So i'll begin with the basics I guess im 32 from the east midlands near nottingham, open to meeting people from wherever but in an ideal world it would be great if you were from the UK to make it easier to meet up if we do click.
With that out the way a heads up I can be somewhat of a rambler at times so just a prewarning lol.
I have some of the expected hobbies that redditors tend to have and between watching comedies and indie game development I am a casual gamer to keep up with friends and family.
Growing up as a forces kid I have moved about throughout my life so enjoy travelling and getting to see new places, I enjoy going camping from time to time and hiking about on the odd occasion.
Tend to be a bit of a free spirit and music wise listen to anything and everything though my faves do tend to come from rock and metal. Just recently got back from a tribute act festival that lasted a few days which was pretty fun.
I'll leave it at that for now if you feel we would hit it off feel free to ping off a dm or chat.

Somebody told me of a time slip account that one of their friends told them and it was where they were staying in a hotel in London, but were planning on going to St Pancras train station so that they could travel to Paris.
After leaving the hotel, they found that they had a while yet before their train to Paris left. When they were walking down the street towards St Pancras train station, they found a casino situated nearby, across the road from the St Pancras train station.
They decided to go to the casino to help kill a bit of time, and when they went in, the place was full of cigarette smoke. The music being played sounded 1960s , and they got welcomed into the casino by a woman who had a similar style; and the general look of the place was very old fashioned.
The friend then won some money when playing at one of the slot machines, and they decided to get a quick drink at the bar before leaving. They then left the casino and went to the St Pancras train station and head off to Paris for the day.
Upon arriving back in London in the evening, they decide to go back to the casino again.
Except they couldn't. It was nowhere to be found. They went back to the hotel and tried looking for the casino again early in the morning, but couldn't find it anywhere. They asked various people if there had ever been a casino near the St Pancras train station and the answer they got was no.
What seemed strange was how the money they won at the slot machine was modern British currency and when they got a drink at the bar, their modern British money was accepted.

https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1649960/the-time-slip-thread

Figured with RideLondon just over, it might be time to give these a go again. I'll post the links to events in a comment - some of the previous versions of this seem to have got stuck in the spam filter (I thought people were just over them, but just realised they were never visible for anyone else).

• 3 June Woodoaks' Tour de Ricky - a nice audax with distances of 50km, 100km and 200km just outside the M25 in Maple Cross (short ride from the Rickmansworth - you can take your full size bike on the Met line!). An audax is a self-supported ride on open (but often quiet) roads, so often no feed stations, but you'll need to get your stamp card validated, often at or near cafes.
• 11 June Windmill Ride Chelmsford - another nice audax with a 100km and 200km options through Essex. It's a short ride from Chelmsford train station (you can take your bike on the train from Liverpool Street, no reservation needed). Similar terrain to RideLondon, but a much nicer route. With a lot of windmills.
• 17 June Outsider Bike ride - a 100km cyclosportive presented by Brixton Brewery (free victory pint at the finish) and Paria CC. £30 to enter, but that also includes food/drink stops at the Velo Barn on Pilgrim's Way and EXN Social in Orpington
• 18 June BHF London to Brighton - regular tickets have sold out, but there's still some tickets available via charities if you can do some last minute fundraising (or signup to the 10 September one below)
• 18 June Wheelers Audax Rides - and even more audaxes, this time with 100km, 160km and 200km options starting from Ware in Hertfordshire. Again, easy enough to reach on the train, and hot food for all the finishers!
• 23-25 June Herne Hill Velodrome Velofete - three days of crit and track racing to watch, talks to listen to and jumble sales to get more cycling kit at. More info on the programme and talks to be available soon.
• 24 June Arts and Science, The London Midland Ride - just throwing a feistier audax in here, so you know there's more out there: 600km that you have to finish within 40 hours. And it starts from King's Cross station, going out all the way to Brum and back (and if that's not extreme enough, there's also a 1000km one from London to Land's End and back in July!)
• 25 June Richmond Park TT - if long distance isn't for you, but you want to challenge yourself, perhaps the Richmond Park time trials are more your thing? You follow a 10 mile course in the park, with the first riders off at 6am, so it will be an early start (allowing the TT to be on as traffic free roads as possible).

Further away but something to put in your calendars:

• 1 July - Dunwich Dynamo. An overnight 120 mile ride from London Fields to Dunwich Beach on the Suffolk coast. Get some decent lights, a ride you need to do at least once if you're a London cyclist!
• 10 September - London to Brighton ride

As always, please add any events I might have missed - there's lots on and there's no one place all cycling stuff is listed so would be nice to get some stuff together here!

I’ll start off saying I’m 22 turning 23 at the end of the year so I know this is the best time to decide what I want to do in life. I grew up in a small town in Arkansas and straight out of high school I went to work at a local boat trailer company as a welder and over the 4 years I was there worked my way up to shop supervisor. Made good money for the area and it was an easy job, didn’t really have to do much just order materials, but there was no benefits. So I started looking for more welding jobs near me and landed a welding job in Texarkana, TX with good health, dental, vision insurance. I took a pay cut as I had to start from the bottom and work my way up again but am quickly realizing this career route is not for me. Straight out of high school I enjoyed welding, idk if it’s because I had a supervisor position for 1 1/2 years or what but I just can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand getting burns, which comes with welding, as it leaves scabs and I get looks from people cause it looks like drugs. The days drag by and I only look forward to the gym after work and hanging out with friends on the weekend. I’m not a lazy person, even though what I just said may make people think otherwise, I want to work I just don’t want to work in rough conditions.
I’ve considered just quitting and working as a cook at a restaurant as I honestly think I’d enjoy it more than what I’m doing. I’m not sure what job would fit me, my mom tells me I should become a personal trainer as I’m really into the gym, I track all the food I eat, I take care of myself, even though that can be hard just considering the job environment I’m in now. Only problem I can see with being a trainer is I’m not much of a people person, though that may change if I actually enjoyed my work environment. Only other career I could maybe see is a mechanic, as I like working on trucks, cars, and bikes.
So with all that I hope someone could help guide me in a direction, whether it’s trainer, mechanic, or something completely different. If y’all have any questions that’s would help guide me feel free to ask.

It's been hard but almost 3 weeks now I have stuck to my limits of 30 a week only on sports no casino. still have thoughts about near misses that happened about a month ago but some days it doesn't even cross my mind.My limits on all known betting sites and my girlfriend watching my bank has definitely helped.I feel like my mind is healing from all the suffering I caused myself gambling for 4 or 5 hours a day every day. Feel like I have so much more energy. It does get better !

Race Information
Name: Capital of Texas Triathlon
Date: May 29, 2023
Distance: 750m/12.3mi/3mi
Location: Austin, TX
Time: 1:29
​
Goals
Goal Description Completed?
-------------------------------
A 1:30 *Yes*
B 1:34 *Yes*
​
Splits
Mile Time
------------
Swim 15:30
T1 2:30
Bike 38:30
T2 2:00
Run 30:50
​
I enjoy reading race reports so much, here is my contribution.
​
Training
I used a training plan from the 80/20 Triathlon book. I had completed the Level 1 Olympic plan for a race in the beginning of April, and then switched over to do the final 8 weeks of a Level 2 sprint plan for this race. 3 runs, 3 rides, 2 swims (sometimes 3). I felt strong running, doing long runs of 1:30-1:45 most weeks, but not very fast (and very fast for me isn't even very fast normally). I also do a long ride of 2-3 hours most weeks. I'm a strong swimmer but not as fast as I used to be, I haven't given the swim much attention.
​
Pre-race
I'm a woman in my 40s and competed in swimming as a kid, then triathlon in my 20s after time off to recover from back surgery. I did this race in 2003, the olympic distance, among many others. Last year on the encouragement of my 7 year old daughter I signed up for the sprint about 5 weeks out. I had been biking and running alternating days after finally recovering from some chronic and severe back/pelvic/hip problems that left me unable to run for more than a decade.
I wanted to improve my time over last year and I felt that I should be able to run faster, since last year I completed a 5k training plan and ran a 27 minute 5k (in the old days I could do 23, but still proud) and also ran a half marathon. I also biked a lot but I don't have a power meter or smart trainer, I do all my rides outside on varied terrain and so I have no idea what race pace would be for me. Last year my bike split was 45 min, but I looked back at that 2003 race and saw that I did the olympic distance bike course in 1:14. I'm not in 22 year old shape anymore but seeing that made me realize I could go a lot harder on the bike.
I decided to go pretty hard on the swim and bike and let what happens happen on the run. I did my bricks at a 9:30 pace and felt strong, but I don't think I could go much faster than that.
My splits from 2022: 17:00 swim, 2:30 T1, 45:00 bike, 2:00 T2, 30:10 run
​
Race
It's not a seeded start and there were many waves before me so the course was pretty crowded but I felt good overall. I've been practicing sighting and that went better, it's also a really straightforward rectangle. I had to stop and clear my goggles because they fogged so badly but that only took a few seconds. I think I could have gone maybe 30-60 sec faster and felt fine but I'm happy with my split here, it was around 25th percentile in my age group. The lake downtown has a lot of hype for being disgusting and dangerous to swim in but honestly any lake near any type of people is going to be kind of gross if you let yourself think about it.
The bike course is a 6 mile loop, you do it twice for the sprint and 4 times for the olympic. It has 2 U-turns per loop as well as a bunch of 90 degree corners. It was raining a little and they had people out yelling to slow down for the turns, I didn't see any crashes but heard that there were some. I pushed pretty hard on the bike, I was hoping to do 40-42 min compared to last year's 45, and finished in 38:30, also 25th percentile for my age group.
I got out on to the run and my energy was ok but I didn't have any power. I felt like I was doing those 9:30 miles from training but my watch told me they were 11:00 miles. I did bring a water bottle that I drank from a little but mostly poured on my head and back throughout the run. Without that I probably would have had to walk just from being too hot. We all agreed that the course was short, it was 3 miles if that, not 3.1. So I finished just under 31 minutes but it's a little misleading pace-wise. My run was like 70th percentile for my age group.
Post-race
I feel great about the race and plan to take another year to get stronger on the run. 25th percentile run for my age group would have been around 26 minutes and I feel confident that I can get there with another year of running under my belt. I've only been able to run at all for about 2 years now, I just need to stay injury free. I'm glad I pushed myself on the bike and plan to go on some harder group rides which I know is how I got faster in my 20s. I'd also like to get a power meter, but they're very expensive.
I'm debating a fall 70.3 (it would be my first) and then plan to train for the Austin Marathon in February.
​
Made with a new [race report generator](http://sfdavis.com/racereports/) created by herumph.

Let me start off by saying I have always been extremely reclusive and the past nearly five years have been nothing short of me going to great lengths to avoid people at all costs outside of work (which had been mostly remotely since the pandemic) and going to the grocery store. I only recently managed to start to be able to go to the gym again to try to gain some strength back to help with my uneasiness after I was r**** around 4 years ago. It was so bad that I would pull up to the gym and see one guy there and then just leave, or try to wait in my car for them to leave first. When I lived in an apartment I even waited to take out my trash til the middle of the night so I didn’t have to see or interact with anyone. If I opened my door and someone was in the hallway, I’d go back inside until they were gone then leave. I generally will not exit my car if there are people around either. Finally at the gym, I slowly but surely got myself to start going in and have been fairly consistent. I used to never be scared of people I just never liked being around them. Adding that aspect really changed a lot of things for me. Recently I let some online friends all convince me to go to a massive music festival (500,000 attendees?) that I was in no way mentally (or otherwise) prepared for and I’m just at a loss on how to move forward from here. Leading up to the vacation I was in all sorts of bad shape medically going through various things with trying new medications for migraines and dealing with stomach ulcer issues, etc... high stress with my job and a particular friendship with one of the other people in the group who would be attending with us, things like that. I kept mentioning to everyone including that friend I was struggling with that I don’t think I should come. I tried to stress how hard this was going to be for me and I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone else but I don’t think they understood or tried to understand. To be honest, as bad as it feels, and I’m not sure, this could just be in my head, I feel like they didn’t care because we both had wanted to meet each other for a long time and had been past just being simply friends but weren’t dating so they may have just wanted to sleep with me. I don’t want to think that but I can’t be sure and although I brought it up later on in the trip they never clarified - more on that later. Anyway, any time I mentioned I shouldn’t come, I would either be treated like I was using this as a threat/to take something away from/be mean to my friend who I was having high tensions with OR met with reassurance that I’d be in a safe place with people who cared about me. Which made it very confusing and in the end I did go. A couple things to mention I have a lot of other trauma from my childhood and I do not function normally at all, I have C-PTSD, severe anxiety, and a lot of of other things that I think I will have to see a specialist for because really simple things tend to be hard for me. I ended up meeting with my long time friend I’d been having a rocky time with a day later than planned and after having missed a flight and being up 36+ hours the day before and working a 10-hour shift the day prior too. Everything was chaotic and I felt like the worlds biggest mess. I’ve never looked worse or felt more scatterbrained in my life. For the sake of the rest of this story I’ll call my friend: S. I’d known this person online since covid, so for about 3 years and we had been extremely close off and on. I have so much love for this person which is crazy because I usually do not care for people much or find it very hard. In the beginning of our friendship they were very caring and attentive but there were also drugs and alcohol involved and at the time I don’t think I realized a lot of the things they told me that meant a lot to me were probably when they were on drugs like molly. At the time I was pretty unfamiliar with that. I barely drank. Also probably worth mentioning S may have some issues of their own, behavioral or developmental and so they’re not “normal” like everyone else which is why I think we got along so well. We both could talk about the strangest things all day and have very particular interests and just really enjoyed spending time together prior to getting more heavily involved when arguments became more frequent. Back to the vacation: I was so nervous to be flying but finally got off my last plane and S was there to meet me near my baggage claim. I couldn’t believe I was finally meeting him. There were some definite differences I noticed in what I imagined or thought he would be like in person compared to what I’d seen from him online. He definitely had a cool, calm demeanor online but felt a bit more dorky in person which I actually loved. He was sweet and helped me with my bags and I nervously rambled about what I mess I was and how I’d already been having a difficult time. We talked about not doing anything sexual but sure enough at the hotel he was already making advances to get on my bed (we had two beds). I think my conversation and my obvious attentiveness to what he was doing kept him from actually moving to my bed without asking. Eventually he did ask to cuddle and we did have sex. Not really shocking considering I’ve always been extremely into him and vice versa. Between that day and the next we just got to enjoy each other’s company, sight-see, and got great food then eventually checked out of the hotel to meet up with everyone else in our group, get situated in our camping spot/the rv and get ready for the music festival. This is when it started going sour. I don’t think S was in any way prepared for how much comfort I needed around this amount of people. I come from a very rural area with towns that have around 1,200 occupants. The closest city has 70,000 and again I am not comfortable being around people regardless. Not sure if this trauma related or if I am on the spectrum with aspergers or autism but being around people gives me this extreme discomfort that I would liken to ripping my skin off. I don’t really know how to explain it. I’ve found that drugs and or alcohol can help or being around someone who makes me feel safe can help but it’s just so unsettling. So I try my best the first day, I’m quite stiff the whole time. We all had done some acid but I only did a half tab because I knew it could make things much worse, at best it might allow me to loosen up a bit. It didn’t. It made me nauseous. Uneasy. More needy. I convince S to go back with me to a place I know I can get some molly (not from strangers) so I am less tense and don’t have a meltdown. I know using drugs especially like molly is not a good answer for what I was going through but I felt like I was about to have some psychotic episode to be honest. I was so out of my element and S was having the time of his life - he absolutely LOVES music and I don’t think I could have a proper conversation with him to explain how I was feeling or get him to understand/care so I felt like it was my only option unfortunately. Anyway, it did help the night go a bit more smoothly. I let myself relax... a little. I had some fun. Not much which is sad because this was an extremely expensive festival to attend but I was having so much trouble getting out of my head. So many negative thoughts and weird emotions were rushing over me the entire time and I couldn’t get them to stop. The second night I was more prepared. Again, I did molly but nothing else. My friends had brought other things but I knew I had to be careful not to put myself in a position to have a bad trip or to make things worse. Molly is pretty straight forward and can more or less force a good time and me to relax to I kept with that instead. This was a common theme the duration of the 3-day festival. So the second day was the only day I could actually say I truly had fun. I enjoyed the music so much. Watching S have fun made my heart feel so full. He loves to dance and I took tons of videos of him enjoying himself. Other than me having to constantly get water and go to the restrooms it was pretty great. We were the last ones back to the rv and we messed around a bit since everyone was asleep and in a different part of the rv where they couldn’t heasee us. He fell asleep with me for a bit then went to get up and go to his bed but for some reason opened the rv door and left it wide open? It was so effing hot out and my bed was in the dining area where all the heat was coming in so I get upset... mostly because I can’t get the door to close. Idk why but we all had issues with this rv door the whole time we had it. Not sure if it was broken or what, half the stuff listed on the rv was broken so wouldn’t surprise me. So I just try to hold the door closed, super exhausted but perched near the stairs inside of the rv and after 5-9 minutes of S being gone he comes back and I kind of go off on him. I don’t know how bad, I don’t think I said anything hurtful just like, “Why would you leave it open? I’m tired but I had to sit here and hold the door closed because it’s so hot...” but my tone was rough and I could see a sad, disappointed look in his face. Like we just had so much fun and that’s the last thing he experienced before going to bed. The next day I was hoping would be the best day because I was hoping I’d get more relaxed around people but about 2 hours into the night we get stuck at these really great sets and S is up front literally fist bumping one of the DJs that he adores and completely euphoric. I stay back and take videos of him because I know people will be taking videos and I don’t want to be up there and have attention on me or be touching bodies with so many people. Just a really uncomfortable situation for me. Over an hour passes and I really have to pee, I don’t want to bother S and he hasn’t come over to check on me once so I test the waters by walking away to throw something in the trash. I think to myself that maybe I can find a bathroom. I go back to my original spot, see S and then think again that I really don’t want to bother him and it will make me uncomfortable to go up there and also to try to shout in his ear that I need to use the restroom. We had to wear earplugs this whole time and he really wasn’t listening to me or paying much attention to me at this point because he was so lost in the music. To be honest there’d been a few times he completely dismissed me trying to talk to him already during the festival so I weighed the options and felt like it wasn’t worth me being so uncomfortable just for him to most likely wave me off and not listen to me anyway. So I go to try to find the bathrooms on my own. 45 minutes later and I still haven’t found them. I don’t know how. There’s just so many people, I’m kind of short and my eyesight is shit and I just have no idea what I’m doing. I keep ending back by where S was so I go back to where I was standing originally and still see him. Finally I go up to him and just shout, “I’m leaving,” thinking he would follow far enough out of that tightly packed crown in front of the DJ that I could say more. He shouted back he wasn’t leaving. I think I went back and said it a second time then started walking away and waited 30-45 seconds to see if he followed. He didn’t. Probably didn’t help there was a mostly naked chick dancing right next to him up there either. At this point I can tell I’m the last thing on his mind. I think he actually scowled at me when I was trying to talk to him like I was definitely bothering him at this point. In the past he told me he likes to do things alone and he’s even told me I get in the way (you choose the context, you’re right either way) so I know he’d reached his limit with me. It sucks because he promised he’d be with me the whole time and convinced me to come when I didn’t want to based on telling me I’d be safe and yadda yadda but he literally wouldn’t even give me the time of day if I asked. Doesn’t hurt to mention throughout this whole festival ($700+ tickets btw) that I never got to see anyone I wanted to see. It was just him dragging me to every set he wanted except for ONE which was a set he wanted to see anyway. Regardless, I had to leave again and try to find the restroom. I eventually did then found my way back. He’s gone even after saying he wasn’t leaving. I can’t get in touch with him he has no reception or data at this place. He’d been asking me to hotspot so he could’ve asked somebody else but he didn’t. I tried to contact the rest of the group in our rv but no one gets back to me for several hours. I couldn’t enjoy the music at this point because I’m having a panic attack in a sea of people I don’t want to be around, completely sober at this point, lost the one person I care about in a way where I know he will blame me, and can’t get ahold of anybody. I basically power walked around by myself for 3-4ish hours just to keep myself occupied and then eventually was able to meet up with some other people from our group. S is with them. I was so hurt. I know none of them understood what I was going though but they convinced me to come and left me alone and didn’t even care. I felt used by S too. I felt like his whole goal was just to get me here to sleep with me and he didn’t care about the rest or treating me decent, especially because our friendship leading up to this point had been so rocky and he completely just started tuning me out. Lots of mixed signals and lies to be honest, while also accusing me of lying when I wouldn’t be and saying he doesn’t trust me. I have so many things running through my head. Unfortunately two of our group separate to go meet up with some other people they met earlier that night and leave S and I alone again. I don’t know where I’m going or what to do again. S asks me if I’m going back to the rv and I stupidly just don’t respond. I found that he stonewalls me so much, sometimes for hours or days that I started doing it back here and there and it never goes well. If I don’t respond to him he obviously just gets pissed and walks off. I realize I don’t want to be left alone again and try to follow after him but he’s super tall and I have a really hard time keeping up plus I think he’s intentionally trying to lose me because he starts weaving in between rvs and I think hid behind one for a moment. I saw him come back out and look around but must not have seen me. So I got lost once when he did that but then found him again but then got lost a second time because I just couldn’t keep up. Anyway I make it back to the rv and he’s not there, no one is and it’s locked but I have one of the two keys. I probably should have unlocked it? But being in high anxiety mode I think I was more worried about leaving all our valuables unattended especially when one of the previous nights somebody was trying to get into our rv multiple times even with it locked. So I left it locked and walked towards the camp bathrooms to see if S was there. Not sure why I was looking for S, I guess I just didn’t want to be alone. Didn’t find him there so walk back to the rv again and find 3 of our group had just walked up so I unlock it and we go in. 2 others go shower and S gathers his things to shower and walks out. While he’s gone I go to grab his dab vape from his bag because I knew exactly where it was and I thought it would calm me down because I don’t need much. I grab the whole vape because I wanted to sit on my own bed and hit it. Anyway apparently he wasn’t going to shower and he returned while I had it and was looking for it and asked me where it was. Again, stupidly I don’t answer or at least not how he wanted. I answer his question with another question, “why?” Just being difficult. Honestly I recognize how toxic this is on its own in hindsight but at the time I think in my head I was just thinking about all the times he would ignore me for hours or days and I wasn’t able to ask a simple question or get a simple answer so I thought this was somehow justified based on those previous interactions which is ridiculous. In any case this goes over VERY badly. When some of our other group comes back he goes to one of them and tells them I went through his bags, implying all of them, and stole (yes, called me a thief) his entire vape. Not just a hit. Which by the way I was never even able to get hit off the vape because for some reason either I was doing something wrong or it wasn’t working/was dead/empty. I saw S hitting it later so no idea what I was doing wrong but I’d used it earlier and it wasn’t like it was complicated. Anyway not only that S who also always had a way of making an argument out of nothing also started accusing me of lying about walking back to the rv and seeing him there the first time I got back and just not unlocking the rv for him. Maybe he was hiding around the side of it? But I truly didn’t see him. He just starts calling me a thief and a liar on these grounds in front of or to, since he’s not really talking to me, our mutual friends. Somewhere in all of this I think I had said some pretty terrible things to him like having wished I never met him, nobody would ever want to be with him (he is not affectionate or caring but it’s not my place to say something like that so while I may feel like there’s some valid reasoning for it it’s obviously not okay), and some other things I regret. We also had another part of vacation planned just the two of us after the festival where we were to split off from the rest of the group and at some point I told him I felt like he completely tricked me into coming without caring about me at all and that I no longer wanted to go the rest of the trip with him or would pay him for our room we stayed together in previously because I may need that money to book something else. Which that part was just stingy. My portion of the room was $110. I think I was just thinking of how I spent $2500 (minimum, closer to $3,500 at this point) to go on a vacation where I had a massive extended panic attack the whole time, got abandoned, and didn’t get to enjoy much of what I wanted while he got everything he wanted. We barely talked the next day. We were supposed to leave the following morning (2 days after the horrible last day of the festival) to continue our vacation. Our more financially blessed friend got a hotel for everyone that hadn’t left yet so we could relax before the rest of us head home or elsewhere. While everyone else goes to the pool and to check out the casino I tried to talk to S about what was going on. Said I would pay but I need to know he isn’t lying about plans. He’d gone back and forth on a couple things and I felt like I might not have a place to stay at one of our next locations since it was with one of his friends, not a hotel. He refused to answer any questions, per usual. Even just me asking, “will I have a place to stay?” At this point he wanted me to pay him for the hotel we stayed at previously and for all of our other accommodations upfront but would not tell me if I was actually going to have somewhere to stay the entire time or would need to get another hotel on my own. I’m in panic mode, with everything going on and even simple things being hard for me I needed to know this but he wouldn’t tell me. The only thing he would say about every five minutes was, “pay me or leave me alone,” and he’d slip in, “thief,” here and there. This goes on for two hours. At one point I notice he’s recording me as I’m telling him I can’t pay him for everything if I don’t know that I’m going to have somewhere to stay. He could cancel plans and completely screw me over. This is important because he does in fact, cancel plans. But at the time he won’t say anything but to pay him. Eventually one of our group members come back and reluctantly gets involved and obviously tells me that I should pay for the room we stayed in which I do agree (even though I should’ve mentioned I paid for all our expensive meals while we were there) and that S should apologize which is what I was asking of him so that I could take it as the smallest sign he could be trusted not to screw me over, I’d pay him, and we could get on with everything. I ask for S’ PayPal and even though he recorded himself telling me to pay him and what seemed like me saying I wouldn’t (without knowing I’d have somewhere to say) it was odd because he was trying to refuse to give it to me, asking, “why?” I said, “why do you think I’m asking for your PayPal? You wanted me to pay you.” And then then he’d say he didn’t trust me with it. We still weren’t sure if we were going to continue with the trip and he asked me to leave the room so he could talk to our other friend. I knew he was going to show him the video/recording. I went to the other hotel room and unfortunately fell asleep. Our plane was supposed to be leaving in <6 hours so this was all incredibly rushed timing. I wake up and he had sent me a text message asking what room I’m in so we can talk. I reply I’m tired and just go to their room instead. By then everyone is back so we talk in the hallway. He says meet him at 6:30 am in the hall and be ready to go. He finally sends me the email associated with his PayPal and I send a test amount to make sure it goes to the right place. It shows his full name and doesn’t say anything about the email being unconfirmed. Back in my room I fall asleep on accident again and wake up to a message from him saying he didn’t receive anything and not to send anything else, and another message saying he doesn’t trust me and he’s sorry but he’s cancelling his flights and the accommodations. I catch him leaving at 6:30 on his own. I was crying and tried to talk to him but he just looked at me with a blank face and told me it’s my fault. We haven’t spoken since and it’s been about a week. It’s worth mentioning in our friendship leading up to this that he would often start problems when there were none just to say he had a reason to not want to talk to me and would ignore me for days at a time which is part of why I didn’t want to go on the vacation to begin with on top of me severe issues with everything else. I know that my anxieties and the hurtful things I said were or should have been in my control and I feel terrible about that but I can’t help but think he had this planned. Especially with recording him telling me to pay him then refusing to give me his PayPal. In fact for days after I messaged him to get his PayPal with no response, tried contacting his friend he was with to ask for it as well or to see if I could send the money to them and they could send it to S but they just said they’d pass the message on and never got back to me. I know he showed that video to people and tried to say I wouldn’t pay him and then refused to allow me to pay him to make me look bad and I don’t understand that. In the end he had to pay our friend (who initially covered the rv) his portion for the rv, so I had that friend forward my money to S on PayPal since he had him in his contacts after that. I even overpaid S, almost double to help with the ubers and for a vape since he may or may not think I tried to steal his. I guess now I’m just left with trying to process everything. Are we at equal fault? Is it more one person than the other? Is it forgivable? I have a hard time with boundaries and I don’t make lots of friends so this person means a lot to me. I’m worried about potentially getting sucked back into something that’s bad for me but also not caring about myself enough to stop it, I guess. For added context S and I quit talking once before and he even told me that we, “were never even really friends,” even though we’d spend 13 hours together a day just talking or playing games. It makes it hard to rationalize what’s real or what’s not. I think I need therapy. Does anyone have anything to offer here?

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I've been in Germany nearly 10 years now. I moved here from Canada. This sub and a lot of ex-pat groups can be quite negative so I thought I'd post why I actually like it here.
Germany can be obtuse and stubborn and ugly, but the city I'm from (Vancouver) has it's own long long list of problems that make it just as unattractive at times. Not just Vancouver, most Canadian cities TBH. I've seen things that would be unthinkable here, but are everyday life in Canada. I've seen corpses sit for days on the streets from ODs before someone noticed they weren't just a zombie they were dead and called the cops. Multiple friends and neighbours of mine have died because of fentanyl. I have a bunch of friends whose moms would sell party-drugs and do sex-work cause there was no other way to afford a place to live. All the drugs I did as a teen were sold to me by my friends moms. Vancouver is also completely infested with white-collar crime. Triads, Yakuza, Angels, Italian Mafia, Polish mafia, Indian gangs etc. and the police are completely powerless to do anything about it (and often in bed with them). Absolutely everything is a money-laundering scheme. It's not all as depressing and negative as it sounds, but when you grow up around it and you're working class you wind up working for them even if your work is 100% legit it's just completely inescapable. They're in bed with real-estate developers, they own all the clubs and casinos and dozens of restaurants... A friend of mine is a Japanese cook, there's a whole street full of restaurants that are just Yakuza money-laundering fronts where you can eat pufferfish and drink turtle's blood if you know how to ask. There's no real pharma-care, only like 10 days vacation a year, no paid sick-leave. The food is miles better and there's endless nature to enjoy but Canada is heavily romanticised.
Looking at my home country, a dream place to emigrate for many, I don't see a future for myself, or most of my friends who still live there. The rents are just as bad, education is too expensive for most of them to do full-time, death and addiction plague most cities and social services are just as fucked there as they are here.
That said, I've been incredibly lucky here. Turns out I'm good with languages, I speak C1 German with virtually no accent and have been able to pretty much since year 2 of being here. I met a German woman and we're getting married. The Ausländerbehörde are still assholes but they respect me for what I've achieved and if they ever give me lip I have a German with me which has gotten me places I wouldn't have otherwise. Her family wound up sponsoring me, so I've never had to deal with virtually any financial beaurocracy cause they said they'd cover me if things go south. We're inheriting a house in a very nice part of the country. I've met friends through my fiance and managed to make a few of my own, I even got invited to join one of those impossible-to-crack childhood friend groups. My experience in many ways has not been average. I was given a golden ticket and I know and appreciate that.
Even so, the lives of average people here are better than the lives of average people in Canada. Even if I hadn't gotten so much help I would have been able to learn a trade or study. I have 30 days of paid vacation every year and have the proximity to other countries so I can actually use them to travel. You can do even a week in Italy, or Ireland, the Netherlands etc. for the price of a weekend in a neighbouring town in Canada. I did a week in Tuscany for the price of a ski-trip on Whistler or Seymour, which I could see from my apartment. I know other immigrants to Germany who've been able to buy an apartment in smaller towns and go on vacation a couple times a year having started with nothing and done a normal Ausbildung.
I miss Canada sometimes for sure. The nature, my friends, the accessible and open, social culture even in a city like Vancouver which is famously anti-social and inaccessible. And I miss good international food. I hate some aspects of German culture, but lots of them are common throughout the western world. I dunno, I kind of like it here

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POP (point of purchase) display market is anticipated to grow at a considerable CAGR of 6.1% during the forecast period. A point-of-purchase display is a promotional tool placed near the merchandise in retail stores. These displays are typically created by manufacturers and distributed to wholesalers or retailers. They are strategically placed at the location where customers make their purchasing decisions. POP displays can take many forms, ranging from visually appealing labels to intricate configurations. By providing an interactive experience for customers, POP displays can help drive sales while reducing the need for sales staff, which can lower overhead costs. In today's competitive retail environment, companies are investing heavily in product marketing, and POP displays play a significant role in it. Hence, the demand for POP displays is growing.
Get Free Sample link @ https://www.omrglobal.com/request-sample/pop-point-of-purchase-display-market
The global POP display market is segmented by product type, material, and end-user. Based on product type, the market is sub-segmented into countertop displays, floor displays, pallet displays, sidekick displays, end cap displays, and others such as spinner displays and retail signage. Based on material, the market is sub-segmented into corrugated board, plastic, metal, wood, glass, and others, such as foam boards. Based on end-user, the market is sub-segmented into food and beverages, pharmaceuticals, cosmetics and personal care, electronics, automotive, home furnishings, and others such as sports and recreation, and wine and spirits. Among end-users, the food and beverage segment is expected to hold the largest market share. The rise of convenience stores and quick-service restaurants, which rely heavily on POP displays to showcase their products and encourage purchases, is increasing the segment’s growth. Additionally, as consumers increasingly prioritize convenience and time-saving options, point-of-purchase displays are becoming more important for promoting grab-and-go items such as pre-packaged snacks and beverages.
full report of POP (Point of Purchase) Display Market available @ https://www.omrglobal.com/industry-reports/pop-point-of-purchase-display-market
· Market Coverage
· Market number available for – 2023-2029
· Base year- 2022
· Forecast period- 2023-2029
· Segment Covered- By Source, By Product Type, By Applications
· Competitive Landscape- Archer Daniels Midland Co., Ingredion Inc., Kerry Group Plc, Cargill
· Inc., and others
Market Segmentation
Global POP (Point of Purchase) Display Market by Product Type
o Countertop Displays
o Floor Displays
o Pallet Displays
o Sidekick Displays
o End Cap Displays
o Others
Global POP (Point of Purchase) Display Market by Material
o Corrugated Board
o Plastic
o Metal
o Wood
o Glass
o Others
Global POP (Point of Purchase) Display Market by End-User
o Food and Beverages
o Pharmaceuticals
o Cosmetics and Personal Care
o Electronics
o Automotive
o Home Furnishings
o Others
Regional Analysis
o North America
o US
o Canada
o Europe
o UK
o Germany
o Italy
o Spain
o France
o Rest of Europe
o Asia-Pacific
o China
o India
o Japan
o South Korea
o Rest of Asia-Pacific
o Rest of the World
Company Profiles
o Assemblies Unlimited, Inc.
o Classic Acrylics, Inc.
o DS Smith Plc
o Farris Group
o Georgia-Pacific LLC
o Great Northern Corporation
o International Paper
o Jamestown Plastics
o Menasha Packaging Company, LLC
o Pratt Retail Specialties, LLC
o Ravenshoe Group
o Repack Canada
o Smurfit Kappa Group
o Sonoco Products Company
o Spectrum Industries
o WestRock Company
The Report Covers-
​

• Market value data analysis for 2023 and forecast to 2030.
• Annualized market revenues ($ million) for each market segment.
• Country-wise analysis of major geographical regions.
• Key companies operating in the global POP (point of purchase) display market. Based on the availability of data, information related to new product launches and relevant news is also available in the report.
• Analysis of business strategies by identifying the key market segments positioned for strong growth in the future.
• Analysis of market entry and market expansion strategies.
• Competitive strategies by identifying ‘who stands where’ in the market.

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I (f21) have been renting an apartment for nearly 10 months. I’ve had a pretty good experience as far as apartment life goes. In May, my landlord sent me a text saying that they hadn’t received the rent for April. I knew I paid it and I had the receipt that came with the money order I bought. The receipt shows that I bought it on the first of April and someone cashed it on the 6th. I explained that I dropped my money order into the mail slot on their door and that someone had already cashed the money order. My landlord then sent me a number to a detective and said that I needed to report a theft. This all happened in a short span of a day or two. I believe on the second or third day, my landlord made a group chat with all the people who had their rent stolen ( 6 people I think) and sent out a pretty passive aggressive message saying, I’m gonna paraphrase this part but it essentially said, “because you chose to ignore… these payments were stolen.” I’ve been using the drop box to pay my rent for month without ever getting a correction. In the next day or so I found 2 different tenants that also had their rent stolen. One of the days, as my boyfriend and I were outside, a neighbor of ours came out and told us they had their rent stolen. We said we did as well and asked if they got the same nasty message from the land lord, they did as well. The only difference is that my neighbor looked at the lease and in it, it states that people may drop their rent off in the drop box located at the office (the one that people has been putting their rent into already. ) My neighbor highlighted it and sent it to the landlord. Ever since then I haven’t heard a word from my landlord. ***My biggest concern is the tenant that I just talked to today. He’s the 3rd and he’s Deaf. The best part about this is that I’m fluid in sign language. I thought there was a deaf resident here but I never went out of my way to talk with him. Well, I finally decided to, but before we got anywhere he said that he was moving. I carried on but I saw him today and I thought I might as well ask if it was because of the rent being stolen. He immediately said yes. I’m scared that my landlord is taking advantage of him and essentially spooked him to move out, he’s currently loading up a moving van. None of my other neighbors ( all hearing, myself included) are acting in the same manner as him. I know i don’t know his situation entirely but I believe he’s going through the exact same thing me and several other tenants are going through but he’s getting treated differently. Personally I think that my landlord knows they messed up but doesn’t have it in them to admit that THEY were robbed, not the tenants. Being that the lease said where rent could be dropped off,I feel like a breach of security is the landlords problem. It seems like the risk of having a business so I’m assuming they’re the ones who have to file a claim to their insurance. I told the deaf guy about me and the neighbors who had our rent stolen and I told him that if he’s being evicted that he should probably seek legal council about an illegal eviction.
I don’t know what routes I should go down or if there’s some TX agency that I can talk to.

LPI (LP Information)' newest research report, the “Molding Starch Industry Forecast” looks at past sales and reviews total world Molding Starch sales in 2022, providing a comprehensive analysis by region and market sector of projected Molding Starch sales for 2023 through 2029. With Molding Starch sales broken down by region, market sector and sub-sector, this report provides a detailed analysis in US$ millions of the world Molding Starch industry.
This Insight Report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global Molding Starch landscape and highlights key trends related to product segmentation, company formation, revenue, and market share, latest development, and M&A activity. This report also analyzes the strategies of leading global companies with a focus on Molding Starch portfolios and capabilities, market entry strategies, market positions, and geographic footprints, to better understand these firms’ unique position in an accelerating global Molding Starch market.
This Insight Report evaluates the key market trends, drivers, and affecting factors shaping the global outlook for Molding Starch and breaks down the forecast by type, by application, geography, and market size to highlight emerging pockets of opportunity. With a transparent methodology based on hundreds of bottom-up qualitative and quantitative market inputs, this study forecast offers a highly nuanced view of the current state and future trajectory in the global Molding Starch.
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of Molding Starch market by product type, application, key players and key regions and countries.
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The global Molding Starch market size is projected to grow from US$ 12330 million in 2022 to US$ 14640 million in 2029; it is expected to grow at a CAGR of 2.5% from 2023 to 2029.
Global key Molding Starch players cover Archer Daniels Midland, Emsland Group, Tate and Lyle, Tereos Starch and Sweeteners, Evanesce, Smscor and Azelis Holding S.A., etc. In terms of revenue, the global two largest companies occupied for a share nearly % in 2022.
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of Molding Starch market by product type, application, key players and key regions and countries.
Top Manufactures in Global Molding Starch Includes:
Archer Daniels Midland
Emsland Group
Tate and Lyle
Tereos Starch and Sweeteners
Evanesce
Smscor
Azelis Holding S.A.
Market Segment by Type, covers:
Rapidly Digestible Starch
Slowly Digestible Starch
Resistant Starch
Market Segment by Applications, can be divided into:
Jelly
Candy
Others
In addition, this report discusses the key drivers influencing market growth, opportunities, the challenges and the risks faced by key manufacturers and the market as a whole. It also analyzes key emerging trends and their impact on present and future development.
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This story takes place in 2007. My sister and future brother in law had just my nephew and moved into a rental home. The home was newer and located in a newer neighborhood. I was asked to babysit my nephew one evening. My sister and brother in law wanted to have their first evening out since baby arrived and I was happy to babysit.
I came over and my sister went over some details and mentioned that she had a load of baby clothes in dryer. She asked if I had the time to take out the clothes and fold them. They left to enjoy their evening and 30 minutes after I hear the dryer sound letting me know it was done drying. I scooped up my nephew and placed him in his crib. I went to the laundry room and took the clothes out and folded them. I placed all the clothes in a basket and placed the basket on the changing table. I took my sleeping nephew out of the crib and placed him inside his bassinet in the living room. I watched tv quietly for awhile until I heard a loud bang come from the nursery (the room we were in earlier). I peeked into the bassinet and my nephew was still sleeping soundly. I quietly made my way over to see what made the noise and opened the door to the nursery. The laundry basket I had placed on the changing table was now on the other side of the room on the floor upside down. The neatly folded baby clothes looked as though they had been tossed around. I quickly just picked up the basket and clothes and brought them back to the living room to re-fold. I was confused by the whole situation but didn’t want to ruin my sister and brother in laws evening and decided just to not mention the incident. Rest of the evening went smoothly.
A few months went by and my sister asked if I could babysit for an evening. I agreed and this time my mom joined my sister and brother in law as they were going to a casino. My nephew had been napping prior to their departure and my sister said he would need to be fed when he woke up. My nephew woke up thirty minutes after they left and I brought him to the kitchen and placed him in a chair as I prepared his bottle. (Before I go into what happen next, my name is Angelina yet everyone calls me Angie. My mother particularly only used my full name when I was in trouble or angry with me. All in all it’s rare to hear my full name being used.) Suddenly, I hear my mom yelling angrily from what seemed like the nursery “Angelina, come here now”. I yelled out “just a second, I’m in the middle of making the babies bottle”. Then again I hear my mom call out “Angelina COME HERE NOW” but now sounding like she was in the master bedroom. Frustrated and confused I yelled back “What is going on? One second…” I picked up my nephew and went into the master bedroom talking on the way to what I assumed was my mom asking “What was going on? Why are you so upset? What happened?” and walked into an empty room. I looked around and my mother was no where in the master bedroom. I looked in the nursery and empty as well. I looked throughout the rest of the home (guest bedroom, bathroom, and garage) and eventually checked the driveway for cars and only seen my car. I came back inside and called my mom. I said “Hey! Did you guys come back and forget something?” and my mom answered a confused “no…why?” to which I responded “I just heard you a bit ago…you sounded upset?” and she responded “I don’t know what you’re talking about…we’ve been on the road for over 30 minutes now.” My stomach immediately sank. Once again, I didn’t want to ruin their evening and just told her it must have been the television (even though it was off the entire time). After I hung up, the doorbell immediately rang. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest and I quickly walked to the door. I immediately almost opened the door without checking thinking that my mom was just pulling a prank and she was going to be at the door. I paused for a moment and decided to look out the peep hole. No one was outside. I opened the door to peek out to see if there was any cars in the driveway and still seeing my car. I instantly got this overwhelming sense of dread. No one was visibly outside and from where that house was located you could clearly see the street in both directions.
I never mentioned any of these incidents to my sister until she moved out of this rental home. As I was helping her move, I noticed that she had moved my nephews crib into the master bedroom. I asked her why she had moved the crib into her room (more to see if my nephew had any sleep issues). What she told me was completely unexpected. She said around Halloween, she had bought a black light and had plugged it in the nursery room. The room instantly lit up with what she described as a huge concentrated stain in the middle of the room with hand prints going up the walls. She immediately just felt very uncomfortable and moved the crib into her bedroom that night.
I told her what had happened the first time I watched my nephew and she opened up that strange things were happening in the house and was the main reason she was moving. She was experiencing lights flickering in the home, the doorbell ringing and no one was at the front door, and hearing voices. She said the landlord offered to lower the rent if they signed a year lease. She said the landlord told her that he was having issues keeping tenants in the rental and that she was the only tenant who stayed the longest. She refused the offer and moved.
I always wondered if anything happened in that home and wish I did investigate the home further. I absolutely hate that whatever was in that home mimicked my mother’s voice.

So some of you may know that I asked regarding the Anhalt a few days ago. Now I went against all my better judgment and proceeded to actually get the thing using my coupon since I'm clearly deranged (I play secondary IJN BBs in Asia of all servers so I'm pretty much a lost cause tbh).
I'm not that great of a player and my stats have largely been weighed down by my excessively poor internet standards from a couple years back (yes if you ever had that guy who disconnected halfway into the game in 2018-2020 I'm so sorry lmao - Brunei isn't exactly known for great internet).
The Review:
Anyways, I went in with the upmost lowest of standards - and Anhalt really isn't as bad as I thought it was. In around 30 games, I've gotten a decent amount of damage done with both the HE and AP (averaging around 100,000 damage) - and despite the very poor AP pen, the AP does have really decent damage potential - provided you use it sub 13-15km and aim for the deck armor. I expected the salvos to be a lot less accurate - which isn't actually the case with 1.7 sigma and decent dispersion overall. It's very easy to get numerous 6000-9000 damage salvos in this ship in close ranges.
Mid ranges is a different story - you really start to feel that shell speed tank... BUT you also notice that the shells start to arc and plunge a lot more. Impressively despite the low horizontal AP pen of the anhalt guns, her vertical pen (as in plunging fire) is not that bad (it converts into a pretty standard penetration) and get this - compared to the Amagi she actually boasts 20-25m less vertical dispersion at 16km - her horizontal dispersion is atrocious but she has decent sigma at 1.7 and ... well 15 guns. She's like a weird mix of a viribius unitis and the IJN Battleships: high shell count - very high average damage due to shell volume and decent accuracy - but her guns are small and don't have the same potential as say a 410mm cannon breaching the citadel.
The slow shells get some getting used to but if you've used any american BB you'll be right at home. I find myself using a bit of the IJN aiming style - largely aiming for the deck in mid ranges (and above) and waterline at closer ranges. I've actually done a few training room scenarios with the anhalt and I sincerely feel that aiming for the deck at any range above 15km is the way to go, shooting the waterline will be VERY dissapointing in this ship, even against cruisers.
Her HE shells are consistent as well - though very and I mean very lacking in the damage department - but 15 guns and 27% fire chance per shell is very reminescent of a mini Mecklenberg (which for people comparing against - one of them is TX and a steel ship). Her strength in HE is the 88mm pen and very high cumulative fire chance. Also she actually has really competitive firing angles, being able to fire all her guns at around 36* off the bow, there is very little need to go broadside if you decide to brawl in anhalt - just don't do a drive by.
I personally think the biggest overlook with the Anhalt is shared with the techtree british battleships which given the current CV/submarine plague is understandable... It's the concealment. Concealment on BBs is pretty underrated and given that my most played ship is Kii and Fuso, is often underappreciated by myself as well- the conceal lets you get to places that you wouldn't normally (hint: people who've played Roma in uptiered games will understand when you catch a yamato off guard and chunk 28k damage to it). And I will admit pulling successful flanks like this is very gratifying. But as we'll go through the cons later, anhalt may be more accurate than average for how many guns she has but her true lack of appreciable citadel reaching penetration holds her back a lot.
Her armor reminds me a lot of a mix with USSR and KMS structures with very good angled performance and very small superstructure, you want to sequence her frontal 6 guns and expose the back guns to win trades by feathering your rudder as little as possible to expose the least amount of side but also to not lose too much speed. And longer ranges Anhalt boasts a very impressive casemate for her tier at 50mm, you will bounce a lot of AP with your casemate, and at longer ranges you can absolutely shrug off even Yamato calibre shells like no business. You also shatter a lot of HE shells. You unfortunately cannot shatter fire chance - which is why my build below goes fully on the fire/flooding negation, the rudder mod is a personal choice. I've found myself surviving in situations where I clearly wouldn't in any other T8 ship (much like a Vladivostok). With proper angling and awareness, anhalt can drastically limit how much damage she can receive. Huge salvos can easily ricochet on her main belt (especially when kiting) and streaks of HE fizzling on her deck armor is somewhat satisfying - until you eventually get set on fire ofc.
​
CONS
Now the absolute negatives: Anhalt is not an easy ship to play - I would have much preffered a reduction in HP for a better turning radius and rudder shift speed (more akin to Viribius/Vanguard). She decelerates absolutely terribly (is slow to begin with), can't turn well and you basically need to be aware of your ship's orientation at all times because anhalt actually eats citadels very easily on broadside - contrary to every other german BB and the maps at T8 are just a bit too big for anhalt to be comfortable with it's slow speed imho and yes you'll likely be slugging HE at anything past 16km.
Anhalt is also very particular on who you are shooting at - she shares the habits that every 380mm equipped BB would have - but cranks that up to 11 because instead of factoring the main belt on ships - you'll be factoring the deck and upper belt - at least in terms of AP. While this sounds a lot like a skill issue.Tm - it's actually a pretty big negative because other Battleships don't need to do nearly as much work to get damage onto you (remember not only do you need to aim at particular places - you also need to factor that atrocious shell speed). I sincerely believe this is why Anhalt was given a 30 second reload instead of a nerfed reload thats to be expected with BBs that have more than 9 guns - her consistency comes from vomiting out shells as often as possible with decent accuracy - and yes that means your preffered engagement (at least with AP) is on someone's flank and your target having an equally atrocious turning radius. That is an absolute shit ton of conditionals to make her AP work. Thankfully her HE helps in areas where her AP would do nothing though you're very reliant on your fire starting ability rather than the HE alpha.
I addressed that anhalt's conceal is pretty good but this goes against anhalt main battery surprisingly. I kept saying that her main battery was consistent but that is in terms of average damage per game, remember when I said she vomits out shells? For anhalt to push as much damage as she possibly can (since you can't citadel other BBs) she wants to be firing as often as possible - and can't quite play the 'sneak around' and 'one shot' technique against other BBs (still works against cruisers). Anyone who's played the tech tree british BBs will understand this juxtaposition, since the British Short Fuse AP also means that they can't effectively citadel anything but the most exposed of light cruisers, anhalt thankfully doesn't have short fuse AP - but you're about as likely to suffer as many ricochets and shatters instead. And I have to be honest, it is incredibly frustrating fighting battleships in Anhalt - I simply just fire HE above 15km because it's often just not worth the effort personally speaking.
Her torpedo protection is ... sad. Beware of these, you can absolutely bitch slap a destroyer if you're prepared for them at close range (I've dev struck a paolo emilio even) but if you miss - you are gone.
Also learning how to land consistent long range shots while dealing with her poor mobility will take a very long time.
Conclusions
What does this remind you a lot of? Hmmm, perhaps a certain dockyard ship. Perhaps ... Marlborough. Yes I'm aware that the consensus with Marlborough is that she sucks too - but just like Anhalt, Marl has a lot of guns, good concealment, poor AP pen, and good HE salvos. It looks like a ship that's easy to play (and truth be told you can probably just spam HE and get good (not great) results) - but there's a lot more to these guns than meets the eye - in the view of a normal battleship's armament - they suck if only because they can't actually contest with other battleship armor (and that's not even mentioning being uptiered), but WG has actually given you ways to actually reach that conditional: concealment and exceptional HP Pool with decent armor. However compared to every other ship that plays with AP in this style (Vanguard, Monarch, Roma , Viribius) - she handles like a turd - and traded that almost mandatory mobility for armor and a good health pool. Her firing angles are thankfully decent enough that you can actually offset the amount of speed you would lose in order to reveal your aft guns, thus minimizing how much speed you would bleed in closer ranges.
She's a ship with a lot of quirks - her damage potential is actually quite notable purely by shell volume - but where other battleships can contest other battleship citadels within their matchmaking spread, Anhalt instead trades that alpha strike with her rate of fire and (literal) fire support. She's very rugged as well. Just be extremely mindful of torpedoes.
How to Play
Anhalt fits very definitively in the mid game to end game role, where she can aggressively push in and negate her long shell travel times. You will notice that her shell travel time spike at around 13 - 15km onwards and start to transition into plunging fire. You'll need to be aware of this and adjust your aim accordingly. At closer ranges, Anhalt's high health pool, decent main belt and deck armor allows you to duel with other battleships where you'll want to win by sheer DPM and fire starting potential, and can also use AP at these ranges to do very high penetration damage (maybe even a citadel if you know where to aim and who you're shooting). In the early game and against angled targets, you can output so many HE shells that a fire is anything but guaranteed if you can lead well, anhalt sets fires like no other BB at this tier (except maybe Monarch/Richeliu).
As a certain youtuber has said, you need to be good at predicting how your flank will conclude, your slow speed means that you need to be very situationally aware of when to retreat. Conversely this also means you need to know when to put your hull to good use in an attack. Once you commit to either of these - know that you are essentially playing the russian battleship style as you are not nimble enough to change your mind - you have a much better chance of surviving being catastrophically one shot on broadside than any other russian battleship however. Always remember that your concealment can give you ample breathing room and witha bit of luck you can sloooooowly turn away and then go into kiting formation.
I heavily recommend speccing into concealment expert and brisk on this ship, start the game off by seeing your map and your team roster, stay close to your team (3-5km from your nearest allied cruiseBB) for AA support and damage spreading in the early game. When the mid game comes around and there's been a few kills, the map opens up and you can straight line towards a possible flank spot (with brisk Anhalt reached 27.5 knots - the same as North Carolina). It's very easy to mitigate damage in the early game because of Anhalt's deck armor and range, and you can continue to abuse this in pushes come the mid/late game.
I wish you the best of luck for those who got Anhalt via sant crates or actually bought this ship when it released.
WIP citadellable battleships section - AP
Notable T8 and T9 battleships that can be citadelled by anhalt <15km:

• Amagi (<14km underneath her stern guns)
• North Carolina
• Roma (<9km)
• Vanguard (<9km)
• Venetto (<9km)
• Monarch (<11km)

Notable T8 battleships that can be citadelled by anhalt >15km (Anhalt's vertical penetration during plunging fire is ... decent enough to contest with ships with poor deck armor):

• North Carolina
• Amagi
• Monarch

My build: Focusing on anhalts decent **ANGLED** armor and survivability.
Is She Fun?
I'm going to be honest, I'm on the Asia server and Anhalt cannot do a push like Bismarck can with her hydro, she also can't rush down someone like Brandenburg. She's very dependent on support. And with Asia server being the defacto sniping meta - it's very very frustrating trying to get a good lead going with her guns above 16km, I regularly find myself spending a gross amount of time trying to get a good lead on a target. A lead that can be completely neutered if the target is remotely paying attention. However I've actually managed to beat Antlanticos , Bismarck's and other close range brawlers with Anhalt. It's not some close range perfect citadel one shot though, it's a back and forward HE & AP mix up where you can punish an enemy for just being near you. And you can get pretty nice torpedo hits once and a while.
I definitely feel like I'm experiencing a skill issue.TM with Anhalt. It will take many games to learn how to aim well with her. Adjusting to her low speed/handling and how to best approach duels. I mostly make.my damage in the mid/end game when fights start to get closer, but some games never even get to that point - and Anhalt is everything but satisfying until I learn to lead shells that take 17 seconds to land.

Just context, you can skip this long ass read. Tl;dr, everything was okay, for several years of varying stress levels, until it VERY suddenly wasn't. If you can, at least just skim the important bits and advise me on how the fuck to cope with this.
Everything was okay around a month ago. Our situation hasn't been good, but we were handling it and excited for a growth opportunity like we've never had.
She has PTSD, but she's always managed herself well, aside from a brief period years back where some impending doom set in while confronting some of her trauma. She sought out therapy, and even just by the end of her first session she was improving a ton. It wasn't long before she was back to her normal self, but even better for it.
Problem is, we've been under tremendous stress for around two years.
Our rescue macaw passed away from a viral wasting disease, and he was the closest thing we'd had to a child. We had him for most of our ten years together.
We had our (rental) home sold out from under us in the middle of a rental crisis. Basically the only option we had left was to move in with her family 2,400 miles away, onto their ranch. She couldn't continue therapy when we moved.
They were contributors to her childhood traumas, but she was so sure they'd changed and were ready to be the people she needed them to be many years ago.
I was extremely skeptical that the people who hadn't extended a finger to us, let alone a hand, through several years of struggling through a lot of hard shit, suddenly wanted to give us a near-free ride. But I think her sheer optimism for it just made me feel like I was being an awful cynic, so I just shoved it down and bought into her fantasy. For her sake, as I thought at the time. Maybe she was right, after all.
She was wrong, and it went about as well as you'd expect. Honestly probably a lot worse. Her grandmother and father are manipulative, narcissistic assholes, whether or not they realize that's what they are. They bait and switched on us hard, whether they meant to or not.
The picture that was painted was that we'd live in the spare trailer on their property and pay our portion of the taxes and the insurance, and obviously just do our share of stuff like yard work. Maybe occasionally helping out with some cows and fences.
We spent most of our savings to get there, and after a four and a half day U-Haul trip, they started moving us in.. to her grandmother's house. In a tiny spare room. For two (at the time) 26 year old adults, a dog, a cat, and a snake. We had to get a storage unit for the vast majority of our stuff, since we'd had nearly ten years of building a life together in the back of that truck.
That spare trailer stayed empty for the whole year and a half of us being there, by the way.
All the responsibilities were then handed off to us. We were expected to cook the meals for everyone, clean the house, do all the ranch work, fix anything that broke, etc.. Her father and grandmother just sat in bed, collected their retirement/inheritance/disability, and popped their pills.
Then on top of it, we were also expected to pay "half" of the bills, so we had to find employment on top of all the other full-time responsibilities.
We weren't allowed to see the bills, they would just tell us what we owed, but I'll tell you right now that I'd never in twelve years of being out on my own now, in comparably sized homes, paid $800 for a month of electricity. But allegedly the "half" we were expected to pay was $400.
My grandfather passed away, and I soft inherited my grandparents' property. My grandfather and I never had a good relationship, so it was a huge surprise. But with what little we'd managed to save up in that time, it got us off her family's ranch, and it also got us out of the vicious poverty inducing rent cycle, so it seemed like we'd finally gotten a massive break.
Then the housing problems set in.
I've replaced about half of the plumbing myself, because new stuff just kept breaking down all the time.
I wasn't confident doing a new gas water heater myself, so we had to get work to save up for a new one. Until that indeterminate future date, we had to boil water on the stove and shower with a pitcher out of a cooler. We took it in humor as best as we could.
Then our vehicles started breaking down, and became unreliable enough we couldn't leave the small town we're living in. Our savings at that point weren't nearly enough to get new vehicles, or even to get the level of work required done in a shop, and I didn't have the means to do that level of work.
She's been in healthcare (a very desperate field) for her whole working life, and is a fantastic worker, so she found work right away, four minutes from our house.
I sat on Google refreshing the job listing probably forty times per day, looking for anything even marginally close enough that the car could make it to, and I could plausibly continue to find a way to work even if it suddenly couldn't. I've done remote work before and would've been happy to go that route again.. except the best we get here is 7mbps internet, and I couldn't find a single fucking place that would accept that.
We're an equal home. Bills, large purchases that benefit both of us, food, housework, everything except stuff like the vehicle/house maintenance which she wasn't comfortable doing (though even that she was interested in learning). This was killing me to feel like I was leaching off of her, and I know it was really stressing her out being the only source of income.
Then set in the job problems. Put simply, she'd wound up in a very toxic work environment. To make matters worse, one of the people there is almost like a 40 year younger version of her grandmother, whom we'd just escaped.
My S.O. started to lose her identity there, just trying to mask and mirror her way through the social dynamics, which were more like a cliquey high school than a workplace. She felt her job depended on it. Gossip, cruelty, passive aggression, all completely out of character for her, but she felt like she didn't have a choice but to participate in it.
The manager also didn't want to do her own job, and given my S.O.'s glowing experience, resume, and letter of recommendation from her previous job, started putting the job of managing people on her..
But without the title, authority, or pay of a manager. So naturally, nobody gave a shit what she had to say. It still all fell down onto her anyway, and she was treated like shit every time her attempts to lead didn't go as they should've.
But she felt she couldn't leave, because the way she (understandably) saw it, our survival depended on it.
I did finally find work as lower management in a small casino in town, but she never lost that survival mode mindset, and had no interest in quitting despite all the stress it was putting on her.
How we landed here, per the title. This is where my heart breaks down completely. Mostly for her, but quite honestly, also for myself
About three weeks ago, she came home from work one day. She started her normal "today's bullshit at work" vent session, like we've always done for each other every day.. but this was different. First she seemed a bit disconnected, but it quickly devolved into extreme emotional reactions.
All of a sudden she starts talking about how everyone's behavior is changing around her. Suddenly the girls at work were chipper and kind. Everyone was doing their job correctly. She became convinced there was some kind of investigation for a hostile work environment or something happening, and that was causing the change.
It didn't seem totally out of the realm of possibility, especially because they'd just finished berating a transgender coworker out of there. And my S.O. has always been pretty sound of mind (albeit occasionally a little prone to unlikely fantasies of optimism, but I personally love that about her despite what it had just resulted in with her family). I agreed that it did sound like a possibility.
Pretty quick, she started getting squinty-eyed, told me my behavior has been changing too, and started asking me what I knew about the investigation. Caught me completely off guard, and I guess she saw that in my body language, but misread it as me trying to hide something.
She asked me what I was hiding, and at this point I was just massively confused how this went from a normal vent session about work, like we've had for ten years, to an interrogation.
Before I could answer, suddenly she jumps to angrily asking if I'm cheating on her, a look of almost intense hatred in her widened eyes.
Every question just confusing me more in terms of where she's getting any of this from. We have great communication, loyalty, honesty, trust, the whole package. I had no idea what was happening.
She ran to the bedroom and started packing to leave, and I was begging her to slow down and stop so I could catch up on what the fuck was happening. She told me I was in on the investigation but wouldn't tell her anything, and I was cheating on her with one of her coworkers (who has a loose link to my boss at the casino.. small town shit), and that's all she needed to know.
It finally clicked for me that this was some kind of stress breakdown, and I suggested as much. She finally slowed down and thought about it. Suddenly she's calling her sister, who lives in a completely different state a thousand plus miles away, surrounded by ocean. "Do you know anything about an investigation? Have any of the girls from my work contacted you?"
Her sister was also caught off guard, but honestly responded much better than I did, and I'll always feel like my uncoordinated response did damage here. Maybe because they share a lot of the same traumatic experiences, and the diagnosis, so she understood what was happening much more quickly? I'm not sure.
My S.O. backed down, had a good long cry while we cuddled, and it seemed like that was it. She understood that it was some kind of mental snap, and her grip on reality had basically fully returned. She said she didn't think she could go back to work there, and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agreed after what I'd just witnessed. WHOLE. FUCKING. HEARTEDLY. Scared the shit out of me, but after hours of it, I was just glad it was over.
The next day, "I just wish someone would be honest with me. There is FACTUALLY an investigation happening, you all know something about it, and I know you're cheating on me. I need to just get away from everyone." Cue an hours long conversation trying to talk her down again, but this time on my own, because she'd decided her sister "wasn't in the loop enough to see what was going on anyway."
It went on like this for about three weeks. Off and on. All day. All night. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole 30 minutes later. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole.
She started making all these "seeing god in the stars" types of connections. Suddenly everyone on Facebook knew something she didn't now too, evidenced by how these posts they're sharing relate back to it. My family was also allegedly talking about her mental breakdown on Facebook, which meant that I'd told them everything about it and taken away her choice to control that information.
Neither of us were sleeping, eating, drinking, basically neglecting all forms of self care to sit there and hash, rehash, and rehash this out again. I'd guess I was averaging 5 hours of sleep per week, right alongside her, while still having to go to work and pretend everything was fine.
I tried to suggest returning to therapy god knows how many times, or even something in-patient since this was SO much worse than her last episode years back, but initially she was convinced this was me trying to manipulate her. Gaslight her. Convince her she's crazy.
I tried to get her to just think it through, like what evidence does she actually have for any of it beyond her gut feeling? The evidence doesn't exist because we're all smart enough to get rid of it and keep it from her. She just kept repeating that she trusts her body, and that's all she needed.
During one of her moments of clarity, she finally booked a therapy appointment.. but unfortunately not through her old therapist, who had been fantastic with her. She no longer lives here. Instead, she went through that BetterHelp app.
Her first appointment, she starts going into the stuff she needs to get working through, and in response she gets, "Holy smokes!" Yeah. That's it. Holy smokes. To be clear here, this is evidently not a platform for people in crisis, this is a platform for people whose dad yelled at them that one time and it makes them sad to think about, because these people are clearly not equipped for anything more serious than that. What kind of fucking psychology professional responds like that?
Anyway, the therapist also went on to say about the job situation, "I would've quit too." Now, this seems innocent enough when you're dealing with someone who's with it, but my S.O.'s currently fractured mind took that as validation for everything, not just the general toxicity of the work environment like the therapist was speaking to. Again, a psychology professional should've known better. And it was back on full force for a while.
A massive divergence happened a few days after this. I'm not even sure how or why. We had our usual rehashing session, and suddenly.. she just accepted it. She accepted that she's in perpetual fight or flight mode right now, and her mind is looking for any explanation to grasp at, any possible danger imaginable. She just had to trust us, the people who've loved and supported her all along and have no reason to betray her, and keep with the therapy.
For three or four days, she was totally with it. I mean, almost fully back to normal. All apologies for what she put us through, all forgiveness and "just happy to have you back" from us. Then on the final night, she sees that my step mother is Facebook friends with one of her coworkers. And we're back on.
Fast forward to the past few days, and she's become very despondent about the way she's feeling. She's fairly consistently aware that something is happening to her internally, rather than externally with everyone else, basically just seeking regular reassurances that we're being as honest as possible about everything. But her fight or flight just.. Will. Not. Disengage.
We had a conversation about trying another therapist, and she agreed, but she still didn't feel she needed in-patient care. She booked an in person session with one who specializes in behavioral health and trauma.
Then she starts experiencing distortions in her perception. Shadows when she closes her eyes. Rooms appearing smaller than they should. The voice track on TV shows not appearing to line up with actors' lip movements. Just little distortions, but they scared the absolute living shit out of her.
That fear led to some horrific dissociation, where it's like she's losing context on everything. She doesn't know what's happening and feels like nothing is real anymore. Nothing makes sense.
She was still stuck on there being an investigation, but it was evolving. It wasn't her old job being investigated anymore, it was her father for child abuse from when she was young. Then it was us for neglecting our pets (because we don't take our snake out very often and occasionally forget a regular nail trimming for the dog, but they're otherwise very well cared for). Then it was her father again, but for elder abuse, because her grandmother (who insists on managing her own medications) accidentally overdosed one day.
She became even more despondent, frequently breaking out into panic attacks and crying fits, which I just continued to try and help her through. Ice packs, reassurances that she was safe, there was no threat, etc. Truth be told, I was terrified too.
Finally, two days before her appointment, she had a massive panic attack about it being Memorial Day weekend. She couldn't explain why, just that it didn't make sense. She finally says she thinks she needs a hospital, which she's been completely opposed to until this point.
I rushed her to the emergency room, and that was a mess because it was the middle of the night so they couldn't find a bed anywhere in a more appropriate facility that late. They didn't really have any mental health resources themselves, so all they could do was give her some medications to calm her nerves and help her sleep through the night until they could find a bed.
The hospital.. was not good for her either. After a while, she just kept begging me to take her home. She just wanted to sleep together in our own bed, but they'd decided that between the bouts of confusion, paranoia, and admitting that she has had thoughts of suicide in the past, she was a danger to herself and couldn't leave.
They took her phone, leaving her in a blank room, and thanks to her work and the fact the most recent retraumatizing came from a healthcare environment, constantly triggered by the sounds of call lights and such in the emergency room outside.
All I could do was hold her, and keep reminding her that she's safe, and that everyone there just wants to help, but they're just limited in the ways they can until they find a bed somewhere. She just kept repeating that she wasn't actually getting any treatment, and to be fair she basically wasn't, but I just had to keep asking her to hold out a little longer, because they were trying to find her a facility that had the ability to.
They did finally, this morning, but it was about 130 miles away. They let me take her there myself though, which was a huge plus to know we'd get that last bit of time together.
On the way, however, she starts telling me how horrible of a person she is. At one point, she asks if I'm taking her to prison. I asked her what she could possibly go to prison for, and she just says incredibly minor things from the past like downloading a movie, (very rarely) doing this or that drug, etc.
I just kept reassuring her that I'm taking her to a crisis center where they'll be able to help her figure out where this is coming from, and that in no way is she in trouble legally. Everyone involved in this just wants to help her.
It's at this point I realize.. they took her phone. All these little connections she was making via Facebook and such, suddenly unavailable. She'd also decided once and for all that I wasn't the problem. So now all she had left was herself. She was being held at the hospital against her will. The "investigation" was no longer into her work, it was into her, because that's all that was left.
She tells me she's going to go away (to prison) for a long time, but to just know how much she loves me. She wishes we could've just had a simple life together, but she ruined that for us. She was just so sorry. I just kept reassuring her that nothing was ruined, and we can and will still work towards that life together, she just needs help that's beyond what I can provide so we can get back to that.
Then finally, after a long goodbye.. I dropped her off.
The facility is very small (literally a regular house in a regular neighborhood, so only a few patients getting a lot of 1x1 care), and very soft spoken and compassionate staff. Practically everything is optional right down to the daily therapy, which made me really happy to hear given it seems like that should ease her mind on the prison train of thought. She's even allowed to leave for good whenever she wants, with the one caveat being that I or a family member would need to pick her up.
It doesn't have visiting hours though, and I couldn't even go in with her.. that kills me. They don't have HIPAA forms, so just walking through the door is a violation. But she gets to keep her phone at all times with the exception of bedtime, just to make sure she gets some sleep. She told me a bit ago that she's nervous coming into this new environment, but everyone there has been nothing but incredibly welcoming and empathetic towards her.
Not to make this situation about me, because it's so far from it, but my heart is just so broken.
I've never felt anything so horrible. Not even remotely close. I feel like I, myself, need therapy after this.
I'm still so confused. Did I just miss the cracks of this coming on? Or was it really that sudden? I swear I would've noticed her behavior change.
I'm so angry with her toxic fucking coworkers, who it seems like ultimately sent her into this downward spiral. I'm so angry with her family for being.. well, who they are.
I'm so angry with myself for not trying harder to get her to leave that job sooner, just because I didn't want to press the issue since she's her own person and capable of making her own decisions. But I saw the stress it was putting on her. I should've done more.
I'm so scared of what comes next. Will she ever normalize out and heal? If so, when? Days? Weeks? Months? How is this experience going to change her? Admittedly, given we live in the US, how in the fuck are we going to afford this (though as long as she's getting the help she needs, that's far from my primary concern, but still something I have to figure out)?
It feels like my whole world came crashing down around me. She is my person. She's one of the biggest reasons I get out of bed in the morning. My favorite parts of the day are crawling into bed together and waking up to each other, like we've been doing for ten fucking years.
Her absence in our home is utterly suffocating, knowing the hell she's going through while there's practically nothing I can do for her except be there for her when she wants to text or talk on the phone.
I doubt anyone is going to read this whole book I've written here, but just being able to type it all out sequentially like this has been a bit cathartic. But I still just have no idea how to feel. What to do. I'm so lost.