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Broken_Ankle_Club

2021.04.14 17:29 brokenankleclub Broken_Ankle_Club

Here it is folks! The ultimate community for people with broken ankles. Let's get into it! Walking after surgery, ankle hardware removal, what to buy when you break you ankle, scar healing, pain and mobility, muscle atrophy, regaining range of motion, what to eat after ankle surgery, weight-bearing and exercising, how to shower, physical therapy, best shoes to wear, and literally everything in between. Brought to you by the webroken.com creator, and on IG @brokenankleclub
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2013.10.14 00:27 DrLamLam Narcissistic Abuse

This is a safe place for people who suffered, or are currently suffering from narcissistic abuse to seek support, learn, vent, discuss, document their abuse, and come together in their path towards healing. Please read the community guidelines, and show respect and kindness to each other.
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2014.09.29 12:01 paincenterny Sciatica - Symptom of an Underlying Medical Condition

Have you been suffering from regular pain in one side of your buttock, been facing numbness or weakness in lower back that radiates through pelvis and buttocks down to the leg? Does this pain get worse while carrying our normal activities such as sitting, standing, walking, twisting, sneezing or lifting? These all sound like symptoms of Sciatica. Don’t get scared as nearly 40% of people suffer from sciatica pain or irritation of sciatic nerve at some stage in life.
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2023.05.28 15:44 taylor8996 Domestic violence in NC

Me and my husband have been separated and because of harassment issue from him I left to live in another state during the year separation. At the time I left I was in a really bad mental state because of everything that had been happening and under that pressure from him I agreed to give him the house. The house was purchased after we got married but it is completely in my name and my name only. I’m the separation agreement his lawyer states that the papers will not be filed until the divorce is finalized and also that he is not to have any contact with me. He never stopped harassing me with messages and emails and such. Upon moving back we still had contact with each other and even ended up working at the same company. I found out about some more lies he had been telling and we ended up in a physical fight. I filed a restraining order and had him evicted from the home. We have a court date set but my concern is whether or not I can get the house back since he has been evicted. It was my understanding that even though the separation agreement is notarized that I was harassed and mislead. And since coming back home he has continued the harassment . I would love to have my home back but I don’t want to get my hopes up if I’m not getting it. Does anyone have a better idea of what might happen?
submitted by taylor8996 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:39 AshhKalash Fellas, what slings we running?

Stick with the tried & true BFG, or is there a better alternative? Perhaps one of you are making slings? I’d love to support a member from one of our fine 2A communities!
Another question: anyone here running extended charging handles? If so, what’s the best one that won’t fall off? I’m running an Eotech 512 that inhibits me from going over the rifle to charge it, and I have ginormous hands to boot so when I go under the rifle it’s hard for me to get ahold of the handle vs when I could go over the rifle in a clamp-like motion to slam it back like a piece of cake. Wanted the Soviet Arms one because I like the logo, but have not heard good things.
submitted by AshhKalash to AK74 [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:39 SnooCats4777 Do BP allow WPs access to phone?

Do most of the BPs out there allow their WP full access to your phone?
My BP and I have been together for 15 years, married for 13. He has a history of doing shady things on his phone, including sexually messaging my friend and his ex girlfriends, starting within months after we married. He also has a porn addiction. I found out about the messages because I had a gut feeling and looked on his Facebook account and saw the PMs. We ultimately separated for a period of time about 8 years ago because he was coming home wasted at 4am every morning (when he got off work around 12 or 1am) and I wasn’t getting a straight answer about his whereabouts. I found a message he sent to a friend that said how hot the women were that he worked with, that he was going to fuck one of them, that his wife was miserable and wanted to divorce him and he didn’t care. This was the straw that broke the camels back so I left. We ultimately reconciled argued about 60 days with his promise to get sober.
A little over a year ago I had a PA with someone I knew from work. Once I told him, he started reaching out to escorts over a period of months. He led me to believe he was on the path to R and expressed wanting another child. We started actively trying. I found out that during this time he continued to reach out to escorts (including within hours of when he got me pregnant). I have another weird feeling so I look in his phone and see he has escorts stored in his contacts so I look at phone records and see he’s contacted dozens of escorts over the months leading up to this. He ultimately ends up having sex with a stripper then tells me about it. He says he is a porn and sex addict and is obsessed with strippers and once I cheated he decided to act on it.
We both now see CSAT. My CSAT reached out to his so they can compare notes and see how we are progressing and can help one another. My BS said his therapy is the only place he has privacy, that my looking at his phone over the years and in his phone records have completely invaded his privacy and that we probably would have never had any issues in our marriage if it weren’t for that because I never would have known about the things he did and thus wouldn’t have “overreacted.” He also retracted his admission that he’s a sex and porn addict.
Am I unreasonable for thinking we should have more transparency even though I’m the one who had the affair? Do other BS keep their phone open to their WS?
submitted by SnooCats4777 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:38 yanklover Can a UTI cause interstitial cystitis ? I don’t understand my symptoms at all. I get these type of things only after a UTI and It can last months. Help!

Hi everyone
I’m just curious if this is normal. Back a few years ago I was in a lake and swallowed a ton of water that had ecoli and I’m assuming that ecoli went into my bladder as well because I developed a uti the next day. Was on antibiotics and was fine. Nothing happened after for months. I got another uti again less then a year later and after that one no matter what I did, I felt like I had a uti even after the antibiotics when I didn’t actually have a uti. Obviously culture was negative. Symptoms went away after a couple of weeks. Then I recently got a uti again, and after this uti I have that insane bladder fullness and urge to pee all the freakin time. I been working with a urologist and she said she thinks it’s pelvic floor dysfunction because this stuff only happens after a uti infection and will go away after some time. I had a uti 6 weeks ago and one week It feels like I have IC and then my symptoms go away for another week and then come back and go away it’s so strange. The past 6 weeks I’ll have no symptoms for like a week and then the next week I have symptoms. I don’t understand? I tried my first pelvic floor dysfunction therapy and It helped me I think? But I did that Friday and today is Sunday and my symptoms are coming back randomly. I don’t understand! Will this ever stop?! I literally didn’t have any bladder issues for a whole year til I got a UTI again. I hope It goes away?
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2023.05.28 15:38 Budfrompsych I’ve never felt more like giving up

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years. I finally got into a relationship with a woman that helped me get help, she got me to finally start going back to therapy, she was supportive when I was having panic attacks. We were together for about a year and then she left for deployment… about 2 weeks after she left , she tells me she hasn’t been happy in this relationship for a while and wants to end things. I fought for her and tried to talk about what was going on, but she had very clearly already made up her mind.
So now here I am, at the lowest I’ve ever felt a little over a week after the break up. I don’t have any friends or anybody around me to turn to. I no longer have health insurance, so I can’t go talk to my therapist. I feel so incredibly alone and everything feels hopeless. I know that “things will get better” but I don’t know if I have the will to keep going until they do. I’m just so tired, but I know I need help. I just want to quit
submitted by Budfrompsych to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:36 MelasD Amelia: The Level Zero Hero Chapter 132

The Clawed Hands got to work.
Giles could already see Kristen and her team doing their part and engaging with the convoy from the flank. Spells and arrows were being flung across the valley as voices shouted and screamed in the distance. But the soldiers from the Kingdom of Kal could barely put up a fight, even though they outnumbered their opponents.
Because Kristen was A-ranked, just like Giles. And the rest of her team were low B-ranks at most. Even if there were only a handful of them, they were more than enough to deal with the first wave of guards protecting the convoy.
Not that they needed to engage in combat for long. Because they were meant to be a distraction— to lure the main bulk of the soldiers from the convoy away from the armored wagon carrying Guildmaster Evan.
“We just have to watch out for Seth the Battlemage,” Giles said as he hopped off a rock, before sliding down the hill. “He’s an A-rank [Mage]. If you see him, just back off. I’ll handle him.”
Both Sylvie and Jaden followed right behind him. Sylvie seemed to glide on the earth as the ground shifted beneath her feet— a result of her spellcasting. Meanwhile, Jaden ran down as fast as he could… only to trip and tumble all the way down.
Giles paused to stare at the boy as he crashed at the bottom of the valley. Sylvie also came to a halt right next to the leader of the Clawed Hands.
“Are you alright, Jaden?” she called out.
And Jaden groaned as he picked himself up from a small crater on the ground. He dusted himself off as he shook his head.
“I’m fine—” he started.
Only to be interrupted as an arrow flew into the back of his head.
“Take this, you brigand!” a soldier shouted as he loosed another flurry of projectiles at Jaden.
But as the second and third arrow landed on Jaden, the soldier paused. His eyes went wide as one after another, the arrows shattered upon impact.
“What…?”
Jaden stumbled back as he spun around with an annoyed look on his face. “That hurt you asshole!”
He picked up one of the broken arrowheads as the soldier turned to run. But before the soldier could get far, Jaden hurled the broken arrowhead with all his strength. And the broken arrowhead short forward so fast like it had been fired from a crossbow.
The soldier slumped over with a gaping hole in his chest as Giles and Sylvie came to a halt right next to Jaden.
The leader of the Clawed Hands smirked as he nodded at the boy. “Good work.”
That was why Jaden was called the Titanium Brute. Thanks to his Skills, it was like his skin was made of metal. He could tank most attacks by lower-leveled individuals unscathed. Even if he did feel a little bit of pain from them.
“Remember, our target is that armored wagon,” Giles said as he nodded up ahead past a group of running guards.
The convoy was in a panic. And the soldiers escorting it were thrown into disarray. Most of them were distracted by Kristen and her team as they took out guard after guard. Only a handful of them even noticed the trio of mercenaries standing at the other side of the convoy.
A group of soldiers paused as a [Mage] raised a wand and pointed at Giles. They let out a war cry, before charging forward as the [Mage] supported them with a volley of spells. Giles took a step forward as he nodded at Sylvie.
“Do your thing,” he said.
“Right— [Mass Sleep]!” She pointed at the charging soldiers.
She was a [Sorceress]. That meant she was capable of casting rather unusual spells that weren’t typically suited for dueling. But right now, her magic sufficed in distracting the soldiers. That was why she was known as the Diverting Dandelion.
Their movements slowed. They grew sluggish, before collapsing on the ground, completely unconscious. But the [Mage] was still awake. He screamed as he hurled a fireball straight at Giles.
The explosion rocked the ground as Sylvie and Jaden winced. However, Giles was no longer standing there. He appeared right next to the [Mage] with a grin plastered on his face. The [Mage] blinked, before spinning around.
And Giles just shook his head. “Don’t even try— you’ve already lost.”
With that, the [Mage] crumpled silently to the ground as blood spurted out of his chest. Giles twirled his dagger in hand as he looked back up to the armored wagon just up ahead. The convoy was starting to take notice of him. Dozens of soldiers moved to intercept him as he started to sprint forward.
“Sylvie, Jaden!” he called out to his companions. “Distract them!”
“Yes, boss!” they replied in unison as they hurriedly trailed after him.
Despite being a pair of young troublemakers who were normally a pain in the ass to deal with, they were very competent in the battlefield. Sylvie slammed a fist onto the ground, causing a localized tremor that shook the landscape. The group of soldiers stumbled and staggered, only for Jaden to ram into them a moment after.
He tore their numbers apart as Giles leapt into the sky. The leader of the Clawed Hands nodded approvingly at the two of them, taking a moment to survey the battlefield. Everything was going according to plan. Now it was up to him to complete the mission.
The [Daggermaster] tossed his dagger down onto the ground right next to the armored wagon. There was a flash of light. Just like when he had recalled the weapon into his hands. But this time, it wasn’t his dagger that was teleporting. It was him.
Giles appeared right next to his dagger as he shook his head. It was an enchantment on the dagger that allowed him to teleport to it, or to teleport it back to him. It was a powerful artifact. And it had earned him the Title of the Flying Blade.
He raised his head to look at the enchantments protecting the armored wagon. It was not going to be easy to break through. Not with his Skills at the very least. But that was why he came prepared.
He produced a scroll from his side as he nodded. He unfurled it, watching as the runes etched on its surface shone. Giles pointed it at the wagon.
“Dispel M—” he started.
And his eyes flickered as he saw a glint coming from the side. Giles leapt back just in time to avoid a blast of frost. He spun around to face a figure clad in ice. His eyes narrowed as he watched the figure step forward.
“Seth the Battlemage,” Giles said as he twirled his dagger. “So you’ve finally decided to join the fray.”
Seth shook his head, raising his staff as it was wreathed in ice. A broadsword of frost was formed at the very tip— about the size of the Battlemage himself. He slowly drew forward, dragging the weapon behind him.
“Oh? It seems you’ve done your research on who I am…” He tilted his head, peering curiously at Giles. “You’re no ordinary brigand, are you?”
The [Daggermaster] just licked his lips in response. “Perhaps— but it does not matter. Because you die here.”
And with that, Giles lashed out with his dagger. He was fast. He reached the Battlemage in an instant, slicing down with a flash of light. It was a Skill— a piercing attack that could have torn apart even titanium.
But the ice armor Seth wore took the brunt of the attack. He stumbled back, grunting as his ice armor collapsed around him. He hefted the frost broadsword and swung it down at the [Daggermaster].
But Giles deftly deflected the attack as he stepped forward. He thrusted out with a flurry of strikes, and the Battlemage raised the broadsword of frost.
The broadsword of frost began to break apart as the attacks whittled it down. Seth was A-ranked, just like the [Daggermaster]. However, the fact was that he was barely into A-rank, and those few levels separating them made a massive difference.
Giles laughed as he swung out once more. This time, he gripped his dagger with both his hands, and he felt a surge of strength flow through him. He slammed the blade against the frost broadsword— and the ice shattered.
Seth staggered forward as his weapon was destroyed. Giles just kicked the Battlemage back against the armored wagon, before striding forward.
“Come on, is that all you’ve got?” the [Daggermaster] asked. “Did you really think you could beat me with that pathetic display?”
The Battlemage chuckled as he looked weakly back up to Giles. “No— but that was enough to distract you.”
And that made the leader of the Clawed Hands pause. “Distract me…?”
Right as the words left his mouth, a powerful explosion rocked the valley. Giles was thrown back from the shockwave, seeing a pillar of smoke rise into the sky. He steadied himself as his brows snapped together.
“What is that?” he asked as he looked up in horror.
“Did you really think we didn’t expect the Adventurer’s Guild to strike back?” Seth asked, getting to his feet.
The dust and smoke began to clear as Giles swept his gaze over his surroundings. He looked on with narrowed eyes, seeing a massive crater just up ahead. Kristen and her team were lying bloodied at the very edge of the blast zone.
“Kristen…?”
“We expected adventurers— but mercenaries like you?” the Battlemage said as he shook his head. “It makes no difference.”
Giles blinked, before hearing a voice cry out in pain behind him. He spun around, watching as both Jaden flew through the air and crashed right at the [Daggermaster]’s feet.
“Jaden!” Giles called out as he rushed to the boy’s side. “What happened?”
“Sorry, boss,” another voice came in reply. Giles glanced back to see Sylvie stumbling forward, clutching her bleeding shoulder. “But I couldn’t distract her…”
“Distract who?” the [Daggermaster] asked as he took a step forward.
But Sylvie collapsed. Giles blinked. He cast his gaze over the battlefield as the realization settled in. The Clawed Hands were defeated with ease— quickly and swiftly, before he could even notice it.
He took a step back as he gritted his teeth. “We’re the Clawed Hands… we’re elites! We’re specialists at our jobs! How…?”
“Well, maybe you aren’t as good at your job as you think you are,” a burly figure said as he walked past Jaden’s fallen body.
“You’re…?” Giles stared with wide eyes. “Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker?”
The [Daggermaster] recognized the burly man in an instant. He was the one who had been placed in charge of the fortress back in Windrip. An A-rank captain who was renowned for his physical prowess.
Giles shook his head as he exclaimed. “That… makes no sense! You shouldn’t be here!”
“Oh? And what made you think I would stay in that backwater city?” Rokh said with a smug look on his face. “I left my lieutenant in charge of that shit place. I’m never returning back there ever again.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Giles snarled. “You’re abandoning Windrip just to transport a single man out of the city?”
Rokh shook his head. “That man is the reason why we’re here in the first place. Unfortunately, our King had other matters to attend to, so he took his leave. The only reason we took so long to follow after him is because we were waiting for her to arrive.”
Giles narrowed his eyes. “Her? Who is—”
And there was a flash of light. He leapt back as he dodged a black beam that cut the ground open. He frowned, looking up at a black-haired girl as she descended from the sky.
The leader of the Clawed Hands paused as he saw who it was. His eyes widened, and his legs shook. He took a step back as he said her name.
“Eloise the Dark Wizard,” he whispered. “S-rank mercenary— what are you doing here?”
She just smiled at him in response. “I have been hired by the [Hero King] himself to ensure that his cargo is safely transported back to his nation. It is a pleasure to meet you, Giles the Flying Blade.”
“That’s…” Giles hadn’t even known that she had been in the city. If he had known that she’d be involved, he wouldn’t have taken this job. He pursed his lips as she glanced dismissively at Jaden and Sylvie.
“I have heard so much about the Clawed Hands— I was excited to see you in action. But…” She shook her head as she covered her mouth. “I must say, you have been nothing but a disappointment.”
Giles ground his teeth together. “Why would the [Hero King] hire an S-rank mercenary to transport a damn guildmaster? Just what is going on?”
“I do not know why my clients hire me,” Eloise said simply as she took a step forward. “I simply complete my task. I am sure you understand that as much as me. That is why—”
She raised a hand, pointing straight at him as his eyes went round. Her fingers cracked with a black electricity as she spoke simply.
“As much as I would love to continue this conversation, I have to annihilate you.”
“No—” Giles protested.
But a blast of dark lightning shot forward as he opened his mouth. He couldn’t even react in time. He winced, raising his dagger protectively. He knew it wouldn’t save him. He knew he didn’t stand a chance against her.
He closed his eyes, waiting for the searing pain. Giles knew that he was as good as dead. He accepted this outcome. He wanted to get over it as quickly as possible. But… death never came.
Giles blinked as he heard the thundering crackle of the dark lightning come and go. He saw the flash of light flicker and dissipate. He looked down at himself, seeing that he was still in one piece.
And he sighed in relief. “I’m… alive? But how—”
He looked back up to see a figure standing before him. A brown-haired woman dressed in strange clothes. His eyes narrowed as he saw an impossibly torn and tattered cloak blowing with the wind behind her. She held a rusty sword in the air, and Giles couldn’t help but stare at her in awe.
Because she deflected the attack with ease. Even Eloise looked on with a surprised look on her face as the brown-haired woman just lowered her blade. Seth frowned, and Captain Rokh peered at her suspiciously.
“Who are you?” Giles asked with wide eyes.
“I’m Amelia,” the brown-haired woman said simply. “And I’m here to save Evan.”

Author's Notes: Just so you know, book 2 is over on patreon and you can read the start of book 3 if you subscribe now :) You can read up to 15 chapters ahead on my patreon here! Join my discord and subscribe to my subreddit! Or follow me on twitter!
Previous Next Read Ahead on my Patreon
submitted by MelasD to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:36 Unique-Traffic-101 Feeling like a horrible mom

Vent post, encouragement needed.
Background: my kids are now 2.5, 4, and 5.
I'm feeling really down today. Generally I think I'm a fairly good mom. I sometimes yell, but always apologize afterwards when I lose my cool.
Well, yesterday was crazy busy; my husband had to go out of town for work last minute, and I've had a sprained ankle for going on 5 weeks that the doctor recently told me that the only way to heal was to 'stay off of it'. Because that's going to happen. I also had a farmer's market until 2pm; I bake and sell macarons in my 'free time'. Yesterday afternoon was also my son's belt graduation for this martial art that he and I both do (capoeira), which started at 3pm. I found someone to watch the kids during my market, but I was racing all day trying to do everything with no support.
So me and the three kids show up to the belt graduation and lo and behold, it's being held outside right near a crazy busy street, at a food truck market, in the hot sun. I already hate it. Nonetheless, we get set up and I get my kids set up with snacks and water. They eat and are playing around. I had to remind them a couple times to stay farther away the street, but in general they're being safe; we ride bikes together daily and they know not to go into streets.
Then the capoeira teacher asks me to help out with passing out diplomas to the kids, as I sometimes help out in class and am the only other adult who knows all of the students' names. On the inside I'm thinking, like... You're asking the ONLY parent with three kids, also the only parent with any kids under five years, who has a friggin ankle boot on, to help? But I can't say no because community abed pride. (I should've said no.)
We go through the ceremony and it goes fine, my oldest gets his next belt and also an apellido (which is a Portuguese nickname) and we're packing up to leave early because my daughter is getting a headache and there's no shade. So I turn my back on my kids for TWO SECONDS to grab our folding chair so we can go. I turn back and another adult has my two and a half year old and is running towards me, telling me that he was about to run into the street. The busy street. The one that's right there with no fence that I've been worrying about the whole time.
And now I've been up all night, absolutely guilty and terrified and feel like the worst mom in the world. Because the truth is, I DID turn my back. And I should never have stayed and let my kids play that close to a busy street without being able to physically chase them the whole time. And if COURSE I shouldn't trust a two and a half year old. All of that was super clear the minute something scary happened. But I was exhausted and not thinking at my best and all alone and injured and just trying to get everything done.
And if I'm being completely honest, besides the absolutely terrifying and gut wrenchingly impossible-to-comprehend possibility that my two year old could have been injured or killed, there's also the shame of being seen in my community as a horrible mom. Which I hate that I'm even thinking about, because it's so minor as to be nothing in comparison, but also hurts and makes me feel like an awful person. Because at the end of the day, in our society, parenting is performative.
I can't stop going over it again and again in my head, all the mistakes I made and whether my entire life is one big mistake.
Picture is of my two year old smearing mud on my legs last weekend at the creek.
Tl;dr: My 2.5 almost ran into a busy street because I wasn't looking and now I feel awful.
Edited for autocorrect mistakes.
submitted by Unique-Traffic-101 to Parenting [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:36 Zealousideal_Two2120 How are my Chances to get into Top Eco Colleges?

myquals: Bcom A&F from Private University; Ex-Big4 Audit; currently working at an Investment Bank
Hi everyone, 21 currently. I scored 95% in CBSE boards (sans maths); I had maths and I was always terrible at it because I was scared of it. I scored 33 in class 12th so was probably granted some extra marks just so I could pass haha. Thankfully I had 6 subjects in total (Accounts, Buisness, Eco, Maths, English and Physical Ed) so on paper I got 94% (best of 5). Scored 95 in Eco. Enrolled into a private university and did my Bcom there. Placements were terrible but I went offcampus and (was also my batch's gold medalist- the course wasn't rigourous at all) and got a job at a Big4 in Audit. I hated its guts, switched after 1 year and now I'm working at a famous Investment Bank (think Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley) in a middle office role, so it's not all that sexy.
I was always interested in Economics but didn't pursue it because I was scared of the maths in it back in 12th. Now that I'm more grown, I am willing to sit down and face my fear. I want to pursue an MA in Eco from the Top colleges in India and I'm willing to give it time so that I can catch up, having not done Eco in my bachelor's and being absolutely terrible at Maths. I'm willing and wanting to prepare and catch up over the next few years while I continue working at this Bank.
I wanted to ask, how would my profile be for Top Eco Colleges like JNU, ISI, DSE etc? Will my work experience make up for my academic performance? I'm not sure what I want to do after the degree but I like the option that I can continue being in the corporate world or choose academia but I know I'll have to take it slow. For now I just want to focus on getting into a good college by reintroducing myself to the subject.
How do I get started with Maths? How to reintroduce myself to it as an adult? And how can I get back in touch with eco, enough to clear CUET, JNUEE etc? Like I said, I'm willing to give it a few years, I'm in no hurry.
And btw, if anyone wants referrals to the company I work at, I'm willing to help. In that case, PLEASE just DM me and refrain from commenting. Thanks for reading it you made it all the way!
submitted by Zealousideal_Two2120 to Indian_Academia [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:35 PartyQuietboy My parents ruined my life and now it's too late.

Mentions of: addiction, mental illness, self harm.
I had a rough childhood in almost every aspect, growing up was hard.. right from the start I was having trouble excelling in school. I flunked my first year of kindergarten, and then I had to repeat the 8th grade. It was a miracle every time that I somehow made it through. I paid attention and studied hard, but there was just something that wasn't right and I didn't understand. My parents boiled it down to me not paying attention and I would just cry because I knew that wasn't the case.. trying to talk back and have an actual conversation with my parents was impossible though.. I'd get a smack to the face from my mother, and don't let it be my father I was talking back to! He'd beat me until another tear wasn't able to fall.. my father was an alcoholic and always kept the cupboards packed with booze, when I was 14 I snuck some for myself to just see what was so good about it, and I thought it'd be a fun experience.. I was already dealing with tons of anxiety and self loathing at this age, I felt like a fucking failure and after that first night of trying alcohol- I found my cope. I started getting drunk alone in my room when my parents would go to bed at least 4-5 nights out of the week.. I was scared of being caught , but I thought that my father was getting too drunk every night to realize whether or not he drank the alcohol that was missing, I was right.
prioritizing drinking over my school work caused my grades to flunk further, by the time I made it into the 10th grade I was 18, still struggling and holding on by a thread. Literally all I could think about was getting home and drinking my problems away. I dropped out of school because it was getting increasingly harder, making friends was easy for me as a kid, but when I entered my teenage years, it's like my personality left and I felt/still feel like a walking mental illness.. I didn't know how to be happy or have fun anymore, my only idea of fun was drinking, which I did alone. After dropping out, I stayed at home most days, jacking off during the day to pass time, I was always ready for it to be night time.. I knew I was addicted, but I didn't care. Dropping out of school was the biggest mistake ever, for the next year and half that's literally all I did, drink and masturbate. My dad was still very emotionally abusive, but he didn't physically abuse me anymore.. I think because I reached his height and level of strength at that point. They harassed me about getting a job everyday and told me I needed therapy, and that they'd pay for it. I refused and all of this just led to more resentment, how are you going to offer help for what caused? I struggled with symptoms of OCD growing up, it was basically just the kind that my mind would get set on a situation and I'd end up overthinking it.. these thoughts came from a place of concern, but then I started to suffer from very very frightening intrusive thoughts- everyday my mind was plagued with the thought of killing my parents, especially my dad. The fact that my father had guns locked up in the house made these thoughts even scarier for me. I thought at one point I was going to actually end up doing it- it felt like my real self was watered down and that some kind of evil lived in me and I felt like I was barely in control of my own body. I used to stare at the guns/knives in the kitchen and just try to actually think about what it would be like.. by doing this, I thought it would scare me out of having these thoughts, but they only grew stronger.. because of this, I started to abuse alcohol even more, sleeping more hrs of the day and would go for walks randomly to put myself at a distance to protect my parents from my own self.. my family has never been been the religious kind, but I would just pray at night and ask God to take these thoughts away or at least let me die in my sleep. Suicidal thoughts never stayed with me long, I wanted to die, but I was too weak to do it myself. Every cope that I had worked somewhat, but I needed something more, I started to cut myself on my arms/thighs/and chest and it made living a bit easier. The thoughts still continued to grow and I had no options, I was either going to end up commiting a crime so evil, or accept help from my parents.. so I did.
I started to attend one therapy session a week until my therapist suggested I started seeing him twice a week.. I told him about my sick obsessive thoughts, how I've been drinking since I was 14, the self harming, and how I struggled in school.. that topic kinda stayed on the back burner for like 3 months because I was dealing with much scarier stuff at the time. I ended up getting an official diagnosis for depression, OCD and ADHD.. which probably explains a lot for why I struggled in school so much. I was prescribed Zoloft but due to his knowing of my struggles with alcohol, I wasn't able to get a narcotic for my ADHD. my OCD started to simmer down some l, but the thought still stayed in the back of my head always and was overwhelming. I was able to get a job in a factory, working in an environment like this was terrible.. I tried to avoid talking to others because I never wanted there to be a potential conflict, I was scared that if that happened I would end up being plagued with the thoughts of hurting others, it happened from time to time.. but those thoughts wore off, my thought of hurting my parents is still with me to this day. I continued to work up until I could get my own place, it was a crappy apartment, but at least being there kept me in distance from my parents, the only time I went over to visit was when I wanted to steal some alcohol.. which was often.
I had gotten a hold on the self harming, well besides drinking.. I was almost 20 at this point and then me and my therapist started to speak more about how about how I struggled in school.. how it was the spark for me falling into addiction. I then was diagnosed with dyscalculia and dysgraphia.. everything started to make sense now, I finally knew why I struggled so badly in school and now it was too late.. I never received any help, you'd think that someone in the school system would have suggested help- but no.. it was just brushed off as laziness. And the only response I got from bad grades, is a beating. After that diagnosis I started to self harm again, I was cutting almost everyday. This made my resentment grow for my parents, to the point of hatred for the both of them, especially my father.. my mother was abusive too, and I was definitely neglected as a child, but I blame my father even more.. this led me back to having the same thoughts and they were stronger than ever. I stopped going over there and eventually was able to buy alcohol from a gas station that didn't bother to ID.. I had so much built up anger and I had to take it out on someone or something.. every time I would get drunk, I'd end up punching more and more holes in my wall.. I'm afraid to move because I know I'd be sued out the ass. It's now been another year, im 21 and haven't spoken to my parents in like 7 months for the sake of their own safety.. I can't make friends, have a girlfriend, or even have a pet because I'm insanely afraid of what I could do in moments of rage.. besides the meds, I stopped going to therapy because I wasn't really getting anywhere. I feel like a lost cause and I really don't know what to do. What's there to work with? I have no intelligence, I'm severally mentally ill, realistically, I'll probably stay working a dead end job until I die alone of liver failure or something. I know this post was long, so if you read all of this, thank you.
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2023.05.28 15:25 Puzzleheaded-Tree217 [AL] Unable to perform duties due to injury

I am a sales person who works for a beverage distributor and at one of my accounts I am required to stock my product which is quite labor intensive. I have back issues that have become much worse over time and due to the physical pain this causes I am no longer willing to perform this duty. Should I go to HR? In the past I would have gone to my sales manager, but my company is doing a reorganization and the district manager who I directly report to is not very helpful. Do I have any options here that do not require me quitting? I have gone to multiple doctors, all who basically have told me to find a new job because my issue is only worsening and becoming more expensive (epidurals, PT). I have worked for my company for 5 years and the pain is getting to be overwhelming. Thanks for any advice!
submitted by Puzzleheaded-Tree217 to AskHR [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:25 Ryan19970501 Seeking advice for my 160lb tripawd

Hi there!
I am 26 year old guy with a St Bernard named Wilson, who is a recent Tripawd. He had arm cancer and lost his left arm. He was in the hospital for two or so weeks getting physical therapy. At home, although its only his second day, he's become very lazy and often refuses to walk. We still have to hold him up to poo and all :/. Although, when someones at the door or when he really needs to he can get up and walk to the door...
My dilemma is he's a family dog and my parents got him. However, he has althritis in his back legs and my mom has back issues from surgeries. My dad is also very impatient and has severe ADHD. I'm curious what you would do in my situation. Do any of you have a furr baby that is big or is a st bernard too? I really fear the worst.
We are in Greenlawn, NY. Long Island. But most resources for at home physical therapy seem to be in Manhattan. What tools should I get my parents to take care of him, we already have ramps and pee pads. Any advice is ~very~ appreciated!
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2023.05.28 15:22 5hel8y Motion sensor for existing lights at inside entrance

When you enter my house there is a light by the door, however there is no switch there to operate it. There are two inconveniently located switches: one at the bottom of one set of stairs going down from the entrance and one at the top of another set of stairs going upstairs. So any time somebody wants to use that light at night they need to switch it on at whichever staircase they are closer to, put on their shoes at the door, then have to go back up/down the stairs to turn it back off (leaving them again in the dark).
I'd like to see if I can get the light there connected to a motion sensor. At the same time, there is lots of light there during the day, so would be great if it could be set so it didn't turn on at all if there was enough light. So then any time somebody goes to the door when it is dark, the light would turn on.
I have non-smart bulbs in the light now, but would switch them to smart ones to get this to work. Also it would be great if the sensor was plug in instead of battery powered (not a necessity) as I have an unused outlet right at the entrance.
Are there any products somebody can recommend to make this work? Thanks
submitted by 5hel8y to smarthome [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:22 Obesity-Won-Kenobi Nature of Abandonment (2/?)

I'm on a roll right now~!
Enjoy seeing a pissed off Meier... (Please don't hate me for it)
Memory Transcription Subject: Isif, Chief Hunter of the Arxur Dominion Sector Fleet
Date [Standardized human time] October 18, 2136
I didn’t understand how no Arxur could at least not feel a little bad… surely there wouldn’t be an Arxur who would scoff at this tragedy as weakness… These poor humans had to suffer so much at the hands of the Federation… Those cowardly fucks…
It was a bit after the battle started that we detected the antimatter dropping on earth from our spy station… there was too much of it, it was nothing less than concerning for a planet to face the impacts of so many bombs of such high magnitude… I arrived as soon as I could with my fleet, and I gave all those Federation fucks what they deserved and blasted all of them down to the darkest pits of hell… The extermination fleet was decimated but their life pods were sent down across the planet's surface…
I knew of the human’s general opinion of my kind; they saw me as a demon in the physical realm coming to devour all life… It’s not like I enjoyed that aspect of myself, but we don’t have any other choice. It’s not like we asked the Federation to come down and blast all of our livestock away…
Despite their disdain for me, I was requested by the UN headquarters to send troops down to all the Federation lifeboats far from their immediate reach. I found that surprising… but then again, I doubt after everything that Krakotl’s fleet did, they didn’t want any federation upon their world…
I sent down attack squads to all of the lifeboat locations that the humans would take too long to reach. Along with that, I ordered all other available forces to go down to all destroyed human cities…
All 400 of them…
I knew not of the current situation on earth… but from the initial reports? At least 4.5 billion people died yesterday… I know that the losses on such a massive scale would shatter the mind of any sane individual, and it definitely did so for the humans… so much of, no, the entire population of earth is calling for vengeance… It makes sense, to lose nearly half of their population to these filthy vermin… Their rage will make them strong, and the federation will face the might of both Dominion, and the UN… At least, that's what I think will happen.
I hope; We could really use the assistance with dealing with the Federation, we really could use their lab grown meat as well. For so long we’ve been scrounging for scrapes from federation colonies and undefended worlds, to finally stop needing such petty raids to survive, we could focus our military might to crush the prey once and for all… but the question is, will they help a monster that they still so hate?
Maybe…
All I could think of as I stared out the window of this Hotel on Titan was whether or not the meeting, I requested with their secretary General would bear fruit for the both of us… It’s us against them after all, shurely the humans wouldn’t be so stubborn to refuse us as an ally… especially since those Venlil cowards ran off from the battle to save their own sorry hides… that’s what you get for relying on prey to defend you.
I heard the door open behind me, I turned around with a smile on my face, “Ah! Secretary General Mei-” ... my words were cut short as I saw the look in his eyes… That look filled me with a strange sense of concern and unnerving… I didn’t know as to why I felt that I could no doubt take him in a fi-, no… he’s not mad at me, I can see the rage boiling within him, but it wasn’t directed towards me, no… For some reason I feel the rage continue to build… pooling into him to the point he should have bursted by now… He looked at me for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, ceasing the opportunity to sit on the chair opposite of him, now highly uncomfortable as I was exposed to this feeling… I felt vulnerable and I didn’t like it…
“Why did you call me?” His voice was colder than the vacuum that surrounded this moon.
I cleared my throat before speaking, “Apologies for the sudden request for this meeting Meier, but I was wondering as to the possibility of allying toge-”
“Done”, he responded almost immediately.
I was taken off guard by the rudeness of his response. It was surprising to see this human, who hated me so, be so quick to agree. Even with the desperation that is present within the collective human psyche. I just had to ask…
“Really? I thought you would surely speak out; I thought you hated the Dominion.”
Meier seemed to adopt less of such a cold disposition towards me as he spoke, “Oh don’t get me wrong, I utterly despise you Arxur for what you do, but after all that happened to us' '... He held his hands together as he leaned forward. “We’re willing to look past that… just so long as certain terms are met…”.
I leaned forward to listen to the human’s terms of allegiance. Meier spoke with a bitter seriousness, “We need to utilize one of your mobile shipyards to build shuttles for our people… Infrastructure was shot to high heaven by those Bird-brained bastards, and we need to get food to reach our people in more desolate and forgone regions… I'm not going to let so many of my people starve… we need many shuttles to make that happen, so we intend to use your mobile shipyard for that as we use our current shipyards for war production. Secondly, I would like your fleet to be stationed in a defensive position around Sol until we build up the necessary defenses to where your services are no longer needed.
“In payment for your services, we will provide you with the plans to build a vat for lab grown meat, and 100,000 bovines for you to farm and use in meat vats…” My Jaw dropped at the offer, they were going to give me exactly what I wanted and needed for the Dominion? Just moving in for long enough? This is-!...
“You got yourself a real human! I’ll make sure I have all my mobile shipyards here for your services… as a sort of sorry for scaring away the Zurulians…”
“That will be an acceptable apology… those Zurulians, to think they would simply leave after direct orders from Chauson to assist in recovery…”
I decided to joke about the fact, “Well? You know those feds… always running away from a figh-” I stopped just before I completed my sentence when I saw the wrathful 10-thousand-yard stare that Meier was giving me…
I should not have said that… I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT!
He spoke up, and what he said sent a shiver up my spine with the coldness in his voice. The coldness of a man who got stabbed in the back in more ways than one, “Soon enough… soon… enough… Xeno. Delenda. Est.” That phrase… oh that phrase…oh how I wished the translator was deactivated...
The Federation has just awoken a monster…
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Prev: Nature of Abandonment (1/?) : NatureofPredators (reddit.com)
Next: (When it's ready)
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2023.05.28 15:22 novadesolate I miss my best friend

Sorry if the formatting is weird I’m on mobile. I (21m) lost my high school best friend (21m) 8 months ago in a gruesome car accident, we had been estranged for 3 years because of high school drama that now feels dumb, but I had wanted to get back in contact with him since I had felt we had grown enough as people to reconnect and continue our friendship. The news of his death shocked me and I couldn’t believe it at first. I cried for weeks and even to this day I’ll tear up when I drive by his house, remember the things we would do, or see someone wearing jorts (he loved wearing jorts). A couple days after his death I had learned from friends that had still kept in contact with him that even in the time we were estranged he still called me his best friend, this made me feel worse and filled me guilt for not reaching out sooner when he was still alive. I went to his funeral to gain some kind of closure but if anything I feel like that made it worse, he had an open casket funeral and you could see that part of his face was bruised from the accident despite being covered in makeup. I cried silently as I said goodbye to him. I learned at the funeral that 6 months before he passed his father had also died and it pained me that I wasn’t there to help him or to support him through that loss. I don’t regret going to the funeral but I feel like my mental health really worsened after the funeral. A week after his funeral I started having dreams about him. These dreams are very vivid and feel incredibly real, I won’t go into explicit detail about the dreams because I cherish them dearly and I would like to keep them private but in my dreams it’s as if he hadn’t died and we’re hanging out liked we used to, I wake up from these dreams and I immediately start to cry, these dreams have persisted for months although they’ve gotten less frequent they still have me crying whenever I dream of him. Sometimes I’ll have nightmares that we’re both in a car accident and I watch him die infront of me not being able to do anything to save him, these are the worst. His birthday is coming up soon and it reminds me of the times he used to tease me for being older than me(by 4 months) and now I’ll always be older than him. I wish I could go back in time and tell him how much he meant to me and be his friend again. I don’t know how to live with this guilt or if I’ll ever stop feeling this horrible. I don’t know how to deal with this loss or if I even have the right to mourn him since I never got back in touch with him. I miss him so much. While I am in the process of getting into therapy it’s taking a while so I thought that posting here would be a healthy way of working through some emotions. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read through this I just really needed to let this out.
submitted by novadesolate to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:21 yumppi My life is stuck, I live alone for years without a friends. I have never had friends

Sorry this text is long.
It didn't start yesterday and it lasted almost a lifetime. I've always lived like this and I don't know how to change anything.
I'm 19 years old and don't have any friends (the exception is online friends I've known for 5 years but never seen). If I have free time, I either sit at home or walk alone. I am not and have never been addicted to computer games. I never socialized or hung out so I don't like alcohol.
Let's start with the fact that I was diagnosed with signs of autism as a child. I don't remember well my childhood before school, but I definitely remember that I didn't really walk in the yard and didn't play football and other team games. I spent more time with my parents. My mother told me that I didn't like to play in the sandbox with other children and would withdraw from them.
In elementary school I was very active, I talked a lot with my classmates. I really wanted to be friends with one boy who was interested in football and sports in general. I thought he considered me his friend, but I was wrong. I annoyed him and he told me several times to get the f... off of him. I spent my free time with my family, I didn’t go out with other guys, but I was so happy, we had a happy family.
At the end of elementary school, I began to fear physical education lessons. We played football, basketball, volleyball and so on, but I didn’t know how to play, I just didn’t play with anyone before. I already read the rules, but the fear didn't finish.
After elementary school, I moved to a new team in secondary. I lost my old classmates. Most of my new classmates were just bastards - they liked bullying and constant insults. They didn't bully me, I was recognized by them all as a strange, quiet and innocent boy.
The worst of this time for me is PE lessons. My teacher was a rude young man +/- 30 years old who would scream if this dumb didn't like something. I was afraid to go to the physical education lessons because we constantly played soccer. I was scared of my classmates' anger. I read the rules, but it did not help me at the time. I was so afraid to go to physical education that I deliberately "forgot" the uniform, and when I came to the lesson, I said to the teacher: "Oops, I'm sorry, I forgot the uniform, I can't study today." Day X came when I was finally forced to play. I was 11 years old, we played at the lesson together with 13-year-olds. By that time I had read the rules, but I still didn’t understand and was confused. I ended up getting insults for the rest of the day: "Fucking idiot!", "Imbecile as a fuck!". It fear didn't end until my 17th birthday, when I graduated from secondary vocational education. I skipped physical education and was scared to participate. There was a boy in middle school that I talked to, but he didn't consider me a friend. Sometimes he yelled at me and said in a rude way to get me to fuck off him. He had his friends whom he invited to his birthday and with whom he spent time, but he did not even remember me.
At the age of 14, I met a guy on the Internet who was the same age as me. He was from another city in my country. We never saw each other. I considered him a friend. But apparently he realized that I was patient and over time began to insult me, saying that I was a bastard and a terrible friend (for absolutely no reason) and constantly banned me. Once he said that he was tired of me and that he would demand 1000 Russian rubles (about $10) for an hour of communication, but I didn't agree, of course. He was my only friend, so I sometimes begged him to come back. After a while, I realized that he was rubbish and I forgot about his existence. Later it turned out that he was discussing me behind my back. I have drawn conclusions and I will not tolerate bastards like him.
At the age of 16, I began to receive a secondary vocational education. I really liked my college. We had a very large and friendly team. Everyone had friends. I had many hopes. But nothing happened. I didn't have any friends. I was always alone. It was hard for me. I had stress. I felt less and less like going to college and more and more time at home. A year later, I realized that maybe I don’t need friends and that I feel so good alone. And I became calmer. I liked going to college now. Everyone became like family to me, even though I didn’t communicate with them.
I completed my secondary vocational education, received a diploma, my family and I emigrated. I really like the new country. I had a group of friends for about two months, for the first time I stayed until the morning, drinking alcohol, although I did not like it. I drank beer because everyone drank it and I didn't want to seem strange to them. I do not like anything from alcohol, the taste seems disgusting to me. It doesn't matter if it's wine, vodka or beer. We hung out about 5 times, after which our group of friends broke up.
I don't want to self-diagnose, I'm not a doctor, but I think I have developed OCD – last 2 months I have intrusive thoughts that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid that I might harm someone, so now I don't want to go outside. Last week I talked to my mother and had the first session with a beekeeper and I felt much calmer.
I am constantly alone, I walk alone or sit at home, I have no one and I do not know what to change. I live like this all my life.
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2023.05.28 15:20 Pisidan I'm s failure in life

My life the last year had been hell. I've been fighting mental health issues most of my life but it's the worse it's ever been. I've tried to take my life 3 times all unsuccessful. I'm such a failure I can't even kill myself. It started in August. My wife left me, Because of my mental health she was the main money maker n in on disability. I slept in my car for a week until I found a room to rent since I don't get enough for my own place and it all goes down hill. My kids stop talking to me n block me on every thing n I have no idea why. I have physical disabilities that make it hard to work on top of the mental but I'm trying. I'm in physical pain always humid n wet days make it so much worse. I eat seldom because most of the money I get goes to rent. I have no family, no friends nothing. I'm beyond poor, lost my car most of the possessions no future outlooks except my disabilities getting worse and have been told eventually I'll lose the use of my legs and my hands are starting. I grew up poor and struggled to get out of it. I finally did than all these ailments happened but it's ok because I have a loving spouse who I supported for decades. Now after she is set up n great job she leaves me. I have never felt such betrayal n hopelessness. I'm right back to where I was as a teen poor n no future. I failed as a husband, a father my career and I've lost everything. I'm even a failure at suicide. I just wish I could go to sleep n not wake up.. I'm looking into maid but knowing my luck I won't get approved. I just want all this suffering to end. I have no purpose anymore. I just exist n it's not enough
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2023.05.28 15:20 ThrowRA-Zebra4665 I (44f) don't know if I'm being too sensitive, or if my partner's (45m) interactions with me are unhealthy.

Sometimes I think that I'd like to leave the relationship because I don't feel treated well and spend a ton of emotional energy defending myself. However, I feel like I'm always the one bringing up the issues (it makes me feel too critical) so I don't know if my expectations are too high. My parents are failures in the relationship area so I have no point of reference.
Throwaway account. My (44f) partner (45m) and I were married, we divorced, and got back together 7 years ago. We have a 12yo together and I have 3 adult children that he helped raise.
What's hard for me is even the smallest interactions feel shitty. I walk on eggshells a lot, but I don't know if I'm too sensitive or if this is something that is on him (I've tried, and he's definitely less rude to me than he used to be). I don't know what to do..we've had a fair amount of couples therapy (which is unbelievably exhausting) but this never seems to change.
Here's today's interaction as he leaves to see his family with our son as an example:
Him: We're going to the rapids this week.
Me: I don't know what the rapids are.
Him: rapids
Me: I still don't know
Him: just stares at me for 5 seconds in silence with a look on his face. "Rapids. (Slowly) R-a-p-i-d-s. Water. The river. Tubes.
Me: oh, okay.
He walks away.
(Context: they've never done that before, and we've never done it, so I wouldn't have even considered that tubing was what he was referring to).
Another example:
We discussed him getting therapy for himself too. He hadn't done anything about it since agreeing to it (again) in January. Yesterday in an argument I said that he still hasn't gotten therapy to help improve himself and he said, "OH, so are you allowing me to go to therapy alone?" This took me by surprise, as I've always been the one begging/pushing for him to. (He went last year for a few sessions but stopped because the therapist was insistent that he had narcissistic personality disorder.)
So, in January he said that he was going to see our couples therapist by himself. I said, "I'm a little uncomfortable that he's seen you twice alone and not me alone at all." (I said this because I thought that he was saying to me that he was going to start seeing our couples therapist as his primary too, and I could be totally wrong but I thought couples and individual should be different therapists). He said, "No, it's for him and I to talk about what I should do and for him to give me recommendations on a therapist." I said, "Gotcha. Make sure to check to see if he's in network with my new insurance." That was the extent of the convo (it's in text as I was traveling). That turned into him accusing me yesterday of not allowing him to go to that therapy appointment alone, and that's why he hasn't. That my "gotcha" wasn't a clear approval, and I obviously disapproved of that appointment. He still stands by this.
Yesterday he also said that I said two different things to him in the argument (I explained it two different ways after he got angry at what I said the first way and I tried to clarify) and he laughed and said that I'm gaslighting him.
The above examples are all what I'd call very typical.
I feel like I don't understand what this dynamic is and how I should approach things.
Eta: We are both educated and successful in our careers and work full time. I don't have a hearing disorder and do not have a difficult time communicating (referring to him spelling the word out for me)
submitted by ThrowRA-Zebra4665 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:18 Fit_Sherbert3829 Diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder should be a bit more broad.

People with Broad Autism Phenotype should also benefit form therapy and services that people with ASD get, but that is only if they really need it. But, I want to start this conversation, because the topic could get more interesting, as I provided some sources that proofs Eikonabridge's point and my point.
Credit goes to Eikonabridge. https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=380673
There are concerns that the diagnostic criteria for ASD is already too broad, but the neurologically developed people defiantly hold the maturity.
It's desirable, because Broad Autism Phenotype describes an wider range of individuals who exhibit problems with personality, language, and social-behavioral characteristics at a level that is considered to be higher than average but lower than is diagnosable with autism *Some parts that I copied belongs to Very Well Health.
People who with wider range of individuals who exhibit problems with personality, language, and social-behavioral characteristics are considered to have some kind of developmental delay, and it's closely related to mild PDD-NOS. It's in the context of some kind of rare Pervasive Developmental Disorder or even undiagnosed Atypical Autism.
Sources:
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-the-broad-autism-phenotype-260048
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/24750573.2017.1379714
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/even-baby-sibs-without-autism-show-delays-in-first-yea
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3989934/
Here is what PDD-NOS means from DSM-4:
This category should be used when there is a severe and pervasive impairment in the development of reciprocal social interaction or verbal and nonverbal communication skills, or when stereotyped behavior, interests, and activities are present, but the criteria are not met for a specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, or Avoidant Personality Disorder. For example, this category includes "atypical autism"—presentations that do not meet the criteria for Autistic Disorder because of late age at onset, atypical symptomatology, or subthreshold symptomatology, or all of these.
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=405794&p=9030910#p9030910
The only difference is that you don't need to have severe communication impermanent as a diagnostic criteria for ASD.
In fact, you can have milder form of ASD, and have neurotypical traits on time.
All you need is to meet during developmental stages are:
(Not everyone with ASD will have the same symptoms)
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):
  1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
  2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).
  3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
  4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
Criteria A should be reserved when symptoms of ASD is more severe:
A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):
  1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.
  2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.
  3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for ex-ample, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.
There should be some changes in the diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder.
submitted by Fit_Sherbert3829 to autism [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:15 shortyafter A Celebration of Life.

People settle. I obviously can't say that about everyone, some people don't, and I like to believe that most people are doing the best that they can. But I think most people live life half-heartedly. Just going through the motions. Reading through the "script", saying their lines, until the curtain draws. It's no wonder that society is so miserable (ie: depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, mass murder, etc.)
The thing is, at the end of the day, to live this way is a choice. It's true that the information is scarce, nobody is taught to respect life from a young age. School doesn't teach it. Parents don't teach it because they don't know it. Society doesn't teach it. The mental health field doesn't teach it. Religion most certainly doesn't teach it. It's almost entirely absent from all domains: secular and religious, public and private. That means a young human being must go in search of it.
I suppose, in part, that's healthy. If there were no search involved, it wouldn't be authentic. Every single one of us must make peace with life on our own, there's no getting around it, unless you decide not to make peace with it at all (and die by suicide, whether the overt one or the more common slow 'rot til you die' approach). On the other hand, though, it's reflective of the fact that our society is so fearful. This is why I cannot take the whole mental health / therapy / psychology field seriously: none of them talk about the simple fact that we are all facing an existential crisis - a crisis about what it means to be alive. The problem is not mental, it's spiritual, and it's about our views on life and how we relate to the world. The society would rather live in ignorance and pretend these questions don't exist rather than confront them. Because to confront them can be very terrifying. The truth about life is not comfortable.
In short, the information is scarce. But even so, it is still a choice to to live this way at the end of the day. There's the old proverb (I have no idea from where) that says "when the student is ready, the master appears". That's because, at the end of the day the biggest block isn't the scarcity of the information, it's our own resistance to the truth. Once you are ready to open your eyes, surely you'll start finding things that resonate. And that's the thing: the external information only serves as confirmation for what you already knew to be true inside of you. I think we all know these deeper truths on some level, that's why people will go to war and kill and die for their beliefs - it's the ultimate form of "compensating" for something, something which they know to be false.
It's odd to me, because there seems to be a sort of war on truth. The new New Age belief seems to be that there is no objective truth at all, which makes no sense, because in that case they wouldn't even be able to make case for that point. We all know deep down that some things are more true than others. I'm a fan of humility, and I'm fine with admitting that "all I know is I know nothing". But that doesn't mean I'm going to eat my cereal with poison instead of milk tomorrow morning.
It's no wonder, then, that "rationalists" or whatever you want to call them hate the whole New Age think. I don't consider myself New Age. I don't consider myself anything, really, but I understand that there's some overlap with what I talk about and spirituality. I'm OK with that. What "rationalists" miss, however, is the mystery of the whole thing. It cannot be entirely understood (even if I know enough to know I would rather eat my cereal with milk - I still cannot explain to you why I like my favorite cereal).
People settle.
The truth is, as far as I have been able to see, that your life is up to you. Certainly some people have it worse than others, and I'm not disputing that. It's not my business to go to some starving kid in a third world country and say "Hey bud your life is up to you". That's ridiculous. On the other hand, however, any of us who are fortunate enough to be on a website like this most likely have the tools to be able to do something cool with their life. And I always cite the example of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a Nazi labor camp. He said that he was free to choose his attitude despite that horrific situation, and if he can do it in those circumstances, I'm not sure that any of us have an excuse, either. (Not to say he was jumping for joy in a concentration camp, but he did choose to hold out hope, and he survived. I was criticized for talking about this once on Facebook - I soon learned this was not the best platform for my writing.)
If you've read any of my stuff, you know I like to mix more broader-based truths, as I see them, with more personal details. I think it helps illustrate my points, and I also like talking about it. It's part of my whole "enjoyment of life" thing.
I recently wrote a post about how "the material is good", speaking about my music but also my message. Today's post will be similar. Yesterday I got together with my band to talk about our new repertoire going forward. I write the vast majority of music though I do appreciate the contributions they make and also don't consider them replaceable. Anyway, we met at my house and I showed them 10-12 songs that I like for our band going forward: some quite old (10-15 years), some intermediate (3-5 years), and some recent (from 1 week to 1 year ago). They liked 9 of them and the other 3 were a maybe.
Like I said, I've had some of these songs for 10-15 years. Some of them I've had the privilege of playing live, but only a couple of times, but the vast majority no. I remember when I was 22 years old it was my dream to make a living with this music... I really feel like I had a message there. One year later, in AA, I would share in a meeting and flagellate myself by saying that "me and my best bud had a message, what it was, I don't know" - and everybody laughed (this was one thing that drove me away from AA, despite me remaining sober for 9.5 years as of writing: the self-condemnation). But that was wrong. I, we (my best friend and I) did have a message. I just didn't know exactly what it was.
Now I know, as much as I can put it into words, I suppose. Life sucked for me. Yeah, I was materially well-off, just like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. But like them, particularly like Dylan, I found no joy in life. No meaning. I did not feel accepted. Girls did not seem to like me. I can relate deeply to Dylan in that sense. My life sucked - money was not enough for me. But rock and roll, man, that made me feel alive. I could share my emotions, I could play and sing and dance, I could get my aggression out, and hey... girls took notice of me. I had never seen girls pay attention to me like after they did when I got up on stage. It was wild.
I would never say I did it or do it only for girls. I had one guy tell me that one time, and hey, at least he was honest. But that wasn't my case. Still, it was a nice side benefit. I think they were attracted to the same thing I was: that feeling of being alive.
Me and my best bud used to say "rock is life", half-jokingly, but actually in a serious sense, too. I think I coined this term, but I can't be sure, and in fairness we discovered what rock and roll meant together. He was the Eric to my Dylan. Luckily we didn't blow anybody's brains out. Anyway, if I recall correctly, it was because I wanted that feeling of rock, being up on stage, to apply to my entire life. Not just being on stage. All of my life was my stage. Thus, "rock is life". And I very distinctly remember part of it being unapologetic.
Just a quick note, for those who don't know me, that I don't glorify Harris and Klebold. The only reason I'm talking about them at all is because I've recently been doing a dive into the Columbine shooting because I'm fascinated by what could drive two kids to do something that horrific. The most interesting part, to me, is that Dylan and Eric weren't all that different from me and my friends. In fact, I think they actually had some valid grievances about life and about society (though not valid enough to justify what they did). I believe what I am doing is rooted in something similar to what they felt, but my conclusion about the course of action is the exact opposite: not the destruction of life, but rather, the celebration. In all of its facets - including the ugly.
In AA they called it "living life on life's terms". That's what I learned to do. At 22 years old, in the midst of my rock and roll dream, I had to get sober. I hit a guy on a bike in a drunk driving "accident" that was obviously my fault. Thank God he was okay, and I didn't run or anything, I made sure he was OK and I got arrested after confessing. Soon after I got sober, and I've been sober ever since. I'm very grateful to that - but I had to give up on my rock and roll dream.
Or that's what I thought, at least. I had no idea that 10 years later I'd be given the opportunity to play these songs again, for audiences that enjoy and appreciate my music. And why? Why me? Firstly, it's a gift. A gift from "God", if you will, or from life (I don't actually believe in a deity). I'm good at making music. It comes naturally to me. Where I come into is that I never gave up on myself or my music. Well, I sort of did at the beginning of sobriety, but even that was a great example of not giving up on myself. Deep down I think I knew that more important than the songs was the message behind them - I mean, in the way I choose to live my life. So while I was perhaps wrong to think that my music was not important, I never gave up on myself, and eventually that lead me to rediscovering my music a few years later. And here we are now.
I've fought for it. Getting into a band was sort of by chance, but configuring things in such a way that made sense has been a fight. We had a drummer who didn't like to play original music, only covers. We argued, and eventually he made the decision to leave without getting sacked. I told him I understood and we parted with a hug, no hard feelings. We had a bass player, a great guy and still my friend, who is a true musician and gets paid to play in cover bands and stuff. He always viewed our project as secondary. We had to cut him, too. And then there was a keyboardist who didn't fit our groove. We cut him, too.
In a way, it was all my brainchild. The rhythm guitarist is perhaps my best friend here overseas (by the way, 1 year into sobriety I moved overseas to help find myself). I told him to pick up a bass. The new drummer was on the same page as he and I in terms of the music we wanted to make. I proposed we do a power trio. And that's what we did. And people here are loving it.
If you look at the accomplishments themselves, they're not actually that impressive. Just a few local shows and one small show outside of town. But there's something about the reception we're getting. It's not only positive, like, "hey, I liked your band". People genuinely seem to be enjoying our music and giving praise that goes beyond what is expected in order to be nice / friendly. It's an amazing feeling, and confirmation of what I think I knew to be true 10 years ago: my music is good, and life is worth it. I think the fact that I've continued fighting for 10 years just makes the message even stronger - I never gave up, even through the bad times.
All of this is to say that I never imagined I would be here today. Maybe this sounds like an Oscar award speech or something, which is ridiculous given the "minimal" achievements my band and I have had. But to me they're not minimal. Again, it's not necessarily about the material success, but rather the spiritual success of knowing that I took a stand somewhere and contributed something valuable to the world. And had a lot of fun along the way, too. That's worth more than gold (and who doesn't love gold?)
I couldn't write a whole post about my life without mentioning the girl I like right now. Man, I'm very attracted to her, and I "love" her, whatever that means. Maybe it's ridiculous since I hardly know her, but I think about her a lot, and I'd like to get to know her more. If you're reading this, no, it's not the girl I met on Reddit, though I am fond of that girl, too, and wouldn't mind hearing from her again. But yeah, the girl in real life is great.
It's weird. As much as I'd like to get her in bed or whatever (it'd be fun), it's almost like I just want to be discovered or something. I feel there's a lot going on with me, and I'm eager to share it with the world. I think it's valuable. Of course, she is dealing with her own issues, so it's best to go slow. I'm OK with being patient, she's worth it. (I wouldn't mind getting to know her, either.)
I think what I never understood with love was that it's just a plus, not the main event. People say this all the time, but it's difficult to digest when you're lonely. It's true though. You have to make your own life the main event. IMO that doesn't mean "create a great social life, go to clubs, go to the gym" and all these other material milestones that people create. Nah. For me, it's a more spiritual question. What do you want your life to be about? Figure that out then embark on the journey. Love is a wonderful stop on that journey. No movie or story would be complete without it, right? Well, life wouldn't be, either.
Anyway, all of this is to say that life is worth it. It's a lot of bullshit sometimes. The day-to-day can be grueling, even if you're lucky like me and have a job that you somewhat enjoy. And then you've got to clean the house, pay taxes, deal with people's dysfunction (including your own)... it's hard! But it's like I said earlier, life is what you make of it. That's my whole message. It's really extremely simple. Simple, but not easy, I guess. But I guess I just decided that I was going to give it a try (more than once, actually), and I'm really, really glad I did.
submitted by shortyafter to shortyafter [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:15 Dacques94 I've been on therapy for 5 months now

I've been going to a psychotherapist to address my social phobia/anxiety. We've unraveled my childhood, parents influence, bullying at school, my perfectionist voice telling me I'm not good enough or that I'm miserable for doing one mistake...
But I feel even worse. I really despise when I don't have the control over my emotions and, while before therapy I repressed all my emotions and traumas, after therapy I find myself more unstable emotionally. Things affect me easily because of my sensitive nature.
I think I do have to live through it again in order to heal but.. I wish there was a more direct approach to this. It's not that I don't have self-worth, it's that my inner voice is very perfectionist, negative-oriented and 100% against me, my actions and how I do portray myself in society as to how I do react.... and it's been doing this for almost all my life.
I wish my therapist gave me some tools to stop social fear and anxiety, it shows physically like illnesses (psychosomatic I guess, it has to do with bodily functions so shame is there) but he only wants me to talk and give my own point of view. I see no progress. I'm fed up tbf.
Suicide thoughts do no longer happen but I do fantasize with the idea sometimes, although I know I won't be able to do it.
submitted by Dacques94 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:14 Dokopas684 Viable escape plan?

Both parents are narcs, little sister in her mid-twenties seems to be following suit.
I'm 31 male, I have ADHD and by now I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere on the autism spectrum.
I'm from what you could call upper middle class, in an extremely classist country. Went to good schools and unis, become friends with people I'm sure will be leaders in their chosen fields in the future.
I turned out to be an abject failure, couldn't keep a job for more than 6 months over the last 10 years, tried multiple industries and roles. The past 3 years since covid (unrelated tho) has been especially terrible. I'm more at home than working, low salary (understandable given my ridiculous resume).
I can't afford therapy or medication, asking for family help isn't an option.
I was thinking, there is a small costal town in my country, over the past 10 years it has been growing up to be a sunny destination but also somewhere you could somewhat dissappear.
I want to do that, I can't function in this society, I don't mind doing some manual labor and escape the hell hole I'm in with my parents.
But I'm scared I'm going to make a big mistake, I've seen people losing years upon years over there. When they come back they're usually very disconnected and can't easily adapt to city life especially with lack of viable work experience.
But I feel like I need this, I need to be on my own for a while, there are so many details but I think those highlights sum it up.
What do you guys think?
submitted by Dokopas684 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 15:13 mambogoddess93 Do I wait for him?

29/F, seeing a 27/M. Bit of a long and complicated story but I'll cut to the chase! I've just gotten back from a month travelling with a friend who I formed a really deep physical and emotional connection with during the travels. I feel like it's limerance-esq but I'm confident I haven't had a connection the same with anyone before. I know he feels the same, we've talked about it, we've said we love eachother. Thing is, I'm back home now and he's still got a year left on his travels. He told me he can't give me what I deserve right now, he won't be able to be there for me like he wants, but when he comes back (in a year) then he'd like to start dating if we both feel the same. He doesn't want a long term relationship while he's still travelling as he "won't be able to give me 100%" He's said he doesn't want me to wait for him, as it's unfair to ask. I've told him that honestly I'd be happy to but he's sticking to what he says. I know we have a great connection, I'd honestly do anything to be with him haha so I'm thinking about waiting for him. Thing is, I don't wanna wait around to find out in the end when he's back he doesn't want me, I'd be heartbroken and it just seems like such a risk. But I also don't want to start seeing other people again because I'm worried that it'd ruin the dynamic between us. Thoughts?
submitted by mambogoddess93 to dating_advice [link] [comments]