Using an alt for personal reasons & TLDR at bottom
A little background: I traveled 5 hours to stay with an old friend We have never been romantically interested previously, and haven’t spent any meaningful time communicating over the past 6-7 years.
Over the death of a friend we reconnected, and on a whim I went to stay with him up north for the long weekend.
We spent the first night hanging, chatting, and gaming. When it came time to lay down we shared a bed. We were both tossing and turning all night, a restless sleep. I could certainly feel the sparks and I think he could too, but neither of us were ready to make the first move.
After a long while we both finally snagged some sleep, but when morning finally came the sparks that came with it were even brighter.
I felt drawn to him and positioned myself right at his lips, but I hesitated. At this moment he closed the distance and we shared a long, passionate kiss. We spend the entire day in bed together joking with each other, talking about life, and making love.
It’s my second day here and he is sleeping peacefully beside me. He has shown himself to be a kind, and attentive lover. His words of affirmation give me goosebumps and sets a fire inside of me.
The refrigerator full of groceries, the extra toiletries, and all the other accommodations he went out of his way to make happen for my short visit speak volumes toward his character.
The way he gently loves and cares for his cats just makes me smile so much.
I am 30 and have wanted so long to feel cared for like this. To be looked after by such a gentle yet strong man. A man with a darkness in his heart to match my own.
I am dreading our farewell, I don’t want this to end. I didn’t expect to hear the word “love” in my head over and over again. It feels like madness creeping in.
My work isn’t transferable, and he owns his house. So we are both stuck in our own towns.
He also doesn’t know, maybe, that I feel this way. And I don’t know if I should tell him.
Long distance? That sounds sad and more lonely than being single as long as I have already been. Even now as he sleeps I long for his touch. I love the gentle moans he makes as I rub his back between thoughts while typing this.
To call him “my love” and not have these things everyday would just be too painful.
I’m just posting my thoughts before he wakes up so I can’t hopefully spend the rest of our time here unburdened by the impending farewell.
TLDR: I fell in love for the first time with someone who lives 5 hours away and long distance sounds too painful.

May 2023 Federal Election - Crikey's Winners and Losers

The May 2023 Federal Election is all wrapped up, and Australia has seen the return of BellmanTGM as Prime Minister, where he is likely hoping to serve more than 21 days as he did in February 2018. We saw a joint ticket run by ANCAP and LNP, and a surge of independent success! Crikey is here to dissect the results, and look at the winners, the losers, and the bronze medal winners.

Winner: Australian National Capitalist Anti-Authoritarian Party

House Result: 5 Seats (+3), 21.7% (+14.2) Senate Result: 2 Seats (+2), 55.2%* (+6.1) ± February 2023 Election *Joint ticket run with LNP, changes from last election is combined LNP+ANCAP vote.
Without a doubt, the resounding winner of the May 2023 Federal Election was the Australian National Capitalist Anti-Authoritarian Party. Picking up 5 house seats, and 21.7% of the national house vote, they have more than doubled their house representation, and increased their national vote more than any other party this election. Post-election, they gained a seat from Cookie_Monster765 who resigned from the leadership of the Commonwealth Party to sit as an independent, but this was short-lived, and he now serves Sydney as an ANCAP MP. Gaining confidence and supply from Independent MPs in porridge (Brisbane), and riley8583 (Cowper), ANCAP are enjoying a single party cabinet, severing their coalition with the LNP. Speaking of the LNP, ANCAP ran a joint ticket from the LNP, gaining their first 2 senators, and ending the left dominated senate, which will create significant legislative ease in passing the government's agenda. Also surprisingly, historical left leaning figures such as jq8678 have been prominent MPs for ANCAP, with an upset victory in “Magnificent” Moncrieff. jq8678 has previously served as a Social Democrat Minister, and was a founding member of the Green Left Party in 2021, but appears committed to the cause of "Freedom and Liberty".

Loser: Commonwealth Party of Australia

House Result: 2 Seats (-5), 10.7% (-20.6) Senate Result: 1 Seats (-1), 19.6% (-12.7) ± February 2023 Election
As ANCAP were resounding winners, the Commonwealth Party was the resounding losers of the May 2023 Federal Election. More than halving their house representation, and losing a third of their national vote in the house was a shocking election result. Safe seats like Melbourne fell due to the lack of a presence from incumbent buttsforpm. Hotham was another loss, however the extremely active BellmanTGM was an tough match for incumbent Adiaus. The two seats won by the Commonwealth Party were Sydney and Lingiari, in relatively non-competitive contests.
However the biggest lost for the Commonwealth Party didn't even occur at the ballot box. After these election results, Leader Cookie_Monster765 resigned and left the party. Their remaining MP, Jordology505 was next in line for leader, but after being elected for 5 hours he resigned, leaving the CPA without any house representation. Their final MP MLastCelebration is now leader but questions surround the longevity of the party. Another active member, former MP Adiaus jumped a possibly sinking ship with Jordology505 in order to join the newly formed Australian Labour Party, which brings us to the next winner of the election.

Winner: A United Left

We don't have election results for this, but after what can be described as a disappointing result for the Socialists, they have merged with the left leaning members of the Commonwealth Party to form a centre-left Australian Labour Party. Socialist Leader TheSensibleCentre stepped down from the leadership of the new party, with Jordology505 heading the party, followed by Adiaus as Deputy and model-slater as Party Chair. A party that can now concentrate a focus on the right wing government is a win for a united, and previously struggling left. While some may point out that Country Labor Party still exists, it understood there is an agreement between the parties to maximise electoral efficiency and not have left of centre candidates in competitive races against each other.

Winner: Independents

House Result: 3 Seats (+2), 17.4% (+10.0) ± February 2023 Election
If all the Independents were one party, the Independents would be the second largest party in parliament! While their election result was a success, this was strengthened by the defection of porriidge to the crossbench, increasing their total to 4 seats. However it's a good thing that independents aren't one party, because showstealer1829 took to twitter to let porriidge know that "F*** off. We [The crossbench] don't want you." Make of that what you will! However, a solid increase in the independent's vote and representation in the house, and with 2 independents providing C&S to the government, independents will be having a large say in how our nation will be governing over the following term. A win for independents, and likely a win for their respective electorates as they create a list of demands from the government!

Bronze Medal: Country Labor

House Result: 2 Seats (+1), 14.9% (+5.3) Senate Result: 1 Seats (-), 9.0% (+2.4) ± February 2023 Election
Crikey has a new award to hand out, the Bronze Medal! As the name suggests, these groups didn't suffer a loss, but it couldn't be called an outright win. The Country Labor Party enjoyed the comeback gain of long term MP for Capricornia, ARichTeaBiscuit, and the hold of Denison for Inadorable (who is definitely NOT a communist). While the House Result does look impressive, it is an inflated figure given that the CLP tend to run in populous rural seats, and national polls during the campaign have CLP support around 2.5%. CLP Leader Gregor_The_Beggar was re-elected once again, continuing his tenure as Senator for NSW since July 2020. While the CLP are not the political force they once were under the Greens-CLP Government, they aren't disappearing anytime soon, and this election confirmed such.

Loser: Income Taxation

The May 2023 Election has brought a party into government that seeks the eventual abolition of income taxation and a Senate controlled by the ANCAP and LNP. The previous LNP-ANCAP Government failed to get a large tax cut through parliament last term, due to the left wing senate, and it is almost certain that a similar package will be introduced and this time probably passed. Income Taxation is a loser of this election!

Bronze Medal: Liberal National Party

House Result: 3 Seats (-2), 14.9% (-12.3) Senate Result: 3 Seats (+1), 55.2%* (+6.1) ± February 2023 Election *Joint ticket run with ANCAP, changes from last election is combined LNP+ANCAP vote.
Prime Minister Griffonomics set out to "Sack the Senate" and undoubtedly that is what he has done. The Senate has been swept by the Right, holding 5/8 seats, and paving the way, finally for a right wing legislative agenda. However Griffonomics will not be at the helm for this agenda, and not even on the government benches as the ANCAP have revealed an entire ANCAP cabinet, relying on the support of independents rather than the LNP. While their Senate gains did not fall short of what the Liberal Nationals hope, they saw a loss of a few seats in the House, however the combined ANCAP-LNP seat total was still 8, the majority number. ANCAP became what many thought was just the senior party in government, with the LNP as a minority partner, but upon leaving the LNP, porriidge attributed it to the high likelihood that the LNP "would find itself in opposition".
If porridge's statement holds, this will shelve the left and centre onto the crossbench, with right wing parties holding government and opposition. It is hard to think there is much of the ANCAP agenda that the LNP would oppose, given their previous coalition, but it is surely disappointing for the LNP to lack a voice inside the new government. For the reason that the LNP have achieved perhaps policy goals, and "Sacked the Senate", but have failed to form government is the reason that Crikey awards them the 2nd Bronze Medal of this article.
That's all from us folks. he next term is hopefully one full of newsworthy things to write about, or we'll be out of a job! We hope you enjoyed today's article, please let us know!! (Also if you see any errors I am very tired)

Hi there!! I'm Jay! :)
I want to find a guy that is compatible to me and shares the same values. Hoping to find him here!
I am a 22 year old who graduated college and and am currently living in New York!
I am looking to form a bond with someone before I move, and then continue with an in person relationship! The only thing I am asking is that you live either in New Jersey, New York, or the farthest being Massachusetts or Pennsylvania.
A bit about me: - I have natural hair that I like to keep short, and I occasionally like wearing different wig styles to show my personality!
-I am on a weight loss journey! So I cherish healthy living and fitness. I am looking for someone who will motivate me to make the right decisions but at the same time also loves my body the way it is right now. I am currently 170lbs, my goal is around 130-140lbs. I've done it before, so I know I can do it again! I love walking and being active so definitely looking for a man who is the same!
-I am looking for someone who is mature and is established. Meaning, a man who works hard every day in any aspect of his life (career, family, or fitness). Someone who is level headed. But I am also looking for someone fun, kind, affectionate, and chill to hang out with!
-I am looking for a man who will prioritize spending time with me, whether it is virtually or in person. Someone who communicates and is neither pushy on me texting back within seconds, but someone who respects me enough to let me know if they're busy/to expect a longer wait time. Someone who is not shy to take random pictures of themselves and send them to me just so I know those silly little thoughts you have. Also someone who doesn't mind me taking tons of pictures too (because I do take a lot of pictures haha)
-I believe in communication! I need someone emotionally available, someone who isn't afraid to have those long, deep conversations with me. Someone who will hear me out and not judge me. A man that really listens but also has enough confidence to speak up too!
-My love languages are words of affirmations and quality time! It's my top two love languages :) Also, I want a man who intentionally plans dates/hang outs/skype sessions, and wants to genuinely have fun with me!
-I love anime! I watch so much anime, and I need a guy who is willing to watch some with me!
A bit about my careeschool...
-I am a published author! I have written 3 books, first one dating back when I was only 13! I was introduced to the publishing industry at a young age, so I went to college to study creative writing. I am currently minoring in creative writing and majoring in psychology! What I plan to do in the future is become a liscensed Expressive Writing therapist and/or create books for the youth to help their mental health!
-I used to have 3 on campus jobs when I am on campus. Library Assistant, tutor, and I work at the gym as a proctor. I am going to be starting a new job soon so I would consider myself a busy person, but I ALWAYS make sure to prioritize my relationships that are serious, and I expect my man to do the same with me.
***I consider myself to be a religious person, and this is something that value. I am Catholic and hope to meet someone who shares my faith! I'm looking for a deep connection, where we can pray together and listen to gospel music!
*** I smoke weed! So I am also looking for a man who does the same! I'm very 420 friendly!
*** I would consider myself to be asexual, which means that I want to form a relationship where sex is not a priority and isn't expected of me. Sending nudes is also something I will not participate in and is a hard boundary. However, I am an extremely romantic person and value intimacy and closeness in other ways! If you want clarification on this, I will gladly explain further over PM!
I am open to talking to anyone between the ages of 22-29 years old!
I want to say that I am a very open-minded person and welcome many different guys! Please decide for yourself if you meet these qualities and send me a message! All I ask for is commitment to having something serious and someone who is ready for that. Looking forward to finding you!

Some years ago, at which point I had been studying German for many years, but was still unable to listen to the most basic German content, I stumbled upon a podcast[1] that catapulted me over the intellegibility barrier. After listening to it for a few weeks I found myself venturing into German language content that had been off-limits to me until then (most of it aimed at speakers, rather than learners, of German), and being able to understand 80-90% of it. This opened up for me a huge reservoir of German language content. From that point, it was all downhill, to the point that, in a matter of months, and without consciously trying, my understanding of spoken German improved to the point that I understand practically all of it[2]. Now I choose what I listen to in German purely on the basis of subject matter, not difficulty level.
This personal experience taught me that there can be such a thing as what I will dub, for lack of a better word, a "gateway podcast" for language learning.
I have tried to identify the features of this godsend that made it into my gateway podcast. They are not obvious!
For one thing, despite its name (Easy German), my gateway podcast for German was definitely more advanced than much of what I could listen to regularly at the time.
Its format is a relaxed, very informal, free-wheeling, invariably amusing chat between its two hosts, a man and a woman, both in their 30s. They are conscious of the fact that their listeners are learners of German, so occasionally they take the time to explain an unusual expression, or to comment on some aspect of the German language. They probably speak slightly slower than they would in real life. And they often devote time to some aspect of life in Germany that may be of interest to someone who has just immigrated or is planning to do so. Otherwise, as far as content goes, I cannot distinguish this podcast from any other chat podcast out there.
By the hosts' own account, much time goes into editing each episode of Easy German, which explains the high quality of the finished product. In particular, one never hears both hosts speaking at the same time. (I used to think that this was a sign of remarkable self-discipline, but it is actually results from assiduous editing.)
I think that the fact that the podcast is a conversation, as opposed to a monologue, is key to its effectiveness as a "gateway podcast", because each response by speaker A as a rich pragmatic context in which to interpreter the prior utterance by speaker B, and vice-versa.
After this nearly miraculous personal experience (one that I would not have believed possible before it actually happened to me), I started searching frantically for a gateway podcast for Japanese. After all, at this point, my failure with Japanese is 10X more spectacular than my former failure with German (as measured by the ratio of effort to results).
The closest I have found to the description above are the following two podcasts:

1. Japanese with Teppei and Noriko
2. Easy Japanese Podcast

Both these podcasts have a format similar to the one I described above (two hosts, a man and a woman in both cases, having an informal conversation). Unfortunately, I find them both way too difficult. Even after listening to them for weeks, I make no progress. I think part of the reason for this is that these podcasts are not as painstakingly edited as the Easy German podcast is. In fact, I wonder if they are edited at all (judging by how frequently the hosts speak simultaneously).
Therefore, I am still looking for that mythical "gateway podcast" for Japanese.
I look forward to any leads you may send my way. Thank you in advance!
------
[1] Easy German
[2] ...with the notable exception of dialogue in movies, TV shows, etc., which is still to slangy and dialect-inflected for me to follow

Yesterday, my old friend visited me. He is based out of Arizona, but flew back home east to catch up with his old friends and spend time with parents.
Ever since we were teenagers we have always been a bit competitive, always in a fun spirit. We both tend to take bets really seriously, so when he once joked to me that he bet he could bag a hotter wife than me, I took it really seriously and spent my college years and 20s on self improvement(cold showers, hitting the gym religiously, reading philosophy and science books). And it all paid off, so I was really excited to show off my wife in a manner of speaking.
He came a bit earlier than I was expecting, and he seemed a bit tired. I told my wife to get ready ready 2 hours ago, but she must have forgot, so she showed up in a t shirt and jeans and no makeup or facial care. When I mentioned our bet to him, he seemed like he was barely listening and acted like he didn’t even remember it.
The visit didn’t go well, so when he left I got really mad at my wife and told her how irresponsible she was. The worst part was when she said that it didn’t really matter and she told me to grow up, so now we’re kind of avoiding each other because she didn’t have to be so rude to me.

Hey all hope you are doing well. I've been on 400mg clozapine for almost a year. My new psychiatrist suggested increasing it a little so I went ahead with the blood tests etc needed to increase to 425mg.
I've only been on 425mg for 4ish days or so but haven't felt great. Has anyone had lethargy/numbness kind of feeling while increasing said medication? My sleep has been a lot better but I feel slightly overmedicated. I'm thinking of still taking 425mg nightly until I speak to my doc, but worried about increasing it more. Anyway, not a huge issue but just wondering if anyone's on more than 400mg? And if anyone has experienced a crappy transition that ended up worth it? Thanks in advance 😺

People settle. I obviously can't say that about everyone, some people don't, and I like to believe that most people are doing the best that they can. But I think most people live life half-heartedly. Just going through the motions. Reading through the "script", saying their lines, until the curtain draws. It's no wonder that society is so miserable (ie: depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, mass murder, etc.)
The thing is, at the end of the day, to live this way is a choice. It's true that the information is scarce, nobody is taught to respect life from a young age. School doesn't teach it. Parents don't teach it because they don't know it. Society doesn't teach it. The mental health field doesn't teach it. Religion most certainly doesn't teach it. It's almost entirely absent from all domains: secular and religious, public and private. That means a young human being must go in search of it.
I suppose, in part, that's healthy. If there were no search involved, it wouldn't be authentic. Every single one of us must make peace with life on our own, there's no getting around it, unless you decide not to make peace with it at all (and die by suicide, whether the overt one or the more common slow 'rot til you die' approach). On the other hand, though, it's reflective of the fact that our society is so fearful. This is why I cannot take the whole mental health / therapy / psychology field seriously: none of them talk about the simple fact that we are all facing an existential crisis - a crisis about what it means to be alive. The problem is not mental, it's spiritual, and it's about our views on life and how we relate to the world. The society would rather live in ignorance and pretend these questions don't exist rather than confront them. Because to confront them can be very terrifying. The truth about life is not comfortable.
In short, the information is scarce. But even so, it is still a choice to to live this way at the end of the day. There's the old proverb (I have no idea from where) that says "when the student is ready, the master appears". That's because, at the end of the day the biggest block isn't the scarcity of the information, it's our own resistance to the truth. Once you are ready to open your eyes, surely you'll start finding things that resonate. And that's the thing: the external information only serves as confirmation for what you already knew to be true inside of you. I think we all know these deeper truths on some level, that's why people will go to war and kill and die for their beliefs - it's the ultimate form of "compensating" for something, something which they know to be false.
It's odd to me, because there seems to be a sort of war on truth. The new New Age belief seems to be that there is no objective truth at all, which makes no sense, because in that case they wouldn't even be able to make case for that point. We all know deep down that some things are more true than others. I'm a fan of humility, and I'm fine with admitting that "all I know is I know nothing". But that doesn't mean I'm going to eat my cereal with poison instead of milk tomorrow morning.
It's no wonder, then, that "rationalists" or whatever you want to call them hate the whole New Age think. I don't consider myself New Age. I don't consider myself anything, really, but I understand that there's some overlap with what I talk about and spirituality. I'm OK with that. What "rationalists" miss, however, is the mystery of the whole thing. It cannot be entirely understood (even if I know enough to know I would rather eat my cereal with milk - I still cannot explain to you why I like my favorite cereal).
People settle.
The truth is, as far as I have been able to see, that your life is up to you. Certainly some people have it worse than others, and I'm not disputing that. It's not my business to go to some starving kid in a third world country and say "Hey bud your life is up to you". That's ridiculous. On the other hand, however, any of us who are fortunate enough to be on a website like this most likely have the tools to be able to do something cool with their life. And I always cite the example of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a Nazi labor camp. He said that he was free to choose his attitude despite that horrific situation, and if he can do it in those circumstances, I'm not sure that any of us have an excuse, either. (Not to say he was jumping for joy in a concentration camp, but he did choose to hold out hope, and he survived. I was criticized for talking about this once on Facebook - I soon learned this was not the best platform for my writing.)
If you've read any of my stuff, you know I like to mix more broader-based truths, as I see them, with more personal details. I think it helps illustrate my points, and I also like talking about it. It's part of my whole "enjoyment of life" thing.
I recently wrote a post about how "the material is good", speaking about my music but also my message. Today's post will be similar. Yesterday I got together with my band to talk about our new repertoire going forward. I write the vast majority of music though I do appreciate the contributions they make and also don't consider them replaceable. Anyway, we met at my house and I showed them 10-12 songs that I like for our band going forward: some quite old (10-15 years), some intermediate (3-5 years), and some recent (from 1 week to 1 year ago). They liked 9 of them and the other 3 were a maybe.
Like I said, I've had some of these songs for 10-15 years. Some of them I've had the privilege of playing live, but only a couple of times, but the vast majority no. I remember when I was 22 years old it was my dream to make a living with this music... I really feel like I had a message there. One year later, in AA, I would share in a meeting and flagellate myself by saying that "me and my best bud had a message, what it was, I don't know" - and everybody laughed (this was one thing that drove me away from AA, despite me remaining sober for 9.5 years as of writing: the self-condemnation). But that was wrong. I, we (my best friend and I) did have a message. I just didn't know exactly what it was.
Now I know, as much as I can put it into words, I suppose. Life sucked for me. Yeah, I was materially well-off, just like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. But like them, particularly like Dylan, I found no joy in life. No meaning. I did not feel accepted. Girls did not seem to like me. I can relate deeply to Dylan in that sense. My life sucked - money was not enough for me. But rock and roll, man, that made me feel alive. I could share my emotions, I could play and sing and dance, I could get my aggression out, and hey... girls took notice of me. I had never seen girls pay attention to me like after they did when I got up on stage. It was wild.
I would never say I did it or do it only for girls. I had one guy tell me that one time, and hey, at least he was honest. But that wasn't my case. Still, it was a nice side benefit. I think they were attracted to the same thing I was: that feeling of being alive.
Me and my best bud used to say "rock is life", half-jokingly, but actually in a serious sense, too. I think I coined this term, but I can't be sure, and in fairness we discovered what rock and roll meant together. He was the Eric to my Dylan. Luckily we didn't blow anybody's brains out. Anyway, if I recall correctly, it was because I wanted that feeling of rock, being up on stage, to apply to my entire life. Not just being on stage. All of my life was my stage. Thus, "rock is life". And I very distinctly remember part of it being unapologetic.
Just a quick note, for those who don't know me, that I don't glorify Harris and Klebold. The only reason I'm talking about them at all is because I've recently been doing a dive into the Columbine shooting because I'm fascinated by what could drive two kids to do something that horrific. The most interesting part, to me, is that Dylan and Eric weren't all that different from me and my friends. In fact, I think they actually had some valid grievances about life and about society (though not valid enough to justify what they did). I believe what I am doing is rooted in something similar to what they felt, but my conclusion about the course of action is the exact opposite: not the destruction of life, but rather, the celebration. In all of its facets - including the ugly.
In AA they called it "living life on life's terms". That's what I learned to do. At 22 years old, in the midst of my rock and roll dream, I had to get sober. I hit a guy on a bike in a drunk driving "accident" that was obviously my fault. Thank God he was okay, and I didn't run or anything, I made sure he was OK and I got arrested after confessing. Soon after I got sober, and I've been sober ever since. I'm very grateful to that - but I had to give up on my rock and roll dream.
Or that's what I thought, at least. I had no idea that 10 years later I'd be given the opportunity to play these songs again, for audiences that enjoy and appreciate my music. And why? Why me? Firstly, it's a gift. A gift from "God", if you will, or from life (I don't actually believe in a deity). I'm good at making music. It comes naturally to me. Where I come into is that I never gave up on myself or my music. Well, I sort of did at the beginning of sobriety, but even that was a great example of not giving up on myself. Deep down I think I knew that more important than the songs was the message behind them - I mean, in the way I choose to live my life. So while I was perhaps wrong to think that my music was not important, I never gave up on myself, and eventually that lead me to rediscovering my music a few years later. And here we are now.
I've fought for it. Getting into a band was sort of by chance, but configuring things in such a way that made sense has been a fight. We had a drummer who didn't like to play original music, only covers. We argued, and eventually he made the decision to leave without getting sacked. I told him I understood and we parted with a hug, no hard feelings. We had a bass player, a great guy and still my friend, who is a true musician and gets paid to play in cover bands and stuff. He always viewed our project as secondary. We had to cut him, too. And then there was a keyboardist who didn't fit our groove. We cut him, too.
In a way, it was all my brainchild. The rhythm guitarist is perhaps my best friend here overseas (by the way, 1 year into sobriety I moved overseas to help find myself). I told him to pick up a bass. The new drummer was on the same page as he and I in terms of the music we wanted to make. I proposed we do a power trio. And that's what we did. And people here are loving it.
If you look at the accomplishments themselves, they're not actually that impressive. Just a few local shows and one small show outside of town. But there's something about the reception we're getting. It's not only positive, like, "hey, I liked your band". People genuinely seem to be enjoying our music and giving praise that goes beyond what is expected in order to be nice / friendly. It's an amazing feeling, and confirmation of what I think I knew to be true 10 years ago: my music is good, and life is worth it. I think the fact that I've continued fighting for 10 years just makes the message even stronger - I never gave up, even through the bad times.
All of this is to say that I never imagined I would be here today. Maybe this sounds like an Oscar award speech or something, which is ridiculous given the "minimal" achievements my band and I have had. But to me they're not minimal. Again, it's not necessarily about the material success, but rather the spiritual success of knowing that I took a stand somewhere and contributed something valuable to the world. And had a lot of fun along the way, too. That's worth more than gold (and who doesn't love gold?)
I couldn't write a whole post about my life without mentioning the girl I like right now. Man, I'm very attracted to her, and I "love" her, whatever that means. Maybe it's ridiculous since I hardly know her, but I think about her a lot, and I'd like to get to know her more. If you're reading this, no, it's not the girl I met on Reddit, though I am fond of that girl, too, and wouldn't mind hearing from her again. But yeah, the girl in real life is great.
It's weird. As much as I'd like to get her in bed or whatever (it'd be fun), it's almost like I just want to be discovered or something. I feel there's a lot going on with me, and I'm eager to share it with the world. I think it's valuable. Of course, she is dealing with her own issues, so it's best to go slow. I'm OK with being patient, she's worth it. (I wouldn't mind getting to know her, either.)
I think what I never understood with love was that it's just a plus, not the main event. People say this all the time, but it's difficult to digest when you're lonely. It's true though. You have to make your own life the main event. IMO that doesn't mean "create a great social life, go to clubs, go to the gym" and all these other material milestones that people create. Nah. For me, it's a more spiritual question. What do you want your life to be about? Figure that out then embark on the journey. Love is a wonderful stop on that journey. No movie or story would be complete without it, right? Well, life wouldn't be, either.
Anyway, all of this is to say that life is worth it. It's a lot of bullshit sometimes. The day-to-day can be grueling, even if you're lucky like me and have a job that you somewhat enjoy. And then you've got to clean the house, pay taxes, deal with people's dysfunction (including your own)... it's hard! But it's like I said earlier, life is what you make of it. That's my whole message. It's really extremely simple. Simple, but not easy, I guess. But I guess I just decided that I was going to give it a try (more than once, actually), and I'm really, really glad I did.

I seem to call out to the wind quite so often.. hoping that someone out there, hears my cries and listens.
Are you listening?
I come here often, peeking behind the curtains, seeing if what I’m looking for is out there. It seems like it isn’t, yet, I’m the kind of person who’s stubborn and I continuously keep screaming out into the wind - begging, for someone to listen.
Because if the wind listens, surely someone out there will too.
I’m probably young enough to be your daughter and I have a mouth that more often than not gets me in trouble but I promise I’m still someone who’s soft enough to keep around.
With that being said, this is what I’m looking for:
Someone who takes absolute pleasure in discovering others. And by that, I don’t mean asking about their favorite color and all that small, dry talk.
I mean, go in depth. It is depth that allows words to stop being simply words after all.
I’d love to write digital letters or some form of shared journal entries with someone. Although, I ask you be patient and allow me to take my time to get back to you, since yknow, life gets in the way sometimes.
I tend to pour myself out into my writing so therefore, I’m seeking someone who can do that too.
I want to be able to see you through every word, every line, paragraph, you speak to me.
So, I’ll begin..
Dear stranger,
I find it difficult to shut the voices up late at night when my distractions go to sleep.
I stay up until I can’t no more, until my eyes burn and my fight against sleep, finally comes to an end.
‘I’m a fighter’ I tell myself..
So, I pick unnecessary battles to prove it to myself.
Like my battle against sleep. However, it’s always a lost battle. I lose and surrender to a deep slumber that helps aid me back to life.
Back to a life that doesn’t belong to me.
A life, that’s not for me.
I wonder, do you too often ignore the bowl in you burning to be filled?

Happy weekend brethren all!
I try and post topics that garner discussion and in this instance and interesting discussion happened in a lodge I had visited during the week.
To set the stage - a vote on a potential candidate went through and afterwards there was an informal discussion on the counting of the balls when one of the GL officers mentioned two interesting instances involving black balling.
In one instance there was a vote to re-admit a brother but 10 of the 11 votes were blackballs and the proposer in disgust threw off his cuffs and jewel and quit then and there.
However, in the second instance it was found that there were 3 black balls, but the director of ceremonies had put those 3 black balls in his pocket in order to clear the candidate wherein it took a Brother to speak up and say there was trickery afoot as he had voted black.
GL (rightly so) took an investigation into the matter and suspended the DC in question (although my view it should have resulted in expulsion).
Which begs the discussion - what crazy occurrences have you witnessed as a result of a petition vote?
Keep well all.

This is pretty self explanatory.
Unless your navy is really small (and I mean really really small) in our own world it will never be in one location in its entirety. That’s because you use your navy to defend your waters or project power, and generally you want to do more of that than do that in one location. Besides, your entire fleet being on deployment is another thing that will probably not happen. Ships always need maintenance or they will be deployed somewhere doing some mission.
Now let’s go back to the Star Wars galaxy. I could underhand a planetary security force only being on one planet or in one system as that is their only area of jurisdiction. But it’s the New Republic Navy that is supposed to defend the entire New Republic and if that is the mission, putting the entire fleet in orbit of Hosnian Prime simply doesn’t make any form of sense. You would need ships patrolling in other planets and system not to mention that other ships would be under refit or maintenance on shipyards, which probably wouldn’t happen at Hosnian Prime as we don’t know about significant shipyards there.
Simply, this doesn’t make sense, even explaining the fact that the New Republic doesn’t have much of a navy after the whole stupid disarmament.
Now if you wanted to eliminate the Republic and it’s fleet, you could just have the First Order attack all of their other fleets at the same time as Starkiller is being fired. Now I don’t think that would take care of all of the Republic Fleet, but it could cause major damage to a force that isn’t that big to begin with. If there were some story covering these survivors you might have a really cool story.
Also speaking of all of this, most of the Republic’s military power is supposed to come from the planetary defense forces which if combined would probably be far larger than the New Republic’s fleet.
Where the hell are they?
Now I’m sure that a decent number of systems decided to leave the Republic and seek a seperate peace woth the First Order or surrender or do something else like that. Or they may be trying to protect their homeworld. But wouldn’t they also rally around whatever remained of the Republic and try to fight back?
Maybe I should stop asking these questions about the sequals as i don’t think a lot of thought was put into this or the sequels in general. I know that a lot of people critizrd the prequels for being politics heavy but you know what, it certainly added depth to universe.

I’m reposting this with a new title because the last one had a spoiler in the title.
Anyway this was the original post and the comments:
I don’t think Lucy ever lost her Talent. Also I have a question about Marissa Fittes.
Eternity with the skull? Would Lucy be glad or hate it? Lol
Also in what order do you think the 4 main characters lost their Talent and what age? For me I think Holly would lose hers first, George would lose his maybe the next year and Lockwood might keep his a bit longer than most people. If Lucy does lose hers then I think she’ll lose it a lot later than most people. What do you think?
And how come in The Empty Grave Marissa Fittes can still speak to Ezekiel. Was her spirit THAT young? Or was her Talent just insane? If her Talent was just that good then maybe Lucy could keep hers. Also btw I would love it if none of them ever lost their Talents.
Comments:
Lex1253 • 5h Book Reader Your order for the team losing their Talent is spot-on. It's weird to think, but if there's still a need for Agencies after The Problem is resolved Lockwood & Co. certainly will not be a part of it. They're Agents in their prime, and it's only down from here... Personally, I think Marissa is kind of a special case. She's technically speaking a spirit, so it makes sense she can interact with other spirits.
mionenoelle • 1h The books imply people with exceptional Talent can keep them longer. Case in point being Sir Rupert Graves. I assume Marissa did too. Lucy and maybe Lockwood might keep theirs into adulthood. But even if none of the team does, they can always use tools like the goggles or other gadgets from the Orpheus Society. Barnes will be mass producing those for sure. I think there will be adult agents in the future because of these gadgets.
Stmpnksarwall • 1h Didn't they imply in the books that part of why Marissa and Sir Rupert were able to keep theirs was because they were crossing into the other side occasionally?

I had that damn el spongebob stuck in my head from John dancing to it and found it on youtube. maybe everybody already knows this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xILQRZ1F1OE
the lyrics:
Spongebob Bob Bob Bob I'm Spongebob, I'm Spongebob I'm a sponge and this is my color, I'm spongebob, I'm spongebob, Yellow like Cumin I'm Spongebob, I'm Spongebob I'm a sponge and this is my color, I'm spongebob, I'm spongebob, Yellow like Cumin I'm very popular, I'm a loyal boy since my birth No matter how much I played, went upstairs, downstairs, my clothes don't get dirty. I do 120 push ups once I wake up Tom and Jerry are plotting for me, thinking I'm a Roumi Cheese Messed up scrabbles scribbles, something going right, it looks like it's planned Messed up scrabbles scribbles, something going right, I want you all to sleep and pull the blanked Messed up scrabbles scribbles, something going right, I feel like my life isn't going right. or something like that.

i’m (20f) talking to this guy i met on a dating app (21m) and we have really hit it off. we’ve been talking back and forth staying up late and just having really great conversations over snapchat for a couple of weeks now. i am really wanting to meet him in person, but he lives an hour away from me.
i’m not sure if it’s the right time to ask him if he wants to meet up or if i should wait for him to ask me. i also don’t know how this sort of thing works, like if i’m gonna be expected to sleep with him on the first date, or what the general rules are, considering i’ve never met anyone from a dating site before. this all just feels very foreign to me as i was in a long term relationship up until the end of last year and i’m only just getting my bearings in the adult dating world. i know it will be different for everyone, but i am really interested in having a couple of dates and seeing how it goes before sleeping together, but don’t know in that’s considered abnormal in my generation especially when it comes to meeting people on these apps. would really appreciate some advice or anecdotes please :)

I’m autistic and I had no idea I lived with this disability all my life and how it effects my daily life and interactions. Especially with other people or NT people and it felt impossible to make friends with them. I’ve been made fun off, bullied and called weird all my life and now entering the work force it’s impossible to get a job. It effects my daily life on how I get treated and o felt like the lost bile creature on earth. Lack of communication and unable to articulate directions or instructions, get annoyed when I ask too much questions. Being called weird for one of my quirks and accidentally hurting someone’s feelings when I didn’t mean what I said and they pick apart my entire character and my flaw and I need to own up and take accountability. What I say to that is fuck you! Fuck you all and your hypocrisy!
Im tired! Im exhausted all the time trying to mask in this awful oppressive world and function in my 9-5 jobs. I get my feelings hurt and made to feel uncomfortable all the time when I try to speak and I get ignored, or had eyes rolled at me, being called slow, constantly humiliated and having to be overlooked because of my autistic traits which is looked down to being incompetent.
If I accidentally hurt your feelings, eat shit! If I make you uncomfortable? Tough shit, I’m uncomfortable all the time, I made to feel stupid, inferior, people called me retarted or slow all the time. I don’t feel human anymore. Im always put in uncomfortable situations and people hurt my feelings all the time and I suck it up and let it fester inside me. I learn the hard way my feelings do not matter because I’m overlooked and give off the uncanny valley and make fucking shitty NT’s “uncomfortable.”
I’m tired of masking to make myself mold into your standards! I hate it so much I don’t feel like a person anymore! I hate how ND and autistic people have decided that we need to work on ourselves and hold accountability and it’s okay if the NT’s don’t reciprocate! Fuck that! Utterly fuck that! We have our own limits, it’s time we stop taking accountability and leave them! I’m all about separatism! I’m so sick of NT’s and this society, I wonder how my life would’ve been if I knew I was disabled! I am disabled!
Apparently I make NT’s uncomfortable that I mention I am disabled because it’s not funny anymore to make fun of a disabled person is it instead of a weird person. God, I hope you burn in hell!
Our lives are put in danger and made to feel uncomfortable all the time! Not as severe as other oppressive groups like trans, Jewish, poc, black! But how come it’s okay they form a safe space and talk about protecting themselves while ND’s have to extend an olive branch? We are oppressed too! Their lack of understanding has effects on our daily lives, socially, and career lives. It can get us arrested if we have meltdowns in public and it can leave us homeless because we can’t hold jobs! Our lives are in danger too! It can lead to depression, suicide, and addiction!
Why not us? We need help too! We need support! Is it because we come off as weird we are seen less human and less deserving of rights? It isn’t fair at all that is ND’s have to extend an olive branch to the NT’s and hold ourselves accountable for their fucking feelings! I refused to explain myself, if I hurt your feelings? Good! I hope it hurts as how you hurt mind! I don’t care if it makes me as bad as them or I’m not the bigger person.
It’s exhausting! I’m uncomfortable all the time and I don’t need your hurt feelings to add to that! I’m so angry and hurt and I will share that pain. I’m not going to set myself on fire to keep others warm. I’m human and I have my limits and needs like everyone else’s. I utterly hate NT’s and I want to stay away from them and build a community where I am safe! Just like trans, Jews, black, POCs do! I deserve to feel safe and away from my oppressors.

Hi all, I’m a current ophthalmology resident at the University of Pennsylvania (Scheie Eye Institute). We have an open PGY2 residency spot starting July 1, 2023. One of our current PGY1’s is leaving the program to relocate due to family circumstances.
The application for the spot is available now on SF Match: https://www.sfmatch.org/vacancies?sid=97baf738-9b5b-4b50-b715-444111a28b6d&specialty=%5Bobject%20Object%5D
The requirements for application are: “applicants must have graduated from a US medical school and either have completed an ACGME accredited internship or be on schedule to complete an ACGME accredited internship by July 1, 2023.”
Personally, I cannot speak more highly of the quality of the program & the people involved with it. If you have any questions or want more information, please feel free to DM me.

I am working on my final project and it is super duper stressful. Especially these last days have been awful. I start shaking and getting stomach cramps as soon as I sit in front of my computer.
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What helped me is taking it literally one small step at a time. I think of sitting at my desk. I tell myself "Okay, I am thinking of sitting on my desk now. Might not do it if I am not ready, just thinking." (because just thinking messes me up lol) Actually saying it out loud helps I think. When I feel ready I sit and say "Okay I am sitting at my desk right now. I don't have to open my computer if I don't feel like it." I reassure myself by saying "It is okay if I don't open my computer today. I sat on my desk. That counts as progress cuz it is." and it helps me calm down.
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I do it while I am working, too. Literally like "Now I click here... waiting for it to process... something is wrong so I will undo it... do it again... it looks good... let's save it... you did good."
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I used to mentally shame myself by thinking "Ugh, I can't even sit on my desk and open the fucking file let alone work on it! I am useless." Obviously it doesn't help. But I couldn't shake the thought off. So I SPEAK OUT LOUD the affirming thoughts so that they're louder than my sneaky negative thoughts.

I was behind on rent the the month of April and I advised my leasing off that idc pay in 4/14. I was given another extension until 4/24 to pay to avoid eviction. My apartment complex adds the next months rent on the 24th of each month. So I needed a few more days to come up with the rent for May because the complex does not accept anything other than online payments. Per my lease agreement, we are not charged a late fee until after the 3rd of the month.
On 5/3 I go into the portal to pay but my account said “PAYMENTS DISALLOWED”. On 5/4 the complex sent me a demand letter but my online account still would not accept payments. I had 3 days from that letter to pay, but they disabled my account. I know because I called the company and they informed me that the landlord did it. So idk how I was supposed to pay when the only way I could was blocked?
I called the leasing office back to back to speak to the woman over payments and I kept getting the run around.
I was served papers for an eviction filed on 5/9, which I think is unfair because I have the full amount, but they disabled my account. It’s still disabled and I have court on 6/22.
Idk what to do. I don’t have any family or anywhere to go and I’m in nursing school. I can’t afford to be homeless. Please any advice will help!!! Please no judgement, I know that I was late but I exhausted efforts to pay for April abd May before they filed.

My fiance has joint custody of her son with the biological father. Lately, there has been problems with the father breaking a few rules of the custody agreement between the two. I tell her that I think the best course of action would be to get full custody because of the breech and put the father on child support. She's afraid that if she goes for full custody and puts the father on child support then the father would try to find a way to be more controlling (bickering and nit-picking) because he would be on child support and taking ownership of what he is paying for so-to-speak. I'm not confident, but I think that since she has full custody he wouldn't be allowed to influence much of anything, if at all. Am I right in thinking that? How much influence would he actually have if he were put on child support and my fiance has full custody?

What’s good, passionate people? After half a decade working as a songwriter in the shadows of other artists, I am looking to finally release something of my own. I am very down to earth and easy to work with.
I have an interesting vocal infliction, basically a soprano (I am a man,haha) I would love to work with a talented producer from this subreddit in creating a track or two. I am primarely interested in dance music, hence why I am writing to you here. I already posess entire books of melodies and lyrics, which should make the process swift. Please hit me up if you have an interesting track/beat you’d like to collaborate on. I have a studio where I can lay down the vocals, and we can see where it takes us from there.
xoxo, Leif

I fill in for a 19 year Grade 1/2 Teacher. I adore her class and always come in to help because they are high needs and I like everyone.
Then I see her FB. She has two pictures. One is of her in the tightest dress with her cleavage possibly implants on display. Another she is kissing s snowman with her backside on display.
We always email one another because she basically is not as enthusiastic about the role and I share some ideas with her. She always tells me she thinks I push her kids and I am great and would like me to come in when possible. Then, I meet her and she is wearing club pants skin tight with long glittery blue nails. I just don't get it. Another day, she wears more skin tight club pants with a see through blouse.
I feel like children need a role model and she is exposing herself here. I get it, we can not be reprimanded necessarily for our clothing choices. I was always trained to be the example. Therefore, I wear modest attire, paying attention to when it is appropriate to wear short sleeves tops even. Every time I see her, she is wearing the skimpiest pants I have ever seen on a Teacher. No one else I know says it is unusual. She has invited me out for coffee next time we are at school. I do not want to make an enemy but my sense of professionalism tells me to ask her why the full on body expose? If I am speaking like I am from another era, I feel that way also because all my family that taught did it over 50 years ago and they went by stricter rules.
TY in advance!