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2013.03.12 05:41 dochobbes Ask Gay Men

If you have a question for men who have sex with men...well this would be a good place to ask it. All post titles must be in the form of a question - including proper sentence structure.

2011.06.13 01:56 Drug Nerds

For the discussion of recreational pharmacology. No medical questions. No drug interaction questions. No questions about personal consumption. All posts must *demonstrate* what research you have already done.

2012.01.27 11:24 machinesoflovingrace - For gaysian (gay asian) stuff

A subreddit for LGBTQ+ Asians by LGBTQ+ Asians!

2023.06.05 14:23 greeendoorknob Need help with finance, badly need advice!

Hi, i just turned 18 and i'm interested in entering the stock market and investing. I don't know where to start and i only have ₱1,000 on my wallet right now which is super hilarious, i don't even know if sapat ba 'to or if pwede ba 'tong palaguin hahaha.
I wanna learn more about financial literacy takot ako maging ignorant and be poor my whole life. Please give me advice, list down everything i need to know and i mean EVERYTHING!
submitted by greeendoorknob to Philippines [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 TiagoRM85 Wildlands servers on purpose?

Hello all. Im Portuguese so feel free to correct me.
This game always had servers connection problems, but if we insisted we would get into the game. Im talking about ghost war ( PvP mode ).
But lately and this has been some weeks now i just cant get into any game. Im talking about PS4 servers. I search ( and the activity its médium ) as its always been and no game found. Ubisoft doesnt fix nothing, what make me think and come to this conclusion.
Its Ubisoft " ruining/Messing " their servers on purpose so that Wildlands players move to a new game? They already got a ton of money, so having their servers active only make them lose money.
submitted by TiagoRM85 to ubisoft [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 CaraPrincess2007 MZ- Changing system fonts using script calls?

MZ- Changing system fonts using script calls?
Basically I have a project loaded with ODW's Multilanguage System plugin and based on what the plugin's dev advised to me on how to mimic locale change using the plugin (see their second reply to me, at page 3 (as of now)), I have made this Common Event to detect the language of the game (as configured via the plugin) and then change the font based on the language detected:

The common event I set up.
The script calls within the conditional branches are taken from this list (image extracted from this forum post):

The script call reference list. Note the gameSystem.mainFontFace and gameSystem.numberFontFace script calls (these are what I use for that common event)

When I playtested the game, nothing happened (the font didn't change based on the language detected (the language I am having problems with fonts the most is Vietnamese (and the character set for that language going haywire is the main reason why I created the above common event))).

Am I doing it incorrectly?
If so, then what is the way to fix it in order to make the event work?
Thanks in advance!
submitted by CaraPrincess2007 to RPGMaker [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 Both-Lie5316 coming off depo shot

my next shot is the end of June, after school ends. i am excited and nervous to be off of this hell. the doctor started me on it when i was 14. not a gynecologist, just a doctor. a pediatrician. never warned me about any side effects. only told me i might lose my period and i did. now, im 17 and i want to come off of it to just give my body a break. what can i expect coming off of it? i have panic disorder and health anxiety so i am very nervous about withdrawals. help!!
submitted by Both-Lie5316 to birthcontrol [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 big_cock_69420 My best friend just admitted to me that he might be unfaithful to his girlfriend

I'm gonna give context:
My best friend (16m, let's call him Arthur) sent me (16m) a message on how he might be unfaithful to his girlfriend(15f) as he met a nicer looking girl while he was hiking at the Åland Islands (we all live in Finland, yes), and now i'm thinking that i am in fact quite good friends with Arthur's girlfriend, and I want to keep it like that but then i'd have to snitch on Arthur and possibly cause him to escalate the situation
Should I snitch on Arthur or not? Or what else should I do? I have told Arthur to not even think about cheating on his girlfriend with some random swedish girl but idk if he listened
Edit: I have a screenshot as proof too
submitted by big_cock_69420 to teenagers [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 galadrielgal23 Posting my story.

I’m relatively new to my sobriety journey but it’s something I’ve tried multiple times and failed at. This time it’s going to stick, I know it. Here’s my story..
I’ve always known and been told I have what they call an “addictive personality”. I get addicted to things very easily, they consume me.. I never drank until I was 20 and when I did, I didn’t know the word “moderation”.. there have been so many instances in my mind where I got so drunk I embarrassed myself, I cringe when I think of some of the memories people have of me..around the age of 25 I decided I needed to cut back and drink more “responsibly” (this came after an episode of day drinking for days on end) and went to what people consider normal (a glass of wine every evening, drinking on the weekends, etc)
Fast forward 5 years later, im 30 now and I was drowning myself in things to hide my pain, hide my anxiety, I just didn’t want to feel anything bad so I covered it up with unhealthy coping mechanisms….about 2 weeks ago I got a toothache, I looked up online how to deal with tooth pain…I saw all the normal stuff but I guess my brain saw “shot of whiskey” and thought “aha that one”….well one shot turned into 5 which turned into multiple a day and bottles of wine, and buzzballz….it was about 8 days of drinking all together, day and night, it was bad….I’ve sugarcoated it a bit to my family because I don’t want them to worry but I’ll be real with you all…it was bad.
Well, last Tuesday morning I woke up shaking all over and obviously in withdrawals…and I said to myself “oh hell no, I’m not starting a cycle” so I didn’t drink, I didn’t take a shot that morning I didn’t drink anything all day…and I felt like I was dying. I was in FULL withdrawals, I was shaking so badly all over my hands couldn’t hold anything steady, my heart rate was about 160, and I was sweating all over, I went to the ER to get checked out and was sent home 7 hours later..they never gave me anything but I guess being on a monitor and withdrawing in the ER was better than doing it at home. I got back home and after about 4 days of hell I felt like a new woman. I got the tooth pulled that 4th day and now I’m looking back on the whole thing and realizing I can’t ever touch alcohol again. I can’t, it’s not a choice for someone like me…it will ruin my life eventually if I pick it back up… so today makes 6 days of the rest of my life sober. I plan on being honest with people and tell them “I can’t handle alcohol” when they ask me why I’m not drinking… it’s the truth. I can’t handle it and that’s okay, I don’t want to handle it ever again. My rock bottom could’ve been so much worse, but thank God it wasn’t. I caught this before it spiraled too badly and I have seen enough to know if I ever pick it up again the next spiral down will be even worse, alcohol is like that, it has no mercy.
I plan on attending my first AA meeting when I get back to my home state (I am staying with my parents right now to make my mental health better and to get on the right track) but I know once I’m alone and back in my normal routine it will get difficult, which is why I plan on attending regularly as soon as I can. I need a support group, I need a busy schedule, and I need to start leaning into discomfort without trying to drown it. This group and a few others along with some TikTok accounts have helped me so much over the last week. But I just wanted to share my story to let people know that alcohol abuse and addiction doesn’t always look like years and years of spiraling, sometimes it looks like completely normal consumption that leads to abuse and let me tell you, withdrawals are hell..I never want to put my body in a place it has to detox like that again.
submitted by galadrielgal23 to alcoholicsanonymous [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 Mr-Safology Beginner upgrade from a Penny Nickel?

Hi, I'm Saf.
It's my first time posting here.
Around 10 years ago, I bought and used a 27" plastic cruiser board, Nickel. Well, I went down hill and ended up with a few deep cuts, a trip to the A&E. I haven't picked it up since.
Now, a man in my mid 20's, I have the courage to pick up this hobby again.
I'm looking for a cruiser board, that I can cruise everywhere. To town, streets, between transport etc. I won't do any tricks on it, the odd Ollie to dodge obstacles and stepping onto the pavement. I'm one of those that buys once, keeps it for that function. Then later on, enhance the same board and buy another board for other functions (such as tricks etc). Yes, I'm a collector. I also stick to one shop, such as PMT for guitars.
I have had a look at options. Dinghy is too expensive in UK. I even have one in mind, but I want a cruiser board that is 8"+width (my shoe size is ~9) and length around 27-30". I'm only 5ft5-6 in height. Kick tail and a nose so I can Ollie. Price range ~£100. I let you experts lead me to the right board for my needs. Cheers guys!
submitted by Mr-Safology to cruiserboarding [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 IsopodConstant9569 My Fiancé (26M) left me (26F) 8 months after proposing saying that I didn't do anything wrong but he doesn't see a future with me anymore

We just celebrated our 7 year anniversary and he had proposed about 8 months ago. We were planning on buying a house so we had moved into his parents house a few weeks after the engagement to save up and because our rental property lease was up. A couple months after that he had just started a new job in the city and that's when cracks stated to show. We were commuting in together but because his parents lived a little far out we were losing a lot of sleep with these commutes and not only that, he started to lose a lot more patience I think just being around his parents all the time - I think he felt like he had lost a lot of his independence. The purchase of the house was also taking a lot longer than we expected which was also taking a toll on the both of us because we just really wanted to move to get our lives back. We spoke about and it was difficult for the both of us but we were kind of struggling together so I was never truly worried that we were going to break up. We did start to fight a little more but we always figured things out and still wanted to just focus on the future. But then about 4/5 months into his new job he tells me that he has a crush at someone at work and that there was a conversation where they were discussing who they would sleep with in the office and they both said each other. I was a little taken aback but he assured me that there was nothing to worry about and as we both had dealt with crushes before I wasn't too worried. But then more started to happen with this girl. She was in a long term relationship too which put me at ease but there was one night that he stayed over at hers after a work do because it would have been difficult for him to get home (I didn't have an issue because I trusted him) and after that night she was apparently super cold and mean to him. He was DISTRAUGHT I had never seen him this upset about the "potential loss of a friend" and so I had to talk to him a lot to help him through this as I thought it was just his anxiety getting the better of him. But then she came to him apologising for the coldness and basically told him that it had "messed with her head" the night he stayed over so then, the first betrayal, he told her that he also felt the same way but wanted to keep things as they were at work. He didn't properly close the door on her until after we had discussed it ourselves which really hurt because he couldn't even see why he was playing with fire. I didn't tell him to cut contact or anything, I was actually trying to help him figure out how he could still be friends with her without it becoming anything more. But then after he closed the door on her saying that he didn't want anything to happen between them, they ended up getting closer at work and his feelings started to develop. During this time we were trying to plan the wedding, we were sorting out the invites and were hoping to send them off within a month or so. But whenever we sat down to sort out the wedding he would get super stressed and so I asked him what was going on and he said he was starting to have doubts and he was worried about his feelings for this girl. These conversations about doubts etc went on for a few weeks but I always tried to reassure him that doubts were normal and that actually I had had most of the thoughts that he was having and I had come through the other side. I had also had a crush at someone at work which highlighted to me some aspects that I didn't like about our relationship but then we/I worked through them and I thought we were in a much better place. I told him about my crush at the time but didn't tell him to the full extent about my doubts of the relationship because I have anxiety so didn't want to talk about them until I was sure because I didn't want to ruin what we had. But then I had come out the other side and was super happy with my choice so I was trying to tell him that he just needs to make a conscious choice about who he wants (I was presuming he still wanted me) and then set the appropriate boundary with this new girl so that he can still be friends but we would be committed to each other. We had lots of conversations about how love was a choice and that commitment was a choice and we usually ended those conversations saying that we ofc want to still be together and that he was choosing us and me. And I believed him - I always asked him to be totally honest even if it was difficult to say so that it wouldn't eat him up and I always gave him the space to not judge his true feelings etc so yes I believed him. But then about a week ago he comes home after a night out where he had gone to dinner with this girl and another friend from work and just tells me that he doesn't think he can marry me anymore. It turned out that she was still super into him and had left her boyfriend (who was supposedly abusive so probably for the best) but wanted to be my fiancé. And he told her that basically he was confused but has feelings for her too. And then they shared an intimate moment of holding hands as if they were a couple. This was all devastating to hear but the only thing I needed to know was what did he want - me or her. And thus began the longest week of my life. He couldn't choose between us and kept making up his mind back and forth which was so painful because every time he would say he wants us to get back to where we were he just seemed so distant and was basically thinking of her the whole time. We had a weekend away planned together so we thought it was a good idea to go on that to salvage our relationship but he was still in turmoil about his decision I was just in tears the entire time we were there. So we get back home and he finally says that he chooses me 100% and that he's going to work on us to get us back but I could see it in his eyes and the almost resentment he had towards me that he still didn't know what he wanted. So we decided to give each other space for a few days so he could stop being distracted and start to focus on us. After no contact for 2/3 days he says that he's found his truth and comes to me and says that he's not leaving me for her but he's leaving me because he doesn't see a future with me anymore. He says that he feels that we had everything he wanted but that there was something missing but nothing he could tangibly tell me of and that he's been putting off these thoughts/doubts for a long time even before the proposal.
So now I feel so lost and broken because in my mind we were a team we always tackled everything together and I still don't understand how he was sure enough to propose to me 8 months ago and saw the life he wanted with me but now absolutely nothing. I refuse to believe that this girl had nothing to do with it because despite him saying that he's not leaving me for her, he had reinitiated contact with her over the week where we were giving each other space, and just 24 hours after we broke up when I went back to his parents house to start packing up, he leaves the house and spends about 5 hours with the new girl. He said that it was none of my business because we had broken up but it just felt like he threw me away so easily and had no respect left for the relationship we had. He said that he still loves and cares for me and that he was very ashamed of how this all turned out because he told me that I had done nothing wrong but he just seems like a completely different person to me now. I can't see the person I fell in love with anymore and it breaks my heart. He also said that he still wants to be friends in the future after a long period of no contact so we can move on from each other but I don't think I can just from how much he has hurt me and how quickly it feels that he threw me away and the 7 years we were together. I think he is definitely going to regret his decision of leaving me but I think with the damage done and how clearly he says he is thinking I don't think it will be any time soon enough to ever make it work between us again. I am in so much pain and hurt and he says he is too but i still don't think I have properly processed everything that's happened because I was so happy with us just 2 weeks ago. Maybe I was being delusional too but I just still can't believe that we were planning our lives together and now it's just gone. I don't know why I needed to post this but I just needed to put my story out there because I'm still so confused about what happened with us because I truly thought he was the one and that I could always trust him.
I think we did get together too young (we were both 19) and so I think we didn't learn what kind of life we individually wanted so I think he feels lost because of that and the stress of commitment brought out a lot more of these doubts. But then I still don't know why he proposed when I didn't ask at all for it and he was also the one keen to buy a place together. I suggested that maybe we should live separately for a while and just go back to dating so we could figure out how we actually wanted to live our lives (together and separately) but he said that his heart just wasn't in it anymore. Because of how quickly I feel this all happened I honestly refuse to believe that he's not leaving me for her but he's just not seeing it himself yet. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore because I don't think he ever wants to get the life we planned together back.
TLDR - My fiancé breaks up with me 8 months after proposing saying that he doesn't see a future with me anymore. During those 8 months we were living at his parents, trying to plan the wedding, trying to buy a place and he developed a crush at work. He says he still loves me but there's something missing and insists that he's not leaving me for her but I don't see how it could be any other way.
submitted by IsopodConstant9569 to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 AutoModerator Here's How To WATCH “The God Man” Documentary Movie 2023 Online Free

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submitted by AutoModerator to TheGodManBmw [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 chronic_pain_queen Better than menthol patches

My coworker recommended this to peppermint-based roll-on one day when I had a bad migraine at work. Could also be found at an Indian grocery store (I believe), but there aren't many Indian establishments near me, so I got it on Amazon. HIGHLY RECOMMEND
DO NOT GET IT IN YOUR EYES !!!! Start with a little bit then work your way up. Instant relief regardless.
submitted by chronic_pain_queen to migraine [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 BigDumbGreenMong Promoting an open mic

I started running an open mic in a local bar, but the venue isn't doing any promotion at all, other than occasional posts on their FB page which has few fans.
I'm not getting any money for this, but I like running it because it's good to have a night close to where I live where I can try out my own material and network with other acts. I really need to figure out how to get more of an audience in because right now nobody is showing up, and acts are becoming less willing to do the night because it's a little out of the city-centre where most open mic are.
The bar is in the suburb of a big city (London) - right next to a busy train station, and within walking distance of a lot of residential streets, so I feel like it shouldn't be impossible to get at least a handful of audience members every week.
I've just posted a flyer on a few local "What's On" groups on FB, and set it up as a free event on EventBrite, but does anybody have any other tips? I don't really have any budget, so I'm looking for free/almost-free ways to promote this.
submitted by BigDumbGreenMong to Standup [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 butraura I have no idea how to talk to a doctor about my symptoms

Hi there. I’ll provide the information below but basically, I don’t have a family doctor (I will be looking into getting one soon but regardless, I don’t currently have one), so the only place that has my medical history is this one walk-in clinic and the hospital. But like the title reads, I don’t legitimately don’t know how to explain my issues to a doctor in order to get help.
I’m 26F, overweight, have GERD, take 2 doses of 40mg Pantaprazole a day.
Beginning around 11 years ago (when I was 15), very very infrequently, I would sometimes get this weird sudden sensation in my lips and tongue that was kind of pins and needle-y. But it was brief, and happened so infrequently that I wasn’t worried about it. Whenever it happened, it stayed small, uneventful, and happened to my lips and tongue. The next part is the beginning of my problem because I don’t remember at all when it started to get worse. But the last couple months (MAYBE?) it has happened far more often, sometimes 3+ times a day, and usually at least once, and the tingling sensation has begun to spread up my face sort of like the Joker smile, and will irritate my ears and make them itchy right in the ear drum and won’t stop for a minute or two.
So I’ve noticed that this happens when I stand up really quickly, so I thought maybe it’s a blood pressure thing. Maybe I have hypertension, maybe I need to get checked out for that (as I said I am largely overweight and my diet is Not Great lol). But sometimes it happens when I’m not really doing anything.
Something else that happens now (again, I legitimately don’t remember when it started), is that when I have these little episodes, I get this little ring or spot in my vision in my left eye and my head feels fuzzy - but I do NOT have any loss of my faculties, I have no issues with my brain function. I am aware of everything that happens and I can talk and function through it it just feels horribly annoying and makes looking at anything scary because of the spot on my vision.
So then I thought, maybe it’s because of staring at my tv screen or phone screen? But I don’t wear glasses, my vision is fine, and this was never a problem before.
So my brain has been racking itself for any possible explanations, and all I’ve come up with are: - high blood pressure / hypertension (The only reason I’m not 100% convinced it’s this is because when I was in the hospital in the beginning of April [for GERD related stuff, not my current problem], they took my blood pressure like ten times and no one indicated to me that I had problems) - brain tumor? (Dramatic but it could be?) - seizure disorder (Also dramatic because I don’t get seizures but it’s entirely possible to have tiny ones that really present as seizures right?) - a developing eye problem?
And obviously I know better than to believe everything on the internet, but in this case, the only thing the internet tells me is that it’s haloes or floaters, which I don’t think is the case because that would be less problematic I’d think.
So with all of that being said, I don’t know how to explain this to a doctor. Walk-in clinics don’t really have the patience for a long winded story about my problems. In my experience if they can’t write you a prescription and send you on your way they want nothing to do with it.
So please, tell me your thoughts, or give me advice on how to advocate for my health?
submitted by butraura to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 Puzzleheaded_Cup_292 What constitutes an affair and grounds for separation or divorce?

These past few months I have had a gut feeling that something wasn't right in my marriage. My wife started to work nights at a retail store since October and I felt some distance growing between us.
She started losing weight, and dressing and wearing make up more and more. She more so than not denied intercourse. She then stopped wanting to have a second baby because she lost all this weight and didn't want to get fat again.
She would spend the time at home when I was home usually in another room, or just being preoccupied on her phone. If she was in the bedroom and our son and I would make our way up to the bedroom, she would go to the living room and stay up until 2-3AM.
So, a few weeks ago I saw her phone on the counter and admittedly I snooped her IG messages, she was talking with an ex boyfriend from 15 years ago. Harmless enough, but I know guys, and any chance they think they have they would pounce on it. So I confronted her and said it was nothing blah blah. I trusted her for a little while up until last Friday night.
She came home from work and I was making a drink, saw her phone and snooped again but this time into her FB messages. Right at the top was a name I didn't recognize, open it up and they have been talking non stop, more than her and I do. Literally about everything, heart and smile emojis. Even her telling him how its "so hot in the house shes running around in nothing but a bra".
I don't know about you guys, but that sounds like a invitation to me.
She grabbed the phone from me and gave me the deer in head lights look. I asked her what that was about and then the flood gates happened. She accuses me of being emotionless and not being there for her as support. They met at work and even though he moved to a new city they still talk.
I don't know what to do right now. I am the breadwinner of the house, all the cars, utilities, cell phones, and mortgage are in my name. I cover 100% of all expenses, food, childcare, etc. I work full time close to home and am home every single night. I stopped playing out in bands so that she can have a life and go work her job, or do her hobbies. I sacrificed myself to provide for them.
I haven't talked to her all weekend and now I am at work dreading going home later. Only want to be with my son and tell her to move back in with her uncles. I feel betrayed.
submitted by Puzzleheaded_Cup_292 to daddit [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:22 Alternative-Item1207 Reserve Weapon Set / Dual Class Hybrid Gear

With the arrival of Necromancy in the near future, and a mention of expanding existing classes to 120 I'm sure many players will want to engage in more than one combat style. There will also definately be more boss mechanics that players will benefit to have more than one type of damage to deal with or having more than one skill set your class of choice provides.
Here's my ideas;
Players can now equip two weapon sets. Then main set, and a reserve set. The "switch" ability can be a keybind, skill, button on mobile, or switch automatically based on rotation.
Weapons in reserve are shown on the players sides of back respectively so they can be seen in pvp.
You can equip any items that you could normally equip together in these spots. You character does not gain any stats from said weapon while the weapon is in reserve. Your character can however switch to the reserve weapon when a skill that matches the reserve weapon if you toggle it on. As an example, you could open with a melee skill and then transition to range, and then back. You could also use a 2h, dual weild, or single weird and shield for the same class if you prefer.
To balance this, the community could decide whether or not weapons could now be switched from the inventory in combat.
Starting from level 80, players would have the ability to combine two armor sets of the same tier from different classes to form a Hybrid set. These sets would be augmentable, and have the ability to be separated back into thier original Armors out of combat (to protect the necromancer armors) The community can decide if it's more appropriate for the armor in question at each tier to be repairable with patches or gold, but combined gear would still degrade. Additionally it would only degrade to a broke state, not to dust.
Items that already exist as "Hybrid" or "All Class" would not be eligible for combination. Additionally, you could only combine gear of the same type. Tank would only combine with tank, power with power, etc.
The gear would retain its offensive combat stats for both classes, but gain no additional defensive ability. In the case of armors like chaos, the lowest defensive stat would be applied. The armor would then be weak to the class not combined with, Or it's original weakness (if combined with necro). Example: Magic/Range - Weak to melee, Melee/Necro weak to magic.
Again, NO TRI/QUAD Class gear.
The only downside I see to this is a cost ceiling. If you want to combine Elite Sirenic and Elite Tectonic as an example, it'll be pretty expensive. But if you wanted to combine say Elite Sirenic and Necros T92 power option, it would be cheaper.
TL;DR: The purpose of of the above is to allow more damage type versatility without manually equipping/unequiping in combat, and allow for a more more smooth weapon switch between 2h and dual wield options. This would also enable 2h and dual wield play of the same classes skills.
Let me know your thoughts guys!
submitted by Alternative-Item1207 to runescape [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 NatBritGal Muscle aches in my ribs and abdomen

OK, so yesterday was a bit of a tough day for me, I had constipation, in fact I think I still have it, and I've been told by my DR just to use the toilet when I feel the need to, but I was just so annoyed yesterday that I decided to just try and strain my blockage out and yes I did eventually have a bm, but now I'm absolutely aching all over especially in my chest and abdomen, which is making the pressure that I get normally from reflux even worse, does anyone know how long it will take for my muscles to stop aching and if there's anything apart from pain relief I can do.
submitted by NatBritGal to ibs [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 Juneinthesky Spiritual questions around tarot practice and dangers

Hello everyone!
(side note: I also posted on the Wiccan subreddit but a lot of the question resides around a more traditional/family path so I figured maybe it might be more appropriate here)
It's my first time in this sub, so don't hesitate to tell me if I do anything wrong (or if you don't understand what I write, English is not my mothertongue).
I think I should tell you a bit about my spiritual and religious background before I tell you what problem made me come here.
I was born in a family that has both christians and atheists. I don't know firsthand the christian milieu in America but where I live (France) bireligious families are very common and the coexistence is quite peaceful. My mom, once an atheist, converted in her 30s to protestantism (calvinist/lutherian church, very accepting and liberal, they did LGBTQIA+ marriages in the 90's/2000s). My parents let me explore my spirituality freely as I always felt a pull towards the unknown. I always had a strong interest about many traditions, had altars in my room as a child. I even pulled mock tarot card. After a long journey during my early formative years, I finally asked to be baptised in the same church as my mom at 19. Since then, I kept my spiritual practice quite open and hold no prejudice towards other traditions.
I share my apartment with roommates for 5 years now, and became friends with them. One of them, which I am very close to, pulls cards (tarot but mainly oracles) and says to have had experiences with spirits or dead people. She says she keeps her canal closed to keep her tranquility.
Anyway, it got me into tarot. After watching her pull the card regularly for 2 years, I bought a first oracle deck a year ago while feeling unwell mentally speaking (problems in a situationship, classic stuff to begin pulling the tarot ahah).
At some point after using the deck for a few month, I began to feel a strange and unfriendly presence in my flat and it was more present in my room. It made me not sleep well. I finally realized at some point that I got bad vibes from the deck in particular, so I heavily cleansed it (I drowned it in salt and left it under the moon and the rain for a whole week). A friend of mine whose grandmother is from a traveller's family (I don't know what is the appropriate term in English, I don't know her exact ethnia) but what's important is that she's a traditional practionner. He told me that apparently you should never cleansed anything with fire as it release the energy in the air for anyone or anything to take. So I usually use water, salt, crystals or the moon.
This year, I feel a lot better (thanks to therapy and personal growth) and in a attempt to work on my intuition and inner voices I purchased a new tarot deck. I bought at a local occultist shop a tarot from which I have good vibes from. I cleansed it first, and my first draws were very good (and made for self growth purpose). I always follow my intuition, stop the draw when I don't feel the vibe anymore and cleanse it after. I keep it in my room for it to take my energy.
The last time I pulled cards was on Saturday, the vibe was good and the night after too. But this night something really strange happened to me.
While I was doing my usual prayer (a standard Notre Père), my intuition or something told me quite sharply "it's not going where it should", so I stopped immediatly. A few moments later, when trying to fall asleep, I saw some king of dark figure (resembling a little demon or what) trying to crawl on my bed from where my deck is. I lit my light, and saw nothing. From then I kept having really bad vibes from my deck. It toned down a little when I placed my crystals (rose quartz and amethyst) on it, but I felt it wasn't enough. Luckily for me, it was the full moon so I placed the deck and my crystals on my window the whole night. I then placed salt at the four corners of my room, and even draw a line just beneath the window. The bad vibes were gone and I slept very soundly even though I was kinda spooked by the whole experience.
I also noticed that the plant I have the closer to me deck began to die, with no sign of a disease and I had it for years.
(I should precise that I don't have any mental health problem right now and that I am not afraid of the dark. As a child I used to chase ghosts and monsters in my room without putting the light on.)
Maybe I freaked out, but I thought I would ask you more experienced folks some advice. I read around in the tarot community but every one keep saying that decks, as the manufactured objects they are, can't summon stuff by themselves.
I asked my roommate, she said that maybe when I draw the cards I open a breach and I may need some protection. So I am wondering if tarot is really for me. I figure that if I open breaches each time I pull the cards it might get dangerous for me at some point? I might encounter something too powerful for me to cleanse at some point.
Maybe it's an old fear coming from my religious background?
I think something might be running in my family - my parents once saw ghosts, my mom heard voices that literaly saved my family from a car accident and she had spiritual visions while meditating. I wouldn't be surprise if my grandmother and great grandmother had stories to tell.
I would like to have a complementary practice besides Christianity, which I live more as an intellectual practice. I need something more coming from the gut. It happened that I used dance and meditation for that purpose. But I wonder if tarot and oracle are safe for me? My roommate stopped using pendulum because she had bad vibes and thought it was too dangerous.
UPDATE: I spoke a bit more to my roommate and she thinks I have a canal that opens easily and that I haven't learned to protect myself yet. I have an history of feeling the need to cleanse my rooms an a regular basis since childhood without knowing much about it, and I felt presences where I slept during my night shifts at the hospital that made me wear protective pendants. Like, I couldn't sleep without them.
I showed her the dying plants and she told me that she felt there was still a presence or a breach around my nightstand. I told the presence to go, I did another salt barrier, I wear my pendants and right now the vibes are way better.
Well that's quite a big chunk of text.Thanks for all of you that read it! I hope you have a good day:
submitted by Juneinthesky to witchcraft [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 Specific-Number1344 Took a mental health day off work and bought a paddling pool

Honestly this sounds so silly but I’m feeling so content right now. I’m a teacher in an international school. It’s rough. We have terrible management, really difficult students and I’m struggling with my suicidal mum. I’m at breaking point where I feel overworked (and I am, apparently the school owes me 150h) and when I try to sleep at night, especially on Sundays before work, my brain goes into overload and it’s like being on a ride I can’t get off of. I think about all the challenging kids I’m going to see, my unsupportive manager, my never ending to do list. I was awake til 1:30am trying to listen to guided meditations to help me sleep last night and I just thought to myself, do not go in tomorrow. Take a mental health day. So I did. I lay in my hammock in my garden, organised my wardrobe, cleaned, and I just bought a paddling pool because it’s hot here and I want to indulge my inner child. I’m not “sick” in the traditional sense but my head and emotions and spirit needed this today.
submitted by Specific-Number1344 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 ChampionshipOrganic8 I will probably never get a reciprocated love

I'm 26 yo, female, never been in a relationship. As far as I remember, I never understood dating, love at first sight, but didn't think much about it. I thought I had some "crushes" as a teenager but now I see I was only forcing myself to have them as I thought that's what os expected of me, while in reality I didn't feel anything towards them. Then I fell in love for the first time. I was 16 or 17 when I realised I loved my best friend of 2 years. I kept it to myself though, as I didn't want to destroy our friendship. Well, 2 years later shit happened, she found out anyways, it all crashed and burned and I ended up deeply scarred, never to speak with her again. For years I thought I'm not able to fall in love again. I tried dating and blamed myself for it never working out. I thought I have heart made of ice. It had a certain appeal, as being in love only meant hurt and trauma for my brain, but I felt even more different than everyone else because I couldn't fall in love. Now, many years later, I did fall in love... With one of my best friends yet again. A guy this time. I never expected to fall in love again let alone with him. We will never end up in a relationship. He's a free spirit, doesn't feel what I feel and also we are very different when it comes to life philosophy. I'm fine with the not being in a relationship part. I will gladly accept just having him as a friend but I started doubting if he wants me in his life even as a friend. At the same time I know that as with my first love, I will stay in love with him for a very long time, possibly years. I will not be able to fall in love with anyone else when still in love with him. And if I stay in a friendship with him I will possibly never fall out of love. It just seems like I will be never able to have a romantic relationship, that I will never have anyone reciprocate my feelings. I probably should accept that I will stay alone forever.
submitted by ChampionshipOrganic8 to demiromantic [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 BluebirdHopeful5822 Anaphylaxis fear

28 YO female, 150 pounds and 5’6 no medications, history of anxiety and GERD with chronic gastritis and seasonal allergies
Looking for some peace of mind. I have a lot of physical symptoms the past 2/3 months and under the care of my doctor trying to figure it out. Every single test has been negative, so we’re starting to lean towards my anxiety flaring up again and causing all of this.
Everytime an issue gets rules out I obsess over another one. The one I can’t get over now is anaphylaxis. I have no known food or drug allergies, but I do have pretty severe seasonal allergies, biggest one being grass which I’m in the Midwest and it’s terrible here right now for allergies. I have myself convinced I’m going to go into anaphylaxis over my seasonal allergies. It’s even spiraled more into everytime I eat anything at all all I can think about is “is this going to cause my throat to close?”
Wondering if something cause talk some sense into me about this being highly unlikely to happen?
submitted by BluebirdHopeful5822 to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 lifelesslump69 Today, like yesterday, but not like yesterday

I initiate the divorce conversation 2 months ago since i reached my breaking point. I meet with an attorney and draw up papers. I do not follow through. I dont know why. I just dont. I do know i am not happy. I do know my needs (emotional and physical) were not being met. I was a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest for the last 12+ years of a 20+ year marriage.
I know i contributed to the downfall of this marriage, yet, the hurt runs deep. i cant get out of my own way.... so here i sit, lost and confused. We spent 5 days apart (1 week ago) and i felt rejuvenated; felt like my old self. we had minimal contact (kids stuff only) and even then most of it didnt require a conversation.
Since returning from the break, i have shut every one out of my life. My support group has been reaching out, checking in. I tend to one word response or no response at all. Yesterday... I even had a stranger ask me what was wrong, i am that low. I know this is not a great place to be. I have some counseling set up, but not sure what that will actually do given its the first time i ever did anything like this for myself.....
oh, and why am i so confused? Because now, after all these years and the realization it could all be gone, the spouse now is doing things i asked for (simple things), and she is even doing harder things that were supposedly not her cup of tea... all because of love? saving the marriage? Where was this the last 10 years every time i threatened or said i couldnt take the one-sided compromising that went on in this relationship....
i wish i had a crystal ball at this point. life f*cking sucks
submitted by lifelesslump69 to Divorce [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 Eevielutions_ I have a crush on a girl and I don’t know how to approach her

So I (16f) have a crush on a girl, let’s call her Sia (16-17f). We go to the same school and share 2 classes together and occasionally (very rare) in those classes. In the past, I’ve definitely thought that she was really cool and that I would love to be her friend but I think how I thought of her back then has developed into my crush on her now. She is actually so pretty and she’s in a band and I am 95% sure that she is queer.
As I’ve said, I have 2 classes with her and I’ve spoken to her a few times in those classes. For example, in art once she was going around and looking at everyone’s paintings and said to me “woah that’s sick, sorry I’m looking at everyone’s paintings cause I don’t wanna do mine” (I was the first persons painting she looked at before she continued to look at the paintings of everyone else). And sometimes we’d make eye contact and guys, my heart omg, she’s so pretty and I’m so socially awkward I swear my face goes red every time.
I follow her on instagram and like her posts and she also follows me on instagram. I just have no idea how to start a conversation with her without being like a weirdo. I feel like it would be really out of the blue and weird if one day I just dm’ed her, especially since we’re not friends and we’ve never talked outside the occasional comment in class. I just thinking just liking her stories and adding her to my close friends on Insta? But then I wouldn’t know where to go from there… please help!!
submitted by Eevielutions_ to u/Eevielutions_ [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 14:21 free-dm Mom buys me everything. Im 28

Okay, now that i got your attention, i can say she doesnt realy buy me EVERYTHING. I live seperately 12 years, im an adult with higher education and 8/5 office work which pays me well. I have debts though and i can't spend big anmounts of money for fancy restaurants and often things i want etc.
My mom tho gives me expensive presents and spends quite a big cash in restaurants once we meet (like once in a month) I feel very bad that she is spending all that cash for me. And also, what is the most important issue here - i am NOT SURE if i want to meet her, or i want those restaurants and expensive things. Am i selling my time?
Our relationship was never good. She betrayed me million times, which lead me to awful trauma and mental issues. That is how it is. I never forgave her. I don't even know why am i seeing her.
Is it trauma bonding? Am i using her? Is SHE manipulating me using money cause thats my weakness?
It's realy hard to say NO when i have depressive episode and cannot make food for myself. But the food with her doesnt taste well either. But it keeps me alive. I can go in almost not eating or binging only for a week if I'm alone. She drags me to fancy places. But i dont even go for a walk if im alone, i just sleep. She gives away clothes. But i buy things for myself often that i dont even like.
I want healthy criticism, or whatever i do deserve. Any thoughts on this mess?
submitted by free-dm to askpsychologists [link] [comments]