Would you still be friends with someone who is friends with everyone?
I (f28) have a friend, let’s call her J (f28), who I’ve been friends with for about 15 years. We get along very well, always laugh when we’re together and meet up once a month or so.
My issue is, J is friends with absolutely everyone. This includes people we went to high school with who treated both her and I like shit. I’m all for forgiveness and I don’t hold anything against those people anymore however J is actively friends with them including traveling by plane to their weddings and going out on nights out with them. I’m yet to meet someone J won’t be friends with. I guess it just makes me feel like I’m just another person to her and it all feels a bit fake.
It’s been on my mind a lot as J just posted photos online spending time with someone who has lied to both of us multiple times and posted inappropriate photos of J online without her consent.
So, would you stay friends with J?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Doingokay_
Mysterious reoccurring blood splatter in our bathrooms… is my husband lying to me?
Originally posted to RBI
Original Post Mar 16, 2023
Buckle up, this one is a weird one. Since me (24f) and my husband (26m) have moved into our apartment 8 months ago, I have been finding random blood splattering on the walls, cabinets, and floors around our toilets, and once even our bathroom mirror. They’re usually tiny droplets but sometimes they get smeared on the walls or floor, I assume when they’re fresh/wet.
I know that the first suspect would be menstruation blood, however I have not had a period in 2 years thanks to my birth control.
I first noticed it about 3 or 4 months ago. I’ve asked my husband about it and the first few times he would tell me that he had no clue where it came from or how it got there. But after I would clean it up and new ones would appear, I kept would ask him again. Eventually he told me that sometimes when he blows his nose, his nose bleeds and it could be from that. I partially accepted that answer, however I can’t recall a single time where I’ve blown my nose and missed the tissue so much that my snot sprayed all around me? I also mentioned to him that your nose is not supposed to bleed when you blow it and maybe he should see an ENT to see what’s up but he refuses and says it’s fine.
So the cycle continues. I clean up blood droplets and they reappear around our toilets in a matter of days. When I mention them he gets frustrated and short with me and doesn’t want to talk about it. He has doubled down on the “it’s from blowing my nose” thing but I still can’t imagine how 1) he blows his nose so terribly that it sprays snotty blood in every direction and 2) his nose bleeds every day and he’s not concerned about it?
I recently asked him if his nose has always done that. I previously dated somebody with a “thin nose lining” and they once got a massive nose bleed from me doing the “got your nose” thing so I know it’s possible. But he said no, he “doesn’t think” it’s been like that always and then he pressured me to stop the conversation. Also, I would never find blood in our previous house’s bathrooms and we lived there for 4 years.
I’ll add that we have a regular sex life and I’ve seen basically every inch of him and there’s no sign of any cuts or trauma anywhere.
I’m sick of cleaning up blood and I’m also repulsed by the idea that he doesn’t know how to blow his nose without spraying bloody mucous everywhere. I’m also very concerned for him if he really has new nosebleeds every day, as a friend from high school had this happen and he ignored it and it ended up being cancer in his sinus cavities.
So here I am, asking Reddit, what the heck is going on? Is he lying to me? Is it really his nose? If so, why is he suddenly bleeding every day? Why is he so defensive about it? What is going on?!
Edit to answer some FAQs:
• Yes we have pets but the blood shows up only bathrooms, including the guest en suite where the pets are not allowed ever. Those rooms are closed off. No blood anywhere where the pets are allowed.
• I am in control of finances and there is no money missing ever. Both our direct deposits go into our joint account. He has a credit card but the only checking account he has is our joint one.
• He does have hemorrhoids but so do I (thanks Crohns Disease!) and I’ve never gotten blood anywhere but the toilet
• He gets medical anxiety and this could be why he is defensive bc he should probably see a doctor
• He told me that when he goes to the bathroom at night he doesn’t turn any lights on so that he doesn’t wake me (I’m a light sleeper) and when he blows his nose he doesn’t see the blood since it’s dark. He does have pretty bad allergies.
• He has had no behavioral changes since this started
Also adding a comment I made…
“For those suggesting drugs:
I am not dismissing you. I’m getting shamed for “ignoring” the comments suggesting it’s drugs but I’m still absorbing the possibility that it might be and I need TIME. I also can’t just willy-nilly accuse my husband of doing drugs without hard evidence because if I did and he isn’t doing drugs then that’ll put a huge strain on our relationship. If my husband accused me of shooting up in my spare time without evidence I would be pissed. Again, I’m not ignoring you or dismissing your theories, I’m just taking my time because that’s a shocking thing and I need to process the possibility.
So if he were hiding drugs in our tiny apartment, where should I look? I checked inside the toilets. I pulled apart every drawer. Our ceilings are too high for either of us to reach. If you have experience with addiction or living with someone with addiction, please guide me to finding more evidence.”
RELEVANT COMMENTS
peyerate

Do y'all have a dog that wags their tail a lot? Definitely a chance they have an injury that bleeds when they happily hit their tail all over the room. Or could be any other animal.

OOP replied

So we do have pets including a dog however I find the blood in both our master bathroom as well as our guest en suite bathroom and the pets aren’t allowed in the guest area. We keep them all shut off.

.
snailhair_j

What sort of frequency does this occur? I'd ask to see how he blows his nose, that way you know a) if it's actually from his nose and b) if it is his nose then you'll see how he's getting it everywhere.

OOP replied

I rage clean the blood at least once a week which means it all appears within a week.
Also in the 6 years we have been together, I’ve never seen him blow his nose aside from the one time he had a sinus infection. And it wasn’t bloody, and it didn’t spray everywhere.

.
VigilanteDetective64

Could he be cheating on you?
Don’t mean to be grim…but period sex can in fact cause blood splatter.

OOP replied

Oof but is he only cheating on my with girls on their periods? Bc it’s literally every week they reappear.
Also I really don’t think he is cheating.

Update May 27, 2023
An update some (probably very few) have been waiting for:
We solved the case of the bloody bathroom.
Now, I know that there will inevitably be some users who truly believe that my husband is discreetly hiding a drug problem despite this update and harass me about it, so I will be no longer using this account after it’s posted.
To preface, I received about 10 DM’s that offered to send pictures of what their, or a loved one’s, blood evidence of shooting up or snorting looked like and I was thankful that literally none of it looked like what I was finding. Those photos, the lack of gaps in our finances, no history of unexplainable personality changes, as well as the fact that I cleaned/searched every inch of our 800-square-foot apartment and found nothing suspicious, solidified my conclusion that it wasn’t drugs. I am pleased to announce that my husband… is just gross.
Before I continue, I’d like to thank those who sent me photos and personal anecdotes of their or their loved one’s drug use and I wish you all peace and good health in your lives.
So obviously it’s been a few months since my post. In that time, I was harassed in my DMs with people calling me ignorant, some suggesting that I divorce my husband based on this wild possibly that he might be using hard drugs. Firstly, if my husband had a drug problem, I wouldn’t leave him lol I’d want to help him; I love him and addiction is a disease and he would need support.
But alas, I found myself searching dark corners of cabinets and furniture crevices for secret drug-hiding spots and found nothing. I sat him down for yet another conversation about the blood and he reassured me he was having nighttime nose bleeds and promised that he would turn on the lights from then on to make sure he cleaned it up because I did not deserve the burden of doing so for him. He lived up to his promise and after that conversation I noticed he was turning the light on when he went to blow his nose at night and the blood drops stopped appearing.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, I was on Instagram and came across a reel that was titled “Signs you’re using your nasal spray wrong”. The very first “sign” was new, unrelenting nose bleeds. The metaphorical lightbulb over my head illuminated, as I remembered that since we moved to a new part of the state, my husband’s allergies have been worse and he started taking flonaise to control it. The time of the blood appearing was about a week and a half after he started taking the nasal spray. I know this because he uses my prescription ever since flonaise came out with a pill version that I like better.
As soon as he came home I showed him the video I saw, which also demonstrated how to properly use nasal sprays (YOU HAVE TO TILT IT!!! NOT shoot it straight up!!!). He took a week off of the flonaise to “reset” his sinuses and last week started using it again, the correct way. And holy cow. He stopped snoring. His voice sounds different. His nose stopped whistling. And thank the lord, he stopped having midnight nose bleeds.
No more blood, but also no more paranoia on my part and he can properly breathe out of his nose for the first time we moved here.
You may be wondering why he didn’t see a doctor when the nosebleeds started, its because we are poor and he has medical anxiety.
But yeah. Case solved!
TLDR: husband wasn’t using hard drugs as the internet suggested, he was using his nasal spray incorrectly.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

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ne pas avoir les cramptés moi ? serieusement ^{^} haha on me l avait pas sortie celle la depuis looooongtemps demande a mes potes si j’ai pas les cramptés tu vas voir les reponses que tu vas te prendre XD rien que la semaine passee j ai eu les cramptés donc chuuuuut ferme la quoicoubaka de merde car oui toi tu m as tout l air d un bon quoicoubaka de merde car souvent vous etes frustrer de ne pas avoir les cramptés ses agreable d’avoir les cramptés ou des apagnans avec une quoicoubae hein? tu peux pas repondre car tu ne sais pas ce que c ou alors tu le sais mais tu as du taper dans ta barre de recherche "cramptés" ou "apagnans" pour comprendre ce que c etait mdddrrr !! c est grave quoiquil en soit.... pour revenir a moi, je pense que je suis le mec avec le plus de cramptés de ma bande de 11 meilleurs amis pas psk j ai eu le plus d’apagnans mais psk j ai eu les plus jolie quoicoubibou que mes amis ses pas moi qui le dit, ses eux qui commente sous mes photos insta "trop belle la quoicoubibou avec qui t’as eu les cramptés hier en boite notamment!" donc apres si tu veux que sa parte plus loin sa peut partir vraiment loin j habite dans la banlieue de quoicoubeh sa te parle apagnan ? ses juste un cousin donc OKLM hahaha on verra si tu parles encore le quoicoubaka de merde mdddrrr pk insulter qd on est soi meme un quoicouflop tu me feras toujour marrer!!

Time stamp and microtech photos : https://imgur.com/a/3hBAPjJ
Scapegoat photos: https://imgur.com/a/jh8enqc
Annnnnnnnd another catch and release, Microtech msi, lbnib doesn’t seem to be carried ever or cut with, just got today and isn’t for me. Great knife but it’s not going to get carried by me. So looking to move it on for what I paid at 275 PayPal friends & family shipped via usps Monday at the latest.
Chaves street scapegoat ti: This one here is mint, was never supposed to leave the collection but you know how that goes. lbnib including the not so cool clip. M390 blade,The action on this boy flicks like a spydie almost.Don’t want to get rid of it but I’ve made some really bad choice’s lately. So with that being said, I’ll ship this via USPS, 300 275 obo worst I can say is no. PayPal f&f no notes. Will ship out Monday at the latest.
I would appreciate it if you guys wouldn’t tempt me with trades, really need to recoup some funds.

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Click here to start a trade.

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The gift cards I'm looking for with their rates:

Card	Crypto Rate1 (Ł)	Cashapp & Paypal F&F	Paypal G&S Rate
Amazon US (receipt preferred)	66%-70%	75%	75%
Best Buy	55%	55%	60%
Target	55%	60%	60%
Walmart	55%	60%	60%
Apple/iTunes US	45%-55%	50%	55%
Steam TR	60%	60%	65%
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T.J. Maxx	40%	45%	45%

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Seven months ago I bought a laptop from amazon. This laptop underneath the product images is shown to have a thunderbolt 4 usb port. Now that I have saved up enough money to upgrade it with an EGPU I cannot because the computer actually has usb c 3.2 which is very different from a thunderbolt 4. Amazon has told me I can’t refund it. Are they allowed to advertise an item as having a feature in the product images and then be completely wrong about it?

Tagged Photos and Timestamped
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I buy a lot of clothes and end up barely wearing any of them, so here I am having a clear out.
If you need measurements for any of the listed item don’t hesitate to ask.
For reference I am 6ft’3 88kg.
Dsquar*d Jeans Black - Size 50 (fits like a 32/33) - idk why I got these I’m not an Essex boy.
Price for Dsquar*d Jeans Black £15 + shipping
Dsquar*d Jeans Blue - Size 50 (fits like a 32/33) - Same as above.
Price for Dsquar*d Jeans Blue £15 + shipping
[email protected] embroidered stitch jeans - Size 36 - Nice jeans but I find myself wearing other things. Measurements
Price for [email protected] embroidered stitch jeans £35 + Shipping
He1mut [email protected] AW99 Flight Cargo - Size L - Marxism batch. Quality feeling cargos. Not my style. Measurements
Price for He1mut [email protected] AW99 Flight Cargo £45 + Shipping
Underc0ver Arts and Craft Jeans Blue - Size 6 - Marxism batch. Not my style. Worn a couple times. Measurements
Price for Underc0ver Arts and Craft Jeans Blue £90 + Shipping
Underc0ver Arts and Craft Jeans Black - Size 6 - Marxism batch. Same as above. Measurements
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Vuj@ De Carpenters - Size XL - again not my style worn once or twice. Measurements
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Memory transcription subject: Professor Haeli, Galactic Music Professor at White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 7, 2136
I've always taken my work seriously. Music might not be as directly applicable as engineering or business but it does have influence over the public. Even as an entry-level professor, I put forth great effort in my work. Even if it was for my own desire for integrity.
Still, Blyne’s expectations were surprising.
It's not that I felt incapable. Rather, no one had ever approached me with something so…delicate. This was a new development, something that had been lacking in my field for as long as I could remember.
So, naturally, I found myself completely and utterly stumped.
I was glad to see such importance placed on my position. I was often used to music being overlooked. For as much as the Federation touted the cultural advantage of prey species over the dreaded Arxur, songs didn’t defend the planet from raids. Guns did. I recognized that reality but often felt as though musical education was overly neglected. Despite the promise of newfound attention, being in such an unfamiliar situation had my nerves frazzled.
I was hoping Grace, being a professional Human musician, could offer me some insight on what I should do.
“The headmaster wants me to prove that Humans and Venlil have a place in one anothers’ societies. I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to prove that. I teach music, not socioeconomics.”
“I think he’s just looking for something practical, love. Maybe I could do a little virtual performance for him over video; show him that Humans are perfectly capable of cultural intelligence, and that we can be cordial in a performance setting.”
I still wasn’t used to her calling me ‘love’ like that. Apparently it was a dialect thing.
“That might help my case if it’s not too much trouble. He seems genuinely interested in what Humans are capable of.”
Could I even get Blyne to watch something like that though? He said he supports my efforts but still…
“Which reminds me, we still haven’t done a video call yet.”
I had tried so desperately to avoid the topic but she was always steering our conversation toward that fact. She was within her rights to desire such a thing. That was, after all, the point of the program.
“Grace, I know it’s only a matter of time. I just…It’s scary.”
“I assure you I don’t pose any threat. Look, if you’re going to get through all of this, you’ll need to make peace with our faces. Your student has already managed it. As his teacher, you shouldn’t let him overtake you so easily, in my honest opinion. You should be able to surpass him.”
“Sounds like an awfully competitive approach. Are all Humans that way?”
“You call that competitive? I’d call it a simple expectation. You’re supposed to be the one paving the way. That’s why you came up with this project, yeah?”
I sighed. She was right. It was my cowardice that was barring me from progressing. I’d decided to start this study and now I was being passed up by my own students.
“Alright. You win. Just…could you turn to the side at first. I don’t want to be met with predator eyes immediately.”
“Of course. I’ll turn the camera off if it goes to shite. But, I think you’ll find I’m less monstrous than you might imagine.”
I’d seen reference images. In some way, they were rather flimsy looking. Despite the piercing binocular eyes, they didn’t have the long claws or powerful builds of the Arxur. Still, even the still reference photos had sent a shiver down my spine.
This is Grace, though. You know her. It’s not some unnamed Human model.
I pulled the exchange app up to the computer screen, bracing myself for the Human visage.
“I’m ready.”
“Very well. I’m putting it on.”
The screen changed to reveal a Human side profile. Instantly, my heart rate shot up and I gripped the sides of my chair.
“Haeli, love? Are you alright? I actually can’t tell since I’m looking the other way.”
“I-I’m fine. I j-just need to a-adjust.”
“Take your time. It’s alright.”
Grace had switched from her regular voice to the sing-song voice she had used when I’d first spoken to her. The melodious tone helped to put me at ease.
I took deep, slow breaths to steady myself. My muscles began to relax and the shaking receded. I looked down to find that my claws had torn through the fabric on the armrests of my seat involuntarily.
I didn’t know my claws could even cut that well.
The realization gave me enough of a distraction to steady myself completely. I focused on the screen and took the image in. Grace’s one visible pupil and skin were different shades of brown. She wore a gray artificial pelt that ran over her shoulders and down out of the frame. Her hair, a deep black, sat tied back and drooping down behind her head. Her nose jutted outward to about the average length I’d seen in the references. Just as well, her mouth was fairly small, not lending itself to the idea of a jagged-toothed predator.
Her eyes remained fixed off to the side, trying not to look at me.
Welp. Here comes the hard part.
“I’m calm, I think. Please, turn to face me. I know that’s how Humans usually communicate.”
“Alright, I’ll turn my eyes first by themselves slowly. Then I’ll turn my whole chair.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement though she was no doubt unable to see it. In fact, she was probably unfamiliar with the motion in the first place.
How unfortunate to not be able to communicate in such ways. I wonder how Humans read each others’ body language?
As I considered such a thing, her one visible eye slowly swept towards the camera. After a moment, it was trained on me. I flinched slightly at the realization but stayed firm, continuing my deep breathing.
“I’m turning the chair now.”
Slowly, her whole body turned to face me, her eyes, now both visible, remained trained on the camera as though they were locked in their orientation. I shuddered at the sheer accuracy of her vision, letting out a slight whimper by accident.“Too much?”
“N-no. I-I’ll get through th-this. I h-have to.”
Grace slowly nodded her head in a motion I didn’t recognize. Submission? Concern?
Wait…I think I read that it was acknowledgement. Maybe I should do that in place of ear flicks. It’d be something we can both do and read easily. That is, if I can get through this without having a fucking heart attack.
Grace’s face was fully facing the camera. Part of me expected something terrible to happen, like my subconscious was warning me of impending doom even as my logical mind knew that it was just a video call. I held my eye up to her predatory stare, gripped by terror but unmoving regardless.
Of course, nothing actually happened. As I sat there in my office, far from any threat, I began to slowly let myself go slack. The tension I’d been experiencing left my body in increments. I took the time to study her more closely as curiosity got the better of me.
As I’d expected, the eyes were really the only threatening thing about her. Granted, her mouth was closed so I didn’t get a look at her teeth. From what I had heard, the Human canines were rather small and they also had teeth for crushing plant matter similar to our own.
“Are you…s-seriously an apex predator?”
The words had left my mouth before I had a chance to consider them. Even in my fearful state, I managed to question a predator’s ability to hunt. Was I out of my mind? Would that make her angry?
Her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she giggled in response. She was laughing at me?
“Oh, trust me, love. We didn’t become apex predators with our natural armaments. We were just smart enough to use strategy. That, and we can put just about anything on a hell of a flight path. Humans are rather well-versed when it comes to throwing.
Throwing things? There’s no way that’s all it takes.
“H-how does throwing things m-make you a good predator?”
“Prey animals on Earth can be dangerous up close. I know that’s a foreign concept for the Venlil but such wildlife can be difficult to hunt for that reason. Can’t get close? Fashion a spear and strike from afar. Simple as that.”
Dangerous prey? Humans must not be that naturally threatening if they consider prey dangerous.
As she gave me her explanation, I found myself beginning to fully relax. Despite the fact that she was talking about hunting, it was still her voice, one I’ve become familiar with over the last few paws. That recognition became my anchor, allowing me to make peace with her visage. It helped that she lacked the massive fangs and claws of an Arxur. It would take some time to adjust but I could accept the forward-facing eyes. That wasn’t enough to make a Human dangerous by itself.
I slowly raised my ears from the top of my head and tried to sit with the confidence befitting a professor.
“I a-apologize. I’m usually n-not such a mess.”
“I’ve heard plenty of disastrous stories about partner introductions. Comparatively, I think you’re doing quite well.”
“Th-thank you.”
I was doing it. I was speaking with a predator. This is what I’d expected of myself at the beginning but I still felt surprised. My desire to converse with Humans had come from my passion, my drive to make a difference and learn new things. My aversion had come from my experience, having only known predators as evil monsters for all my life. The two lines of reasoning were clashing in my mind. But, I could feel the optimism winning out. I could do this.
“So,” Grace continued. “How about we drum up a catalog I can play for the headmaster? I’m sure between the two of us, we can make something appealing.”
“R-right. That’s a good idea.”
Can I really get Blyne to listen to her? I guess I have no reason not to try. He's been supportive thus far.
Part of me wished the doubters had been right; that Humans would have no musical complexity. Now I’m faced with a daunting challenge. I could only hope that I had the capabilities to succeed, not just for my own sake, but for our chances of working with Humans in the future.
-
Memory transcription subject: Kila, Venlil Engineering Student (First Year) White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 7, 2136
If the simulations were trustworthy, the slender metal tubing I’d left laying in my dorm room should work well enough.
Theoretically, of course.
Unfortunately, I was still missing the most important part. The vibration mechanism was continuing to act as my biggest roadblock. I’d been engrossed with the project against my better judgment since my call with Brad. I would probably benefit from a break but the frustration of not being able to figure it out had taken me hostage. Even in the midst of lectures, I was playing with the simulation rather than taking notes.
“Kila, the lesson ended some time ago. Are you stumped by something?”
The words of Professor Gretty snapped me out of my focus. Despite my wide field of vision, I’d still somehow managed to ignore the entire lecture hall being vacated. I felt my face turn orange with embarrassment.
“No, sir. Actually, I was working on my own project. Sorry, I might have not been paying as much attention as I should have been.”
He flicked his tail in a motion of indifference.
“You’re one of the more capable students in this class. Not many students attend office hours for the first five sessions.”
It was no exaggeration. As the term had begun, I’d confided in Professor Gretty for an early engineering project. It had been my goal to overachieve initially to give myself a buffer in case I struggled later on. All in all, I was glad for those efforts now that I was most definitely slacking in regards to my school work.
“I’m glad you think highly of me sir. You’re a capable teacher in your own right.”
“I appreciate the compliment but I must say I’m curious. What exactly are you working on that has your attention so captivated that you don’t notice that you’re in a room devoid of people?”
“I’m trying to figure out how to redesign a h-”
Probably shouldn't bring up the specifics. It's a touchy subject.
“-an instrument for Venlil use. It typically uses a method of playing that we can’t naturally replicate. Basically, I need to cause buzzing at this point to vibrate the air column in the instrument.”
I motioned to the point on the model. The mechanism needed to be small, able to fit into the end of the tubing. I’d been hashing out ideas for far longer than I would have liked.
“The main trick,” I continued. “Has to do with the changing frequency. See, it has to change along with the slide as it moves in and out. Also, it has to be able to change harmonics depending on each position. The player needs to push air through the system to maintain the internal state. So, I need a way to create the vibrations independent of that while still allowing air to pass through. As of right now, I'm just trying to work through the math and figure out what frequencies I need at what lengths to get everything resonating properly.”
Gretty studied the design closely, taking stock of the model thus far.
“Odd. I’ve never seen an instrument like this before. Why rework an instrument anyway? You're not a music student. Is it a personal project?”
Glad that he didn’t pry anymore into the origins of the device, I answered before he could decide to.
“Yes, it’s a personal project. A friend of mine actually is a music student. I thought he might enjoy using an exotic instrument but it’s proving difficult to accommodate for our anatomy.”
“I’m not much of an engineer but I could maybe help you figure out the frequencies required to create the right resonance. Send me the dimensions and I’ll see what I can do.”
“Oh, it’s not that big of a deal, professor. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Nonsense. I’m happy to see my students applying what they learn even for personal projects. After all, what good would an education be without practical use? Send me the dimensions. I insist.”
I flicked my ears in affirmation.
“Thank you, professor! I’ll get those to you right away.”
“Remember, Kila,” he leaned in for emphasis. “If you run into any issues you think I can help with, I’ll lend you a paw. Just make sure to do your best.”
Flicking my ears one more time, I picked up my belongings and made my way for the exit.
Maybe I should have been less secretive with him. No. I can’t risk it. Human integration is a controversial topic right now. It’s good to know he’s willing to help, though. Having the numbers mapped out would make it way easier to design the mechanism.
I could probably emulate the vibrations easily enough. It’d take some tricky robotics to get the different frequency options working. The real question was how to handle the controls. A Venlil player wouldn’t just be able to move the muscles in their mouths the same way a Human can. I’ll need to find a way to get it to respond to the movement in the slide automatically. Then, maybe I could place buttons on the slide itself to change the harmonic up or down. It'd probably have to be a short-range wireless setup. I'd need to make sure there isn't a noticeable delay too.
It’s going to take some finnicking with electronics. I hope I remember how to design compact circuits. Plus there's the code to write. Should be simple enough.
All of this for something a Human can do with their lips. I was really running against the wind for this.
-
Memory transcription subject: Professor Haeli, Galactic Music Professor at White Hill University
Date [standardized human time]: September 8, 2136
Entering Blyne’s office, the plateau of paperwork seemed to have only gotten taller. He peaked up over the impending workload, eyes even more tired than before.
“Hello, Professor Haeli. I hope the paw has treated you better than it’s treated me so far.”
I took a seat across from him, just barely able to make him out over the wall of documents.
“Judging by the new height of your desk, I’d say it probably has, headmaster.”
He chuckled at the comment, though the fatigue crept through his features.
“I’m still determined to make time for you. After all, most of this paperwork is awaiting your conclusions anyway.”
I swished my tail in understanding but he may not have noticed given the stacks were impeding his vision.
“Honestly, headmaster, I’m somewhat surprised that you agreed to this. It took me several paws to work up the courage to enter a video call with my partner. Are you sure that this is a good idea?”
“I trusted you to be head over Human studies for the time being. And, I told you that I’d support you where I could. Hundreds of Venlil have entered visual contact with humans. If the integration continues as it has, that number will only grow. I’ll handle it. I trust your judgment. Also, I think I'm too damn tired to bolt from my desk at the sight of your partner.”
Flicking my ears in acknowledgement, I turned my attention to my pad. Navigating the app, I initiated a video call with Grace. Hopefully, she hadn’t forgotten about the time we’d decided on.
I was satisfied to see that she had remembered as her side profile appeared on the screen. I flinched slightly but stayed composed. This time, the camera seemed further away, able to capture the image of both her and her piano. The device was one of the more recognizable Human instruments. According to Grace, it was standard for songwriters to have one. Easy to learn but incredibly difficult to master.
“All set here, love,” she spoke without turning to face me. Instead, her binocular eyes were trained on the pages in front of her.
“Headmaster Blyne, are you ready?” I questioned, giving him one last chance to back out.
“Turn the pad to me, Professor Haeli. I’m prepared.”
I slowly spun the pad around to face Blyne, propping it up against a tower of paper. He tensed up and inhaled sharply at the sight. However, after a moment, he began to relax his muscles.
“G-greetings. My name is B-Blyne. I'm the headmaster at W-White Hill University. To whom d-do I owe the pleasure?”
“My name is Grace Patel. But, I know the Venlil typically only use one name. You may refer to me as just Grace. I'm a professional musician that specializes in this: the piano.”
“W-what a peculiar device,” he observed. “Quite large for a musical instrument, no?”
Despite the initial quiver in his voice, by the time he reached the end of his thought, it already carried the same confidence that was typically present.
He got over it that fast? I guess I should expect nothing else from the headmaster. He’s used to dealing with stress.
“Yes, sir,” came Grace’s response. Though, she continued to face the pages. “A grand piano is among the largest despite its commonality. It owes its size to the fact that it’s technically somewhat of a string instrument. Each key moves a small hammer that strikes long, taught strings inside.”
“Fascinating. Could you show me what it sounds like before moving into a full piece?”
“Of course.”
Grace’s hands flew lightly across the keys, rolling up and down scales with ease. I couldn’t imagine Venlil paws being so dexterous. She made it look effortless.
She’s a professional alright.
Grace also tapped the keys with different amounts of force, putting the breadth of dynamics on display. Then, she played some chords. At first, they were small and simple but they quickly grew to massive complex variants.
Initially, the fact that they used only half the tones we placed between sets made me believe that their harmonic practice would be lacking. It seemed that was rather short-sighted.
Blyne appeared to be rather entranced by the sound.
“What immense range. You said this was called a grand piano?”
“Yes, sir. There are many variations on the piano but this is the most common for symphony orchestras and solo pieces.”
Blyne flicked his ears in acknowledgement.
“I must say I'm rather impressed thus far. It may come as a surprise but I used to play a couple instruments myself in my younger years. I can tell that you're very technically proficient even by that little demo alone.”
“I like to think that I am. After all, I do this for a living.”
“How fortunate that Human society accommodates for that,” I interjected. “I think most Venlil would expect there to be no room for such a thing in a predatory society.”
Grace squinted her eyes but they remained trained forward.
“It's not exactly an easy occupation, I’m afraid,” she responded. “It's a lot of hours and not always great pay. In the end, it usually gets sidelined for jobs that are considered more practical.”
“It's a similar story within the Federation too. After all, music doesn't grow crops or fight Arxur.”
Blyne seemed to look sympathetic to my plight. He no doubt felt guilty of such standards. Time and time again, the budget had found its way to other departments. Not that I blamed him. There was always pressure from donors and the government. I new technological advancement would always take priority over musical capabilities. That was the truth. And, in all honesty, I couldn't bring myself to disagree completely with the principle.
“Music has its applications,” Grace continued. “It can bridge cultural differences or improve morale in dark times. For Humans, it can also be used to bring awareness to social issues. I'm not sure if that's standard practice for you, though.”
Using music as a form of protest? I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of such a thing.
“I understand that Humans have a rich musical history,” Blyne spoke. “I'm intrigued to know what you've selected for us today, Miss Grace.”
“I'm very excited to play for the both of you. I don't believe Haeli has heard this first song yet, either.”
We’d already selected a few pieces some time before. I'd heard each and every one. Yet, she was going beyond our list? I hoped that she knew what she was doing.
“This piece,” she continued. “Was written by Claude Debussy a little over two hundred years ago during the standard Human year of 1905. It was made exclusively for piano. Today, it’s regarded as a classic.”
Grace sat up in her seat and hovered her hands over the keys.
"The title of this piece is Moonlight."
She scooted herself ever so slightly closer to the behemoth of an instrument and entered a state of visible focus.
Then, gently, she pressed down on the keys.
The sound was nearly inaudible. Grace’s dexterous hands tapped gently along the instrument, leaving ample space between the groupings of tones. It didn't seem like she was abiding by any particular rhythmic structure. It was loose but not in a chaotic sense. The tune drifted lazily from each point to the next like petals in a breeze. Harmonically, it felt melancholy; not bright and cheerful but not necessarily dark either.
This changed for a brief moment where the chords became somber. However, the higher tones returned with a kind of arcing motion to counterbalance it. Grace’s timing lent itself to a rising and falling motion to match the tonal development.
Soon, those arcs turned into cascades, starting slowly and gradually increasing in tempo. I almost didn't notice the volume increasing alongside it. The chords began to feel more foreboding. I could feel my heart rate rising as Grace vaulted into increasingly dark tonal motion.
Then, suddenly, she played a bright pattern in an upwards motion, much more lightly than the cascades before. The motion was repeated a few times, each one lower in volume.
After a moment of blissful serenity, Grace’s playing took on a quality that I could only describe as wonderment. Once again, the piece became dynamically louder. The rate of tones increased but didn't carry the darkness from before. Instead, the harmonies were bright and easy on the ears.
The speed at which she played was impressive, though unconventional. Nothing she'd played for me had reached that pace. I wondered if Blyne could handle the sudden jump in tempo. But, when I stole a glance at him, he seemed just as entranced as I was.
For a moment, the tiredness in his eyes seemed replaced with wonder.
The music seemed to falter, not in the executive sense but rather there was a feeling of specifically designed instability. It was as though the piece was portraying a loss of balance, just barely leaning over a sharp edge.
But, just as it seemed about to fall, the volume once more dropped to near silence as it returned to its melancholy origin. It seemed to be nearly identical to the opening. And, after drifting between patterns for a moment, each reminiscent of a broader section of the work, it ended as meekly as it began. I was briefly unsure that it was actually over. It was like it just slipped right out of the room. I only had my confirmation when Grace slid away from the piano.
Blyne and I sat in silence momentarily, soaking in the experience.
“It's been many years since I've heard something so immersive,” Blyne’s voice took on the sound of nostalgia. “Truly, that was encapsulating.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement.
“I'm not sure I fully understood the symbolism though. It's likely a planetary difference. How do Humans interpret the moon?”
Grace tilted her head to the side in a look I assumed was confusion until realization hit her.
“Ah, I almost forgot that's what it translates to. See, the title is in a different language than the one I speak. I speak primarily English but the title is French. Your translators seem not to discriminate. If you wouldn't mind, turn them off for just a moment and I'll say the title verbatim.”
Blyne and I both complied with the request, powering them off and flicking our ears in a ‘go ahead’ motion. After the motion was lost on her briefly, Grace realized we were ready and spoke the title once more.
“Claire de Lune.”
It sounded starkly different to the Venlil sound that it had been translated to. Though, it sounded almost melodious in nature.
After we turned the translators back on, Grace continued her thought.
“To answer your question, Haeli, the moon can mean a number of different things depending on culture. But, one thing that is constant is its association with the night. I'd say in this context, it served as the inspiration in a sort of atmospheric sense. You may equate it to a picturesque street illuminated only by a few lamps and the moonlight from above. It's serene in that regard.”
“It was a beautiful piece,” I assured her. “But, it wasn't one we selected beforehand. What made you want to perform it?”
“Honestly, I would have very well suggested it earlier had I remembered it. It just popped into my head after the fact and I thought it would be a perfect introductory piece.”
“To that, I can agree,” Blyne offered. “I can tell that immense thought was put into the composition of the piece. And, I can tell that you have spent much time honing your craft. As such, I have a request.”
A request?
“Please, miss Grace, turn to face the camera.”
I tensed up. Even after already exposing myself to her face, I felt reluctant to have her eyes burrow into me again.
“Are you sure about that, sir?” Grace asked tentatively.
“I understand that you haven't been able to see us so far. And that, for Humans, looking away is often considered rude. It's probably been difficult to remain facing away from us this whole time. The least I can do for such a stunning performance is to look you in the eyes.”
Grace looked unsure but slowly she turned to face us. I felt my muscles tense further and Blyne stiffened across from me as well.
“You really needn't subject yourself to this,” Grace spoke, clearly noting our collective discomfort.
“I f-feel inclined to disagree,” came Blyne’s response. “If we are to live and w-work with Humans, we will need to overcome our instincts. I'm willing to give that an honest try just as Professor Haeli here is too.”
“I appreciate the effort. Truly, I do. But, save your energy. That song is not all I intend to play for you. Haeli and I selected quite the program.”
I flicked my ears in acknowledgement and accompanied it with a head nod for Grace.
“Yes, indeed. I believe you'll very much enjoy the rest of these, headmaster.”
And so we continued, traipsing through various piano melodies. From the slow, methodical sounds of Gymnopédie No. 1 to the almost haunting motion of Arietta, we sat enamored by Grace’s playing until, finally, we ran the established catalog dry and she bid us farewell before signing off.
Now in the silent office, Blyne suddenly fell against the wall of papers.
“Stars,” he spoke through the now collapsed pages. “I'm too old for this, Haeli. Her playing was incredible. And, I think I did well as a professional but her eyes are still terrifying.”
“I know how you feel. My student says you get used to it pretty fast, though.”
“To be young and have that kind of flexibility. It's going to take me some time, I think.”
“You held together well all things considered. I cut into the fabric of my chair with my claws just from tensing up so much.”
“Don't go destroying university property, now. We just got those chairs two terms ago. Also, about that student of yours, he's made quite the amount of headway, yes?”
I thought back to Mezil’s progress. It had certainly been more than I’d expected from any of my students.
“Yes. Grace was encouraging me to get him more involved. I can only really think of one way to do it. Actually, after her performance, I have a pretty ambitious idea.”
Blyne lifted his head from the paperwork and eyed me warily.
“You need my help, I assume.”
“I'll definitely need the go-ahead from you for this one. That, and I'll probably need some help figuring out the logistics.”
He sighed and started straightening out the stack he'd toppled.
“Alright then, Professor Haeli. What is your plan?”
-
First / Prev / Next

What’s the result when a bunch of teenagers make shit up for their creative writing exercises all meditate and have dreams about spirit animal guides, and post on a talking cat roleplay forum about it?
An evil polar bear that tries to kill you.
This is the third write-up I’ve made about Virtual Warrior World, a Proboards roleplay forum based on the Warrior Cats book series by Erin Hunter, which I’ve already covered in these two previous posts. Some forum members I mentioned in the first post also show up here, as you’ll see later. (You don’t have to read any of the other posts to get what’s going on here, but the first gives more in-depth context.)
Spirit Animals
A spirit animal, also known as a totem, is a sacred guide that can take the form of an animal and is seen as a protector. Spirit animals are important in many cultures, including certain Native American ones (such as the Ojibwe). They also tend to be appropriated by neopagans, New Age hippies, and white American teenagers.
Obligatory disclaimer time: I don’t know anything about spirit animals other than what’s written about them on Wikipedia. This writeup is NOT intended to mock anyone’s spiritual or religious beliefs, nor make a claim that such cultural beliefs around spirit animals are inherently “fake” or “imaginary”. It’s important to note that nobody in this club (as far as I know) was Native American or indigenous, nobody performed religious rites or even acknowledged such aspects, and several members years after the fact admitted that they had been making the whole thing up and never saw any spirit guides, animal or otherwise. This writeup is all in the spirit (no pun intended) of fun, and is not in any way supposed to be commentary on real religions or cultures.
Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the club itself.
The Spirit Animal Club
On VWW, there was a section dedicated to clubs that members could make about their interests. The site admin, Jai, made a fair few clubs of her own and created sub-boards for them (one of them was a fan club for The Lonely Island, whom you might know as the masterminds behind such iconic hits as “Jizz in My Pants” and “I’m On a Boat”); if your club got popular enough, she would make a board for it too. So there were clubs dedicated to the usual subjects: debate, writing, gaming, anime, the LGBTQ+ community, etc.
One particularly notable club was the spirit animal club, which a (white) member named Abby (whose character was Skyflight) came up with and Jai made a board for. The club’s actual name was “Animal Spirit Guides Club”, but because that was too clunky, everybody just called it the spirit animal club.
The club was about who could write the most creative story about yourself and your favorite animal finding your spirit animal and connecting with other members who were communing with theirs. You didn’t have to have your own spirit guide to join; anybody could sign up, but the point of joining was that you would somehow find it eventually.
Abby’s spirit animal was a hawk named Farrow; Jai’s was an eagle named Baldwin. Most spirit animals were “cool” or “pretty” animals in that vein, such as tigers, cheetahs, foxes, bears, panthers, deer, horses, robins, swans, ravens, and wolves (that last one was particularly common, for some reason…). Rare were the outliers: one had a boa constrictor as their spirit guide. Another had a clownfish. And absolutely no one had, say, a slug or a mole rat as their spirit animal.
The club was divisive: it was pretty popular at its peak (around fifty-nine members!), but it had its naysayers who wanted to get rid of it. The most vocal of them was Mike (the resident gay admin who hated his job for a myriad of reasons), who knew thought the whole thing was a creative writing exercise and (by his own admission) also sort of, kind of wanted it gone out of spite. He might have succeeded if it had been smaller or less popular, but because Jai herself was a member, it stayed.
Other than that, everything was smooth sailing. Discussions centered on how to meditate to find your spirit animal, what your spirit animal was like, what your spirit animal told you today, what your spirit animal ate for breakfast…okay, not that last one, but you get the idea.
One memorable thread discussed past lives: Steph (the staffer who later helped with the hack of VWW) claimed she had been a Native American girl in a Seneca tribe who drowned in a river when she was around twelve to fourteen. Another member named Jenny said she had once lived in ancient Greece and died when she fell from a cliff. Abby had a whole saga about how in her past life, she had been an ancient Egyptian princess who was murdered by her stepmother for challenging her authority, and she had an evil older brother and an older sister (no word on whether or not the sister was evil too), and her father was the Pharaoh for a short time (which somehow explained Abby’s bad relationship with her own dad), and her mother had been one of the Pharaoh’s concubines, so her stepmother was hateful because she couldn’t have children of her own, and…
You get the idea. The thread capped off with one more member claiming her past life had been as a First Nations girl who loved salmon and ran away from home in winter when she was twelve, then froze to death, and concluding that was why she hated wearing scarves or hats in winter.
Notice that all these past lives ended in dramatic deaths at a young age, and nobody had died from old age or illness. That was the spirit animal club for you.
But alas, such peace could not last long. That leads us to:
One, Two, Jason's Coming for You
Remember the outlier with the clownfish for a spirit guide? Her name was Jessica (she was also a staff member; her character was Sparrowfeather), her clownfish was named Chloe, and one day in October 2010, she (not the clownfish) made a post that would change everything for the club.
In this post, she detailed how she had fallen asleep and dreamed that she was looking for Chloe. When she went to a pond, a polar bear showed up and she assumed he was a spirit guide too. She asked who he was, and he introduced himself as Jason before attacking her. Fortunately, a leopard named Amber showed up in the nick of time to protect her; unfortunately, she woke up with sore and red arms that left her scratching them. Totally befuddled by the whole thing that definitely happened, she asked what it meant.
The first reply was from a member named Jordan, who oh so helpfully told her that Jason was probably a “shadow guide” (without explaining what that meant) and that she probably deserved to nearly be killed because she must’ve done something bad to warrant it! Classy. The other replies were about the same level of usefulness, with nobody understanding where this Jason weirdo had come from.
Later, Jessica posted again in her thread that Amber told her Jason was not her spirit animal, and that her clownfish guide, Chloe, had once been contacted by the kid Jason was supposed to guide. The kid died, Jason blamed Chloe for it, and the fish went into hiding. How exactly a clownfish from the astral plane was able to cause the death of a child went unexplained.
Abby’s helpful advice was that Jessica should research leopards and polar bears, and eventually confront Jason to get rid of him. She cited the fact that she and Jai had both apparently had a problem with an “evil guide” in the past and dealt with it by confronting it, but unfortunately didn’t elaborate on how that happened.
There was some radio silence for a bit, then Jessica posted again. Her next thread was about how she had a dream of walking up a creek and encountering a panther that could shapeshift. Conveniently, she somehow realized that it was Jason, and then it turned into a polar bear and attacked her. When she called out to her spirit guide for help, Amber helpfully told her that she’d been told not to “interfere with destiny” and sent her good wishes, spouted off some poorly Google Translated random Italian, and disappeared, leaving Jessica on her own to wake up just as Jason tried to kill her again. Couldn’t ask for a better spirit guide.
Jessica naturally asked her friends what this meant; Abby posited that the Italian that Amber had spoken was her giving Jessica her magic energy (as it literally translates to “Security for the baby. Sure it will. Out of harm's way, oh, can win the battle. I am sending my will, my strength and power. Let child.”). When Jessica asked if Jason was an evil spirit (as anyone would do after nearly being murdered in their sleep by an evil polar bear), Abby said definitively that Jason was a lost spirit animal without a human.
All was quiet for about two months, but like any good slasher movie villain, Jason made his return (making his name even more appropriate—funny, that). His next victim was fittingly Jordan. Jordan had (allegedly) had a problem of his own with his spirit animals three months ago: he’d had two spirit guides, a wolf named Nightshade and a snake named Ankh, and they left him because they were “messengers” to herald his real spirit animal, a snowy owl named Aurora. That would’ve been well and good until, horror of horrors, he dreamed that Nightshade was attacked!
He found Nightshade bleeding violet blood, which we all know talking wolves have, because Jason mauled him. Aurora, ever the helpful type, told Jordan that they could protect him from Jason for a while, but like any good heroic anime protagonist, he’d have to face Jason eventually. Apparently, Jason was a demon who fed on fear and negativity, and the only way to ward him off was to show no emotion around him. The unmentioned alternative solution would probably have been to turn your back when he tries to attack you so that he’ll evaporate…wait, wrong slasher villain. Never mind.
Anyway, Jordan’s post did not get the attention he so desperately craved; he only got one response from another member named Zach, who told him to meditate and then wished he had his own spirit animal so he could ask them about Jason. Jordan’s reply was to give the sage advice to everyone in the club to get away from any sign of Jason in the “physical world”, which apparently includes movie posters and stuffed animals, because he’s totally an Empath™ and can tell that, shockingly, the polar bear that keeps trying to attack people feels “anger, bloodlust, and death-urges”! Who’d-a thunk it?
The next day, a girl named Carolyn posted about how her two spirit animals had disappeared. When she encountered a polar bear, she asked him if he’d seen one of them, he introduced himself as Jason, and attacked her until a hawk showed up and scared him off. The only advice she got was to meditate more, and Jordan helpfully told her that Jason was dangerous and had raging bloodlust (just in case she might have gotten confused and thought Jason was going around to give hugs).
The thread petered out after she claimed that the hawk told her that her previous spirit animals had left her forever, presumably to avoid dealing with any pesky bears. Ah, spirit animals. Gotta love ‘em.
Literally one day later, a club member named Emily piped up with a Jason story of her own. She claimed that not only did she believe her spirit animal, a white tiger named Leila, had been with her since she was a kid, she also believed Jason had been trying to target her back then. Apparently, she asked her mother about her childhood and whether or not polar bears had been involved, and her mother definitely told her that Emily had once woken up, screaming, “He’s gonna get me, the polar bear!”
So from this totally legit information, Emily drew the logical conclusion that Jason was going to try to kill her, and she could destroy him, and like any good chosen one protagonist, only she could do it. Somehow.
Her fellow club members—including Zach and Jordan—were not so accepting of her radical ideas, and told her she was being paranoid and to get some sleep (because, you know, that’s totally what you should do when you think an evil polar bear’s trying to kill you in your dreams).
Jordan added the crucial information that demons didn’t focus on solely one target and sought to create as much chaos as possible, because I guess he somehow became the expert on demons in addition to being an Empath™. He also claimed that Jason was actually rather cute if you got past him trying to murder everyone, because we all know attempting to murder children is a very minor character flaw that can be easily overlooked.
Emily’s response? She claimed she somehow fell asleep immediately after posting, was attacked by Jason in her dream, and screamed for Leila, who didn’t show up. How convenient! The only advice she got after that was to talk to Abby or Jai about it, since they were the club admins.
Three, Four, Better Lock Your Door
Not even a week passed before a fourth member, Jody, posted that she'd seen Jason too. She had been trying to contact her own spirit guide, a swan named Dooslan, when Jason showed up. She asked him what his name was, he told her his name like any true gentleman would, and then started attacking her until a deer and a cardinal showed up and told him "Swiper, no swiping" to stop. Then she woke up.
This sent the other members into a tizzy, and Zach suggested that Jason, like any classic anime villain, was planning something. Steph claimed that her spirit animal told her that saying Jason's name was what made him appear. Another member claimed that she got blurry visions of Jason even though she hadn’t even tried to contact her spirit animal.
Four days later, a member named Lilly posted about how she’d been talking to her spirit animal, a wolf named Lacriasca, until the wolf suddenly vanished (adding another example to the pattern of spirit animals being useless thus far) and she woke up back in the real world. Then, while still in said real world, she saw Jason in front of her! And what was her reaction to being faced with this notorious terrorizer of teens she knew on the internet?
Hug him, of course.
Naturally, this ended with her arm being broken—but not by Jason, actually! She told another member that she’d been meditating outside, then conveniently got hit by a basketball right before Jason showed up. And she had somehow been able to hug this angry astral plane polar bear with an arm that got broken moments earlier by a basketball. Or the basketball breaking her arm was caused by Jason’s arrival, I’m not sure. It’s not really clear. Maybe Jason was also a basketball player in addition to being a killer polar bear?
Jenny made a thread to document the pattern of everyone who got attacked by Jason. Jessica herself commented and was shocked, shocked, that Jason had obtained more victims! No one had any solutions to this problem, except for Abby and, surprisingly, resident spirit animal doubter Mike. Sort of.
Five, Six, Grab Your…Wait, That’s It?
Several days later, Mike posted a simple challenge on the board for a member to explain what exactly their “spirit animal” business was all about. Abby reacted to this very calmly and gracefully, as you can see here, and told everyone else in the club not to respond to him. After some back-and-forth between them, Abby linked to an expert on spirit animals to show where she’d gotten her interest in them. Personally, I have no idea who this guy is or how much of a verified expert he is on spirit guides, but the font he uses for everything on his site is Papyrus. Make of that what you will.
Although Abby wasn’t a fan of Mike’s little stunt, she did agree with one point he’d brought up—namely, that spirituality was largely based on your subconscious and what you manifested of it through dreams, meditation, or the like. She made a thread to lay down the law about Jason: it was best to no longer give him attention because it would make the issue worse, and the only person she believed about the Jason attacks was Jessica—everyone else was overreacting, because she (somehow) knew for a fact that the spirit world had guards to keep beings like him out. From now on, anyone who wanted to talk about Jason could only do it in a PM to her. No more posting about the evil polar bear.
Not a lot of people responded, but Jenny pointed out the oddity of the fact that Jason had first been classified as a spirit animal without a human and was now considered a demon. Abby’s response was that the whole Jason thing was just a product of an “overactive imagination” (insert obligatory snark about self-awareness here), because spirit animals couldn’t actually hurt people physically at all, let alone cause a broken arm. According to her, Jason couldn’t be a demon because demons work for the devil and no one on the site was a Satan worshiper (as far as we know), and somehow she knew all of this because she’d been attacked by spirit animals before and only got hurt mentally. Unfortunately, she didn’t elaborate on this claim (again).
The only member to respond to Abby after that was Jordan, who suggested that Jason was a figment of a collective imagination and that everyone should stop obsessing over Jason and move on. Sound advice, which Abby agreed with, and that was the end of the thread. All’s well that ends well, right? Well…
Seven, Eight, He’s a Poor Little Cinnamon Roll Now, Actually!
Jordan proceeded to take a massive dump on his own logic and made a thread later that same month, with the oh so civil title of “You People Are Idiots”. He posted about how he’d been meditating in his basement until Jason showed up, touched his nose to Jordan’s chest, somehow caused Jordan to hallucinate about his loved ones, and turned into a little cub.
Then Jordan was transported to his “spirit world”, where he met with Nightshade, Ankh, Aurora, and his fourth newly found spirit guide, a black panther named Masen, because he apparently was somehow soooo special that he got not one, not two, not three, but FOUR spirit animals. The whole gang was shocked that Jason was now a cute cub, and Jordan heard a voice telling him that this would all make sense later. (Spoiler alert: it did not.)
He concluded the post by saying Jason followed him around everywhere now, and threatened to rip anyone who called Jason evil to pieces because he was soooo totally "badass", being an alleged Empath™ with five spirit animals now and all.
The reception to his self-aggrandizing little display was lukewarm, to say the least. Jenny expressed skepticism that Jason was able to attach himself to Jordan, abiding by Jessica's story that Jason was another kid’s intended spirit guide who went rogue and Abby's claim that the “attacks” on the other members were just their imagination. Abby had no response other than to wish him luck with Jason, stating that demons could shapeshift and deceive.
Jordan’s reply was that it did happen, and that he’s totally an Empath™, and Jason’s totally a good guy now, girls, really, he’s a cute little de-aged cub now and everything! He went on to say that his wolf, Nightshade, was wary and always beside him whenever Jason was around (considering that Jason, you know, mauled him and all), and he was ignoring Nightshade now because the wolf (very logically) thought he was going to do something stupid. Truly a guy worthy of having five spirit animals.
Abby and Jenny didn’t take kindly to this and told him to listen to his spirit animal, Jordan conceded the point, and that was that.
Nine, Ten, We Can All Sleep Again
The next month, Jordan posted about how he thought he was being demonically possessed because he kept waking up to bleeding cuts on his arm. He claimed that this demon possessed him to go into the restroom during class and cut the name “Drew” into his arm with a paperclip, and he somehow knew that was the spirit’s name. Oh, and he was sure his friend was being possessed too because, uh…her pupils were big and “gear-shaped” (I assume this was a typo), and she was laughing a lot and being clingy. Because those count as signs of demonic possession now.
Zach advised him to meditate, but Jordan whined he couldn’t do that because all his spirit animals except for Jason were (understandably) ignoring him. The only one talking to him was Jason, who had no advice because he was currently infantilized. No one else had much valuable advice, and Emily (remember her?) told him on her other account to get holy water or an exorcism. Jordan rejected both options because of his hatred for priests and shared that the demon’s full name was Drusilla (because I guess she took the time to introduce herself in between the self-mutilations).
Conveniently, he refused to post any photos of his arm’s cut because it was too “gross” (sure, Jan). When advised to burn sage instead, he claimed he’d already tried that and helpfully filled in that his spirit animals had previously been shunning him because of Jason, so he cut ties with the cub, and now his guides were fighting the demons for him. So much for ripping anyone who insulted Jason to pieces.
Emily told him he had to say holy words while burning the sage to make it work, and that he shouldn’t get a “Lugi board” (I presume she meant “ouija board”) because that’d make it worse. Jordan responded that the demons were now conveniently gone and he’d put “protection charms” around his home and his friends (which I guess absolved his friend of her possession too), so it was all resolved now. Yay?
Jason basically faded into irrelevance after that, and only got a mention in two more threads. Carolyn posted again, this time about how she definitely saw a shadowy figure manifest in front of her, and when Zach suggested that it might be Jason in search of a new home, Jordan barged in to “correct” him that Jason wasn’t a demon (which had nothing to do with what Zach had said). Jenny chided Jordan in turn for talking about Jason and reiterated definitively that Jason had been another kid’s spirit animal who solely messed with Jessica, and all other sightings of him had been imaginative. After some spamming from another kid, Abby resolved the matter by stating the shadow figure was not a demon, but a shadow guide (and yet again failed to explain what that was).
The other thread was from a member named Morgan who talked about how, while daydreaming in math class, she had found her spirit animal sitting on the back of a polar bear. When Zach suggested that it was Jason, Abby cut in to reinforce the decree that Jason wasn’t real and had been a figment of everyone’s imagination. Zach reminded her of what Jordan and Jessica had said about him; Jordan screeched once again that his precious little baby Jason (whom he abandoned) wasn’t a demon and was somehow not a spirit, conceded grudgingly that some of Jason’s attacks had been imaginary (presumably not including his own experiences), and whined that people were stupid. Oh, and Morgan said her polar bear’s name was Cascade, but by that point nobody cared.
So, what can be learned from this episode? Not a lot, other than maybe the fact that an evil polar bear can do a lot to grip a bunch of teenagers’ imaginations. Sadly, that was the only exciting thing to ever happen in the spirit animal club, so there’s not much else to write about after that. There are some chat logs discussing the incident years later, though (“Roy” is another name Jordan went by and, to my knowledge, is not his real name).
And on a final note: from what I’ve heard, Abby still believes in spirit animals to this day. Do whatever you want with that information.

Hey Y’all,
Looking to move some stuff that I can’t fit into my regular rotation/can’t style without a lot of effort/ I’ve outgrown. Based in NYC and open to meeting up to save on shipping. Add $10 shipping to east coast and $15 to west coast. I’m 5’10” 180 and usually a size M is small for me but a size L is too big.
Paypal invoice only. Tagged photos and timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/jKSotxH
M batch panda dunks - size 11: SOLD Have some creases as shown but pretty well kept otherwise. Looking to branch out to some other styles so letting these go. TTS
LW batch Y33zy Slides - Size 12: $40 OBO. Just hit on some slides for retail so don’t need these anymore. Only wore within the house and broken in - these are comfy af. TTS
Gman: 3ss3ntials crewneck - size S: $35 OBO. Got this for my gf who’s usually an xs and she drowns in this lmao. Fits as a TTS medium.
Purp!e jeans (retail) - size 32: invoice sent to u/steve209610 NWT and bought from a sample sale recently. These fit just a bit tight and are a slimmer fit (not skinny jeans though). Sample sales don’t allow for returns so looking to get rid of these.
Husky [email protected] Puffer - Size L: invoice sent to u/steve209610 Shit is as 1:1 as you’re gonna get. recently bought another puffer so don’t need this anymore. TTS L
Scotch and soda tee (retail) - Size M: $35 OBO. Worn once but fits a bit tight unfortunately. TTS
Nike x Trav long sleeve (retail) - Size M: $35 OBO. Nice and thick tee - also fits a bit tight so willing to let go.
K!th Lax shirts (black and brown) - Size M: $20 each or take both for $35. Fabric quality is a bit worse than retail k!th but pretty decent shirts. TTS M
K!th coca cola shirt - size M: $30. Really nice embroidery on front and graphic on back. It’s just a bit small on me - fits big S or smaller M.
Eddie [email protected] lumberjack shirt (retail) - Size L: $15 bought once for halloween and never worn again. TTS
Feel free to throw any offers out!

Hey Y’all,
Looking to move some stuff that I can’t fit into my regular rotation/can’t style without a lot of effort/ I’ve outgrown. Based in NYC and open to meeting up to save on shipping. Add $10 shipping to east coast and $15 to west coast. I’m 5’10” 180 and usually a size M is small for me but a size L is too big.
Paypal invoice only. Tagged photos and timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/jKSotxH
M batch panda dunks - size 11: Sold to u/magnificentbottle778 Have some creases as shown but pretty well kept otherwise. Looking to branch out to some other styles so letting these go. TTS
LW batch Y33zy Slides - Size 12: $40 OBO. Just hit on some slides for retail so don’t need these anymore. Only wore within the house and broken in - these are comfy af. TTS
Gman: 3ss3ntials crewneck - size S: $35 OBO. Got this for my gf who’s usually an xs and she drowns in this lmao. Fits as a TTS medium.
Purp!e jeans (retail) - size 32: invoice sent to u/steve209610 NWT and bought from a sample sale recently. These fit just a bit tight and are a slimmer fit (not skinny jeans though). Sample sales don’t allow for returns so looking to get rid of these.
Husky [email protected] Puffer - Size L: invoice sent to u/steve209610 Shit is as 1:1 as you’re gonna get. recently bought another puffer so don’t need this anymore. TTS L
Scotch and soda tee (retail) - Size M: $35 OBO. Worn once but fits a bit tight unfortunately. TTS
Nike x Trav long sleeve (retail) - Size M: $35 OBO. Nice and thick tee - also fits a bit tight so willing to let go.
K!th Lax shirts (black and brown) - Size M: $20 each or take both for $35. Fabric quality is a bit worse than retail k!th but pretty decent shirts. TTS M
K!th coca cola shirt - size M: $30. Really nice embroidery on front and graphic on back. It’s just a bit small on me - fits big S or smaller M.
Eddie [email protected] lumberjack shirt (retail) - Size L: $15 bought once for halloween and never worn again. TTS
Feel free to throw any offers out!

Danielle West? Kate Snyder? Jess Grondin? all confused and suspicious as f. Jess has her fingers in everything, but the other two dont even seem to exist. I genuinely wonder if theyre alive.
Im just curious who's been pooling resources into bearcats theyll never use, for smiling black kid photo ops, and pavlovian conditioning with "candy in a cop vehicle" of sorts, and curious as to why one cannot identify any of the >120 officers by name or number when the info should be publically available.
Someone should keep an eye out on Jess honestly, and where she, or what her money does. She seems to always be the one talking when Portland sh*ts a brick, like the recent effort at discussing the food truck debacle in PPH paper, as if shes trying to justify it, like how somehow PPH did manage to last year even with wild % of people NOT in support of hamstringing local established businesses.
Thats kind of the goal though, in someones confusion: "get rich people here" = "more money for Portland". Its a classic attempt to believe in trickle-down economies, but its just a circle jerk of like 10 real-estate owning business majors who eat at each others high-end restaurants in buildings they own, while also being a major cause of Portlands bleeding of money, and hiding behind the liberal aesthetics of propping up a token foreign chef for the zeitgeists palate.
That or its one of those situations where we attract magazine-reading weirdos (rich bored people or dentists) with the "best place to live" bs year in and out that likely has a marketing cost associated with it at my tax expense.
So we get more and more insufferable flatlanders thinking they found their dream summer home/airbnb, or those same people, but who are also adult children, trying to understand a city, or society still, coming from God-knows-where Montana Bougie Ranch or some nonsense. Its so transparent that their privilege screeched away food trucks from the hill; theyre lost so far in their entitlement and detached living.
Im willing to bet one of them also writes that hideously out-of-touch new Munjoy magazine that is basically porn for them, or wine-mom types what with that "how to throw a dinner party" tome-deaf article (yeah- homeless crisis here- hello?). But sure, just keep being super coastal and un-melanated, like REALLY make it your identity eh?
NotHinG tO sEe HeRe Im jUsT kEePinG bEeS iN a CiTy WiThOuT tElLiNg My NeIGhBoRs! --Anyone in Portland now basically, just put a kombucha in their hands.
Anyway, I digress, and this city isnt liberal or democrat.
Im so sick of seeing forever-in-construction-condo rural workers and bougie elites and hill residents or construction CEOs taking all of portlands money, and moving it to the country, or a socially elite bubble that will invest it elsewhere (cops or landowners or construction oligopolies [cough cough Shaw Bros]) while SOMEONE is overspending on militarized police when you have homeless people dying on the streets in a wave that surpasses at least 40 years of relatively NOT HAVING THAT SH*T AND THE CULTURAL CONFUSION AND INFIGHTING IT CAUSES WHEN THE PROBPEM STARTS IN LOCAL POLITICIANS OR LACK THEREOF IN LIEU OF OLIGOPOLIES AND POLICE STATES.
Oh well, like in the colosseum of old, the landed gentry will watch and cheer as the riot geared up LARPers harass black people trying to protest, as opposed to say, escorting nazis around town to help them commit an assault and hate crime on city hall steps that they got away with because Maine is notoriously violent (being so rural at large, and never reporting anuthing, as police documentation is all but absent in this state historically and now, just ask Jess Grondin 😉) but youd never know since someone keeps paying for magazine awards.

Sometimes a band gets so big that they somehow outshine themselves. They reach a point in their career where it does not matter if they release a new album or not; fans just want to see them tour. No one gave a damn that Led Zeppelin had not released a new album since the 1970’s; everyone just wanted to see them play again at the O2 Arena in 2007. When The Who played the Super Bowl halftime show in 2010 they had only released one new album in 28 years, and no one cared. And no one cares that Guns & Roses aren’t making new music. They still packed arenas to see how much cake Axl had packed into himself.
We’re going to take a dive into a blues power trio from down south who have zero need to release any new music, since their recording career stretches back over five decades. They had amazing and groundbreaking success in the ‘70s, the ‘80s, and the ‘90s before hitting the max level. Instead of playing to win, they now play for fun. Their sexually charged lyrics and videos inspired generations of teens to both dress better and worry about their fly. And you can bet that their fuzzy, bluesy tight sound had a huge impact on our very own desert dwellers.
It’s time for us to take a walk with That Little Ol’ Band from Texas. This week’s featured artist is the legendary ZZ TOP
About Them
The Power Trio is a tested and true format for a rock band. Lots of examples come to mind: Cream. Rush. The Police. Biffy Clyro. King Buffalo. Them Crooked Vultures. (Wait a sec. Just three members? Clearly, not everything is bigger in Texas.)
There is a member joke there somewhere, but I just can’t get it to come. Hmm. Perhaps it will come if you play with it a bit.
Hey! Stop that. Get your mind out of the gutter.
ZZ Top’s original and founding member was William Frederick Gibbons. Born in Houston in 1949, the front man was originally a drummer but, after studying with Tito Puente in New York City, picked up the guitar at age 13. His dad was a musician in show business, which allowed Billy to get an insider’s view of the industry. By the late ‘60s, he had been in and founded a number of bands and had even befriended the late great James Marshall Hendrix. One of his first bands, a psychedelic/art house band called The Moving Sidewalks, toured with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. This meant that Gibbons was actually mentored by Snagglepuss himself. They also toured with The Doors, where Gibbons saw the legendary self-destructive band somehow manage to rise above conflict and make music every night. The Moving Sidewalks generated a following all of its own with a couple of hit songs, and things seemed to be headed in the right direction.
Things were going absolutely great until bassist Don Summers and keyboard player Tom Moore were drafted into the army to fight in Vietnam. Don't you just love the ‘60s?
Gibbons and drummer Dan Mitchell added a new keyboard player, Lanier Greg, and tried to make another run at it. But the chemistry was all wrong. Gibbons rechristened the band as ZZ Top (an homage to BB King), and declared that he wanted more of a straight up rock approach than the art-house kaleidoscopic sound.
Gibbons, Mitchell, and Greg (isn’t it weird when last names are also first names too?) recorded the single Salt Lick in 1969. This generated a bunch of interest and a recording contract. Decisions over the direction of the band ensued and it quickly became clear that Mitchell and Greg did not agree with Gibbons’ hard rock approach. That ended up being a poor life decision for them, but a great one for a couple of other guys.
Clearly, Gibbons needed a new rhythm section.
Fortunately, he found a package deal.
Dusty Hill and Frank Beard - also both born in 1949 - had been playing together on the Dallas-Houston-Fort Worth circuit in a number of bands, including The Warlocks, The Cellar Dwellers, and a fake cover band called The Zombies. Both the Duster and the (then ironically) beardless Beard also heard the siren call of rock and roll. Hill was classically trained and was an accomplished cello player before moving to his signature bass. Frank ‘Rube’ Beard appears to have been born with drumsticks in his hands (which I imagine might have been uncomfortable for his mom).
Beard joined the band first, along with bassist Billy Ethridge, who had played with Stevie Ray Vaughn. Ethridge balked at signing a contract and so joined Mitchell and Greg on the list of ZZ Top’s former members. Their lineup was set. Hill and Beard anchored the band in a rock-solid, tight, bluesy fashion. Gibbons meshed perfectly with this duo, and his Hendrix-inspired guitar work was on another level. Hill provided backing vocals, and Gibbons’ low throaty growl was an impressive counterpoint to his soaring fretwork. The talent was all there; now they just needed to record some music.
But success was not instantaneous, not by a long shot.
Their first album - appropriately called ZZ Top’s First Album - gives insight into who the band were to become. In this 1971 release, you can hear their raw sound. The record peaked at 201 on the charts, and had only one single - (Somebody Else Been) Shaking Your Tree. It did give them material to go out and tour. The boys gelled on that tour and went back into the studio with renewed energy, and emerged with 1972’s Rio Grande Mud. The disc was a step forward in refining their sound. The album almost cracked the top 100, and the only single - Francine - went all the way to number 69.
Nice.
But the band knew that their third album, Tres Hombres, was something special. It is the epitome of Southern Rock: bluesy, fast paced, sexy, and irreverent, it is just over half an hour of pure magic. And while the album went gold and peaked at number 8 on the charts and is worth your time, it was one particular single that rocketed them to stardom. You know it and you love it, and a-how-how-how-how: La Grange. It is still in heavy rotation on classic rock stations today. And why not? The song is an absolute banger of boogie woogie blues, written about a visit to a whorehouse. What’s not to love?
La Grange propelled them to popularity. Tours sold out. Venues got bigger and bigger. 1975’s follow up album, Fandango!, was half live album (with some covers) and half new material - like an EP with bonus tracks. They covered the Elvis Presley classic Jailhouse Rock, Willie Dixon’s Mellow Down Easy, and John Lee Hooker’s Long Distance Boogie. The boys had rock and blues chops, and had 5 years of touring experience. These were bold statements that cemented their musicality as well as honoring their roots. But side two of the disc had another track that you’ve come to love. You ain’t asking for much: You’re just lookin’ for some Tush. Tush was the perfect sexually charged follow up to ensure that they were not one-hit wonders. It was written in a ten-minute spasm of creativity at a sound check, and has gone on to be one of their most popular songs.
While Tush topped the charts, ZZ Top went back into the studio to record their full length follow up, 1976’s Tejas. The name of the album means ‘friends’ in the Indigenous Caddo language, and was the basis for the name of the state. You know what that means? It means that the name of the state is ‘Friends’. Just like the ‘90s sitcom. Don’t mess with Friends. Anyways, this was an album of experimentation for the band, and unlike its predecessor it came out half baked at best. Billy Gibbons has called it a transition album. What actually happened is the band transitioned into a hiatus from touring and recording, taking some significant time off. They had recorded five albums in six years and spent virtually all their time on the road. The latest effort was just not up to their standards and was a step back. It also completed their recording contract.
What was the solution to this burn out?
Facial hair of course.
The boys took a few years off before landing another recording contract, this time with Warner. Over those months, both Gibbons and Hill grew what would become their signature long ‘Texas Goatee’ beards. Frank Beard did not grow a beard (though he did finally succumb to peer pressure from his bandmates in 2013, and his is much more neatly trimmed). So while they were resting/relaxing/getting their groove back/aligning their chakras or whatever, they also started to reinvent their signature sound as the world moved towards a decade of legendary excess.
The first step on this reinvention journey was 1979’s Degüello. The title literally means ‘decapitation’ but idiomatically refers to a fight to the death. Clearly, the band decided to tackle their transition head on. The album was not as successful as Tres Hombres or Fandango!, but it was not the flop that Tejas was. It did spawn a couple of singles - I Thank You (which was a cover) and the signature hit Cheap Sunglasses. Both are staples at ZZ Top concerts to this day. Degüello was quickly followed up in 1981 by the album El Loco. This was really the first time ZZ Top incorporated a synthesizer into their sound. As you know, the synth was THE new wave sound of the 1980s. Gods help us, keytars were once popular. But Gibbons, Hill, and Beard did not abandon their edge. The single Pearl Necklace was an immensely popular innuendo laced tune from this album. And no, I will not explain what a pearl necklace is to you.
Ask your mom.
Over the course of their first seven albums, ZZ Top had steadily grown in popularity and become a truly extraordinary live band. More than a decade of touring together meant that they had not just cut their teeth. They had found the Tooth Fairy, beaten her senseless, and added fangs to their jaws. They were ready to tackle whatever came their way.
Their huge breakthrough coincided with the birth of music videos and MTV. 1983’s Eliminator was an absolute monster of an album. ZZ Top were everywhere. They completely embraced the Music Video as a medium and became pioneers in this new genre. They branded their band with a 1933 fire-engine red Ford Coupe, which was on the cover of the album. They even had a signature hand gesture that they used as the car went by. The car belonged to Billy Gibbons and embodied his hot rod obsessions. It was featured in the videos for Gimme All Your Lovin’, Sharp Dressed Man, and Legs. Other singles from the album included Got me Under Pressure and TV Dinners. Eliminator is still the band’s most successful album. They were at the absolute height of their popularity with a massive audience. No doubt the 10-year-old Joshua Michael Homme watched those videos on a small screen in the California desert, little knowing that he would one day collaborate with Gibbons.
Seeking to capitalize on the popularity, the band went back into the studio and released Afterburner in 1985. It featured the signature hot rod on the cover and spawned two more singles - Sleeping Bag and Velcro Fly. Afterburner was not an innovative album by any stretch of the imagination. It simply built on the success of Eliminator and replicated the sound. If you blended the two albums together it would be very difficult for a novice fan to guess which song came from which disc. But hell, when you release the most popular album of your career and are earning millions of dollars for that sound, it is not time to mess with success. Or with Texas. Or with Friends (though Ross was a pain in the ass, IMHO).
That desire to not screw up a good thing was also evident in their next release, the retrospective re-release Six Pack. This was a great way to earn some bucks with a simple repackaging of existing tracks - I’m looking at you, K-Tel… - and introducing them to another generation of fans. This was not a bad thing at all - you gotta get that green whenever you can, because fame can be fleeting.
ZZ Top closed out the decade by going Back to the Future. Literally. They appeared in the third installment of the Michael J. Fox trilogy as the olde-timey house band (complete with rotating guitars) in the saloon scene. The single and signature song from the movie, Doubleback, appeared on their 1990 release Recycler. The album spawned two more singles: My Head’s in Mississippi and Concrete and Steel. Recycler was not as successful as its predecessors, but it did effectively max level the band. In the 1970’s they were a scuffling bar band that hit it big. In the 1980’s they were one of the most popular bands of the MTV generation. And in the 1990’s they achieved superstardom. They had hit the level where it truly no longer mattered if they ever released new material again. They could simply tour on their back catalogue alone and sell out stadiums.
It is clear that the band realized this as well. In the thirty years since Recycler came out, they have released five albums of new material: Antenna in 1994, Rhythmeen in 1996, XXX in 1999, Mescalero in 2003 and the critically acclaimed and Rick Rubin produced La Futura in 2012. This was equivalent to their output in their first six years.
In contrast, they have released no less than eight greatest hits albums, cover albums and live albums in the same time span. Greatest Hits came out in 1992. One Foot in the Blues was released in 1994. The massive compilation Chrome, Smoke & BBQ came out in 2003, and is a fantastic place to start if you are a new fan. Rancho Texicano was released in 2004, Live from Texas came out in 2008, and Double Down Live hit shelves in 2009. Live at Montreaux came out in 2013 and Tonite at Midnight: Live Greatest Hits from Around the World was released in 2016.
As recently as 2019, there were rumors that a new album was in the works for our Septuagenarian heroes. Lord knows the boys from Texas have nothing left to prove to anyone.
It was then that tragedy struck. Dusty Hill had to leave the band during a tour in 2021. The reason given was a hip injury. His guitar tech, Elwood Francis, filled in. Shockingly, Hill died at home at the age of 72 just five days after leaving the tour.
Fans were shocked and mourned the stalwart bassist. Per his wishes - and it seems he knew something wasn’t quite right - ZZ Top did not break up. Francis replaced Hill on bass, and the band soldiered on. In 2022, they released Raw, a soundtrack for a 2019 documentary about them. This was Hill’s final release.
You can still catch them on tour. They are going to be out there this summer, touring with Lynyrd Skynyrd, for something they are calling ‘The Sharp Dressed Simple Man’ Tour.
Go buy some tickets. Don’t miss your chance to see a truly iconic band before they are gone.
Links to QOTSA
The Reverend Billy F. Gibbons was a big part of the Lullabies to Paralyze album by our Desert Dwellers. He played guitar and provided backing vocals on Burn the Witch. He was co-lead vocalist and lead guitar on the QotSA cover of Precious and Grace, which he originally released as a ZZ Top tune on the Tres Hombres album. He also provided the guitar stylings for Like a Drug.
But the connections don't stop there. Billy sang the lead vocal track on the recent Desert Sessions tune Move Together, and he played guitar on Noses in Roses, Forever.
What may be most important to QotSA fans is that Gibbons was the first person, almost two years ago, who hinted that Queens were working on a new album.
And now we know he was right. Never doubt a Reverend.
Their Music
Salt Lick
(Somebody Else Been) Shaking your Tree
Francine
La Grange -- Live on Howard Stern
Jailhouse Rock
Tush -- a fan made video. It is not subtle.
Cheap Sunglasses
Pearl Necklace -- Live
Gimme All Your Lovin’
Sharp Dressed Man
Legs -- the ultimate makeover video
Got Me Under Pressure -- Live at Montreaux
Sleeping Bag -- Let’s go out to Egypt and check out some heads...
Velcro Fly -- also somehow in Egypt
My Head’s In Mississippi
Concrete and Steel -- vintage video
Doubleback
I Gotsta Get Paid -- from La Futura
Show Them Some Love
/zztop
Previous Posts
Tool
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against The Machine
Soundgarden
Run the Jewels
Royal Blood
Arctic Monkeys
Ty Segall
Eagles of Death Metal
Them Crooked Vultures
Led Zeppelin
Greta Van Fleet
Ten Commandos
Screaming Trees
Sound City Players
Iggy Pop
Mastodon
The Strokes
Radiohead
All Them Witches

1. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I’ve met Harry Styles several times, and he is so nice and considerate. He actually put off going out with his team just to sit and talk to my 15-year-old daughter and me. I’m sure he was exhausted, but he seemed to enjoy relaxing and chatting with us. My daughter will most likely live on that memory for years to come!"
2. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Jennifer Aniston is a sweetheart. She seemed very genuine and kind. I met her in a restaurant bathroom of all places. We talked for so long, her friend had to come and find her."
3. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Lorne Michaels when I worked at a 5-star restaurant. Everyone who worked with me knew I’d been a fan of SNL since I came out of the womb, so when I picked up the phone to make the reservation and spoke with his assistant, I told them I was Lorne's biggest fan. When he arrived with his wife and son (who went to a local boarding school), they were so kind, and he said, 'Oh, I heard you’re my biggest fan, and that’s amazing because I don’t have fans — the cast always has fans!' I almost died. I gave them my favorite table, which they were thrilled with, and when he got up to leave, he left me an envelope with a pretty sweet bonus tip inside. I wasn’t usually tipped doing my work, so it wasn’t necessary, but it was so thoughtful and appreciated. All three were true gems. You’d never know he was famous or rich at all."
4. TOTAL NIGHTMARE: "I met Roseanne Barr for work once. I went to shake her hand, and she looked me up and down and said, 'I don't shake hands,' then walked away."
5. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Matthew Gray Gubler after he did a talk years ago at my college! Only the first 100 people who got tickets were supposed to be able to do a meet and greet. He said 'rules were made to be broken' and that he would stay and meet with everyone until they kicked him out. Not only was he incredibly sweet to me (literally introduced himself...so humble and posed for a goofy pic), but he seemed so genuinely kind to everyone there. Just amazing energy all around."
6. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "A friend and I visited my boyfriend while he was doing security at a jazz festival in Malibu. He told us Adam Sandler and his family had been there all day and tons of people took pictures with him. We ran back to the car to grab the digital camera, looked up, and saw Adam, his pregnant wife Jackie, and their toddler leaving. We went up to them. Adam was clearly done for the day, but his wife said, 'Honey, let me hold [toddler's name] and you can take a picture.' We handed him the camera and he took a selfie with us. Still have that picture on my fridge. Love the Sandman!"
7. TOTAL NIGHTMARE: "My little cousin played one of Rob Schneider's kids in 50 First Dates. Rob was stuck-up, never got to know the children or their parents, and always went straight to his dressing room. I'm an introvert, so I like my alone time to recharge, but apparently the vibes he was giving off were that he couldn't be bothered to care about anyone else there. Also, the little girl in the movie was apparently a spoiled brat who threw tantrums and made them have to redo so many takes. I can see why Rob maybe didn't want to play with her, but the other kids were great!"
8. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "My husband met Rihanna years ago and said she was super nice. He was working as a ground handler at an airport and was setting up something on the ramp for her private plane. She came out, approached him, asked him about his job, and they chatted for a few minutes. Not sure if she was killing time until the gate opened, or if she went out of her way to talk to him for the heck of it, but he had nothing but nice things to say about her."
9. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Jerry Springer while bartending almost 20 years ago. He was thinking of getting back into politics and had a meeting in our private dining room on the second floor. It was happy hour and the bar was packed. Someone spotted him and started chanting, 'JERRY, JERRY,' while he was about to walk up the stairs. He then came to the bar, ordered a $2 beer, walked through the entire bar, shook hands, and took pictures. When he finished the loop, he set the full beer on the bar and handed me $40. Regardless of his show, I will always think of him as a class act."
10. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "My story is that I was actually horrible to a celebrity. In the '70s, I was obsessed with Donny and Marie. They were playing at our state fair that year. My dad tried to get tickets, but it was sold out. He took us to the fair anyway. A few times we could hear the music, which infuriated me at 7 years old. When we were leaving, my dad had to stop the car because there was a big crowd of people. As they cleared to let us through, two people popped their heads in the car window to apologize. It was Donny and Marie. I refused to believe it was really them, and I told Marie, 'You're not Marie. She's a lot prettier than you.' My family was horrified."
11. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Hands down nicest celebrity I've ever met was Taylor Swift. I met her at a concert as part of her security at the Houston shows. She was polite and introduced herself to everyone. She was obviously very busy, but she seemed interested in what I had to say and signed an album cover for my son."
12. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I have been lucky enough to meet Sir Ian McKellen twice: once after a performance where I also met Simon Callow and Patrick Stewart, and once during his tour of 80 shows for turning 80. Absolutely lovely man. He is my #1 dream dinner guest. I wish I was his friend."
13. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I did a photo-op last year at my local con with Ewan McGregor and, even though it was so quick, he was super sweet. We shook hands, and he asked how my day was. He’s gorgeous in person!"
14. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Matthew Lewis at a local con at his booth and he was lovely (and gorgeous in person). I told him how jealous my Harry Potter-obsessed sister (who was working that day) was going to be, and he told me to tell her he sent his regards! It totally made her day at work when I texted her about it after!"
15. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Pink around 2000. She performed at a teen club I was at, and she was a sweetheart. After her performance, she even danced with us for a little bit."
16. TOTAL NIGHTMARE: "I’ve heard nothing but bad things from people who've met Bill Nye. One friend said he was at some children’s art show and made fun of the artwork in front of the youngsters. What a jerk."
17. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "When I was in college in Boston, I was making a late-night Taco Bell run. As I was walking in, this white limo pulled up in front. I went inside and placed my order, and a guy in a white jumpsuit with a white bandana tied around his head came in. There weren't that many people in the restaurant, but he stopped and signed autographs and was chatting everyone up when I left. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that person was Steven Tyler. This was in the late '80s before Aerosmith had that string of hits."
18. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "The most genuine interaction I've ever had with a celeb was with Bert Kreischer. I saw a show (during which he mentioned his grandma was in the hospital). Then, he told the audience he would be going to the bar next door after the show if anyone wanted a picture. When he arrived at the bar, he waded through CROWDS of people and made sure everyone who wanted to was able to get a pic or a moment with him. I stayed at the bar for a drink until he was on his way out (by this time the crowd had dispersed). I called out as he passed, 'Hey, I didn't get a chance to say it before, but I hope your grandma does well.' He stopped, turned around, and had a very genuine conversation with me."
19. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Jason Momoa was really fun to meet in person when I saw him at a Nine Inch Nails show. Really fun guy!"
20. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Jennifer Lopez. I went to where they were filming Air last year (I live in LA) because I wanted to meet Ben Affleck. I met Matt Damon as he wrapped before he left. He was a SUPER nice guy. I waited for Ben as his Escalade pulled up, but I DID NOT expect JLO to get out. She got out right next to me. She was only with her driver and he didn’t tell me to move or anything, so when she got out, I was like ‘Jen! Can I get a picture?' and she said sure. We talked about Selena because I’m Latina and she’s super important to me, and the movie means so much to me. She was SOO nice and sweet. She didn’t give any vibes that I was annoying her or that she had to Go. We also spoke in Spanish. We took our picture and then she went inside to get Ben. When they got out, Ben was NOT HAPPY (I don’t blame him. He was acting and directing), so I just stepped aside."
21. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "In 2004, I met Tony Curtis. He exuded 'old Hollywood.' He made his way around the room, speaking to each person, and when he approached me, he extended his hand and held my hand through the entire conversation. He focused on our conversation as if there was no one else in the room. As we said goodbye (he was still holding my hand), he raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. He was dressed impeccably and was in fine form. I have had many celebrity encounters, but nothing rises to the level of Tony Curtis. Absolutely the best celebrity encounter I've ever had."
22. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Sir Patrick Stewart at the Peabody Hotel in Orlando. We were both hanging out with friends in the lobby. He told stories, made lots of jokes with his friends, and included us in the conversation."
23. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I went to college with Muhammad Ali's twin daughters. He came with them for move-in day, and they arrived in a chauffeured Rolls Royce. He was gracious and took as many pictures and signed as many autographs as people wanted. I even have a picture where he is pretending to punch me. I told him that I grew up down the street from the house he had in Chicago before he donated it to the Nation of Islam. He asked me if they were good neighbors and laughed when I told him not really."
24. TOTAL NIGHTMARE: "My sister met Katy Perry at a restaurant, but she was being rude to the bartender and all the employees who came over to help, so now my niece and nephew aren't allowed to listen to her music."
25. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Tori Amos, and she was an absolute sweetie pie. She hugged me and told me she liked my shirt. We spoke briefly. I was starstruck, but it made a lasting impression on me."
26. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I grew up in a tiny town (pop. 3,000), and every year for his twins' birthday dinner, Michael J. Fox would bring his whole family to the restaurant my mom worked at. She almost always ended up being their server and she said he (and his family) were the nicest people. They were unobtrusive, friendly, and excellent tippers."
27. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "James Earl Jones was super sweet. My father and I met him when I was young. His voice is deep, but sweet!"
28. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I met Dennis Quaid, and he was the nicest guy ever. We chatted about dogs for a while, and he was more than happy to take a few pictures!"
29. TOTAL NIGHTMARE: "I helped host a book signing for Bobby Flay, and he's a jerk."
30. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Every time Dave Matthews plays at the venue across the street from our bookstore, people want to be working in the cafe because he randomly shows up for coffee the morning of his concert and gives the people waiting on him free tickets."
31. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Nicest celebrity I've ever met was Cole Sprouse. This was way before when he probably got sick of being on Riverdale and decided to just show his true colors. He took the photo of us together because I was shaking from nerves and excitement."
32. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "I was a bartender at the Troubadour for five years and have so many stories! Jeff Bridges was the first celeb I met. His band was playing. Before we opened, after his sound check, he made a point of coming down to us bartenders to introduce himself and thank us for helping out that night. SUCH A GEM!"
33. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "Jason Schwartzman came into the bar I worked in on a night that had a bunch of teenage bands playing and was super sweet to any of the kids who came up to him."
34. ABSOLUTE DREAM: "When I was young, I went to an Olivia Newton-John concert. I grew up watching Grease on repeat and had always loved her. At the concert, me and another young girl were invited on stage to give her flowers and introduce ourselves. On stage, l asked to get her autograph and she told me she would after the show. Post-concert, I waited with my family to get an autograph and she invited me and my dad into her fitting room and no one else. Once back there, I was so starstruck and amazed that she remembered my name! She was so kind and took pictures with me and my dad, signed a photo, gave me the set list, and wrapped it up by giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. She spent probably an hour with us just hanging out in her room and chatting. To this day, it's one of my most cherished memories."

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I've been not apart of my kids lives for years because of their mom. I found out my daughter was in a car accident sat 05-27-23 but not until the fallowing Monday from a friend not my ex wife. Once I found out I contacted my ex and she's been keeping me updated. I am going up tomorrow 06-02-23 that's the earliest I can. My ex knew this. My ex's first child (my daughter's half sister) msg'd me when she found out I was going to visit the fallowing is our msg's via fb . My daughters half sister - Here’s the thing Bruce. You have not been a part of Brooke’s life. So what gives you the right to come see her? Damon and I know for a good fact that if she was in a healthy condition she wouldn’t see her for any reason at all. You never once gave them anything but broken and empty promises and not even to mention the trust issues. You’re going to my mothers page and taking her photos and taking screenshots of her post going on about “your baby” get out of here. Do you seriously think in your the best for her right now? i’ll save you the time, no you’re not. YOU broke her heart so long ago that she will never give you a second thought. Where were you when she graduated? You didn’t post pictures of her then saying how proud you were of her. She’s not some fucking headline in the news for you to broadcast for sympathy. My reply -You do know the only reason I wasn't in their lives was because your mom blocked me from being there. Now your mom says she kept me from them because of how I was. I drank a lot back then and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals because I was depressed and self harm issues. But the reason I drank and was in those places was because I couldn't be with my kids. And just when I got my shit together damon said he didn't want me to be apart of his life because I wasn't there. I wasn't there because Molly wouldn't let me. I have so many msg's I can show you of me and molly talking on how I could possibly get back in their lives. I asked molly what would or how she thought I should do it. She would say I don't know. Well I mean in the past couple years. J don't know what was said to you guys to believe I didn't want to be apart of their lives. I had to take care of my mom until she passed then my nephews because my sister is a piece of shit. I tried to explain to Damon that they have a good mom so they were taken care of. My nephews had literally no one but me none of their dads are in their lives. I didn't pick them over my kids. I thought we'd be able to be closer once all the legal shit was taken care of with it sister (my nephews taken from their mom and put in my custody, then my sister went to prison). I finally got my own place then I get cut off from the kids again. If you need the screenshots from all the msg's where I talked to molly about trying to be in the kids lives I'll show you. I never once in my life didn't want the kids in my life. My psychologist, psychiatrist and therapists all tried reaching out to your mom to try and get me back in their lives for years. If you need the medical records I'll get them. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING MY KIDS! Ask Molly if I lie anymore. She knows I don't. Even if it makes me look bad I always only tell the truth since 2017. Her reply -Mom did not block you from their lives Bruce. She took care of my siblings by herself for the longest time. She took care of all of us to the best of her ability. You can sit here and try to tell me how she was the one who stopped you from seeing Damon and Brooke but everyone knows it’s not true. For the love of god, your head is so far up your ass right now. Damon and Brooke turned out the way they are because of you. You were the one who screwed them up and over with all the promises of seeing them and promising you would take them on a vacation. Also, did you forget that Damon stayed with you for a week and you couldn’t feed him because you were to doped up to even care. No child should ever seen their parent shoot up. In case you forgot, I was there Bruce. I witnessed all of the shitty things you did to them and my mom I may have been young but I have a stellar memory. Let your ego go and realize that you visiting is NOT what Brooke would have wanted. If she wanted to be a part of your life she would have made that clear to you, she is an adult. Do you know how many conversation we have had about the trauma you made her and Damon go through. You were never there but she has 3 father figures now and no thanks to you. She will learn right vs wrong from My husband, his father and Brent. My reply -I ain't trying to argue. I'm only worried about Brooke. I literally told you how I could prove I tried. Of course I fucked up I don't deny that. But every letter in my previous msg was true. All I care about now is Brooke. You'll never believe or listen to anything I say obviously but that's on you. Her reply -If you care about her you will stay away, you are only going to make things worse. My reply -How Her reply -brooke hasn’t heard from you in the last 10 plus years regardless if it’s your fault or moms. she has verbally expressed to everyone that she want nothing to do with you. she views you as a donor and nothing more. with that being said if you say you love her then you need to respect her decision. she does not want you there. take this from someone who has been there for her day in and out the last 18 years of her life. My reply -One last thing. Why can this not be a turning point. If they're upset I wasn't there I could be now ppl change. My reply reply -If its not my fault why are you trying to punish me? Her reply -So her being in this situation makes you want to change and try to show up. Brooke and Damon are both very strong in their beliefs and decisions and they have made it very clear no matter the circumstances they do not want you around. if you are wanting to mend your relationship you need to wait until Brooke can speak to you herself. and if she does not want to speak to you and you have questions you will speak to either myself or Damon and we will decide what you get to know. My reply -Like I said I ain't arguing. Have a good day bye Her reply -AITAH I've been not apart of my kids lives for years because of their mom. I found out my daughter was in a car accident sat 05-27-23 but not until the fallowing Monday from a friend not my ex wife. Once I found out I contacted my ex and she's been keeping me updated. I am going up tomorrow 06-02-23 that's the earliest I can. My ex knew this. My ex's first child (my daughter's half sister) msg'd me when she found out I was going to visit the fallowing is our msg's via fb . My daughters half sister - Here’s the thing Bruce. You have not been a part of Brooke’s life. So what gives you the right to come see her? Damon and I know for a good fact that if she was in a healthy condition she wouldn’t see her for any reason at all. You never once gave them anything but broken and empty promises and not even to mention the trust issues. You’re going to my mothers page and taking her photos and taking screenshots of her post going on about “your baby” get out of here. Do you seriously think in your the best for her right now? i’ll save you the time, no you’re not. YOU broke her heart so long ago that she will never give you a second thought. Where were you when she graduated? You didn’t post pictures of her then saying how proud you were of her. She’s not some fucking headline in the news for you to broadcast for sympathy. My reply -You do know the only reason I wasn't in their lives was because your mom blocked me from being there. Now your mom says she kept me from them because of how I was. I drank a lot back then and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals because I was depressed and self harm issues. But the reason I drank and was in those places was because I couldn't be with my kids. And just when I got my shit together damon said he didn't want me to be apart of his life because I wasn't there. I wasn't there because Molly wouldn't let me. I have so many msg's I can show you of me and molly talking on how I could possibly get back in their lives. I asked molly what would or how she thought I should do it. She would say I don't know. Well I mean in the past couple years. J don't know what was said to you guys to believe I didn't want to be apart of their lives. I had to take care of my mom until she passed then my nephews because my sister is a piece of shit. I tried to explain to Damon that they have a good mom so they were taken care of. My nephews had literally no one but me none of their dads are in their lives. I didn't pick them over my kids. I thought we'd be able to be closer once all the legal shit was taken care of with it sister (my nephews taken from their mom and put in my custody, then my sister went to prison). I finally got my own place then I get cut off from the kids again. If you need the screenshots from all the msg's where I talked to molly about trying to be in the kids lives I'll show you. I never once in my life didn't want the kids in my life. My psychologist, psychiatrist and therapists all tried reaching out to your mom to try and get me back in their lives for years. If you need the medical records I'll get them. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING MY KIDS! Ask Molly if I lie anymore. She knows I don't. Even if it makes me look bad I always only tell the truth since 2017. Her reply -Mom did not block you from their lives Bruce. She took care of my siblings by herself for the longest time. She took care of all of us to the best of her ability. You can sit here and try to tell me how she was the one who stopped you from seeing Damon and Brooke but everyone knows it’s not true. For the love of god, your head is so far up your ass right now. Damon and Brooke turned out the way they are because of you. You were the one who screwed them up and over with all the promises of seeing them and promising you would take them on a vacation. Also, did you forget that Damon stayed with you for a week and you couldn’t feed him because you were to doped up to even care. No child should ever seen their parent shoot up. In case you forgot, I was there Bruce. I witnessed all of the shitty things you did to them and my mom I may have been young but I have a stellar memory. Let your ego go and realize that you visiting is NOT what Brooke would have wanted. If she wanted to be a part of your life she would have made that clear to you, she is an adult. Do you know how many conversation we have had about the trauma you made her and Damon go through. You were never there but she has 3 father figures now and no thanks to you. She will learn right vs wrong from My husband, his father and Brent. My reply -I ain't trying to argue. I'm only worried about Brooke. I literally told you how I could prove I tried. Of course I fucked up I don't deny that. But every letter in my previous msg was true. All I care about now is Brooke. You'll never believe or listen to anything I say obviously but that's on you. Her reply -If you care about her you will stay away, you are only going to make things worse. My reply -How Her reply -brooke hasn’t heard from you in the last 10 plus years regardless if it’s your fault or moms. she has verbally expressed to everyone that she want nothing to do with you. she views you as a donor and nothing more. with that being said if you say you love her then you need to respect her decision. she does not want you there. take this from someone who has been there for her day in and out the last 18 years of her life. My reply -One last thing. Why can this not be a turning point. If they're upset I wasn't there I could be now ppl change. My reply reply -If its not my fault why are you trying to punish me? Her reply -So her being in this situation makes you want to change and try to show up. Brooke and Damon are both very strong in their beliefs and decisions and they have made it very clear no matter the circumstances they do not want you around. if you are wanting to mend your relationship you need to wait until Brooke can speak to you herself. and if she does not want to speak to you and you have questions you will speak to either myself or Damon and we will decide what you get to know. My reply -Like I said I ain't arguing. Have a good day bye Her reply -I’m not trying to punish you i’m trying to respect what Brooke would want. And i’m trying to go about this the most pleasant way i can. if you are to show up tomorrow you are going to get laid into by Damon (my son) and he wont be as Pleasant.