Not all change is bad, but not all change is advantageous either, especially when it involves disfigurations and body part swapping. ‘What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.’ I tend to disagree in certain circumstances. I doubt surviving a train wreck makes you stronger. At this point in my life, I feel as weak as I have ever been. I feel odd and peculiar, a stranger to my own body, a monster to my soul.
Several months ago, as I was lying in bed a wave of red light poured in through my window, accompanied by a hypnotic vibrating purr, that put me in a deep sleep. When I woke up my left hand felt swollen. At first, I thought nothing of it but as I went through my morning routine, things felt different. My grasp wasn’t as strong, but it wasn’t just that, it felt as if I had a different tactile sensation altogether. I finally became conscious of the extent of the difference when I went to brush my teeth.
I grabbed the toothbrush with my right hand and the tube of toothpaste with my left hand. As I tried to line the nozzle to the toothbrush, I noticed that my left hand was slightly bigger than my right hand, and had a darker skin tone. The contrast was striking. I have a very fair skin complexion. My mom always said that I was ‘Irish’ white, that she would lose sight of me walking to the mailbox through a snowstorm.
I dropped the dental toiletries in the sink. I held my hands up in front of my face. I never chewed my nails, but on my left hand, the nails were almost chewed down to the cuticle. I turned my hands over and they were as different as night and day. The left was calloused from hard work and dedicated labor, the other was the pampered hands of a college student. Around the wrist of my new left hand was a bracelet of thick dark stitches, hardly signifying friendship or wealth.
I had to call the police, but when I got my phone, there was a text message:
Don’t go to the police, or we’ll remove your head. No more procedures needed.
I wasn’t too sure what to do at that point. Whoever did this was able to in one night, knock me out, surgically remove my hand and replace with someone else’s hand. If they were able to do that, then I was certain they would be able to get in and do much worse.
Luckily, I was in between semester, no classes to attend, nothing as of yet to explain. Even though it was hot as hell and it was in the middle of Summer, I put on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of gloves. My left glove barely fit, and the phrase ‘If it don’t fit, you must acquit’ popped in my head. I frequented the food truck parked in the convenient store parking lot near my apartment building at least three times a week. They have the best burrito I have ever eaten, bursting with meat and spices, not any of those lean stingy burritos you get at traditional restaurants. But lately, there has been this strange street person hanging out at the corner. He showed up around a month before my ordeal. He was not begging for money but preaching about an invasion. He was always dressed as if it was forty below zero.
Instead of walking along the sidewalk, I decided to climb down the hill from my apartment that led directly to the back of the convenient store. From my deck, I could watch the customers go in and out of the store. The apartment building sat on a high hill overlooking the street below. I could see that the homeless man wasn’t at his usual corner, but I didn’t want to take any chance.
I got down the hill and hopped down from the retaining wall, when all of the sudden he jumped out from behind the dumpster, dressed in a long trench coat, gloves, a ski mask, and a scarf wrapped around his neck.
“They got ya son. They’ve tagged you. I saw the red light. I’ve been tracking them for a while. You ain’t getting away and they ain’t stopping. You need to come with me.”
“Mister, I don’t have any money I can give you.”
“I don’t want your damn money son. I’m here to save your life."
I tried to walk past him, but he blocked my path and pushed me back. As he did so he started unwrapping his scarf and pulling off his ski mask. I resumed my attempt to get to my favorite burrito, but he blocked me again. I was looking down, not paying attention, so I didn’t notice that he was completely unmasked with his trench coat and shirt laying on the ground.
“Look here!”
I looked up to see the most grotesque, confusing human being I had ever perceived. He was a patchwork of different races, different skin tones, and stitched up scars running throughout his body and face like a map of a river and its many tributaries. His nose was completely foreign to his face and both eyes were awkwardly strung together from two different individuals. Worst of all, there was a large scar around his neck, indicating that this head had been removed and reattached.
“They told you that they were done, right?” I nodded my head in agreement. “Well, I’m proof that they are a bunch of damn liars. I hate to tell you this, but your life is over as you know it. You can come with me and stay intact or refuse my help and become what I am today.”
I should have taken his advice, but I wasn’t in a state to comprehend the reality of my situation. I was still unsure of what I had seen this morning. I was trying to convince myself that I had just slept on my hand or had a bad dream and slammed it against the wall. It was just swollen, not someone else’s hand.
“I’m fine man. I just want a burrito. Leave me alone, please.”
“Alright. I’ll still be here when you are ready. There’s a place we like to call the Island of Misfit Toys. You know from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. You’ll be safe there. I promise you, its not going away.”
I started to walk away, determined to ignore him, but then he said something that caught my attention.
“I bet you are O negative blood type. All us misfit toys are O negative. Universal donor baby. Now how did I know that? You still want to turn a blind eye.”
He was correct, but I persisted in my stubbornness and walked away. That day the burrito just didn’t taste as well as it normally did. Was there a new cook? I didn’t notice. Or worse, had they already replaced my tongue with someone else’s, whoever they were?
There weren’t any other occurrences for the next month. I made sure to sleep in the living room on the couch with the television on. Still, Mr. Frankenstein stood on the corner, waiting for me. I didn’t visit the food truck that entire month, didn’t have the usual craving and sure as hell didn’t want to have another confrontation.
The next month was my wake-up call. I was dozing off when the television shut off by itself. I heard that familiar hum and saw the red light moving through the front window. I put my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes and stumbled to the bathroom. I started singing to myself, hoping to drown out the noise and stay conscious. I opened my eyes for a second and saw that the red light was moving under the door, and bending upwards towards my face. I shut my eyes again.
The bathroom door slammed open. I closed my eyes tighter, so much so that I saw twinkling stars and sparks. I felt two hands grasp me by the shoulders and lift me up in the air. I opened my eyes. There standing before me was tall hairless grey being in a long black cloak. The creature had no eyes, small narrow nostrils, but a large gaping mouth, affixed open as if the creature was unable to close it. On his shoulder was a smaller green creature with a bulbous head and large eyes. It was not clothed and would ever so often lay its forehead against the side of the larger creature’s neck. It seemed to be a symbiotic relationship.
The larger creature lifted up his three-fingered hand. Out of the palm of his hand radiated a red light. The smaller creature was somehow making the humming noise, and within a few seconds I lost consciousness.
The next morning, I woke up in my bedroom upstairs. I frantically searched my entire body but saw nothing, but I wasn’t convinced by that cursory search, and sure enough, my suspicions were correct. Staring back at me was a somewhat unfamiliar face. My right eye was now green instead of blue, and the skin tone around it was darker. Even my eyebrow was more pointed. Encircling a wide area of the eye was a ring of stitches. I fell to the floor, exasperated by what I had seen, and what I had become. It was time to visit Mr. Frankenstein.
I didn’t try to hide my eye. I can easily explain it away as corrective surgery, the first of its kind, if anyone was so bold, or rude, to ask. I found him at the corner as expected. He didn’t gloat or say ‘I told you so.’ He was sympathetic.
“I’m sorry man. Come on. Let me take you to your new home.”
“There’s no way to fight them… or stop them?”
“Maybe in time, but all we know how to do right now is hide and keep them from tracking us.”
“How do you keep them from tracking us?” I asked.
“You’re not going to like it, but we got to dig a tracking device from in between you lower ribcage.”
I wasn’t too thrilled about that but then again, I’d rather go through a little suffering on the front end to avoid any more experimental alien body part swapping.
We walked down the main highway to a backroad where there was an old, abandoned warehouse. He gave a coded knock to let him know that it was a friend and then turned to me.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“Robert, but you can call me Rob.”
“I’m Frank, as in Frankenstein.”
I laughed and explained to him that I had already begun calling him Mr. Frankenstein. I felt a little weird admitting that, so I apologized.
“No need to apologize. I like the name. I honestly don’t know my real name. I just picked that one.”
The door opened and there was a hooded man with his face hidden.
“Welcome home Frank. Got a new one huh?”
“Yep, sure do Phil. Let’s make him feel at home.”
We walked through the door into a small homemade foyer. Some drywall had been thrown up and fortified with wooden pallets and barbed wire. There was yet another door. It was a thick steel door with a peephole. Phil gave another coded knock. A woman armed with a gun slung over her shoulders opened the door. Her face was riddled with scars and one of her eyes were bulging. She had the same mismatched facial features that Frank had.
“Welcome to the Isle of Misfit Toys,” announced Frank.
It was a big open space with many cots strewn about all four walls. As we walked around and toured my new home, Frank introduced me to everyone. It was all the same. The scars and parts were different, but the procedure was recognizable. There were even children, little misshapen research subjects imprisoned in a world devoid of holidays and birthday parties, or at least in the normal sense. This world tries to operate as normal, but in the end, its difficult to be normal when you’re hidden and locked away in a warehouse. We’re all victims traumatized by our encounters with ghastly reminders etched on our bodies and faces. Our minds are no less effected. There’s a big handwritten sign hanging over the entrance door. It reads: No Red Lights.

If your reading this I had to split my post in two because Reddits chracter limit is 40,000 and ive gone well over that. anyway have fun.
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John Wick Chapter 3 – Parabellum
John Wick 3 starts directly off of John Wick 2 with john running through the streets. The opening clock shot gives us the time as 5.10pm on Friday Day 13.
Friday Day 13 5.10pm
· 5.10pm john running through the streets.
· Winston arrives back at the Continental at 5.11pm “I’d say the odds were about even”.
· “John Wick. Contract starts at 6pm” is announced.
· John runs into an alley (the watch makes it 5.12pm) “Tick Tock Mr Wick”.
· John gets in a cab to the NY public Library. The clock in the cab makes it 5.38-5.39pm.
· John leaves his dog and runs to the library.
· “John Wick excommunicardo 20 minutes” in the exchange.
· John enters the library at 5.41 thanks to the clock above the clerk.
· John gets directions to his book and finds it at 5.45pm
· Big Ukrainian guy appears.
· John kills big Ukrainian guy with a book in 5 mins. Time is 5.50pm.
· John leaves and runs to the Doctor “john Wick excommunicardo in effect 10 minutes”.
· The Doctor must be 5 minutes away. John arrives “I still have 5 minutes”.
· Doctor treats john and stops dead on 6pm. Contract on john goes live and texts go out.
· John finishes up and shoots the doc as requested.
· John leaves at 6.05pm
· John runs through China Town
· Chinese thugs see him and chase him into the museum.
· John reassembles the revolver.
· John kills lots of people (best scene in the film). Whole fight takes about 10 minutes.
· John leaves.
· The dog arrives at the hotel around 6.10pm which fits with the film.
· John is hit by 2 cars and runs into the stables.
· John kills lots of people and rides off on a horse (about a 20 minute fight).
· John rides on the horse and kills the motorbike assassins.
· The contract gets raised in the exchange around 6.40pm
· John makes it to the Tarkovsky Theatre at around 6.50pm.
· Conversation with the desk when he removes things and meets the director. We learn johns name is Jordarni Jonovovich (I might have that slighty wrong). They talk and she agrees to give him transport to Casablanca. Probably an hour has passed since arriving at 7.50pm.
· John leaves on a life boat.
Saturday Day 14 9.00am
· Next scene. Morning The adjudicator arrives at the hotel at 9am judging by the daylight.
· The adjudicator meets Winston at 9.10am 5 minute conversation and they view santinos body. The whole conversation was about 20 minutes.
· The adjudicator gives him 1 week to get his affairs in order. This is the first clear timeline that is established. Therefore the films big shoot out must be Saturday Day 21.
· The adjudicator then vists the Bowery King (assuming she left Winston and went straight there it probably took an hour. She seems the type).
· Adjudicator with the King “you see rats with wings but I see the internet”.
· Adjudicator brings out the gun from John Wick 2 (the one the Bowery King gave him). She could have got it before seeing Winston or after. I think before. Bowery King also gets 7 days. The time is roughly 10.30 am
Monday Day 16 3.50am USA 9.50am Casablanca.
Cut to Casablanca. Google tells me that New York to Casablanca by boat at 40 knots takes 3.7 days by sea. Seeing as it’s a shady world and the fastest boats can travel at 80 knots and, assuming they are using that boat, takes 1.3 days for john to reach his destination (32 hours) making it Monday Day 16 3.50 am. However Casablanca is 6 hours ahead so its 9.50 am when John arrives at the port which fits the film.
· John walks through the port
· Cut to evening/Night obviously it’s a very long way to the hotel from the port and hes a man of focus.
· John kills 2 guys in an alley and meets an assassin who offers him amnesty “welcome to casablanca Mr Wick”.
· John enters the continental and meet Sofia. I estimate that the time is 8pm
· Conversation with Sofia and the marker.
· Sofia gets ready “We leave in 10 minutes”. The whole thing was probably 15 minutes. Therefre 8.15pm Casblanca and 2.15 pm USA.
Cut to the next scene at night where the Adjudicator meets Zero. This is most likely during the time that Johnwas travelling so this is either Saturday Day 14 or Sunday Day 15. Im inclined to Saturday at 8pm. She seems efficient.
Saturday Day 14 8pm
· Adjudicator recruits Zero. There a continuity error where the Adjudicator says “he killed scores of men this week alone” which if youre still following is actually 13 days although can be considered vaguly accurate. I suspect she was reffering to John wick 2 though which would fit. They talk for 5 minutes.
· Next scene is back at the Tarkovsky Theatre where zero and his men attack the Russian and Director. It’s still raining so it can be assumed that it’s the same night probably an hour later. So 9pm.
· The directors conversation with the adjudicator where Zero stabs her hands. The whole thing probably was 30 mins to kill all the guards and 30 mins to talk and get stabbed so its 10pm.
Monday Day 16 8.15pm Casablanca and 2.15pm USA.
· Cut to John and Sofia. 5 min conversation and 30 minute trip to meet berrada.
· Conversation about Markers, coins and social contracts “Do you know where the word assassin comes from”.
· John learns how to meet the elders.
· John and Sofia kill lots of people.
· Berrada survives and probably 30 mins have passed.
· John and Sofia fight their way out through the gold melting vats eneterance (about 10 minutes since Berrada conversation and fight). The fight is fairly straight forward so probably on 20 minutes through there. They enter the courtyard and kill lots of people and escape in the cars. It’s a very long fight so very likely and hour and a half passes which makes the time 11.10pm casa and 5.10pm USA.
Tuesday Day 17 8am Casablanca and 2 am USA
· The next scene is john and Sofia arriving at the desert. Google tells me that Dawn in Casablanca is at 8am. Its safe to assume that they both shared the driving and got some rest for the previous 9 hours. The car is also quite a distance into the desert I assume so they’ve likely used the night to follow the dog star and get a head start on meeting the elder.
· Sofia drops john off in the desert, waters her dogs and john leaves with a thimbleful of watered backwash. John begins his walk.
· He walks all day and night and collapses around 10am Casa (judging by the sun in the sky) on Day 18 (Day 16 4 am USA).
Saturday Day 21 9am USA.
· The next scene is early am for the Bowery King and Zero guards are killing all his men. Juding by the light and that we know he had 7 days it has to be Saturday Day 21 about 9am.
This scene presents a small problem because they haven’t been seen since maiming the director on Saturday Day 14 at 10pm but maybe the adjudicator has had other duties to attend to in that time.
· The adjudicator and Bowery King talk and he gets 7 cuts at 9.30am assuming the conversation took 30 minutes.
Tuesday Day 17 11am Casablanca and 5 am USA
· Cut back to an unconious John who probably been out for an hour. Hes picked up and taken to the elder and spends time in the tent (say 2 hours (1pm)).
· The conversation took an hour (2pm) where he chops off his finger and gets a mission to kill Winston. Zayer helps prepare for Johns departure giving him a change of clothes and, its implied, help to get back so this takes longer (another 4 hours to treat his finger and recover? 7pm?). Its likely that they have methods of getting through the desert but its still a long journey but its likely they took 2 days to get back to Casablanca. Say 48 hours (because he got a car a fair way in to the desert and camels are slower) making arriving back in Casablanca Day 19 7pm Casa. If he then got the 80 knot boat back that’s then another 32 hours travel making it Day 21 3am which means that he arrives back at 9pm Saturday Day 21 usa.
Saturday Day 21 10pm
· The next scene is John getting off the train and meeting Zero and the assassins which was probably an hour later at 10pm which fits with the film.
· John conversation with Zero and escape on the bike 10 minutes.
· Bike chase across the bridge with swords. John kills lots of people. John arrives at the continental and escapes Zero on the consecrated ground after about 40 minutes making the time around 10.50.
· John meets Winston after a 10 minute wait and after talking to Zero. Zero is ruined for me at this point when he becomes an obsessive fan boy all of a sudden which doesn’t fit with his character up to this point. So its 11pm when John and Winston talks in the room of glass.
· Winston convinces John to change sides and “go to war with the high table”.
· The Adjudicator arrives 10 minutes later (11.10) “Mr Wick it is a pleasure to meet you”.
· The adjudicator deconsecrates the Contenital. The process probably takes 10 minutes to get the file and do. Adjudicator leaves and summons a kill squad which, judging by the way they arrive, she had tooled up and ready just in case.
· John, Winston and Choron the concierge tool up. The guests leave and the decronsecration order is processed. This probably took around an hour (movie land reasons for being so quick) and the kill squad arrived after everyone has left say another hour so the time is Sunday day 22 at 1.20am.
Sunday Day 22 1.20
· John and Charon attempt to kill lots of people but cant due to lack of firepower. The staff are all killed very quickly within 10 minutes of the kill squad arriving.
· It was approximately 30 seconds for john to realise that he needs more firepower and 29 minutes and 30 seconds to be able to be in a position for him to be able to get back and rearm.
· They arm up again (probably 30 minutes) and head back out hunting again.
· John and Charon kill lots of people.
· They’ve probably been fighting for an hour when the adjudicator makes her phone call to Winston where he hands up at 3.30am.
· John enters the room of glass at 3.35am and fights the two assassins who smash him into display cases. Zero taunts him and 5 minutes later the assassins are killed.
· Zero beckons John to come upstairs.
· The two respectful assassins from the raid (great films watch them both) attack and talk with Mr Wick.
· The fight lasts about 40 minutes. John leaves them alive and goes to face Zero.
· John faces Zero (fanboy worship 4.20am). The fight lasts another 40 minutes.
· Charon returns to the vault and the Adjudicator calls Winston at 4.55am.
· Zero dies at 5.15am after him and John talk “That was a pretty good fight”.
· Winston and Adjudicator are on the roof they look like they have been talking for a short while whilst the light (pre dawn) makes it about 5.30am when John arrives.
· Winston betrays John and shoots him off the roof at 5.45am. The Adjudicator leaves.
· Clean up and sorting the continental appears to start immediately but its likely the Adjudicator went to her room and packed before leaving so the time is more 7am when the adjudicator realizes Johns body is missing.
· John is picked up by Tick Tock man and taken to the Bowery King. If this is around the same time then he meets the King at 7am. The conversation lasts about 5 minutes “cos im really pissed off”.
John Wick 3 ends on Sunday Day 21 at 7.05am.
John Wick Chapter 4
We know this film starts 6 months after Chapter three which has allowed John to heal from his injuries of falling off the roof in the last film. This one is harder to pace properly because of all the travelling between places so my timeline may be out here and there but generally it should be fine. 6 months is equal to 183 days ish so John Wick 4 starts on Monday Day 205 (because John Wick 3 ended on day 22 and nothing good ever happens on a Monday (p.s it’s only a Monday because I can’t be bothered to properly work out what the actual day of the week it would be)).
Monday Day 205 7.20 pm
· Bowery King gives a speech and walks through to John walking Johns dog. John is training on a Makawara Board Which is a traditional way of making strong punches and toughening up your hands (I study martial arts and used to have one, he’s also punching with reasonable form but with a Shotokan method with the reverse hand at the hip instead of the chest). New York skyline shows its sunset which the internet tells me is about 7.20 pm in April which is 6 months from October and fits the film later on. “You ready John?”.
Thursday Day 208 6am
·Sunrise in the desert. John kills 3 people on horse back and meets the elder. This must be the desert near Casablanca from Chapter 3. Google tells me that NY to Casablanca by boat at 40 knots takes 3,7 days by sea and seeing as it’s a shady world and the fastest boats travel at 80 knots it takes 1.3 days foe John to reach Casablanca then he has to get into the desert which takes 48 hours to find the elder making it 3.3 days later or Day 208. It probably takes an hour to kill the three horsemen. John meets the elder and they talk for 5 minutes and john kills him at 7.05am. John leaves. “No one escapes the table”.
Saturday Day 210 Evening probably around 5pm
· Back in New York Continental Hotel. Assumption that news of the Elder has been notified to the relevant people and its say, two days later. The Harbinger arrives and asks Charon to speak to the manager. Approx 10 minutes later he meets Winston delivers his letter and gives a 1 hour time limit to evacuate the hotel and then leaves. They get to it.
· Next scene is in the Marquis tower Winston has obviously got things going and he and Charon have gone pretty much straight there. They meet the Marquis and talk for 10minutes and Marquis blows up the continental exactly 1 hour after the hourglass notification was given so it is 6.05 pm. Marquis kill Charon 30 seconds later. “It has been an honor my friend” and leaves a minute after that asking for Chidi (his main guy) to find Caine at 6.07ish.
Sunday Day 211 9am
·The next scene is Paris. New York to Paris is 7.5 hours by plane. The assumption is that the Marquis left and took 1 hour to airport, straight on to the plane and the straight to Paris in another hour meaning it took 9.5 hours making it 3 am in the USA. France is 6 hours ahead of America making the time 9am which fits the film. Caine is sitting listening to his daughter play violin. He then is seen going to see the Marquis so im assuming this is an hour later. They talk and Caine gets his name. It takes 10 mins and Caine leaves at 10.10 am.
Monday Day 212 10 pm
·Cut to Osaka Japan. Paris to Osaka flight time is 15 hours,1 hour to the airport and then to the hotel. The time difference is that Japan is 7 hours ahead of usa so it makes it 11 am but the scene is night so say 10 pm and say than rather than a continuity error there was a flight delay because of movieland reasons. Mr Nobody enters the Continental and meets Akira the concierge and checks in. We meet her and the manager.
Note here: There’s cherry blossom on the trees. Cherry blossom season in Japan is roughly march to April which fits with the 6 months since October but if you don’t think that then the trees are artificial or genetically altered to bloom all year round.
Nobody takes a seat after checking in (10mins) and checks his dairy. The Manager and Akira walk and talk about 20 minutes through the LED museum and the manager goes out to meet John a further 10 mins later at 10.30pm. They talk for 30 minutes.
·Chidi arrives with Caine and asks to see the manager. Nobody notices when they arrive at 11pm.
The evacuation starts immediately. Akira runs up to see the manager so it must be 5 mins later when she sees him. John waits. The manager gets his staff ready which takes about 10 mins ish and meets Chidi at 11.20 pm.
·The manager and Chidi and Caine talk for 10 minutes and it erupts into a massive rumble.
·The manager kills lots of people. The first part of the fight takes about 10 minutes until the kill squad arrives and the fight enters round 2 at 11.45 pm.
Tuesday Day 213 00.00 am
Back on the roof the kill squad find John and Akira. Must be about 15 minutes later making it 00.00am.
·John and Akira kill lots of people. Interesting note: you can clearly see John aiming for the breaks and chinks in the kill squads armour which is still bullet proof like John Wick 3.
The fight takes 20 minutes. (00.20am)
· Cut to the kitchen and the Manager. Caine is slurping noodles which take 5 minutes to make. Incidentally slurping noodles is a Japanese thing and Donnie Yen is Chinese (00.25). Caine kills lots of people.
·Cut to John and Akira killing lots of people at about the same time and Caine finishes his fight. Its quite a long fight (30 mins). The Manager arrives and saves Akira and John leaves. “Kill as many as you can”.
·John enters the LED museum and about 5 mins later is attacked by the kill squad. John kills lots of people. Another long fight which takes about 45 minutes especially with the nunchucks making the time about 2am.
·Caine arrives and they talk and fight which takes about 15 minutes until Mr Nobody arrives and tries to kill them. Note: Caine loses his sword cane sheath here because you don’t see it again from now on.
Cut to the exchange which must be the same time and Johns bounty is increased.
·Cut to John outside in a bamboo area. Its about 15 minutes since he escaped Caine so about 2.30 am. John is attacked. John kills lots of people. Takes about 5 minutes.
· John and Nobody and his dog talk for 5 minutes and john leaves. “Take better care of yourself”.
Cut to the Manager and Akira trying to leave. Caine has beat them to it and its around the same time as Johns escape. Caine and the Manager fight which takes 10 mins and Caine kills the manager at 2.50 am and Akira leaves.
·John is at the station and most likely has been for 10 minutes. He gets on the train. Akira arrives, they talk for 5 minutes and Akira leaves next stop,
·Cut to New York in the rain likely 2pm. Winston and Bowery king talk for 10 mins likely at the same time John was escaping.
Friday Day 215 12 pm
·Next is Marquis and the Harbinger in Paris. Its bright day time so likely midday. Caine and Nobody are there so they must have travelled straight from Japan. So 1 hour to airport, 15 hour flight to France and 1 hour to Paris makes it 17 hours Since Japan but its Midday because it should be 8 pm so the plane had an engine fault and there was a delay.
· Nobody and the Marquis talk and Marquis stabs Nobody and makes a deal. Note here: Why do they shake with their left hands in this scene? Marquis leaves and Cut to
Saturday Day 216 12pm
·John in New York visiting Charons grave site. Its Midday and Paris is 6 hours ahead so it has to be the following day so its Saturday Day 216. 6 days have passed since Charon was killed. I could have this slightly wrong but movieland reasons for burying him so quickly. John and Winston talk for 15 minutes. “They’re cold hard facts”. John heads to Berlin.
Monday Day 218 8 pm
·Next scene is John in Berlin at night. NY to Berlin is 8 hours ish. 1 hour to the airport, flight and 1 hour to Berlin is 10 hours. Berlin is 6 hours ahead of USA which means the time should be 6am which doesn’t fit with the film therefore there must have been another flight delay and it’s the day 218 Monday say 8pm.
·Nobody watches John enter the safe haven Church.
·John unburdens his guns and enters. He speaks to the priest who shoots him and gets taken away. “Nice Suit”. Prob 5 minutes so its 8.05pm
·Cut to Marquis at the ballet. My Nobody calls him to give him Johns location so it must be the same time.
·John awakes with a noose around his neck. He been there about 30 minutes with everyone surrounding him. Katia arrives and talks to John about age and Uncle Petior whilst continuously stringing him up. “We have a common enemy”. They make a deal to kill Killa and the whole thing took about 15 minutes. Claus smacks John. “I am Claus”.
·About an hour later John and Claus are in the club to see Killa. Note: Scott Adkins is brilliant as Killa. Claus delivers a letter. Killa and John talk. Caine arrives and joins them. Conversation about family and personal feelings and discord between old friends. Mr Nobody joins them and takes a seat. Converstaion on who wants to kill who.
·They play cards. Interesting note: Caine here looks at his cards and says what he has so therefore he must have some actual vision. By the time Killa lays his cards on the table about 30 minutes must have passed. Once he does-
·John, Caine and Nobody kill lots of people.
·Killa runs into the club and john follows.
·John kills lots of people. It’s a drawn out fight against all the men and Killa but doesn’t last that long say about 30 minutes whilst Caine and Nobody kill everyone else in Killas office.
·John kills lots of people and Killa dies at 10.40pm
·The whole club empties 5 minutes later. Nobody tries to shoot John but Caine stops him. John leaves.
·Back at the Church an Hour later (11.45pm). John gives Killas tooth to Katia and we cut to John’s welcome back ceremony. It takes time to prepare and melt gold so its another 2 hours later making it 1.45am on Day 219 Tuesday. The ceremony probably takes an hour with them burning their arms ala David Caradine from Kung Fu style. Jordani is accepted back at 2.45 am
Wednesday Day 220 12.00 pm
·Winston visits the Marquis who we know is in Paris. Theres no time difference between Paris and Berlin and theres no way to know what time it actually is so im saying midday. John is likely traveling to Paris because he shows up in a bit. Winston delivers the message and formal challenge and they talk about the old ways and rules. It’s a detailed conversation and likely takets 20 minutes. “Such is life”.
·Next scene is John walking across themarble in front of the effiel tower. Its dull so say early evening say 5 pm.
·John, the Marquis and Harbinger discuss terms of the duel. We also get a finishing time of sunrise on day 221 which is Thursday for the duel and film ending. Whole thing takes about 15 minutes. John leaves with Winston.
·Caine and Marquis talk for 5 minutes and Caine leaves.
·Cut to John in a church say 30 mins since. Caine is there and they talk and share a moment together. John leaves after 5 minutes at 5.35 pm.
·Cut to the Marquis and Harbinger talking. Its now night at about 8 pm and the conversation takes about 5 minutes.
·John arrives at the safe harbour probably at the same time and eneter the station and meets Winston and the King at 8.10. John gets his suit.
·Chidi and the Marquis talk and there a brief shot of a large clock on the wall saying the time is 11.50 so that’s the time.
Thursday Day 221 00.00am
·Chidi puts out the contract to the exchange and the radio station at 00.00am.
·All the assassins tool up. Things are going to get very busy for John.
·John gets his gun at 00.00am. “This Viper has ferocious fangs”.
·Some time later they get on the boat and 20 minutes journey to Johns destination. Converstaion about grave stones. We also discover sunrise is at 6.03 am.
·John enters the road in front of the Effiel tower at about 4.30 am. At this time the exchange informs everyone where he is.
·John kills lots of people. Some in a mustang (love that car) whilst getting his gun. 15 min fight (4uilding site house at 5.37am.45am).
·John arrives at the arc de triumpth 15 mins after that (5.00).
·John kills lots of people in a car, on foot, between traffic at the arc de triumpth. (long fight 30 minutes).
·Marquis takes a phone call from Nobody at 5.33 am (clock behind him).
·John continues to kill lots of peopleand escapes on a bike heading to the Sacre Coeur at 5.35.
·John kills lots of poepl on a bike and enters the building site house at 5.35.
·One of the best fight scenes in the film. Nobody enters.
·Nobody and john kill lots of people. Marquis call Nobody at 5.40 (Clock behind him again).
·John and Nobody continue to kill lots of people.
·Marquis calls Nobody at 5.43 $40 million.
·More assassins arrive. John kills lots of people. (top down fight love this so much).
·Nobody and john kill lots of people.
·Nobody and John fall through a hole in the floor at 5.45.
·john saves nobodys dog at 5.46.
·John escapes out the window. He looks at his watch which shows the time is 5.50am. John heads to the steps.
·John starts up the steps. The time is 5.55am. He has 7 minutes to get to the top.
·John kills lots of people.
·John gets almost to the top and falls back about half way when Chidi attacks him.
·John and Chidi fight and john falls to the bottom.
·Caine arrives at 5.59.
·Caine and John kill lots of people back up the steps.
·Nobody shoots Chidi at 6.00am. Chidi is killed by the dog and Nobody at 6.01am.
·John and Caine arrive at the church at 6.03am. Cain stabs johns hand.
·The Duel commences. It takes approximately 5 minutes. Nobody and the dog watch.
·John kills the Marquis at 6.08am.
·The Harbinger makes his announcements and takes his leave at 6.09 am
·Cain leaves after talking to John at 6.10am.
·Winston talks to John. “Will you take me home?”.
·John passes out on the church steps thinking of his wife at 6.11 am on Thursday Day 221.
Thursday Day 228 12.00pm
·Back to New York a few days have passed so im assuming a week later at midday. Bowery king and Winston are standing at Johns Grave. They talk and leave after 5 minutes .
·After credits scene assuming this is the same time as the graveyard scene. Caine is visting his daughter. Akira is going to kill him.
John Wick Chapter 4 ends on Thursday Day 228 12.00pm.

Discord Username: DrGoose53#5737
Character Name and House: Talla Lowther
Age: 29
Appearance: Talla Lowther
Gift: Gossiper
Skills: Courtly (e), Deceiver, Shipwright, Scholar
Talent(s): Cyvasse, Hairdressing, Dancing
Starting Title(s): Lady of Lowton
Starting Location: feast
Family Tree: Family Tree
Alternate Characters: Santolhal Lowther
Character Name and House: Santolhal Lowther
Age: 22
Appearance: Santolhal
Gift: Admiral
Skills: Sailing (e), Cautious / Maimed (leg)
Talent(s): Fishing, Drinking, Ropework
Starting Title(s): Lord of Lowton
Starting Location: feast
Family Tree: Family Tree
Talla Lowther
Talla Lowther was born in 178 AC to Robert and Meredyth Redwyne. For years, Talla was the only child between the Redwyne heir and his wife, and so relished in the unending swarming of attention and spoiling. She served, what seemed like, as a lightning rod of everyone’s adoration and focus. Both parents doted on her and spoiled her, and even her grandfather, the stern and proud Lord Bertrand, would make her fall into fits of giggles as he told her tales of what her future will hold for her.
Her first tragedy in life would come early, soon after she turned four, Meredyth had passed away rapidly and without much warning. At such a young age, Talla was rightfully devastated about the loss, but Robert had done well in keeping Talla’s spirits up as well as possible and providing her every luxury and source of happiness money could buy. For the next year and a half, Robert and Talla were as close as a daughter and father could be. Despite losing her mother, Talla’s life and eccentric personality had rebounded rapidly and she had proven herself to be quite the brilliant child. No matter the subject, Talla would be easily able to grasp whatever her maesters and tutors had placed before her, and, much to Bertrand’s delight, had found herself a natural in all mannerisms a “true” lady of court would need to perfect to survive the politics of nobility. Every so often, she’d hear the whispers from those commonfolk around her or her father and grandfather of what quality of man she’d end up giving her hand to.
But for reasons she had constantly failed to understand, the once supportive and loving Robert had begun to slowly and consistently distance himself from his eldest daughter. No longer would Talla enjoy Robert’s company nearly constantly, hours a day would turn into passing promises for another time, to simple remarks together as they came in random contact with each other. Before long, the only time she spoke to her father were awkward moments together when they still shared dinners together. It was during these awkward times she learned of Delena, the woman who would come to be her new step-mother.
Her first half-sibling would be born shortly after, and she’d be forced to bitterly watch as all of the attention and spoiling that she’d come to enjoy focused solely on Robert's new family. As confused and hurt and frustrated as she was, Talla fell in love with her new siblings, all of which came in almost a rapid succession. She was particularly close to Ryam, her eldest half-brother, the new heir to House Redwyne as Bertrand passed away.
Despite her efforts to win back Robert’s affections and love that she’d sorely grown to miss over the years, their relationship dwindled to nothing more than nearly constant bickering and arguments. Talla would spend as much time as possible away from home, worried this next fight would be the one to push Robert to punish her by marrying her off to some low house or disgusting man now that he had other daughters to pawn off for his gain. Though she cherished her time with her half-siblings, Talla tried to find happiness outside of Ryamsport, traveling to and fro between the various towns and settlements of the Arbor. It was in these travels that she would meet the Lowther family, and in particular, Santolhal . The young Santolhal had been pushed into Lordship of his house with the recent death of his father. Talla had seen the Lowthers before, mostly involved with her family’s fleet, but this was the first time she truly spent time around them outside of family business.
By 202 AC, Talla quickly found herself infatuated with Santolhal. Strong, handsome, and caring, Santolhal had won over her heart nearly instantly, and Talla no longer cared to travel anywhere without Santolhal at her side. In 203 AC, Talla risked bringing Santolhal with her back to Ryamsport with her to ask her father to take the Lowther’s hand in marriage. She expected an argument with Robert, with the winter ravaging the Arbor no doubt giving an extra massive burden to Robert’s worries, but Talla did not expect the gravity in which he would push back against her betrothal with Santolhal.
Hidden behind closed doors, the two of them screamed and cursed each other in arguments that spanned days, and by the time she’d left Ryamsport, Talla and Robert’s relationship would be permanently and irreparably destroyed. Talla would find herself no longer welcome within Ryamsport and separated from her half-siblings she loved so dearly, but it was worth the pain, in her mind, as she traveled back to Lowton with Santolhal and a promised marriage.
Talla was now Lady Lowther of Lowton and for the first time in over a decade she felt happy. Barely two months into her marriage and new life, a letter bearing a tragedy would arrive in Lowton. Robert Redwyne had succumbed to the winter that had been decimating the Arbor much more harshly than ever before. The man she’d loved with all of her heart, and then hated for reasons she could never explain, was dead. She would never get the closure and reconciliation that she did not realize she needed so badly. Robert’s death crippled Talla much harder than she’d come to expect, and she was near inconsolable by anyone for some months after until Ryam himself rode out to Lowton in the swarming snow to personally welcome her back into the family she missed so dearly.
From then on, Talla’s life would come to stabilize itself again. In 204 AC, her first son, Sarrolhal, was born, and with Santolhal at her side as always, the three would enjoy frequent trips between Lowton and Ryamsport.
Santolhal Lowther
Santolhal Lowther was born in 185 AC to Zalhal and Floris Lowther. House Lowther’s situation could be considered unique among Westerosi, as Zalhal was born and raised in the Summer Islands before meeting Floris, the last living member of the Lowther family, and settling down on the Arbor. Zalhal worked as a contracted privateer who helped hunt Stepstone pirates alongside Westerosi kingdoms from time to time before marrying Floris and taking the Lowther name as his own.
For such an action, the Lowthers, already a small family that had suffered greatly over the years and slowly dwindled to near extinction, faced public disdain and scrutiny for some time. As the years passed and Zalhal proved himself capable of accepting the Seven and the Andal way of life, Santolhal and his siblings only faced minimal discrimination from only the most hard headed of people.
Zalhal was an elderly man by the time Santolhal was born and treated his children more as soldiers to train than children to love. Besides any affection they would receive from Floris, Santolhal and his siblings would have an incredibly strict and controlling father until his death in 199 AC. Zalhal would often serve in the Redwyne navy, with Santolhal behind him from the time his son could handle the waves. Santolhal felt peacefully at home on the ships his father brought him upon, and would rarely be allowed to be spared from taking part in any job the crewmen had to do. Though he hated his father for it at the time, he’d come to realize the harsh treatment is what helped him become the renowned sailor he is today.
Floris passed away when he was young, and his father would follow suit a decade later, leaving the young fourteen year old boy the new Lord of Lowton. Santolhal shirked from his new lordly duties, leaving the matters of the state to the councilmen and women his parents left behind. He’d much rather spend his days out on the sea instead of remaining cooped within stuffy keeps and manors, a mindset he holds close even now.
In 202 AC, he met Talla Redwyne in his home city and the two would click together instantly. Talla was the source of affection and love that he’d been lacking since a baby, while he gave her the validation she craved. Despite the winter, the two went to Ryamsport for Talla to speak to her father, but more importantly for Santolhal, to meet her half-siblings. Seeing the way Talla interacted with them contrasted dramatically with the way his family was, for as much as they loved each other, himself, his brother, and his sister struggled showing affection towards each other.
After the disastrous meeting in Ryamsport, Talla and Santolhal married, and a year later his son was born. That same year, however, Santolhal fell from rigging high atop a mast during a storm, having refused to order those beneath him to do a task he himself would not do. Though he was rushed back to Lowton, the maester could not fully fix his wound and he would forever be stuck with a painful limp in his right leg.
NPCs
Janal Lowther: Brother. Skill: Architect
Tosa Lowther: Sister. Skill: Footwork

Sometimes when you look into the mirror, the mirror looks back.
William Bailey's forehead shattered the mirror like a sledgehammer. The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was the feeling that he was falling through the mirror. Sub-cranial hematoma, a concussion, maybe even a cracked skull--that had to be the reason for the strange feeling. The mirror was mounted on the wall just to the right of the bar, four feet tall by about three feet wide. As consciousness slipped away, common sense and his strong belief in the rational world told him that he couldn't fall through the mirror. He must have bounced his head off the wall and be falling toward the floor.
It seemed like just a second or two before William's eyes popped open. He lay on his back, on the hard wood floor of Fausto's, with Johnny Davis towering over him. Big Johnny probably wanted to finish him off, maybe kill him, and finally end their twenty-year-old feud. Either Big Johnny Davis and the ceiling lights above him were spinning, or William's head was spinning, but either way something wasn't right.
He raised his head and looked to his left, toward the bar. Except the bar wasn't there. Instead, he was staring at the bathrooms. That didn't make sense. It must be his brain that had gotten spun around. William turned his head and peered over his size-ten wingtips at the busted mirror. The wooden frame and most of the glass still clung to the wall, the rest sat broken on the ground. The bar had to be on his left. He looked again, and still saw the bathrooms. A brain bruise, maybe some fluid pressure building up might be the cause of it.
"Get up!" Big Johnny Davis said.
William looked up at him. Johnny stood behind him, just beyond his shoulders. Perfect place for him to stomp my head into the plank floor. Except Johnny Davis was holding out his hand.
"Come on, we've got to get out of here."
Davis looked scared. It was the first time William Bailey could ever remember Johnny Davis looking scared. William had always been scared of Big Johnny, but Big Johnny wasn't scared of anything or anyone.
Police sirens wailed in the distance.
Johnny glanced over his shoulder. William craned his neck to look where Johnny was looking, saw he was staring at the front door like a man terrified something bad was going to come through it. Big Johnny looked down at him again and pumped his hand. "Come on, get up. They'll be here any second."
"Who?" William asked. "Who'll be--" But before he finished, Big Johnny Davis reached down, grabbed him by both arms, and jerked him to his feet.
As he was dragged toward the door by the only man in town who truly hated him, William glanced up and saw the rusted metal sign nailed above the door. He had to have a concussion, probably severe; that had to be it, because the letters on the sign were backward. It said TUO.
As Johnny Davis pulled him out the door, William heard tires skid on the pavement.
"Where's your car?" Johnny asked.
William twisted away from the big man's grip, then turned to his left. "In the alley." He started to run, still not sure exactly what he was running from.
Behind him, Big John shouted, "The alley's over here."
William kept running but turned his head back toward Johnny. "I know where the alley--"
Something hit him across the midsection and toppled him to the ground. He got his hands up just in time to break his fall and managed to keep his head from slamming into the sidewalk. When he looked up he saw a shopping cart tumbled onto its side.
Once again, William found himself lying flat on his back, this time amid the spilled contents of the cart. It had been filled with junk: paper bags full of dirty clothes, canned food, bags of potato chips, a diamond shaped, orange road sign, and other trash that looked like it had been collected from back alley garbage bins.
The homeless man who'd been pushing the cart was scrawny, and wafer thin. His skin was the color of old shoe leather, and he wore a long gray beard, tangled and matted with food and bits of filth. He was sprawled on the ground next to his cart, half sitting up, staring at William with his bright blue eyes.
Car doors slammed, men shouted.
"You better get going," the homeless man said, as he cocked his head. "The police after you?"
Police!
Before William could assure the old man that the police weren't after him--he was a respected businessman and family man--someone behind him grabbed him under both arms and pulled him to his feet. William turned and found himself staring into the face of Johnny Davis. "The alley's that way," Johnny said, pointing to the other side of Fausto's. With one hand gripping William's jacket, Johnny dashed across the front of the bar toward the alley. The alley--right there, plain as day--on the other side of Fausto's, right where it shouldn't be, where it couldn't be. William had been here a thousand times. As you stepped out of the bar, the alley was on the left, Brockton's Ace Hardware on the right. Now everything was mixed up and in the wrong place.
Johnny Davis turned down the alley, dragging William behind him. After just a few steps, a spotlight flashed in front of them.
"Stop!" a voice commanded. "Get on the ground."
William couldn't see because Johnny was in his way. "Who's that yelling?" he asked.
Big Johnny stopped and William plowed into his back.
"Get on the ground," the voice boomed again.
William poked his head out from behind Johnny Davis's back. The blinding white light was in his face. He couldn't see a thing.
POP! POP! POP!
Gunshots.
Big Johnny sagged, then crashed to his knees. Instinctively, William bent forward and grabbed hold of Johnny. "What's the matter?"
More pops.
Johnny's big hand reached out and shoved William back toward the street. "Back door," he wheezed, then plunged forward onto his face.
William stood alone. Behind the white spotlight he saw blue police lights flashing. He was totally exposed.
POP! POP!
He saw flashes--little yellow spurts of flame--as something tugged at his jacket.
William had said "back door." What back door? Fausto's had a back door, but it didn't lead anywhere except to the open space behind the building used for trash and deliveries. Twenty feet of asphalt between the bar and the back of the building on the next block. William had parked his car at the end of the alley, but the police cars--or whatever they were--had the alley blocked off. The building behind Fausto's also had an alley that ran alongside it, but the owner had closed it off to keep the bums out. He'd put up a gate, padlocked it, and topped it with razor wire. It was a dead end.
Two more pops. Dead end or not it was better than standing here and getting shot. William turned and ran. He burst through the front door of Fausto's, dashed through the bar, past the shattered mirror, hit the back door at a dead run, and was outside behind the bar within seconds.
He could see the tail end of his car sticking out from the corner of the building, but with the cops blocking the alley, his car was useless to him. William glanced across the open space to the alley that ran next to the other building. The gate, the padlock, the razor wire--all still in place. To his right an overflowing garbage dumpster sat beside the back of Fausto's, jammed against the fire ladder.
The fire ladder.
An iron ladder bolted to the cinderblock wall.
William looked up. The top of the ladder was lost in shadow, but he knew it went up two stories to the roof. Last summer, when the toilet had stopped up, he'd come out back to take a leak and had stood behind the dumpster, peeing against the wall like a kid, one hand draped over the bottom rung of the ladder.
He slipped behind the dumpster. The smell made him gag. The bottom of the ladder was four feet from the ground. William reached up as high as he could, grabbed hold of the third rung, then hauled himself up.
Through the partially open back door came the sounds of heavy feet pounding on the hard wood floor of the bar.
Halfway up the ladder, he was exhausted--and scared. Shaking, he white-knuckled the ladder. Being more than ten feet off the ground terrified him. He needed a break, just a second or two to catch his breath. There was enough moonlight so he could see into one of the second story windows. Inside, junk was piled everywhere. Old barstools, a busted jukebox, furniture stacked almost to the ceiling. Years ago, old man Fausto lived on the second floor, but Jake, who'd bought the place from the old man and had decided to keep the name, used it for storage.
Below him, William heard the back door thrown open so hard it banged against the wall. He scrambled up until he reached the top of the ladder, then hoisted himself over the edge of the roof. Down on the ground a voice shouted, "There he is, up there."
Another gunshot. What the hell was going on?
The unmistakable sound of feet--fast feet, in shape feet, boot shod feet--scurrying up the ladder. Standing on the tar and pebble roof, William glanced around for something he could use as a weapon, shocked he was even thinking of such a thing. A five gallon plastic bucket was all there was. It stood upright, filled with rainwater. He picked it up and peered over the edge. A uniformed policeman was three quarters of the way up the ladder. Two more cops were right behind him.
William looked at the heavy bucket in his hands, thought about just dumping the water onto them but knew it wouldn't stop them. There was only one way to stop them, and that was to knock them off the ladder. He thought about warning them, maybe trying to scare them away. But they were cops. You couldn't scare them away.
So why had they shot Johnny Davis, and why were they shooting at him?
The first officer looked up and saw William staring down at him with the bucket in his hands. Their eyes locked for just a second and the cop stopped. In those eyes that stared back at him, William saw an almost maniacal determination that sent a shiver down his spine. The officer held his grip on the ladder with his right hand while his left dropped to the pistol resting in his gleaming leather holster. In one smooth motion he drew his gun and raised it toward William.
William Bailey tossed the bucket down the ladder. A shot rang out an instant before the heavy bucket thudded into the cop's head. Like a gruesome traffic accident happening before his eyes, William couldn't help but watch as the policeman fell, taking his two partners down with him. The last thing William saw before he turned away was a jumbled heap of black uniforms resting on the concrete below the ladder.
* * *
Hiding in the shadow of a telephone booth, thinking. Home. He had to get home. Had to get back to Marge and the kids. Maybe somehow he could explain what had happened. Vincent, his attorney, he would know what to do--maybe--but he was a civil lawyer not a criminal attorney. He wrote contracts and did personal injury on the side; he didn't get people out of jail who'd killed a cop by dropping a bucket of water on his head and knocking him and his buddies off the side of a building.
As the cab he'd been waiting for pulled up, William stepped out from the dark and climbed into the back seat.
The driver turned around. "Where to?"
William pulled the door shut. "Uptown. 1721 Audubon Court."
"Fare's gonna be about fifteen dollars. After dark, I gotta have the money up front."
"What?"
"Company policy." The cabbie shrugged. "A lot of drivers been getting stiffed."
William opened his wallet, pulled out a twenty and handed it across the seat. The driver took it and almost slipped it into his cash box, then took a second look at the bill. His face tightened. "What the hell is this?"
"Huh?"
With the bill stretched between his hands, the cabbie stared at it for a second then looked up at William. "You're either the dumbest counterfeiter who ever lived or you've been had."
"What you are talking about?"
The driver faced the bill toward William but didn't hand it back to him. "It's printed backwards."
William looked at the twenty-dollar bill in the man's hand. It looked like--it was--an almost brand new bill, nothing wrong with it as far as he could tell.
"Get out of my cab," the driver said.
William didn't know what the man was talking about but knew he didn't want to get out. This cab was his only way home. He reached for the twenty. "If you don't like that one I've got another--"
The driver pulled his hands away. "I ain't giving this back. I got to turn it in to the police." He dropped one hand behind his seat back, then came up clutching a pistol, an old German Luger by the looks of it, the muzzle aimed straight at William's face. "In fact, I bet they give me a reward if I bring you in with it."
William jerked the door handle and rolled out into the street. He sprang to his feet and ran, the driver's yells just background noise. Has everyone gone crazy or is it just me?
Home. He had to get home.
* * *
Rain. Driving, relentless rain. William was just two blocks from Fausto's. In two hours, that's as far as he'd gotten--one block an hour. Police cars prowled the neighborhood, shinning spotlights into every nook and cranny, lighting up every shadow. Everyone in Fausto's knew his name. He'd been going there three or four nights a week after work for years. The cabbie had his address. William had given it to him when he told the hack driver where to drop him.
Ten o'clock at night, with nowhere to go and no way to get there, William sat behind the closed Goodwill store, under an overhang that barely kept the rain off of him.
Huddled in the dark, head sunk between his knees, he hadn't heard anyone approach.
"You don't look so good."
Startled, William looked up, prepared to run again. It was the homeless man he'd knocked over outside the bar. The one with the shopping cart and the leathery skin. William relaxed a little. "Excuse me?"
The man pushed his cart closer. "You're not supposed to be here."
William looked around. "Why not?"
The old man grinned, half his teeth gone.
William found it nearly impossible to tell his age. The guy could be forty and maybe had lived a hard life, or perhaps he was a well-preserved seventy, pickled by a lifetime of booze. William waved him off, expecting a plea for money. "I can't help you."
The old man stopped just a few feet away. "Everything's out of place isn't it?" He had a strange lilting voice. Almost like an accent.
And he was right. Everything was out of place--from Johnny Davis to the cab driver--everything was wrong.
Strapped to the back of the old man's shopping cart was a plastic sign about the size of a loaf of bread. William recognized the sign, the words, the colors, the logo of a local supermarket chain, all were familiar to him, but the letters were backward, unreadable.
Rainwater ran down William's face. He pointed to the sign. "Why's it written like that?"
The old man looked at the sign then back at William. "Like what?" he said, then shuffled away behind his basket.
* * *
The rain came down even harder. William slouched in a darkened doorway across the street from Fausto's. Nothing made sense. Everything was messed up, backward, out of whack. Almost like this wasn't his home, like he was a stranger seeing it for the first time.
But that was crazy. He'd grown up here, gone to Brother Martin High School, dated Jenny Underhill who went to Cabrini, lost her to Johnny Davis, then got her back only to lose her again the first year of college to some kid who drove a Mustang. Two years later William married Marge at Saint Luke's. They had two kids.
This town was his home. He recognized it. He knew the people here, Big Johnny and Zeke, the bartender at Fausto's. But things were different, little things. John Davis for one. In trying to help him, the big man had gotten himself killed. That wasn't John Davis--at least not the one William Bailey had known since seventh grade. Everything looked the same but wasn't. Nothing was quite right.
But they knew him--or someone like him.
A strange sensation crept over him that made the hair on the back of his neck rise. Maybe he didn't belong here. Maybe everything wasn't as it appeared. Maybe this wasn't his home. But if that were true, then whose home was it? Another thought, even scarier seeped through his brain. If he was here, who was there--at his home?
Crazy.
William dropped his head into his hands. Just considering such nonsense was a waste of time. Yet, here he was scanning the street, thinking of going back inside Fausto's, back to that mirror.
Not much time to think about it. The bar closed at three AM and it was already two-thirty. When he'd left--run for his life with Big Johnny--most of the mirror was still in the frame hanging on the wall.
Something about that damned mirror.
But Fausto's was dangerous, so a couple of hours ago William had found another mirror. In the men's room of a twenty-four hour gas station. The Chevron on North Rampart.
He had approached it cautiously, afraid he was going mad. As he peered over the sink into the mirror, he saw what he always saw, his own reflection. Holding up his left hand, he looked at the image in the mirror, at the watch strapped to his wrist. He noticed that the man in the mirror wore his watch on his right hand. Just the opposite.
William stood in the gas station bathroom for twenty minutes before he worked up his nerve. Finally, he took a deep breath, leaned back, then slammed his forehead into the dirt-streaked mirror. The glass shattered and cut his head. Blood dribbled off the tip of his nose into the sink. His reflection stared out at him from the other side of the mirror, blood running down his face, too.
I have gone crazy!
So the gas station hadn't worked out. Ducking police cruisers, William had wandered the streets, his head reeling. What was he doing?
On the sidewalk, he found a sopping wet magazine that the wind had blown up against the side of a newspaper machine. The cover caught his eye. He picked it up. It was printed backwards, the letters reversed, words running right to left. The spine was on the right. As he flipped through the pages, he couldn't read a thing. Then William had an idea.
In the bathroom of an all night restaurant he held the wet magazine up to the mirror. Perfect. The reflected image was normal, spine on the left, words running left to right, all the letters printed correctly. He could read it clearly. But what did it mean?
Then he drove his head into that mirror. The glass cracked. Someone walked in, a skinny waiter wearing an apron. He stood gawking as William leaned over the sink with tears of pain filling his eyes.
The waiter looked at the broken mirror, then jabbed a finger at William's bloody forehead. "What the hell are you doing?"
"An accident," he mumbled, pressing his fingers against the fresh cut.
The waiter turned. "I'm calling the cops."
William Bailey ran.
Now he was huddled in the rain staring at Fausto's across the street. Because he had nowhere else to go.
He stood and walked toward Fausto's. When he was halfway across the street, a police car glided around the corner, headlights reflecting off the wet pavement. The cops in no hurry, just cruising. William forced himself to keep walking, not to run. One foot in front of the other. In the downpour, odds were that the cops wouldn't even recognize him.
But they did recognize him.
The police car slid to a stop as its high beams clicked on and its blue strobe lights started popping. Both front doors flew open.
Like a sinner seeking the sanctuary of a church, William ran straight for Fausto's door. As he burst inside, Zeke looked up from behind the bar. "William! What the hell are you doing here?"
He ignored the bartender, running right past him, eyes focused on the broken mirror and its busted frame hanging on the wall.
Zeke again, "The cops been looking all over for you. Say you killed two officers and--"
Behind him the front door banged against the wall. "Police!" a voice behind him commanded. "Stop."
But William didn't stop. He kept running--running straight for the mirror. Reflected in its fragmented pieces he saw two uniformed police officers behind him, heard their boots pounding on the wooden floor. Just ten feet separated him from the mirror. At full speed he took two strides then dove. He stretched his arms out overhead and tucked his chin into his chest as his feet left the floor.
He felt one hand hit wall and the other strike broken glass. Then his head hit. More glass cracked, more skin split.
Darkness.
* * *
William's eyes popped open. He was staring at the ceiling. Rough voices, even rougher hands. They rolled him over onto his stomach and jerked his arms behind his back. He felt cold steel on his wrists and heard the metallic ratcheting as the handcuffs tightened and bit into his skin.
He tilted his head up and rested his chin against the floor. Blood poured down the side of his face; he watched it pool on the floor then seep between the wooden planks. By rolling his eyes up he could just see the empty spot on the wall where the mirror had hung. Lying on the floor, three feet from his head, was the broken frame and the rest of the glass.
The two cops grabbed his arms and yanked him to his feet, sending waves of pain through his shoulders and wrists. As they spun him toward the door, one of the officers said, "You're under arrest."
"Why?" William asked.
The officer pressed his face into William's. "Murdering your family for starters."
"My...my family." William felt his stomach cinch and his bowels turn to ice. A thought he'd had earlier in the night echoed inside his head. If he was here, who was there--at his home.
As the cops dragged him across the floor, William glanced up and saw the rusted metal sign nailed above the door.
OUT.
He was home.

Something that struck me when rereading some bits of Winter's Heart recently were the massive changes to Emond's Field in terms of economic development, demonstrated by the new houses and other structures, which happened in a very short time.
When Perrin goes back to Emond's Field, the village is basically the same as he left it. A backwater village where the locals mostly farm tabac and sheep, houses aren't particularly big, all roofs are thatched except Winespring Inn's, the bridge in the middle of the village is wooden, there isn't anything resembling industry, no shops or inns are mentioned outside of the Winespring Inn, etc. But when Egwene and Elayne visit it in T'A'R less than 8 months later, Emond's Field has become a town, and a prosperious one to boot. Here is how Elayne describe it:

She hoped Rand could still love Emond’s Field, but it was no longer the village where he and Egwene had grown up. There were no people, here in the World of Dreams, yet clearly Emond’s Field was a considerable town now, a prosperous town, with nearly one house in three made of well-dressed stone, some of three stories, and more roofed with tiles in every hue of the rainbow than with thatch. Some streets were paved with smooth well-fitted stone, new and unworn as yet, and there was even a thick stone wall going up around the town, with towers and iron-plated gates that would have suited a Borderland town. Outside the walls there were gristmills and sawmills, an iron foundry and large workshops for weavers of both woolens and carpets, and within were shops run by furniture makers, potters, seamstresses, cutlers, and gold-and silversmiths, many as fine as could be seen in Caemlyn, though some of the styles seemed to be from Arad Doman or Tarabon.

Even with the influx of refugees from Arad Doman and elsewhere these massive changes really stretch plausibility for me. Building all these new structures takes a lot of time, people and resources. And it really doesn't seem to make economic sense. How would all these new stores and businesses get enough customers? Refugees rarely have all that money, and for the ones who have it makes more sense to move to Baerlon. Same for the artisans skilled in trades for which a backwater village doesn't provide nearly enough customers, like goldsmiths or furniture makers.
Sure, Emond's Field's economy growing pretty rapidly due to the influx of skilled refugees makes sense, especially since there is a hint in the LoC prologue that some of them discovered iron and gold deposits in the mountains nearby pretty soon after the Trollocs were defeated, but not this quickly. It even has paved streets now.
Sure, you can say "Ta'veren at worK", but Perrin wasn't even there during most of the period of explosive growth.

First shot at a recap so let’s see how we do!
Race Info
What – IM 70.3: Chattanooga
Where – Chattanooga, TN USA
When - Sunday, May 21st, 2023
Overall Goals
- PR - Yes (previous PR was a 5:30:12 at Ohio 70.3 in 2022)
- Sub 5:00 - Heck no
- Not blow up on run - Sorta?
TL;DR and Results
This was my 3rd 70.3 and my first with my coach who has been training me since the start of the fall 2022
Swim – 35:07
T1 – 5:03
Bike – 2:49:55
T2 – 3:13
Run – 1:51:57
Total time – 5:25:14
58th in AG (M27), 579 overall
Background
Was a college soccer player (GK) and after college had a foray into BJJ and MMA with a couple fights. Realized that was dumb for longevity and switched to triathlon
Training
Swimming
2-3 sessions a week of 2.4K to 3.6K yards per session. Some workouts are speed focused, some are technique focused, so on and so forth. I have seen a good improvement on CSS these last few month from 1:40 to 1:33. I did swim team as a kid so I have been trying to recapture some of that swim experience. I also felt some recent breakthrough with decreasing my stroke rate and using fewer more powerful strokes. Have been very happy with my improvement these last months. I still remain a terrible to nonexistent kicker
Goal split - 35 Minutes
Biking
typically rides a week. Longer weekend ride and 2 during the week (on zwift trainer) with focus on cadence or power or VO2. I have a big problem with low cadence, recently been trying to get up into the 80s for when I am normally riding. However when I start putting power down I start reverting to the low 70s cadence of riding. As far as FTP I had worked my FTP up to 257 leading up to the start of the season. However I have felt pretty weak these last 2 month leading up to this actual race. It has been harder for me to put the power down. However on the outdoor longer rides I have felt very strong and very comfortable riding for longer periods. Outdoors I ride without power so will probably need to make that investment soon.
Goal Split - 2:30:00
Running
Running has steadily improved with increased mileage and more speedwork. Recent 5K test had improved me to 6:33 for my fastest 5K. Additionally in the most recent half marathon race I had I finished 1:30:12 with a 6:57 avg. biggest issues I have been dealing with are some pain in my left Achilles at the very start of runs that typically disappears after a mile or 2. Typically 3-4 runs a week (1 tempo short, longer run on the weekend, Z2 10k).
Goal Split - 1:40:00
Race Morning
Woke up at 4 AM to get the body rolling. Had my usual prerace breakfast of 2 English muffins with peanut butter and honey as well as a power armour with caffeine and a cup of coffee. Transition setup right at 4:40 to give me plenty of time for the most important part of the morning, THE BM. Went back to my hotel and was able to get showered and dressed up for the race. Headed over to the busses for drop-off to the swim and get to the swim start 20-30 mins before the race start
Swim – seeded myself in the 30-35 minute group and set off! for those that fear swimming Chatty is a great race. It is a with the current swim so it felt like we were flying down the river. Dealt with a slight leak in my left goggle the entire swim which was pretty annoying but it was far from terrible. Also I forgot that in Chatty the swim is actually 1.4 miles instead of 1.2, so as I swam over 2100 yards I was thinking WTF why are we still swimming? This was the first time I seeded myself in the 30-35 min so I did deal with less of the slower swimmers who seed incorrectly. However I did still find quite a few in front of me who should not have been where they were. Mini Rant here, but seriously people why are you doing this? IDK this is just a huge pet peeve of mine when I have to swim all the way around a person (small problems I know...) rant over. But got through it without any real major contact with anyone
35:07 @ 1:23/100 yards - 7:48 PR!
T1 – Never had a wetsuit stripper before! that was fun. But this transition is long as crap. My watch clocked my total transition distance as almost half a mile which was crazy to me. Also I was a little slow getting my socks on today which was unusual. all and all a odd transition where I just felt slow and unfocused on what I was doing.
5:03
Bike – Set off on what had previously been my nemesis for my first 70.3 but felt like I would have an area of great improvement for today! with my goal of 2:30 I knew my goal average speed was around 22MPH, and for the first bit we were well on track! If I look at my average speed through the first 26 miles I was averaging 21.6 MPH. And this is a course with rolling hills most of the way. Goals of the bike were to try and really spin to get through the hill and not stuck grinding it out as this would destroy my legs. Also wanted to keep on my nutrition as I felt this really caused me to blow up on my runs in Galveston and Ohio. Fueling per hour was 1 x 55g carb Gatorade mix bottle and a maurten gel to get to 80 g carb per hours. Would then rinse down the body and sip water through the aid stations. after I burned through my 2 bottles I sipped on the Gatorade endurance bottle taken from the aide stations. In total took 160 g carb + some of the Gatorade endurance for nutrition. So all was going ok until after the "big" climb halfway. Not sure if it was fueling or the headwind that started. But my average speed just tanked. I felt like I had no power. When I tried to flex and stretch my legs I could just feel the damage in them. Not good. Then with the slower speed my mental game fell apart. mile 40-50 I was in a really bad mental spot and had decided at several points to just quit when I got back into transition as there was no way in hell I would break 5 hours. I felt like a failure and a loser. why had I been training 9-12 hours every week to just suck? Talk about a tale of 2 half's. Managed to get back to transition. Mini rant #2 - draft packs... screw you. A literal peloton of 8-10 people 2 abreast 5 deep flew by me at mile 45 and let me tell you I was big mad. Rant over. Also saw a guy lose control at 30 MPH and hit the deck pretty hard, hope he's ok. That was a nice bike to wreck on :( Also another guy almost started peeing on me (I was behind him) near the end and definitely did not use enough water to wash himself down after LOL.
2:49:55 - 20.07 MPH - 11ish minutes slower than PR :(
T2 – Made it into T2 and said alright lets just run the first 5k and see how we are doing then we can DNF if you really are that miserable. So got everything racked and ditched the 10 maurtens I had somehow acquired on the bike. but threw on my trusty Saucony Endorphin Pro 2s and set off
3:13
Run – That first hill out of transition took my already bad mental state and threw it into the fire. So I have never come closer to quitting than that moment. I did not somehow. And then the run flattened out. So after 1.5 miles I actually started to feel good mentally and that's when I knew I was going to finish. I also saw how my pace was going and I knew I would at least PR on the day if I just held the pacing I was doing. after the 1st aid station I decided I wouldn't push too hard on the run and simply walk through the aid stations. avg pace as 7:40-8:00 while running then would walk through the aid stations. in the aid stations I would douse with water and take Gatorade in. Also was putting ice in the suit. I think in total I had 2-3 gels throughout the run? and I stopped at every single aide station for drink and splashing myself with water. Besides the aid stations the only section I had to walk was an incredibly steep little hill right before the first bridge crossing to the other side of the river. That hill is a real ball buster. In terms of improvements I think if I really want to chop some time I have some free time if I don't walk through aid stations. I need to get better at doing that on the run to enable me to get that free time. Also I really didn't push at all my heartrate was pretty much in high Z2 for me the whole run. Also I was dealing with side stitches off and on the whole run so not sure how I can prevent that in the future but if I could eliminate that I would be a much happier camper. Also lap 2 on the run was SO CROWDED mind you there were 3k athletes but man that was a busy run course for the second lap. Saw the shoot and had the tear well up a little. Got over the line and had a quick little 30 second sob so that was that.
1:51:57 - 8:31 AVG - 11 min PR
Final Thoughts
Chatty has me feeling some really mixed emotions. I really was sure I was in for massive PR., chopping 30 minutes off my last PR. Instead I got a measly 5. Maybe I am being to hard on myself or am being greedy with the amount of time I feel I should be dropping? However when I think about it practically it is a much harder course with 2.3K feet in climbing over the bike and 600 or so feet in climbing on the run. So to PR on a harder course is good right? Just a confusing weekend for me about how to feel about it. I think nutrition is still and issue as I am left thinking why did I feel so weak on the bike? I have read some literature that 90-100g carb may be even better now so I think I will implement this into training. Also could I have been tougher and gone harder on that run? If you saw me out there I was in an blue and orange suit with a white helmet riding and old black and blue trek equinox 7 or black running hat. Next race is in July with the Happy Valley 70.3 so I have even more climbing to look forward to there. Will I be able to further PR? Let me know what y'all think of this write up or your thoughts on all this!

Hello everyone. I recently platinummed the PSVITA version of Sly Cooper 4: Thieves in Time as my 28th platinum. It only took me 10 years, 4 weeks, 22 hours to do it. Did you know this game hides its true ending behind the platinum?
Anyway, I'd like to talk about the experience.
Sly 4 was a bit confusing and inconsistent to platinum. I get the feeling the game wants you to platinum it given how on every loading screen it shows you how much you've completed the trophies and collectibles for the game. And that there no missable trophies. But there are some decisions that don't help with that.
So I'd say there are around 3 groups of Trophies in this game.
The first group are the mandatory story trophies. Not much to say about these. There's nothing missable here and the names are quite cool. I do like looking at the percent completion to see how many players completed the PS VITA version of the game. Did you know that around 73% of players booted this game up and completed the prologue? And only around 25% of players even beat the game. The biggest drop happened around the start of Episode 2 since the completion dropped from around 60%to 48% for some reason.
The second group are the trophies for the collectibles and arcades. I'll talk about these later.
The third and final group of trophies are for miscellaneous challenges. I'll start with these first and highlight some of the notable ones that I missed on my first playthrough.
"Crazed Climber - Scale the dragon lair in under 90 seconds". This was one I missed during my original playthrough of the game. This requires you to climb a giant tower filled with traps in the mission "Mechanical Menace". And this one was really fun even though it took me like 3 attempts. Sly 4's movement and platforming is quite fun so having a mini speedrun challenge using Sir Galleth's moveset was a treat. The one criticism I have here is that the game drops a checkpoint as soon as you get to the top. If you haven't gotten the trophy by then and need to retry, you need to quit to the main menu/hideout and reselect the mission, skip through all the cutscenes and get back there which gets annoying. At least the tower is near the start of the mission.
"Ancient Warfare 3 - Crackshot 10 enemies within 65 seconds. Sly's ancestor, Tennessee "Kid" Cooper" has an ability similar to "Dead Eye" from Red Dead Redemption where he can slow down time, mark enemies and objects and then instantly shoot them dead called "Crackshot". I never got this trophy when I first played the game because there wasn't much opportunity to. There aren't large groups of enemies wandering around that you can casually get 10+ of them line up for you to shoot them. Plus, I was already good at shooting them normally. I tried running around in the open world trying to lure enemies but found it wasn't working. There's a mission in the game called "Blind Date" that throws lots of rabbit enemies that chuck TNT at you that worked better for me.
"Hubba Hubba - Don't miss a beat in the Carmelita dance game." This trophy is, without a doubt, the main reason to platinum this game on VITA instead of the PS3. So nobody can see you play this dumb minigame and call you a Furry. This trophy requires you to complete the minigame where Carmilita needs to disguise herself as a belly dancer and dance to distract guards while the Cooper gang try and open a door. You just need to hit the button prompts perfectly. So you can ignore the times the minigame asks you to shake the VITA from side to side like a champagne bottle to make Carmilita shake her ass (seriously, why does this game sexualize Carmilita so much? None of the past Sly games did it).
"Get To the Chopper - Don't take any damage during Up In Smoke." This one was actually fun. In the mission "Up in Smoke", you have to control an RC Helicopter and drop bombs on turrents while drones and mines chase you down. It was fun dodging and weaving through them. There are 3 phases to this mission and you have a checkpoint in between every phase. So if you mess up, you can just restart the checkpoint to the last phase. You don't need to avoid taking damage the whole way through which is nice.
"Unexpected Package - Place 60 bombs in enemy pockets with Bentley." When I first saw this trophy, I groaned. This would be a massive grind. And I had actually made it harder on myself. You see, normally, when you sneak up behind an enemy as Bentley and hold triangle, Bentley will try to put a bomb in the enemy's pocket. Larger enemies won't notice this but smaller enemies will. But the main issue is that I had previously unlocked the Heat Seeking upgrade for Bentley. Meaning sometimes, the bombs would "miss" and stick to an enemy guard's arms or legs instead. So it was annoying going around the hub world and planting bombs on guards.....until I remembered that I had purchased the upgrade for sleep bombs. My plan now was just to find a lone guard on a rooftop, try and place one sleep bomb into his back pocket and detonate it. He'd then fall asleep. Then I'd go to his sleeping body and try placing 5 sleeping bombs in his pocket and back away (the max you can place at any one time). When he wakes him, I'd detonate all 5 which set him to sleep and then repeat. Even if I'd "miss" a few bombs that would stick to their legs instead, I generally 3 or 4 bombs work perfectly. So it didn't take long to get all 60.
"Apollo Wins - Have the perfect workout during the Training Montage." During the mission "Getting Stronger", you have to do a training montage with Bob where you alternate through 6 minigames as you complete them with the minigames getting harder as you complete them. The trophy requires you to complete 10 randomly selected minigames without making a single mistake. If you mess up, you can restart the checkpoint to the beginning of the montage and have to play through a new set of 10 randomly selected minigames. The Minigames are "Slippery Slope" where you balance an egg on a beam using motion controls while penguins jump around on the floating iceberg you are standing on. "Penguin Popper" where Penguins are diving in front of you and you have to play baseball using them. "Sumo Slap" where you have to perform QTEs to push a giant penguin out of a Sumo Ring. "Duck and Cover" where penguins get launched at you from 4 different directions and you have to move the left stick to dodge them. "Super Sling" which requires you to use a catapult to launch a penguin at a flying pterodactyl. And "Whack a chump" which is Whack a Mole but with penguins. Some of which are fake and you should avoid.
Penguin Popper was easy. Once you get the timing down it's easy to get into a rhythm and hit the penguins since they don't vary when they dive. Whenever this popped into the rotation, I considered it a freebie. Sumo Slap was extremly easy. The button mashing was extremely generous. This was another freebie. Duck and Cover requires a bit more focus because of the timing and inconsistent patterns. It's not too challenging. Interestingly, I noticed that the VITA's speakers would reflect if the penguin was coming from the right or left but not above or below you. I guess headphones would make this easier but I had no need for it. I was generally glad when this popped up in the rotation. Whack a Chump was a bit harder than Penguin Popper because there is no set pattern and the additional challenge of not hitting the fake penguins. But it wasn't too bad. I was glad when this popped up in the rotation.
Super Sling and Slippery Slope were the 2 I dreaded and the ones I messed up the most on. Super Sling doesn't give you much indication of where your sling will go. The Pterodactyls have varied speeds so you can't rely on pattern recolonization and reactions. And there's time pressure as taking too long counts as a miss. And it kept popping up in the rotations for some reason!
Slippery Slope was stressful because of the motion controls and how wild later versions of it were.
"The Cooper Open - Have a 20 hit rally with Bentley in each hideout." There are 6 hideouts in the game. In each hideout there is a table tennis table where you as Sly can play a round of table tennis with Bentley. I question the inclusion of it but I suppose it can be a nice distraction. This trophy requires you get a sequences where both you and Bentley hit the ball back and forth 10 times each (or 20 times overall) without missing. And repeat for each of the 6 tables. I found Bentley kept messing up so I had to intentionally hold back and avoid making good shots and try and hit the ball towards him. The main issue is the fact you have to repeat it 6 times. I feel it would be better off just once and as nothing is really added by doing it 6 times. If anything, it's more annoying given the long load times to switch hideouts and Bentley's random AI.
"Hassan Would Be Proud - Pickpocket a full collection of every item in the game." Each of the 6 or so locations have around 3-4 items that can be pickpocketted from guards. The main issue with this trophy is that it doesn't keep track of which items you have already pickpocketed in any way. The game already tracks how many treasures and masks you've found per general area but not pickpocketted items.
I only got this trophy by planning on systematically going through every location in the game and pickpocketting every enemy item and noting down which ones I found.....only to get it in the first level when I used Murray's shake move on some rat enemies. Enemies that you never encounter or have a reason or opportunity to naturally pickpocket. I guess 2013 me had already gotten 99% of these items previously.
"Navigate Like Drake - Take a look at every map in every episode". I found this trophy really annoying. The way it works is that every location in the game, including linear interiors that are exclusive to missions and even the hideouts, have a map you can look at by pressing SELECT. The game doesn't keep track of which locations you've seen the map of. So I had to systamatically play the game from the first mission and press SELECT whenever I entered a new interior. Then quit out and play the next mission and repeat. It popped for me in Episode 4 so somehow, 2013 me had looked at all the maps in Episode 5 without realizing it.
I don't like this trophy. It doesn't really add anything. The player would already be looking at the maps in the hub worlds where they would be at their most useful since those are open world sections. They have no real reason to use the map in linear interiors. And even less useful in hideouts as these aren't even explorable. They are basically just menus that happen to have a 3D background. I'd be more forgiving of this trophy if the map showed collectibles at least. That way, players have more of a reason to use this feature.
Shout out to the Lazy Trunk Spa & Lounge. A secret area in the game that contains a mask collectible and counts for the trophy with a unique map. No mission ever goes here. So even if you were to play diligently and open the map for every area you encounter, you'd still miss this. I only knew this existed because the trophy guide I looked at told me about it so I decided to tag this area while doing the "Get to the Chopper" trophy.
"Hero Tech - Battle with a secret weapon" Once you collect 50 Sly masks. You unlock Ratchet's wrench from Ratchet and Clank. This weapon even turns the coins you collect into bolts. Collecting 60 Masks unlocks Cole's Amp from inFAMOUS. This can electrocute the enemies you hit. I chose to use Cole's Amp to get the trophy as a tribute to inFAMOUS. Killed by Ghost of Tsumia 😭. May it rest in peace. Gone too soon.
That covers all the miscellaneous trophies. Now for the collectibles and arcades.
Sly 4 has a bunch of different collectibles scattered in each of its 6 episodes.
Bottles: Each hub world contains 30 bottles. Collecting all of them gives you access to unlock a safe hidden somewhere in the hub world. Unlocking that safe rewards you a special treasure. Bottles make a "clinking" sound when you're near them so if you're having a hard time finding them, try going into the game's settings and turning down the music and voice sounds. If you find the safe in Episode 3, the special treasure it gives you will highlight bottles and safes in every other episode on your map which is quite nice. I wish the game did this more often. If it hides collectibles from the player, at least give the player an endgame ability to highlight them. It makes it more feasible and fun to complete these tasks instead of combing every last inch (or looking up a guide).
Treasures: Each hub world has around 11 treasures scattered all around. The gimmick here is that in order to collect them, you first need to find where they are in the hub world. Then once you pick them, you need to race back to your hideout under a certain time limit and without taking any damage. If you mess up, you need to repeat the process. The treasures generally require you to have all of Sly's costumes. And a couple require you to be playing as Sir Galleth because England has increased gravity for some reason. Some of these treasures are really well hidden. Requiring you to go to these holes in the middle of nowhere which then require you to switch between some of Sly's costumes. Like, if you open the map when picking some of these up, you'll find Sly is located beyond the borders of the area.
I found it way more fun to race back to the hideout than actually finding them. It was tedious to find many of them because of how well hidden they are. There is no tool or item in the game that can help mark them on your map. Well, I say that. Supposedly, if you have both the PS3 and VITA versions of the game and play them at the same time, you can use the VITA like a scannebinoculars to locate these treasures. And then use the Cross Save feature to nab them in both versions. I only have the VITA version so no luck for me. Again, I'd argue it would be better if there was an endgame upgrade or tool you could get that would mark the treasures like how the game does it for bottles. There isn't even a "clinking sound" or any help for these.
Anyway, collecting all the treasures for an episode unlocks the arcade machine minigame for that episode.
Also sidenote, but this game has the worst map screen that still somehow can be useful. The map gives a top down view of the area but with a blue filter. This makes it harder and more annoying to navigate and use landmarks for reference. Especially on the VITA with its smaller screen. There are also no icons on the map (aside from bottles, safes and objectives) or the ability to make your own markers. The VITA version makes it worse as you can't even use the buttons to navigate the map. You have to use the touchscreen even though that's not how it is in the PS3 version. But you can still use it to know where you are and where collectibles can be from guides. It's technically readable and useful but just barely. I've never seen a map in a game so perfectly walk the line between useful and annoying.
The next collectible are Sly Masks. There are 60 total and around 11 per Episode. Collecting them unlocks skins and some goodies. But the catch with them is that they can be anywhere. There can be a couple in the hub world. But also couple during select missions and even some in the arcade minigames. There's no way to know where any of them are. They generally tend to be really well hidden even if you are trying to scour every area.
Again, I wish there was a way to highlight them. The game's long load times make it a chore to switch episodes or missions so it's tedious to try searching for them manually.
Now it's time to talk about the arcades. Sly 4 has 3 arcade minigames that are used in both the main missions and have a harder version in the arcades in hideouts. The arcade versions of these minigames are harder, go on for much longer and can have secret paths that lead to portals that reward you with points and some of them even have Sly masks. You need to beat the high scores to get the trophies
The first minigame is "Alter Ego". This has you play this 2D auto scrolling twin stick shooter minigame where you must avoid enemies and collect these "ionic bits". Collecting 5 yellow bits levels you up so your weapons get more powerful. At level 10 you have shoot crazy fast, can launch missiles and have floating drones that can damage enemies around you. But whenever you take damage, you drop an entire level. And you get left behind as the level autoscrolls, you respawn at level 0. You can also collect blue bits which can give you a grenade explosion around you.
Personally, I don't really like this minigame. It's fine when playing casually as a change of pace but grinding the high score isn't great. Since it is an autoscroller it is entirely possible you don't have enough points to match the high score and you won't know until its too late, wasting your time. I also found the hitboxes a bit too small. Making items more annoying to pickup.
The key to success is finding the right balance between collecting yellow bits as they give points and level you up (and how high your level is acts as a multiplier for your score) and killing enemies since they give more points. As well as avoiding taking damage and maintaining level 10 as much as possible and knowing where the secret paths are so you can get more points as well as level up if you have messed up.
The second minigame is "System Cracker". Here, you guide a little space ship looking thing through 2D levels in top down twin stick shooting sections. This isn't an autoscroller. You need to explore levels looking for keys and shooting enemies. There are 3 ships you can switch between by going onto specific coloured pads and each ship has its pros and cons. The green ship you start with does decent damage and has decent health and can carry keys. So it's a jack of all trades master of none kinda ship. The pink ship literally resembles a tank. It fires slower and at a shorter range but does more damage and has more health. It's also necessary for destroying pink crystals to progress. The blue ship has floatier handling and faster speeds. Its shots also bounce off walls and it can draw a line which can activate switches and damage enemies. It is weaker than the green ship though.
I actually really enjoyed this minigame and was happy whenever it comes up. It even feels the most fleshed out of the 3. Like, I feel it could even be released as a small standalone game with some tweaking and expansion. I'd probably play a mobile version of this in my free time.
I like how varied the levels can be. You can have a lot of different threats and mini-puzzles and even scenarios where you have to keep switching between ships on the fly to damage enemies. Like, there's this one enemy that's made up of orange, blue and pink hexagons that require you to switch between all 3 ships and use their abilities to damage it. It's quite fun. Damage one ship takes is "saved" on that ship. So if you take 50% damage with the green ship and switch to the pink one, the pink one will have 100% health. But whenever you switch back to the green one, you will be back at 50% health. So mistakes have consequences requiring you to make decisions accounting for them without being too overbearing.
Beating the high scores for the associated arcades is very easy. For one, there is no time limit or pressure so you’re free to take your time and play carefully. On top of that, the mode is very generous with points. Whereas Alter Ego only gives you points for killing enemies and picking up bits (and you need to get and maintain a multiplier for decent times), System Cracker gives you points even for shooting obstacles and barricades in your way. In Alter Ego, I was scraping for points until the very end. In System Cracker, I had more than enough points by the halfway mark.
I suppose the game could have balanced this by increasing the points threshold and rewarding extra points for taking less time to complete sections but I’m not complaining.
The third and worst minigame is “Spark Chaser”. Here you must guide a little electric ball across these maze like areas with gaps that end your attempt if you fall down them and these pinball like bounce pads that bounce you really far. There’s also a time pressure. You have around 20 seconds to get as far as possible with more time added as you pick up these purple clock icons.
The biggest issue is that it’s entirely controlled by motion controls. And this makes me experience worse on VITA. Seriously, I very nearly quit playing. This post was almost titled “I gave up trying to Platinum Sly 4”.
With the PS3 version, at least titling the remote doesn’t also affect your view of the screen. You can look at the game and play it the same as you normally would. But in the VITA version, the “neutral” position where no input is registered by the system is placing the VITA flat with its screen facing up. The standard “screen facing you” position registers as down.
The end result is a frustrating experience. This minigame requires really fine precision given how easy it is to fall off and the time pressure requires you both be fast and more precise to collect time pickups. On top of that, your view is constantly being messed with due to how much you need to tilt the system from odd angles. Especially how tilting “up” really makes it hard to see. Oh, and the dialogue from Bentley as you bounce gets really annoying and repetitive.
It’s barely tolerable in regular missions since those don’t require as much precision or speed. And even then, the usage there in 2013 was suspect to begin with. I only completed this because there’s a cheese where if you can get enough time early on, you can then keep bouncing on certain pads which give around 20 points per bounce. When I played “normally”, I’d get around 300 points with the high score being 1000 points. Using the cheese, I averaged around 990 points and managed to get lucky to win with 1010 points.
Tangent Time:
I’ve said it before. Motion controls work best when they complement existing controls in an optional way or in more restrained ways. I love it when games have gyro aiming since that can help compensate when aiming with sticks with small fine corrections. It works here because the sticks do most of the work and the gyro sensors work where they are best suited.
Or in many mobile racing games, steering is often done by tilting your phone. I enjoy this because there is only one axis you need to tilt your phone, the screen often rotates in conjunction so your view is preserved and it’s more intuitive to feel the “range” of rotation and how it corresponds to steering.
Hell, even ignoring these approaches, motion can still be used in worthwhile ways. Such as by mapping an extra action that is infrequent if all other buttons are occupied. The Mario games on Wii map a “spin” when you jump and shake the remotes giving Mario a bit of grace allowing him to make slightly further jumps or correct a bad jump. Call of Duty MW1 on Wii allowed you to assign certain commands to custom motions of the controller and nunchuck. So you could map stuff like jumping, moving and shooting to buttons but map reloading to smacking the nunchuck to the Wii Mote or plunge the Wii Mote forward to do a melee attack or tilting the Wii Mote to bring out a grenade or alt fire.
Even Resistance 1: Fall of Man had a neat idea. You could quickly tilt the controller left to bring up the Scoreboard screen without needing to take your thumbs off the sticks or stop moving. The Soulsbourne games allow you to quickly do emotes without needing a menu by holding the interact button and quickly tilting the controller in certain directions.
I bring all this up to highlight how Sly 4’s use of motion controls are a failure on every level. They’re mostly used in place of minigames as the sole method of control. So all the issues of motion controls (such as the lack of broad control and feedback) are front and centre. The only place where the motion controls are understandable is when firing arrows as you can then control the arrow after it’s fired using both the sticks and gyro aiming. But even then, the lack of any ability to tune the gyro sensitivity or even invert the controls hampers any use it could have had.
I don’t mind the idea of Sly 4 having decent motion controls. There are places where I can see it being beneficial. In addition to shooting and guiding arrows, I can see it being useful when you have to use the binoculars. Especially as Bentley as you need to shoot darts precisely.
Or, here’s a gimmicky one: you can bind certain costumes or tools to also be selected by quickly tilting the system. Even though using the D-pad for a quick select would be faster, it would still be a better use of motion controls for Sly 4 than most of what’s currently there.
End Tangent.
Back to getting all the trophies, the final arcade machine, unlocked only when you’ve gotten all the treasures in every other episode, is very easy. It has “3 rooms”, one featuring every minigame thus far. But the high score requirements are really low and rooms aren’t as tough as prior versions. You can easily get the high score in the first area which is the Alter Ego one. Even if you miss it there, the second area is Spark Runner but you can keep reloading the checkpoint to preserve your score. So you can get some time clocks, reload a checkpoint when you’re close to running out of time or about to fall off and repeat until you get the high score.
You do need to get past the Spark Runner section to the 3rd and final section that uses System Cracker's gameplay in order to get a hidden Sly Mask, but it's far easier than the dedicated Spark Runner arcade minigame as the section is shorter, is more generous with Time Pickups, has easier level design and lets you reload a checkpoint if you're about to fail which doesn't end the run.
So yeah, Sly 4 Thieves in Time was....inconsistent game to platinum. I enjoyed the base gameplay, System Cracker, the various challenge trophies and the mini speedruns for collecting treasures. I didn't enjoy finding the collectibles and doing some of the other minigames. I hated Spark Runner.
If the game had more ways of tracking collectibles, fewer minigames and better load times, I'd gladly recommend it as a fun game to platinum.
As for the base game itself, I am mixed on it. The gameplay is arguably the best in the series. Sly's movement and costumes are so fun to play around with. Murray, Bentely and Sly's ancestors are also fun changes of pace during missions.
The story is lacking. My main issue is that it doesn't feel like it realizes its following up Sly 3. The story so casually undoes the ending of Sly 3 to get Sly 4's story going. I get it, that's what a sequel has to do. But the way it does it really undermines Sly 3. It's also much more lighthearted and doesn't have as much of a theme or focal point as its predecessors. Sly 1-3 explored the theme of legacy and the consequences of adhering to it so tightly. A major aspect of Sly 3 was Sly realizing the Cooper Vault wasn't worth dying for. It's what prompts him to fake his amnesia and retire with Carmilita in the end. So for Sly 4 to then have Sly have an itch to steal just for the fun of it, it's sending mixed messages here.
In addition, Sly is really casual about the fact Carmilita now knows about his betrayal and has broken up with him. Seems like that should have been a bigger deal. In fact, that kind of "casual-ness" persists throughout the story. Sly doesn't really have much of an arc or any real heartfelt moments with his ancestors. Nor do they seem to really care their decedent from the future is here with them.
If I could have tweaked the story to address these points, here's what I would have done:
I'd have the story open with Sly, Bentley and Murray enjoying their "retirement" and have no plans of thieving. I'd go so far as to have Sly even scoff at the idea of him ever wanting to be a thief. Then when the pages of the Thievus Racconus are dissapearing, Sly, Bentley and Murray have to reluctantly unretire to try stopping them. There would be dialogue during the opening mission of Sly being worried if they get caught as it would undo their happy ending. And then when Carmilita catches Sly, Sly at first is flustered and tries to explain the situation to Carmilita who isn't having any of Sly's BS. Sly is forcibly extracted by the gang and then they time travel. As they are time travelling. Sly is upset that, in order to go literally defend the Cooper Legacy, he has to give up his happy relationship and can't be repaired now. That even if they fix the problem, they'll be on the run forever now. Murray had to give up his professional career as well.
Already, I feel this introduction has a few things going for it. It respects the ending of Sly 3 and keeps the characters in more character, as well as putting more heat on Le Paradox. Sly 4 had to rip away the happy ending that was Sly 3. The characters know that and aren't happy about it. There is immediate consequences. And that heat can be directed at Le Paradox when he comes later.
I'd also like if all of the ancestors Sly met had different reactions to both him and the Cooper legacy and how it affects Sly's arc.
For example, lets say when he meets Riochi Cooper, Ricohi is initially disappointed in Sly as the future Cooper decendent as Sly doesn't act honourably or respect the legacy or something like this. Something that makes Sly start to question if it's even worth defending the Cooper Legacy. Bentely is the voice of reason here and mediator that gets the gang to work as well as they can.
Then when Sly meets Tennessee Cooper, Sly is initially expecting another traditionalist ancestor that cares a lot about the Cooper Legacy. But Tennessee is kinda the opposite of Riochi in that Tennasee doesn't care about the legacy in the same way. He adds his own spin and contributions but also uses the knowledge from it to do his own thing. Perhaps Tennessee is this Robin-Hood esque figure who uses his heisting skills to steal from the corrupt ruling class and give to the lower class. The point being that through Tennessee, Sly considers another aspect of the Cooper Legacy on how he's not that beholden to it and can potentially make it his own.
Then when Sly meets Bob, part of Bob's training is also from Sly as Sly teaches him some of the Cooper moves he knows. Since Bob is the first Cooper ancestor, he has no bias towards the legacy or any knowledge. So he's far more grateful and begins to use his new skills in helpful ways. Causing Sly to wonder if he could use the Cooper Legacy in more ways.
It's a similar situation for Sir Galleth. And for Selim, perhaps by that point, Sly has a newfound outlook and appreciation for the Cooper Legacy and ways on how he can improve it or make it his own that he encourages Selim not to retire or to retire in such a way where he could help people or something like that.
So yeah, there's this theme now of "Don't let the past define you now. You can make it your own and grow past its flaws". Which I feel would give Sly 4 more of a punch. I am basically copying Metal Gear Solid 4 and Assassin's Creed though.
I also feel it would be better if Penelope wasn't the villain of episode 4. It seems to contradict her character from past games and the explanation given for her heel turn doesn't really hold water. I feel the story would be better if Penelope had the role Dmitri has where she's their help in the present and the Knight was a new character. But if you need to have Penelope as the antagonist, have her be under mind control or something. That way the team has the conflict of how will they stop the plan without hurting their friend. But if you really insist on Penelope being a full on antagonist now by her own choice, perhaps flesh out her motivations more? Maybe something like "she sees how Bentley will never reach his full potential as the Bill Gates of the world because of his criminal past that requires him to lay low and not take public credit for his inventions. So she's trying to erase the Coopers so Bentley will have never met Sly". That would at least be more than "I want money".
Everything else, I feel works more or less.
I will note that the cliffhanger ending was a weird choice given that this game wasn't projected to sell well and kinda pigenholes any story Sly 5 would be going for. Plus, it being locked behind the platinum trophy means only a small portion of the few players that played Sly 4 would even know about it.
So yeah, that's my take on platinumming Sly 4: Thieves in Time. What do y'all think?
Next up for me is platinumming every Spider-Man game on PS VITA. See you then.

Location: Anne Arundel County MD
My wife works at a small restaurant with a single owner. Over the last weeks, the owner, who is usually hard to get a hold of, was more absent than normal and picking up much less shifts than normal. Last week, he only had one shift, an opening shift, which he did not show up for, leaving the restaurant locked until another keyholder could get there. Since then, no one has been able to contact him directly. The employees thought he might of died since he has never gone this AWOL, so a manager went to his house and got no answer. His neighbors came outside to see what the noise was about and told the manager that the boss was outside playing with his kid the other day. He has also removed any social media connections with employees. Since then, the restaurant has run out of cash and were unable to pay employees. It came to a head when the bosses mother came to the restaurant yesterday to chew employees out for "making a scene" by going to his house and dropped off a bundle of cash pleading to the employees to keep the restaurant open, but it is nowhere near enough to operate as normal and tip the employees at the end of the night. At what point should employees consider going to small claims court and would there be any potential legal recourse from the boss if the staff refuses to open the restaurant when there is no money?

Headlines: https://youtu.be/IH5MFOmmZPI
Deadly Shooting / Moody St. Hyrbid Closing / New Candidates / Waltham Pride / Housing Notification Ordinance / Energy-Efficient Building Codes / Proposed Sober House / Lexington Power Plant
Debrief: https://youtu.be/IH5MFOmmZPI
1:00 What to expect from Waltham Pride? (Nick Hammond) 3:10 Speakers at Pride 4:40 Where’s the money come from for Waltham Pride? 6:46 Volunteer at Waltham Pride! 9:25 Waltham Reproductive Justice Paint Event @ Pride! (Amanda Kennedy) 10:45 Sneak Peak at Portrait 13:45 Waltham City Council Passed Pride Resolution - Not Everyone Signed On 16:30 Shoulda Been A Roll Call 21:06 Tenants Rights Ordinance 26:20 Difference Between a Citizen Input Hearing and a Public Hearing 30:00 Sober House Application Goes Awry 33:20 Clips From the Meeting 38:20 Councilor Bradley-MacArthur's Climate Resolution Shot Down 43:00 If The Whole World Doesn’t Agree To Do Something, It’s Not Worth Doing (Councilor Lafauci) 46:25 This Puts Anthony Lafauci To The Right of Oil Industry 50:30 Waltham Should Be Leading, like We Used To
Headlines transcript:
Waltham resident Shelson Jules passed away on Monday 5/22, apparently from a gunshot that occurred about 1:30am near Lyman St. and Faneuil St. According to a gofundme set up to support his family, Shelson was also known as JJ and was a 22 year-old alum of Waltham High School. Waltham Police and the district attorney are investigating the shooting and so far no additional details have been made public.
This weekend is the first weekend a portion of Moody St. is closed to cars this year under the new "hybrid" plan that allows for outdoor dining but with more restrictions than in past years. Moody St. from High St. to Pine St. will be closed to cars Thursday evening through Sunday, as well as some holiday Mondays , from now through September 25. According to a WCAC article, business owners have mixed feelings about the new arrangement but 12 restaurants as well as the Game Underground have applied to use outdoor space.
A few more prospective candidates have pulled papers for this year's Waltham election. They include one more person who's been part of our Channel 781 News team-- Chris Hammer, who has helped us with video production, plans to challenge Councilor Harris in Ward 8. In addition Tammy Wong-Bigelow is the first challenger to pull papers for the School Committee race, Waltham Police Officer Paul Tracey has pulled papers for Ward 3, and elementary principal Stephen Duffy plans to run at-large.
Waltham Pride is happening next Saturday, June 3 on the Waltham Common. This is the third time in Waltham's history that we've had our own Pride event, and the second year on the Common. Some of last year's popular performers will be returning including Missy Steak, Evan Greer, Toast, Katie Gullotti, Rose Bello, and Zumba with Jen, along with a new drag performer Iris Laveau. Speakers will include community members from the middle school, high school, Brandeis, a local Church, and Waltham's recently formed Trans Alliance. That's 11-4 on Saturday and if you'd like to help out, there's still time to sign up as a volunteer. We'll have Nick Hammond and Amanda Kennedy on our debrief show to talk more about th event.
In this week's city council meeting, Councilors Bradley-MacArthur, Paz, and Darcy introduces a resolution recognizing Pride month and calling for a Pride flag to fly on the Common. The council voted to approve that without committee reference.
Also in this week's meeting Councilor Paz re-submitted the housing rights notification ordinance, and the council set a date for a citizen input hearing to take place Wednesday 6/21 at 6:30pm at Government Center. That ordinance was originally proposed by Watch CDC and would require landlords to give tenants in danger of eviction information about their rights. The new version Paz submitted includes language that also protects homeowners in danger of foreclosure.
Also in recent meetings, the city council shot down a proposal to make Waltham's building codes more energy efficient. The state sets standard that require new buildings or renovations to meet a certain level of energy efficiency, but municipalities can choose to adopt "stretch codes" that require a higher standard, which Waltham has done in the past. Councilor Bradley-MacArthur submitted a resolution to adopt the latest stretch codes, which was discussed at the Public Works & Public Safety Committee on 5/15. At that meeting Councilor LaFauci argued that the standards were too difficult to meet and would cost the city money by deterring people from renovating their homes. He said that "fossil fuels are not going away" and argued that it doesn't make sense for Waltham to take steps to address climate change if not all states and countries are doing it. The committee recommended the council file the resolution with prejudice, meaning they will not take action on it and no one can submit a similar resolution for at least a year. In the following meeting the council voted to do just that despite an effort by Councilor Bradley-MacArthur to send it back to committee.
Also at this meeting neighbors showed up to oppose a proposed lodging house on Robbins street that would provide shared bedrooms for about 20 people in recovery from addictions. That was sent to committee and we'll talk about that more on our debrief show.
A proposed solar plant in Lexington near the Cambridge Reservoir and the Waltham line was approved by the Lexington Planning Board on 5/17. The City of Waltham previously went to court to prevent developers from building an access road to the plant through a Waltham neighborhood, but lost. More recently Waltham neighbors organized to pressure the Lexington government not to approve the project. At the recent council meeting Councilor Darcy requested certain city department heads come to the next meeting to discuss.
There's no city council meeting this week but committee meetings will return June 5.

Kidepo Valley National Park: A Hidden Gem in the Wild North of Uganda

Kidepo Valley National Park is a hidden gem located in the wild north of Uganda, near the border of South Sudan and Kenya. It covers an area of 1,442 square kilometers and is one of the most remote and least visited national parks in Uganda, making it a unique and exclusive destination for wildlife enthusiasts.

Wildlife Viewing and Game Drives

Kidepo Valley National Park is home to a wide range of wildlife, including several species of antelopes, zebras, giraffes, buffaloes, and elephants. The park is also home to several predators such as lions, cheetahs, and leopards.
Game drives in the park are a popular activity, as visitors can observe wildlife in their natural habitat. The park's rugged terrain and diverse landscape offer a unique game drive experience, with opportunities to spot wildlife in the valley, on the plains, and on the hills.

Bird Watching

Kidepo Valley National Park is a birdwatcher's paradise, with over 475 species of birds recorded in the park. The park is home to several bird species that are not found elsewhere in Uganda, such as the Karamoja apalis, the Somali ostrich, and the pygmy falcon.

Nature Walks and Hiking

Kidepo Valley National Park offers several nature walks and hiking trails that provide visitors with an opportunity to explore the park's scenic beauty and observe wildlife. The Lamoj Mountains Hike is a popular hike that offers panoramic views of the park and the surrounding hills.

Cultural Experiences

Kidepo Valley National Park is also home to several indigenous communities, including the Karamojong people, who have lived in the area for centuries. Visitors can learn about their culture and way of life through cultural tours and performances.

Accommodations and Accessibility

Kidepo Valley National Park is located in a remote area, and access to the park is mainly by road. However, visitors can also fly to the park's airstrip from Entebbe or other nearby airports.
The park offers a variety of accommodation options, including lodges, campsites, and safari tents, to suit different budgets and preferences.
In conclusion, Kidepo Valley National Park is a hidden gem in the wild north of Uganda that offers visitors a unique and exclusive wildlife viewing experience. With its diverse range of wildlife, scenic landscapes, and cultural experiences, Kidepo Valley National Park is a must-visit destination for any traveler to Uganda who wants to experience the country's wilderness and natural beauty.https://www.trueugandasafaris.com/

Welcome back to our story. Let's jump right in with the summary:
Amat runs on a road into the woods but can't outrun the negative thoughts and comments. Less than a year ago, he had spent too much time in the gym lifting weights that he fell on the way home and sprained his wrist. Amat kept the injury to himself. He self medicated with painkillers and alcohol. All the expectations weighed him down. Tails told his mom that if he was drafted, he could continue to play for Beartown. The club would get three hundred thousand dollars, and Amat would get more experience and wins for the team.
On the train, the secret reporter asks Maya about her dad. The reporter takes notes about Ramona because she was on the committee and still talked with Peter.
Peter visited Amat to suggest what agent he should contact. He comments that he can smell alcohol on his breath. Peter is just like the others making money off him.
Matteo's sister had gotten a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder in secret. His sister ran away two and a half years ago by saying she was to be staying at a church for "problem" kids. Then she left the country. The next call about her was news of her death. "The devil took her" according to his mom. Matteo wishes they had been born somewhere else to different parents like the Anderssons.
A mysterious man watches Amat practice. He was Lev, a "trash bandit" from a trailer park near Hed with a bad reputation. It was because he was a poor immigrant like Amat. Lev prevented Amat from buying pills. Amat confronted him the next day. Lev is only trying to help. He gives him rides home and can get proper meds for him. Lev actually listens to him and understands. Lev takes the calls from agents now.
Teemu drives through the wreckage after the storm. He has Peter take the wheel so he can text someone. The match schedule is changed so Beartown will play against Hed. Teemu tells him there are rumors that Beartown will merge with Hed now that their club's roof collapsed. Tails is behind it. Teemu hates the idea. Peter tells him he could be a tool or a weapon for the town. Teemu says it's only a temporary truce between Beartown and Hed.
At the game, they were tied and had a face off. Zackell asked Amat's opinion, and he said to give him the puck. They won, but it felt hollow. It was a test, and Amat lost.
The reporter reunites with his daughter. She tells him that how he talked to Maya was unethical. But Maya would have been on her guard if he told her the truth about himself. People think Peter is above reproach. If the two clubs merge, the evidence will be buried. The daughter has to be careful how she gathers intel or it could be taken personally. She has to live in the area. The reporter dad wants to ruin them.
Johnny comes home late in the evening from clearing the roads. Big sister Tess takes on more responsibility which makes Hannah feel guilty. Ted is obsessed with hockey and is better at it than Tobias. Ture pipes up that they have to practice in Beartown now. He overheard his dad on the phone earlier. Ted wants to see Amat train. Tobias gets in a fight with his brother. They are sent a message on their phones of a picture of the town sign with green scarves and a "GO HOME" sign below it. What a welcome. /s
Adri Ovich cleans up after the storm. The older dogs start barking because Benji came back riding a bike. He breaks into the club and sneaks onto the ice thinking of old times. He doesn't feel anything but numbness.
Maya gets a ride into Beartown from a neighbor. The door to her old home is unlocked which is only something people do in Beartown. She surprises her dad as he's getting ready for the day. He didn't think she'd know when the funeral was. Her mom comes home and tackles her in a hug.
Benji had stolen Mateo's bicycle and left it at the rink. He had fixed the chain. It figures that an entitled hockey player would steal it. On the first frost of the year, Benji visits his dad's grave.
Amat lost his temper at another player and insulted assistant coach Bobo. He sat out the rest of the games. Rumors spread that he wasn't really injured and was ungrateful to the club. Lev told him the rich men would tell him to settle for less. Peter tells Amat that he will be lower in the NHL draft but should still take it seriously. The next day, Lev sent a dishwasher for Amat's mom as a loan for when he goes pro.
Lev couldn't go to America with him. Lev's friend didn't help him much. The man he met in the hotel gym was friends with Peter and only interviewed him as a favor. Amat wasn't picked. It was all for nothing. Lev misled him, and his friend wasn't a real agent at all. Amat drank all night and was too drunk the next morning for a second chance. He came home and drank all summer.
Amat texts Bobo for help. Amat has gained weight and is out of shape. Bobo runs with him til they can't anymore. He compares Amat to the lupine, a hardy flower that grows in the ditch. He has ten months until the next NHL draft.
Mateo's sister helped him to survive school. She told him the hiding places and to stay away from the hockey guys. His sister didn't take her own advice.
Lev visits Peter to thank him for trying to help Amat. He mocks Peter when it was his fake agent who messed up Amat's chances by asking for payment from the clubs. Lev claims Ramona owed him a bunch of money. He wants to own her bar, but he doesn't have any proof. Lev uses Peter's motives for helping Amat against him. Lev threatens his wife, and Peter pushes him in a rage. The young gangster in the car comes near. Lev leaves, and Peter calls Teemu.
Maya can't believe her dad is now friends with Teemu. Ramona had to borrow money from Lev because she gave all her money to help Teemu's friend's mom. Teemu says to let him handle it.
Tess is a figure skating coach and Ted and Toby have hockey practice. But this time it will be in Beartown. Ana surprises the family when she drives their van back to their home. Tess feels like Ana should have been Hannah's daughter. Johnny shouts more at Ted because he has more to lose on the ice.
Zackell tells Bobo they will be last on the ice. She is looking to replace Amat. If he needs encouragement, it's already too late. Amat is tortured by the word "almost" and negative self talk.
Ana reunites with Maya. He dad isn't drinking the day before the funeral. Maya hears of the possible merger between Beartown and Hed. Maya talks about how people get radicalized and sectarian violence.
Teemu visits Hog at his garage. He asks for a favor: to borrow a vehicle. A man in a suit from the funeral parlor comes to Lev's scrap yard to pick up a vehicle. Teemu snuck into Lev's house and left keys and a beer glass. The vehicle is in back, and it's a hearse.
The day the rink opens to Hed, all the old rivalries and grievances come roaring back. The parents act the most immature. Bobo helps Tess and her brothers get into the locker room. They all take their turns on the ice until the figure skating practice. A fight starts, and both blame the other side. Bobo breaks it up. Tobias got a black eye. Johnny wants to fight them all, but Tess appeals to his protective instincts. As he drives back to Hed, Teemu and company threaten them.
Tails is nervous about what happened. He tells the caretaker that the two teams could be dissolved and a new club could be formed in Beartown. Teemu makes the club look bad. A council member accuses Tails of being sentimental. Tails gives Mumble a ride back to Hed.
Johnny argues with Hannah that Toby fought out of self defense. Hannah has to agree. Toby got suspended from the team. Hannah tells Johnny not to do anything stupid with his coworkers against Beartown. Ted was the one who charged out to fight, but Toby finished the job to protect Ted from getting suspended.
Extras
Marginalia
Lupines
Bigleaf lupine is an invasive species in Maine.
Questions are in the comments.
Join me next week, June 6th, for chapters 44 to 59.

My name is Alice, and my best friend for the past 9 years is Carol, we’ve have been friends since middle school when we were both 10, she was by all rites my sister, I was an only child, and she filled the void of not having any brothers or sisters of my own. We would spend most days together at my house, she was one of five siblings, her parents managed, but struggled to keep up with all the bills, so her spending nights at my house were frequent, I’m talking about 20 to 30 times a year. My parents treated her like a daughter, my mom would even spend time in private talks with her and without me, like mother, daughter talks. Of course, me and my mom had the same type of relationship, but Carol’s mom was too busy to have these kinds of talks with her, so my mom was the mother figure to her. Carol was part of our family, and we all respected each other. When she would spend those nights with me, my dad would always drive her home the next day. When my dad would take her home, he always returned 30 minutes later, but she only lived 5 minutes away, He would always walk in with a half-drunk Slurpee when he returned. I never really thought much about it then, life went on as normal. When she would spend those nights at my house for sleepovers, my mom would look in on us maybe once a night if at all, but my dad would check in 3 to 4 times and always say something or try to join in our conversations.
Fast forward 8 years, we just graduated high school, at the end of summer I was heading off to college in another state, she was going to remain in our little town and go to the state university about 20 miles away. We live in a small town 10 miles from a large city, but our town has only about 10,000 people, just enough for 2 elementaries and 1 high school so everyone knows everyone. Carol some how always had money, but she didn’t have a job, I had money from a part-time job and my parents both had great jobs, my mom was a RN for a large hospital in the city and my dad was a partner of a law firm he started right out of college and had build himself up as the top law firm in the city. He did a lot of charitable work and was on several committees helping small businesses. I could ask for anything, but they gave me just what I needed, like a car and paying for my college, the rest I tried to earn for myself. One day Carol drives up in a used car and I asked where it came from, she replied that her uncle gave it to her as a gift for her graduation. I had never heard about this uncle, she said that he was around, but didn’t get along with the rest of her family so she never spoke of him. Carol was a beautiful girl with long black hair, she hadn’t cut it since before we met, it hung down her back all the way to her butt, she always kept it in a ponytail, you could always tell it was her even from the back because it was unique. I am a pretty good-looking girl, I have no problem finding dates or boyfriends, Carol on the other hand, never once had a boyfriend, not because they didn’t ask, she would always turn them down, saying she wasn’t ready to get tied down to any guy.
One day my mother took me out to lunch and told me that she suspected my dad is having an affair, she said she looked over the bank statements, he was taking money from their accounts weekly, between 500 to 800 dollars each Friday and never had anything to show from it. She said that she may hire a PI to help her get to the bottom of it. I said let me investigate it first, I was going to college for journalism, this would be great practice for me, my dream job was to become an investigative reporter. She said okay, I have the summer, then when I left for college, if I hadn’t found anything she would hire a PI and I agreed. We finished our lunch and told her not to say anything to dad, because it would be harder to catch him if he thought she may know anything, she agreed, this would be our secret.
I told Carol about the situation, she said that she couldn’t believe my dad would ever cheat on his family, she said that both my mom and I were crazy. But said she would help me, she said that she wanted to prove he was doing nothing wrong, but she would keep an open mind. That Saturday I followed my dad as he left the house and he ended up at the library, I walked in and I saw him in the law section reading and he was alone, I walked out and sat in my car for 4 and a half hours. He drove to a restaurant, I could see him from the parking lot as he sat alone, he had a slice of pie and a soda. He left there and just took a walk to the local park, I stayed out of sight, he just sat on a park bench and pulled his phone out, texting someone for the next 30 minutes. He got up and walked back to his car and drove home. I kept driving to kill 30 minutes before returning home, I had found nothing and was disappointed with myself, but happy for my mom. I told Carol what I seen but all she said was I told you your dad’s not a cheater. I looked at her and said this was only day one and who was he texting for 30 minutes. She said maybe another lawyer. I knew she was right, I was grasping at straws, but something didn’t feel right, I was going to continue the investigation.
The following Saturday I had to work, Carol said she would follow him and take notes as to what he was doing and report back to me later that night. I thanked her, I told her she didn’t need to get involved, but she said she felt like she owed it to our family, because of all the years being treated like a daughter. That night Carol and I met up at a coffee shop and she said she followed him to a mall and he went into a bunch of stores but never bought anything, she said he was alone the entire trip other than when he went to the food court and sat with another couple, but it appeared he sat there because no other tables were open, he just sat and ate without saying anything to the couple. I thanked her and we just had a normal evening and went to see a movie. The next Saturday came up and I followed him again and he did exactly the same as I watched him two weeks ago right down to the pie and texting in the park. Carol was just too easily willing to give up, but I wasn’t done yet. She said I was wasting my time that could be better spent studying for college to get a head start. I found this very strange, she never cared about my studies while we were in school why now.
I told her I had to work on the following Saturday, she said she would watch him again. I started to get a gut feeling something was off. I took that day off and I followed them both to the mall. I put on a hoodie that I borrowed by a guy friend, I kept the hood on as I watch and videoed them from my phone as my dad and Carol walked the mall hand in hand, stopping at stores as he bought her clothes, shoes, and they even stopped into a jewelry store and looked at rings together, I had it all on tape. When they left, I continued to follow as they took my dad’s car to a motel, and I saw him get the key from the office and signal her to join him. They both walked into the room. As I was waiting, I was livid, how could my best friend do this to our family. 3 hours later they emerge from the room, he returns the key, then they drive back to the mall, and they say their goodbyes with a long kiss. He drove home and Carol called me as she was still sitting in the mall parking lot to tell me, she watched him all day, but he just walked the mall like her previous investigation, but I knew the truth. I didn’t say anything and thanked her for all her time.
I needed to find out when it started and I just knew it was on her phone, so I went to her house and was immediately told she was in her room. I walked in to see her reading a book, I said I just met these two amazing guys, they wanted to meet up at a new under 21 dance club. She was reluctant to go, but I pleaded with her, she said she had to wash her hair and get ready. This is what I was hoping for, as soon as I heard the shower, I opened her phone messenger and started typing in my dad’s phone number, the name Michael showed up, my dad’s name is Tony. I open the texts and there are thousands of them going back to when she was just 15 years old, the first text was her thanking him for her new phone. I forwarded the entire chat to my home PC and it took 20 minutes. There were so many, I closed her phone just in time for her to re-enter the room. We went to the dance club, I said I didn’t see them, they never existed so of course I didn’t see them, so we left after about an hour. Went to get a bite to eat and drove her home.
That night I spent it going through all of the text starting from the first one and documenting them all. There were talks about how much she enjoyed sharing a Slurpee with him before he dropped her off from our sleepovers. And the car that he bought her, not the uncle as she told me, my freaking dad bought her a car. I even had proof when they had sex for the first time, when she was 16. It also was a bunch of thank yous, for paying for her car insurance and the money my dad had given her weekly, that’s why she always had money. I put this on a thumb drive along with the edited video I had taken during the day. I made 6 copies of the thumb drives, I placed them into envelopes and on the outside it was typed LAWYER IS A CHILD MOLESTER. Inside I had typed a cover sheet stating that a prominent lawyer in the city, was a child molester and the proof was in the thumb drive included.
I had one bit of revenge for my best friend, I asked her out for dinner at the restaurant I worked at, she agreed, I set the table up where her back was facing the kitchen, I went to get our dinner or she thought, when I returned I was so quiet, I walked up as she was writing a text to my dad. I took her hair as I had done many times before, she slammed her phone down on the table face down. And I said how nice it looked today, pulled out the freshly sharpened knife and a final how nice it looked, I lopped it off as she sat there, I walked next to our table as she was grabbing the back of her head, I dropped the ponytail on the ground as I stared into her eyes. She immediately tried to pick up her hair as if she could glue it back on or something, I said this is what you get for having an affair with my dad.
I had sent the thumb drives to the city mayor, the DA’s office, The police department, The local news station one to her parents and one I gave to my mother. When Carol got home the reporters were already camped out on her front lawn. When I returned home, we had news crews and cameras staking out our house also, along with 3 police cars, I watched my dad being taken out of the house wearing handcuffs. He was arrested and will lose everything. I was consoling my mom, when we got a call from CNN looking for a statement, I declined, but was told this was going to get aired tonight, so this was our chance to make a statement, but we still declined. I turned on the TV and my dad was everywhere, every station local news and network news stations. He was on the front page of our local newspaper and the city newspaper. His story was even in the New York post.
Mom and I took a long vacation and disappeared for the next month and let things calm down. When we returned my dad had moved all his clothes out of the house, now he lives in a rundown apartment trying to find a lawyer that will work for him. Carol was kicked out of her family’s home due to the disgrace she brought onto her family, Carol left our town due to shame. Nobody that I know knows where she went or what happened to her, I guess the police must know because she will have to testify against my father at some point. We are still in the thick of things, but I have put college off for the near future to help my mom as this works through the courts and as she files for divorce. We are going to family counseling and trying to piece our lives back together. My dad faces so many charges starting with child molestation because of the text when the first sexual encounter was, he is also facing charges for manipulation of a minor for sexual purposes, and other charges stemming from his affair. He is looking at a possible 10 years of incarceration. I have no feeling for either of them, they manipulated me and my mom for years, they can both rot in hell for all they did to us.

i’m a server at a local restaurant near the river. it gets really busy around the summertime & i love meeting new people there. i’ve never had an issue serving at this restaurant but during my last shift i got double sat with two large parties. this kinda messed up my flow and i was handling both of these tables at once to make everything quicker.
my original table that i had before getting double sat was losing their patience with me. their drinks needed to be refilled and they wanted cocktail sauce. when i bought them their food i said i’ll be back with the cocktail sauce and i decided to refill their drinks when i get back to them. i was on my way back to the table holding the sauce when the lady from the original furiously asks why it takes so long for me to simply get cocktail sauce. they were being snippy before, so i lost my cool and said “i’m sorry, i’m busy and you guys are not my only table.”
the lady angrily responded with “we all waited tables here sweetheart.” and called the manager over. the manager took their side and cut me early. when i was giving the manager my checkout she asked why i did what i did. i said “i shouldn’t have lost my cool but they were giving me a hard time.” she wrote me up and said “i won’t fire you this time but don’t do something like this again bc it reflects badly on us.”
i agree with her but i also know im not a rude person by any means and i was already stressed out. i’m a good server and it’s frustrating that a bad customer could convince a manager to fire me so easily. how would you guys handle a situation like this?

So Reddit I need to know if anyone can explain to me if I should pursue this. My boyfriend keeps telling me to talk to a lawyer over this but I’m not sure if it’s a waste of time or not. So here it goes, I started working at a family owned restaurant near by my house bc I needed some extra money. It was sketch, but the tips were good and I knew it would only be temporary for me, in the sense that I planned to leave soon. I messed up and rang an order wrong, and at the end of the night the boss wanted me to pay for it. I told him that was not legal, and he said “if you can’t follow my rules, you can’t work here” and he wrote me a check for my tips (no cash here, tips are a weekly check). And basically told me to leave. He also said he only pays $5 an hour, when the wage is 7.98 here in Florida for serve tip based jobs. I never got an actual check yet bc I only worked there for less than a month. Is this worth pursuing? Or should I just file a complaint with the wage/labor division. Thanks in advance! I also did not sign any paperwork/ handbook, or anything like that to confirm that I knew of any “rules”,, even though his rules are illegal.

My now-wife and I just had our wedding this past weekend. I'll try to summarize the past year and a half as best I can.
My wife and I had gender neutral wedding parties, as my "best man" was my childhood friend who is like a sister to me, and we have some friends who are non-binary as well. We got engaged in October 2021 and asked these people to be in our wedding parties in January 2022. We had no dress requirements other than the colors. We wanted everyone to be comfortable and not stuck to something the did not want to wear, couldn't afford, etc. Our only request was to look cohesive in the photos.
Things started to go bad in the summer of '22 when the trips started to be planned. My "best man" is a full time medical student, so time and money are in short supply. However, she still went above and beyond to get my bachelor trip planned and paid for, which I am so grateful for. I learned that the planning process was awful thanks to some of my other groomsmen. Only my best man and one other person ended up going due to cost concerns from the others. Money isn't my business, but they acted like saving $500 over the course of four months was impossible, all while wearing Rolexes and driving brand new cars.
My wife's bachelorette trip to Florida proved to be no easier. Her original MOH ended up being asked to step down because she literally would not do anything and would go weeks without answering any messaging from my wife. My wife's SIL ended up stepping in as MOH and thankfully got the ball rolling. Her MOH gave everybody a cost breakdown so that everyone could approve the costs and plan ahead. Long story short, they waited too long and flights went way up in price, and had to drive 12 hours to Florida. The biggest other stress of the trip was a bridesmaid who used any possible second to talk about her own hypothetical wedding instead of focusing on the literal bride on her bachelorette trip. So her trip was not the relaxing trip it was intended to be.
Throughout that whole process, we received near zero help or interest from them. I'm skipping over so much stuff because so many things happened that I've forgotten. That same bridesmaid who couldn't stop talking about her fake wedding had to be scolded by the MOH because she did it during our entire wedding rehearsal and even pulled our venue event coordinator aside to talk about her wedding at OUR REHEARSAL. On the day of the wedding, we received no cards or gifts from anyone in the wedding party, and only a handful of congratulations. We were also left to clean up the wedding party suites alone on our wedding day. They all left early.
These were some of our best friends, but when we got engaged a switch flipped and everything changed.

After a relaxing European vacation with one of his employees, Mark Schaming, director of the New York State Museum, is back and ready to get to work. All who know the man will tell you that he's displayed new energy and ambition after Chris Churchill of the Times Union insinuated that he is unfit in his job as director of the New York State Museum. As Mr. Churchill writes:

The full-sized carousel, up on the fourth floor, has been closed for maintenance for years. The museum's famous subway car is also off-limits, with a sign telling visitors it's closed for repairs. Discovery Place, the building's hands-on learning center for young kids, is also closed.
Those aren't the only disappointments. The State Museum no longer offers a restaurant or any sort of fresh food, forcing visitors to line up at vending machines to quell their grumbling tummies. Some escalators and elevators are out of service. The museum, on the whole, feels forgotten.

From the imposing stone edifice of the Cultural Education Center, Mr. Schaming is cognizant of the cries of the people. This reporter can confirm from a recent visit that Discovery Place has reopened after only three years of closure. JP O'Hare, a spokesperson for the State Museum, explained the long closure, saying that "the pandemic forced us to rethink touchable exhibits."
Visitors to the newly reopened Discovery Place will see that the State Museum has taken to heart rethinking touching exhibits, as it is clear the room has been largely untouched after years of "rethinking" and "renovation." From a cursory glance, it seems to me that the only changes are the removal of all books, toys, puzzles, handouts, and staff.
Now, as a scattering of sources indicate, the New York State Museum approaches its pièce de résistance, the reopening of its carousel which has been closed since 2019. After much digging, it appears the cause of the closure was some minor damage the carousel experienced when it violently (and potentially lethally?) exploded during regular operation. Thinking it unsafe to have metal suspension beams swinging about and shrapnel flying as children rode the carousel, a repair effort was initiated.
The century-old artifact was ridden into the ground (or, technically, helicoptered into the air) once due to poor operating conditions, but the people of Albany ought feel confident that mistakes were learned from. Previously the carousel was operated nearly constantly and without proper care in place to keep the artifact balanced. Although unconfirmed, word is that now the carousel will be operated nearly constantly and without proper care in place to keep the artifact balanced. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, but I call going in circles a carousel.
Fortunately for the carousel, it looks like staffing constraints will interfere with the planned constant operation of the carousel. This is being swiftly addressed by Mr. Schaming, though not by hiring new staff. Rather, as at least one source indicated, Mr. Schaming is currently interested in changing the job descriptions of people in different departments to include carousel operation.
It may seem strange that Mr. Schaming is reticent to staff his museum, but the reader must understand the important considerations behind these decisions. One must first be aware that in 2015 the New York State Museum received $14 million in funds for a massive three to four year renovation. As Paul Grondahl of the Times Union wrote in 2015:

The State Museum will undergo a $14 million renovation that will dramatically re-imagine the exhibits with dynamic technology, interactive displays and a fresh form of narrative storytelling.
When the work is finished in three to four years, it will represent the largest upgrade to the capital city's most popular tourist attraction since it opened in 1976 at the newly built Empire State Plaza.

The expected completion date is in the rear view mirror, and it's now common knowledge that the $14 million gas tank is mostly fumes. Although it has been difficult to unravel exact information, best evidence suggests that currently the State Museum has $5 million still in the pocket. It's time for tightening the belt, and part of that looks to be staffing cuts.
One may be concerned that Mark Schaming, director of the New York State Museum, is having difficulty performing his job. Fortunately the director of the New York State Museum is overseen by the Deputy Commissioner of Cultural Education, who is also Mark Schaming.
One may then be concerned that Mark Schaming, director of the New York State Museum and Deputy Comissioner of Cultural Education, is having difficulty performing his two jobs. Fortunately the director of the New York State Museum who is also the Deputy Commissioner of Cultural Education is overseen by Sharon Cates-Williams. Ms. Williams, who herself holds the two jobs of Deputy Commissioner of Performance Improvement & Management Services (PIMS) and Executive Deputy Commissioner, stated to Mr. Churchill on the matter:

I think he's doing a good job wearing two hats. It does not interfere with the core mission of the museum, and it's a decision that we stand by.

One may then be concerned that Sharon Cates-Williams, herself wearing two hats and self-supervising, may have some biases. Fortunately the Deputy Commissioner of PIMS who is also the Executive Deputy Commissioner reports to Betty A. Rosa, the Commissioner of Education.
Dr. Rosa has served as Commissioner of Education since 2021 when she, as Chancellor of the Board of Regents, elected herself Commissioner of Education. Unlike others, she gave up her former position as Chancellor of the Board of Regents upon her self-election. It is unclear how she feels about others who do not likewise content themselves with wearing only one hat.
Perhaps we soon will have an opportunity to ask Dr. Rosa. Although details are sparse, it has been indicated that Mr. Schaming is planning a victory celebration for managing to successfully reopen the carousel after four years. Specifics on the event and even the exact date have been infuriatingly kept under wraps, but it is speculated that Mark Schaming and Betty A. Rosa plan to celebrate this monumental occasion by giving speeches and riding on the carousel with elementary school students.
We can safely say that the sun is rising on the New York State Museum. After only four years the State Museum has managed to successfully "renovate" Discovery Place through the power of downsizing and is on the cusp of reopening the carousel under the same conditions which led to its prior destruction. With only $5 million remaining in the pocket and only running about five years behind schedule on a grand renovation, who knows what wonders we can expect in the years to come.

What Is The Aurelian Empire?
The Aurelian Empire is a peaceful and diplomatic civilisation in the universe of "No Man's Sky". Originating in the Western edges of the Eissentam Galaxy. The Empire, throughout its history has expanded - through conquest or diplomacy - to encompass and directly rule a total of 266 systems, all of which centre around the home system of Regnum Solis.
The desire of the Empire is to invite and spread knowledge, experience, kindness, generosity, science and reason across the myriad of stars that make up the known universe. This community will be ever-present to contribute, aid and guide all travellers in their journey across the cosmos, no matter what form it may need to take.
So the legend has been told, two thousand years ago, the near-mythical founder of the Empire was born on the world of Alexandria Primus to humanoid parents. Named Aurelian by his mother and father, whose names were Isha and Tarrick, he lived a simple life for twenty-six years before necessity called for him to found his great Empire.
As the years has passed, the knowledge and teachings of Aurelian were passed from generation to generation, paving the way for an advanced and wealthy society of thinkers and scholars, architects and artists, scientists and inventors, explorers and pathfinders, who above all valued logic, reason, generosity and good will to all. These teachings, being exercised in the hands of Aurelian's descendants, have allowed the Empire to reach out into the stars and leave their mark on the universe.
Our histories, lore and legends are of paramount importance to us and our identity and so we protect them fervently.
Who Are The Citizens Of The Empire?
The citizens of the Aurelian Empire are known individually as a Praetorix, or plurally as Praetorixa . They can be identified by the colour of their capital ships, suits and bases, being styled in the traditional black, white and red of the Empire. They choose to dedicate themselves to acquiring, freely sharing and teaching the knowledge and experiences they have gained with any who would seek it, free of monetary compensation, however no freely given donation will be turned away.
Within the Empire, there are various other ranks and titles by which citizens are known. There is no superiority or authority gained over any other citizen of the Empire by attaining a particular rank or title, rather it is a signifier of experience. The following ranks and titles, save for Praetorix, can only be granted by the Emperor of the Empire. They are as follows, (singulaplural) in order from "highest" to "lowest":

• Hetaera/Hetaeroi
• Strategos/Strategoi
• Legate/Legata
• Tribune/Tribuna
• Prefect/Prefecta
• Centurio/Centuria
• Praetorix/Praetorixa.

True citizens of the Empire, no matter their rank or title, who are flying our standard in any capacity, will never bare any ill will towards another traveller, whether they be a citizen or not. They will come open-palmed, and open-armed, present good will, kindness, generosity and an eagerness to assist in any way they can. They will accept and respect your opinions, life/playstyle and philosophies. They will gather and impart upon you also, inspiration, knowledge, experience and friendship from every encounter.
Who Is The Current Emperor Of The Aurelian Empire?
The current Emperor of the Aurelian Empire is a humanoid being known as Tiberius Magna Aurelianus, the last name being that of the founder of the Empire as per tradition. The official title of the Emperor is Invictus Imperator, and so the official title of the current Emperor would be Invictus Imperator Tiberius Magna Aurelianus.
The Emperor does not rule as an absolute monarch (thought hat is the extent of his power), however, and does hold close an inner circle known as Concilium Ferrum or the Council Of Iron. This inner circle is made up exclusively of the most experienced Hetaeroi, and acts not only as an advisory body to the Emperor himself but also as governors and diplomats of the ever-growing Empire.
What Happens If You Join The Aurelian Empire? You:

• Team up with other citizens of the Empire. Build, Learn, Discover and Create with friends and fellow citizens to help realise the dream of the Aurelian Empire. Farms, outposts, observatories, meeting halls, public forums and more, all creations are welcome.
• Can contribute to the ever-growing, friendly and dedicated community of new and experienced players alike. Donate rare and advanced goods and materials, share tips and tricks, pass on knowledge and experience or just hang out with your fellow citizens.
• Can make yourself familiar with the traditions, celebrations and lore of the Aurelian Empire.
• Can freely submit your own character lore to u/PoisonPanc4ke for approval into the histories of the Aurelian Empire.
• Will bare the colours of the empire on your suit, ships and bases (black, white and red).
• Name any system claimed in the name of the Empire as follows: Regnum (insert given name). E.g. Regnum Solis
• Do not have to find a new star ship that is in the colours of the Empire. The Emperor acknowledges and appreciates that the ideal starship is hard to come by and does not come with the options to change its colour.
• Will maintain a friendly, patient and tolerant attitude to all other travellers and citizens of the Empire.

Supra Astra Ad Victoriam (Beyond The Stars To Victory)
Current moderators are:
u/PoisonPanc4ke

I spent 2 weeks traveling through Japan - Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto and I'm writing this for those who are thinking about visiting. To preface, I did travel with a friend but spent a lot of time on my own. I'll cover as much as possible.
Pre-Trip
I booked a flight with American Airlines / Delta Airlines for $590 round-trip three months before departing.
I flew out of Los Angeles to Tokyo (Haneda). The trip started on February 9 and ended on February 20. I booked my accommodation before arriving in Japan. I used Hostelworld and Agoda. More about the hostels and hotels I booked are below.
COVID Screening and Visa information for US Citizens only
During the time I visited, Japan still required visitors to be fully vaccinated and have a pre-screening for arrival. First I had to do a pre-screening for American Airlines on VeriFly (please do this a day before checking in at the airport if so). Then, save yourself time and use Visit Japan Web (http://vjw-lp.digital.go.jp/en/) and do the pre-screening requirements a couple of days before departure.
When you land in Tokyo, immediately after deplaning, swaths of airport personnel ask if you have the screener filled out and ready to go. If you don’t, they put you to the side and ask you to fill it out using the airport’s wifi. It takes time and you still have to go through customs after.
Visas for US citizens is a free, 3-month visa if I recall correctly. Bring your COVID vaccination card just in case they ask for it.
Tech/Phone
I took my iPhone 14 Pro (unlocked) and connected buying Ubigi 10gb data plan. Do this before flying to Japan. When you land, you can activate your data plan directly on your phone. I didn’t get pocket wifi as the Ubigi worked perfectly.
Download the Ubigi app. They give instructions but please follow them.
Apps that I used:
Google Maps: you can download offline maps.
Google Translate: Use this everywhere you go. You can use the camera feature and it can translate Japanese to English really great. It saved me a lot of hassle when ordering at restaurants.
Currency Converter
You might want to download a VPN if you want to use Netflix and such. Express VPN is one I’d recommend.
Money/Currency
I took my Charles Schwab debit card and a backup Chase credit card/Chase debit card. Surprisingly, a lot of stores in Japan are cash-heavy; especially small shops and restaurants. My budget for the trip was $2000 with flights included.
Hostels and hotels were around $20-35 USD. Food prices were about $7-$20 a meal. It can get really expensive if you eat at fine dining restaurants. That being said, I stuck to eating mostly at hole-in-the-wall establishments where no English was spoken. Believe me when I say that the best ramen I ever had was only $7 USD. More on what restaurants I recommend are down below. If you really want to save money, don’t buy alcohol.
A solid budget for me was $60-$80 per day without lodging expenses. Some days, I only spent $40 which was all food (I spare no expense for food), then some days I went over because I bought cool souvenirs for myself and some excursions were pricey. You can visit Japan for less but I didn’t want to money pinch myself because I was only there for 2 weeks.
Transportation
I love Japan for this reason. So here’s my take: If you are visiting Japan for exactly 14 days; get the JR Pass on Klook. You buy this a month before departing your home country. For me, Klook delivered it about a week after I bought it over Mail. You could buy either a 7, 14, or 21-day JR pass so I would recommend planning a trip that matches these exact number of days to get the most out of your money.
Now imagine you’re in Japan. It is your first day officially visiting…go to a JR Pass office at any major train station and ask them to redeem your pass. They will ask for the paper ticket that arrived in the mail to your home and they will ask for your passport. After they verify that it is you, they will give you a small ticket which will be your JR pass. DO NOT LOSE THIS! I believe they will not replace it. On how to use it, check out this video.
Now to navigate, I used a combination of Google Maps and Apple Maps to get around. Use whichever one is more comfortable for you. These 2 apps are really exceptional at mapping out the best routes and the times trains depart. Note: the JR Pass only works for JR rail lines! Tokyo/Kyoto/Osaka all have their own subways and train lines with their own payment system. More on this…
So the best way to get around the city is using a Suica card. These are sold virtually at any train station. If you can't find it, ask a train station attendant and say “Suica?”. They point you in the right direction.
A Suica card can be refilled unlimited times and can be used for any rail lines (JR included, but not for Bullet Trains). It is used by tapping at the turnstiles to enter the rails and at any vending machine in Japan! Also at arcades! It is a total mindblower haha Also in Tokyo, some hostels or hotels have a 3-day subway pass for cheap.
Bullet Trains - You can use the Shinkansen bullet trains if you have the JR Pass. Make an important note: You can only ride the Hikari or Sakura trains with your JR Pass. The Nozomi and Mizuho are reserved seating and cost extra because they have fewer stops. If they catch you using these rail lines, they will ask you to get off the next stop or worse, fine you and report you. To see Mount Fuji from Tokyo to Kyoto/Osaka, sit on the right side of the train (right side of the direction it is going). Use Google Maps and Apple Maps to pinpoint when to look out the window.
Food
I usually ate sandwiches and pastries from 7-Eleven in the morning or whenever I needed to pack a lunch. It was a great way to save cash and the food was delicious. High-quality foods and snacks.
As I said earlier, I really spare no expense for good, big meals. I save money at 7-Eleven so I can go all out for lunch and dinner. My go-to meal was usually ramen because it was so damn good. I tried a lot of foods. I’ll try and remember which ones I ate: - Ramen - Okonomiyaki - Unagi - Katsu Curry - Taiyaki - Tempura - Japanese cheesecake - Macha ice cream - Macha waffles - Onigiri - And a lot of different ice creams, confectionary snacks - McDonald’s - please try lol they have interesting combinations
Pack List
I used a 40-liter Osprey backpack.
1 scarf
1 beanie
2 cotton t-shirts
2 thermal polyester long-sleeve shirts (Odor resistant)
2 pairs of joggers
1 pair of Nike thermal leggings
8 pairs of Nike Dri-Fit boxers (lost 1)
4 pairs of ankle socks
3 pairs of Darn Tough Merino wool blend socks (Highly recommend, Odor resistant)
1 parka
1 pair of Adidas Ultraboost shoes
1 Hershel toiletries bag
2 Forge cable combination locks
External battery pack (13000 mAh)
Bose QC-25 noise-canceling headphones
Over the course of the trip, I bought a much-needed 30L Patagonia day backpack
I don’t sweat heavily so I re-wore my shirts, the Merino wool blend socks, and joggers. I did my laundry maybe once or twice at the hostels. It was freezing at the time I went, so I usually layered up when temperatures were lower than usual.
Safety
I am a 6'1" (1.85 m) male with a light brown complexion. I felt safe most of my time there. I think it was the safest country I have ever been to. Some Japanese people are known to be racist but I didn’t experience it. So I wouldn’t worry about it.
Itinerary/Activities
Feb 9 Day 1 Tokyo Feb 10 Day 2 Tokyo Feb 11 Day 3 Tokyo (Day Trip to Odiaba/Yokohama) Feb 12 Day 4 Osaka Feb 13 Day 5 Osaka (Day Trip to Hime-ji Castle/Kobe) Feb 14 Day 6 Osaka (Day Trip to Nara) Feb 15 Day 7 Kyoto Feb 16 Day 8 Kyoto Feb 17 Day 9 Kyoto Feb 18 Day 10 Tokyo Feb 19 Day 11 Tokyo Feb 20 Day 12 Tokyo (Fly Out)
I will put a star (*) next to anything that I highly recommend! 2 stars are for more emphasis! I will list the accommodation first, then activities, and then bars/restaurants.
Tokyo - 3 Nights (Asakusa + Akihabara + Odaiba + Yokohama)
Lodging: Sakura Hostel Asakusa
Activities: *Tokyo National Museum, *Senso-ji Temple, Kaminarimon Gate, Nakamise-dori Street, *Sengaku-ji Temple, Hirose Entertainment Yard arcade, Animate Akihabara, **Mandarake Complex Akihabara, Tsukiji Outer Fish Market, TeamLabs Odaiba, Gundam Yokohama, NISMO Museum Yokohama, Nissan Headquarters Yokohama
Restaurants/Bars: Fuji Ramen Asakusa, Asakusa Unana, *Naruto Taiyaki, *Koyangi Asakusa, *Ouzakura Ramen Yokohama
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka
Osaka - 3 Nights (Kobe + Nara)
Lodging: Backstage Osaka Hostel
Activities: *Hime-ji Castle, *Kaiyukan Aquarium, Dontonbori, Shinsekai, Round 1 Stadium (arcade), *Nunobiki Waterfall Kobe, *Todai-ji Temple, *Nara Park, Kasuga Taisha Temple, Gilco Sign
Restaurants/Bars: *Wakakusa Curry Nara, *Nakatanidou Nara, *cafe CROCO Nara, Fanny Mae Bar Osaka, Rikuro’s Namba Main Branch, PC and Retro Bar Space Station, Bible Club Bar Osaka, Untitled karaoke bar next to Rock Bar Cherry Bomb lol, Takoyaki Wanaka Sennichimae Osaka, Sushi Dokoro Kuromonsuehiro Osaka, *Dotombori Ichiaki Osaka, *Hamamoto Coffee Himeji, Tairku Ramen Kobe
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Osaka to Kyoto
Kyoto - 3 Nights (Day Trip to Uji)
Lodging: **Gojo Guesthouse
Activities: Otagi Nembutsu-ji Temple, Adashino Mayumura (closed when I arrived early), Arashiyama Bamboo Grove, *Tenryu-ji Temple, Togetsukyo Bridge, *Nishiki Market, *pocoapoco Record Store, Super Milk Record Store, *Fushimi Inari Taisha Temple Complex, *Byodo-In Temple Restaurants/Bars: *comorebi Ramen House, 茶室 tea room Uji, *Gion Duck Noodles, 自家製麺 うどん 讃式
Took a Shinkansen bullet train from Kyoto to Tokyo - Saw a glimpse of Mount Fuji :’)
Tokyo - 2 Nights (Shinjuku + Shibuya + Akihabara)
Lodging: **Capsule Hotel Anshin Oyado Shinjuku Station (Males Only)
Activities: Tower Records Shinjuku, Disk Union Shinjuku, Mandarake Complex Shibuya, Nakano Broadway, Tokyo Dome for Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, *Shibuya Sky at Night, Tokyu Hands Shop
Restaurants/Bars: Ramen Kaijin, Shakey’s, McDonald’s, Ichiran Nakano
Tips, Advice, and Bonus Stuff!

1. Goes without saying but please respect the local customs.
   
2. Please learn how to say “Thank You” in Japanese! Just learning and using “Arigato” anywhere you go will make you seem like you care and respect everyone. Nothing was more embarrassing than watching an American say “thank you” to a Japanese person.
   
3. Plan to do the major tourist attractions early in the morning. You will get nice pictures without any tourists and you’ll sometimes get the whole temple complex to yourself. The staff will also be more friendly and willing to chat with you. I usually aim to be at temples around 7:00 when they open.
   
4. Use Google Translate for everything! You can have full conversations with friendly Japanese people when using the conversation feature on the app! Use the camera feature to translate Kanji at restaurants that do not offer an English menu.
   
5. Get a Ubigi data plan, I bought 10GB and it had good service anywhere I went. Get more GB if you plan on staying longer.
   
6. I ate at 7-Eleven most of the time when I was too lazy or tired to go out. The 7-Elevens here in Japan are nothing like the ones in the US. Expect to find high-quality sandwiches, Onigiri, and more Japanese snacks.
   
7. Shop at supermarkets near the end of the day (1 hour before closing) and they usually mark down prepped meals half-off or at a discounted price! If you really on a budget, this can help you to save a ton of money and still get a taste of the local cuisine.
   
8. If you need to buy random stuff like clothes, bags, or toiletries; go shop at any Don Quijote or Tokyu Hands department store. They have other shops too that are great to find cool stuff.
   
9. Use Google Translate to translate English to Kanji (Japanese) and use Kanji to find restaurants that are hidden because they don’t use English words. For example, if you want to find the best ramen place, search “拉麺” and you’ll find hidden gems with 5-star reviews!
   
10. The best souvenir I brought back myself was a Goshuincho. These are “honorable stamp/seal book” used by people visiting shrines or temples. If you want more info, google this! I highly recommend doing this!
    

If you have any questions, comment below or send a DM. Peace!

Author’s note : Everything’s free to use and monetize or paywall as you wish, just remember to credit me please.
Summary, reader perspective : You’ve been hiding how you feel but your friend notices you became silent and call you to check on you.
​
[ ] = stage directions
*\* = sound effects
​
*phone ringing\*
[Embarrassed speaker]
Hello ?
Hi.
I’m fine. How about you ?
Oh.. yeah.. mmh.. I was busy.
Things. So what’s new?
Mmh I see.. that’s nice!
[Starting to get annoyed]
Why are you calling then? Something I can help you with?
Well I’ve told you, I’m doing ok. Don’t worry. You all have been busy too, it’s life I guess. Sometimes you don’t talk much with people, that’s all.
[Kinda Sad]
Oh you have? Well good for you then, you kept in touch…
[A little upset]
Wait. You talk about me with the others? You can just come ask me, you know! For the past months, I’ve shown everyone I’m open, haven’t I?
No..
Wha..
Hey! Why are you getting angry?
No. I’ve told you I’m fine.
I…
*sigh\*
I don’t want to talk about it.
Because it’s pointless. There is nothing you can do.
[speaker giving up and telling how they feel]
OK.
For example, I laid down in bed for days. Wanting to disappear. Everyone seems to go on with their lives. Without me. It’s normal, I know. But it still hurts to see every friend go away like that. Happy?
It’s just.. ok..
Like.. I felt so close to a lot of you and now.. I don’t know.. Sometimes it’s like you’re strangers. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. You don’t think of me when you do a group thing, you don’t invite me or even ask if I want to come.
When you need help, you find me. And that’s ok! I’ve told everyone I’ll be there no matter what. But.. I don’t know.. I’m not a psychiatrist. You can’t go to me just when things are bad. And since..
[pause]
No it’s nothing.
OK. Well, since you’re all with your girlfriends and boyfriends, you don’t have time for a lot of things beside them and you’re happy and all and it’s great. But, that means you don’t need me anymore. So I don’t see you. Cause I was there when things were bad, and now they’re not. So.. Makes sense. But it still hurts.
Well… I know you’re all very sweet and kind, but I won’t be the one coming with my problems everyday. I’m not like that.
I just don’t want to ruin everyone’s mood with how sad and lonely I feel.
No. You don’t get it. You don’t know loneliness like I do. Look, I am really happy for everyone. And I don’t want any negative vibes for you. You all deserve your happiness. I don’t want to bring anything bad to it. It’s not worth it.
Hu.. I guess.. yeah.. it does mean I’m not worth it…
How do you want me to feel otherwise?!
I see every friend, everyone I care about being happy and all getting into good relationships. I want that too, people say all these good things about me and yet I’m still alone and nowhere near to be with anyone! I did lose hope a long time ago!
Nothing you could say can make me change my mind. Until someone I’m interested in AND interested in me too, someone available and reachable, someone with whom it’s possible, until someone like that comes, how do you want me to have any hope left?
No they’re not coming. How could they come? From where? People don’t fall from the sky!
I have tried all that.. I guess it’s just not meant to be.
How do you want me to keep hope when even my friends leave me? People saying they miss me every day, they can’t live without me anymore, that it will be so bad.. And Yet, they don’t text, they don’t call. Nothing.
And when I do have someone I have some sort of connection with, something makes it impossible.
It’s pointless.. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it. There is nothing you can do to change that, how I feel. So I didn’t want to bring it up. It will just make you feel bad for me and you don’t need that, I don’t need that.
How do you want to help me? Do you know someone I could spend my life with? Someone who will suit me?
Cause yeah I might be desperate, but I won’t do like most people my age and just go out with someone to not be alone. I’ve been alone for so long, I can keep it that way. I don’t know for how long. But I won’t engage in something I don’t believe in.
Huu.. What do I mean by what?
Oh.
Mmh well.. I’m not suicidal.. But.. Right now at least.. I just.. I don’t want to be here ok? I want to disappear. But.. I won’t take my life. Don’t worry. Just.. If something happens.. I mean.. I wouldn’t mind really..
You asked..
What about my friends? They’ll be fine.
You all have someone to support you if you think it’ll be so unbearable to lose me, don’t worry. You’ll be fine.
Hey… Stop crying. I’m not dead yet.
Hey… It’s alright. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..
See.. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it.
I know I can talk to you about anything.. It’s just.. It’s hard.
Maybe it’s not the right way to think, but my brain is made like this. I don’t want to bother people with things they have no control over.
I know you care and maybe you could handle that. I don’t know. But some people won’t.
And I don’t see why you would want to know something bad that you can’t change.
Yeah you right. Isolating myself would probably make it worse. But it’s not like I want to go out or do anything right now..
Yeah that’s kind of a bad spiral..
Are you kidding? Go out now? Did you not listen to me just now?
What do you have in mind?
Drink?
*laughing\*
You know how to talk to me..
Yeah I would like that, but you drive then !

I’ll start off saying I’m 22 turning 23 at the end of the year so I know this is the best time to decide what I want to do in life. I grew up in a small town in Arkansas and straight out of high school I went to work at a local boat trailer company as a welder and over the 4 years I was there worked my way up to shop supervisor. Made good money for the area and it was an easy job, didn’t really have to do much just order materials, but there was no benefits. So I started looking for more welding jobs near me and landed a welding job in Texarkana, TX with good health, dental, vision insurance. I took a pay cut as I had to start from the bottom and work my way up again but am quickly realizing this career route is not for me. Straight out of high school I enjoyed welding, idk if it’s because I had a supervisor position for 1 1/2 years or what but I just can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand getting burns, which comes with welding, as it leaves scabs and I get looks from people cause it looks like drugs. The days drag by and I only look forward to the gym after work and hanging out with friends on the weekend. I’m not a lazy person, even though what I just said may make people think otherwise, I want to work I just don’t want to work in rough conditions.
I’ve considered just quitting and working as a cook at a restaurant as I honestly think I’d enjoy it more than what I’m doing. I’m not sure what job would fit me, my mom tells me I should become a personal trainer as I’m really into the gym, I track all the food I eat, I take care of myself, even though that can be hard just considering the job environment I’m in now. Only problem I can see with being a trainer is I’m not much of a people person, though that may change if I actually enjoyed my work environment. Only other career I could maybe see is a mechanic, as I like working on trucks, cars, and bikes.
So with all that I hope someone could help guide me in a direction, whether it’s trainer, mechanic, or something completely different. If y’all have any questions that’s would help guide me feel free to ask.

Welcome to Green Valley

Four Merry Jaunts Through in the Bumpkin Quest Campaign

It’s a big world filled with far off folks who have far off problems. In the quaint farming town of Hills Furrow that has certainly not been the case. Here life is simple, local, and paced by the seasons. There ain’t been a need for “Venturers” and their ilk since your Papaw was just a sprout. However, the winds of change are blowin, and things are about to git just a bit more exciting round these parts.
Welcome to Green Valley, The down-home home of Rural Fantasy Misadventures and Grass-Roots Shenanigans. The Valley is Filled with Colorful Characters, Brimming with Odd Ball Neighbors, and has more than a few Local Yokels. Welcome to Bumpkin Quest. These adventures are intended to be a series of silly adventures that all go awry in some way or another and stir up trouble throughout a peaceful little village that has in many ways been overlooked by the troubles of the world “outside”.
CHAPTER 1: Green Tide CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent CHAPTER 4: High Society
ADVENTURE MECHANICS - Target Character Level: Commoners - Level 1 - Target Party Size: Four Players - Average Adventure Playtime: 1-2 Hours - Tone: Rural Misadventures
I’ve also put these adventures into a PDF that includes our Bumpkin Quest: Campaign Guide which fills in the details of Green Valley pretty thoroughly. The quests are simple enough to be run in any setting you choose, but if you're interested in more the Guide as over a dozen Custom Maps, 70+ NPCs, Location Descriptions, 20+ Local Legends, and Scores of Adventure and Event Ideas. You can grab the PDF Free at the link above.

Hills Furrow

At the center of the Valley sits a patch of small grassy hills, through which the Slow Water meanders through. Built into these hills is the Village of Hills Furrow. Celebrated by everyone living in The Valley and boasting a whopping population of almost 150, Hills Furrow is the center of commerce and social importance. Well, at least as far as the locals are concerned. Realistically it would be less than a blip on the grand scale of things, a mere kernel of wheat in the silo of civilization, but to those who live here, there is nothing quite like living in the “city”.
The Village itself, like the Valley, is predominantly Halfling, and their fancy dwellings are burrowed into the hillsides as often as possible. These dwellings have been family owned for generations only becomeing available if there are no heirs to pass them along to. Other folk live in well kept two story shingled buildings, most of which house a business on the lower floor and house the Shopkeepers and their families above their workplaces, though a few live in nearby homes. There aren’t many “rental” spaces in town, as property is usually bought up quickly by the Halfling Families, but there are long term options at either of the Inns in town.
Hills Furrow: Locations 1) The Crocked Crow (Inn and Tavern) 2) The Dancing Lamb (Inn and Tavern) 3) The Moaning Toad (Tavern) 4) Granny's Groceries (General Market) 5) Get Nailed (Hardware and Distilery) 6) Gimdurh's Hammer (Smithy) 7) Brenra's Mechanicals (Tinker) 8) Hjoldren's Home Goods (Carpenter) 9) Standard Industries (Office) 10) Fit to be Dyed (Tailor) 11) The Last Loaf (Baker) 12) The Cloudy Cleaver (Butcher) 13) Nature's Medecine (Apothecary) 14) Sheriff's Office 15) Green Valley School House 16) The Waterwheel 17) The Windmill 18) The Undercloak Estate 19) Truefoot Burrow 20) The Meadows Family Hill
The people themselves are hospitable and friendly enough, but they do not really trust outsiders. Folks from foreign places are good for trade, news, and little else. Those that come through are treated well enough as long as they don’t wear out their welcome. Locals, well, that’s a bit of a different story. The city and area doesn’t operate under a written caste system or social structure, but there is clearly a pecking order, and family heritage matters a great deal to folks in Hills Furrow. Most locals, whether they’ve gotten an education or not, can easily be classified as simple. It isn’t that they are slow of mind or unintelligent, but more that they are unconcerned with matters the outside world considers important. This sentiment has created a general, but friendly, dislike between those that consider themselves Highfalutin and those that clearly are not.
Well now that I've given you the fifty cent tour. Shall we get on to adventure?

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide

We will open our journeys in the Green Valley at Green Tide, the annual celebration of Winter’s End. This adventure is designed to give a tour of Hills Furrow and introduce them to the locals. It will begin with some chores around their house to prepare for the festival and end with a battle involving an enchanted broom. If you did not do Session Zero, this chapter may take a bit longer as we get to know everyone and their characters.

ACT 1: Pre-Festival

The locals spend the week cleaning out their houses and farms. They gather old junk and unused items to be used later in the festival. They also begin preparing what food is left from winter to be used in a celebration and feasts.
Things to do! - Have the Players clean up junk around the house - Have them Find something strange (Perhaps used for a later mystery?) - Have them Decorate their Broom - Have them run a Household Errand (Meet an NPC)

ACT 2: Sweeping Day

A merry festival celebrating Spring cleaning and putting the past behind them. They form a parade, with one member from each house carrying a brightly decorated broom and using it to symbolically “Sweep Away Winter”. The rest of the family marches their winter’s trash and unused goods down to the Fairgrounds. The goods are often traded, while the trash is piled in the fire pit to await burning later. The entire day is filled with fun outdoor activities. Households also symbolically bring their problems to the bonfires to burn them later.
Things to do! - March in the Parade - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals
EVENT: I Love a Parade
The parade will march North from near the Cross Roads in the South up around the hill and back again to the South where it will head for the Fairgrounds. There isn’t anything particularly challenging about this event, but it would be a wonderful place to start leaning into or building local rivalries.
EVENT: Never Seen a Broom Do That… As they come into the home stretch of the Parade one of the local’s Brooms will animate and take off. It will chase folks around the parade. The players can attempt to stop it, but the broom will flee soon after being attacked. It will fly up into the air, attack a flock of geese, and chase them off until it can’t be seen anymore. They can go and collect a fallen goose if they wish. I highly recommend giving it a motorcycle type sound as it flies around hitting folks. Maybe even going as far as giving it a rough gravel angry voice and letting it insult people.

ACT 3: Winter’s End

Winter’s End is a Combination of Groundhog’s Day and Fasnacht, this day gets a little wild. The Festival kicks off at dawn with the Great Gopher Hunt. Gophers are well known spies for The Voice of Winter and thus need to be hunted before they can tell The Voice to delay Spring. Gophers themselves are quite tasty, and are notoriously bad for crops, so this works out economically all around. Throughout the rest of the day families continue to contribute to the Bonfire Pile which often gets quite large. At dusk a large effigy of The Voice of Winter is placed on top of the pile. Once the sun has fully set they light the fire and burn the Effigy. Folk usually dress darkly during the day and brightly at night. After the burning they feast on sweets and treats that were made from goods saved up from winter storage.
Things to do! - The Great Gopher Hunt - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals - The Fairground’s Activities
EVENT: The Great Gopher Hunt The Hunt begins at dawn and takes place all over the Valley. Locals race to collect as many Gophers as possible. It is easiest to kill the Gopher, but there are some that find that distasteful. Instead they live trap the critters. It is a bit tougher to do so, but an option should your players wish. This is most easily played out as a series of appropriate Skill Checks, in which the higher they score the more gophers they obtain.
EVENT: Trash Removal They may find some locals willing to pay them to help cart junk down to the bonfire pile. Not a lot of skill involved in this, but it is a great opportunity to meet locals, and you could throw a runaway cart at them.
Fair Activities They will probably want to take part in Fairground Activities. Players love these types of challenges. Here are a few ideas you can build on. - Axe Throwin: Basic attack rolls on a Round Target. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Bow Shootin: Basic attack rolls on Moving Targets. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Pig Chasin: Catch the greased Pig! Medium DC Challenge requiring three success before three Failures. - Mud Wrastlin: Nothing says bumpkin like a good Mud Wrastlin Pit. Contested Skill Challenges. - Sausage Eating Contest: Increasingly difficult DC Challenge. Eat till you puke! Can also be Pies or Ribs or Little Fish… you know whatever someone wants to stuff dozens of in their gullet. - Tug O’War: Team Strength Challenge. Three to Five Contested Rolls with opposing teams. - Gopher BBQ Cook Off: A Hard Culinary Challenge to see who can BBQ the best Gopher! - Races: Foot and Mount Races based on Three to Five Contested Rolls. I usually include a few odd mounts like a Giant Chicken or some such nonsense.

ACT 4: Day of Ashes

The Day of Ashes is a day of rest, recovery, and reflection. Locals take the ashes from the bonfires and rub their hands in them to symbolize the end of a hard year’s work and hardships of the past. The day ends with a large family feast, typically Pork. Activities this day are light, but many folks head to the Temple for the Calling of Spring Blessings. They put on their fancies and head down to ask forgiveness for over-indulging in the festival and for worship. Well sort of…
Unfortunately, a lot of folks take this as an opportunity to peacock about and practice their one-upmanship over other locals. If you’re looking for inspiration for their outfits look to older photos of the Kentucky Derby. Over the years this troubling practice has caused more than one fight to break out after the service.
*Things to do! * - Go to Temple and Meet More Locals - Pick a Local Patron!
EVENT: Temple Services
The majority of the town comes to Temple on this day. The service is usually longer, and a bit more “Where have most of you been all year?” But otherwise it is a call for the Divine Blessings to touch their crops and protect their lives. It ends with a ceremony in which the locals put their hands into the ashes from yesterday’s bonfire. Once services end they will head outside, where the trouble will begin. Two of the wealthier families will get into it with each other. Starting with a couple of veiled insults, probably before service and continuing afterward. If one of your players is from a local Rich Folk family then they can be right in the middle of it all, otherwise they will have to pick a side. This choice will determine their house Patron moving forward. Tension will increase until folks start drawing up sides, and then someone will throw a rotten tomato at one of the House Matrons. That will blow the lid off the incident and a yokel brawl will break out. For comedy purposes I recommend the instant appearance of several food carts filled with expired products, and maybe a six year old hustler selling big sticks for wacking folks with. As the locals brawl call for perception checks. Who ever rolls highest begins to hear… The Broom returning!
ENCOUNTER: Stick In The Eye
The broom returns ready to whoop some ash. It will be absolutely bent on cleaning anyone and everyone who is even the slightest bit dirty! If it successfully attacks a character they will have to make a Strength Saving throw or be knocked to the ground and swept clean by the broom. As this would be an awful omen for the year folks are terrified and will be running around screaming. Absolute mass hysteria. If the players were lucky enough to hear it coming they can avoid being surprised by the broom. Otherwise the broom will get a full round to attack before they have a chance to do anything. They’ll have to beat the broom into submission any way they can before it sweeps the whole town into chaos!

CLOSING

After defeating the broom things will settle back down again. Bumpkins are quick to return to normal when things go awry. However, they will have gotten the attention of one of the Wealthy Families in the area and be offered jobs. Which family is really, based on what will work best for them and you as the DM. For gags you might be tempted to have the Yokels pick them up, but that is a hard bit to sustain, and you may be better served keeping them on the side as a comic foil rather than up front. Completely up to you. The session should end with them being invited to meet their new patron tomorrow someplace important.

CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens

After successfully defeating the Enchanted Broom, our Bumpkins have gained the attention of a possible local Patron. This individual has summoned them to a nearby farm to discuss future work. That work includes proving themselves capable and not just lucky.

ACT 1: Meet the Boss

In this Act the players will meet with their new patron, one of the Family Heads, who that is entirely depends on their choices from the last game. This entire side branch is designed to flavor the background of the campaign, but if you’d rather just have them stay freelancing and independent that’s fine as well. There is also the possibility of “competing” offers should they have second thoughts for any reason. Once they arrive at the meeting spot their Patron will ask them some questions about their ambitions (Class Goals), they will then hand them off to their new “boss” who will assign them their task. They will take them to a nearby barn.
NEW NPC: “Boss”
Needs a fitting name for the Family they work for...
Character wise, what we got here is a standard “Ranch Foreman” character. They’re tough, A little mean, and completely loyal to their employer. They almost certainly chew tobacco (by the handful), have a tattoo of the Ranch’s Brand, and know where all the bodies are buried. They also have a huge and obvious scar on the side of their head where a Giant Chicken pecked a hole in their skull, so they’re not as bright as they used to be, not at all truthfully. Nor are they actually the Foreman anymore, but no one has a heart to tell them. They’ve been quietly downgraded to Chicken Handler, which is something they seem to remember quite well, but the brain damage keeps them from realizing all that. They can be found wandering the Farm giving strange orders to other Hands. These Hands nod politely and then go back to what they are doing.
Things To Do! - Meet Their Patron - Discuss Their Future - Meet Their New “Boss”

ACT 2: Chicken Dance

Boss will lead them into the odd looking barn. This building is filled with Giant Chickens. These two-three foot fouls have extremely exaggerated features, spiky looking beaks with sharp tooth like edges, big darting eyes, bumpy cracked skin, long gnarled talons, and dirty mottled feathers. They’re more beast than bird. But, they’re good for eatin! These creatures should have a stat block similar to an Axe Beak. When the players enter into the Barn the Chickens will go nuts, obviously deeply bothered by the intrusion. Boss will throw in some deer haunches and the birds will tear them apart in a feeding frenzy. They will then put on a Chicken Suit and begin a flapping dance. (Google Magnificent Riflebird) It should be absolutely captivating and the chickens will become mesmerized, watching every move. Boss will then load two dozen chickens onto a large wagon and lock it. They will have the players push the wagon out while he keeps the Chickens calm. Once outside they’ll hang heavy tarps on the sides of the wagon, and remove the suit. He will then explain to them that they need to keep the tarps on the wagon, and keep the birds well fed, or the chickens will get restless and become violent. When they do need to interact with them someone will have to wear the suit and dance to keep them calm. The bigger the person in the suit the better. Boss will then give them a Map of Green Valley and instruct them to drop off two chickens at each of the outer settlements. They have two days to get this done.
Things To Do! - Head into the barn - Witness The Dance of The Chicken - Push the Wagon out - Get the Costume and Delivery Instructions

ACT 3: Bumpy Roads

They will be off to deliver the Chickens to various locations. There is no specific order to this delivery, they just need to pick a route and go. If they’re short on time they can take the country roads that lead between the outer settlements, but these aren’t as well kept as the main roads are. Whatever road they take and wherever they decide to stop for the night there are problems they will encounter along the way. You can make them random or pick the ones that best suit your players. Most of these should at some point require someone putting on the suit and dancing for the chickens to keep them calm. I would also increase the difficulty of each event. If they fail a dance the Chickens will become restless and start attacking the cart until they are calmed down. Too many failures and the wagon’s cage will break and the remaining chickens escape. They will then have to be rounded up and the cage repaired.
Things to Do - Decide the delivery route - Deliver the chickens - Keep the Chickens calm
Possible Road Events 1) Rough roads cause problems 2) Yokels attempt to see what’s in the cart 3) Bad Weather swamps the road or scares the chickens 4) Pack of Coyotes causes trouble. 5) Chicken Rustlers! Protect the Flock! 6) Wagon breaks and needs repair 7) Cows in the road, someone’s herd is out. 8) Broken Bridge, not gone, just broken

ACT 4: Final Delivery

They’re now closing in on the final delivery. Something needs to happen here to cause them to put the suit on. Or maybe they never took it off! I love that idea, that one of your players just loves the suit and wants to be a chicken… lol… Anyway I’m a fan of having them need to get out of the suit for some reason, maybe a bathroom break, or they stand on a fire ant hill, or a snake slithers up their leg. You know something silly and fun. BUT the zipper is stuck! So they’ll have to try and unstick it and fast! Whatever happens they’re going to get shot at by some hunters looking for a big score who have mistaken the flailing caused by the stuck zipper to be the chicken attacking. After dealing with the Hunters they can go ahead and make the final drop. And head home.
Things to Do! - Head for the final delivery - Get shot at! - Deliver the last chickens
ENCOUNTER: That’s a BIG Chicken!
Having two hunters in the field is more than enough to cause a problem for the players. The hunters will almost certainly surprise the players, but you can allow them a perception check, if they succeed they’ll see the hunters just before the muskets go off. It would be OK to down the Chicken Player here if the hunters successfully hit it. They’ll have healer’s kits on hand because, well, this seems to happen to them a lot out here. After the initial attack the players can decide to attack back or try and talk the hunters down. A basic Bandit or Scout stat block should do will for the hunters. If you’re looking for a bit more mayhem, if the hunters miss the players you could have them hit the cage, and you know, bust it open. This may be especially tempting if they
POSSIBLE ENCOUNTER: Big Ol' Frog
So there is a giant frog hiding in the mud down in the creek. If a player takes cover behind the banks there is a good chance that the frog will attempt to nab the player as a snack. If it is successful in grabbing a player with its tongue it will immediately head down river, and they'll have to chase it to get their friend back.

CLOSE

When they return, Boss will reward them. How much will depend on how successful they were delivering the birds. If they did a descent job, they will be paid two day’s wages each. If they were completely successful they can have a bonus. However, if the wagon is in bad shape they might have some money deducted. After they’re paid out, they will be dismissed, and told to expect a new assignment next week.

CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent

After successfully delivering chickens Boss is going to trust them with a more important task. Their employer has requested an item to be created by Marvin the Magnificent. This is a farming community so having enchanted Farming Equipment is extremely desirable. Marvin has done a lot of basic enchantments over the years, but this new one, an The Stone Skipper, a plough whose blade goes ethereal while in contact with stones too large to push away, has really put him to the test. He needs some help with the final enchantments. The players will have to travel to the Ethereal Plane and hit the Blade of the plow with large rocks. But there’s a problem, they’re going to have mischievous Ethereal Sprites attempting to stop them! If they’re successful, which they should be, they get to take the plough for a test drive, and deal with the strange side effects of the enchantment. Angry goats that blink in and out of existence.

ACT 1: To the Tower

They’ll be summoned out to the Ranch where they’ll meet with Boss again. Once there they will notice a large pile of bent and dinged up plows. Boss will explain to them that a recent land acquisition has become problematic. The Fields are filled with large stones just under the topsoil and they’ve damaged a lot of Plow Blades. The Smithing costs are getting out of hand and so their Patron is looking for an alternate solution to the problem. He is sending them to help Marvin the Magnificent, who has taken the job, but run into some complications and needs some help. They may ask about Marvin. Or perhaps the fields that were purchased, so be ready to answer these types of questions. Once they’re done here they can head to Marvin’s Tower, which is just north of town.
Things to Do! - Meet Boss again - Ask some Informational Questions - Head for the Tower
NPC: Marvin the Magnificent

ACT 2: Marvin the Magnificent

As they approach the tower they should see an explosion at the peak of the structure. It should look similar to a fireworks mishap. When it clears there will be no visible damage to the tower, But Marvin will plummet to the earth just off to the side of them, landing in a small pond. He will then come charging out of the pond, laughing hysterically, and riding on a large turtle. Once he gets a few feet away from the pond the turtle will disappear and he will tumble to the ground right in front of the players. He will leap up quickly and turn toward the players. “Behold Travelers, You stand in the presence of Marvin the Magnificent! And everything you have witness was mostly intended!” He will then strike a cool pose with his wand pointed to the sky! “Now why do you approach my tower!?”
Once Marvin finds out they’ve been sent about the plow he will become more nervous looking. “I see, well follow me. We have work to do.” He will then start walking toward the tower… his boots squishing out water. This should give them a little time to ask a few questions. Marvin will be a little subversive about what they need to do. He will attempt to frame it very mysteriously, saying things like “All will be revealed soon.” and “Save your questions! All Answers await us… in the future!” If they ask him about what they witnessed outside, he will tell them he was working on a mount summoning spell designed for lakes and rivers.
Things to Do! - Head toward the Tower - Meet Marvin - Ask Questions

ACT 3: The Cabinet of Mysteries

The inside of the Wizard’s Tower will be far more mundane than they likely expect. At least on the first floor. It will have a sitting room, dining room, and kitchen, as well as a few odds and ends about. Nothing special at all. The second floor, are Marvin’s personal quarters and some room for study, but it is the third floor, where Marvin will lead them, and it will be more of what one would expect in a Wizard’s tower. There will be books shelves, arcane equipment, and storage for components. In the middle of the room will be a tall cabinet.
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Marvin will explain to them that the Cabinet is a transportation device, and that he will need them to enter into it with a plow that he has recently enchanted. They will be taken to the Ethereal Plane, and once there they’ll need to take the plow outside and begin hitting it with large field stones. There is a large pile of stones just on the north edge of the tower. They’ll have to do this quickly, before the “others” show up. Who are the others? Hard to say, but there are things that live in the Ethereal Plane that don’t like intruders. The idea is to imbue the Plow with Ethereal Powers so it can pass through large stones while plowing fields. Once they return with the Enchanted Plow, Marvin will have them load it on a cart, pulled by a very smart Donkey, and send them on their way.
Skill Challenge: Enchant the Plow This skill challenge will require five successes before they’re incapacitated by the others. However they decide to do it, they’ll have to successfully hit the plow with five large stones. Failures will result in strange indiscernible entities attacking them. They do minimal damage but could knock people out if there are enough failures.
Things to Do! - Move Through Marvin’s Tower - Enter the Cabinet - Enchant the Plow

ACT 4: Blinking Goats

Upon returning to Boss with the Plow they will be happily greet and paid. Their Patron will be there and will be very pleased with their success. He will ask them to demonstrate the plow’s abilities. Once they get set up out in the field and begin plowing something weird will happen. Every time they hit a stone and the plow’s power activates an Ethereal Goat will manifest and kick or ram the plow, and then disappear. It will feel very similar to what they encountered in the Ethereal Plane. They’ll have to find a way to deal with the manifestations.
ENCOUNTER: Ethereal Goats These goats should function very similarly to Blink Dogs, but I would trim the HP and AC a little to put them in line with the party’s. They will be intent on breaking the Plow not the party, although they will attack the party if they can’t get to the Plow.
Things to Do! - Deliver the Plow - Drive the Plow - Defeat the Ethereal Goats

CLOSE

Once defeated the Boss will come over to yell at them, but the Patron will find the entire thing amusing and more importantly, another impressive demonstration of the player’s skills. He will invite them to the “House” for an important party next week.

Chapter 4: High Society

They've definitely been noticed now and have impressed with their ability, unconventional as it may be. They are invited to their patron's home, but not as guests. Though, they might think they were actually invited as guests! They have been brought in to help work the event held out at the Party Field. They will have to gather party supplies, help put up the tent, and then serve the actual guests. During the evening’s entertainment a hypnotist “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will mesmerize the crowd and attempt to rob them all. Hopefully the players don’t fall victim to her schemes. And if they do oh well, they’ll be entertained all the same.

ACT 1: Special Delivery

The players arrive at the Patron’s very nice property. They will be greeted by a properly dressed servant with a clipboard, the Party Planner. The Planner will be rigid and direct. They will immediately begin tasking them about. If they mention that they were invited to the party the servant will laugh “You didn’t think you were a guest? Oh dear, how embarrassing. You’re the help! It is still a great honor to be tasked to help at the Party, but you’re not guests. Now as for your current task. Head into town and gather these supplies. Bring them to the field by noon.” After the instructions are given the servant will go back to their tasks and expect the players to do the same. They will have three stops; The Crocked Crow for Food and Beer, Get Nailed for the Tent and Spirits, and Shalana Proud-Breed’s Tailor Shop to pick up the Dry Cleaning. Feel free to make any and all of these go sideways! Its a good place to toss in some shenanigans as well! They should also be introduced to Dr Hypnotika and her associates.
Things To do! - Go to their Patron’s Home - Meet the Party Planner and Dr Hypnotika - Run their Errands
NPC: Dr Hypnotika
Dr Hypnotika and her group will perform for the party. Hypnotica is a Tiefling Mezmerist and illusionist. She has an obnoxiously high charisma and some pretty serious skills to back up her claims. However, she uses those skills to beguile her guests, robbing them blind while they are under her spells. She wears a fine robe with a bedazzled headwrap. She has dark upward spiraling horns, light purple skin, and matching eyes. She wears a monocle and walks with a ceremonially carved staff depicting the "Struggles of the Universe". She is extremely persuasive and even more deceptive. Even if someone were to grow suspicious she can easily talk her way out of trouble.
NPCs: Clapper and Bob Hypnotika brings with her two assistants. Clapper the suit wearing Kenku who will perform wondrous displays of mimicry and slight of hand, and her strongman Bob the Kobold. Bob wears a leopard print strongman's outfit and is amazingly swole, particularly for a kobold, and capable of lifting upwards of 400lbs. Bob doesn't do much else other than get hit with things. in the act.

ACT 2: Put up the Tent

After they finish running their errands they will be tasked with putting up a large party tent. This Act is an ongoing Skill Challenge and should have a constantly distracted feel to it. First they have to unpack the tent. Then they have to realize some pieces are missing, they’ll have to form a solution to that problem. After that wind should cause some problems as the tent is at least being pulled up. This is a great moment for some wondrous tom-foolery.
Things To do! - Unpack the tent - Deal with missing parts - Secure the tent during the wind gusts

ACT 3: Put These On

After they finish putting up the tent they’ll be sent to the Servant’s Quarters to bathe and change. They’ll get a little time to explore and snoop if they wish. Afterward they’ll be tasked with helping in the kitchen, but unfortunately the cooks are going to have been playing a drinking game all afternoon and are no longer fully capable of doing their jobs. This would make a great moment for some sort of mini-game where the players have to determine whether or not the cooks are doing the right things. Once the dinner has been completed they will have to serve the guests. This is a good place to insert gossip and help them meet a few other folks.
Things To do! - Get changed for the party - Deal with the drunk cooks - Serve the guests drinks and food

ACT 4: An Evening to Remember

At some point in the evening things are going to start sliding downhill. Some of the locals will have become extremely inebriated and will need to be encouraged to leave, or just moved off to the side as they’ve already passed out, before the show begins. Once the show begins the locals will become fixated on the goings on. “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will have put an additive in the drinks for the that will make everyone more susceptible to her powers of persuasion. Once the show starts she will have them all doing silly things, those who drank have disadvantage on saves against her powers. She will end the show asking the guests to display their most valuable treasure, a with a hypnotic pattern and then send her assistants out to collect those treasures. The players will have to “do something” about the thieves.
Things To do! - Deal with Drunks - Watch the Show - Stop the Criminals
ENCOUNTER: Hypnotika's Gang This encounter doesn't have to be a fight. If Hypnotika is caught she may claim it was all part of the act and simple return the valuables with a "no harm, no foul" type attitude. This will be he go to in an attempt to avoid a fight, but if the character persist in some kind of retribution or punishment the situation will devolve into a combat. Hypnotica herself is an Illusionist Wizard but is low on spells after the show. Clapper is a low level rogue and Bob a Barbarian, and should play out as such. Even with Skills they are combat adverse and will be looking for an opportunity to flee rather than fight. They do have a getaway wagon out front that they'll be headed for if things go south.

CLOSING

We’re assuming the Bumpkins at least attempted to stop the robbery. This will draw a lot of attention to them. Their Patron will be well pleased with them, and let them know they will be getting much more important jobs in the future. The guests will also take note and will begin treating them all a bit better. They’re all essentially Folk Heroes at this point for secondary backgrounds. Their Patron should reward them with something very nice as the party kicks back in. They will need to finish out the nights work of course.

Quest-line Closing

Congratulations! Your Players have completed their first Quest-line! Hopefully it was a delightful experience. But now that they've finished what comes next? Well, here are some ideas.
*Reward Them! * They've been doing some rather Adventurous things lately, and therefore should now have a Class Level under their belt, so the real D&D world now opens to them! Maybe it is time for some real adventuring gear. No more sticks, stones, and burlap sack armor.
Folk Heroes? There's a good chance that the Valley is Speaking the News about them and their exploits while drinking in the taverns. They may have even earned the actual Folk Hero Feat! Maybe someone would be interested in giving them a task!
Simply Go Exploring! There are a lot of places in Green Valley that we only dipped our toes into. You could have them head down to Stinkmarsh, or maybe climb up the cliffs of Longridge. The world (Well, the Valley) is wholly open to them.
Explore Local Legends There are lots of local legends they can look into! Hopefully they search out something that isn't too far over their heads!
Continue Working for their Patron It would be an easy DM go to simply to have them continue working for their current Patron. They've probably been impressive enough fo a family to be interested in keeping them on.
Establish Themselves as Adventurers! Maybe they want to set up a Adventurers for Hire business? This "Heroes Guild" approach is really appealing to a lot of players and absolutely plays into Bumpkin Quest. Just remember, this is a place of low key problems that locals make really big deals out of. So the idea of slaying dragons shouldn't really be on the table... that is until an actual dragon shows up! Which one day absolutely should.