Have one slot in a 14T PPR Dynasty Football League with a 4-round FYPD on Sunday June 4. FYPD is a slow draft with a 6-hour clock.
League is hosted on Fantrax with a league Discord for communication and trade discussion. Deeper rosters with no Kicker and no D/ST. Starting lineups are:
QB/RB/RB/WWTE and 4 FLEX alongside 10 bench spots and 4 IR.
Team Roster (FYPD 1.8, 2.8, 3.8, 4.8)

Above-Average Armchair GMs Wanted for Competitive Fantasy Football League with $5,000 Grand Prize
DM Me if you're interested in joining, I will add you to the league GroupMe.
Welcome Above-Average Armchair GMs! Here are the league details:
We have four divisions: The Analytics Aficionados, The Data Darlings, The Probability Prodigies, The Spreadsheet Savants.
Our league type is 1PPR, 6pt Passing TDs, H2H Points, with lineup locking at game start.
We will have a live auction draft with a $200 budget hosted on the ESPN fantasy site (results will be imported)
The rosters consist of 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, and 2 FLEX, with a total of 18 players: 8 starters, 10 bench, +2 IR, +4 TAXI.
Our transaction rules include a 24-hour trade review period (commissioner can push trades through earlier when requested), roster minimums, and preventing cuts after game start.
We use Blind Bid Auction for waiver claims and have a $100 initial waiver budget.
Tiebreakers for regular season and playoffs are in place.
The draft will take place on Wednesday, September 6th at 7pm. The entry fee is $500.
1st Place: $5,000
2nd Place: $1,000
3rd Place: $500
Division Winners: $250 each
The Rebuilder's Cup Winner: $500

Howdy all! Joined a dynasty premier league last season, and it was a blast until halfway through when the commish seemed a bit over their head with the complexity and bailed out. It gave me the fever though, so I am staring up a similar but less complicated league. I've filled most the league with friends / work colleagues and am looking to help round out the last 1-3 slots. I also manage a couple of long-standing (10+ years) football and hockey leagues, so I'm hoping to add a Premier League group to that list!
What we're looking for in league members:

• Enjoy watching and chatting about the Premier League (all communication done on a discord server).
• Looking for a competitive / casual league experience
• Can communicate with others in a fun, adult environment without taking shots at people (this was a source of drama in the original league I mentioned)
• Wanting to commit something long-term

League Information Summary:

• 12-Man Dynasty Premier League (members mostly in the US - Midwest)
• $100 buy in each season
• Available player pool is made up of Premier League players only
• 30-man active roster; 7 IR slots; 10-man youth squad (under 21)
• 11-Man valid starting roster required for each game week.
  • 1 G; 3-5 D; 3-5 M; 1-3 F
• Can provide points categories on request. The categories were selected to gauge the overall form of a player in a given match vs just the glory stats
• Startup draft will be a slow-draft over the course of a week or so
• Each season will include an Entry Draft when the summer transfer window closes in August for players that entered the league in the summer
• Rest of season acquisitions will be done through FAAB and waivers - including the winter transfer windows
• Owners can hold onto a player copy that has transferred out of the PL as long as Fantrax permits - we will not be managing player rights outside the system.
• Payout to the top 3 teams in the league at the end of the season (no playoff / tournament structure for now)
• Future league changes including rule updates and league expansion will be handled through league voting.

If you're interested in joining, then shoot me a personal message with some info about yourself and why you're interested in the league, and we can move forward from there!

(owing to the reddit character limit, I'm posting this in two parts, but it's one contiguous story)
There are instincts that you develop when you’re a parent. If you don’t have any children it might be a little hard to understand. If you have a toddler, for example, and they’re in the other room and silent for more than a few seconds, there’s a good chance they’re up to no good. I take that back, most of the time they’re doing nothing, but you still have to check. You feel a compulsion to check. I don’t think it’s a learned skill, I think it’s an actual instinct.
Paleolithic parents who didn’t check on their toddlers every few minutes, just to double check that they weren’t being stalked by smilodons were unlikely to have grandchildren and pass on their genes. You just feel you need to check, like getting goosebumps, a compulsion. I suppose it’s the same reason little kids are always demanding you look at them and what they’re doing.
I think that instinct starts to atrophy as your kids grow. They start learning to do things for themselves, and before you know it, they’re after their own privacy, not your attention. I don’t think it ever goes away though. I expect, decades from now, my own grown kids will visit and bring my grandkids with them. And the second I hear a baby crying in the earliest morning hours, I’ll be alert and ready for anything, sure as any old soldier who hears his name whispered in the dark of night.
I felt that alarm just the other day. First time in years. My boy came home from riding bikes with a couple of his friends. I’m pretty sure they worked out a scam where they asked each of their parents for a different new console for Christmas, and now they spend their weekends traveling between the three houses so they can play on all of them.
We all live in a nice neighborhood. A newer development than the one I grew up in, same town though. It’s the kind of place where kids are always playing in the streets, and the cars all routinely do under 20. My wife and I make sure the kids have helmets and pads, and we’re fine with the boy going out biking with his friends, as long as they stay in the neighborhood.
You know, a lot of people in my generation take some weird sort of pride in how irresponsible we used to be when we were young. I never wore a helmet. Rode to places, without telling any adults, that we never should have ridden to. Me and my friends would make impromptu jumps off of makeshift ramps and try to do stupid tricks, based loosely on stunts we’d seen on TV. Other people my age seem to wax nostalgic for that stuff and pretend it makes them somehow better people. I don’t get it. Sometimes I look back and shudder. We were lucky we escaped with only occasional bruises and road burns. It could have gone so much worse.
My son and his buddies came bustling in the front door at about 2 PM on a Saturday. They did the usual thing of raiding the kitchen for juice and his mother’s brownies, and I took that as my cue to abandon the television in the living room for my office. I was hardly noticing the chaos, by this point, it was becoming a regular weekend occurrence. But as I was just leaving, I caught something in the chatter. My boy said something about, “... that guy who was following us.”
He hadn’t said it any louder or more clearly than anything else they’d been talking about, all that stuff I’d been filtering out. Yet some deeper core process in my brain stem heard it, interpreted it, then hit the red alert button. My blood ran cold and every hair on my skin stood at attention.
I turned around and asked “Somebody followed you? What are you talking about?” I wasn’t consciously aware of how strict and stern my voice came out, yet when the jovial smiles dropped off of their faces it was apparent that it had been so.
“Huh?” my son said, his voice high-pitched and talking fast, like when he thinks he’s in trouble and needs to explain. “We thought we saw somebody following us. There wasn’t though. We didn’t really see anybody and we’d just spooked ourselves.”
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Nothing? We really didn’t see anybody! Honest! I just saw something out of the corner of my eye! But there wasn’t really nobody there!”
“Yeah!,” said one of his buds. “Peripheral! Peripheral vision! I thought maybe I saw something too, but when I looked I didn’t see anything. I don’t have my glasses with me, but when I really looked I got a good look and there was nothing.”
The three boys had that semi-smiling but still concerned look that this was only a bizarre misunderstanding, but they were still being very sincere. “Were they in a car?”
“No, Dad, you don’t get it,” my boy continued, “They were small. We thought it was a kid.”
“Yeah,” said the third boy. “We thought maybe it was Tony Taylor’s stupid kid sister shadowing us. Getting close to throwing water balloons. Just cause she did that before.”
“If you didn’t get a good look how did you know it was a kid?”
“Because it was small!” my kid explained, though that wasn’t helping much. “What I mean is, at first I thought it was behind a little bush. It was way too small a bush to hide a grown-up. That’s why we thought it was probably Tony’s sister.”
“But you didn’t actually see Tony’s sister?” I asked.
“Nah,” said one of his buds. “And now that I think about it, that bush was probably too small for his sister too. It would have been silly. Like when a cartoon character hides behind a tiny object.”
“That’s why we think it was just in our heads,” explained the other boy, “That and the pole.”
“Yeah,” my son said. “The park on 14th and Taylor?” That was just a little community park, a single city block. Had a playground, lawn, a few trees, and some benches. “Anyway, we were riding past that, took a right on Taylor. And we were talking about how weird it would be if somebody really were following us. That’s when Brian thought he saw something. Behind a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t get a good look at it either,” the friend, Brian, “explained. Just thought I did. Know how you get up late at night to use the bathroom or whatever and you look down the hallway and you see a jacket or an office chair or something and because your eyes haven’t adjusted you think you see a ghost or burglar or something? Anyway, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned there wasn’t anything there.”
“Yeah, it was just like sometimes that happens, except this time it happened twice on the same bike ride, is all,” the other friend explained.
“And you’re sure there was nothing there?”
“Sure we’re sure,” my boy said. “We know because that time we checked. We each rode our bikes around the pole and there was nothing. Honest!”
“Hmmm,” I said. The whole thing seemed reasonable and nothing to be concerned about, you’d think.. The boys seemed to relax at my supposed acceptance. “Alright, sounds good. Hey, just let me know before you leave the house again, alright?” They all rushed to seem agreeable as I left the room, then quickly resumed their snacking and preceded to play their games.
I kept my ear out, just in case. My boy, at least this time, dutifully told me his friends were about to leave. He wasn’t very happy with me when I said they wouldn’t be riding home on their bikes, I was going to drive them home. The other boys didn’t complain, but I suppose it wasn’t their place, so my boy did the advocating for them, which I promptly ignored. I hate doing that, ignoring my kid’s talkback. My dad was the same way. It didn’t help that I struggled to get both of their bikes in the trunk, and it was a pain to get them back out again. My boy sulked in the front seat on the short ride back home. Arms folded on chest, eyes staring straight ahead, that lip thing they do. He seemed embarrassed for having what he thought was an over-protective parent. I suppose he was angry at me as well for acting, as far as he knew, irrationally. Maybe he thought he was being punished for some infraction he didn’t understand.
Well, it only got worse when we got home. I told him he wasn’t allowed to go out alone on his bike anymore. I’d only had to do that once before, when he was grounded, and back then he’d known exactly what he’d done wrong and he had it coming. Now? Well, he was confused, furious, maybe betrayed, probably a little brokenhearted? I can’t blame him. He tramped upstairs to his room to await the return of his mother, who was certain to give a sympathetic ear. I can’t imagine how upset he’ll be if he checks the garage tomorrow and finds I’ve removed his tires, just in case.
I wish I could explain it to him. I don’t even know how.
Where should I even begin? The town?
When I was about my son’s age I had just seen that movie, The Goonies. It had just come out in theaters. I really liked that movie, felt a strong connection. A lot of people do, can’t blame them, sort of a timeless classic. Except I wasn’t really into pirate’s treasure or the Fratellis, what really made me connect was a simple single shot, still in the first act. It’s right after they cross the threshold, and leave the house on their adventure. It was a shot of the boys, from above, maybe a crane shot or a helicopter shot, as they’re riding their bikes down a narrow forested lane, great big evergreen trees densely growing on the side of the road, they’re all wearing raincoats and the road is still wet from recent rain.
That was my childhood. I’ve spent my whole life in the Pacific Northwest. People talk to outsiders about the rain, and they might picture a lot of rainfall, but it’s not the volume, it’s the duration. We don’t get so much rain, it just drizzles slowly, on and on, for maybe eight or nine months out of the year. It doesn’t matter where I am, inside a house, traveling far abroad, anywhere I am I can close my eyes and still smell the air on a chilly afternoon, playing outdoors with my friends.
It’s not petrichor, that sudden intense smell you get when it first starts to rain after a long dry spell. No, this was almost the opposite, a clean smell, almost the opposite of a scent, since the rain seemed to scrub the air clean. The strongest scent and I mean that in the loosest sense possible, must have been the evergreen needles. Not pine needles, those were too strong, and there weren’t that many pines anyway. Douglas fir and red cedar predominated, again the root ‘domination’ seems hyperbole. Yet those scents were there, ephemeral as it is. Also, there was a sort of pleasant dirtiness to the smell, at least when you rode bikes. It wasn’t dirt, or mud, or dust. Dust couldn’t have existed except perhaps for a few fleeting weeks in August. I think, looking back, it was the mud puddles. All the potholes in all the asphalt suburban roads would fill up after rain with water the color of chocolate milk. We’d swerve our BMX bikes, or the knock-off brands, all the way across the street just to splash through those puddles and test our “suspensions.,” meaning our ankles and knees. The smell was always stronger after that. It had an earthiness to it. Perhaps it was petrichor’s lesser-known watery cousin.
There were other sensations too, permanently seared into my brain like grill marks. A constant chilliness that was easy to ignore, until you started working up a good heart rate on your bike, then you noticed your lungs were so cold it felt like burning. The sound of your tires on the wet pavement, particularly when careening downhill at high speed. For some reason, people in the mid-80s used to like to decorate their front porches with cheap, polyester windsocks. They were often vividly colored, usually rainbow, like prototype pride flags. When an occasional wind stirred up enough to gust, the windsocks would flap, and owning to the water-soaked polyester, make a wet slapping sound. It was loud, it was distinct, but you learned to ignore it as part of the background, along with the cawing of crows and distant passing cars.
That was my perception of Farmingham as a kid. The town itself? Just a typical Pacific Northwest town. That might not mean much for younger people or modern visitors, but there was a time when such towns were all the same. They were logging towns. It was the greatest resource of the area from the late 19th century, right up until about the 80s, when the whole thing collapsed. Portland, Seattle, they had a few things going on beyond just the timber industry, but all the hundreds of little towns and small cities revolved around logging, and my town was no exception.
I remember going to the museum. It had free admission, and it was a popular field trip destination for the local school system. It used to be the City Hall, a weird Queen Anne-style construction. Imagine a big Victorian house, but blown up to absurd proportions, and with all sorts of superfluous decorations. Made out of local timber, of course. They had a hall for art, I can’t even remember why, now. Maybe they were local artists. I only remember paintings of sailboats and topless women, which was a rare sight for a kid at the time. There was a hall filled with 19th-century household artifacts. Chamber pots and weird children's toys.
Then there was the logging section, which was the bulk of the museum. It’s strange how different things seemed to be in the early days of the logging industry, despite being only about a hundred years old, from my perspective in the 1980s. If you look back a hundred years from today, in the 1920s, you had automobiles, airplanes, electrical appliances, jazz music, radio programs, flappers, it doesn’t feel that far removed, does it? No TV, no internet, but it wouldn’t be that strange. 1880s? Different world.
Imagine red cedars, so big you could have a full logging crew, arms stretched out, just barely manage to encircle one for a photographer. Felling a single tree was the work of days. Men could rest and eat their lunches in the shelter of a cut made into a trunk, and not worry for safety or room. They had to cut their own little platforms into the trees many feet off the ground, just so the trunk was a little bit thinner, and thus hours of labor saved. They used those long, flexible two-man saws. And double-bit axes. They worked in the gloom of the shade with old gas lanterns. Once cut down from massive logs thirty feet in diameter, they’d float the logs downhill in sluices, like primitive wooden make-shift water slides. Or they’d haul them down to the nearest river, the logs pulled by donkeys on corduroy roads. They’d lay large amounts of grease on the roads, so the logs would slide easily. You could still smell the grease on the old tools on display in the museum. The bigger towns had streets where the loggers would slide the logs down greased skids all the way down to the sea, where they’d float in big logjams until the mills were ready for processing. They’d call such roads “skid-rows.” Because of all the activity, they’d end up being the worst parts of town. Local citizens wouldn’t want to live there, due to all the stink and noise. They’d be on the other side of the brothels and the opium dens. It would be the sort of place where the destitute and the insane would find themselves when they’d finally lost anything. To this day, “skidrow” remains a euphemism for the part of a city where the homeless encamp.
That was the lore I’d learned as a child. That was my “ancestry” I was supposed to respect and admire, which I did, wholeheartedly. There were things they left out, though. Things that you might have suspected, from a naive perspective, would be perfect for kids, all the folklore that came with the logging industry. The ghost stories, and the tall tales. I would have eaten that up. They do talk about that kind of thing in places far removed from the Pacific Northwest. But I had never heard about any of it. Things like the Hidebehind. No, that I’d have to discover for myself.
There were four of us on those bike adventures. Myself. Ralph, my best friend. A tough guy, the bad boy, the most worldly of us, which is a strange thing to say about an eight-year-old kid. India, an archetypal ‘80s tomboy. She was the coolest person I knew at the time. Looking back, I wonder what her home life was like. I think I remember problematic warning signs that I couldn’t have recognized when I was so young, but now raise flags. Then there was Ben. A goofy kid, a wild mop of hair, coke bottle glasses, type 1 diabetic which seemed to make him both a bit pampered by his mother, who was in charge of all his insulin, diet, and schedule, and conversely a real risk taker when she wasn’t around.
When we first saw it…
No, wait. This was the problem with starting the story. Where does it all begin? I’ll need to talk about my Grandfather as well. I’ve had two different perspectives on my Grandfather, on the man that he was. The first was the healthy able-bodied grandparent I’d known as a young child. Then there was the man, as I learned about him after he had passed.
There was a middle period, from when I was 6 to when I was 16, when I hardly understood him at all, as he was hit with a double whammy of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer's. His decline into an invalid was both steep and long drawn out. That part didn’t reflect who he was as a person.
What did I know of him when I was little? Well I knew he and my grandmother had a nice big house and some farmland, out in the broad flat valley north of Farmingham. Dairy country. It had been settled by Dutch immigrants back in the homesteading days. His family had been among the first pioneers in the county too. It didn’t register to me then that his surname was Norwegian, not Dutch. I knew he had served in the Navy in World War II, which I was immensely proud of for reasons I didn’t know why. I knew he had a job as a butcher in a nearby rural supermarket. He was a bit of a farmer too, more as a hobby and a side gig. He had a few cattle, but mostly grew and harvested hay to sell to the local dairies. I knew he had turned his garage into a machine shop, and could fix damn near anything. From the flat tires on my bicycle to the old flat-bed truck he’d haul hay with, to an old 1950s riding lawnmower he somehow managed to keep in working order. I knew he could draw a really cool cartoon cowboy, I knew he loved to watch football, and I knew the whiskers on his chin were very pokey, and they’d tickle you when he kissed you on the cheek, and that when you tried to rub the sensation away he’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then there were the parts of his life that I’d learn much later. Mostly from odd passing comments from relatives, or things I’d find in the public records. Like how he’d been a better grandfather than a father. Or how his life as I knew it had been a second, better life. He’d been born among the Norwegian settler community, way up in the deep, dark, forest-shrouded hills that rimmed the valley. He’d been a logger in his youth. Technologically he was only a generation or two from the ones I’d learned about in the museum. They’d replaced donkeys with diesel engines and corduroy roads with narrow gauge rail. It was still the same job, though. Dirty, dangerous, dark. Way back into those woods, living in little logging camps, civilization was always a several-day hike out. It became a vulgar sort of profession, filled with violent men, reprobates, and thieves. When my grandfather’s father was murdered on his front porch by a lunatic claiming he’d been wronged somehow, my grandfather hiked out of there, got into town, and joined the Navy. He vowed never to go back. The things he’d seen out in those woods were no good. He’d kept that existence away from me. Anyways…
Tommy Barker was the first of us to go missing. I say ‘us’ as if I knew him personally. I didn’t. He went to Farmingham Middle School, other side of town, and several grades above us. From our perspective, he may as well have been an adult living overseas.
Yet it felt like we got to know him. His face was everywhere, on TV, all over telephone poles. Everybody was talking about him. After he didn’t return from a friend’s house, everybody just sort of assumed, or maybe hoped, that he’d just gotten lost, or was trapped somewhere. They searched all the parks. Backyards, junkyards, refrigerators, trunks. Old-fashioned refrigerators, back before suction seals, had a simple handle with a latch that opened when you pulled on it. It wasn’t a problem when the fridges were in use and filled with food. But by the 80s old broke-down refrigerators started filling up backyards and junkyards, and they became deathtraps for kids playing hide-and-seek. The only opened from the outside. I remember thinking Tommy Barker was a little old to have likely been playing hide-and-seek, but people checked everywhere anyway. They never found him.
That was about the first time we saw the Hidebehind. Ben said he thought he saw somebody following us, looked like, maybe, a kid. We’d just slowly huffed our way up a moderately steep hill, Farmingham is full of them, and when we paused for a breather at the top, Ben said he saw it down the hill, closer to the base. Yet when we turned to look there was nothing there. Ben said he’d just seen it duck behind a car. That wasn’t the sort of behavior of a random kid minding his own business. Yet the slope afforded us a view under the car’s carriage, and except for the four tires, there were no signs of any feet hiding behind the body. At first, we thought he was pulling our leg. When he insisted he wasn’t, we started to tease him a little. He must have been seeing things, on account of his poor vision and thick glasses. The fact that those glasses afforded him vision as good as or better than any of us wasn’t something we considered.
The next person to disappear was Amy Brooks. Fifth-grader. Next elementary school over. I remember it feeling like when you’re traveling down the freeway, and there’s a big thunderstorm way down the road, but it keeps getting closer, and closer. I don’t remember what she looked like. Her face wasn’t plastered everywhere like Tommy’s had been. She was mentioned on the regional news, out of Seattle, her and Tommy together. Two missing kids from the same town in a short amount of time. The implication was as obvious as it was depraved. They didn’t think the kids were getting lost anymore. They didn’t do very much searching of backyards. The narratives changed too. Teachers started talking a lot about stranger danger. Local TV channels started recycling old After School Specials and public service announcements about the subject.
I’m not sure who saw it next. I think it was Ben again. We took him seriously this time though. I think. The one I’m sure I remember was soon after, and that time it was India who first saw it. It’s still crystal clear in my memory, almost forty years later, because that was the time I first saw it too. We were riding through a four-way stop, an Idaho Stop before they called it that, when India slammed to a stop, locking up her coaster brakes and leaving a long black streak of rubber on a dry patch of pavement. We stopped quickly after and asked what the problem was. We could tell by her face she’d seen it. She was still looking at it.
“I see it,” she whispered, unnecessarily. We all followed her gaze. We were looking, I don’t know, ten seconds? Twenty? We believed everything she said, we just couldn’t see it.
“Where?” Ralph asked.
“Four blocks down,” she whispered. “On the left. See the red car? Kinda rusty?” There was indeed a big old Lincoln Continental, looking pretty ratty and worn. I focused on that, still seeing nothing. “Past that, just to its right. See the street light pole? It’s just behind that.”
We also saw the pole she was talking about. Metal. Aluminum, I’d have guessed. It had different color patches, like metallic flakeboard. Like it’d had been melted together out of scrap.
I could see that clearly even from that distance. I saw nothing behind it. I could see plenty of other things in the background, cars, houses, bushes, front lawns, beauty bark landscape.. There was no indication of anything behind that pole.
And then it moved. It had been right there where she said it had been, yet it had somehow perfectly blended into the landscape, a trick of perspective. We didn’t see it at all until it moved, and almost as fast it had disappeared behind that light pole. We only got a hint. Brown in color, about our height in size.
We screamed. Short little startled screams, the involuntary sort that just burst out of you. Then we turned and started to pedal like mad, thoroughly spooked. We made it to the intersection of the next block when it was Ralph who screeched to a halt and shouted, “Wait!”
We slowed down and stopped, perhaps not as eagerly as we’d done when India yelled. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, looking at that metal pole. “Did anybody see it move again?’ he asked. We all shook our heads in the negative. Ralph didn’t notice, but of course, he didn’t really need an answer, of course we hadn’t been watching.
“If it didn’t move, then it’s still there!” Ralph explained the obvious. It took a second to sink in, despite the obvious. “C’mon!” he shouted, and to our surprise, before we could react, he turned and took off, straight down the road, straight to where that thing had been lurking.
We were incredulous, but something about his order made us all follow hot on his heels. He was a sort of natural leader. I thought it was total foolishness, but I wasn’t going to let him go alone. I think I got out, “Are you crazy?!”
The wind was blowing hard past our faces as we raced as fast as we could, it made it hard to hear. Ralph shouted his response. “If it’s hiding that means its afraid!” That seemed reasonable, if not totally accurate. Lions hide from their prey before they attack. Then again, they don’t wait around when the whole herd charges. Really, the pole was coming up so fast there wasn’t a whole lot of time to argue. “Just blast past and look!” Ralph added. “We’re too fast! It won’t catch us.”
Sure, I thought to myself. Except maybe Ben, who always lagged behind the rest of us in a race. The lion would get Ben if any of us.
We rushed past that pole and all turned our heads to look. “See!” Ralph shouted in triumph. There was simply nothing there. A metal streetlight pole and nothing more. We stopped pedaling yet still sped on. “Hang on,” Ralph said, and at the next intersection he took a fast looping curve that threatened to crash us all, but we managed and curved behind him. We all came to the pole again where we stopped to see up close that there was nothing there, despite what we had seen moments before.
“Maybe it bilocated,” Ben offered. We groaned. We were all thinking it, but I think we were dismissive because it wasn’t as cool a word as ‘teleport.”
“Maybe it just moved when we weren’t looking,” I offered. That hadn’t been long, but that didn’t mean anything if it moved fast. The four of us slowly looked up from the base of the pole to our immediate surroundings. There were bushes. A car in a carport covered by a tarpaulin. The carport itself. Garbage cans. Stumps. Of course the ever-present trees. Whatever it was it could have been hiding behind anything. Maybe it was. We looked. Maybe it would make itself seen. None of us wanted that. “OK, let’s get going,” Ralph said, and we did so.
I got home feeling pretty shaken that afternoon. I felt safe at home. Except for the front room, which had a big bay window looking out onto the street, and the people who lived across it. There were plenty of garbage cans and telephone poles and stumps that a small, fast thing might hide behind. No, I felt more comfortable in my bedroom. There was a window, but a great thick conical cypress tree grew right in front of it, reaching way up over the roof of the house. If anything, it offered ME a place to hide, and peer out onto the street to either side of the tree. It was protective, as good as any heavy blanket.

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Individual Simple Question or League Issue (with very rare exceptions) threads posted after this point will be deleted in order to keep the subreddit clean. Post here instead! If everyone sorts by new, your questions should be answered. You can also check out /FFCommish

The following users have helped the most people in this thread:

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Football Head Coach 23 MOD APK 75K Gold and Energy 2023

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In San Diego county, near Palomar Mt; the property lots are large, chaparral, lots of granite boulders about. My neighbor has a lot of vacant land that borders mine. Periodically, he’s been sending people to a specific part of the land to harvest, what looks like rocks. About the size of footballs. Another neighbor told me that there is a quartz vein in that area, and that gold is usually found near quartz veins. They only go foraging with shovels. No pick axes or power equipment. Last week I saw them with 1-2 rocks but they didn’t look like quartz. Today, they were more secretive and carried their loot in shopping bags!
What could they be searching for?
I don’t want to steal their gold, I’m just genuinely curious! Thanks in advance.

Any maps I see of NFL fanbase territory, which I know is subjective, nonetheless shows Baltimore having very little, disproportionate to areas that are close and proximate.
The Ravens are the clear number one team in Baltimore, but the Orioles occupy a greater number of counties that have them as the top NFL club. Obviously this is due to Baltimore losing the Colts, not having football for 13 seasons, then getting a team but in 1996 vs 1950. Then it also is because in baseball, the reverse, DC did not have a baseball team for over 30 years, leaving a void somewhat filled though not nearly as much as they claim, by the Orioles.
So my question, if the Colts never left Baltimore/or if the Ravens had been around since the Colts in the 50s, and if 1996 onward they had the same non Jim Irsay management, what would the Ravens/Baltimore's NFL fan shed look like?
Currently outside Baltimore the Ravens seem to have the following markets:
-Annapolis, most of the eastern shore (and even these I wonder how tenuous it is should the Washington team ever get good).
While the Orioles have, in addition:
-The entire eastern shore of MD, southern DE, and VA portions
-Fredneck, Hagerstown, possibly Cumberland, Martinsburg, WV
-York/Gettysburg, South Central PA.
Is it fair to say, if the Ravens were around since the 50s in Baltimore or the Colts never left and were run like the Ravens from 1995 to now, would the Baltimore fan shed:
-Cover all of Maryland, aside from Garret County, Eastern Cecil County, and Montgomery/PG...even having southern MD?
-The eastern Panhandle of WV?
-The parts of PA closest to Baltimore (Harrisburg)?

Welcome to the fifth annual all time English Football League table post! Covering all four main divisions, over every single league season from the very first in 1888/89 right up until the present day, this is something I started work on to kill some free time and have kept running each year since. If you want to have a look at the previous four posts on this project you can find them here: 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022
Part One - Points Table
In order to make this work as straightforwardly as possible, I devised a scaling system whereby all points won in League 2 (or old Division Four) remain as they are, any points won in League 1 (old Division Three) are multiplied by 1.3, any points won in the Championship (old Division Two) are multiplied by 1.7, and any points won in the Premier League (old Division One) are multiplied by 2. Any points won in the National League or lower have been ignored. As always the Points Per Season also makes a return, hich I've used to indicate how efficient teams have been at earning their points over their respective histories. The original 2019 post goes into a bit more detail about why I picked this rather imperfect methodology, but I'm satisfied that it does the job.
All league status is correct as to the end of the 2022-23 season (ie, Leeds, Leicester, and Southampton are listed as Championship, Burnley, Sheffield United, and Luton are Premier League etc). Also, wins from seasons in which a win was worth two points have all been given an extra point in order to bring them in line with three points for a win seasons.

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	PPS	Points
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	131.9	15695
2	Manchester United	Premier League	120	130.2	15618
3	Arsenal	Premier League	119	124.6	14823
4	Manchester City	Premier League	120	117.7	14127
5	Everton	Premier League	124	113.9	14127
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	112.0	13888
7	Sunderland	Championship	122	108.5	13233
8	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	110.2	13113
9	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	105.0	13017
10	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	107.7	12924
11	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	104.0	12902
12	Chelsea	Premier League	107	120.2	12866
13	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	107.0	12844
14	Derby County	League One	124	103.3	12807
15	Sheffield Wednesday	Championship	120	104.4	12522
16	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	111.4	12482
17	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	100.0	12403
18	Burnley	Premier League	124	99.9	12388
19	Preston North End	Championship	124	99.6	12353
20	Birmingham City	Championship	120	100.9	12111
21	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	97.7	12111
22	Leicester City	Premier League	118	102.5	12096
23	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	104.8	11845
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	99.9	11392
25	Leeds United	Championship	96	114.7	11013
26	Blackpool	League One	115	91.5	10523
27	West Ham United	Premier League	97	106.3	10307
28	Bristol City	Championship	101	101.9	10293
29	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	100.1	10215
30	Notts County	League Two	120	83.6	10027
31	Barnsley	League One	114	87.5	9973
32	Fulham	Premier League	105	95.0	9970
33	Southampton	Championship	96	100.6	9656
34	Bury	Defunct	116	82.7	9597
35	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	83.8	9388
36	Portsmouth	League One	96	96.8	9291
37	Norwich City	Championship	97	94.9	9206
38	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	96	95.5	9165
39	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	95.7	9095
40	Cardiff City	Championship	96	93.8	9007
41	Millwall	Championship	96	93.5	8974
42	Oldham Athletic	National League	104	86.0	8946
43	Hull City	Championship	107	83.5	8934
44	Coventry City	Championship	97	91.9	8913
45	Bradford City	League Two	109	81.0	8830
46	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	80.7	8639
47	Watford	Championship	96	89.7	8609
48	Luton Town	Premier League	94	91.1	8559
49	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	108.4	8459
50	Reading	League One	96	87.9	8439
51	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	87.8	8431
52	Port Vale	League One	107	78.1	8362
53	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	86.9	8344
54	Brentford	Premier League	96	86.8	8334
55	Lincoln City	League One	110	73.4	8072
56	Leyton Orient	League One	105	76.2	8006
57	Swindon Town	League Two	96	81.6	7835
58	Chesterfield	National League	100	77.4	7739
59	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	80.0	7604
60	Walsall	League Two	95	79.6	7558
61	Stockport County	League Two	100	74.6	7457
62	Rotherham United	Championship	91	81.6	7428
63	Swansea City	Championship	96	77.3	7424
64	Northampton Town	League One	96	74.9	7194
65	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	77.1	7094
66	Southend United	National League	94	75.1	7062
67	Gillingham	League Two	89	75.5	6723
68	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	72.7	6612
69	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	66.5	6583
70	Carlisle United	League One	87	73.9	6427
71	Rochdale	National League	95	64.4	6117
72	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	66.1	6081
73	Exeter City	League One	91	66.0	6009
74	Wrexham	League Two	80	74.5	5956
75	Hartlepool United	National League	91	63.0	5735
76	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	70.6	5647
77	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	74.9	5391
78	Scunthorpe United	National League North	72	71.9	5178
79	Darlington	National League North	81	63.8	5166
80	Colchester United	League Two	71	71.5	5075
81	Torquay United	National League South	78	65.1	5074
82	York City	National League	72	67.8	4883
83	Peterborough United	League One	63	77.3	4870
84	Oxford United	League One	57	80.8	4604
85	Halifax Town	Defunct	69	63.5	4383
86	Bradford Park Avenue	Northern Premier League	51	85.2	4345
87	Newport County	League Two	71	54.9	3896
88	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	85.6	3853
89	Chester City	Defunct	66	54.2	3578
90	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	68.2	3410
91	Aldershot	Defunct	52	64.5	3356
92	Southport	National League North	50	65.7	3285
93	Cambridge United	League One	44	70.8	3114
94	Barrow	League Two	45	64.5	2903
95	Wimbledon	Defunct	27	97.6	2635
96	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	73.1	2192
97	Hereford United	Defunct	31	59.6	1847
98	Workington	Northern Premier League	26	60.7	1577
99	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	82.6	1569
100	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	62.9	1447
101	New Brighton	Defunct	22	61.9	1362
102	Gateshead	Defunct	24	56.1	1347
103	Glossop North End	North West Counties League Premier Division	17	72.9	1240
104	Barnet	National League	21	56.8	1192
105	Yeovil Town	National League South	16	67.6	1082
106	Gainsborough Trinity	Northern Premier League	16	67.3	1076
107	Burton Albion	League One	14	73.9	1034
108	Macclesfield Town	Defunct	18	51.2	922
109	Morecambe	League Two	16	56.1	897
110	Leeds City	Defunct	10	84.4	844
111	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	75.1	826
112	Stevenage	League One	13	62.6	814
113	Crawley Town	League Two	12	62.3	747
114	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	59.0	708
115	Wigan Borough	Defunct	10	68.7	687
116	Scarborough	Defunct	12	57.3	687
117	Nelson	North West Counties League Division One North	10	68.2	682
118	Merthyr Town	Southern League Premier Division South	10	58.6	586
119	Burton Swifts	Defunct	9	57.6	518
120	Ashington	Northern Premier League	8	64.6	517
121	Dagenham & Redbridge	National League	9	56.0	504
122	Rotherham County	Defunct	6	77.7	466
123	Durham City	Wearside Football League Division Two	7	63.1	442
124	Darwen	Defunct	8	51.6	413
125	Burton United	Defunct	6	61.2	367
126	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	60.3	362
127	Rushden & Diamonds	Defunct	5	62.2	311
128	Aldershot Town	National League	5	60.2	301
129	New Brighton Tower	Defunct	3	95.0	285
130	Aberdare Athletic	Defunct	6	46.5	279
131	Accrington	Defunct	5	55.2	276
132	Kidderminster Harriers	National League	5	55.0	275
133	Boston United	National League North	5	53.6	268
134	Salford City	League Two	4	66.5	266
135	Burton Wanderers	Defunct	3	78.7	236
136	Loughborough	Defunct	5	41.4	207
137	Maidstone United	Defunct	3	55.3	166
138	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	54.0	162
139	Stalybridge Celtic	Northern Premier League Division One West	2	71.5	143
140	Rotherham Town	Defunct	3	45.3	136
141	Sutton United	League Two	2	67.0	134
142	Thames	Defunct	2	50.0	100
143	Northwich Victoria	North West Counties League Premier Division	2	34.5	69
144	Middlesbrough Ironopolis	Defunct	1	47.0	47
145	Bootle	Defunct	1	45.0	45​

2023 Observations

• Despite now both having the exact same points, Manchester City overtake Everton to become the 4th most successful Football League club of all time due to City reaching the total in four fewer seasons.
• Birmingham City and Wolverhampton Wanderers are also on the exact same points after 120 shared seasons in the Football League. Wolves stay behind sue to their 4 extra seasons.
• Even with Luton's rapid climb up from non-league football they are still not the lowest placed Premier League team. They sit above Brighton, Brentford, and Bournemouth.
• Following Notts County's reentry into the Football League, Olham Athletic are now the most successful former Football League club
• AFC Wimbledon are this years highest climbers after leapfrogging two defunct clubs and Nelson FC, currently languishing in the North West Counties League Division One North
• 2023 is the second year in a row to feature no new club promoted to the Football League, with the most recent one being Sutton United in 2021

Part Two - Average Finishing Position of the Current 92
Last year I introduced a secondary ranking method, based on finishing positions rather than points won. Each club is assigned a number from 1 to 92 based on where they finish at the end of the season (1 to 20 for Premier League, 21 to 44 for Championship, etc). This is then done for every season of league football for each club and divided by the number of seasons they've spent in the Football League to give their average finishing position in the pyramid.
Unlike part 1 however, I've only included the current 92 Football League clubs. This is due to clubs such as the original Accrington only playing 5 Football League seasons in the late 1800s when there was only 1 division - meaning their average finishing position was higher than a lot of top tier mainstays.
So, here is the historical average finishing position of the 92 Football League clubs that will partake in the 2023/24 season:

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	Total Pos	Average
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	943	7.9
2	Arsenal	Premier League	119	1010	8.5
3	Everton	Premier League	124	1218	9.8
4	Manchester United	Premier League	120	1195	10.0
5	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	1197	10.7
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	1464	11.8
7	Chelsea	Premier League	107	1381	12.9
8	Manchester City	Premier League	120	1595	13.3
9	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	1676	14.1
10	Sunderland	Championship	122	2064	16.9
11	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	2239	18.1
12	West Ham United	Premier League	97	1790	18.5
13	Leeds United	Championship	96	1869	19.5
14	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	2487	20.1
15	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	2543	20.5
16	Derby County	League One	124	2618	21.1
17	Leicester City	Premier League	118	2607	22.1
18	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	2393	21.2
19	Sheffield Wednesday	Championship	120	2662	22.2
20	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	2677	22.3
21	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	2840	22.9
22	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	2760	23.0
23	Birmingham City	Championship	120	2808	23.4
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	2686	23.6
25	Southampton	Championship	96	2411	25.1
26	Burnley	Premier League	124	3257	26.3
27	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	2177	27.9
28	Preston North End	Championship	124	3733	30.1
29	Fulham	Premier League	105	3455	32.9
30	Portsmouth	League One	96	3171	33.0
31	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	3144	33.1
32	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	3552	33.2
33	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	3400	33.3
34	Norwich City	Championship	97	3242	33.4
35	Coventry City	Championship	97	3344	34.5
36	Blackpool	League One	115	4193	36.5
37	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	97	3547	36.6
38	Cardiff City	Championship	96	3758	39.1
39	Luton Town	Premier League	94	3819	40.6
40	Notts County	League Two	120	5023	41.9
41	Hull City	Championship	107	4549	42.5
42	Barnsley	League One	114	4861	42.6
43	Watford	Championship	96	4118	42.9
44	Millwall	Championship	96	4222	44.0
45	Bristol City	Championship	101	4496	44.5
46	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	5065	45.2
47	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	4465	46.5
48	Swansea City	Championship	96	4500	46.9
49	Lincoln City	League One	110	5213	47.4
50	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	2156	47.9
51	Reading	League One	96	4609	48.0
52	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	4736	49.3
53	Brentford	Premier League	96	4872	50.8
54	Bradford City	League Two	109	5589	51.3
55	Leyton Orient	League One	105	5631	53.6
56	Oxford United	League One	57	3053	53.6
57	Swindon Town	League Two	96	5194	54.1
58	Port Vale	League One	107	5795	54.2
59	Rotherham United	Championship	91	4941	54.3
60	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	5016	54.5
61	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	5287	55.7
62	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	1093	57.5
63	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	5432	59.0
64	Stockport County	League Two	100	5964	59.6
65	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	661	60.1
66	Walsall	League Two	95	5773	60.8
67	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	5541	60.9
68	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	4382	60.9
69	Carlisle United	League One	87	5346	61.4
70	Peterborough United	League One	63	3939	62.5
71	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	377	62.8
72	Gillingham	League Two	89	5614	63.1
73	Burton Albion	League One	14	885	63.2
74	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	3227	64.5
75	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	6416	64.8
76	Northampton Town	League One	96	6296	65.6
77	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	1970	65.7
78	Colchester United	League Two	71	4713	66.4
79	Cambridge United	League One	44	2945	66.9
80	Newport County	League Two	71	4803	67.6
81	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	5431	67.9
82	Exeter City	League One	91	6347	69.7
83	Barrow	League Two	45	3160	70.2
84	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	886	73.8
85	Wrexham	League Two	80	5956	74.5
86	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	1734	75.4
87	Stevenage	League One	13	987	75.9
88	Crawley Town	League Two	12	924	77.0
89	Salford City	League Two	4	308	77.0
90	Sutton United	League Two	2	158	79.0
91	Morecambe	League Two	16	1292	80.8
92	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	259	86.3​

Given the length of this post I may start have to start seperating these two parts into two posts going forwards - please let me know if you think this might make it easier to digest.
I would like to thank the Football Club History Database once again, as it is what made the original 2019 post possible. Its been extremely helpful for this project, but its also really fun to use to read about obscure defunct clubs from the 1890s.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/37722661/justin-hebert-how-teams-build-rosters-patrick-mahomes-jalen-hurts-quarterback-contracts
A lot of talk about QB extensions recently. I’m not interested in Pat’s long term deal because I think Mahomes has been allowed to loiter just outside of the Inner Circle because they trust him and, quite frankly, I believe he wants to eventually graduate into this world after his active football days are gone. Most important is the Hunt family is worth north of $15B (Forbes)so there are more financial opportunities available. We have the recently done deals of Hurts and Jackson with owners Jeffrey Laurey (worth $4.4B) and Steve Bisciotti (worth $6.4B). My question to the Cap pros is how does Herbert (Spanos family worth $2.4B) and Burrow (Mike Brown worth $925M) get paid without obliterating their rosters?

Have two open slots in a 14T PPR Dynasty Football League with a 4-round FYPD on Sunday June 4. FYPD is a slow draft with a 6-hour clock.
League is hosted on Fantrax with a league Discord for communication and trade discussion. Deeper rosters with no Kicker and no D/ST. Starting lineups are:
QB/RB/RB/WWTE and 4 FLEX alongside 10 bench spots and 4 IR.
TEAM 1 (FYPD 1.2, 2.2, 3.2, 4.2)
TEAM 2 (FYPD 1.8, 2.8, 3.8, 4.8)

A new era is under way in Green Bay, and there's a lot to cover about this offseason. First, let's set the stage.
Key Signings:
KR Keisean Nixon- the return dynamo who renewed my will to live after watching Amari Rodgers play football. Signed again on a 1 year deal worth up to $4m. And he figures to have a larger role on defense this season. This was one of the biggest wishes for packer fans this offseason, as it finally shows a dedication to building the ST unit.
S Rudy Ford- he had himself a nice 2022 and got re-signed for his efforts. It's a one year deal, and he will compete for the starting safety spot as of now.
CB Corey Ballentine- a reserve CB who I will always have a soft spot for due to his tragic draft night story. Ballentine has been re-signed and will compete for snaps in an unsettled secondary.
S Dallin Leavitt- a Rich Bisaccia re-signing. Leavitt was a quiet killer last season as a special teams ace, and he returns in that role this season.
OT Yosh Nijman- a developmental prospect that has blossomed into an serviceable swing tackle, I thought Nijman would get more on the open market than his RFA tender price. He will be back with the Pack in a LT2 and RT2 role for 2023.
Key Departures:
DT Dean Lowry- Lowry gave the Pack his best and we appreciate him, but his ceiling was evident and achieved. Devonte Wyatt was drafted as a high upside replacement. Lowry signed with the Vikings on a 2 year deal.
WR Allen Lazard- Aaron Rodgers's latest security blanket, Lazard is rejoining Rodgers on a 4y, 44m deal with the New York Jets. A quiet, consistent performer for the Packers throughout his tenure, Lazard will continue to be a sure-handed possession receiver in New York, transforming the slot position previously occupied by Elijah Moore into more of a big slot. He will also continue to mug people in the run game.
TE Robert Tonyan- Bobby Tonyan heads south to Chicago to be TE2 behind Cole Kmet. Packer fans love Tonyan for bringing pride back to the position in GB, and I honestly feel bad for him. He likely missed on his chance for a big pay day after tearing his ACL in 2021 and having a down year coming back. Now he's pushing 30, but he still provides excellent hands for the position and a great work ethic. Godspeed, buddy.
DL Jarran Reed- the big man returns to Seattle this season on a 2 year deal. Reed was just about what we expected in Green Bay- not great, not bad. He was a placeholder in a spot that Wyatt hopefully can take over.
Free Agents yet to be signed:
WR Randall Cobb, S Adrian Amos, TE Marcedes Lewis, K Mason Crosby
All members of the old guard. Cobb recently had surgery, and is a contender to rejoin Rodgers in NY. Amos had a down year, but could still have some left in the tank. I'm guessing he has an offer from GB and is weighing his options. Lewis also could be weighing his options between retirement, the Jets, or sailing into the sunset where it all began for him in Jacksonville. Mason Crosbys wife seemed to confirm on social media recently that the Packers have little interest in re-signing their all time leading scorer. Crosby made some clutch kicks for us over the years, and if this is the end, the Silver Fox will never have to buy a beer in Titletown again.
2022 season review: Record: 8-9 Oh man. 2022 was the year it all came crashing down. Green Bay tried to keep its veteran core together for a few years, appeasing Rodgers and navigating the salary cap reasonably well. But they never achieved that brass ring. Minus Davante Adams and working with a broken thumb, Rodgers struggled the most he has since his inaugural season as a starter. It's now time to address Rodgers in this post; I could write an entire entry solely on Rodgers and this past season, but I'll leave it at this: Aaron is my favorite football player of all time. He led the Packers to their greatest stretch of sustained excellence since Vince Lombardi roamed the sidelines, often with depleted rosters around him. In my opinion, hes the most talented QB to play the game. It seems a majority of Packer fans were ready to move on from the man and soured on him this offseason. Personally, I think he will be an MVP contender in NY next year and still love him. But it was time. The Jordan Love era needs to happen, if only for the front office itself needing to justify their faith in the Love pick. Rodgers and the Packers were operating on different timelines the past few years, stuck somewhere between going all in and resetting. The front office has put all their chips in on Jordan Love.
The defense was expected to be a top 5 unit, but regressed heavily. Joe Barry was under scrutiny all year long, seemingly incapable of putting his plethora of first rounders in positions to succeed. A late season push did just enough to save his job (apparently).
Favorite win: Dallas Most frustrating loss: Detroit, week 18
Rodgers's exit also raises an interesting thought: will we see the True Matt LaFleur Offense this season? Offensive deficiencies have been blamed on Lafleur himself or Rodgers's hesitancy at transitioning from a traditional west coast offense to a Shanahan-esque, motion based attack. The answer will be uncovered this year, with Jordan Love having 3 years of experience in the scheme and a first round pedigree. As a Love truther in the pre draft season who hated the pick for the Packers, I am fascinated. This pick will make or break Gute's and Lafleur's tenure.
Aside from the quarterback situation, there are lingering questions concerning LaFleur's ability to lead the team in general. The Packers have consistently laid an egg in one game every season of his tenure and have come up short in the playoffs, with some head scratching decisions rearing their head in crunch time of big games (the end of the Bucs NFC championship the most glaring). I also have questions on his staff hirings/retentions. LaFleur hired 2 dogshit ST coordinators before making the obvious choice of Basaccia. He also chose to retain Joe Barry, noted football terrorist, as defensive coordinator. I've read rumblings that Gute has more say over the staff than the head coach, which is unconfirmed but concerning. I don't mean to dump on LaFleur in this piece, only to emphasize how big of a year this is for him. I think his scheme is sound and the guys play hard for him. With Rodgers gone, I think we see less RPOs and inside zone handoffs to AJ Dillon out of shotgun. The offense will have more identity. But if there are 2 more years without the playoffs in Green Bay, the Cheeseheads will advocate for a new coach.
2023 Draft:
Positions of need: S, TE, WR, DT
Round 1, Pick 13: Lukas Van Ness, Edge, Iowa With the world expecting Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Gute stuck true to his type and drafted athletic freak LVN out of Iowa. Van Ness profiles as a Rashan Gary clone, with a high RAS score and unrefined repertoire of pass rush moves. If he works out like Gary, this is a massive hit. In the pre draft process, the only guy who could have realistically been there for GB that I had above Van Ness was Peter Skoronski. He wasn't there, and there was no doubt in my mind Gute was going for LVN afterwards. He'll rotate with Gary and Preston Smith this year, and will kick inside on certain packages. He makes Smith expendable in the future.
Round 2, Pick 42: Luke Musgrave, TE, Oregon State Musgrave has the size and athleticism to be a game changer at tight end. His tape was short but encouraging. His biggest questions are durability and how he will develop, given his late breakout and immediate injury afterwards. My comparison to his playstyle was Travis Kelce, and if he can approach even 70% of Kelce's production in a season, this is a great pick. The biggest hole on the roster was TE, and I have a feeling Gute got the top one on his board.
Round 2, Pick 50: Jayden Reed, WR, Michigan State The process of this pick was nerve wracking. I was one of many fans pounding the table for Brian Branch, the S out of Alabama. When Gute traded down instead, I was telling friends I hoped he took Jayden Reed, and that's what happened. Reed is smaller receiver who plays bigger than his size on contested catches. He carried the Michigan State offense last year after Kenneth Walker jumped to the NFL. My comparison for him is Tyler Lockett. In Green Bay, Reed will take over the slot role, and I expect him to see around 60% of offensive snaps.
Round 3, Pick 78: Tucker Kraft, TE, South Dakota State Another tight end added to a barren room. The former Jackrabbit is similar to Musgrave in a lot of ways- big, athletic, and a willing albeit unrefined blocker. Kraft's addition along with Musgraves could push the Packers into more 22 personal this season, something LaFleur wants to run but hasnt had the personnel for, and I would not be surprised to see him outsnap Musgrave if he develops quickly. I'm really hoping this is the pick that breaks Green Bays 3rd round curse (seriously look it up its so bad).
Round 4, Pick 116: Colby Wooden, Edge, Auburn A former 4 star recruit at Auburn, Wooden collected 17 sacks as a 3 year starter in the SEC and showed inside/outside versatility. He shows an ability to rush with speed and power, but is inconsistent in his pad level and technique. He anchors well in the run game and showed great gap discipline. I don't see him getting many snaps this year, but if he does I think he takes Kingsley Engabare's role on run downs.
Round 5, Pick 149: Sean Clifford, QB, Penn State A perplexing pick until I saw this man somehow has a 9 RAS. Clifford is an experienced college starter who plays with a clear understanding of his role and a passion for the game. My issues with him were accuracy, arm strength, pocket presence, and decision making. You know, playing quarterback. I did not give Clifford a draftable grade and would have preferred Jaren Hall or Max Duggan. But this is really nit picking over a 5th round pick who was drafted to be a career backup. If the staff sees something in him, I'll give it a chance.
Round 5, Pick 159: Dontayvion Wicks, WR, Virginia A 6'1, 206 lb vertical threat, Wicks was inconsistent in his career at Virginia. If he replicated his 2021 production last year, he might have found himself as a day 2 pick. Alas, a new offense and drops led to his availability at this spot. Wicks has a good release package and the ability to stack DBs and get vertical. His tendencies as a body catcher led to drops last year, and he doesn't provide much after the catch. With his profile, he'll be a WR4/5, but could be a special teams ace very early in his career.
Round 6, Pick 179: Karl Brooks, DL, Bowling Green A bit of a tweener, Brooks is a high motor, high effort pass rusher. He flashes great technique and seems to rush with a plan. He can get washed out in the run game, and will need to commit one way or another to defensive end or defensive tackle. He graded very high from PFF, so that's something. To get on the field, he'll have to show more consistency and ability when anchoring down in the run game.
Round 6, Pick 207: Anders Carlson, K, Auburn Apparently, Mason Crosby's replacement. Anders is the brother of Las Vegas kicker Daniel Carlson, who's pretty damn good. There is a connection with Basaccia there, who's known Anders since high school. I wasn't encouraged by his stats at Auburn, but I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in scouting kickers. If Basaccia says he's that dude, then that dude he is.
Round 7, Pick 232: Carrington Valentine, CB, Kentucky Valentine is a WR convert with a long, slender frame. He is at his best in press man, where he has a variety of ways to get hands on the receiver and reroute him. Unfortunately for Vallentine, Joe Barry hates press man and will kill my family if I suggest it again. Valentine's frame can lead him to get bullied by bigger WRs at times, but he is physical at the catch point. He also brings experience as a productive kick returner, something that could be helpful in the future or even this season if the staff wants to keep Nixon fresh for defensive snaps.
Round 7, Pick 235: Lew Nichols, RB, Central Michigan A big back with some intriguing traits, Nichols enjoyed a very productive 2021 before injuries hampered his 2022. Nichols has good vision, contact balance, and power as a north-south runner. He was productive catching out of the backfield, but wasn't asked to run many routes beyond that. His biggest hurdles in the NFL are going to be elusiveness and speed. He lacks both, but should be a decent backup. For the Packers, they used their RB3 less than maybe any team in the league last year. This will be the Jones&Dillon show again in 2023.
Round 7, Pick 242: Anthony Johnson Jr, S, Iowa State Johnson Jr is a converted cornerback who plays with rare physicality for someone of that description. He did his best work in the box or in the slot at Iowa State, and that may be where the Pack will try to get him some snaps this year. He can be over aggressive in his pursuits at times and take bad angles, but that is coachable. Given the state of the safety room, the 7th round rookie may find himself starting some games this season.
Round 7, Pick 256: Grant DuBose, WR, Charlotte DuBose comes from UNC Charlotte, where there apparently is a football team, and he was 2nd team all C-USA last season. DuBose has excellent size at 6'2, and I love his agility on in-breaking routes crossing the face of safeties. He has experience both outside and in the slot, and is an interesting addition to the WR battle at the bottom of the roster, which is going to be highly competitive. It may come down to how good he can be on special teams. Coaches and teammates rave about his work ethic and love of football, and he worked at Walmart while keeping himself in shape during the Covid year. I'm optimistic he can carve out a role for himself and make the team.
Overall, Gutekunst drafted for need at times in this draft, but still stuck to picking guys that fit his type: big, athletic, and versatile. My biggest shock was not taking a safety until the 7th round, but I think it just never lined up with his board. There was an obvious effort to surround Love with talented pass catchers, which is a breath of fresh air from this team. I was surprised that they didn't take a single offensive linemen, given this is almost certainly Bakh's last year in the green and gold and question marks surrounding some of our young guys, but we drafted 3 linemen last year and the staff may have high hopes for Zach Tom to be the next left tackle. The franchise has earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to scouting and developing OL.
All told, 2023 is the most excited I've been for a Packer season in a few years. There are so many unknown variables surrounding the team, from Jordan Loves development to LaFleur's offense to Joe Barry's pending glue eating scandal. Media pundits have them ranked somewhere between 20 & 26 in the league hierarchy heading into the year. Personally, I'm a little higher on the Pack, and they will shoot up these rankings if Jordan Love delivers. There's a lot on Love's shoulders. This is the season we've been waiting for with baited breath for 3 years, the post-Rodgers era, and now it's here, for better or worse.

Disclaimer: This post is long, so you may want to save it and read it later. Also, I put a lot of time into both researching this and writing it up. So if all you have is negative feedback, kindly keep it to yourself. Finally, there’s a lot more that I’ve been looking into beyond the scope of this write-up. If you’d like to join my exp-LORE-ation efforts, please let me know.
Recap: Part 1 establishes that Colonel is the same kid who was playing with his “baer frends” at the Palace of the Winding Path. Part 2 establishes that Darius Angler was the author of the 4 Untitled Poems.
Edit: Hyperlinks don't seem to be working so I'm manually pasting my references to parts 1 and 2.
https://www.reddit.com/fo76/comments/1327e9a/lore_discovery_responder_colonel_flatwoods_was/
https://www.reddit.com/fo76/comments/135xf3y/lore_discovery_part_2_responder_colonels_postwa
TLDR (mad spoilers up in here): Fishbones led the raid that killed Colonel and all the Responders in Flatwoods, and he could very well be Darius Angler’s brother. Colonel may have been up to something nefarious with the children of Flatwoods (but not in that way). Ra Ra might be Ward’s granddaughter. And it looks like mole rat teeth are used to craft Day Tripper.
​
We Begin at the End: November 2096. 13 Bridge Street, Flatwoods, WV. Responder Colonel died in the raider attack on Flatwoods, along with just about every other Responder that resided there. The raiders attacked because a Chem Addict stole all their food and chems and fled to Flatwoods. You can find her body and holotape just West of the river. But before we get to that, we need to look at what Colonel was up to before he died. Most people probably overlooked this detail because they haven’t explored Flatwoods since they were level 3, and at that point they didn’t have a jetpack or the Marsupial mutation. But Colonel’s front AND back porches are completely railed off. If you make it over the front railing, you’ll find the corpses of Colonel and (likely) the raider that killed him, Colonel’s second “Survivor Story,” and a stroller with an intact doll in it. Colonel was the “caregiver for children” in Flatwoods, so the stroller may have once been for an actual baby.
But on the back porch, Colonel was burning books, files, documents, and the contents of a mysterious duffel back on his grill. Colonel definitely had a secret and he was literally trying to burn the evidence. And that secret was his past with the Diehards and Darius Angler. If you follow the road West out of Flatwoods, you’ll eventually arrive at Hillfolk Hotdogs, which is the site of Untitled Poem #3 and the former home of Colonel when he lived with Angler as a child (you can find one of his “baer frends” on the kid-sized bunk bed). But inside the bus(?) at Hillfolk’s, you’ll also find similar documents and a duffel bag, just like the kind Colonel was burning in Flatwoods when he died. As a matter of fact, there are other similarly suspicious duffel bags and file caches along the Ohio River. And this takes us to Ohio River Adventures.
Fishbones is a Dirty Rat Bastard: In the exact same way that the Diehards returned to Crater, a former territory of theirs (and site of Untitled Poem #2), the Diehards also returned to Ohio River Adventures. Now, O.R.A. gets overlooked because there is no main quest line that keeps you returning to this area (maybe the grind for Raider Rep), but this place is former Diehard territory too. Now, it is critically important to know that both Fishbones (Bones) and Blackeye are O.G. Diehards. Blackeye was almost certainly Colonel’s 1st grade teacher back at the Palace of the Winding Path. But what about Bones? Well, my friends, I bet I’m about to tell you something you didn’t already know:
When Margie McClintock died in 2096 (as inferred what Rose tells us during the main quest), Meg Groberg took over and soon thereafter led the Diehards out of Appalachia before returning years later (that, you already knew). You probably also already knew that before Margie died, Meg and the other Diehards went against protocol and “shot first” when robbing people. Meg was a true raider in all the ways that Margie was not. But what you probably didn’t put together is that Margie died around the time that Flatwoods was attacked. According to the Chem Addict from Flatwoods:
“Chems Addict: Well, this is it I guess. Rock bottom I think they call it. I still miss him. Billy. I knew he was too young for me, but he made me feel good. Though it's the old Billy I really miss. The one who used to do nothing all day with me but listen to the radio and drink. I shoulda got out sooner when Billy and his buddies started torturing little cats and dogs. His friends... were no good. But that didn't stop me anyway. I can't believe my wake up call was watching people's heads... get stuck on spikes. So... what is an old gal like me to do? Steal all the food. Steal all the chems. And get the hell out of there. *laughs* I'd trade my last bite of food just to see the look on their faces. Oh, I know it's going to piss off Billy's friends, but I don't give a damn. I tell myself I should feel sorry for the little town across the river. But if I'm being honest, and that's what this tape is for, I don't really care. I call myself an addict, but it ain't the chems that finally got me. It was always Billy.”
I want to emphasize the “heads on spikes” part, because that’s something Margie would never tolerate. But Meg on the other hand let raiders be raiders. The other thing that I want to point out is “Billy.” I’m not saying for certain that this Billy is the same as Darius Angler’s brother, but I am saying that technically no body was ever recovered from the molten steel, and Angler didn’t see the accident happen because he didn’t work at Grafton Steel anymore. It’s possible that “Billy Angler,” who didn’t quit because “he needs the money,” could have taken out some kind of insurance policy, named his chem addict girlfriend as the beneficiary, faked his own death, and skipped town. Do I know for certain that this happened? Of course not. But what I do know is this: FISHBONES’S REAL NAME IS BILLY!!! The reason he’s obsessed with the letter B is because that’s his first initial. You see, at first I thought the raiders that wrecked Flatwoods were Cutthroats because of their whole feud with the Responders. But then I learned that the Flatwoods attack was caused by a bunch of chems that the Addict stole, and the Diehards were Appalachia’s great chems supplier (thanks to Angler). Furthermore, Fishbones’s current operation is spiking Mirelurk meat with an addictive substance (chems). And since Bones is an OG Diehard, it means he was the piece-of-shit raider that attacked Flatwoods and killed Colonel.
https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Fishbones
A Bit About Bruiser: I found a few interesting details about Bruiser at Ohio River Adventures, but nothing too profound. We know that he used to play football, his mascot was a “battle bear,” and that he spent some time in a vault. The likeliest conclusion from this information is that he’s from Grafton, given that’s the only high school in the region with a football field and it’s next to the makeshift vault that formerly housed a few raiders before the BOS took over. If you look up the IRL Grafton High School, you’ll find that it’s on Yates Ave (likely the namesake of Sofie Yates, a Responder turned Raider in Flatwoods) and their mascot is the “Bearcat.” Also, all the varsity jackets in FO76 have the letter B on them, but that’s more Fishbones’s thing. But none of this has anything to do with Colonel or Angler, so let’s move on.
The Charleston Cartel (2079-2082): From the Charleston Capitol Building terminal entries, we know there was a massive chem trade happening in Charleston at this time:
“Name: Matoukas, George
Date of Crime: 10.09.81
Description:
300 Block of Oak. Based on anonymous tip, Responder Atkins found subject peddling vast amounts of illegal chems out of his home. Over 300lbs of illegal chems found in the subject's basement.
Resolution:
Matoukas sentenced to 5 years hard labor under close supervision, with possibility of parole for good behavior. Chems were seized and destroyed.”
Since the Diehards’ operation at the Palace of the Winding Path effectively ended with the great rapture of ‘79, it only makes sense that the Diehards would have to adapt their drug trade elsewhere. If you actually look for raider activity in Charleston (outside of the courthouse), you won’t find a lot, but what you will find is very telling of their operations. You’ll find a dead raider at the chemistry workbench inside Hornwright Industrial Headquarters. You’ll find a few dead raiders in/above the pharmacy on the south side of town. And you’ll find a dead raider lurking outside the doctors’ offices (which is NOT the hospital) to the north. And this takes us to Dr. Joseph.
https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Joseph_(Fallout_76))
Dr. Joseph was a psychiatrist in Charleston who practiced both before AND after the Great War. He had the authority to refer patients to Allegheny Asylum and write prescriptions; Prescriptions that would be filled at the pharmacy on the south side of Charleston. To one patient, P. Davis, he prescribed Day Tripper. This insightful detail is why the Diehards were operating in Charleston in the first place. As many seasoned players have observed, Day Tripper is not craftable in this game; You can only find it out in the wild. Consider the following terminal entry from the Palace of the Winding Path:
“Log: 12.29.77 Since the war, incense ingredients have been hard to come by. We started rationing weeks ago, in anticipation of this, and doses are much lower. The sedative effects of the incense are a priority, to keep people from freaking out.
I've begun to improvise with some other ingredients and found some creative ways of stretching the supply, at least until things return to relative normal. Other chem supplies are plentiful.”
So here’s what I think happened. If the Diehards were in dire need of Day Tripper to make their custom chems (see: Making Incense), and the Responders had a healthy supply of Day Tripper locked inside a pharmacy in Charleston, and there was also a doctor who wrote prescriptions for Day Tripper, then all the Diehards needed to do was register a new patient with Dr. Joseph. Enter: Darius Angler.
Darius Angler was batshit crazy (if in doubt, refer to his manifesto). Angler, who now resided at Hillfolk Hotdogs, was also just a short trip up the New River from Charleston. He would periodically visit Dr. Joseph, get his prescription filled like a meth-head scoring Sudafed, and used the trip as a cover to smuggle the refined chems into the city. Essentially, I think he just made a loop around the southwest “island” of the Forest (area surrounded on all sides by 3 rivers, referred to as “Zone D”). The loop around Zone D functioned as a supply chain/assembly line for producing the chems that were being smuggled into Charleston. There’s a lot of suspicious stuff happening around here: Raider activity, duffel bags/files, bridge control, coffin conspiracies, etc. that I had to edit out for length, but I’ll try to summarize it here.
Hillfolk Hotdogs is where Angler and Colonel raised mole rats for reasons I’ll explain later. Follow the Ohio River south and you’ll soon come to a boat that’s not far away from a crashed truck loaded up with industrial chemical barrels (useful for producing industrial quantities of chems). South of that is a tent with a duffel bag. Further south you’ll find a 3-story house with suspicious files and a duffle bag hidden in the attic (just like at Hillfolk’s). South of that are some dry-docked boats with a chem box and a duffel bag. Even further south is Ohio River Adventure (a current Raider base of operation that served a similar purpose back then). Southeast of there, by Lewis & Sons, is a little “boat” with 2 stuffed bears, which I think was left behind by Colonel as he reenacted his river adventures with Angler using his bears. Southeast of there is a floating Nuka-Cola structure with a submerged safe guarded by 2 more bears, one of which has a liquor bottle. I think this is a dead drop and the bears are another work of Colonel’s. Heading East up the River you’ll find a raider-operated “store” at the end of a questionable bridge. Further east is Charleston, where George Matoukas was distributing the chems. And on the return trip down the New River is another dead drop directly beneath the Bridge on the west side. It’s a safe by a couch with a bear and Jangles (I think Jangles is supposed to represent George). Again, I think that this big loop is a supply chain/assembly line for moving chems and the components needed to make chems.
The smuggling operation also deviously involved Colonel and his “Baer Frends.” If you jetpack up to the very top of AVR Medical Center, you’ll find two people who OD’ed on chems, each with a stuffed bear next to them. So I think that either the Diehards were sewing chems inside Colonel’s stuffed bears and using them as drug mules to smuggle chems into Charleston, or that Colonel just climbed to the highest point on the hospital (as he did at the Palace and later in Flatwoods) and left two bears as a memorial. But I’m leaning toward the former because of an unmarked location in the Savage Divide that I found. It’s southeast of Bastion Park right at the bend of the monorail line. It’s essentially a fire pit with a bunch of stuffed bears thrown in it with a few dead party-goers around the area. I think this is the location where the Responders destroyed all of the Chems, bears and all, that they confiscated from George Matoukas. Speaking of George Matoukas….
Curious George and the Rocket: According to the above-mentioned terminal entry, George Matoukas was apparently the only criminal who the Responders sentenced to hard labor rather than exile. If you go to Rollins Labor Camp (formerly Rollins Work Camp), you won’t find a whole lot there other than Blood Eagles. But what you WILL find at the very top of the crane structure are two stuffed bears and a Jangles. Colonel, as a child, had a thing for playing with “baer frends in high places.” I can’t say with any certainty what happened here, but maybe Angler was the one who gave the responders that “anonymous tip” because Matoukas was starting to rub off on Colonel, and Angler didn’t want him growing up to be a Raider. Matoukas gets sentenced to hard labor rather than exile, with a change of parole pending “good behavior,” which means “snitching.” So maybe Angler took Colonel to visit his “friend” at the labor camp (visiting hours are a thing), Angler introduced George to a “rocket,” and Colonel used his toys to recreate the scene. Or not. Who knows? But what I do know is that the shitty poet (Angler) moved on from Hillfolk Hotdogs to go to the Cranberry Bog, and I think the Christmas Flood gave him the perfect reason to leave.
Untitled Poem #3: I’m intentionally skipping Untitled Poem #2, partly because I haven’t found much deeper meaning to it, but mostly because what I think it means is little more than conjecture. #3, on the other hand, I feel like I can make sense of it:
“white cedar leaning against the shadow of our river
peeling like asylum walls
hobbled together around dignity that died long ago
simple things to jumpstart fogged memories
holed as teeth hidden in tin
we leave our things pinned
winning only the stuck wings”
I think the phrase “white cedar leaning against the shadow of our river” is the title of the painting in Dr. Joseph’s office. Or at least that’s how Darius Angler would describe it as if it was some kind of Rorschach test. “Peeling like asylum walls, hobbled together around dignity that died long ago” is a reference to the office wallpaper, and perhaps another one of Dr. Joseph’s clients, Daniel Boone.
“Patient: "Boone, D"
Observations:
Interesting case.
Patient responds only to "Daniel Boone" and indeed seems to believe himself to be the historical figure by the same name. I'd heard that some of the hillfolk can end up a bit off after lack of socialization, but I'd not expected to see such a case.
Advised that he be sent to Allegheny rather than the Penitentiary for further observation.”
There’s only a VERY narrow window of plausibility to suggest that Angler is Daniel Boone, so I won’t. But this entry seems to refer back to Untitled Poem #3, with worlds like “hillfolk” (as in Hillfolk Hotdogs), “Allegheny” (as in asylum), and “the historical figure” (as in dignity that died long ago). I think the line “simple things to jumpstart fogged memories'' refers to the Souvenir Magnet on the fridge at Hillfolk Hotdogs, and I think it came from Lady Janet’s Soft Serve (not Cow Spot Creamery). “Holed as teeth hidden in tin” refers to the mole rats that he was raising with Colonel at Hillfolk’s (the cat bowl on the floor is for the mole rat that walks around the trailer like Fry’s dog from Futurama, just waiting for Colonel to come home). And “we leave our things pinned, winning only the stuck wings,” refers to Angler’s (and Colonel’s) escape from the Diehards. I’m assuming this event took place just after the Christmas flood, once the chem operation in Charleston was destroyed with the rest of the city. But if you remember those dead raiders I mentioned earlier, there are a few more. Outside of Dr. Joseph’s office is a dead raider next to an ammo box. Well, next to him is a makeshift bridge that goes over the highway. And if you keep going in the same direction once you step off the bridge you’ll hit the southwest corner of Wade Airport. Immediately in that corner past the fence is a locked truck-trailer (watch out for the mine) with 2 more dead raiders and a power armor chassis (sometimes). I think the last line of the poem refers to this exact event, leaving his power armor (and compatriots) pinned in the back of the trailer so he can steal yet another Vertibird. Angler flew the automated aircraft to Watoga. Why? I don’t know. But it explains how he got to the Cranberry Bog and why his body can be found just a short distance south of the city.
Untitled Poem #4: Just like #2, I don’t have any deep insight into the specifics so all I can do is speculate. I’ll spare you the details. But what I think it’s about is the very end of his relationship with Colonel. I think the time Angler and Colonel spent together in the unmarked cabin southeast of Sunrise Field was just Angler teaching Colonel to be self-sufficient (hunting, trapping, maintaining weapons and whatnot). I think that when the scorched attacked Harper’s Ferry in 2086 that there was also generally increased scorched activity in the eastern half of Appalachia. The poem describes Angler providing cover fire to, or perhaps just drawing fire away from Colonel as escaped through Big Bend Tunnel, later to be found by the Responders. But again, like with #2, all I can do with this poem is speculate.
The Mysterious Mole Rats: This is a question I’ve had for almost 2 years now, and I think I finally figured it out. Back at the Palace of the Winding Path, there’s a lonely mole rat that lives in the computer room by the garden. There’s also a dead mole rat next to a dead raider pilot by a downed plane that was headed to the Palace from the north. I didn’t know what the Diehards needed mole rats for because I was only looking at the Palace itself. But the answer to this question is found at Lady Janet’s. Everyone thinks that the two bears in gas masks by the chemistry is just a Breaking Bad easter egg. But I think it’s yet another “baer frend” reenactment left behind by Colonel. Do you remember how the cultists at the Palace ran out of ingredients to make the “spiritual incense” and had to improvise? Well, one of the substitute ingredients they used, and the reason they were importing mole rats, and the reason the Diehards took care of the children like they did, is found in the baby carriage at Lady Janet’s.
A basket full of human jaw bones? Yeah…. Teeth. Or more precisely, “baby teeth.” I suppose mole rat teeth would do in a pinch, but as messed up as it sounds human baby teeth were preferred. This is why the Diehards at the Palace were taking care of those first-graders; because six-year-olds shed baby teeth like it’s raining molars! This also answers a question you didn’t even know you had, and it takes us back to Flatwoods. Here’s a note written by Jeremiah Ward who lived in trailer in the town (and the Ransacked Bunker before that):
“I, Jeremiah Ward, resident in the town of Flatwoods, county of... not sure.
Being of sound mind, and not acting under... duress. Mostly.
Hereby declare this letter to be my last will and testament.
Mia gets the house, and everything in it.
It ain't much but that's all I got to give and... she's all I got.
I know she's still alive.
The Responders say the dogs got her, but I know it ain't true.
They been real good to us. Teaching an old geezer like me how to really cook is something. I'll give em that.
But I know they lyin about those dogs. I seen em in the hills. There's some bad folks scoping us out. They took my granddaughter, I just know it.
I'll get you back, Mia. I promise.”
Mia, a baby who slept in the crib in that trailer, was abducted by raiders. And the only raider gang that ever had any interest in kids was the Diehards. And when you remember that the Responders had a foster care program that would later be run by Colonel once he was older, you’ll remember that a shit load of children went “missing” when Billy (Fishbones) attacked Flatwoods. And if teeth (baby, mole rat, or otherwise) was the secret ingredient in Angler’s chem recipe… and Colonel was Angler’s apprentice for a number of years before he joined the Responders… and Colonel was the caretaker of all of the children of Flatwoods… then exactly what was in those documents that Colonel was burning on his back porch?
Full Circle: So after everything, the Diehards lost their crop of children at the Palace of the Winding Path in 2079, but took the children of Flatwoods and left Appalachia. When they came back, they put Fishbones (Billy) in charge of the Ohio River Adventures operation, who is now spiking the mirelurk meat with a potent chem. It’s totally possible that Ra Ra is actually Mia Ward (Jeremiah Ward’s granddaughter). Hell, it’s even possible that Jeremiah Ward is somehow Ward from Foundation. Since Colonel was obviously keeping, and subsequently burning, secrets, I’d say he was also inclined to keep his raider past a secret as well as the truth about his adoptive father. Like he said in his Survivor’s Story, “he was bad.” Perhaps the reason he kept his Diehard history a secret from the Dassa and the other Responders was because he knew that the Responders were the ones punishing and exiling people back in Charleston. But this whole story began the day Darius Angler decided to get revenge on Grafton Steel. And if his brother hadn’t actually died after all, then it would explain why Angler stayed with the Diehards for as long as he did rather than returning to the Free states. Regardless, this entire story began and ended with Billy. “It was always Billy.”

Layout:
— Individual Team News + Stone’s Cold Takes
— Miscellaneous/Other NFL News
— Restaurant of the Week - Washington D.C.
Arizona Cardinals:

• Released WR DeAndre Hopkins and he listed out info about what he wants in his next team:
  
  • Josh Allen, Jalen Hurts, Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Justin Herbert
  • He wants stable management and a great defense
• Some folks in AZ were upset with Hopkins because he sat out the last couple of games
  
• S Budda Baker says he will be at camp when its time for him to be there
  

After some decent news the last couple weeks for this organization there wasn’t really anything great from this week besides maybe the fact that if WR DeAndre Hopkins was a distraction to the team he now no longer is one. It will be interesting to see how things play out this year.
Atlanta Falcons:

• FB Keith Smith was arrested on traffic charges
  
  • Driving with a suspended license he claims was a misunderstanding
• K Younghoe Koo didn’t ask for money from RB Bijan Robinson to give him his number but asked him to pick a charity at some point down the road to donate to
  
• Will have joint practices with the Dolphins
  
• Signed:
  
  • WR JJ Arcega-Whiteside

It sounds like the situation with Keith Smith should get resolved rather quickly and was more of a misunderstanding than anything else. It will be fun for this young team to have joint practices with Miami and it will be a good way for their defense to get an initial test from an elite offense. I am sure the Dolphins won’t reveal all of their tricks but either way they will have to worry about guarding an elite offense with elite playmakers.
Baltimore Ravens:

• QB Lamar Jackson expects a more pass-heavy offense under new OC Todd Monken
• WR Michael Thomas separate his shoulder and could require labrum surgery
• WR Rashod Bateman who just played just 6 games was on the field for OTAs on Monday
• Waived Daelin Hayes
• S Kyle Hamilton excited for expanded role with the team
• Tony Jefferson is retiring and joining the team as a scout
• Signed:
  
  • DL Angelo Blackson
  • QB Josh Johnson

It is crazy to think about how just about a month ago the news around the Ravens was all negative and that it seemed like the relationship with Lamar was fractured. Now here we are and Lamar seems about as happy as can be and is excited about the offense that is being installed under new OC Todd Monken. It will be exciting for him as well to have WR Rashod Bateman back who I still think can be a key playmaker on the team. It appears the Ravens could be set for big things even in a tough division.
Buffalo Bills:

• No surprise, QB Josh Allen is hyper-focused and wants to win a Super Bowl
• S Damar Hamlin is back out working out on the field
• WR Stefon Diggs did not attend OTAs
• EDGE Von Miller guarantees he will play by week 6 but is not rushing anything
• Signed:
  
  • S Dean Marlowe
  • Joel Wilson

Great to see the that S Damar Hamlin was back out practicing. I know it has been some time since his collapse on the field but it still feels like yesterday that I was watching that game in complete shock at what I had witnessed and worry for him and his family. WR Stefon Diggs being absent at OTAs is not a big deal to me. QB Josh Allen has a lot of other guys he needs to get familiar and work in with anyways and a lot of star players don’t attend OTAs to either get rest/recovery or to do their own workouts with their private coaches. I imagine he and Kincaid will be deadly this year and who knows they may even have WR DeAndre Hopkins joining them as the Bills were one of two teams that inquired and had talks about a trade for him.
Carolina Panthers:

• TE Hayden Hurst is recovering from sports hernia surgery
• QB Bryce Young is taking most of the first team reps

Not too much news here other than what we saw and heard from OTAs about Bryce Young getting to take most of the 1st team reps. It appears that he looked good and his teammates were saying great things about him. It is tough to judge any quarterback though in the offseason because no matter what folks always say their young or new quarterback is looking amazing and things are progressing nicely. I will say though I have heard the most good things coming out from camps about him and Anthony Richardson of the Colts.
Chicago Bears:

• QB Justin Fields excited about the growth WR Chase Claypool had over offseason
• Got permission to begin demolition of Arlington Park racetrack

Good news for Chicago fans who are excited for their move. It seems that things are proceeding nicely with the process of moving to a new stadium. Also, great to hear that Chase Claypool may be able to make more of a difference this year. It would be hard to be less effective than what he was last year for this team. I still believe he can be a major impact player like many expected him to be when he entered the league. It will be key for him to become Fields’ go to receiver over some of the other talent they have on the team.
Cincinnati Bengals:

• Want to sign WR Tee Higgins and LB Logan Wilson to long term extensions
• Have made their initial push for QB Joe Burrow

This team has a lot to do in terms of contracts that they need to get figured out. The team view Tee Higgins in very high regard and so does Joe Burrow as they should. They also really want to get Logan Wilson signed. However, what will come out to being the biggest of the contracts they do this offseason is that of Joe Burrow. What will continue to make things tough here is the longer it takes for Justin Hebert to get his deal done because Burrow will likely be the last of the 4 quarterbacks to sign his because it is presumed he will get the most money and has an agent who like to wait til the last minute.
Cleveland Browns:

• WR Elijah Moore feels good now that he feels wanted with his new team
• EDGE Za’Darius Smith is excited to be facing the Ravens this year

All good news for Browns fans so far. The team is looking good and their appears to be a lot of good vibes coming out of practice. WR DeAndre Hopkins is even considering coming to Cleveland for the chance to play with his old QB. Also, WR Elijah Moore is looking crisp and at least for the moment it appears he is much happier. It will all depend on if he actually gets the ball thrown to him during the season though.
Dallas Cowboys:

• HC Mike McCarthy is keeping offense in Dak’s language despite the changeup in play callers

Not too much news here which is good for this franchise because they are almost always the center of attention. The main thing I took away from this week was just that things seems to be going well with McCarthy and Dak working together on the offense but that there have been some growing pains at least initially getting used to new systems as expected.
Denver Broncos:

• Waived Hunter Thedford with injury settlement
• Released K Brandon McManus
• K Brett Maher worked out for the team
• QB Russell Wilson has lost a lot of weight this offseason
• HC Sean Payton excited about what S Kareem Jackson can do to help team
• RB Javonte Williams was limited in OTAs starting on Thursday
• Signed:
  
  • T Cam Fleming to a 1-year $4m deal
  • DT Tyler Lancaster

It appeared to shock just about everyone when the news broke about K Brandon McManus getting released because he had become a fan favorite over the years in Denver. QB Russell Wilson has lost a lot of weight and it is evident just from seeing him this offseason. I didn’t think his weight was the issue hindering him last year but hopefully he can feel he is playing at a healthier weight. What I think most Denver fans were excited to see was RB Javonte Williams back on the practice field. He is going to end up being the real difference maker this year and whether this team competes with the top of the AFC or not will largely depend on him making the rest of the offense’s life easy or not.
Detroit Lions:

• Former WR Calvin Johnson was at OTAs this week after having been away from the organization following a rough falling out post-retirement
• RB David Montgomery said that losing with the Bears “sucked the fun out of the game”
• WR Jameson Williams says that he didn’t know about the gambling policy; HC Dan Campbell feels he is miles ahead in terms of his talent already
• Traded an undisclosed draft pick for K Riley Patterson
  
  • Signed a 1-year $2.35m deal
• RB David Montgomery and LB Malcolm Rodriguez left practice due to injury
  
• Team has done their homework on free agent WR DeAndre Hopkins
  
• NFL is investigation another Lions player about league gambling rules violations
  
• Signed:
  
  • OL Germain Ifedi
  • Max Pircher through international player pathway program

A lot of news here. Let’s start with the bad news. It appears that they may be having more penalties come down on their team/players due to the league’s gambling policy as their is an ongoing investigation into a 5th player from the team. Also, David Montgomery and Malcolm Rodriguez left the field with injuries. It is still early though and they appear to be minor injuries so hopefully it won’t affect them in the long term. Now some good news. It sounds like WR Jameson Williams is progressing nicely and the team got a new kicker in Riley Patterson from the Jaguars who should help the improve there. Lastly and maybe the biggest news is that Calvin “Megatron” Johnson was at OTAs hanging out with coaches and players. Many are hoping those good vibes carry over into the season.
Green Bay Packers:

• Signed:
  
  • WR Jadakis Bonds
• Cut TE Nick Guggemos
  
• Will host the 2025 NFL Draft
  
• HC Matt LaFleur is please with Jordan Love but still need to work on a lot of things
  

Exciting news that Green Bay will get the draft in 2025! I was thinking they would try and stick to more southern states but they clearly are willing to go North with Detroit and now Green Bay being the hosts of the next two. HC Matt LaFleur appears to be being honest with everything and trying to temper expectations a bit with Jordan Love taking over. This could be to help take pressure off of Love and also just be the flat out truth that with any young quarterback it is going to take some time.
Houston Texans:

• Appears DeMeco Ryans may not be too sure about pursuing Jadeveon Clowney
• HC DeMeco Ryans expects the o-line to be a strength for this team
• Currently it is a QB competition between Davis Mills and CJ Stroud
  
  • Other teams have been inquiring about QB Davis Mills

I am not surprised about DeMeco Ryans hesitancy about pursuing Jadeveon Clowney. First of all he just may not want to reveal his cards to others in the league about what he is thinking. The other thing is that he is one that likes for his defense to have an identity and a really good work ethic. I am not saying that Clowney can’t fit that mold but it just makes the selection process for what Ryans wants on defense that much more thorough. The other news that surprised some but something I mentioned a couple of weeks ago is that QB Davis Mills will compete with Stroud for the starting job and is viewed as a desirable QB to other teams around the league. I know his stats haven’t been the best but I am not sure any of the young quarterbacks would have done well with what the Texans organization has been the last couple years. At the end of the day CJ Stroud will end up being the team’s starter due to draft status and probably will be the more talented, better option.
Indianapolis Colts:

• No timetable for Shaquille Leonard to resume practicing
• QB Anthony Richardson was running a similar offense to what Jalen Hurts has run in Philly and was very impressive (splitting 1st team reps)
• Signed:
  
  • TE Kaden Smith

Overall things seems to be good for the organization. The main thing we are all waiting on is when Shaq Leonard will be able to get back out there and start practicing. It makes sense not to have him practicing now since things are optional anyways. The hype has been there for QB Anthony Richardson thus far and it appears he may be closer to starting right away than a lot of people thought.
Jacksonville Jaguars:

• Traded K Riley Patterson to the Lions for an undisclosed draft pick
• RB Travis Etienne looking forward to doing some fine-tuning this year
• Signed Brandon McManus

Not too much news out of Jacksonville other than the change at the kicker position. Things got busy and they were able to trade K Riley Patterson to the Lions rather than release like the reports had said prior. Then they went out and got a proven veteran in K Brandon McManus who had just been released from the Broncos squad. This team is going to be interesting this year and will go as far QB Trevor Lawrence can take them. Does not hurt to have the veteran kicker for the big moments that could be coming for this organization.
Kansas City Chiefs:

• HC Andy Reid is not a fan of the kickoff rule change hinting at the NFL getting closer to being flag football
  
  • TE Travis Kelce is not happy about it either
• QB Patrick Mahomes addressed contract saying he cares more about Super Bowls
  
• LB Nick Bolton doesn’t think the defense gets enough credit
  
• QB Patrick Mahomes says that it has been a smooth transition to new OC Matt Nagy
  
• HC Andy Reid feels fullbacks have been phased out of the NFL and that the Chiefs will not be using one
  

HC Andy Reid who normally is pretty quiet and doesn’t get too involved was in front of the media a lot this week it felt like. First, he is not a fan of the new kickoff rule and it appears most coaches are not. Second, he talked about how the team will not be using a FB because they are being phased out of the NFL and he feels that the TEs they have on the team can play the role when needed. Overall it seems things are going well for the Chiefs and things could be a going a lot better here soon as they appear to be a top option for WR DeAndre Hopkins and one the few teams that had trade talks before he was released.
Las Vegas Raiders:

• Former QB Tom Brady reached an agreement to be a minority owner of the team
• QB Jimmy Garoppolo had to have foot surgery after signing with the team and there is not timetable for his return - believe he should return before the season
  
  • Things could get interesting depending on how situation with Jimmy G works out
• WR Davante Adams is not happy about the current QB situation with the Raiders
  
  • Adams and team have been sued by the photographer he shoved last year
• Will have joint practices with the 49ers
  

It appears there is never a dull week with the Raiders. The news this week about Jimmy seem to add context potentially to what Davante Adams’ comments were about recently. With Tom Brady recently joining the ownership group here it makes us all wonder if the injury is not cleared up is there a way for him to un-retire once again…only time will tell.
Los Angeles Chargers:

• Signed:
  
  • RB Austin Ekeler to a new deal for this final year that added on up to $2m in incentives

Big news here getting the deal done with Austin Ekeler even if it still only keeps him around for 1 year. Thankfully now he should be semi-happy for that one year before he can go out and chase a big contract if he wants to.
Los Angeles Rams:
Not much news here really. Sounds like Matthew Stafford has taken Stetson Bennett under his wing and started to work with him and help him learn more about the transition to the NFL compared to college.
Miami Dolphins:

• WR DK Metcalf challenged WR Tyreek Hill
• Will have joint practices with the Falcons
• QB Tua Tagavailoa is wearing a camera on his helmet to help HC Mike McDaniel see what he sees on the field

I loved seeing Tua wearing the helmet cam. I had not thought about it before but it should be great for him to be able to show McDaniel exactly what he is/was seeing out on the field to add context and allow McDaniel to better coach him and understand what is going on. I think this should be something all quarterbacks do and especially the top ones because it could gives coaches that much more information and a better understanding of how to help young quarterbacks in the future.
Minnesota Vikings:

• Signed:
  
  • WR from the XFL Lucky Jackson
• DC Brian Flores wants defense to develop an aggressive identity but not reckless
  
• RB Dalvin Cook could be a June 1st cut
  

All signs appear to be pointing towards RB Dalvin Cook getting released. In other news it will be good for the defense to develop the aggressive mindset that Brian Flores wants and should bring in the attitude from Miami that wad established during his time there that was so effective and led to them winning games.
New England Patriots:

• Got docked 2 days of OTA workouts for violating offseason rules and HC Bill Belichick was fined $50,000 dollars
• Placed LB Raekwon McMillan on injured reserve due to partially torn ACL

The Patriots seems to always be up to something. It sounds like they were penalized the 2 days of OTAs and fined because of a meeting that Joe Judge held that lasted more than the permitted amount of time. Other tough news came when Raekwon McMillan got injured.
New Orleans Saints:

• TE Foster Moreau is participating in OTAs
• Being in New Orleans has given QB Derek Carr a breath of fresh air
• Former HC Jon Gruden is working with the team and Derek Carr

What a story. TE Foster Moreau finds out he has cancer in a physical with the team a couple months and gets ahead of things and is now practicing with them at OTAs. Interesting story here about former HC Jon Gruden working with the team because during his time with the Raiders many said that he and Carr did not get along. This team has a big opportunity to take over the NFC South and is probably the bet setup to do it with the team they have.
New York Giants:

• Rookie WR Jalin Hyatt wants to get to 190lbs as his playing weight
• TE Darren Waller is happy to somewhere where his opinions are valued
  
  • QB Daniel Jones is enjoying working with TE Darren Waller
• HC Brian Daboll will not speak on contract situations despite currently Barkley situation
  

It seems that everything is going great except the Saquon Barkley situation. There isn’t much new insight into it either after HC Daboll refused to speak on anything contract related. In good news it seems like TE Darren Waller is really enjoying being with the team and working with QB Daniel Jones. This is a team to me that is going to play inspired football like they did last year no matter what is going on because their HC.
New York Jets:

• QB Aaron Rodgers had minor calf strain
• WR Allen Lazard went down during OTAs but supposedly was just a shot to the groin
• Worked out P Matt Araiza
• Chuck Clark was happy to be traded because felt disrespected by the Ravens
• HC Robert Saleh is confident a deal will get done with Quinnen Williams
• Will have joint practices with the Buccaneers

I imagine Jets fans held their breath when they saw Aaron Rodgers get injured as well as Allen Lazard. The good news is that those are not going to be issues in the long run. However, it reminded us all that QB Aaron Rodgers is not a young guy anymore and there is always the possibility that he like any other player in the NFL can get hurt. Hopefully the deal with Quinnen Williams can get done sooner rather than later. I am looking forward to the joint practices with the Bucs because they have a solid defense and it will be fun to hear how they fare in the early phases of implementing a lot of things from both Nathaniel Hackett and Aaron Rodgers.
Philadelphia Eagles:

• OL D.J. Fluker worked out for the Eagles
• DL Jordan Davis has made major strides this offseason will take on a larger role

Jordan Davis is going to be a key piece for the team this year in my opinion so it is great to hear he has made major strides. He is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to his sheer size and the more he can be weaponized the better.
Pittsburgh Steelers:

• Signed:
  
  • EDGE Markus Golden to 1-year deal
  • LB Toby Ndukwe
• Easy decision for QB Mitch Trubisky to sign extension
  
• Started contract talks with OLB Alex Highsmith
  
• Released Tae Crowder
  
• Want to play a regular season game in Ireland
  
• WR Allen Robinson has been very impressed so far by QB Kenny Pickett
  
• QB Kenny Pickett had his car stolen with his playbook inside of it
  

Great move to get Markus Golden. He can be dangerous in this defense and is only one season removed from a double digit sack year. Also, good to see that Robinson and Pickett appear to be getting along. I am curious to see who shakes out to be the #1 receiver on this team but have a feeling it will end up being Pickens because of how good he was last year and the chemistry he and Pickett already have. A QB likes it when his receiver makes life easier and bails him out. Pickens has already done that on multiple occasions for him.
San Francisco 49ers:

• QB Trey Lance just wants a chance to compete and never considered being traded
  
  • Raved about this time working with QB Patrick Mahomes
• QB Brock Purdy expected to start throwing next week, be able to go from gripping a towel to an actual football
  
• QB Sam Darnold will push to start come week 1
  
• Levi’s will officially get the Super Bowl in 2026
  
• LB Dre Greenlaw has a thumb procedure and will miss most of the OTAs this offseason
  
• Will have joint practices with the Raiders
  

It is official the 49ers will host the 2026 Super Bowl! After speculations and rumors it finally became official this past week. Also, there was a lot of good QB news this week with all 3 of the QBs on the roster. Sounds like Brock Purdy is healing properly and as expected, Trey Lance is looking really good in OTAs along with Sam Darnold. Once again this offseason no one is sure who will be starting for the team come week 1.
Seattle Seahawks:

• WR DK Metcalf challenged WR Tyreek Hill
• CB Tariq Woolen had arthroscopic knee surgery and it out til training camp
• Signed:
  
  • CB Artie Burns

Good news for Seahawks fan that Tariq Woolen will be back around training camp time after his procedure. Other than that there was not much news here. They got a solid rotational/depth player in Artie Burns though.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

• Video of QB Baker Mayfield making an overthrow went viral on social media
• Will have joint practices with the Jets
• WR Chris Godwin feels like he has a lot of his explosion back
• Team wants to see more consistency out of LB Devin White before offering him the contract he wants

Great to see that Tampa has joint practices with the Jets. They have a tough defense and it will be good for Baker and the offense to get some work against that defense early on. The Bucs have some great weapons on the offensive side of the ball to really compete with those top defenses and if they can all stay healthy this team could be a dark horse team to watch. Overall this should be a good all around team.
Tennessee Titans:

• QB Will Levis is putting pressure on Tannehil and Willis in OTAs this far
• S Kevin Byard is skipping OTAs

Interesting to see that S Kevin Byard was not at OTAs after earlier this offseason it was rumored he was asked to take a pay cut. Definitely a situation to watch. The main news that came from OTAs is that QB Will Levis appears to be looking good and some folks think he could be putting pressure on Tannehill early on and moving himself up the depth chart.
Washington Commanders:

• HC Ron Rivera said that DE Chase Young understands them not picking up his 5th year option
• New OC Eric Bieniemy has been getting on young QB Sam Howell holding him accountable
• Trademark application was denied due to someone else already having pending applications for the name but the team is confident this issue will get resolved
• It has been good for QB Sam Howell that QB Jacoby Brissett has been in the building
• TE Amani Rodgers tore his ACL and is out indefinitely
• Released Nathan Gerry
• Jamin Davis limited in OTAs after knee procedure
• Financing needs to be adjusted in order for the Josh Harris bid to be accepted
• Signed:
  
  • XFL LB Ferrod Gardner

Feels like a lot happened with the Commanders. First off, I think QB Sam Howell is in a great spot to learn and develop this year with mentors like Jacoby Brissett and then his OC Eric Bieniemy. They will hold him accountable like has already been happening and help bring out the best in him. Now it definitely is an organization surrounded by distractions. First off the trademark application for the team’s name was denied and they hope to get something figured out but could lead to another name change. Also, the team is still working through the Josh Harris bid and there need to be some adjustments in order for it to get accepted by the other NFL Owners and the league. These distractions even though they may not always be good for the team they probably do help a young quarterback because he is not the only thing to talk about at this point in the offseason.
Miscellaneous/Other NFL News:

• Many believe that Thursday Night Flexing is to cater to Amazon but really could be the future of how deals get done
  
  • Teams have to have 28 days notice and this is currently just a 1 year move
• RB Jeremy Hill who has not played for the past 5 seasons officially retired siting injury issues leading to his retirement
  
• NFL injury data shows that turf fields are significantly worse for players than grass fields
  
• The Pat McAfee Show will be taking over Max Kellerman’s the time slot on ESPN
  
• Commissioner Roger Goodell’s lobbying convinced teams to vote in favor of the new kickoff rules
  
• Dr. Timoth Kremchek, the Cincinnati Reds' physician since 1996, says he sees an "epidemic" of youth injuries on artificial turf
  
• RB Adrian Peterson will be hanging it up if he’s not back in the NFL this season
  
• After Goodell’s retirement the NFL could change the structure of management for the NFL combining a traditional CEO with a Commissioner of Football
  
• Possible a team will play 3 back to back games in Europe in the future
  
• Devin McCourty will be joining NBC’s Sunday Night Football crew as an analyst
  
• Officially approved emergency 3rd QB rule
  
• Investigating further violations potentially of league gambling policy
  
• DirecTV will still distribute Sunday Ticket to bars and restaurants
  
• S Tony Jefferson announced his retirement
  
• Announced growth of global market program
  

​
Restaurant of the Week: (Washington D.C. - TACOS 5 DE MAYO)
Don’t really have a great picture of this place but that may be a good thing. Often times I find that the places least advertised and that are holes in the wall is typically where you get the best Mexican food. This place is about a 10 minute drive from the stadium and probably closer to 15-20 minutes on game days depending on the time you go. Personally I recommend the Tacos Al Pastor. Those are basically a marinated pork taco that is slightly spicy with some sweet pineapple flavor in it. You cannot go wrong with Tacos Al Pastor and are by far my favorite. The other thing to keep an eye on is the Pupusas. While Pupusas are from El Salvador this place actually does a pretty dang good job of making them. For those that don’t know what Pupusas are they kind of resemble a stuffed pancake but are made of corn in most cases stuffed with either just cheese, cheese and beans, or cheese and pork. My order here would be 3 tacos al pastor and a cheese and bean pupusa. Enjoy!

Okaaay, so we're still shaking after the game, and already shaking before next season. Time to wrap things up.
Let's start with the Ladies team, they finished 6th and deserve some recognition. I don't follow WSL much, so i'll help myself with BBC Sport Emma Sanders quote:
"Their form dipped in the final few months and they still lack consistency but given they were fighting relegation last year, this can be viewed as a very successful campaign and they have solid foundations to build on. "
Also worth noting, our Women's team played their last game away at City, were losing 3:0 but still managed to scare them by going 3:2, knowing these 3 points don't matter to our place in the table. Their lost their last game of the season but put up a fair fight.
U18:
First full season under Leighton Baines ended at 4th place in the Under-18 Premier League North.
“For our lads, the development comes before the winning,” he said. “The winning still has to matter because they’re getting older and closer to the real game. We create that environment on a Saturday as balanced as we can. We work on certain things during the week and we’re willing to practise them on the weekend, even if it may be to a detriment of the potential outcome.
“At the same time, the kids play football, and they want to win. We’re not trying to create an overly sanitised environment where they don’t know how to win and where they don’t know how to play under pressure. We find a balance of those two things. What I’ve been blessed with this year, is that the lads have built a really strong bond and team spirit. I think that’s been reflected in some of those comeback performances and the ability to dig in." - Leighton words on his first coaching season.
https://www.evertonfc.com/news/3340734/baines-reflects-on-impressive-maiden-year-as-a-coach
Since last report - Two draws against MU, draw against Newcastle, and a home win vs Stoke.
U19:
Also our u19 team played at Nawi Mumbai PL Next gen cup last two weeks, in which their ended third in their group and lost their playoff game to go further. Some games were played in 37'C heat.
U21:
Youngsters finished eight in the PL2 _ Division 1. What is more impressive, they managed to get to quarterfinals in the PL International Cup, beaten by the final winners PSV Eindhoven U21, and to 1/16 in both PL Cup and EFL Trophy(beaten by Senior Lincoln team). That was first Paul Tait season as U21 coach. Results went downwards after the january transfer window, when Tom Cannon went on loan, and Joe Anderson and Seb Quirk joined Sunderland and Accrington Stanley on permament transfers. Some words from the coach:
“It gave the boys a lot of confidence they could go on and play men’s football,” he explained. “The likes of Tom Cannon, Joe Anderson and Seb Quirk all got good moves
“Tom played against these experienced players in the Papa John’s and then went on to have a really successful loan spell at Preston North End.”
“It was a huge transition between January and March," he added. "Players went out and we needed replacements, but I felt we found our feet again towards the end of the season.
“It’s not easy for some of the Under-18s transitioning through. They can find the jump hard, but they’ve done well. We’ve had lads like Owen Barker, Halid Djankpata and Roman Dixon coming through and impressing.
“Roman joined us in the past few weeks and knows the level that is required now. It’s important for these players to experience it. Ishe Samuels-Smith has been with us since the start and has been brilliant, as have Katia Kouyate and Francis Okoronkwo.”
Since last loan report: Win and loss against Leicester, and Loss away vs Arsenal.
Loanees:
João Virgínia (SC Cambuur) - Last time on the bench - 21.04 - since then probably they were sure of the relegation and preferred their own players. Joao last game played was 21.01 and it was a bad one. Then he was benched, and changing of manager didn't help him either. Even when new first choice keeper made multiple blunders, manager kept with him. Contracted till 2024
Andre Gomes (Lille OSC) - He found his place and a manager that uses him well. Lille sits 4th which grants them Europe league, with one round to play next week. They have to win with already relegated Troyes, otherwise they might fall even to 6th. Andre Played 5 matches from the 7 Lille played since last report - 3 wins and 2 draw. One loss and win without Andre. To end it on a happy note, here are some highlights, with two goals as beautiful as Andre is. Recommended ! Contracted till 2024
https://youtu.be/MQMj43reBmM - Andre bangers!
Jarrad Branthwaite (PSV Eindhoven) - He's the hope for us, won the Cup, and ended second with PSV Eindhoven. After a rough start he became a natural starter. PSV would love to keep him, but they would have to break all the banks in Netherland. Contracted till 2025
Since last report: 7 games, all with Jarrad. 6 wins, 1 draw against Heerenveen, PSV last home game(That wasn't a great game by Jarrad, but that happens).
https://youtu.be/g3hrvYMxB4M - Cup Final with Jarrad OG. Keeping Ajax in check was never meant to be easy. Love his sprint around 1:25 to provide support though.
Niels Nkounkou (Saint-Etienne) - That's our Second French league hot cake, and definitely not a fullback. ASSE is 10th with one game to go, and still can finish form 12 to 6th. They were dancing with relegation zone when he came there. I wonder what comes next for this guy. 6 goals 7 assists since january.
https://youtu.be/u1F3QCWb9R8 - assist vs Guingamp
https://youtu.be/Rhso0dEBgnM - goal Vs Metz
Dele Alli (Beşiktaş JK) - Last involvement in football - 26.02 match against Antalayaspor. For more news visit Celebrities rumours section of some shady journo outlet. Contracted till 2024. Ughh
Jean-Philipe Gbamin (Trabzonspor) - At least he's still involved in football, played in 4th of 5 matches since the last report. Always subbed on in the last 20 minutes. Two rounds to go. No idea about what to do with guy, but at least he's on the field sometimes. Contracted till 2024
Thomas Cannon (Preston North End) - After a great spell, with a lot of goals scored, there comes a slump. From 5 last games, PNE lost 4, and drew 1. Tom scored one goal in this time, against Swansea, but it meant nothing in the end (4:2 loss). PNE buried the small chance it had of getting to playoffs and finished 12th. 8 goals and 1 assist since January. His contract is valid till 2025.
https://youtu.be/n785ACurXI0 - goal against Swansea
Lewis Dobbin (Derby County) - Derby really lost their way at the end and landed in 7th place. Dobbin always played the role of a fresh energy sub, but didn't get an goal or an assist since the end of february. This season numbers: 3 goals, 1 penalty won, 4 assists. + one goal in a EFL Trophy, and one assist in a cup. He has a contract till 2025.
Lewis Warrington (Fleetwood Town) - 2 Wins, 2 losses, one draw since last report, all with Lewis playing. In terms of game time per season - clear winner, he missed only a few games. As a midfielder playing under Scott Brown, he surely learned something. Only one assist to his name, but also no red cards and no errors, and he mostly plays as the last midfielder, screening defence. Fleetwood Town ended season in 13th place. He could find a loan in the championship next year. Contracted till 2024
Ryan Astley (Accrington Stanley) - Haven't played since february, kept out by injuries. When healthy, played all the games he could. Accrington Stanley are relegated to League Two now, but i can see them, or even some League One club wanting him to play if healthy. He's out of contract this summer. Seb Quirk joined him and penned a deal with AS this january.
Lewis Gibson (Bristol Rovers) - I'm happy to finally see this kid play some football without injury. When he showed his quality, he quickly became a starter for BR, playing as CB and occasionally as LB. They ended 17th(5 losses and 2 draws since last report), and could sign him permamently as he's out of contract this summer. Surely some League One club will go for him.
Tyler Onyango (Forest Green Rovers) - He had to fight for his place during the Burton Albion loan, and played not regularly under Dino. Then he(with Everton club) took a gamble and sent him to Forest Green Rovers, to play under Big Dunc he knew very well. No one could have predicted the injury that kept him out after playing just 3 games for the Green team. Fun fact - Burton Albion fought against relegation when he was there, and they ended 15th, but Forest Green Rovers ended being relegated from the last place. He's 20y.o. contracted till 2025.
Harry Tyrer (Chester) - The National League North Team of the Season 2022/23
"The Everton loanee has had quite the season down CH1. Recruited last summer on a season-long deal, Tyrer was quick to show his key attributes.
His dominance inside the box was clear for all to see, as was his remarkable shot stopping. His distribution isn’t bad either – that assist for Kurt Willoughby’s winner at home to Bradford (PA) springs to mind!
A fan favourite from day one, his signature dive into the Chester fans after away victories became a highlight on the road. A record of 21 clean sheets in his 55 appearances isn’t bad either.
Harry evidently has a bright future in the game and has been a credit to the Blues both on and off the pitch – he will always be fondly remembered at the Deva." - Chester FC
Chester sadly lost against Brackley 0:1 in the promotion playoffs.
Harry has contract with the club till 2025
Thank You guys. Sorry for being chaotic, but with the relegation battle going on i couldn't focus on doing these regularly. It's gonna be a hard next season, but i look forward to how our academy will look like next year as changes made under Thelwell should be more evident.

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Hi! I mod PS2/PSP games normally and have a college football simulator on Android similar to this, but have been playing this game quite a bit on iOS as well. I took some time to convert a Madden 08 PC roster (credit to RogerJinx) to the PocketGM V3 json format, with a lot of my own tweaks.
Roster Link: https://github.com/antdroidx/pocketgm3-rosteraw/main/antdroid-pgm3-v13.json UPDATED 05/30/2023
Some caveats/notes:Most team ratings are low. Players are normalized a bit, so stars stand out more, and average players are average. Rookie ratings are kinda scattered, and I may look to improve this a bit more. This is just a first cut. Let me know how it goes!

Gridiron Gang 2k24 is a mix of simulation style football league looking to emulate real football which achieving a high level of madden competition.
We currently have a core group of users that want to play and also build their teams. We are continuously looking for other users who are looking for a long-term & stable league. A lot of work went into building this & if you are looking for organization and consistency, this league is for you. If you can't take a L, this isn't the league for you.

• Next Gen Xbox League
• All-pro difficulty Comp setting
• 31/32 Spots Filled
• Year 1 Week 11
• 2023 Rookie Rosters (Rounds 1-3, w a few late round picks) & Offszn transactions
• Long-term franchise
• Advanced Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday @ 10AM EST
• 8 Min Quarters 20s Acc Clock
• Organized Discord/Rulebook
• NeonSportz integration
• GOTW Award boost
• Press conference award boost
• End of season award boost
• Active user dev boost for playing 10+ games
• Looking for mature, long-term & active users only
• Check out the discord & see if the league is a fit for you
• Open teams: Cardinals (4-6) Steelers (5-4) Titans (1-8)

https://discord.gg/eHAqMA6ny4

The whirring blades of my MD-902 throbbed against the warm evening air, and I smiled.
From 5,000 feet, the ground flew by in a carpet of dark forests and kelly-green fields. The sun hung low on the horizon in a picturesque array of dazzling orange and gold, and I could make out the narrow strip of the Ohio River to my left, glistening in the fading daylight. This time of year, the trees would be full of the sweet aroma of fresh blossoms, and the frequent rains kept small pockets of fluffy white mist hanging in the treetops. It was a beautiful view, one that reminded me of why being a helicopter pilot trumped flying in a jumbo jet far above the clouds every day of the week.
Fourteen more days, and I’m debt free.
That made me grin even more. I’d been working as a charter pilot ever since I obtained my license at age 19, and after years of keeping my nose to the grindstone, I was closing on the final payment for real-estate in western Pennsylvania. With no debt, a fixer-upper house on 30 rural acres all to myself, and a respectable wage for a 26-year-old pilot, I looked forward to the financial freedom I could now enjoy. Maybe I’d take a vacation, somewhere exotic like Venice Italy, or the Dominican Republic. Or perhaps I’d sock the money back for the day I started a family.
“Remember kleineun, a real man looks after his own.”
My elderly ouma’s voice came back from the depths of my memories, her proud, sun-tanned face rising from the darkness. She and my Rhodesian grandfather had emigrated to the US when they were newlyweds, as the violence against white Boer descendants in South Africa spiraled out of control. My mother and father both died in a car crash when I was six, and it had been my grandparents who raised me. Due to this, I’d grown up with a slight accent that many of my classmates found amusing, and I could speak both English, and Afrikaans, the Boer tongue of our former home.
I shifted in my seat, stretched my back muscles, and glanced at the picture taped to my console. Both my parents flanked a grinning, gap-toothed six-year-old me, at the last Christmas we’d spent together. My mother beamed, her dark hair and Italian features a sharp contrast to my father’s sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. Sometimes, I liked to imagine they were smiling at me with pride at how well I flew the old silver-colored bird my company had assigned to me, and that made the long, lonely flights easier to bear.
A flicker caught my eye, and I broke my gaze away from the photograph.
Perched in its small cradle above the controls, my little black Garmin fuzzed over for a few seconds, its screen shifting from brightly colored maps to a barrage of grey static.
Did the power chord come loose?
I checked, ensuring the power-cable for the unit’s battery was plugged into the port on the control panel. It was a brand-new GPS unit, and I’d used it a few times already, so I knew it wasn’t defective. Granted, I could fly and navigate without it, but the Garmin made my time as a pilot so much easier that the thought of going blind was dreadful.
My fuel gauge danced, clicked to empty, then to full, in a bizarre jolt.
More of the gauges began to stutter, the entire panel seeming to develop terrets all at once, and my pulse began to race. Something was wrong, very wrong, and the sludge inside my bowels churned with sour fear.
“Come on, come on.” I flicked switches, turned dials, punched buttons, but nothing seemed to fix the spasming electronics. Every gauge failed, and without warning, I found myself plunged into inky darkness.
Outside, the sun surrendered to the pull of night, the sky darker than usual. A distant rumble of thunder reverberated above the roar of my helicopter’s engine, and I thought I glimpsed a streak of yellowish lightning on the far horizon to my left.
Calm down Chris. We’re still flying, so it must just be a blown fuse. Stay in control and find a place to set her down.
My sweaty palm slid on the cyclic stick, and both feet weighed heavy on the yaw pedals. The collective stuck to my other hand with a nervous vibration, and I squinted against the abyss outside.
Beep.
I jumped despite myself, as the little Garmin on my panel flared back to life, the static pulling aside to reveal a twitching display. Each time the screen glitched, it showed the colorful map detailing my flight path over the ground below, but I noticed that some of the lines changed, the names shifting, as if the device couldn’t decide between two different versions of the world.
One name jutted out at me, slate gray like most of the major county names, appearing with ghostly flickers from between two neighboring ones.
Barron County.
I stared, confused. I’d flown over this section of southeastern Ohio plenty of times, and I knew the counties by heart. At this point, I should have been over the southern end of Noble County, and maybe dipping lower into Washington. There was no Barron County in Ohio. I was sure of it.
And yet it shown back at me from the digital landscape, a strange, almost cigar-shaped chunk of terrain carved from the surrounding counties like a tumor, sometimes there, sometimes not, as my little Garmin struggled to find the correct map. Rain began to patter against my cockpit window, and the entire aircraft rattled from a strong gust of wind. Thick clouds closed over my field of vision like a sea of gray cotton.
The blood in my veins turned to ice, and I sucked in a nervous breath.
Land. I had to land. There was nothing else to do, my flight controls weren’t responding, and only my Garmin had managed to come back to life. Perhaps I’d been hit by lightning, and the electronics had been fried? Either way, it was too dark to tell, but a storm seemed to be brewing, and if I didn’t get my feet on the ground soon, I could be in real trouble.
“Better safe than sorry.” I pushed down on the collective to start my slow descent and clicked the talking button for my headset. “Any station, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, over.”
Nothing.
“Any station, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, requesting emergency assistance, over.”
Still nothing.
If the radio’s dead, I’m really up a creek.
With my hand shaking, I clicked on the mic one more time. “Any station, this is—”
Like a curtain pulling back, the fog cleared from around my window, and the words stuck in my throat.
Without my gauges, I couldn’t tell just how far I’d descended, but I was definitely very low. Thick trees poked up from the ground, and the hills rolled into high ridges with flat valley floors, fields and pastures pockmarking them. Rain fell all around in cold, silvery sheets, a normal feature for the mid spring in this part of Ohio.
What wasn’t normal, were the fires.
At first, I thought they were forest fires for the amount of smoke and flames that bellowed from each spot, but as I swooped lower, my eyes widened in horror.
They were houses.
Farms, cottages, little clusters that barely constituted villages, all of them belched orange flames and black pillars of sooty smoke. I couldn’t hear above the helicopter blades, but I could see the flashes on the ground, along the road, in between the trees, and even coming from the burning buildings, little jets of golden light that spat into the darkness with anger.
Gunfire. That’s rifle fire, a whole lot of it.
Tiny black figures darted through the shadows, barely discernable from where I sat, several hundred feet up. I couldn’t see much, but some were definitely running away, the streaks of yellow gunfire chasing them. A few dark gray vehicles rumbled down one of the gravel roads, and sprayed fire into the houses as it went. They were fighting, I realized, the people in the trucks and the locals. It was horrific, like something out of war-torn Afghanistan, but worse.
Then, I caught a glimpse of the others.
They didn’t move like the rest, who either fled from the dark vehicles, or fired back from behind cover. These skinny figures loped along with haphazard gaits, many running on all fours like animals, swarming from the trees by the dozens. They threw themselves into the gales of bullets without flinching, attacking anyone within range, and something about the way they moved, so fluid, so fearless, made my heart skip a beat.
What is that?
“Echo Four Actual to unknown caller, please respond, over.”
Choking back a cry of shock, I fumbled at the control panel with clumsy fingers, the man’s voice sharp and stern. I hadn’t realized that I’d let go of the talking button and clicked it down again. “Hello? Hello, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot out of Pittsburgh, over.”
An excruciating moment passed, and I continued to zoom over the trees, the fires falling away behind me as more silent forest took over.
“Roger that Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, we read you loud and clear. Please identify yourself and any passengers or cargo you might be carrying, over.”
Swallowing hard, I eyed the treetops, which looked much closer than they should have been. How far had I descended? “Echo Four Actual, my name is Christopher Dekker, and I am alone. I’m a charter flight from PA, carrying medical equipment for OSU in Columbus. My controls have been damaged, and I am unable to safely carry on due to the storm. Requesting permission to land, over.”
I watched the landscape slide by underneath me, once catching sight of what looked like a little white church surrounded by smaller huts, dozens of figures in the yard staring up at me as I flew over a nearby ridgeline.
“Solid copy on that Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot. Be advised, your transponder shows you to be inside a restricted zone. Please cease all radio traffic, reduce your speed, climb to 3,000 feet and proceed north. We’ll talk you in from there. How copy, over?”
My heart jumped, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Roger that Echo Four Actual, my altimeter is down, but I’ll do my best to eyeball the altitude, over.”
With that, I pulled the collective upward, and tried my best to gauge how far I was by eyesight in the gathering night, rain still coming down all around me. This had to be some kind of disaster or riot, I decided. After all, the voice over the radio sounded like military, and those vehicles seemed to have heavy weapons. Maybe there was some kind of unrest going on here that I hadn’t heard about yet?
Kind of weird for it to happen in rural areas though. Spoiled college kids I get, but never saw farmers get so worked up before. They usually love the military.
Something moved in the corner of my eye, and I turned out of reflex.
My mouth fell open, and I froze, unable to scream.
In the sky beside me, a huge shadow glided along, and its leathery wings effortlessly carved through the gloom, flapping only on occasion to keep it aloft. It was too dark for me to see what color it was, but from the way it moved, I knew it wasn’t another helicopter. No, this thing was alive, easily the size of a small plane, and more than twice the length of my little McDonald Douglass. A long tail trailed behind it, and bore a distinct arrow-shaped snout, with twig-like spines fanned out around the back of its head. Whatever legs it had were drawn up under it like a bird, yet its skin appeared rough and knobby, almost resembling tree bark. Without pause, the gigantic bat-winged entity flew along beside me, as if my presence was on par with an annoying fly buzzing about its head.
Gripping the microphone switch so tight, I thought I’d crack the plastic, I whispered into my headset, forgetting all radio protocol. “T-There’s something up here.”
Static crackled.
“Douglas Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, say again your last, you’re coming in weak and unreadable, over.”
“There’s something up here.” I snarled into the headset, still glued to the controls of the helicopter, afraid to deviate even an inch from my course in case the monstrosity decided to turn on me. “A freaking huge thing, right beside me. I swear, it looks like a bat or . . . I don’t know.”
“Calm down.” The man on the other end of the radio broke his rigorous discipline as well, his voice deep, but level. “It won’t attack if you don’t move too fast. Slowly ease away from it and follow that course until you’re out of sight.”
I didn’t have time to think about how wrong that sounded, how the man’s strict tone had changed to one of knowledge, how he hadn’t been the least surprised by what I’d said. Instead, I slowly turned the helicopter away from the huge menace and edged the speed higher in tiny increments.
As soon as I was roughly two football fields away, I let myself relax, and clicked the mic switch. “It’s not following.”
“You’re sure?”
Eyeing the huge flapping wings, I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I’m well clear.”
“Good. Thank you, Mr. Dekker.”
Then, the radio went dead.
Something in my chest dropped, a weight that made my stomach roil. This wasn’t right, none of it. Who was that man? Why did he know about the thing I’d just seen? What was I supposed to—
A flash of light exploded from the trees to my right and shot into the air with a long finger of smoke.
What the . . .
On instinct, I jerked the cyclic stick to one side, and the helicopter swung to avoid the rocket.
Boom.
My world shook, metal screeched, and a dozen alarms began to go off inside the cockpit in a cacophony of beeps and sirens. Orange and red flames lit up the night sky just behind me, and the horizon started to spin wildly outside. Heat gushed from the cockpit door, and I smelled the greasy stench of burning oil. The safety belts dug into my shoulders, and with a final slip, the radio headset ripped free from my scalp.
I’m hit.
Desperate, I yanked on the controls, fought the bird even as she spun toward the ground in a wreath of flames, the inky black trees hurtling up to meet me. The helicopter went into full auto-rotation, the sky blurring past outside, and the alarms blared in a screech of doom. Panic slammed through my temples, I screamed at the top of my lungs, and for one brief second, my eyes locked on the little black Garmin still perched atop my control panel.
Its screen stopped twitching and settled on a map of the mysterious Barron County, with a little red arrow at the center of the screen, a few words popping up underneath it.
You are here.
Trees stabbed up into the sky, the belts crushed at my torso, glass shattered all around me, and the world went dark.
Copper, thick, warm, and tangy.
It filled my mouth, stank metallic in my nose, clogged my throat, choking me. In the murkiness, I fought for a surface, for a way out, blind and numb in the dark.
This way, kleineun.
My ouma’s voice echoed from somewhere in the shadows.
This way.
Both eyes flew open, and I gagged, spitting out a stream of red.
Pain throbbed in my ribs, and a heavy pressure sent a tingling numbness through my shoulders. Blood roared inside my temples, and stars danced before my eyes with a dizzying array. Humid night air kissed my skin, and something sticky coated my face, neck, and arms that hung straight up toward the ceiling.
Wait. Not up. Down.
I blinked at the wrinkled, torn ceiling of the cockpit, the glass all gone, the gray aluminum shredded like tissue paper. Just outside the broken windows, thick Appalachian bluegrass and stemmy underbrush swished in a feeble breeze, backlit by flashes of lightning from the thunderstorm overhead. Green and brown leaves covered everything in a wet carpet of triangles, and somewhere nearby, a cricket chirped.
Turning my head from side to side, I realized that I hung upside down inside the ruined helicopter, the top half burrowed into the mud. I could hear the hissing and crackling of flames, the pattering of rain falling on the hot aluminum, and the smaller brush fires around the downed aircraft sizzling out in the damp long grass. Charred steel and burning oil tainted the air, almost as strong as the metallic, coppery stench in my aching nose.
They shot me down. That military dude shot me out of the sky.
It didn’t make sense. I’d followed their orders, done everything they’d said, and yet the instant I veered safely away from whatever that thing in the sky had been, they’d fired, not at it, but at me.
Looking down (or rather, up) at my chest, I sucked in a gasp, which was harder to do that before.
The navy-blue shirt stuck to my torso with several big splotches of dark, rusty red. Most were clean slashes, but two held bits of glass sticking out of them, one alarmingly bigger than the other. They dripped cherry red blood onto my upturned face, and a wave of nausea hit me.
I gotta get down.
I flexed my arms to try and work some feeling back into them, praying nothing was broken. Half-numb from hanging so long, I palmed along my aching body until I felt the buckled for the seat belts.
“Okay.” I hissed between gritted teeth, in an effort to stave off my panic. “You can do this. Just hold on tight. Nice and tight. Here we go . . .”
Click.
Everything seemed to lurch, and I slid off the seat to plummet towards the muck-filled hole in the cockpit ceiling. My fingers were slick with blood and slipped over the smooth faux-leather pilot’s seat with ease. The shoulder belt snagged on the bits of glass that lay just under the left lowest rib, and a flare of white-hot pain ripped through me.
Wham.
I screamed, my right knee caught the edge of the aluminum ceiling, and both hands dove into a mound of leaf-covered glass shards on the opposite side of the hole. My head swam, being right-side-up again enough to make shadows gnaw at the corner of my eyes.
Forcing myself to breath slowly, I fought the urge to faint and slid back to sit on the smooth ceiling. I turned my hands over to see half a dozen bits of clear glass burrowed into my skin like greedy parasites, red blood weeping around the new cuts.
“Screw you.” I spat at the rubbish with angry tears in my eyes. “Screw you, screw you, screw you.”
The shards came out easy enough, and the cuts weren’t that deep, but that wasn’t what worried me. On my chest, the single piece of cockpit glass that remined was almost as big as my palm, and it really hurt. Just touching it felt like self-inflicted torture, but I knew it had to come out sooner or later.
Please don’t nick a vein.
Wiping my hands dry on my jeans, I gripped the shard with both hands, and jerked.
Fire roared over my ribs, and hot blood tickled my already grimy pale skin. I clapped a hand over the wound, pressing down hard, and grunted out a string of hateful expletives that my ouma would have slapped me for.
Lying on my back, I stared around me at the messy cargo compartment of the MD-902. Most of the medical supplies had been in cardboard boxes strapped down with heavy nylon tow-straps, but several cases had ruptured with the force of the impact, spraying bandages, syringes, and pill bottles all over the cluttered interior. Orange flames chewed at the crate furthest to the rear, the tail section long gone, but the foremost part of the hold was intact. Easily a million-dollar mess, it would have made me faint on any other trip, but today it was a godsend.
Half-blind in the darkness, I crawled along with only the firelight and lightning bolts to guide me, my right knee aching. Like a crippled raccoon, I collected things as I went, conscious of the two pallets of intact supplies weighing right over my head. I’d taken several different first-aid courses with some hunting buddies of mine, and the mental reflexes kicked in to help soothe my frazzled mind.
Check for bleeds, stop the worst, then move on.
Aside from my battered chest and stomach, the rest of me remained mostly unharmed. I had nasty bruises from the seatbelts, my right knee swelled, my nose slightly crooked and crusted in blood, but otherwise I was intact. Dowsing every scratch and cut with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol I found, I used butterfly closures on the smaller lacerations that peppered my skin. I wrapped soft white gauze over my abused palms and probed at the big cut where the last shard had been, only stopping when I was sure there were no pieces of glass wedged inside my flesh.
“Not too bad.” I grunted to myself, trying to sound impassive like a doctor might. “Rib must have stopped it. Gonna need stitches though. That’ll be fun.”
Pawing through the broken cases, I couldn’t find any suture chord, but just as I was about to give up, I noticed a small box that read ‘medical skin stapler’.
Bingo.
I tore the small white plastic stapler free from its packaging and eyeballed the device. I’d never done this before, only seen it in movies, and even though the cut in my skin hurt, I wondered if this wouldn’t be worse.
You’ve gotta do it. That bleeding needs to stop. Besides, no one’s coming to rescue you, not with those rocket-launching psychos out there.
Taking a deep breath, I pinched the skin around the gash together, and pressed the mouth of the stapler to it.
Click.
A sharp sting, like that of a needle bit at the skin, but it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as the cut itself. I worked my way across the two-inch laceration and gave out a sigh of relief when it was done.
“Not going to bleed to death today.” I daubed ointment around the staples before winding more bandages over the wound.
Popping a few low-grade painkillers that tumbled from the cargo, I crawled wriggled through the nearest shattered window into the wet grass.
Raindrops kissed my face, clean and cool on my sweaty skin. Despite the thick cloud cover, there was enough constant lightning strikes within the storm to let me get glimpses of the world around me. My helicopter lay on its back, the blades snapped like pencils, with bits and pieces of it burning in chunks all around the small break in the trees. Chest-high scrub brush grew all around the low-lying ground, with pockets of standing water in places. My ears still rang from the impact of the crash, but I could start to pick up more crickets, frogs, and even some nocturnal birds singing into the darkness, like they didn’t notice the huge the hulk of flaming metal that had fallen from the sky. Overhead, the thunder rumbled onward, the feeble wind whistling, and there were other flashes on the horizon, orange and red ones, with crackles that didn’t sound quite like lightning.
The guns. They’re still fighting.
Instinctively, I pulled out my cellphone, and tapped the screen.
It fluttered to life, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get through to anyone, not even with the emergency function designed to work around having no service. The complicated wonder of our modern world was little better than a glorified paperweight.
Stunned, I sat down with my back to the helicopter and rested my head against the aluminum skin of the craft. How I’d gone from a regular medical supply run to being marooned in this hellish parody of rural America, I didn’t know, but one thig was certain; I needed a plan. Whoever fired the missile could have already contacted my charter company and made up some excuse to keep them from coming to look for me. No one else knew I was here, and even though I now had six staples holding the worst of my injuries shut, I knew I needed proper medical attention. If I wanted to live, I’d have to rescue myself.
My bag. I need to get my go-bag, grab some gear and then . . . head somewhere else.
It took me a while to gather my green canvas paratrooper bag from its place behind the pilot’s seat and fill it with whatever supplies I could scrounge. My knee didn’t seem to be broken, but man did it hurt, and I dreaded the thought of walking on it for miles on end. I focused instead on inventorying my gear and trying to come up with a halfway intelligent plan of action.
I had a stainless-steel canteen with one of those detachable cups on the bottom, a little fishing kit, some duct tape, a lighter, a black LED flashlight with three spare batteries, a few tattered road maps with a compass, a spare pair of socks, medical supplies from the cargo, and a simple forest green plastic rain poncho. I also managed to unearth a functioning digital camcorder my ouma had gotten me for Christmas a few years back, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to do any filming in such a miserable state. Lastly, since it was a private supply run from a warehouse area near Pittsburgh to a direct hospital pad in Ohio, I’d been able to bring my K-Bar, a sturdy, and brutally simple knife designed for the Marine Corps that I used every time I went camping. It was pitiful in comparison to the rifle I wished I had with me, but that didn’t matter now. I had what I had, and I doubted my trusty Armalite would have alleviated my sore knee anyway.
Clicking on my flashlight, I huddled with the poncho around my shoulders inside the wreck of the chopper and peered at the dusty roadmaps. A small part of me hoped that a solution would jump out from the faded paper, but none came. These were all maps of western PA and eastern Ohio. None of them had a Barron County on them anywhere.
The man on the radio said to head north, right before they shot me down. That means they must be camped out to the north of here. South had that convoy and those burning houses, so that’s a no-go. Maybe I can backtrack eastward the way I came.
As if on cue, a soft pop echoed from over the eastern horizon, and I craned to look out the helicopter window, spotting more man-made flashes over the tree tops.
“Great.” I hissed between clenched teeth, aware of how the temperature dipped to a chilly 60 degrees, and how despite the conditions, my stomach had begun to growl. “Not going that way, are we? Westward it is.”
Walking away from my poor 902 proved to be harder than I’d anticipated. Despite the glass, the fizzling fires, and the darkness, it still held a familiar, human essence to it. Sitting inside it made me feel secure, safe, even calm about the situation. In any other circumstance, I would have just stayed with the downed aircraft to wait for help, but I knew the men who shot me down would likely find my crash site, and I didn’t want to be around when they did.
Unlike much of central and western Ohio, southeastern Ohio is hilly, brushy, and clogged with thick forests. Thorns snagged at my thin poncho and sliced at my pant legs. My knee throbbed, every step a form of self-inflicted torture. The rain never stopped, a steady drizzle from above just cold enough to be problematic as time went on, making me shiver. Mud slid under my tennis shoes, and every tree looked ten times bigger in the flickering beam of my cheap flashlight. Icy fear prickled at the back of my neck at some of the sounds that greeted me through the gloom. I’d been camping loads of times, both in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, but these noises were something otherworldly to me.
Strange howls, screeches, and calls permeated the rain-soaked sky, some almost roars, while others bordered on human in their intonation. The more I walked, the softer the distant gunfire became, and the more prevalent the odd sounds, until the shadows seemed to fill with them. I didn’t dare turn off my flashlight, or I’d been completely blind in the dark, but a little voice in the back of my head screamed that I was too visible, crunching through the gloomy forest with my long beam of light stabbing into the abyss. It felt as though a million eyes were on me, studying me, hunting me from the surrounding brush, and I bitterly recalled how much I’d loved the old Survivor Man TV series as a kid.
Not so fun being out in the woods at night. Especially alone.
A twig snapped somewhere behind me, and I whirled on the spot, one trembling hand resting on the hilt of my K-Bar.
Nothing. Nothing but trees, bushes, and rain dripping down in the darkness.
“This is stupid.” I whispered to myself to keep my nerves in check as I slowly spun on the spot. “I should have went eastward anyway. God knows how long I’m going to have to—”
Creak.
A groan of metal-on-metal echoed from somewhere to my right, and I spun to face it, yanking the knife on my belt free from its scabbard. It felt so small and useless in my hand, and I choked down a wave of nauseas fear.
Ka-whump. Creak. K-whump. Creak.
Underbrush cracked and crunched, a few smaller saplings thrashed, and from deep within the gloom, two yellow orbs flared to life. They poked through the mist in the trees, forming into slender fingers of golden light that swept back and forth in the dark.
The soldiers . . . they must be looking for me.
I swallowed hard and turned to slink away.
Ice jammed through my blood, and I froze on the spot, biting my tongue to stop the scream.
It stood not yards away, a huge form that towered a good twelve feet tall in the swirling shadows. Unpolished chrome blended with flash-rusted spots in the faded red paint, and grime-smeared glass shone with dull hues in the flashes of lightning. Where the wheels should have been, the rounded steel axels curved like some enormous hand had bent them, and the tires lay face-down on the muddy ground like big round feet, their hubcaps buried in the dirt. Dents, scrapes, and chips covered the battered thing, and its crooked little radio antenna pointed straight up from the old metal fender like a mast. I could barely make out the mud-coated VW on the rounded hood, and my mind reeled in shock.
Is . . . is that a car?
Both yellow headlights bathed me in a circle of bright, blinding light, and neither I nor the strange vehicle moved.
Seconds ticked by, the screech-thumping in the background only growing closer. I realized that I couldn’t hear any engine noises and had yet to see any soldiers or guns pointed my way. This car looked old, really old, like one of those classic Volkswagen Beetles that collectors fought over at auctions. Try as I might, I couldn’t see a driver inside the murky, mold-smeared windows.
Because there wasn’t one.
Lightning arched across the sky overhead, and the car standing in front of me blinked.
Its headlights slid shut, as if little metal shades had crawled over the bulbs for a moment and flicked open again. Something about that movement was so primal, so real, so lifelike, that every ounce of self-control I had melted in an instant.
Cursing under my breath, I lunged into the shrubs, and the world erupted around me.
Under my shoes, the ground shook, and the car surged after me in a cacophony of ka-thumps that made my already racing heart skip several beats. A weather-beaten brown tow truck from the 50’s charged through the thorns to my left, it’s headlights ablaze, and a dilapidated yellow school bus rose from its hiding place in the weeds to stand tall on four down-turned axel-legs. They all flicked their headlights on like giants waking from their slumber, and as I dodged past them, they each blared their horn into the night in alarm.
My breaths came short and tight, my knee burned, and I crashed through thorns and briars without thought to how badly I was getting cut up.
The cheap poncho tore, and I ripped it away as it caught on a tree branch.
A purple 70’s Mustang shook off its blanket of creeping vines and bounded from a stand of trees just ahead, forcing me to swerve to avoid being run over, my adrenaline at all-time highs.
This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.
Slipping and sliding, I pushed through a stand of multiflora rose, and stumbled out into a flat, dark expanse.
I almost skidded to a stop.
What had once been a rather large field stood no taller than my shoestrings, the grass charred, and burnt. The storm above illuminated huge pieces of wreckage that lay scattered over the nearly 40-acre plot, and I could just make out the fire-blackened hulk of a fuselage resting a hundred yards away. The plane had been brought down a while ago it seemed, as there weren’t any flames left burning, and I threw myself toward it in frenzied desperation.
Burned grass and greasy brown topsoil slushed underfoot, and I could hear the squelching of the cars pursing me. Rain soaked me to the bone, and my lungs ached from sucking down the damp night air. A painful stich crept into my side, and I cursed myself for not putting in more time for cardio at the gym.
Something caught my left shoelace, and I hurtled to the ground, tasting mud and blood in between my teeth.
They’ve got me now.
I clawed at the mud, rolled, and watched a tire slam down mere inches from where my head had been. The Mustang loomed over me and jostled for position with the red Volkswagen and brown tow truck, the school bus still a few yards behind them. They couldn’t seem to decide who would get the pleasure of stomping me to death, and like a herd of stampeding wildebeest, they locked bumpers in an epic shoving match.
On all fours, I scampered out from under the sparring brutes, and dashed for the crumpled airplane, a white-painted DC-3 that looked like it had been cut in half by a gargantuan knife blade. I passed a snapped wing section, the oily remains of a turbo-prop engine, and a mutilated wheel from the landing gear. Climbing over a heap of mud, I squeezed into the back of the ruined flight cabin and dropped down into the dark cargo hold.
Wham.
No sooner had my sneakers hit the cold metal floor, and the entire plane rocked from the impact of something heavy ramming it just outside. I tumbled to my knees, screaming in pain as, once again, I managed to bash the sore one off a bracket in the wall.
My hand smeared in something gooey, and I scrabbled for my flashlight.
It clicked on, a wavering ball of white light in the pitch darkness, and I fought the urge to gag. “Oh man . . .”
Three people, or what was left of them, lay strewn over the narrow cargo area. Claret red blood coated the walls, caked on the floor, and clotted under my mud-spattered shoes. Bits of flesh and viscera were stuck to everything, and tatters of cloth hung from exposed sections of broken bone. An eerie set of bloody handprints adorned the walls, and the only reason I could tell it had been three people were the shoes; all of them bore anklebones sticking out above blood-soaked socks. It smelled sickly sweet, a strange, nauseas odor that crept into my nose and settled on the back of my tongue like an alien parasite.
Something glinted in the beam of my flashlight, and my pulse quickened as I pried the object loose from the severed arm that still clung to it.
“Hail Mary full of Grace.” I would have grinned if it weren’t for the fact that the plane continued to buck and roll under the assault from the cars outside.
The pistol looked old, but well-maintained, aside from the light coating of dark blood that stained its round wooden handle. It felt heavy, but good in my hand, and I turned it over to read the words, Waffenfabrik Mauser stenciled into the frame, with a large red 9 carved into the grip. For some reason, it vaguely reminded me of the blasters from Star Wars.
I fumbled with a little switch that looked like a safety on the back of the gun and stumbled toward a gap in the plane’s dented fuselage to aim out at the surrounding headlights.
Bang.
The old gun bucked reliably in my hand, its long barrel spitting a little jet of flame into the night. I had no idea if I hit anything, but the attacking cars recoiled, their horns blaring in confusion.
They turned, and scuttled for the tree line as fast as their mechanical legs could go, the entire ordeal over as fast as it had begun.
Did I do that?
Perplexed, I stared down at the pistol in my hand.
Whoosh.
A large, inky black shadow glided down from the clouds, and the yellow school bus moved too slow to react in time.
With a crash, the kicking nightmarish vehicle was thrown onto its side, spraying glass and chrome trim across the muddy field. Its electro-synth horn blared with wails of mechanical agony, as two huge talon-like feet clamped down on it, and the enormous head of the flying creature lowered to rip open its engine compartment.
The horn cut out, and the enormous flying entity jerked its head back to gulp down a mass of what looked like sticky black vines from the interior of the shattered bus.
At this range, I could see now that the flying creature bore two legs and had its wings half-tucked like a vulture that had descended to feed on roadkill. Its head turned slightly, and in the glow of another lightning bolt, my jaw went slack at the realization of what it was.
A tree trunk. It’s a rotted tree trunk.
I couldn’t tell where the reptilian beast began, and where the organic tree components ended, the upper part of the head shaped like a log, while the lower jaw resembled something out of a dinosaur movie. Its skin looked identical to the outside of a shagbark hickory but flexed with a supple featheriness that denoted something closer to skin. Sharp branch-like spines ranged down its back, and out to the end of its tail, which bore a massive round club shaped like a diseased tree-knot. Crouched on both hind legs, it braced the hooked ends of its folded wings against the ground like a bat, towering higher than a semi-truck. Under the folds of its armored head, a bulging pair of chameleon-like eyes constantly spun in their sockets, probing the dark for threats while it ate.
One black pupil locked onto the window I peered through, and my heart stopped.
The beast regarded me for a moment, making a curious, sideways sniff.
With a proud, contemptful head-toss, the shadow from the sky parted rows of razor-sharp teeth to let out a roar that shook the earth beneath my feet. It was the triumphant war cry of a creature that sat at the very top of the food chain, one that felt no threat from the fragile two-legged beings that walked the earth all around it. It hunted whenever it wanted, ate whatever it wanted, and flew wherever it wanted. It didn’t need to rip the plane apart to devour me.
Like my hunter-gatherer ancestors from thousands of years ago, I wasn’t even worth the energy it would take to pounce.
I’m hiding in the remains of the cockpit now, which is half-buried under the mud of the field, enough to shield the light from my screen so that thing doesn’t see it. My service only now came back, and it’s been over an hour since the winged beast started in on the dead bus. I don’t know when, or how I’m going to get out of here. I don’t know when anyone will even see this post, or if it will upload at all. My phone battery is almost dead, and at this point, I’m probably going to have to sleep among the corpses until daylight comes.
A dead man sleeping amongst friends.
If you live in the Noble County area in southeastern Ohio, be careful where you drive, fly, and boat. I don’t know if it’s possible to stumble into this strange place by ground, but if so, then these things are definitely headed your way.
If that happens . . . pray that they don’t find you.

Welcome to the fifth annual all time English Football League table post! Covering all four main divisions, over every single league season from the very first in 1888/89 right up until the present day, this is something I started work on to kill some free time and have kept running each year since. If you want to have a look at the previous four posts on this project you can find them here: 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022
Part One - Points Table
In order to make this work as straightforwardly as possible, I devised a scaling system whereby all points won in League 2 (or old Division Four) remain as they are, any points won in League 1 (old Division Three) are multiplied by 1.3, any points won in the Championship (old Division Two) are multiplied by 1.7, and any points won in the Premier League (old Division One) are multiplied by 2. Any points won in the National League or lower have been ignored. As always the Points Per Season also makes a return, hich I've used to indicate how efficient teams have been at earning their points over their respective histories. The original 2019 post goes into a bit more detail about why I picked this rather imperfect methodology, but I'm satisfied that it does the job.
All league status is correct as to the end of the 2022-23 season (ie, Leeds, Leicester, and Southampton are listed as Championship, Burnley, Sheffield United, and Luton are Premier League etc). Also, wins from seasons in which a win was worth two points have all been given an extra point in order to bring them in line with three points for a win seasons.

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	PPS	Points
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	131.9	15695
2	Manchester United	Premier League	120	130.2	15618
3	Arsenal	Premier League	119	124.6	14823
4	Manchester City	Premier League	120	117.7	14127
5	Everton	Premier League	124	113.9	14127
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	112.0	13888
7	Sunderland	Championship	122	108.5	13233
8	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	110.2	13113
9	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	105.0	13017
10	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	107.7	12924
11	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	104.0	12902
12	Chelsea	Premier League	107	120.2	12866
13	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	107.0	12844
14	Derby County	League One	124	103.3	12807
15	Sheffield Wednesday	Championship	120	104.4	12522
16	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	111.4	12482
17	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	100.0	12403
18	Burnley	Premier League	124	99.9	12388
19	Preston North End	Championship	124	99.6	12353
20	Birmingham City	Championship	120	100.9	12111
21	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	97.7	12111
22	Leicester City	Premier League	118	102.5	12096
23	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	104.8	11845
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	99.9	11392
25	Leeds United	Championship	96	114.7	11013
26	Blackpool	League One	115	91.5	10523
27	West Ham United	Premier League	97	106.3	10307
28	Bristol City	Championship	101	101.9	10293
29	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	100.1	10215
30	Notts County	League Two	120	83.6	10027
31	Barnsley	League One	114	87.5	9973
32	Fulham	Premier League	105	95.0	9970
33	Southampton	Championship	96	100.6	9656
34	Bury	Defunct	116	82.7	9597
35	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	83.8	9388
36	Portsmouth	League One	96	96.8	9291
37	Norwich City	Championship	97	94.9	9206
38	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	96	95.5	9165
39	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	95.7	9095
40	Cardiff City	Championship	96	93.8	9007
41	Millwall	Championship	96	93.5	8974
42	Oldham Athletic	National League	104	86.0	8946
43	Hull City	Championship	107	83.5	8934
44	Coventry City	Championship	97	91.9	8913
45	Bradford City	League Two	109	81.0	8830
46	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	80.7	8639
47	Watford	Championship	96	89.7	8609
48	Luton Town	Premier League	94	91.1	8559
49	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	108.4	8459
50	Reading	League One	96	87.9	8439
51	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	87.8	8431
52	Port Vale	League One	107	78.1	8362
53	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	86.9	8344
54	Brentford	Premier League	96	86.8	8334
55	Lincoln City	League One	110	73.4	8072
56	Leyton Orient	League One	105	76.2	8006
57	Swindon Town	League Two	96	81.6	7835
58	Chesterfield	National League	100	77.4	7739
59	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	80.0	7604
60	Walsall	League Two	95	79.6	7558
61	Stockport County	League Two	100	74.6	7457
62	Rotherham United	Championship	91	81.6	7428
63	Swansea City	Championship	96	77.3	7424
64	Northampton Town	League One	96	74.9	7194
65	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	77.1	7094
66	Southend United	National League	94	75.1	7062
67	Gillingham	League Two	89	75.5	6723
68	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	72.7	6612
69	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	66.5	6583
70	Carlisle United	League One	87	73.9	6427
71	Rochdale	National League	95	64.4	6117
72	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	66.1	6081
73	Exeter City	League One	91	66.0	6009
74	Wrexham	League Two	80	74.5	5956
75	Hartlepool United	National League	91	63.0	5735
76	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	70.6	5647
77	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	74.9	5391
78	Scunthorpe United	National League North	72	71.9	5178
79	Darlington	National League North	81	63.8	5166
80	Colchester United	League Two	71	71.5	5075
81	Torquay United	National League South	78	65.1	5074
82	York City	National League	72	67.8	4883
83	Peterborough United	League One	63	77.3	4870
84	Oxford United	League One	57	80.8	4604
85	Halifax Town	Defunct	69	63.5	4383
86	Bradford Park Avenue	Northern Premier League	51	85.2	4345
87	Newport County	League Two	71	54.9	3896
88	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	85.6	3853
89	Chester City	Defunct	66	54.2	3578
90	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	68.2	3410
91	Aldershot	Defunct	52	64.5	3356
92	Southport	National League North	50	65.7	3285
93	Cambridge United	League One	44	70.8	3114
94	Barrow	League Two	45	64.5	2903
95	Wimbledon	Defunct	27	97.6	2635
96	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	73.1	2192
97	Hereford United	Defunct	31	59.6	1847
98	Workington	Northern Premier League	26	60.7	1577
99	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	82.6	1569
100	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	62.9	1447
101	New Brighton	Defunct	22	61.9	1362
102	Gateshead	Defunct	24	56.1	1347
103	Glossop North End	North West Counties League Premier Division	17	72.9	1240
104	Barnet	National League	21	56.8	1192
105	Yeovil Town	National League South	16	67.6	1082
106	Gainsborough Trinity	Northern Premier League	16	67.3	1076
107	Burton Albion	League One	14	73.9	1034
108	Macclesfield Town	Defunct	18	51.2	922
109	Morecambe	League Two	16	56.1	897
110	Leeds City	Defunct	10	84.4	844
111	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	75.1	826
112	Stevenage	League One	13	62.6	814
113	Crawley Town	League Two	12	62.3	747
114	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	59.0	708
115	Wigan Borough	Defunct	10	68.7	687
116	Scarborough	Defunct	12	57.3	687
117	Nelson	North West Counties League Division One North	10	68.2	682
118	Merthyr Town	Southern League Premier Division South	10	58.6	586
119	Burton Swifts	Defunct	9	57.6	518
120	Ashington	Northern Premier League	8	64.6	517
121	Dagenham & Redbridge	National League	9	56.0	504
122	Rotherham County	Defunct	6	77.7	466
123	Durham City	Wearside Football League Division Two	7	63.1	442
124	Darwen	Defunct	8	51.6	413
125	Burton United	Defunct	6	61.2	367
126	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	60.3	362
127	Rushden & Diamonds	Defunct	5	62.2	311
128	Aldershot Town	National League	5	60.2	301
129	New Brighton Tower	Defunct	3	95.0	285
130	Aberdare Athletic	Defunct	6	46.5	279
131	Accrington	Defunct	5	55.2	276
132	Kidderminster Harriers	National League	5	55.0	275
133	Boston United	National League North	5	53.6	268
134	Salford City	League Two	4	66.5	266
135	Burton Wanderers	Defunct	3	78.7	236
136	Loughborough	Defunct	5	41.4	207
137	Maidstone United	Defunct	3	55.3	166
138	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	54.0	162
139	Stalybridge Celtic	Northern Premier League Division One West	2	71.5	143
140	Rotherham Town	Defunct	3	45.3	136
141	Sutton United	League Two	2	67.0	134
142	Thames	Defunct	2	50.0	100
143	Northwich Victoria	North West Counties League Premier Division	2	34.5	69
144	Middlesbrough Ironopolis	Defunct	1	47.0	47
145	Bootle	Defunct	1	45.0	45​

2023 Observations

• Despite now both having the exact same points, Manchester City overtake Everton to become the 4th most successful Football League club of all time due to City reaching the total in four fewer seasons.
• Birmingham City and Wolverhampton Wanderers are also on the exact same points after 120 shared seasons in the Football League. Wolves stay behind sue to their 4 extra seasons.
• Even with Luton's rapid climb up from non-league football they are still not the lowest placed Premier League team. They sit above Brighton, Brentford, and Bournemouth.
• Following Notts County's reentry into the Football League, Olham Athletic are now the most successful former Football League club
• AFC Wimbledon are this years highest climbers after leapfrogging two defunct clubs and Nelson FC, currently languishing in the North West Counties League Division One North
• 2023 is the second year in a row to feature no new club promoted to the Football League, with the most recent one being Sutton United in 2021

Part Two - Average Finishing Position of the Current 92
Last year I introduced a secondary ranking method, based on finishing positions rather than points won. Each club is assigned a number from 1 to 92 based on where they finish at the end of the season (1 to 20 for Premier League, 21 to 44 for Championship, etc). This is then done for every season of league football for each club and divided by the number of seasons they've spent in the Football League to give their average finishing position in the pyramid.
Unlike part 1 however, I've only included the current 92 Football League clubs. This is due to clubs such as the original Accrington only playing 5 Football League seasons in the late 1800s when there was only 1 division - meaning their average finishing position was higher than a lot of top tier mainstays.
So, here is the historical average finishing position of the 92 Football League clubs that will partake in the 2023/24 season:

	Club	Current Status	Total Seasons	Total Pos	Average
1	Liverpool	Premier League	119	943	7.9
2	Arsenal	Premier League	119	1010	8.5
3	Everton	Premier League	124	1218	9.8
4	Manchester United	Premier League	120	1195	10.0
5	Tottenham Hotspur	Premier League	112	1197	10.7
6	Aston Villa	Premier League	124	1464	11.8
7	Chelsea	Premier League	107	1381	12.9
8	Manchester City	Premier League	120	1595	13.3
9	Newcastle United	Premier League	119	1676	14.1
10	Sunderland	Championship	122	2064	16.9
11	West Bromwich Albion	Championship	124	2239	18.1
12	West Ham United	Premier League	97	1790	18.5
13	Leeds United	Championship	96	1869	19.5
14	Blackburn Rovers	Championship	124	2487	20.1
15	Wolverhampton Wanderers	Premier League	124	2543	20.5
16	Derby County	League One	124	2618	21.1
17	Leicester City	Premier League	118	2607	22.1
18	Middlesbrough	Championship	113	2393	21.2
19	Sheffield Wednesday	Championship	120	2662	22.2
20	Sheffield United	Premier League	120	2677	22.3
21	Bolton Wanderers	League One	124	2840	22.9
22	Nottingham Forest	Premier League	120	2760	23.0
23	Birmingham City	Championship	120	2808	23.4
24	Stoke City	Championship	114	2686	23.6
25	Southampton	Championship	96	2411	25.1
26	Burnley	Premier League	124	3257	26.3
27	Ipswich Town	Championship	78	2177	27.9
28	Preston North End	Championship	124	3733	30.1
31	Fulham	Premier League	105	3455	32.9
29	Portsmouth	League One	96	3171	33.0
30	Charlton Athletic	League One	95	3144	33.1
32	Crystal Palace	Premier League	107	3552	33.2
33	Huddersfield Town	Championship	102	3400	33.3
34	Norwich City	Championship	97	3242	33.4
35	Coventry City	Championship	97	3344	34.5
36	Blackpool	League One	115	4193	36.5
37	Queens Park Rangers	Championship	97	3547	36.6
38	Cardiff City	Championship	96	3758	39.1
39	Luton Town	Premier League	94	3819	40.6
40	Notts County	League Two	120	5023	41.9
41	Hull City	Championship	107	4549	42.5
42	Barnsley	League One	114	4861	42.6
43	Watford	Championship	96	4118	42.9
44	Millwall	Championship	96	4222	44.0
45	Bristol City	Championship	101	4496	44.5
46	Grimsby Town	League Two	112	5065	45.2
47	Brighton and Hove Albion	Premier League	96	4465	46.5
48	Swansea City	Championship	96	4500	46.9
49	Lincoln City	League One	110	5213	47.4
50	Wigan Athletic	League One	45	2156	47.9
51	Reading	League One	96	4609	48.0
52	Plymouth Argyle	Championship	96	4736	49.3
53	Brentford	Premier League	96	4872	50.8
54	Bradford City	League Two	109	5589	51.3
55	Leyton Orient	League One	105	5631	53.6
56	Oxford United	League One	57	3053	53.6
57	Swindon Town	League Two	96	5194	54.1
58	Port Vale	League One	107	5795	54.2
59	Rotherham United	Championship	91	4941	54.3
60	AFC Bournemouth	Premier League	92	5016	54.5
61	Bristol Rovers	League One	95	5287	55.7
62	Milton Keynes Dons	League Two	19	1093	57.5
63	Tranmere Rovers	League Two	92	5432	59.0
64	Stockport County	League Two	100	5964	59.6
65	Fleetwood Town	League One	11	661	60.1
66	Walsall	League Two	95	5773	60.8
67	Doncaster Rovers	League Two	91	5541	60.9
68	Shrewsbury Town	League One	72	4382	60.9
69	Carlisle United	League One	87	5346	61.4
70	Peterborough United	League One	63	3939	62.5
71	Forest Green Rovers	League Two	6	377	62.8
72	Gillingham	League Two	89	5614	63.1
73	Burton Albion	League One	14	885	63.2
74	Accrington Stanley	League Two	50	3227	64.5
75	Crewe Alexandra	League Two	99	6416	64.8
76	Northampton Town	League One	96	6296	65.6
77	Wycombe Wanderers	League One	30	1970	65.7
78	Colchester United	League Two	71	4713	66.4
79	Cambridge United	League One	44	2945	66.9
80	Newport County	League Two	71	4803	67.6
81	Mansfield Town	League Two	80	5431	67.9
82	Exeter City	League One	91	6347	69.7
83	Barrow	League Two	45	3160	70.2
84	AFC Wimbledon	League Two	12	886	73.8
85	Wrexham	League Two	80	5956	74.5
86	Cheltenham Town	League One	23	1734	75.4
87	Stevenage	League One	13	987	75.9
88	Crawley Town	League Two	12	924	77.0
89	Salford City	League Two	4	308	77.0
90	Sutton United	League Two	2	158	79.0
91	Morecambe	League Two	16	1292	80.8
92	Harrogate Town	League Two	3	259	86.3​

Given the length of this post I may start have to start seperating these two parts into two posts going forwards - please let me know if you think this might make it easier to digest.
I would like to thank the Football Club History Database once again, as it is what made the original 2019 post possible. Its been extremely helpful for this project, but its also really fun to use to read about obscure defunct clubs from the 1890s.