How to open lifetime folding table
2019.03.25 01:36 EyebrowHairs Zettelkasten
Manage your knowledge for a life-time with the Zettelkasten method.
2012.11.22 06:30 The official [email protected] subreddit
The official subreddit for the [email protected]
distributed computing project. In [email protected]
, volunteers can use their computer's idle processing time to help scientists research and find cures for diseases such as cancer, Alzheimer's, and viral infections.
2019.01.29 16:18 rockstang A Place to Discuss All Things Medical Marijuana in the State of Pennsylvania
A place for marijuana users of all levels to discuss the aspects of Pennsylvania's medical program. Our forum is open for discussions pertaining to obtaining medical cards and product reviews from Pennsylvania dispensaries. If it has to do with the medical cannabis in Pennsylvania, we want to hear about it. Check out the wiki for community resources and discounts.
2023.06.05 16:24 JundoCohen The Elephant in the Zazen Room
| || | submitted by JundoCohen to zenbuddhism [link] [comments]
If you are bound by worldly matters, you will drown in troubles, just like an old elephant who is stuck in a swamp and cannot get out. -- Master Dogen, Shobogenzo-Hachi Dainingaku https://preview.redd.it/t3agm2xik74b1.jpg?width=845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8dfa3dc375b1317f6933c677274bf3402179c74
Tathagatas do not go anywhere, nor do they come from anywhere . . . and the true nature of dharmas does not come or go. The body of an elephant ... does not come or go. Likewise, tathagatas do not come or go. -- The Perfection of Wisdom in Eight Thousand Lines Sutra
Here's the "elephant in the room
" of Shikantaza
What does it mean to "think-non-thinking
It sounds impossible, like trying not to think of "elephants" after being told not to think of "elephants."
However, it need not be a mammoth task. ;-)
Let's compare our thoughts and emotions, passing through our heart and mind, to large elephants passing through a tiny room. Imagine that you are sitting Zazen in the room, cross legged and comfy, when a huge elephant suddenly wanders in. Actually, it proves to be just the first of a great line, one after another, wandering in as the prior tusker wanders out, trunk-to-tail-to-trunk ... although sometimes with quiet minutes in between. This is our parade of wandering thoughts and many emotions.
Now here's the trick: Pretend for a moment, and truly feel, what the experience might be like if you really and deeply were not bothered by the elephants passing through the room with you, did not care, were totally cool with it, barely even noticed their presence or not at all. We do not try to stop the elephants, but neither do we summon them or play with them. What would it be like in your mind if you were experiencing sitting like that, so calm and still that it is unmoved by elephants passing nearby?
In ordinary life, our daily minds resemble a mad circus, maybe a chaotic jungle. We react to the elephants passing through our awareness, jumping on, leaping from one to the next, pulling their tails, prodding them with a stick, often tangled in their trunks. Sometimes we chase them to catch them, sometimes we run away in fear, sometimes we get trampled underfoot. What is more, all our meddling seemingly summons ever more elephants of thought and emotion into the crowded room. The jumbled circus of "thought jumbos" and "emotion mastodons" never ends, and we taunt them and stir them up more.
But in Zazen, the elephants are tamed ... just by leaving them be, letting them pass by unmolested and without concern. Kangiten, a version of the Hindu Ganesh, adopted into Japanese esoteric Shingon and Tendai Buddhism
In Zazen, whenever an idea elephant wanders into the center ring of our mind, we pay it no nevermind
, do not react, do not applaud or boo, do not jump on, neither prod it, nor hug it, nor pull its tail. We observe without judgement. We sit clear of tusk and trunk, as the pachyderms slowly pass. The elephant's entrance is no more impressive to our heart than our cat's having entered the room, or a breeze or shadow or light beam entering the window, not even that. We see but really do not notice, do not care, do not think it worthy of thought. And if we do happen to notice, we are allowing, even welcoming, ready to make room. Remember this like an elephant that cannot forget
: We are not trying for a room free of elephants, even as the quiet space between beasts may sometimes grow long. Rather, we truly feel the same stillness and space in a room filled with elephants or in their total absence. Please imagine that. An elephant enters Buddha's mother's side at his conception.
What is more, our heart stands in equanimity even should the great creatures lurch and rear up, start to smash the glassware, the tables and chairs. Please, for a moment, try to imagine and feel what such equanimity would feel like. You are okay with it, even if you might be crushed, death met under hoof, sitting in radical equanimity whatever will be. You will let our huge friends move through, let the glass break and the furniture be turned to splinters, your bones to dust. In Shikantaza Zazen we just keep sitting, not reacting, not trying to stop events.
By and by, each thought-ephant wanders out, as naturally as they wandered in. We neither chase nor run away. Our non-reaction does cause less elephants to enter, and the quiet times between trumpeting arrivals becomes ever greater, even if the procession never truly stops. But we are not seeking a room free of elephants. In fact, there is nothing to seek, nothing to chase away. So quiescent are we in heart, that we no longer truly care or notice whether there are elephants present or not, whether they are here or not. In a famous old story (Cullahamsa Jātaka
), the Buddha is said to have tamed an angry and violent elephant with calmness, unflinching in this way. Buddha Taming the Angry Elephant, Nalagiri
Now, I don't mean to say that we are not feeling things in Zazen, for the great beasts are our thoughts and feelings themselves, both pleasant and unpleasant. However, we are feeling equanimity ABOUT those feelings felt. Some of these elephants are truly scary, ugly, tragic and/or threatening, and we should not be afraid of being afraid sometimes! Even should we react (not with calm, but) with the tension, fear, feelings of loss and sadness as is natural when faced with death and destruction charging at us in life, roaring in a rampage ... that tension, fear, loss and sadness is itself
but another elephant which we can then proceed to leave alone. In other words, let's feel equanimity about
our naturally being scared of the really scary elephants. Babar was right to cry when his mother died, and African elephants do grieve. Life may be ultimately like a dream of ele-phantasies, but the scary challenges are real enough. Let the tragic and terrifying herd of sickness, death, loss and losing appear ... and let any accompanying herd of fear, sadness, disappointment and longing appear ... and let them all wander by, together. The heart thereby tamed will be your own.
Bodhisattva Samantabhadra on an Elephant
Please do not misunderstand: What I describe is only a metaphor for thought elephants of the mind in Zazen. Once, visiting India (actual story), I witnessed a flesh and blood bull briefly start to panic and charge a crowd, barely reigned in by its handler, a most frightening sight! Far from sitting Zazen in the elephant's path, I ran with the others! When a worldly danger, whether animal or disease, fire or flood, presents itself, there is a time to sit quietly and accept, and a time to flee to safety or take action, taking our medicine or seeking shelter, sitting afterwards. Of course, even in the time of danger, a calm and easy heart will help the elephant keeper, the patient in hospital, the fire fighter facing a blaze.
Ultimately, if we practice these elephant tricks, letting our "mind-mammoths
" pass unmolested through our little room, the room's walls themselves may come to grow translucent, even vanish, the space proving boundless, as the sitter, the sitting, the open space of the room, its light and shadows, both the cat and the breeze, inside and outside our heart, and all the elephants themselves start to soften, become like crystal, lose separation ... all things, animals, men and moments manifesting both themselves and each other. Like the blindmen who finally realize ears and trunk, legs, flank and tail as the wholeness, the open space is the heavy colossus without weight or mass, the cat is the light purring, the blindmen are the window feeling, the loudest trumpeting is silence and you are the entire herd sitting, while each bull, cow and calf is the whole of all of it passing though, like the air. The whole parade never came from anywhere, never goes anywhere. The rings of the circus prove ensos ...
... elephants-non-elephants, thinking-non-thinking.
AUDIO VERSION OF THIS ESSAY AVAILABLE HERE: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UeEd11gQY15htgH3S9IvPiQL0FO4e2EQ/view
2023.06.05 16:24 denjiiikun Canon MP550 Pixma paper won't go into the printer - what to do?
I received this printer from a friend who didn't need it anymore. I put paper in the paper compartment at the back and try to print something. It's connected to my computer and everything works.
However when i try to print something, it gives this loud noise when the paper is supposed to go into the printer and then i get the ''ran out of paper'' error message.
I think something is jamming the part that's supposed to open to let the paper go in? I'm not sure. Does anyone know how i can fix this?
submitted by denjiiikun
to printers [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:23 TsuKiyoMe Best way to display a Spreadsheet/Table in Premiere?
I'm still somewhat new to Premiere. The videos I make usually involve displaying data (mostly numbers) in a table of rows & columns for my audience to follow along. Up until this point, I've simply just been taking screen grabs of the tables from my Excel Spreadsheet and pasting it inside Premiere.
I figured since I'm still new to this whole thing, there's got to be a better way to display the data than just a picture/screengrab. I've been searching around looking for a template or a tutorial to teach me how to make a template for this exact purpose but I have found nothing. At this point, I'm not even sure you make this in Premiere (Perhaps After Effects? I dunno. Never used it.)
Anyways, I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction. As my channel grows, I'd like my content to improve along with it. Make it look more professional, rather than just use screenshots of Excel.
submitted by TsuKiyoMe
to premiere [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:23 MTVSpoiledMod Important Threads of the Week June 05 - June 11, 2023
Important Threads of the Week June 5 - June 11, 2023 The Departure Day Casting Megathread for Season 39 is LIVE. 🛫
Come leave a comment on JuanRiveara's latest subreddit survey, a look at the top 5 and bottom 5 seasons. He'll come back soon for a results write-up.
Heads up, the USA Challenge Season 2 finished filming last month and is expected to air in August. We still don't know the air dates for All Stars 4. 😕
The winner(s) of USA2 can be found on the 💣Elimination Megathread🌋.
If you want to know who flew out to Croatia and nothing else, NovaRogue has you covered with the Casting Megathread 🗽.
If you are Spoiled on the finalists/winner(s) of the upcoming spinoff seasons, please be considerate of the Unspoiled and only discuss unaired events in threads with the 💣🌋 emojis in the title. We think of ourselves as an Unspoiled community that also gives the Spoiled a few spots to hang out each week.
If you are Unspoiled, we advise you turn off email alerts and also the Reddit app's full-text push notifications so you don't see a spoiler comment before we've had the chance to review it.
(Automated Weekly & Daily threads are posted at 7:00am EST)
*Unspoiled Beware: Threads with 💣 and 🌋 emojis are open to ANY & ALL spoilers, including the season winner(s) from the World Championship season AND All Stars #4 AND USA #2!
|Monday ||Make-A-Caption 💬 |
|Tuesday ||TMI TEA-SDAY - Weekly 💣SPOILED🌋 Discussion |
|Wednesday ||Wake The F*ck Up! 🌄 |
|Thursday ||What’s Your Vendetta? 😈 |
|Friday ||We Got A Clip! 📽️ |
|Saturday & Sunday ||Salty Saturday & Sunday - Unpopular Opinions 🍿 |
DAILY DISCUSSION THREADS:
WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP EPISODE THREAD HUBS
|Monday ||Tuesday ||Wednesday ||Thursday ||Friday ||Saturday ||Sunday |
|6/5 ||6/6 ||6/7 ||6/8 ||6/9 ||6/10 ||6/11 |
The Challenge: USA 🇺🇸
The Challenge: Australia 🇦🇺
The Challenge: Argentina 🇦🇷
The Challenge: UK 🇬🇧
The Challenge: World Championship 🌏
OTHER IMPORTANT THREADS:
*If you have a question or concern, please Message The Mods.
|Announcements ||Highlights & Reminders |
|Ask Me Anything Hub ||Theep's Guide to Spies, Lies & Allies 🕵️♀️🕵️♂️ |
|Milestones: 70k, 75k, 80k, 85k, 90k, 95k 🥳 ||MTVChallenge's casts: Rivals, Exes, BFFs |
|User Census 2020 Results 📈 ||Bartender's Hub - by QuoxyDoc 🍸 |
|Mod Statement #1, Mod Statement #2 ||Levi's Redemption Fan Fiction Season 📚 |
|Is the cast list a spoiler? (Yes.) ||The sub's fav women, The sub's fav men |
|Apply Any Time to Become a Mod ||What Season Should You Watch? 3.0 |
Important threads of last week, May 29 - June 4, 2023.
submitted by MTVSpoiledMod
to MtvChallenge [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:23 iwantrevenge1984 How do you know ?
So how do you know if a married man is telling the truth about being in an open marriage. Talking to this guy who says his marriage is open but has just said his last lady playmate was married but it wasn't open in other words they had an affair.This is not what I want I want an open honest relationship.
submitted by iwantrevenge1984
to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:23 SlowShoes Quick thoughts on 30 different VR games
I'm keeping track of all the VR games I’ve played this year to catalogue them in hopes that they may give fellow VR gamers some fresh games to try out, or reasons to revisit older games that have had big updates. I'm currently up to 52 different VR games played this year. The first 22 that I played from January to March can be found here
. The latest 30 games are mostly on the Quest, but many are available on PCVR.
Some of the games listed below, I can see playing all year long, others are not my cup of tea, but they may interest you enough to try them out. In either case, here are my quick thoughts on the 30 games I’ve played during April and May of 2023. TLDR: My top 5 games to check out are at the bottom and so is some info for a game giveaway.
- ARK and ADE $9.99 Quest / Steam My quick take: A fun shooter with Pistol Whip vibes that is absolutely worth the price of admission. From the store page: “ARK and ADE is an action-jammed FPS shooter in which you get to experience the glory of the 80’s arcade era in a neon fused setting. Shoot your way through retro-futuristic levels filled with enemies, iconic over the top bosses and never ending bullets!” I played this game back when it was in App Lab before it graduated to the full store. It was such a fun shooter back then, and I’d look forward to new levels coming out every few months. Now that it made it out of app lab, has a bunch of levels and had the gameplay polished, it’s absolutely worth a pickup, especially for that price.
- Project Third Eye $9.99 Quest My quick take:A game where you make your own fun. From the store page: “Project Third Eye is an action physics sandbox with a built-in visual scripting panel to apply logic to spawnable items. This allows you to build your own modifications to the game and customize behaviors as you like.” Just like the description says, this is more of a proof of concept and sandbox game more so than a full fledged game with objectives. There are certainly neat ideas here and there, and the dev is really active with updates on Reddit. If you like to experiment and see how concepts develop in a game, you may enjoy this, but there’s no real direction beyond experimenting, so I dropped off fairly quickly.
- Jousting VR Demo $9.99 Quest / Steam Quest Demo My quick take:A bit light on gameplay, but there is some charm here. From the store page:“XIII century, Europe, royal market courtyard. You are a knight who joined the medieval tournament. Your task is 'simple.' Jump on your trusty steed, grab your lance & defeat the enemy. Take into consideration speed, accuracy, strength. Equipment is also important. The better gear the easier the task. Oh, and other knights - they want to win as much as you do.” As advertised, it's a jousting game in VR. I enjoyed the demo, but honestly it was a bit too finicky at times and just not worth a full buy to me. The atmosphere was fun though and there was a progression loop for those who get into it.
- Demeo $39.99 Quest and Steam (flatscreen as well) My quick take:This is a great game that I revisited from start to finish with four players. A must own. From the store page: “Adventurers, it’s time to unite! Gather your friends and fight monsters in Demeo, the turn-based tabletop strategy game of battle and glory. Roll dice, pick up miniatures, and free the world of Gilmerra in round after round of tabletop board game fun. With a huge assortment of monsters, playable classes, and environments to explore, it’s never the same game twice." I finally got a chance to play through the entirety of the game in VR with four friends, through each world, while trying a variety of characters. We even made a video ranking the best players and levels. It really is a solid dungeon crawling adventure. With 2 or more friends, this game really shines and is such a fun ride, despite how punishing the bosses can be. This is the closest you can get to D&D in VR without having a dungeon master. Well worth the asking price.
- Build and Drive Racing Demo Free Quest / Steam My quick take: Early days in development, maybe something to keep an eye on to see how it improves. From the store page: "Get ready for a new experience on Windows desktop and VR, where you get to build your ultimate racing machine, tailored to your driving style and optimized for performance, or race to the finish line with a monster what makes you smile. With stylised graphics and arcade-like physics, every turn, straightway and ramp will put your skills to the test. Feel the thrill of the race like never before in VR, as you immerse yourself counting the seconds on the home stretch." An early demo that has seen some updates. Maybe worth looking at in a few months after a bit more development. I did like what I saw, but honestly, if you’re looking for a finished racing game, try Mini Motor Racing X instead or some of the other heavier PCVR games available.
- Les Mills Body Combat $29.99 Quest My quick take: No subscriptions, great coaches and fun workouts that will make you sweat. From the store page: “Work out at home with a premium fitness app. LES MILLS, the world's leading fitness company, brings the BODYCOMBAT experience to your VR headset with an extensive workout portfolio, top-quality coaching, innovative mechanics, and different intensities.” With no subscriptions or hidden fees, lots of workouts, motivating coaches and the ability to compete with friends on leaderboards, this really is a dynamite workout app. I was working up a good sweat during my workouts, so be sure you have good facial insert and a fan ready. Highly recommended if you want a workout in VR for just the price of entry.
- Interkosmos 2000 $19.99 Quest / Steam My quick take:A difficult puzzle game, but rewarding if you have the patience. From the store page: “Go to space. Save the Future. Try not to Die. Welcome (back) to the world of Interkosmos for an even wilder, weirder and more wondrous adventure. Experience the intense exhilaration of spaceflight. Explore the awe-inspiring interiors of a realistic space capsule. Master the crucial systems that will keep you in orbit (and breathing). And while you’re at it, try your best not to die. Should you complete your mission, you just might save the future – and yourself. Should you fail? Let’s not think about that.” An intense puzzle game where you’re piloting a space ship with some very finicky controls. I found the experience way too difficult and exacting. Along with a bit of bugginess, that didn’t help in me determining if the error was my fault or the game's. If you have the patience, there certainly is some rewarding gameplay here, and an interesting story, but I found it all a bit too much to see to the end.
- The Light Brigade $24.99 Quest / Steam My quick take: In a world of rougelikes, this is one that stands out. From the store page: “As a member of The Light Brigade, humanity’s last line of defense, brave ruins bathed in darkness and free the trapped souls who need the salvation only your gun can provide. Shoot, master spells, and upgrade your capabilities to herald the Sun’s return in this roguelike VR shooter.” There’s quite a lot of rouge shooters on Quest and despite the plethora of choices, this one stands out. Be warned, it starts out slowly, but gets quite fun after you get to know the systems after about an hour in. While I did make it to the last boss, I died and never went back to finished it. The gameplay loop and dynamic levels were solid though. The slight upgrades and different classes during each run were interesting and kept me going for a while. The most frustrating time I had was learning the little tips, tricks and finer gameplay points, but it was worth the push through that initial rough patch.
- Resident Evil 4 $39.99 Quest My quick take: One of the best games in VR. A must own. From the store page: “Explore the world of Resident Evil 4, entirely remastered for VR. Step into the shoes of special agent Leon S. Kennedy on his mission to rescue the U.S. President’s daughter who was kidnapped by a mysterious cult. Come face to face with enemies, and uncover secrets with gameplay that revolutionized the survival horror genre. Battle horrific creatures and face-off against mind-controlled villagers while discovering their connection to the cult behind the abduction.” I forgot so much about this game from when I first played it 18 years ago on the GameCube. The long length, fun characters and how exciting the gun play is, all just came together perfectly. The development team spent a ton of time getting the VR feeling just right, and it’s absolutely one of the best on the Quest and well worth the price of entry. Additionally, once you play through the game the first time it really changes from survival horror to a whole new type of game action game. Simply outstanding.
- Mini Golf Hustler Free Quest My quick take: Early days in development. Some good ideas, but a bit too rough around the edges. From the store page: “Challenge Slick Willie Puttman in this FREE nine hole demo of Mini Golf Hustler. Hazards include armed torpedoes, tentacled arms, ornery tikis and more! Multiple betting games, including skins, match play and the fearsome traveling snake. All played at the same time.” I thought I’d check out another mini golf game to see what other ideas there might be outside of the king - Walkabout Mini Golf. While there were some solid ideas for holes, the betting felt uneven, and everything else felt in their very early stages. To be fair, no other mini golf game feels even close to the accuracy of Walkabout, so I think it’s a tough go for any other games to match. It's probably best to stick with the champ for now, but I applaud the dev for trying something different.
- Pin City Free Quest (open beta on Discord) / Steam My quick take: Early days, but wow, worth a download and one to watch in the future. From the store page: "Pin City is a bowling game unlike any other bowling game you’ve played before. We strove to bring the spirit of mini-golf into the world of bowling. We’ve taken the standard bowling setup (straight lane, 10 pins, 1 ball) and expanded, transformed, and evolved it. We wanted to give people a chance to bowl in ways that would be impossible, illegal, or extremely impractical.” An early alpha game, but boy, what a great start, I’m really looking forward to the team getting the physics feeling right with weight and feel of the bowling balls and seeing how much more gameplay they can add. Really worth the download or heading over to their Discord to get a Quest key for free to try it out. The quirky bowling, physics and gameplay they're experimenting with really got me excited to see how this one comes together in the next several months.
- Mash Me Up Free Quest My quick take: Please devs, add more multiplayer support! From the store page: “Do you want to play party games with your friends or meet someone new? All is just one button press away with Mash Me Up. One button, multiple games. Will it be Air Hockey, Pier Pong, Flingball, or… Get ready for a surprise! Press, Play, Enjoy and Go Again!” If this game got a bit more development love it would be incredible. As it stands now, there are several mini games you can play against one person. Most are just okay, but a handful are real gems, and one particularly is incredible - Geo Guesser. Hands down the best mini game in the pack. With four, or six players and some new content, they could easily charge for just this one game. As it stands now, it’s a great two player game, but you’ll need to bring your own friend as the servers are pretty barren. Worth a download though for sure as you’ll get a night of fun out of it.
- THZZLS - Treasures Lost In Time $4.99 Quest My quick take: A unique puzzler that can be pretty relaxing, but repetitive. From the store page: “Our first THZZLE is called "Der Bazar", the world's first VR toy theatre puzzle game. The Bazar is a VR puzzle game where you have to place furniture and props in the right places in old-fashioned rooms according to an old picture you see. The game is set in 19th century Germany and each room has objects taken from the German lifestyle magazine "Der Bazar", published in Berlin.” This one used to be free, with paid content, but it has since changed as they added more content. You recreate a scene with cutouts of people and furniture in a 3D space. It seemed to have endless puzzles with randomization of scenes. I could see someone going to this for a relaxing 10-15 minutes, but it is a lot of the same each time and didn’t grab me fully. If you’re looking for a puzzle game that’s outside of the usual ones you find in the store, it’s not a bad choice for the price. Keep in mind though its hand tracking only, so for some that may be a non starter, even though it felt just fine.
- Barbaria $19.99 Quest / Steam My quick take:What I imagine Gorn is like with a solid game loop of RTS. From the store page: “Do you have what it takes to be the Mightiest in Barbaria? Welcome to a brutal world where visceral motion-controlled combat blends seamlessly with god-scale base-building and asynchronous multiplayer raids. Use fists, axes, swords, bows, rocks, or anything you can grab to dominate your foes in intense 1st-person combat. Then jump out to your immortal form and watch your minions carry on the battle while you rain down meteors from above. Systemic combat, versatile enemy AI, and player-created defenses make every battle unique.” I recognize there is a lot here to do in this game - if you like the game loop. Unfortunately, it really didn’t do much for me. I was expecting more RTS than Gorn style gameplay and was not pulled in by the fighting or quests offered. I have to say that the humor was spot on, and it certainly had good visuals, the game was just not for me. All that being said, there is a lot of content here and you could be playing this for quite some time if you think this could be your jam.
- Toy Monsters Free Quest Demo / $4.99 Quest My quick take:Plants vs Zombies in AR with hand tracking that does enough unique stuff to be worth it. From the store page: “Toy Monsters VR is a mixed-reality tabletop tower defense inspired by classic Plants vs Zombies. Built from the ground up with hand tracking and passthrough in mind. As you progress through the 20 levels, you'll unlock new toys with unique special powers. You can enhance your toys with magical potions and use crystal power to unleash magic beams from your hands, transform your fingers into flamethrowers, and more.” This game has come a long way since its initial release. It’s a solid hand tracking Plants vs. Zombies game with its own twist on powers and uses passthrough quite nicely. My biggest complaint is that you really need to complete the game all in one go (about an hour or so) as it doesn’t keep track of your upgrades if you quit. Essentially, trying to pass a later level without prior upgrades or powerups is near impossible. Despite that one issue, give at least the demo a try and if you like it, the price is pretty fair for what you get.
- Exit Condition One Free Quest Demo / $4.99 Quest My quick take: A bit rough around the edges, but escape room fans will find fun with it. From the store page: “You awake from cryo in a mysterious museum. A robot refers to you as a curator and the security system is malfunctioning. Can you get things back to normal and escape? There are no jump scares. The game is designed ground-up for roomscale VR on the Quest, but supports all locomotion modes. Most objects can be interacted with, it fully uses physics, and the hands don't ‘ghost out.’” According to the description, this is still a work in progress. That being said, it was a neat escape game that I felt I got my money’s worth from. It certainly was a bit rough around the edges with its gameplay and had some obscure puzzles to work through, but I did finish it and had a good time with it. Try the demo for sure, and perhaps when it’s finally finished, some of those rough edges will be polished up, but as it stands now, it was pretty solid.
- Hyperdash Free Quest/Steam My quick take: A solid online shooter, but you'll have to put in the time to get good to find the fun. From the store page: “Hyper Dash is a free VR multiplayer team based shooter. Payload, Domination, Control Point, (Team) Deathmatch, Capture The Flag, Elimination, Ball and remix them with Mutators! Dash, sprint, and rail grind your way across the arenas to engage the enemy in fast-paced combat and secure the objective for your team. Offline mode/Bots, Dedicated servers, Private servers, Rebind-able controls, Left hand support, Voice chat.” For a free to play shooter, this one had great controls, nice graphics, a good gameplay loop, plenty of comfort options and a solid player base. All that being said, every player I faced off against were top tier, so I spent my time just dying round after round. This is a good game with a solid player base and there's fun here - if you’re willing to learn the ropes. It's bad for newbies like me just looking to have a good time and get a few kills.
- Please, Don’t Touch Anything $9.99 Quest / $4.99 Steam My quick take: A game for escape room devotees only. From the store page: "Please, Don’t Touch Anything is a cryptic, brain-racking button-pushing puzzle game. Covering for a colleague taking a bathroom break, you find yourself in front of a mysterious console with a green screen monitor showing a pixelated live image of an unknown city. Also present is an ominous red button with the simple instruction to not touch anything! Push the red button once or press it many times. Your choices and actions will lead to outrageous and frightening consequences and over 30 unique puzzle endings.” This is a weird one. A really obscure puzzle game that rewards experimentation, but is absolutely punishing with difficulty. If you’re really good at escape games and don’t get frustrated easily, you may enjoy the tedium. If not, you’ll end up like me, watching a tutorial to find out how to get different endings. But if you find yourself doing that, why not just watch a playthrough.
- Eleven Table Tennis $29.99 Quest/Steam My quick take: Still one of the best, but there’s so much untapped potential. From the store page: “The ultimate Table Tennis simulator. Play opponents in online multiplayer or practice against the advanced AI. With physics designed to be as real as ever achieved in a Table Tennis simulator, you will forget you are in VR." I finally got back to this game after the new UI was implemented. It looks much more user friendly, but much to my disappointment, there were no new arenas, music, or official doubles options. There is so much potential for expanding this game, and I feel like the devs are just content to have it remain in the state it currently is. Which, to be fair, is a perfect implementation of table tennis in VR. It’s still one of the best VR games out there and absolutely a must own. I just really wish they would add an officially supported doubles mode and expand out the game a bit more because the unofficial doubles mode is a real pain to get set up and only barely worth the struggle. If you'd like to see how to set that doubles up currently, here is a video I was a part of.
- Breachers $29.99 Quest/Steam My quick take: Come one, come all, this is 5 v 5 at its finest. From the store page: “In Breachers, you plan your assault or orchestrate your defense as a team through intense close-quarters combat. Whether you play as an enforcer or a revolter, master your nifty gadgetry, customize your powerful weaponry and beat your opponents in stunning environments. Intuitive to grasp. Endlessly playable.” Wow, wow, wow. This officially launched and is such a polished game. With multiple maps, intuitive movement and full lobbies, this game is simply spectacular. Despite the difficulty curve in being good at the game, it’s still a fun time even if you’re not the best, which is something special that few games manage to pull off. Where this game especially shines is with friends. If you can muster up a team of five to take on other random players, you’ll be playing this game for months. Give this a go, and if you're not any good, that's okay, because you'll still be better than the bots and a welcome addition to someone's team.
- Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Outcast (Sidequest mod) Free Demo on Quest / $9.99 (Full Game on Steam) My quick take: Come for the lightsaber play, stay if you can tolerate the puzzles. From the store page: “JK XR is a standalone VR port of the popular Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast game by Lucasarts and Raven Software. Brought to VR by Team Beef & Friends. There are lots of mods and access to the free demo level available through the JK XR Companion App, which is automatically also installed alongside JK XR on your headset.” I never played this game when it first came out on flatscreen in 2002, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. The first part of the game you’re playing essentially as a Han Solo type - a smart talkin’ gun slinger. The next part, you’re a cool Jedi chopping off limbs. Absolutely great execution as always by Team Beef, and you can’t beat the price. There is even a free demo to try out to see if you like it. All that being said, the game’s old puzzles, navigation and gameplay felt every bit of 20 years old. After dying multiple times because of missing an exact jump, getting lost and backtracking because I didn't see an obscure elevator and wasting time trying to navigate odd puzzles, I just found it to be too much to overcome to continue to the end. This is no slight on Team Beef and the great work they did with this port, the game just hasn’t aged the best.
- CoasterMania $9.99 Quest My quick take:Early days, but still some fun to be had. There could be something special here after a few updates. From the store page: “CoasterMania is a physics-based VR rollercoaster game where you create the ride of your life! Use wacky contraptions and elements to fly through the sky, then experience your creation by jumping in the front seat. Sandbox mode: Build your dream rollercoaster without any rules but the rules of physics. When you're done, share your coaster or experience the engineering marvels of others. Design your own rides and upload them online.” You know, this game is just silly fun. It's early days for sure, and the tracks don't twist and come together as easily together as I’d hoped, which makes for a difficult time creating exactly what you want. It is satisfying though to have a roller coaster leap from one track to another over a gap. At this point the game is more of a sandbox than a full game with objectives (which is coming). The coasters other people have created are fun, so if you’re not into creating, there is that option to play with other people's designs, plus you can ride them in first person. I look forward to more updates and think it's worth looking at for sure, but if you’re looking for something a bit more fleshed out currently you can try Stunt Track Builder.
- David Slade Mysteries: Case Files $9.99 Quest/Steam My quick take: You’re a forensic cop, here are your tools. Good luck dummy. From the store page: “Take to the dark and violent streets of downtown Riverside, where you investigate gruesome and violent homicides using a range of Forensic tools and your wits! Inspired by the classic Police Quest adventure series, reborn & reimagined for VR. Includes two epic episodes!” Slade is a murder mystery game that is ruthless in it’s difficulty. Honestly, there are several play throughs of this game on YouTube and none have beaten the first case because it was too hard, they all gave up. This game offers no hints, is super abstract and insanely difficult. Why did I keep playing? Well, the game’s tools were implemented quite well, the story was compelling, and I just felt I had to see this through to the end for my own sanity. Despite being as hard as nails, I somehow managed to finish the first case, then moved on to the second. No real spoilers, but the second case does a complete 180 and essentially becomes a horror game where you’re only weapon is your wits. A real departure from the first case. Again, I found myself frustrated, confused and turned around, but again, I had to power through it because something kept pulling me in. If you’re a masochist for puzzle games, I’d recommend this game.
- Home Detective Free w/IAP - Quest My quick take:Fun use of AR, but pretty basic. From the store page: “Use your own living room to solve the crime! Using passthrough, the crime scene is overlaid onto your play area, leaving you free to explore and find clues. Use the patent-pending Residual Heat Scanner to detect the criminals' recent movements, and then dust for fingerprints or try to find evidence left behind. With your wits, and your trusty sidekick Steve Dobbins' snarky comments, you're sure to get to the bottom of these confusing crimes.” I appreciate the interesting use of passthrough and AR in this game. The first case is free to try, so if you’re into AR and passthrough, it’s worth a try. It's $3.99 for another case if you’re into it, but right now, it’s a pretty basic, but solid idea. My biggest complaint is that all my tools were on a shelf that was inaccessible because they were in my wall. I guess AR is still not quite there yet.
- Vertigo Remastered $24.99 Steam My quick take: A fun and wacky ride from start to finish. From the store page: “It's a classic premise - a massive subterranean scientific facility full of mysteries, with aliens bursting in from alternate universes to wreak havoc. The twist? You're one of those aliens. But you're not here to wreak havoc (collateral damage disregarded), you're just trying to get home. A difficult endeavor, as it turns out this facility is more than prepared to deal with extraterrestrial threats.” Because I heard such great things about Vertigo 2, I thought I’d try out this game before I played the sequel. I was really blown away by how fun the game was and pleasantly surprised that it holds up so well. Considering its a 2016 remake, and VR was still figuring out a lot of things like movement, this still felt fresh. With lots of unique ideas, upgrades and areas to play in, I heartily recommend this one and am looking forward to playing the sequel.
- Playin’ Pickleball $19.99 Quest My quick take:Solid physics, but really only for pickleball fans, or a group of four friends. From the store page: “Playin’ Pickleball is an authentic reproduction of Pickleball in Virtual Reality! Physics, sounds and mechanics have been carefully mapped from actual Pickleball game play. Even the scoring and rules are based on the USA Pickleball Association’s Official Rulebook.” Pickleball is sweeping the nation and if I recall correctly, even ForeVR is getting in on the game with an upcoming title. I’m much more of a tennis than pickleball guy, but I have to say, this game has pretty solid physics. Like most games, this is exponentially better with one or better yet, three other people you know. The AI players can be pretty uninteresting hitting it back and forth without much variance. Also the environments are a bit basic. I have to applaud the movement, physics and customizable items though as they all felt very well implemented. If you want something a bit less daunting than tennis, this might be what you're looking for.
- Pong $6.99 Quest My quick take:A neat take on Pong, but you’ll have more fun with Cybrix. From the store page: “Classic paddle game reimagined for VR. Destroy all the bricks. Use your paddles to swing at the balls and the balls have built-in assistance to return back toward you. Take advantage of the pistol and magneto power-ups to cause major damage. Or just swing hard at the balls to create large blast radius. Oh and watch out for those mines going for your head. Lean left/right or crouch to avoid.” I appreciated the ideas the developers had in this modern take on Pong, but it was ultimately quite short and not nearly as fun as Cybrix. That being said for the price, I got my money’s worth and would love to see it get a bit more polish and levels in an update.
- Extreme Escape $4.99 Quest / Steam (Early Access) My quick take:One of those special games where you really feel like you're in the environment. From the store page: “Have you ever wondered how it would feel to travel in a hot air balloon and fly above clouds? Have you ever wanted to face your fear of heights and enclosed spaces? Perhaps you wanted to become a pilot and test your critical thinking skills. Looking for a breathtaking experience? Try Extreme Escape.” The game says “early access,” but honestly I believe this has been abandoned. For the price, you get an extremely short, but fun and unique escape room experience. You’re not going to find this game too hard, but I was brought into its world and completely immersed - I had a true sense of dread and panic. The even shorter “demo” inside the game puts you on a sinking submarine and was extremely memorable. Seldom have I felt so immersed in a game. I’d recommend it for this price, just because of how it made me feel, but it’s a real shame about the very short length and that it’s abandoned.
- The Last Worker $19.99 Quest / SteamMy quick take:Gaming with a heavy message, but mediocre gameplay. From the store page:“The Last Worker is an immersive narrative adventure centered around a lone worker’s last stand in an increasingly automated world, The Last Worker is a unique blend of work simulation and stealth strategic gameplay. The game is set in a lonely, oppressive but strangely beautiful environment, with characters designed by comics legend Mick McMahon. Kurt works for the world’s largest retailer and is forced to choose between capitalism or activism. Having dedicated his life to work, Kurt’s loyalty is put to the test when a group of activists ask him to dismantle Jüngle from the inside.” I really wanted to like this game. It had an interesting concept, but navigating, fail states and some very annoying bugs frustrated me to the point where I just said it wasn’t worth my time. That and the story wasn’t speaking to me. It’s well rated, so I’m probably on the opposite side of this one from most people. It's unique in many ways, so check out the teaser and see if it might be for you.
- Shadow Point $19.99 Quest My quick take:Fisherman’s Tale vibes with an excellent story and puzzles that makes you feel smart. From the store page: “Built for VR, Shadow Point is a story-driven puzzle game set between a mountaintop observatory and an ever-changing fantasy world. Explore a vibrant kingdom, cast shadows and solve mind-bending puzzles as you uncover the mystery of missing schoolgirl, Lorna McCabe who vanished from Shadow Point Observatory twelve years ago. As your adventure unfolds, you will manipulate gravity, play with your own reflection, walk on walls, peer through a magical lens to reveal an alternate reality and much more.” I had this game on my wishlist forever and finally pulled the trigger, and boy am I glad I did. I really enjoyed the story, gameplay and ended up marathoning it in one session (which I don't recommend doing). It is a few hours long, and there are extra puzzles to go back to if you’d like. It had some serious Fisherman’s Tale vibes, so if you like those type of puzzle games, this is for you. The puzzles make you stop and think, and more importantly, progress nicely. I was never stuck, but certainly had to really contemplate how to solve some of them. It is slightly finicky with having to line up the shadows exactly to progress, but that is a minor complaint. Give this one a go for sure.
I hope you find a few games on this list that you might not have heard of, or that you might find worth revisiting. Let me know here or on the Ruff Talk Discord channel
if you have a game you enjoy that I should try, I'm always open to recommendations. Until then, I hope your next VR experience is a memorable one.
Also, the week this is posted, I'm hosting a contest where one winner gets a $29.99 or less, Quest game of their choice. You can enter on the discord channel above, but will need to have five posts on the discord channel within a week to enter, so if that interests you, feel free to join. The Ruff Talk guys usually have giveaways every week and it's some solid VR chat if you're looking for like-minded individuals in a non-toxic space.
TLDR: Top five games to check out - Ark and Ade
, Pin City
, Shadow Point
, Vertigo Remastered
submitted by SlowShoes
to RuffTalkVR [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:22 Johnny-Virgil It’s just trolling me at this point. What am I doing wrong? (New to this and testing it out..)
Me: How can I limit garbage collection to a single server in a sharepoint farm?
To limit garbage collection to a single server in a SharePoint farm, you can use the SharePoint Central Administration and PowerShell commands. Here's an outline of the steps:
- Open SharePoint Central Administration on the server where you want to limit garbage collection.
- Go to "Application Management" and click on "Manage content databases."
- Select the content database for which you want to configure garbage collection.
- In the database settings page, locate the "Server" section and choose the server where you want to limit garbage collection.
- Save the settings and exit SharePoint Central Administration.
Additionally, you can also use PowerShell to achieve the same result. Here's an example PowerShell command:
powershell $wa = Get-SPWebApplication "" $wa.GarbageCollectorSettings.Enabled = $false $wa.Update()
Replace with the actual URL of your SharePoint web application. This command disables garbage collection for the specified web application, effectively limiting it to a single server.
Remember to run the PowerShell command as an administrator on one of the SharePoint farm servers.
Please note that limiting garbage collection to a single server may affect the performance and reliability of your SharePoint farm. Ensure that you have considered the implications before making any configuration changes.
Me: Step 4 is not possible. That option doesn’t exist.
I apologize for the confusion. You are correct; there is no specific option in SharePoint Central Administration to limit garbage collection to a single server. Garbage collection is a farm-wide process and cannot be easily restricted to a single server.
By default, garbage collection is performed on each server in the SharePoint farm independently. SharePoint uses a timer job called "Expiration Policy" to manage the process. However, you can modify the garbage collection schedule or disable it on specific servers using PowerShell commands.
To disable garbage collection on a particular server, you can use the following PowerShell command:
powershell $server = Get-SPServer -Identity "" $server.GCSettings.Enabled = $false $server.Update() Replace with the name of the server where you want to disable garbage collection. Please note that modifying the garbage collection behavior may have implications on overall farm performance and should be done with caution.
Me: Gcsettings.enabled doesn’t exist either.
I apologize for the incorrect information in my previous response. You are right, there is no GCSettings.Enabled property available for SharePoint servers.
In SharePoint, garbage collection is managed at the farm level and runs on all servers within the farm by default. It is not possible to limit garbage collection to a single server through built-in SharePoint configuration options.
If you have a specific need to control garbage collection on a single server, you might consider disabling or rescheduling the timer job responsible for garbage collection on that server. However, please be aware that modifying the default behavior of garbage collection can have implications for the overall performance and stability of your SharePoint farm.
submitted by Johnny-Virgil
to ChatGPT [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:22 Ass4DaysIsTaken Game won't let me progress...
I had just finished the pavlov complex but did not want to do the wierd pump boss thingy yet. I remeberd that I saw alot of chest full of loot in a sealed room at the beginning of the pavlov complex level but didn't have the code of the lock. So I looked up the code and went back. To my surprise when the elavator did not give me the option to go back and the doors between the water puzzle and the medical labs couldn't be opened (thus the pictures). All my saved files are from the pavlov complex so reloading an older save is nog possible. How do i get to the surface again without beginning a new game? Thanks in advance for helping and sorry if this is a really dumb question. Im playing this on pc with mouse and keyboard, and launched the game via the xbox windows app btw.
submitted by Ass4DaysIsTaken
to atomicheart [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:22 KaleidoscopeOk2313 I think my mom may have ruined my chance of growing up with a dad...
How do approach asking my dad if my mom ever stopped letting him see me?..
Can I trust him?
Seriously I'm starting to question how much truth my mom actually spoke and how much of it was her being a vindictive person..
She always said she never had stopped me from seeing him (when he was found she allowed him to come back into my life as long as he was there).. but I'm wondering how much she was at fault for things.
But what has me questioning it even more is that the second my dad came back into my life he's been there... No questions asked. If I needed to get away from her, he took me away.. Birthdays? He came My kids birth? He came the day he was born. Kids birthday? He's there. Holidays? He's there..
There is never any guilt trips. None of the things she's ever done to me as a parent...
Am I just comparing them? Am I wrong for wondering? I don't know... But I low key want to get his side of things.. I just don't know how to approach it without opening up the anger and possible sadness that comes with getting the answers i might be looking for..
submitted by KaleidoscopeOk2313
to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:22 Awkward-Yak-2844 Landlord not responding and I am breaking lease early. Am I in the wrong? Pictures included
| || |
To make things short and sweet, I moved into this place in May a couple of days after they said it would be ready. When I first moved in we didn’t have a stove for 3 days, there were birds in the ceiling and they escaped and pooped on the couches, along with exposed plumbing, unclean floors, and hot water that barely got up to lukewarm temperatures. submitted by Awkward-Yak-2844 to helpdesk [link] [comments]
The place was unlivable when first moving in and so far the only thing they have done is put in a stove as well as fixing the hot water this morning. My father is a landlord back home and I know that in Ohio you are supposed to clean the entire apartment and replace carpets that are stained which neither have happened.
I emailed my apartment the Sunday before Memorial Day, not expecting a response right away but maybe in a few days, and then emailed again that following Thursday. I have not heard a single word from them with either email. I told them I was leaving because of conditions in the apartment as well as medical reasons for moving home.
There is also no clause in the contract that I need to pay extra or will be charged for ending the lease early. There is nothing at all in the lease agreement that says I will be fined. Is this something that can come back and hurt me?
2023.06.05 16:22 autotldr The Supreme Court Is Corrupt Because It’s Conservative
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original
reduced by 80%. (I'm a bot)
It's June, which for the politically minded American means one thing above all else: It's time to brace ourselves for another cascade of reactionary Supreme Court decisions. Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: Court#1 believe#2 right#3 law#4 Justice#5
Before we get to specific cases, let's muse on where this court stands right now in historical terms.
Let's call the Supreme Court what it is: an openly corrupt institution whose right-wing members are destroying its reputation because they simply do not care how the broader public sees them.
I refer here specifically to Amy Coney Barrett giving that speech pleading that the justices "Aren't a bunch of partisan hacks"-while sharing a stage with Mitch McConnell, the greatest legislative corrupter of the Supreme Court in modern history.
Brett Kavanaugh lied at his 2006 confirmation hearing to join the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals about at least two matters.
This will be interesting because the circuit court upheld the Harvard criteria being challenged in one of the cases-based on multiple previous Supreme Court rulings! But everybody thinks they're going to kiss that goodbye.
Post found in /politics and /antiscotus.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr
to autotldr [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 Ok_Ninja5942 Fuel Share (San Diego)
I’ve seen that it may be illegal to try and sell your Mirai fuel card… but is it illegal to share the card with the other brave people that have endured how unreliable the fuel stations have been? I still have over 11k on my card and it’s about to expire in October 2023… TLDR: Interested in organizing meet-ups at the Misson Valley station to share my card to help others. No gimmicks; I want to help others and not let this balance go to waste.
Those who live in San Diego will know the struggles we have had in the past years to even use the station in Del Mar and dealt with the horrible techs that treat you like shit (not all but some). Not only that, but being lied to when you bought the car used. If you want to hear my story and or know you were not alone feel free to read on… otherwise the text below is just a rant of me sharing my quams with the whole process.
For me it was being lied to about the car being involved in an accident and getting a surprise when getting to the finance office. I had called out the fact that I noticed damaged and the sales person straight up lied to me up and until I was about to sign the paperwork. Not only that the sales person was making racist jokes about the finance guy (the sales person and I are white and the finance guy was of a minority). The finance guy did not seem to mind…. But who knows if he was saving face in an uncomfortable situation, either way I was uncomfortable.
I raised my concerns about how I’d been watching the Mission Valley Station since 2019 and it said it was slated to open in early 2020, originally stated it was to open late 2019 and I had seen it delayed before (this way my main objection as I was skeptical of it’s availibility… if only I had a time machine).I was told that the station would be opening when I pressed harder for a solid date they told me the hydrogen website was accurate and there would be no delays (This was Oct 2020, reguardless of your believes, the world was going though some shit, and I understand that there may be delays caused buy such an unpresidented event). This was out of their control those as I guess there was a lawsuit against putting the station in, then the station decided to scrape and rebuild the entire station from the tanks up.
There were many red flags here, but I had just been laid off due to the pandemic and was desperate for a car and believed heavily in the present and future of Hydrogen and wanted to help support the growth of infrastructure.
There were some technical issues with the car too… the heated steering wheel would turn on and off by itself. I had never owned a car with this many bells and whistles, so I thought that it was a feature when it would come on… but then realized that it was the first summer I had the car and the wheel would turn on when it was 100 out and I would not be able to turn it off. One day when I took in the car for service, the tech proactively asked me if my steering would turn on and off by itself, I was like YES how did you know?! (Must be a known defect with the car) Either way they tried to charge me 1500 for the new console since the whole thing had to be replaced to fix the defect. I spent a lot of time talking with Toyota and the fact that it must be a known issue if the tech asked me, they made a one time exception which I was grateful for.
There have been a handfull more of issues that I will not get into, but I did try to call Toyota, explaining the challenges I had with using the fuel card and they basically told me to get stuffed. I’m a father of two neborn twins and the options for hydrogen vehicles has shifted and I may need to go the EV route for a few years. I’m incredibly optimisic of the future of hydrogen and I feel it’s a better long term solution than EVs. So heres to hoping I can help others by sharing my free fuel.
submitted by Ok_Ninja5942
to Mirai [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 Sunny25069 How do you meet people??
So it's pretty simple, I live in a small town in the UK and in my life have known a total of 2 openly gay guys. To say I feel pent up would be an understatement. Where is everyone and how do I meet them? Should I just move to a city?
submitted by Sunny25069
to askgaybros [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 Resident_Profile_582 My (26 f) fiancé (27 m) is pressuring me to co-sign on a mortgage
My 27 year old fiancé of four years really wants to buy a house. He makes around $50k - $55k a year, and recently bought a new car for $30k that he is struggling to pay off monthly. He has around $9,000 to his name in savings, and money for the down payment that he inherited from his grandfather. (The total is around 80k.)
I make more ($90k per year) and have no debt. That being said, I am still in my 20s and I feel like I’m not ready to commit to a house, especially in this market (I also live in Connecticut, where property taxes are crazy.)
I would rather save my money a bit more for a house, and then in the meantime spend on travel, etc. I told him this, and he still was very adamant in pushing forward with the house.
He told me he would buy the house himself, and I could pay him monthly rent that would go towards the mortgage. I was open to that idea, until he tried to get pre-approved for a mortgage, and was told his loan would be at max $240k, which can’t get you very far.
He is now asking me to co-sign for him so he can get more buying power. I told him I’d have to think about it.Although this will get us more buying power for a larger loan, I don’t know if this is something I want to get into. He can barely afford life as is, and I worry I’d end up in over my head.
This has been quite a difficult situation for both of us and it's been causing a lot of tension in our relationship. He is now a bit upset with my inability to commit to him, and he feels unsupported by me. He is very insistent on the idea of homeownership while I'm more cautious, especially considering the financial implications.
I love him and want to support his dreams, but I also have to think about my own financial stability and future.
I would really appreciate your advice on this matter. Is there something I'm not considering? Is there a better way to handle this situation? Should I stand my ground and refuse to co-sign the loan, or should I compromise and take the risk? I am open to all suggestions and would really value your input. Thanks in advance.
*To clarify: we are engaged, but no plans or a date for a wedding for a number of reasons, such as my hesitation regarding finances, and my dealing with a few other personal issues that made me want to not rush into marriage. He also agreed he wanted a long engagement.
TL;DR: fiancé of 4 years is insistent on buying a house despite his financial struggles. He wants me to co-sign on a mortgage loan to increase our buying power. I am hesitant due to my desire for financial stability. The situation has caused tension in our relationship. Seeking advice on how to navigate this complex issue.
submitted by Resident_Profile_582
to relationships [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 AndersIsHorny The Secret - Part Three
| || | submitted by AndersIsHorny to GayShortStories [link] [comments]
Here is part three of a story that I wrote AGES ago. My writing style was pretty rough back then, so be kind. Love you all and hope that you enjoy! Part One Part Two
Riley led the way inside. “Do you have a change of clothes?”
“Yeah, I left them on the table over there.” I pointed to the other room. He went over and collected them since I was still pretty unstable on my feet. He ushered me to the bathroom and offered to keep me from tipping over while I got changed. I gladly accepted. He saved me from falling down two or three times while I was trying to get my feet into my boxers.
“Dude you are a mess.” He laughed.
“I told you I’ve never drank before.”
“Haha, I guess you weren’t lying.”
Once I was dressed he set me down in the living room and went to get changed himself. After a few minutes he returned and led the way down into the basement. Erin’s family had converted the basement into an entertainment room. Riley took a seat on the massive leather couch and motioned for me to sit beside him. He reached around behind the couch and pulled out a pair of Nintendo controllers. He handed me one before hitting a few buttons on a massive remote control. Suddenly the lights went out, a motorized screen rolled down from the ceiling and a projector clicked on.
The next thing I knew, I was in a heated MarioKart battle on a massive screen. The first few rounds, it was all my inebriated brain could do to keep me on the track, but after a while I started to sober up slightly and won a few races.
“Did you go to high school with Mike?”
“Nah, he and I met in college.”
“You come back here with him often?” I assumed he did based on how well he knew Mike’s entertainment system.
“Yeah, I don’t really go back to my place very often on breaks so Mike invites me to come here usually.”
“Oh that’s nice of him.”
“Yeah, he’s a really nice guy.” He stopped talking for a moment to concentrate on a difficult portion of the course. “You know you really fucked up your chances with Erin tonight.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah dude. You don’t ditch a chick to hang out with her brother and his friends.”
“But I’m having fun doing this…”
“More fun than you’d be having if you were up in her room right now?” he raised an eyebrow at me.
“I don’t really know.” The booze took over for a moment and I added, “I’ve never really done any of that kind of stuff before.”
“Hung out with a girl?” he elbowed me and I momentarily lost control of my kart.
“No, ya know. Sex stuff.”
“Oh, well you won’t really know what you’re missing out on until you try it.”
I concentrated on the game for a while before I had the courage to ask him, “What does a vagina feel like?”
He was so caught off guard by my question that he crashed his kart. “What?”
“What does it feel like?”
“I don’t know dude!” he tried to laugh off my question.
“You’ve never had sex before?” I assumed that since he was attractive and in college that he would have by now.
“I’ve had sex before dude!”
“Well then how don’t you know what a vagina feels like?” At this point, he and I were way behind all of the computer players.
“Because I don’t like girls.” He went back to concentrating on the game. His statement took a few moments to get through the haze of alcohol that surrounded my brain.
“You mean that you’re…” I glanced nervously at him and then back at the screen.
“Gay, yeah. Is that a problem?” he sounded slightly upset.
“No.” I still sounded slightly shocked. I hadn’t ever had anyone tell me that they were gay before. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware that people admitted things like that to people they had just met. Our conversation dried up and I soon found myself nodding off.
Riley offered to call it a draw and I gladly accepted.
“C’mon, I’ll show you where the guest bedroom is.” He led the way upstairs. The guest room was up a back staircase above the garage. It was a fairly large bedroom and it looked as though they used it to store random items that didn’t have anywhere else to go in the house. There was an exercise bike in one corner, a pile of half constructed wreaths beside the closet, and a box of old trophies next to the door.
Riley pulled a trash can from underneath the desk. “If you’re going to be sick, just hurk in this.”
I nodded and climbed into bed.
“Alright dude, I’ll be down on the couch in the basement if you need anything.” He turned to leave.
“There isn’t another guest room?”
“Nah this is the only one.”
“You don’t have to go sleep on the couch.”
“I can’t sleep in here with you dude.”
“How drunk are you right now?”
“Please?” I patted the other side of the bed.
He hesitated for a minute. “You sure?”
He shut the door and turned off the light before climbing in beside me.
We laid in silence for a few minutes. My head was starting to clear up a bit but I didn’t want to let on that it was. It was easier to talk when I could pretend that it was the booze doing the talking.
“Do you think I’m hot?” I asked nervously.
“Do you think I’m hot?”
He was silent for a moment. He obviously had heard me fine the first time but wasn’t expecting the question.
I had never really considered myself to be attractive. I was in good shape due to my hyperactive metabolism. It gave me a swimmer’s build. I was a fairly average height at just under six feet tall. My brown hair tended to look like a mop if it grew out but I didn’t like the way it looked when it was short so I was constantly battling with it. I had a few freckles that old women always seemed to dote over. But apparently my main selling point was my brown eyes. People usually described them as doe eyes. I learned at an early age that I could get out of trouble fairly easily by giving people the ‘innocent eyes’.
Riley looked at me for a moment, “Yeah, you are.” He said quietly. Butterflies started dancing in my stomach. My skin began to tingle. After I didn’t say anything for a while he added, “You don’t think I was trying anything funny when I was helping you get dressed do you?”
I thought back to earlier. He had clearly seen my ass but it didn’t seem like he had tried to see more and I had been facing away from him while getting dressed. “Nah man, you were just helping me out.”
There was clearly still a bit of booze in my system because I hardly hesitated in telling him, “You’re hot too.”
He was silent for a long time. He finally leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. The butterflies started in earnest now. I grabbed his shoulder before he could retreat back to his side of the bed. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was planning on doing but somehow I wasn’t surprised when I found myself kissing him. His lips were surprisingly soft and even though I’d never kissed anyone before, I found it very natural. After a minute or so he pushed me away gently.
“We can’t go any further.”
“Why not?” I was slightly out of breath.
“Because, you’ve been drinking and I don’t take advantage of people like that.”
“I’m not really drunk anymore.”
“Drunk people love to say that.”
“Really though, I’m not.”
“That’s fine. I believe you, but I’m still not going any further tonight. I’m not sure what you were hoping for but it isn’t going to happen. Sorry.”
“Ok...” my voice betrayed my disappointment.
“Are you even gay?”
“No!” my mouth reacted instinctively. After a second I added, “I don’t know. I’m not really sure.” I hoped that was a sufficient enough answer for him.
“See, you don’t really know what you want. That’s not something you decide after having some drinks.” I nodded in agreement but the look on my face said otherwise. He finally gave in a bit and pulled me over close to him.
“Just this, ok?”
“Ok.” I closed my eyes and basked in his warmth. I fell asleep wrapped in his arms.
2023.06.05 16:21 ABCDelicious1278 OPPO Find N2
Hey Everyone, just wondering if anyone is using/rocking an OPPO Find N2 like me So I had been using a Fold 3 and am totally on board with foldables(don't think I can go back to candy baslab phones again) and I was deciding what to get as I felt the Fold 4 was more of an iterative upgrade and while I loved my Fold I didn't like typing on it when it was closed as I felt like it was too tall/narrow which made typing not the best. Other phones I thought about were the Mate X2(too expensive), the Xiaomi Mix Fold 2(no flex mode which is important to me), and also the Vivo X Fold 2(kind of expensive). I was also thinking about the Pixel Fold but didn't want to pay $1999(512GB) so I decided to get an OPPO Find N2 and was able to pick it up for $1077 off Swappa. So these are my impressions of the Fold since having/using it for a little under a month:
Pros: I love the shortewider form factor when closed, for me it makes typing a lot easiebetter and I don't feel like I'm sacrificing anything when it's folded. The crease is significantly less noticeable on here compared to the Fold and when folded the device side completely flush unlike the Fold 3. I also don't know how to explain it but when closing/opening it just feels bettemore secure than compared to the Fold IMO. I also enjoy how light it is, and my hands/arms don't get tired from extended use like they did with the Fold when they are unfolded.
Cons: mainly the software. It's a China phone only so there's no Google on here, but it is easy to install Google Play store and everything runs fine. Also a lot of China Bloatware which again, can be removed from the phone. The first thing is, sometimes when unfolded an app won't fill up the whole screen and when you force it to it will rotate it the wrong way. Also on the Fold series you can split apps vertically/horizontally, you can only split them vertically on the OPPO. In addition on the Fold you can have three apps open simultaneously and change the size that each takes up, you can't do that on the OPPO Find N2(as far as I know). Minor annoyances, but not deal-breakers for me would be the lack of water resistance or wireless charging on the OPPO Find N2. Another one would be no pen support for it, but I never used that on the Fold 3 so it's fine for me. Some people would also say the cut off for the selfie camera interrupts the screen but that doesn't bother me. Hopefully Android 14 can fix some of the problems I listed.
Overall I am enjoying my time with the phone and may get the Pixel Fold when the price drops, the Pixel Fold 2(smaller bezels, pen support etc) or another phone. Anyways hopes this helps and I would love to hear if anyone else bought the phone and their experience with it. 📱📱♥️♥️♥️♥️
PS - Shameless plug of my OPPO Find N2 unboxing/first impressions video: https://youtube.com/watch?v=S84nf8QgOWQ&feature=share8
submitted by ABCDelicious1278
to Oppo [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 Willie777 The X-Men TAS Podcast: Batman - House and Garden
We have a double dose of incredible animation featuring our thoughts on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse and the kick off of season 2 of Batman TAS where we get the best Poison Ivy episode of the series! Join us as we discuss...
- A mildly spoiler filled chat on Across the Spider-Verse which diverges into our thought that all Marvel movies should be animated!
- Make sure to WATCH this episode of Batman TAS before listening to our breakdown, it's too good to have spoiled by us if you haven't seen it or don't remember!
- SO much noir in this episode of Batman, and it's the best kind of noir!
- How did Batman not think Poison Ivy would clock him skulking around the Gotham suburbs in the day-time!?
The X-Men TAS Podcast just opened a SECRET reddit group, join by clicking here!
We are also on Twitch sometimes… click here to go to our page
and follow and subscribe so you can join in on all the mysterious fun to be had! Also, make sure to subscribe to our podcast via Buzzsprout
and tell all your friends about it! Last but not least, follow Willie Simpson on Twitter
and please join our Facebook Group!
submitted by Willie777
to XMenTASpodcast [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:21 Zagaroth [No Need For A Core?] - CH 087: Dinner and a Treaty
Next >> Her escort returned, then led her into the main hall and towards the thrones, where he bowed to the king and queen as he introduced her. “Your Majesties, this is Lady Moriko, of the Sakiya Temple.” The hall was not terribly busy, but it was also the center point of business for the court, so there were plenty of people to see her being introduced and hear her name. She’d also spotted Princess Kagami, though she didn’t really have the opportunity to look around for the rest.
“It is a pleasure and honor to meet you, Your Majesties.” Moriko said to them as she curtsied. She’d practiced enough to not be awkward, but she’d always preferred bowing. Court rules were more formal than the rest of life however, and she had been given a recent education to make sure she got the basics right.
“Lady Moriko, it is good to put a face to one of the names I’ve been hearing so much about recently.” King Yoshihiro replied, giving a slight nod to acknowledge her introduction, signaling her escort to leave.
Queen Phaedra shot her husband an amused glance before leaning forward to give Moriko a warm smile. “I’ve heard much about you from my daughters, they seem quite taken with you. I am quite looking forward to talking with you over dinner tonight.” The queen’s fair appearance gave quite a bit of proof to Princess Kagami’s name, the eldest daughter was practically a mirror of her mother.
“There is some court business to attend to yet, but we will be joining you in our private dining hall shortly.” The king was about to continue when another male voice spoke up.
“Lady Moriko, perhaps I can escort you there and keep you entertained awhile?” The speaker was a young blonde man in his teens, though tall and unusually solidly built for his age, with a moderately tan complexion that contrasted with his fairer hair.
King Yoshihiro smiled slightly as he gestured toward the boy. “Lady Moriko, I should like to introduce you to Prince Gou, my youngest.”
Moriko gave the young prince a shallower curtsy than she’d given the king and queen as she considered how best to respond. “Ah, it is a pleasure to meet you, your highness.” Prince Gou’s smile was a touch too warm and eager to please, and Moriko wanted to make sure she defused any vague hopes quickly. She doubted that he had any specific ideas in his mind beyond wanting to show off and be admired, but the young could become over-focused quickly.
Then she spied Princess Kagami looking at her youngest brother with an expression Moriko was certain she’d worn herself, and the perspective change gave her inspiration. “And I would be happy to be escorted by such a dashing young man.” She pitched her voice to make sure that ‘dashing’ sounded more like ‘cute’ than ‘handsome’, and had to suppress a desire to laugh as she took the offered arm with a smile. “You remind me of my younger brother, he’s always so earnest. I do hope you are a better swordsman than him however, it wasn’t too long ago that he lost a spar to a rabbit actor. Admittedly, the rabbit was a dungeon creature, but he’d only been a three-foot-tall humanoid for a few weeks.”
The twitch in Gou’s expression told Moriko that her verbal combo had hit his ego, but the prince only briefly stiffened before he inclined his head. “Well, maybe I can visit your dungeon someday and test myself against the same actor, and we could see.” His smile still seemed genuine enough, just a bit less intense, and Kagami’s smirk looked satisfied, so Moriko was fairly certain that she’d struck the right balance. He got to treat her like another older sister, no more.
As he showed her the way to the dining hall, Moriko replied “Well, if you have a good showing, perhaps my husband or I could have a spar with you as well. Don’t forget that I am a disciple of the monastery.” Well, that got his interest focused, and the resulting conversation was more about martial techniques than anything else. He really did remind her of Galan, though more composed and broadly educated. They’d either be best friends or consider each other rivals. Though the difference could be hard to tell sometimes.
The dining hall was maybe not quite as big as her family’s home back in Riverbridge, but they also had a larger home than average for their town. It not only held the large dining table but had enough space around it for servants to pass by each other while pushing carts, with furniture decorating the walls as well. If this was the private dining hall, the banquet hall had to be bigger than her monastery’s dining hall.
The rest of the royal family filtered in shortly after their arrival and Moriko finally got to meet the heir, Prince Ailwin, as well as the royal spouses; Prince Zarod, Princess Amhis, and Princess Catherine. Princess Tiriana’s fiance, Lord Ilimater, was currently in his homeland. He would acquire the title of Prince as well, once they were married.
There were a lot of names and faces to remember, even with having met the royal princesses two days ago and having studied the notes her master had given her. Prince Zarod was a little taller than Moriko was while she was wearing these boots, with curly, light brown hair that was kept barely tamed. He seemed affable enough and clearly doted on his wife, but to Moriko’s eye any apparent softness was an illusion, he had a solid sort of confidence that suggested he was reasonably capable at the least.
Princess Amhis was the least physically imposing member of the royal family. She was dark-haired with dusky skin, and barely taller than Kazue but not as slender, which led to a slight excess of curves. However, she was energetic to the point of effervescence, always ready to join any conversation while managing to keep track of everything going on in the room, and broke smoothly away when she was needed by one of the servants. She was quite the contrast against her much taller husband, but they also fitted against each other charmingly when she had a moment to rest in his arms.
Princess Catherine on the other hand was like a narrower, sharper version of her wife, Princess Kitiara. Both tall and blond, Catherine was more of a ‘rapier’ compared to Kitiara’s ‘broadsword’. Comparing them to weapons seemed apt, as neither took any care to hide their military bearing.
Moriko found herself swept into different conversations, not quite guided along a set flow so much as the center of a concerted effort to ensure that she was entertained and occupied until the King and Queen arrived. Following a bit of advice from Mordecai, she took the time during these conversations to make sure she complimented each piece of jewelry she’d been loaned for the occasion, borrowing some of her terminology from Kazue and Mordecai but keeping her compliments sincere. Her favorite was the necklace, a string of spectacular blue opal beads woven into a rope of gold threads, the beads flashing with occasional hints of fiery reds and yellows.
She hadn’t been certain where they were going to seat her, but she was only a little surprised to find herself seated between Queen Phaedra and Princess Kagami. Her new status as a Lady certainly didn’t put her there, but as an ‘ambassador’ and a specifically invited guest for a private meal it made more sense.
The dinner that was served was closer to a feast, and it came with the difficulty of restraint. Moriko was certainly not a messy or noisy eater, but eating in careful, small bites at a relatively slow rate was not the same as normal polite eating. It made talking during the meal easier, but it also made eating take at least twice as long, and Moriko tended to eat quite a lot. The conversation was kept social during the meal as well, ‘business’ talk waited until after dessert had been finished and the table cleared, then a selection of lightweight snacks and drinks was placed. The serving staff filtered out, leaving more items covered on the sideboards, but one new person entered. A young man in scribe’s robes, carrying a small portable desk and a couple of folders full of paper as well as a wax tablet and steel scribe for taking notes.
“Well, I suppose it's time to get down to business then,” Phaedra said softly. The scribe set up his desk and materials a discrete distance behind them. “We would like an official relationship with your family and dungeon. The very first thing we’ll need is an official name for the territory.”
Moriko took a moment to consult with Mordecai and Kazue, who had been spending a fair amount of time on the idea already. “Well, there have been a few thoughts. ‘the twin core dungeon’ was proposed, but dismissed due to possibly creating too strong an association with The Twins, and the same for being called the Kuiccihan dungeon. There weren’t any other descriptive title sort of names that anyone strongly wanted, so going back to geography, we’ve decided on being The Azeria Mountain Dungeon.” She smiled slightly. “Riverbridge is about the same distance as Azeria Forest, but I have to admit it doesn't have quite as strong a name."
King Yoshihiro chuckled. “Should I take offense that you wish to keep some distance from the Kingdom? No, no, I understand. Remaining distinct like that is for the best, it avoids confusion. Hmm.” He gave a thoughtful frown for a moment. “The mountain range itself is the Raincatcher Mountains, but as far as I know nothing is keeping the mountain and its foothills from being named Azeria Mountain. Assuming it doesn’t trip any existing treaties, we have no problems acknowledging that name officially.”
“Speaking of,” Moriko replied, “Could you go into some more detail on that? It’s not exactly something Kazue or I paid a lot of attention to, and Mordecai was rather out of the loop.”
Prince Ailwin took the lead here. “The basics are not complicated, though the treaty itself goes into a lot of specifics, exceptions, and conditionals. Throughout the mountain range are many tribes and small nations, plus a dwarven kingdom deep below. Most are considered Independent and are simply in a trade agreement mixed with a mutual defense treaty, as well as delineating their rights to travel freely as individuals inside of Kuicchan. Most of the burden of defense is left to the kingdoms, but the tribes can not let hostile forces traverse their territories without some level of challenge, unless clearly outmatched. In addition to those, other tribes are more closely tied to us, and have the status of Vassal State. They rule themselves independently but follow all of our applicable laws. Individuals of those tribes do not owe taxes to Kuiccihan, but the tribe as a whole owes some sort of duty to the kingdom.” He smiled slightly at that. “As most tribes who chose to be that independent and prefer the mountains also tend to have unique traits or talents, they also tend to be suitable for training the Marked, and that availability is usually accepted in lieu of tribute.” The prince paused a moment before he continued. “There are also some other arrangements involved with that, but it starts to get complicated, and they don’t affect your dungeon, so I think it best if we skip it for now.”
Moriko pursed her lips thoughtfully as she spoke with her spouses, then turned her attention back to the royals in front of her. “Alright, so what form of relationship are you seeking with us?” The princesses had talked about it with her the other night, but this occasion was stating it more formally.
“Something in between,” the King answered, “Namely, an Associated State. You would have more duty to us than the independent tribes, but the laws of our land do not automatically apply in your territory, unlike the vassal states. You would have a more complete sovereignty, just a formalized duty to be allies. In exchange for this, you gain our protection, and while our laws would not apply to you or yours inside the dungeon’s territory, they do apply to any of our citizens who are in your territory, and should you have grievance against a citizen of Kuiccihan who has left the dungeon, we can either judge the citizen by our laws or extradite them to your territory, depending upon your preferences.”
From there it became a matter of negotiating the fine points and then reviewing the finalized treaty after the scribe used his notes to edit the papers with an enchanted quill. Once everyone agreed on the finalized version, the scribe brought out a scroll case and a small stamp. He stamped each of the pages in order, then tapped the scroll case. The papers merged and flowed into a single sheet of paper as the scrolls case opened up, creating a single continuous document that then wrapped itself into the scroll case. All that was left was to sign and swear oaths to the intent and purpose of the treaty. When completed, the enchantments on the scroll case finished activating and the contents were fixed into place. There was no more editing that treaty, if anything needed to be changed it would have to be a whole new treaty written, witnessed, and signed.
It went a lot easier than it would have if Moriko didn’t have Mordecai and Kazue sitting in her head. Moriko didn’t have to process what she was reading, so she could just quickly scan over the lines and let the cores do the memorization and double checking everything was written correctly. Mordecai was the focus of analyzing it, given his experience, but Kazue’s passion for reading made it easier to take all the information quickly as she was used to reading fast.
It was late into the evening when everything was done, and much of the dessert and snack foods were gone. The King, Queen, Princess Kagami, Prince Ailwin, and his wife Princess Amhis were the only ones involved for most of the process, the rest had relaxed into a more lightweight socialization mode, coming and going as they pleased, though occasionally offering thoughts and opinions.
“Well, one more thing needs to be done tonight,” Queen Phaedra said with a smile. “Give us a moment, we need everyone back here, but they shouldn’t have gone far.”
<<Previous Start Next >>
My Discord if you would like to talk about the book or see what else I am up to (I also try to stream once a week, but that's strictly hobby level).
My Patreon if you want to support me directly.
Also to be found on Royal Road.
$3 Patreon: Early chapters, lore excerpts $5 Patreon: Short Stories $10 Patreon: New stories not published anywhere else (Until after I finish this story at least)
submitted by Zagaroth
to redditserials [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:20 ThrowRA13582057105 My bf (M26) and I (F27) run out of things to say. Missing connection
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. We're mostly long-distance, as he works out of state and is only close to my hometown one week per month. The rest of the time we stay in touch through calls.
We are both very shy and introverted, but around the right people we both open up socially. We met online and connected quite easily on our shared interests through text, but after we met face to face, things seem to have become more awkward. It seems harder to keep a conversation going, even through texts.
Now that we're together and we have seen each other quite a few times, I do feel like our interactions become easier each time, but I still find myself hastingly trying to find topics to talk about when things fall quiet, and the conversations bleeding dry soon after. If I don't start conversations, he usually doesn't either. He is more shy than I am, and I do see how wonderful he is under all of his shyness, but it makes me feel like I'm missing a deeper connection at times. We're unable to keep deeper topics going. We both hate small talk, but we often resort to that because we run out of other things to talk about. He also doesn't really ask me personal questions (I think it's likely he's afraid of prying).
I'm sure it's a matter of time and he is worth being patient for and really giving it a proper shot, but I really struggle with this.
Does anyone have experience with this from either end of the situation? How do I make it easier to talk to my boyfriend, and create a space for him where he feels comfortable too?
submitted by ThrowRA13582057105
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:20 yuhmum05 Help please i don’t know what to do
Last night, Me 17, my 11 yr old brother my mum and my dad were in the car going 100 down the freeway it was late at night. my mum and i were arguing with my dad who wouldn’t stop accusing us of something and wouldn’t back down. My dad then pulled over on the side of the road and told us he was going to get out and walk in-front of a car. I grabbed him screaming and crying hysterically. he didn’t end up getting out but he continued to scream and yell at my mum who was screaming back.
Once home we had snuck out to my car to leave because we didn’t feel safe. i started going out of the drive way but dad came running at me. i forgot to lock the door so he ripped it open and grabbed me and took the key out of the car. He then drove off. I was crying begging my mum to let me leave (mum and i have many arguments like this one) she kept telling me to come inside so we can talk. I refused and kept saying “i don’t feel safe can i please take you car and go somewhere”. She refused saying that she hadn’t started this and hadn’t done anything to me. I then asked for her keys and she said she didn’t know where they are.
Dad had taken all the keys for the cars so i couldn’t leave and get help.
Dad is back now and he apologised with a “sorry” and now they expect me to move on but the truth is i’m terrified and i’m sick of this never ending cycle.
context: i’ve had a really rough relationship with my parents since i can remember. They constantly fight over everything and anything with each other and with me and my little brother. I won’t get into details but the involvement of child protection services has been threatened multiple times, i’ve had to call police, and i had to go into hospital, if that clears things up.
My psychologists over the years since i was 13 have been pleading for my parents to get help, my parents in response have prohibited me from seeing them anymore.
i went into hospital last year for a couple weeks and have been in cahms since September. My psych at cahms has been the most important person in my life these past few months. she has done everything possible to help me with dealing with my parents. She’s tried family therapy and for them to get therapy but they refuse. She’s been tiptoeing over calling Cps because she doesn’t want to cause me and my brothers futher grief. Because my parents are refusing therapy my time at cahms is coming to an end.
My psych has done everything in her power to keep me as long as possible but she is now unable to push it back further. I have 2 sessions left over the next 4 weeks.
I don’t know what to do anymore she has been the only person who knows about this situation though my nanna has had to come up a few times to take me and my brother to her house to get away but that was a few months ago now and i couldn’t bare how much pain she has been put through having to see and hear what’s happening in my house. So i told her it’s stopped.
I’m lost i don’t know how to deal anymore and it’s not getting better if anything it’s getting worse.
I need to protect my brother he’s only a baby and this is unfair on him. I’m trying to comfort him and help him, I essentially parent him but it’s not the same. And he knows it. It’s breaking me.
So please i just need some advice should i tell my psychologist??
submitted by yuhmum05
to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:20 deer-at-the-keyboard [F4F Writing M Character] Seeking Literate Partners!
Hi! You can call me Storm! I'm 25+ and the mom of a loud and demanding cat.
I’m a multiple paragraphs/novella style writer (3-4+ paragraphs). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together.
I only do MxF (with myself
in the female role). I don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along.
- 21+ partners only
- An excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies)
- Enthusiasm to chat about our character and ship, how to crush them and then gushing over fluffy moments. I love crying over characters and what the heck they’re doing. I want my heart ripped from my chest from angst, then feeling like it’s going to burst from overwhelming cuteness. I want us to love these characters and the world we create. I want to make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, graphics, and toss headcanons back and forth until late at night.
- Have an idea for a scene? Found a picture that inspired you? Send it to me! Be invested when it comes to plotting/worldbuilding. There’s nothing worse than receiving one sentence in reply to two paragraphs of ideas, or having a doormat partner who says “sure” to whatever I ask. Building ideas one on top of the other, watching them snowball into amazing plot threads brings me joy. But having to pull plot ideas like I’m pulling teeth makes me think you’re not interested, and I will lose interest in return. Don't make me carry the entire story.
- While I'd prefer real life face claims, I'd also be open to using realistic art if you're uncomfortable with real life. Though I draw the line at anime/cartoon style art.
If you've made it this far, thank you! You won't be disappointed in writing with me and I try to reply daily if I can. Let me know if you're going to be inactive or can’t continue and I’ll do the same for you. Note that I have anxiety regarding that subject but I’m trying to get better about it.
If you suddenly stop replying ic and ooc, I'll drop the story after 2 attempts of gauging interest spaced a week apart. But feel free to message me if you want to pick the story back up again, even months later. Favorite Genres:
- Modern Fantasy/Supernatural (Werewolves, shapeshifters, etc)
- Romance (No slice of life please)
(I have a ton of original plot ideas but I didn't want to make the ad too long by listing them here. I've also been craving some sci-fi/Star Wars related as of late) Fandoms (OCs only) Star Wars
, Stranger Things
, Mercy Thompson Series
, True Blood
, The Last of Us
Our characters will be 18+. I use discord to write. If we click, I’d be happy to give out that information over PM. Please be detailed if you do send me a message, let me know why you chose to contact me. Seeing only "hey do you wanna rp?" with nothing else is a guaranteed way to turn me off.
I look forward to hearing from you!
(Please don't comment, I only respond to chat messages or DMs)
submitted by deer-at-the-keyboard
to discordroleplay [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:20 ThrowRaLobsterCone BF (32M) is accusing me (28M) of cheating
Thank you for reading. I’m currently on holiday and I have bad Wi-Fi connection so I hope this post will be able to be posted which is why I have to go immediately to the point.
I’ve been dating my BF, John, for 2,5 years, living together for 1,5 years.
As soon as we moved in together, John changed a lot. He struggled with depression, was often very mean to be (calling me names, insulting my capacities in bed, my appearance, my character). He also refused to come to any family events of mine, often telling me that they weren’t fun and throwing a whole fit about it on the way there.
During all of this, last summer, John told me he wanted an open relationship without rules, which I didn’t. So he got very mean about that and just kept it too ‘If we ever feel attracted to someone we should go for it and explore that’.
Starting December 2022, John became a bit more himself. Thanks to seeing a therapist and working on himself, he still repeated that if we ever felt attracted to someone else, that we should explore it and often talked about how he was not jealous at all.
In February 2023, I joined a gay soccer team with some friends. One of the guys, Ben, and I got along immediately. I told John, who was immediately jealous because he knew Ben was my type, going so far as throw fits about it and being very jealous. So I stopped going, however I was still in a messenger group with my friends from the soccer team and Ben. Sometimes we posted memes in this, all very innocent.
In March, my mom got a diagnosis that she was dying. On the day that I got back from the hospital, John announced that he has been applying for jobs in Italy, cause he doesn’t like the weather where we live (Germany) this upset me a lot. In the meanwhile John was still very jealous about Ben and called it suspected that I stopped going to the soccer games.
We argued a lot and John and I agreed on taking some distance from each other. He wanted me to move out cause he preferred to stay at our place alone to think while I had to go back to my ill mother who lives 3 hours away.
During this period of no contact with John, my soccer friends and Ben were there for me, they texted, called and really cared a lot.
When my mother was taken to the hospital, I texted John, who immediately asked me to come back. But upon arrival he was cold and told me that it bothered him that now his thinking proces was bothered by me coming back. This hurt me and while he did try, I went back home.
Ben and the others were very caring and still called me, they gave me advice about John and my mom’s situation.
With Ben in the friend group we started to make jokes a lot and we talked a lot. But both of us were in relationships and we talked a lot about that too.
At a certain moment it seemed like John and I would break up and Ben even helped me find houses.
However things took an unexpected turn and John and I tried to work things out. I had told John about the fact that Ben was my type and that I had felt attracted to him. Ben asked me to cut contacted with him which I was already doing.
So I told Ben everything. He told me that he d an had felt attracted too but that this could be just through texting and that he had sometimes wondered what it would be like to date me. I told him that I had thought about that too but that I was with John. And we decided to cut off contact.
A few days later Ben texted me asking to meet up to talk about it, cause maybe we could just be friends. I agreed an when we met up, we talked and decided to just not be in contact cause there was an attraction still.
I did not immediately tell John about having seen Ben but when I did, 2 weeks later, he asked me to block him everywhere, which I did.
My BF accuses me now of ‘cheating’ which I don’t agree with since he was all for open relations etc and I never acted on that. Could you give me your advice ?
Tl;dr: BF (32M) accuses me (28M) of cheating, how to move on from this?
submitted by ThrowRaLobsterCone
to relationships [link] [comments]