29yo female, got into a car accident 3/8. Went to the emergency room that day and received x-rays, nothing abnormal on them. Diagnosed with whiplash and mild concussion. I did not lose consciousness during the crash and had chest/back pain from airbags and whiplash, but no abdominal pain.
Fast forward to 2 days ago. My back is still in pain, and I still have brain fog but new symptoms appeared. I have swollen abdomen, diarrhea and feel bloated. I also had pain left of my belly button and in the same position but on my back (left, lower aligning with hip bone). The weird thing is that the pain kind of moves and my stomach is making sounds. I went to urgent care and they did a urine sample, which was fine. Said it could be kidney stones or diverticulitis. I have an appointment with PCP in one week.
I’m at a loss as to whether I should go to ER. I don’t know if this abdominal pain is related to the accident or just bad gas or even from stress. The pain isn’t horrible, I can walk and press it without it feeling horrible. It’s more of a full and uncomfortable feeling with some sharp pain occasionally like gas. I’m just afraid it could be internal bleeding, or even cancer.
Not asking for diagnosis, just insight on whether I should wait until doctors appointment in a week or to go now.
No medications taken besides ibuprofen 600mg 48 hours ago, charcoal capsules and cyclobenzaprine 5mg over 48 hours ago. For what it’s worth doctor at the urgent care felt abdomen and didn’t seem concerned.
Sorry for long post, thanks!

I recently moved to a new apartment on October and today I got a letter of request to sign a termination contract because as per my landlord, I do not have a strong reason that I NEED the apartment. They also gave me an ootion to write an appeal. Has anyone experience this? what do I write in my appeal to prove that I need this apartment.
I am still registered to my sambos apartment as I still stay there most of the time, I rented a 2nd apartment because I work in a different city and it is easier for me to travel to work when I have awkward schedules.

Advanced skieracer here who likes to make aggressive carves down the hill when snow conditions are good for that. Just wondering how tight should my power strap be? I feel like after I've warmed up and gradually tightened up my boots after a few runs to a nice snug fit, I get better direct control of my skis when the boots are tightened pretty snug, but not so tight it's cutting off circulation. Tightening my strap tighter (once again not overly tight where it hurts) seems to give me better control of the ski with leg movement, but also seems to force me more upright making it hard to get enough forward lean to get those really aggressive edge angles. I feel like I can get the flex I need if the power straps are not quite as tight, but then the ski is also slightly less responsive since that gives my foot more room to move in the boot. Should I be buckling them snugger like that and then just adjust either the flex or forward lean on the boot or should my forward lean be coming form having that strap a little bit looser? Or would I be better off replacing the default straps with power straps?
For context, I have the women's Head Raptor RS 110 boots in a 96 mm last and 22.5 length. They can adjust up or down a flex I believe. They are a little less forward tilting than my previous boots that were full race boots, but I was also overflexing my previous pair at times (they put me in a jr boot that was a bit too loose and a bit too soft, so didn't work out well hence new boots this year), so I'm not sure if I'm just used to skiing too far forward because of overflexing that old pair so this just feels weird by comparison or if the more forward angle of the boots was really what made those feel better in that respect. My new boots fit much better than the old ones, so I'm sure the boot is fine, but I'm not sure if I should be adjusting angles or stiffness, switching straps, or just strapping them a little looser to be able to get into a more ideal forward lean for smooth carving.

Upcoming venture into buidling a new rig with the current 6 year old one starting to fail. While I have done some reading up I appreciate my knowledge still probably hangs more in components from that time ago as well, so input would be greatly appreciated.
A few qualifiers: UK based for associated deals and pricing; gaming the main objective; AM5 socket and DDR5 RAM with mind for the pipe dream of "forward compatibility"; the Ryzen 9 7900X3D is a price placeholder for the to be released Ryzen 7 7800X3D which should be approximately the same price if not slightly less;no interest in RGB lighting.
Total pricing range floats around £1500-£2100 with degrees of wiggle room given the premium on AMD5 and DDR5 parts.
Without further ado, the parts list:
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	AMD Ryzen 9 7900X3D 4.4 GHz 12-Core Processor	£589.98 @ Scan.co.uk
CPU Cooler	Noctua NH-D15 chromax.black 82.52 CFM CPU Cooler	£109.95 @ Amazon UK
Motherboard	Gigabyte B650 AORUS ELITE AX ATX AM5 Motherboard	£242.39 @ Box Limited
Memory	G.Skill Flare X5 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-6000 CL36 Memory	£134.94 @ Amazon UK
Storage	Kingston NV2 1 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	£48.97 @ CCL Computers
Video Card	Gigabyte GAMING OC Radeon RX 6800 XT 16 GB Video Card	£593.99 @ Newegg UK
Case	Fractal Design Torrent ATX Mid Tower Case	£176.17 @ Ebuyer
Power Supply	Corsair RM750e 750 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	£123.48 @ Ebuyer
	Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
	Total	£2019.87
	Generated by PCPartPicker 2023-03-20 14:57 GMT+0000

I do note that from a rudimentary measurement check I would have to offset the CPU cooler front fan a bit higher to allow the RAM to be fitted without issue given clearance (32mm fan clearance in normal position vs 33mm height of RAM).
A weigh in on the motherboard and GPU would similarly be appreciated as would also whether going to 850w would make more sense than 750 as the estimated is 581w with the placeholder CPU.

My parents separated about 4 years ago and subsequently sold the house in 2021. Since the sale I’ve been living with her and her new boyfriend (we’ve been renting, haemorrhaging money in some respects), but she is frustrated with cohabiting with him and wants more space - with our lease up in a few months, it’s time to think about it.
She suggested that “we work hard and buy a house together”, on paper it makes sense as she won’t be able to get a mortgage at her age (54) and I (25) don’t have the capital for a deposit. However I’m having major reservations about going down this path. First and foremost, we don’t share the same goals - she’s planning towards retirement whereas I’m looking at establishing my career, having dealt with a lot of mental health issues and bouncing around a couple dead-end jobs after graduating from university. Secondly I’m concerned by her approach with money, spending somewhat frivolously on luxuries we don’t really need, because she is convinced her MLM-type crypto investments (look up Cashfx and Hyperfund) will come good, based off her trust in a friend who quit his job off the back of his success with it. Last but not least, I would like to have more independence and feel more control over my life, having felt very isolated and alone living at home for what feels like an eternity. I’ve lived with flatmates in the past as a student so I think I’d manage it fine.
I know I am in no position to buy a house, not even close, without significant help. What I’m wondering is, if it would be a mistake to not take the opportunity to get on the housing ladder as soon as possible rather than maybe 5-10 years from now, IF I meet a partner. What’s for sure is that it’s important to have this conversation with my mum sooner rather than later. Has anyone bought a house with a parent before? Is it likely to turn out well?

I’m 26F and only child. I make more money than they do and since I started working I pay my part for our life cost (we don’t pay rent because they own the apartment, but I pay for food and other apartment expenses). In my country, especially my parents’ religion, it’s uncommon to leave your parents house if you’re not getting married or to study or work in another state.
I’m lesbian and even though my parents know about that, they don’t treat that subject as “normal” to them, they just ignore that part of my life. I started dating a very nice woman recently and it’s just uncomfortable to bring her here, and as a result I spend a lot of time and money taking her to dates to be with her. I go to her place very frequently, but she also lives with her parents so we don’t have a lot of privacy. I would like to invite her to work from home (we work remotely), watch movies after work or just be with her in my own house, but I can’t and it’s a burden having to go out whenever I want to see her.
I also am starting to feel somewhat bothered by incompatibilities in our life styles (how and when to do chores, how I organize my own stuff in my room). Even before I started dating, I was struggling with privacy issues, my parents feel entitled to move my things around and reorganize my stuff and even after I expressed that I don’t like that, they don’t respect my feelings about that.
I was planning to move out when I had the money to buy an apartment (in about 2 years), but it’s becoming unsustainable for me. We had some fights in the past weeks that consisted of me trying to make myself some “space” in my own house (e.g. drawing boundaries on my things so that they don’t feel entitled to open my closets), so there is some stress in the air already.
I know I can do it anytime as an independent adult, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings or be in bad terms with them. We’ve always had communication problems and I know it would be hard to talk through this with them without being guilt trapped or without them putting me down saying I won’t be capable of taking care of myself or my dog. I never mentioned moving out for them, and I feel guilty that they won’t have time to prepare for that (I’m planning to move next month).
Because I’m moving out in a non-traditional way (not being because of work, studies or marriage), I’m scared that it might come off as I don’t appreciate them or I don’t like them. I’m looking for advice on how can I get them to understand me and not feel that I’m abandoning them.
tl;dr How do I tell my parents I want to live by myself without making them take my decision personally, hurting their feelings or degrading our relationship?

I was DMED in Facebook as I am looking for a new apartment and I got a very interesting offer.
The amount for rent is $900 and a $700 refundable deposit. Tbh, my text won't do justice imma just post the conversation:
https://imgur.com/a/lCIHspH
His name isn't matching the person who owns it.
Is this a scam?

I am looking for a new roommate to sublease this condo. Located in South Congress next to St. Elmo. Your rent would be $1350/month, owner pays water. Your own reserved parking space in a garage with a gate, patio with a view, in-unit washer and dryer. 6th floor of 6, corner unit with friendly neighbors. Move-in in April for a 1 year lease. Must pass a background check. No pets.
Other expenses: Google Fiber internet $35/month (each), electric is usually around $50-$60/month each. No other recurring expenses, parking included.
I am a 29M, fairly new to TX. I am quiet and clean. I work remote and do MMA in the evenings. Current roommate is moving to NYC in April.
Pictures of your bedroom and bathroom below. All furniture except for the entertainment center included.
https://imgur.com/bvdBpuA
https://imgur.com/5vsnVyn
https://imgur.com/hu2YssX
https://imgur.com/XCo8WHZ
https://imgur.com/3hSl9Yq
https://imgur.com/aPERDsZ
Please PM if interested. Hoping to meet in person to make sure we vibe before you move in.

I live in Toronto, where pits are supposedly banned. Ever since COVID I’ve been seeing more and more of them around.
This past summer, my husband and I moved into a new apartment building; we needed a bigger place because I was pregnant and we wanted more room for our baby.
When I was eight months pregnant, we were in the parking garage and another couple were getting out of their car along with two massive, unleashed pit bulls. One of the dog started running towards me. I have always disliked and been somewhat afraid of pits, so I froze for a moment (I had been about to get in the car and my husband was on the other side of it). The dog jumped on me hard, paws against my pregnant belly, which made me fall back slightly against the car. I shrieked and the dog got excited and ended up biting my leg. This was (thankfully) a bite and release (versus a hold and shake) and it wasn’t a deep bite. The owner had been shouting “he’s friendly” while this went on.
Anyway, when I took off my pants later, there were marks from the dog and I developed a bruise on the area.
Since then I have actively tried to avoid these people and their dogs, and especially so since my daughter was born. When they notice me avoiding them they laugh at me.
The other day I was in the elevator with my baby in her stroller, coming up from the basement parking garage. When we got to the main floor the man and one of his dogs got on. He had been standing right in front of the door, so I didn’t really have the opportunity to get off. The dog was unleashed. It was really excited and whiny, straining against its collar, which it’s owner had grabbed. But a second later the dog barged forward out if it’s owner’s grasp and jumped up onto my baby’s stroller, half pushing me out of the way and nearly toppling her stroller over. He grabbed his beast again and I didn’t know what to say or do.
When I got off of the elevator, he said, “he can tell you’re afraid. It makes him nervous.”
Today I spoke to my landlord about what happened. He didn’t seem to take me seriously. He also doesn’t believe that the dog is a pit bull because “they don’t have those here anymore,” with “here” being our province.
My husband is livid, and wants to confront the dog’s owner, but I feel like that could do more harm than good.
I would appreciate any advice on what to do here. My baby is only six months old and it makes me sick to think what could happen if those things got to her.

First
The Dauntless
​
“Oh wonderful. So our predictions were completely accurate?” Admiral Cistern notes.
“More or less sir, granted the worst case scenarios we sent the men into on the simulations did NOT happen, but there was a more or less total outbreak of hostilities between the gangs.” Private Stream answers and Admiral Cistern thinks.
“How responsible is project Phoenix Fire?” He asks.
“If you listen to the man’s own reports he’s responsible for everything from the Hindenburg to last night’s unrest to the sinking of the Titanic. He’d fit original sin in there as well if he thought we were a big enough sucker for it. At worst all our man did was accelerate an incredibly volatile situation. To him the gangs being almost impossible to infiltrate and unwilling to even contemplate bringing someone new in meant they were defensive and stable. What it really meant is that each gang was hyper paranoid and just looking for an excuse. Whatever he did was at most the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
“For someone who claims intelligence it’s rather stupid of him to miss that.”
“He is intelligent, but he has an ego sir. A big one. He’s been at the sidelines of society and judging the movements of peoples for centuries. Growing contemptuous and disdainful over everyone. He has learned a lot and is very capable, but he’s so cynical and dismissive of others he always settles on his first assumption and never leaves it. Sometimes it’s right, other times it’s far from it. It’s how we were able to jump on him so easily. He was so convinced that his safehouse undetectable. But to be honest... he’s not all that good at hiding them. The ones he’s set up on level eight we’ve had to cover up further.”
“I see... what’s your assessment of him?”
“We’ve observed him in action. He’s vicious, opportunistic and patient. Fine traits in a field agent, if we can carve away his arrogance, complete apathy to the death and suffering of others and outright scorn for the mental capacity of other people he might make a decent person. Unfortunately he seems to think we only have control of him because we got lucky and while he knows some ways to get us to do what he wants us to, he can’t seem to understand that we’re perfectly aware of what he’s doing.”
“So you’re saying the man needs to be humbled?” Admiral Cistern asks.
“Yes sir.”
“I’m not comfortable setting people up for humiliations and possible torture.” Admiral Cistern says politically.
“There’s little, if any need for that sir. He’s already had his first taste of humility. He has nearly died in the pursuit of the goals last night and has learned quite clearly that our insistence that all agents on the field wear at least a low profile armoured vest is a very well reasoned and intelligent idea.” Private Stream explains and Admiral Cistern huffs somewhat in amusement.
“How bad was it?”
“Point blank plasma shot. It melted through the first metal layer of the plate, burnt the first ceramic layer, slagged the second metal layer and cooked the second ceramic layer and then heated up the final metal layer red hot. This saved his life as it was right over his heart.”
“So our design works even with point blank plasma shots?” Admiral Cistern asks.
“Yes sir, but it will only take one shot at point blank range, and only from a low yield weapon. If his opponent had a plasma rifle then we would have a very dead Carib to deal with.” Private Stream answers.
“Hmm... it’ll do for now, but we’ll need to keep R&D on it.” Admiral Cistern notes. Then a coffee mug is placed to his left by another Private Stream and a third steps up to put a small tray of donuts next to it. “You’re getting good at this.”
“Sir! Thank you sir!” The Streams reply just before the door opens and Ambassador Nikta Tal walks in and pauses.
She then takes a big meaty pinch out of her thigh and blinks. “No, no this isn’t some strange fetish dream.”
“Fetish dream?” Admiral Cistern asks as she walks in and the Private Streams vanish.
“Oh you know, going airtight and still needing to use my hands for something.” She answers and his eyebrows go up. “Oh like you haven’t had little dreams of a horde of bouncy green sisters doing every nasty little thing with every part of ourselves.” Ambassador Tal says and there’s a faint pink blush across Admiral Cistern’s face. “There’s a blush, I know I got you.”
She saunters fully into the room with the secretary outside looking in with wide eyes. A stern glance from Admiral Cistern has the door close as Ambassador Tal smiles.
“So... new recruits are nearly finished.” She says walking up, a distinctive bounce to her bottom with every step.
“Yes.”
“Soon to take the oath of the Undaunted.” She continues as she hops up onto his desk and he stands so she doesn’t completely tower over him. She still bends over to give him a very good look into her cleavage. “Big cunning man is getting the sons and daughters of Centris loyal to him and his ways.”
“I do what I can.” He says very aware that the glistening black gloss over her lips not only matches her hair but from the way her tongue flicks over it she clearly either likes the taste or is eager to put it to use.
“And I’d like to do something I can. How open is your schedule?” She asks and he pokes a button on his desk.
“Free up my next two hours.” He orders his secretary. Before the confirmation comes he’s already contending with Ambassador Tal’s tongue in his mouth.
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“Uh sir you have a uhm....” Doctor Samuel says as he sees Admiral Cistern enter and notices the black smear on his jaw. Then he spots the Ambassador Tal applying more black lipstick and smacking her lips together.
“I’m aware.” Admiral Cistern states. “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes sir. This way please.” Doctor Samuel states, not mentioning that he had expected to see the Admiral an hour ago. It’s no mystery what’s going on. Not in the slightest.
“We have had several interesting tests and the initial trials with the hologram technology have proven very successful. Coupled with the prediction algorithms and we’re ready much sooner than expected when it comes to releasing fully immersive AI environments.”
“I saw the training programs. It looked fairly well done already.”
“Somewhat, we’re adapting entertainment systems to do this Sir. We didn’t have any real psychological profiles or proper interaction integration beyond injured and needs assistance or up and fighting.”
“Ah, so you’re saying the test lacked the ability to include diplomacy and intimidation as options.” Admiral Cistern notes.
“Just be careful with this tech. The Synthetic Ascendance often protests if you make a character in games like this too realistic.” Nikta says and Admiral Cistern looks at her in confusion. “Well think about it! Who plays those games more or better? They get way too involved in them and there’s more than one case where they’ve accidentally copied bits of themselves into it and had digital kids that way! Lots of fun scandals.”
The particular pronunciation of fun spoke volumes.
“Anything you’d like to get off your chest?” Admiral Cistern asks.
“But I just got the bra back on!” She states and he rolls his eyes. “But no. Just typically whine whine whine, oh your new holo-complex might have the programming required for this or that and it can be abused in this or that way and I’d rather you not have something then there by any risk at all that any citizen of mine get caught doing something they shouldn’t.”
“Sore subject?”
“Annoying subject. Bruel is a Frontier world. We need less regulations to thrive not more. Also, it’s not like we actually listen, but then some paper pusher comes screaming into my office and threatens sanctions they can’t enforce or trade embargos with nations and polities that aren’t trading with Bruel to begin with and it’s just so annoying.”
“Ah, those types.” Admiral Cistern says sympathetically. “Unfortunately necessary. Nitpickers are annoying, but needed, preferably where there’s a lot of nits to pick.”
“Nitpicker? Nit picker? An interesting way to describe the pedantic, detail obsessed and idiotic.”
“That’s basically what it means. Someone who focuses on unimportant details to the detriment of everything else.”
“As fascinating as the linguistic conversation is I do have some more for you than just the holo-training updates.”
“By all means.” Admiral Cistern states and Doctor Samuel looks quickly to Ambassador Tal and then turns to lead them in.
“As you know, we have been studying many, many differing types of weapons. So many in fact that many soldiers have taken to using compressed space techniques to carry their entire armouries in the equivalent of cigarette cases. This has been a very useful stopgap method and one I heartily encourage continued use of. But the issue is that there are numerous Axiom effects which can and will cause such things to effectively detonate. A disruption of the expanded space finds a soldier quickly buried in their concealed armoury.” Doctor Samuel explains.
“Have you found a solution?”
“We are working on a morphic weapon prototype. It is incredibly Null Vulnerable, but unlike many other Null Vulnerable techniques it’s merely disabled rather than destroyed when disrupted.” Doctor Samuel says.
“How did you do that? Is it carved in khutha?” Ambassador Tal asks.
“Lined with khutha Ambassador. We have an aluminum frame that has carved out areas lined with a thin khutha layer. This keeps the device lightweight and effective.” Doctor Samuel states as he leads them into a weapons range. Being operated by a scientist are several weapons in two different clear configurations. A long range laser and a short range plasma spread burst.
“Meet the Mark One Shift Rifle. Currently it has two modes. A short range plasma burst that spreads out in a cone three five meters long and wide. And a medium range burn laser effective out to twenty meters. It can freely shift between the two configurations and the shifting feature even works in Axiom Poor environments.”
“I see.” Admiral Cistern says taking up the weapon. “How does it work. Is it this small lever on the side?”
“Yes, you pull it out to unlock the shifting. Shift it to the desired configuration and then push it in to lock it again. The weapon will not fire while unlocked.”
“Smart safety feature.”
“One we implemented a little too late. I have a scientist in medical for the rest of the day.” Doctor Samuel states.
“I wasn’t informed about any injuries.”
First degree burn and nerves sir. We’ve had worse coffee spills. He’s getting some ointment and a day out of the lab to calm down before he really hurts himself.” Doctor Samuel explains and Admiral Cistern frowns a little as he shifts the weapon into another configuration. There’s a red aura around it now.
“Red is the plasma burst. Yellow is burn laser.” Doctor Samuel states.
“It’s a little clunky. The change was slow and required a bit more force than expected.”
“We’re working on that sir. Right now the best way around that is to give the muzzle a swing while it shifts.” Doctor Samuel advises.
“And light up half the room? No thank you doctor.” Admiral Cistern says pulling the weapon into it’s laser configuration. “Still, this will take a slight bite out of the sheer size of armouries that our boys are lugging around.”
“Our eventual hope is to get all formats of energy weapons stacked onto a single stock. Couple that with a pistol, a knife and their armour and our boys will be ready for just about any minor skirmish the galaxy over without the risk that an Axiom disruption will render someone vulnerable or your munitions easily stolen.” Doctor Samuel says.
“Hmm... still I think we’ll go with a hybrid style. Easily modified weapons in arm’s reach, but still having a moderate to large number of weapons to increase the firepower and versatility.”
“So more Doom Eternal than Jak and Daxter.” Doctor Samuel asks and Admiral Cistern just blinks at him. “Videogame references sir.”
“Doom Eternal? What kind of game is that?” Ambassador Tal asks.
“One unimaginably angry super-soldier against an unending horde of demons. And the demons are rightfully terrified of him.” Doctor Samuel explains.
“... I want to play that.” Ambassador Tal says with a big smile.
“It shouldn’t be too hard to do that.” Admiral Cistern replies.
“Can we?”
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Private Stream pointedly does NOT laugh as he brings in the latest report of what Moriarty is up to. It’s rather difficult as Ambassador Tal has embraced her inner gremlin and is sitting on the floor with a game system set up and giggling like a lunatic while she glorykills a baron of hell.
“Thank you Private Stream.” Admiral Cistern says as he takes the paperwork. The man had clearly just finally had a moment to sip his coffee and here he was with more work.
“You’re welcome sir.”
​
First Last

My partner (45M) and I (28F) are in an ENM relationship from the get-go for almost 5 years now. We were in a long-distance relationship for the first 2 years and for this time we were kind of solo poly, having our connections in our cities, and then I moved to live with him in his country (Canada), so we became each other’s NP. But this was during the pandemic, so we were not dating apart because of social restrictions, when we were dating it was mainly together.
Last year, I started to date on my own in Canada and now in 2023 I've been kind of dating a cute pal (28F) who I really like and want our relationship to continue. She is also bi, solo poly and understands my situation with a primary and nesting partner. Coincidentally they both work at the same place, not exactly working together, but they receive their paycheck from the same company, and when I first suggested introducing them both she weirded it out saying that this would be too awkward because they work at the same place. I understood it as her expressing she is not comfortable yet meeting a meta and ok. My NP, otherwise, had an unexpected reaction (for me) and didn't like her response, said that she was BSing me and that she is not that comfortable with the idea of polycule and me having an NP, and also said that he would not feel comfortable if I bring her over when he is not here (because I asked him if could host her while he's working, her shift ends when his starts).
This last information broke my legs because we do live together in a 1br place, she also has a roommate, so our housing situation makes it harder for one of us to host and have more intimate moments. In 3 months we only had sex once because there is no place for us and I'm too broken to pay for an Airbnb. I really felt so belittled, because I was not asking him to accommodate us, I asked him to use the place I also live in to bring someone important to me while he is not at home, they would not meet, but he kept saying that he is not comfortable, that's his private place and he doesn't want people he doesn't know here. So I realized that I had to introduce them to make, at least, my NP “accept” my new relationship and feel comfortable with this new dynamic.
After more dates, I asked her again how she would feel about meeting my NP, and she told me she would like to meet him and we scheduled to watch UFC at our place as a platonic activity to make everyone feel involved. My NP accepted it but asked me to “go slow” and don't show too much affection to her in front of him. Short long story: this meeting was the most awkward situation we 3 ever experienced. She barely talked to him, he tried to start a few conversations and she would just respond if I was somehow involved in the topic, she couldn't even look at him. And nonetheless, she was super “aggressive” in showing affection to me, really making some moves to get closer and touch me, and I got super nervous because as much as I wanted to be cuddling and touching her, I had promised my NP that I would not do it at this first meeting. I totally failed to keep my boundaries, he felt she was being territorial with me, that she lacks self-awareness and social skills because she turned a platonic meeting to introduce metas as a single date with me and my NP as the obstacle to making this private date happens.
It was a disaster! He had a bad impression of her, said he thinks she is a narcissist, that she was deliberately ignoring him and was just being slightly polite when I was present. I wanted to nurture a KTP dynamic, but he said he wants to keep things parallel, not exactly a DADT, but doesn't want her crossing his path in any way, including not allowing me to bring her over to our place when he is not here.
I'm so torn with this situation, maybe I underestimated how new and awkward this would be for all of us. He's already made up his mind and doesn't to interact with her again, I can not bring her over here at all. I'm wondering if I should have a conversation with her to try to understand what was her view on this situation, I'm also wondering how honest should I be with her regarding my NP’s opinion of her and our meeting... Because I don't want to make things more awkward than it is.
How should I approach her? Which questions should I ask her? How could I tell her that my NP basically hated her and that I don't have autonomy enough to bring her to my place? Is there a way I could make things different or slightly better? How can I navigate a dynamic of parallel partners? I know I can't have a KTP situation with them or make them friends, but is there a way I can mitigate their “disgust” for each other?
Thank you so much if you read here and I apologize if the text is too confusing, English is not my first language.

Competition is exhausting. Opponent is living in your head, rent-free. Even I won, I feel bad for other person. And then if I lost?, I feel bad for myself.
I hate and quit competitive mindset long time ago. However, in my life, I realized best performing years are from competitive years.
I find and tried new routes for motivation. But they’re not giving me same results. Is competitiveness just straight up necessary in this world? Should I embrace it and cope after- results with something else? Is there any alternative? What did work for you guys?

After the pandemic started and everyone went remote, I moved out of LA. I lived there for almost 10 years.
I'm surprised I lasted this long given how horrible hard water in LA is. Dry skin, dry scalp, dandruff, skin rashes, the fact that you cannot rinse properly made me smell because you never really cleaned yourself, the list goes on. It was absolutely HORRIBLE. And to top it off, the dry weather + even drier air when in an AC'd room, my god. So awful.
Yes, I can always get a water softener, but for me to do that, I need to buy either a house or a townhouse that has access to a water heater. You cannot install a water softener in a condo. And I don't have a million + dollars to buy a townhouse or house anywhere near any decent area (mainly the west side).
I could rent anywhere I want in LA but then I gotta deal with hard water.
How do you people cope with such poor quality water? to make matters worse, I hear water softeners are banned in LA. are you telling me people who buy 50 million dollar mansions are bathing in disgusting hard water? LOL

Moms I'm so frustrated and upset for my daughter. She's 12, we moved at the end of last year so she started a new school with like 6 weeks to go. This is the first big move she can remember and the first time she's gone to a school where she knows nobody.
Mid last year she started licking her lips and they got all red around them, you know kind of like a clown lip. Got some PawPaw, and she stopped licking her lips and it started getting better It was almost gone and she got a cold and it came back again. And it hasn't left. We've tried PawPaw, Vitiman A, Anti-fungal cream, Doxicyclone (or however you spell it), anti- histimenes and QV lip balm (lip balm with a PawPaw like texture but a different base).
She's very good at just taking/doing all the things and just keeping on going, but she's 12, nearly 13. There's all the emotions and social anxiety that go with being that age and not really having close friends at the moment. And she just came to me sobbing this morning because she just wants it to go away. Everyone has met her with 'weird lips' and she is just done.
And tbh I don't blame her. We were referred to a Dermatologist but they were private and $300 for the initial appointment. Yeah no and insurance won't cover that and all the ongoing costs. We have another doctor's appointment on Friday (thank goodness she's still a child and is free) and I'm going to push for a referral through the public system for a specialist visit and that they take some sort of swab or scraping of around her lips cause I just don't know what else it could be.
It's dry and stiff and not red when she wakes up and then just gets red as she goes about her day. It's also itchy. We do have a cat with long hair that only lets our daughter pet her and she does hug her and smooth her face right up to her which I have mentioned before but the doctor has dismissed it as it didn't start as an allergic reaction, and has continued even as we have moved regions.
I know it's not life threatening or major I just feel upset for her, and was hoping the collective Mom wisdom may have some more ideas I can try/suggest to the doctor as we wait to be seen by a specialist.
(Not in America).

After 15 years of struggling to make ends meet, I landed my dream job.
I'm not a ballerina or an astronaut or an international super spy. I'm just your run of the mill corporate drone who can now afford both rent and bread.
I've also never taken a real vacation because I could never afford to. In fact, in the past three years, I've never even taken a full day off. So, naturally, when a friend offered me the chance to join them on a two week adventure in another country, I was ecstatic. I'm finally in a position where I can afford a real vacation.
But...
This past week, I was completely under the weather. It had been a slow week, so I decided to take a full day off Friday to recoup. I return to work on Monday to discover that, despite my approved vacation time and, despite my out of office message, I was in hot water for not answering an important email.
You see, there's no one to cover me when I'm away.
I have to be accessible at all times.
I have to be able to work at all times.
That's how I'm able to afford the nice vacation...by never being able to take one.
We used to use the phrase "sell your soul" to describe things like fame and fortune.
How things have changed.
Welcome to the new American Dream.

​

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New season, new jersey, clearly a panthers Super Bowl in the near future. Kinda thinking it would be ridiculous in a fun way for this Panther to get a jersey with a Cat Team Brotherhood reference on the back. Dumb? Fun? Any ideas?

Background:
I'm at the stage where I need to make Fused Modular Frames. I have a Heavy Modular Frame factory already running with drone export. I've got another facility producing Cooling Systems, and it has sufficient excess of both nitrogen and aluminum casings. So I was going to add another floor to the cooling system factory with a few blenders for the Fused, using that excess Nitrogen / Casings on site, bringing in the HMF by drone, and then using drones to ship the fused frames out to become Pressure Cubes / Thermal Rockets.
But then it occurred to me that since I'll be using the HMFs at the same rate I'm producing fused frames, something like this might work without deadlocking the port:

• Port A with outbound HMF. No assigned drone
• Port B with drone assigned to pull from Port A. HMF goes from port to blenders, Fused frames come from blenders to port.
• Port C with drone assigned to pull from Port B

Once Port B's inbound inventory fills up with HMFs, that incoming drone will "block" export. But once enough room has freed up for that drone's drop-off to complete, it leaves to get more HMFs, the drone for Port C is allowed to land, and there should now be just about one full drone load of Fused frames for it to pick up. Each fused frame consumes exactly one HMF and both items have the same stack size.
This might even save me on batteries, since IIRC drones don't consume any while in "holding pattern". If outbound trips only trigger when a full load is being shipped, by my calculations I'm only burning batteries every couple of hours, instead of constantly shuttling 10-12 fused frames every few minutes.
The only potential deadlock situation I can think of is if both the export and import inventory are empty at the same time, the pickup drone is the one occupying it, and no new frames are being produced because they're out of HMFs. I do expect to need to "prime" the port with heavy frames to prevent that from happening initially. If fused frames back up, the drone for those will just hang out at Port C until more are needed.
Any flaws to this setup that I'm missing?

We wanted to highlight a couple things we noticed from the subreddit survey.
First, we want to thank anyone who took the time to fill out this survey.
Second, it seems as though there was some confusion that this survey was mandatory. It was not, and we can’t really track that or enforce it on a google docs survey, as it’s all anonymous.
Third, we are considering offering the survey out bi-annually to users to get a feel of how they think the sub is being maintained.
Now we will share some thoughts/opinions we found from the survey.

General feedback results

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Thoughts/opinions from the open ended questions

We had a lot of responses (198 comments in total!), and for that we thank you! We will be addressing the “top” topics that had the most comments.

Downvoting

Downvoting is not something that can be handled by mods. This is the nature of reddit. We can’t tell people not to downvote, because there is no way for us to control this. If anyone is hoping to gain further clarification on what the intended purpose of downvoting/upvoting is by reddit admins, they can find that information here
To clarify, mods cannot monitor who is downvoting/upvoting.

Ships

A big one was the theories and shipping related posts. Because it will be some time until we get the next book, it’s natural for people to speculate over who or what that book will be about. This is a large fandom, with many different opinions and interpretations. A few comments stuck out to us that claimed that multiple ships/couples books are next, and while it’s easy to just throw that out there and claim it as fact considering the amount of buildup characters may have had, it’s not fact yet. Until we have that 100% confirmed as the next ACOTAR book from SJM or Bloomsbury, nothing is certain. Do some of us think it’s likely that a specific character’s book is next? Of course! But we only think this, we don’t know for sure. It’s all a theory, no matter how strong it is!
When it comes to ships, a lot of users are becoming frustrated with the constant repetition of arguments surrounding two of the biggest ships in the fandom as it currently stands. One particular comment stuck out to us that while ship talk is fun, it turns harmful very quickly when real life issues surrounding the ability of someone being able to carry a child, or people who have been sa’d not being able have romantic relationships. These two discussions are harmful, no matter which way you try to spin it. Both takes are ignorant, full stop, and not the way SJM writes her stories. She writes of empowerment, resilience, and characters who are more than just their circumstances and trauma. Conversations surrounding the inability to have children and not being able to have a romantic relationship after being SA’d are STRONGLY discouraged. You will be met with criticism for these beliefs from across the subreddit, and while we don’t condone bullying, people have a right to disagree with you if you believe either of the two.
Some users have felt alienated for their shipping preferences on the sub. To provide further context, shippers feel like they can’t safely share their shipping opinions and that they are attacked by other users for these opinions. This opinion has been shared across the board with all ships, not just specific ones. Between people saying that they can’t share their thoughts, without being downvoted, to an influx of users disagreeing, or worse, shaming their (non-harmful) opinions. Unfortunately, this is reddit. We can’t control the thoughts and opinions of others, as this is a public forum. What we can do however is remove posts/comments that attack users. If someone disagrees with a user's shipping preference, that’s one thing. If someone starts to call users or a group of shippers crazy, idiots, lacking comprehension, that’s another. Reporting because someone is being cruel, and targeting you as a person is a valid concern, but we are not safe from disagreements.

Rants

Lots of responses included growing frustration regarding the amount of rants that are seen on a daily basis. We are currently considering including a day relegated to rants to keep the repetitive/controversial conversations to a minimum. This doesn’t mean that you can’t post anything else on those days (gush posts, theory posts), but that rants can ONLY be posted on those days. This will hopefully clear up the amount of ranting regarding characters, and may even decrease the need for cooldown topics.

Spoilers

While we try and make sure things aren’t spoiled, things do fall through the cracks. We are going to try and crack down on this more. There were many comments that asked to crack down on spoilers in the titles, and this is something we hope to be more vigilant in.
We are working vigilantly to crack down on this more than we have, while it is easy to flair posts as spoilers for Throne of Glass or Crescent City, we unfortunately cannot flair comments in that sense. After some feedback a couple of months ago we have taken the precaution of deleting comments, especially, and not restoring them until the spoilers are appropriately marked. If you see something that is a spoiler, flag it! The mods are only human and things can slip past us, we're doing our best.
This is also something that we all need to collectively do as a community.For any ToG/CC comments, they should be marked as follows.

KoA spoilers >! text here !< 

Any post that is not an ACOTAR spoiler post should also be marked in comments.

MaF spoilers >! text here !< 

Specific events of any of the books are spoilers, endgame couples are spoilers. Character names are generally okay as long as there is no information regarding that character that is a spoiler.
If you are unsure, feel free to message the mod account or you can check out the post here

Maasverse

Please proceed with caution! Do not click if you have not completed all three series!
Because the Maasverse is such a largely talked about topic right now, we are looking for ways to decrease the amount of spoilers. With CC2 having been the catalyst for the Maasverse, we know that a lot of users specifically want to talk about that in general. We’re hoping to also include a day, similar to the potential “Rant” day, where we have a day dedicated to the Maasverse. This will hopefully decrease the amount of spoilers as well, as the posts won’t be everyday! Some responses voted that we should redirect Maasverse topics to their respective subreddits, while others found it fine. We feel by allowing Maasverse topics on a specific day, this might be a happy medium.

Bullying

A lot of users voiced their concerns over bullying.
Users believe that they aren’t able to share their thoughts and opinions on the series without facing severe backlash, vitriol, or troll accounts. We understand the concern over this not being a safe space, and want to make it safer for everyone.
For whatever reason, tensions really run high in fandoms, especially in ones where we don’t have an end to the story yet. There are also a lot of opinions over things like specific characters, their motivations, and their behaviours.
The critique/hatred/love for a fictional character is absolutely fine, and engaging in civil discourse is expected. However, we think the majority of us can agree that those who try to paint real people in a negative light, diminish the intelligence and integrity of real people, name calling of real people, and targeted harassment of real people online is not only inappropriate, but creates a space of hostility. We don’t want this, and the majority of users don’t want this either.
A disagreement is not grounds for outrage, but when hurtful things about real people start to get spewed, that crosses a line. This goes for individual users, and groups of fans of specific characters/ships. People who have common opinions don’t deserve to be grouped together with people who display cruelty or rudeness, and a single person doesn’t deserve cruelty over an opinion that doesn’t pertain to real people. Offering your opinion to them that goes against their own is fine - that’s bound to happen! But hurtful comments and targeted harassment will not be tolerated.
Going forward, users who behave in a cruel manner will first receive a warning for this kind of behaviour, then a two week ban, then a full sub ban if the behaviour continues. We can’t stress this enough again, disagreements are one thing, being intentionally hurtful is another.
At the end of the day we are all here because we love and appreciate this series, there is absolutely no room for any of the hate that has been harbored. We want this to be a safe and welcoming space for all users, anyone who puts other users in jeopardy of feeling unwelcome and unsafe in sharing their opinions will have taken action against them.
​
Thank you again to everyone who provided us with feedback, new policies will be implemented as of March 20th, 2023, new weekly features will be rolling out over the next few weeks! If you have any questions, comments or concerns about any of this, please do not hesitate to reach out to us.