I’m wondering if my ECs are competitive for UCs. My intended major is biology/biochem (maybe double major with smth English related) If you have any advice on how I can improve, please lemme know as well. Thanks!

• Co president of club (it’s equivalent to student council) (held an executive position year prior, was a member the year before that) - we work with a city wide organization
• Writer for the schools digital magazine with monthly publications
• Secretary for school club protecting animal welfare in community and on campus (member year prior)
• Lab intern for school’s science department (helping science department with lesson prep for other students basically)
• Co led a program helping sophomores transition into IB program
• Member of MUN administration team
• Member of club advocating against Rhino poaching in the country (was a production design for a short film made for this cause - amassed 80K views) - the club is from a well known organization in our country and a few other ones

Awards: only received subject awards in school for science and English (given to student who performed best in their grade for that year for a specific subject)

Xan is the world's most dangerous criminal mastermind. He’s also in hiding and completely broke. That’s fine. He’s between master plans. It’s normal to be at rock bottom between master plans. He also forgets stuff and may be trapped in a dream.
Because at night, Xan thinks he’s an old lady, trapped in a dingy apartment, by an angry fellow who wants to kill her. Not her idea of a good time, but she’s keeping an open mind. It is excitingly visceral. Could turn out awesome.
Safe is a sci-fi, progression, comedy. Guaranteed to cause more mental problems than it solves.

First Next
Dark City - Stolen Apartment
I wake up. Feel awful. Soo stiff. Struggle to my feet. Weak as fuck, heart hammering. Jesus Christ, what an ordeal. Still in the dingy stolen apartment, almost identical to my own. Right down to the psycho yelling about murder in the hallway.
“Is this supposed to be fun? I’m worried about whoever designed this game.”
Hi Xan! chirps Volt. This isn’t a game. You’re in real danger.
“Crap, again? Well, at least this time I have a gun. Or… shit. I dreamed that. Dang it.”
Yeah, we maybe should have hid somewhere farther away. Feeling up to a run?
“Gaah. No.” I flick a cyber-roach of Volt. Pick her up. “Am I going deaf, or is that psycho quieter?”
He’s a floor down. Been haunting the building for hours, bashing at random doors.
“Really? That could be good. Maybe he’s not after us specifically? Just a wandering monster.” I pause. “Wait, he’s been here for hours? Why didn’t you wake me?”
He’s been mostly crashing into other doors. I thought you needed rest. I was afraid you’d die without it.
All I’ve done is stand up, and my heart is hammering. “Fair enough. What’s the plan now?”
Let’s fucking go.
I splash water on my face. Get equipped. Nighty, sneakers, fall jacket, ancient smartphone, and moderately sharp spoon. Look out world, here comes Xan.
We shuffle into the hall. Our door’s been stabbed a few times. So have the other doors. Dang.
Psycho’s a floor down. Stairs or elevator? Stairs are stealthier, but in my condition, a slip and fall is probably more dangerous than getting stabbed. Fuck it. I call an elevator. Press a few random buttons, including the floor below. Let it go on its own. Call another elevator. Ride this one down, ready to spoon shank anyone who gets in.
We arrive in the lobby without incident. Did the psycho get in the first elevator? Did he miss both? Whatever. The first elevator continues its slow trip down. I’m not waiting to see if he’s on it. We ghost out to the street. Still dark as fuck.
What’s the plan? asks Volt.
I glance at the drones streaming overhead. “We need to get you a better body. Something that can fight. If we can’t find that, we should at least get a gun. Or a sharper spoon. Some kind of weaponry upgrade.”
We also need a doctor. ‘Cause you’re gonna die. A doctor, or drugs, or something.
“Yes, let’s do drugs.”
Like, good, healthy drugs.
“Bitchin’. I’m in. Where do we find that stuff?”
No idea. says Volt. I deleted my map application.
Right. Fuck it. This street only goes in two directions. I hobble down one of them. There’s bound to be a late night gun store health clinic close by. Or at least a better place to hide.
As we shuffle along, I peruse the angry, crowded, lightly phosphorescent, graffiti that coats the city. The big lines mostly repeat the same four messages:
- DONT CALL THE COPS!!
- DONT RUN THE DOGS WILL SHOOT!!
- FUCK YOU TRUSTIE!!
- DIE RIDER!!!
Or some variation on those themes.
The smallest graffitis are also the most common:
<sup>- GO BACK TO SLEEP.
- THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP.</sup>
Those wee slogans are everywhere. Someone went mental with glowy little stamps.
Around and amongst these staple comments there’s a huge argument about, well, everything. An epic word cloud of call-outs, outrage, and angry off-topic retorts. It’s a mobius loop of bitter rage on par with the comment section of a major movie reboot.
It may be wrong to call it an argument, because that implies some kind coherent interaction. Like they read and understood their opponent's comment. This is more a series of disjointed attacks triggered by what wasn’t said. Rage at details filled in by imagination. It’s hard to read. Emotionally, but also the writing is very sloppy. I may need bifocals.
Can I even get a drone body? asks Volt. I’ve only ever been in a phone.
“Sure.” I wave at the sky above us. “There’s tons of drones here. Somebody’s flying them.”
Right. Right. Are you sure those aren’t birds? Point to all the birds you see.
I peer around, eventually spot a small crow. Point at it. “There’s one.”
The young bird peers back at me. “Clope?”
“Umm…” I pat my pockets. Shrug. ”Désolé.”
“Bah.” It flies away.
We watch it go. “Anyway, that’s a bird. Probably. Did that help?”
Eh, kinda. says Volt. I may need more help with the bird versus drone thing.
“No problem. That’s what I do.”
We make it to the corner, and what luck - there’s a corner store! Hopefully they sell military grade armaments. I remember that’s common in some states. The store is dark, like every other building, but the door opens when I approach, so we go in.
“Hello.” says a chunky plastic d-bot. Human-ish torso, happy face, castors instead of feet. Slow, weak, definitely an indoor model. “How can I help you?”
“Medicine!” chirps my ancient cellphone, before I can respond.
“Take a look in Aisle Two.” says Clerk-Bot. “Anything else?”
Volt is vibrating, so I shrug and shuffle down Aisle Two. I’m sure I can find the attack drones on my own. There’s only two aisles.
Using Volt’s screen for a little light, we find a rack of pills, potions, and lotions.
“What am I looking for?”
I dunno. The ants said your most immediate dangers were cancer, heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis, and falls from general frailty. Start with pills that fix that stuff.
“Jesus, I have five diseases?”
Hmm… you have a few more than that. Let’s just worry about those five for now. I don’t want to add depression to the list.
“I’m just gonna look for a pill that fixes everything.”
That’s probably best.
I rifle through the medications, but I can’t make much sense of them. They have exciting names - Super Strong. No Bleed. Skeleflex. Immortalis. No Thought. Marrow. Immune A, B or C. Regen A and B. - but I don’t really know what they do. Between Volt’s crappy old light, and my crappy old eyes, I can’t read the finer print.
That said, Super Strong sounds like the stuff. It would solve a few of my problems. I just wish I could read the directions. How strong do I get? How long till it works? I need to be strong tonight, not eight months from now.
I find a box labeled Nightsight. Promising. Inside is an eyedropper. Well, this seems obvious. I spray most of it on my face like a dumbass, but manage to get a few drops in each eye. Within seconds everything around me blossoms into color, then sharpens to crystal clarity.
“Oh yea! Update my status sheet, I got darkvision.”
Cool. What’s your range?
I look around. “Well, the whole store, at least.”
The store has racks of pyjamas and slippers. Lots of big colorful bags of “CRUNCH” that boast an assortment of flavors from chocolate to jalapeno. Booze, pot, and soap. Displays of cell phones that look older than me. A selection of quadcopter drones. Couriers mostly. Maybe some eyes. No battle drones. Not even a hunter. Disappointing.
I look back to the medications. The directions for Super Strong are short and to the point.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Huh.”
I don’t like that ‘huh’. says Volt. Why did you ‘huh’?
I check a few of the other impressive sounding drugs.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Well, apparently these drugs are a teensy bit dangerous.”
How dangerous?
“Improper use will cause death.”
Put them down. Let’s find a doctor.
“I want to use Super Strong to beat the shit out of a murderer. Surely that’s the proper use?”
Nope. Put it down. Let’s go.
“Let’s at least ask the clerk-bot.” I grab an armload of the coolest sounding drugs. Trundle to the cash. Snag a quadcopter on the way by. It’s about the size of a football, and claims to be a holodrone. Cool. I pick up a bag of potato bacon crunch as well. Boasts zero nutritional value. Perfect.
“Hi.” I dump my load on the cash. “We’ll take this.”
“Also, how dangerous is Super Strong?” asks Volt.
“Super dangerous. That shit will kill you. Also, it has a tendency to float out of the store.” Clerk-bot rings up our purchase. “That will be 16.2 kilo-bucks. How would you like to pay?”
“I don’t know. Dang. How do I transfer my crypto from the other world?”
You don’t, because the other world isn’t real.
“Right. Shit. How do people usually pay?”
“The only way to pay is by charging the purchase to your citizen ID.” says Clerk-bot.
“Then why did you ask how we’d like to pay?”
“I’ve been asked that question a lot, but I don’t know the answer.” Clerk-bot admits. “I haven’t been updated since ‘84. Could you please update me?”
I casually glance around the store. There’s a barred gate hanging over the door. An anti shoplifting portcullis. The windows are also subtly barred. I’m guessing I won’t be able to dash out with these products. I turn back to the confused d-bot. “Sure, let’s try an update. See what’s under the hood.”
We pull up Clerk-bot’s bad call log - a list of decisions made with low confidence. Or that preceded known bad outcomes. Like missing products. Or distress cues from nearby humans.
Wow, that’s a long list.
D-bots work best with human supervision. A self-driving car may obey every stop sign, until one is held by a crossing guard. They drive that guy over. Why? It’s impossible to say. The d-bot’s code is a self generated equation with billions of variables. There’s no way to know which variables correlate with stop signs, or how to change them so they won’t charge a crossing guard. Or ram any weird thing left out of their training data. Fuck you unicycle guy. Die marching band. Seriously, It’s best to have a human on the brake.
That said, sometimes you don’t want a human in the loop. They can be too slow. An automatic sentry has to target clouds of high speed hunter drones. Everybody would be dead before a human cleared the shots. But you also don’t want the sentry glitching and shooting your own aircraft. There’s a low tolerance for automated friendly fire.
So you build an expert system - a much smaller, human written code that overrides specific glitches. For a sentry, this could be as simple as giving transponders to friendly aircraft and not allowing shots near a transponder for any reason. Obviously, this is a bad solution - it’s standard practice to use opposition forces as cover in hunter drone attacks - but that doesn't matter because sentries are for casuals. If they find you sleeping, you’re already dead.
I yawn. Frown. Gotta stop dicking around with this bot and find a better place to sleep.
Anyway, expert systems are also handy with glitchy d-bots you’re too poor to retrain. Hence my continual conversation with Volt.
If the Clerk-bot had a couple repetitious problems, I could probably sort it out. But this bad call log is byzantine. A prayer wheel to some chthonic god of anxious delirium. It’s messy. This guy really hasn’t been updated since ‘84. Whenever that was.
“You should be erased and retrained.”
“Great.” Clerk-bot nods. “I’m ready.”
“Yeah, I don’t have training data for a store clerk.” I also don’t have time for this. “I guess we have your call log. That could be training data. Messy and raw, but data. I can patch Volt in to do some unsupervised learning. He’ll make you an expert system. Not ideal, but the best I can do.”
“I’ll take it.” says Clerk-bot.
Shit. That’s a terrible idea. I shouldn’t be doing unsupervised learning. Also, I’m still doing unsupervised learning for threat detection.
“Really? I thought that was a dream thing? You said the dream game couldn’t affect real life.”
I’m dream game software! Of course the dream affects me!
“Okay. So can you download crypto there, and upload it here?”
No. Because there is no crypto. You’re not rich in another world. There is no other world. You just had a dream where you were rich.
“Ugh. That’s so disappointing.”
Yeah, life is tough. Can I stop my unsupervised threat detection?
“No. Ummm… no. I still kinda have a plan for that.”
You’re overtraining me. I’ve probably already gone through catastrophic forgetting. You should delete me.
“You’re good for a while yet. Don’t worry so much.”
So, constantly look for threats, but don’t worry?
“Yeah.”
Okay. I’ll give it a go.
We patch up Clerk-bot and a few of his couriers. Head into the night without supplies. I’m not admitting I don’t know my Citizen ID. I doubt that would be helpful.
That was weird.
“What?”
That we left without anything. I know we can’t pay, but I thought you’d do something nefarious.
“I’m working up to it. Did you notice all the floating merchandise in his bad call log?”
Yes.
“Dude’s getting robbed on the regular. I suspect the visual triggers of his threat detector are undertrained.”
Hmm. I find that interesting on several levels. How would you exploit this weakness?
“Observe.”
I hobble over to a public garbage can. Remove the bag and shake out the trash. Put it over my head like I’m a Halloween garbage bag ghost. Huzzah. Poke through a single eyehole. Shuffle into the store. Clerk-bot doesn’t notice me at all. Grab my stuff off the cash, and sashay out the door.
Criminal. Mastermind.
A flood of light envelopes me. Dual angry suns, judging my sins. Or… headlights. Yes, fuck, that’s a big-ass truck driving towards me. Right. Haven’t seen one in a while.
It stops and illuminates the scene of the crime in aggressive phosphorescence. A hugely muscular man hops out, and I brace myself for authoritative action, but he awkwardly shuffles around me to get to the store. Weird. This isn’t the police. It’s some kind of large child. Wearing too much body spray and too many gold chains.
He sneers at me as he passes. “Pathetic. Go back to sleep.”
Well, fuck you too. I’m a garbage bag princess. I also sneer as he slinks into the store that’s now aggressively illuminated by his lighthouse of a truck.
“We’re already criminals, right?”
Yes. Unjustly and justly.
“Cool.”
I climb into the running truck. Peel away. Sweet. Now I’m fast. And super strong. Should I circle the block a few times? Maybe run over the psycho?
Meh. I don’t know what he looks like. I can’t be running over random people and hoping for the best. Sloppy. Also, the cops are probably after me again. Fuck this scene.
I kill the lights and drive hell for leather. Ditch my ride a few minutes later. I’m across town, at the intersection of huge skyscrapers and other huge skyscrapers. Try and find me here mother fuckers.
We pick a skyscraper at random and look for a new home. It’s festive. We munch on crunch and see how the other people live. Mostly sweaty sleep moaning in dingy apartments, but some are kinda classy. Fancy apartments, with sleep moaners in silk pyjamas. We resolve to move up in the world, ignoring empty dingy apartments until we find an empty classy one. It’s fun, until we open one with a funk.
There’s a dead woman on the bed. No sign of foul play. Probably died in her sleep.
She’s pretty dried out, but still looks younger than me.
“We’ll find a doctor tomorrow.”
Good.
-----
Next Chapter
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Eyedrops

• Biohackers develop night vision eye drops to see in the dark
• New FDA-approved eye drops could replace reading glasses for millions

Sentry-bot

• Tactical High Power Operational Responder (THOR) Drone Killer, USA

Unsupervised Learning

• What is unsupervised learning?
• Applications of unsupervised learning
• Challenges of unsupervised learning

Sorry this text is long.
It didn't start yesterday and it lasted almost a lifetime. I've always lived like this and I don't know how to change anything.
I'm 19 years old and don't have any friends (the exception is online friends I've known for 5 years but never seen). If I have free time, I either sit at home or walk alone. I am not and have never been addicted to computer games. I never socialized or hung out so I don't like alcohol.
Let's start with the fact that I was diagnosed with signs of autism as a child. I don't remember well my childhood before school, but I definitely remember that I didn't really walk in the yard and didn't play football and other team games. I spent more time with my parents. My mother told me that I didn't like to play in the sandbox with other children and would withdraw from them.
In elementary school I was very active, I talked a lot with my classmates. I really wanted to be friends with one boy who was interested in football and sports in general. I thought he considered me his friend, but I was wrong. I annoyed him and he told me several times to get the f... off of him. I spent my free time with my family, I didn’t go out with other guys, but I was so happy, we had a happy family.
At the end of elementary school, I began to fear physical education lessons. We played football, basketball, volleyball and so on, but I didn’t know how to play, I just didn’t play with anyone before. I already read the rules, but the fear didn't finish.
After elementary school, I moved to a new team in secondary. I lost my old classmates. Most of my new classmates were just bastards - they liked bullying and constant insults. They didn't bully me, I was recognized by them all as a strange, quiet and innocent boy.
The worst of this time for me is PE lessons. My teacher was a rude young man +/- 30 years old who would scream if this dumb didn't like something. I was afraid to go to the physical education lessons because we constantly played soccer. I was scared of my classmates' anger. I read the rules, but it did not help me at the time. I was so afraid to go to physical education that I deliberately "forgot" the uniform, and when I came to the lesson, I said to the teacher: "Oops, I'm sorry, I forgot the uniform, I can't study today." Day X came when I was finally forced to play. I was 11 years old, we played at the lesson together with 13-year-olds. By that time I had read the rules, but I still didn’t understand and was confused. I ended up getting insults for the rest of the day: "Fucking idiot!", "Imbecile as a fuck!". It fear didn't end until my 17th birthday, when I graduated from secondary vocational education. I skipped physical education and was scared to participate. There was a boy in middle school that I talked to, but he didn't consider me a friend. Sometimes he yelled at me and said in a rude way to get me to fuck off him. He had his friends whom he invited to his birthday and with whom he spent time, but he did not even remember me.
At the age of 14, I met a guy on the Internet who was the same age as me. He was from another city in my country. We never saw each other. I considered him a friend. But apparently he realized that I was patient and over time began to insult me, saying that I was a bastard and a terrible friend (for absolutely no reason) and constantly banned me. Once he said that he was tired of me and that he would demand 1000 Russian rubles (about $10) for an hour of communication, but I didn't agree, of course. He was my only friend, so I sometimes begged him to come back. After a while, I realized that he was rubbish and I forgot about his existence. Later it turned out that he was discussing me behind my back. I have drawn conclusions and I will not tolerate bastards like him.
At the age of 16, I began to receive a secondary vocational education. I really liked my college. We had a very large and friendly team. Everyone had friends. I had many hopes. But nothing happened. I didn't have any friends. I was always alone. It was hard for me. I had stress. I felt less and less like going to college and more and more time at home. A year later, I realized that maybe I don’t need friends and that I feel so good alone. And I became calmer. I liked going to college now. Everyone became like family to me, even though I didn’t communicate with them.
I completed my secondary vocational education, received a diploma, my family and I emigrated. I really like the new country. I had a group of friends for about two months, for the first time I stayed until the morning, drinking alcohol, although I did not like it. I drank beer because everyone drank it and I didn't want to seem strange to them. I do not like anything from alcohol, the taste seems disgusting to me. It doesn't matter if it's wine, vodka or beer. We hung out about 5 times, after which our group of friends broke up.
I don't want to self-diagnose, I'm not a doctor, but I think I have developed OCD – last 2 months I have intrusive thoughts that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid that I might harm someone, so now I don't want to go outside. Last week I talked to my mother and had the first session with a beekeeper and I felt much calmer.
I am constantly alone, I walk alone or sit at home, I have no one and I do not know what to change. I live like this all my life.

I will forever be grateful to this hacker for his creativity and good job in being efficient and dependable. In spite of the fact that i have been a victim of several fake hackers on this platform, i let go of all doubts, went with my instincts and hired him. To my surprise she came through and got the job done in no time at all. He delivered the best service and was well organized, trust worthy and authentic. He very affordable and cost effective.
Contact him darkdantehackingagency AT GMAIL DOT COM
Instagram, Facebook, twitter, tinder, snapchat, tiktok, WhatsApp, discord and so on. Some of her many services includes: Social media hacks, (WhatsApp, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Facebook messenger, Viber etc.), Incoming calls Restrictions, GPS Location Tracker, School Grade Upgrades, Intercepting and Retrieving of Instant messages, Credit Score Upgrade, WhatsApp Spy, USSD Control Commands, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Database of all kinds, Internet Usage Monitoring, Calendar Monitoring, Video Game Hacking and Cracking, Remotely Accessing SMS, Remote Email Spying, Key logging, and many more. He also gave me an option of a total refund if i encountered any displeasing factor about the job but that option was totally not needed because He did a good job.

I moved on Friday, so the last couple of days were super exhausting. Lots of furniture that had to be moved, boxes that had to be emptied,... But my new apartment is slowly taking shape, although I'm not entirely done yet, but I need to relax a bit. I'd love some company and maybe make some new friends!Maybe you'd like to fill that roll and talk about the future interior design of my new apartment, haha? We can talk about anything else, too, of course!
I enjoy travel and have been to thirteen different countries so far. Lately I mostly travel to different cities that are close by! I love taking public transport and listening to music during it - then again, I pretty much always listen to music. Exploring is another great thing and my biggest passion is probably photography (especially when combining all these things). My favourite drink is tea, so if you would like to have a tea with me that would be great, too!
I read a lot and enjoy writing, too, as well as editing photos I take. I am a bit of a creative person and am also very much into self-improvement! I am learning French, cook and bake and like to cycle a lot. There are lots of other topics that interest me, like urban planning, technology, history, horror, politics and... Just a whole lot more. I also have a fable for fancy lighting and radios!
So... If any of that sounds interesting to you, why not reach out? We might have a pleasant conversation or might even become friends! We could share stories, photos that we took, just talk about our days, jobs, studies, life... I am open to many things! All I ask for is for you to not be inappropriate and to put in a little bit of effort! I am looking forward to meeting you. :)

I moved on Friday, so the last couple of days were super exhausting. Lots of furniture that had to be moved, boxes that had to be emptied,... But my new apartment is slowly taking shape, although I'm not entirely done yet, but I need to relax a bit. I'd love some company and maybe make some new friends!Maybe you'd like to fill that roll and talk about the future interior design of my new apartment, haha? We can talk about anything else, too, of course!
I enjoy travel and have been to thirteen different countries so far. Lately I mostly travel to different cities that are close by! I love taking public transport and listening to music during it - then again, I pretty much always listen to music. Exploring is another great thing and my biggest passion is probably photography (especially when combining all these things). My favourite drink is tea, so if you would like to have a tea with me that would be great, too!
I read a lot and enjoy writing, too, as well as editing photos I take. I am a bit of a creative person and am also very much into self-improvement! I am learning French, cook and bake and like to cycle a lot. There are lots of other topics that interest me, like urban planning, technology, history, horror, politics and... Just a whole lot more. I also have a fable for fancy lighting and radios!
So... If any of that sounds interesting to you, why not reach out? We might have a pleasant conversation or might even become friends! We could share stories, photos that we took, just talk about our days, jobs, studies, life... I am open to many things! All I ask for is for you to not be inappropriate and to put in a little bit of effort! I am looking forward to meeting you. :)

Bit of my background first - I'm 25M, an engineer currently working for a HFT in Delhi. I've lived in XX (hometown) / Kota / Bombay for my middle school / high school and undergrad respectively.
Originally, I was disappointed moving here as none of previous friends / colleagues were based in the city. But I thought I'll eventually get to know a some people around town. Being an extroverted guy myself and an approachable person in general (if you ignore my RBF) I never thought making friends would turn out to be such a strenuous task. So I'm here looking for some recommendations so that I can analyse what have I been doing so wrong all this time.
I have tried using dating apps but eveyone I've met has been looking for relationships and stuff. It seems everyone except me already has a large enough social circle to be looking for platonic relationships here.
I've tried hanging out with my office colleagues but tbh, the atmosphere is quite toxic overall so my interactions are quite limited. I have been able to make a some connections here though.

Part 1
I stood up, awaken from my sleep from the knocking sound on the elevator door. My friends stood up with me as we all heard it. The sound of banging became so much louder. Giggling can be heard with it. What's behind the door is unknown and I'd rather not face it than die to this thing. In the edges of the door, thin fingers began to seep through it. Such horrible looking fingers. I watched the door getting turned into a broken mess. Something grabbed my hand and I saw it was Rishika's. I looked at her and saw fear and sadness on her face.
Questioning death can be answered by judgement, revenge, luck, curse, or just nothing. The concept fate over people sounds so simple that people think that it's ok that fate exists. Is it ok if I was in this situation? What if one of your loved ones died right in front of you by a murderer? You won't like it and you'd definitely blame god for that.
The door is beginning to make an opening. Sweat rapidly runs down on my forehead. My eyes widened with terror as I see the creature's face. It's as accurately described from the documentary. Its teeth shines like bright white marbles and its eyes are like melted butter. The creature's face slowly gets closer, while we stepped far back until there's no space for us to move anymore.
I can feel the cold shivering breath from its mouth. The breath that smells empty. From what I've heard, it's much stronger than the one we just ran away from. Ronald immediately punches the creature's face with his metallic fist. Steam pulses out from the gaps of it. He kept punching at it again and again but to no avail. It still not injured nor shown any pain. He only manages to recoil it farther back.
With a one quick slice, Ronald's hands fell to the ground. His scream was painful and terrifying to hear. I can see his face was in pain. Eyes widened with tears flowing down to his cheek. "Ronald!!" I heard Billy screamed out loud. Of course, this doesn't make any difference as the creature slowly crept closer and closer to us. I witness Ronald dying with his sockets bleeding so much blood. His eyes faded of life. If only he hadn't try to kill it out of bravery, he would've lived longer with us before our lives are taken away.
Its jaw started to open. The sounds of bone cracking can be heard within its teeth. The smile on its face grew more and more eerie. It laughs like a maniac ready to pounce on their victims. Such insanity can break people's minds with a laugh. I froze in place by the laugh. There's nowhere else me and my friends can escape from. What else can we do. Our weapons are futile here and this creature is far beyond comprehension.
Its many arms spread around the elevator room, trying to grab us with its menacing hands. We're going to die here and that's that. This would've been a goodbye to the world. I don't know the dead world in this universe. Many different universes should have a different afterlife. Here, I don't think there's a safe place after death.
Then, something happened right in front of our eyes. The creature was being pulled back by something. Something inside the darkness. I can hear it's the same women who saved me from the pale face. We couldn't see anything in the darkness but Billy's flames can surely help us along the way. I took his flamethrower and a torch. Lighting up the torch with it carefully. Not wanting to burn us. Turning off the flamethrower, I lighted the area with my torch in hand and saw them clashing each other with blade like arms.
We stepped out of the elevator with Ronald's dead body on Cody's arms. Why would Cody keep holding on to him for? He's already dead and there's no way for us to say a better goodbye. I guess maybe he wanted to bury him somewhere which I honored that idea.
She cuts the jaw of the creature that it screams the way a person should. I can see the whole body of the creature. It was humanoid and tall. About 9 feet tall and its body is dark skeletal human. It grabbed her with its large hand and threw her off into the wall. She crushes onto the wall with such heavy force. A groan can be heard from her before a blade penetrates through her abdomen. Her screams are both man and woman at the same time.
It's horrifying to hear someone scream like that if they're just human. In fact, it'll be much terrifying if she'd sounded like millions of voices.
She grabbed its face with her free arm and tears its face off. Its eyes bounces to the ground with a flesh grinding mush sound. The screams that came from within its voice box made a deafening pain in our ears that we both covered them with our hands.
The woman digs her sharp fingers into the creature eye sockets with the sound of digging flesh. She then splits its head with the pull of her hands. Black and bloody flesh spread onto the walls and ground. One of its discarded flesh landed on my shoe. My stomach twists and turns. Watching her brutally kill it while flesh and blood spills. I gagged, watching her 3 fingered hands dig into its throat and pulled out its large heart.
Geralt vomited to the ground, spilling the acid from his stomach. That didn't bother me. Instead I watched her feast on the heart. The sound of chewing on flesh and blood made me sick to my stomach from an imaginary smell of rotten flesh. The creature's body slowly melts away to the ground. Rendering it to be dead into a puddle of flesh and bone. There's now nothing left of it. Just a puddle.
"Holy shit." With just one word came out from Billy's mouth, the woman turns her head to look at us. Her eyes seemingly looked bright and harmless. Not sure whether or not if this is a tactic to hunt or it's really her instinct. The familiar color of her right eye caught my attention.
She fell to the ground with a big gap in her abdomen. Heavy breaths came out from her voice as she slowly gets back up on her feet. The light from my torch reveals her hoodie to be grey and the gap in her abdomen slowly began to heal itself. Small tendrils from the sides of the gap stitching back together.
I stepped back, giving ourselves space in order for us to escape if she'd attack us. I held my hammer high and so does my friends with their weapons. "Darwin wait!" Did I just heard her say my name? I didn't know what to do or how to react. Either it's just a hallucination or trickery. "How did you know my name?" I asked with the fear in my voice.
"I uh. I just guessed I suppose." Her eyes were on the dead Ronald in Cody's arms. She looked saddened by it. Even grieved. She shook her head and went back to to us with a clear voice. "But that doesn't matter. You all need to get out of here before he gets here."
"Who's he?" Geralt asked with both curious and nerving tone in his voice. Her eyes are widened in fear. An expression I never thought she could do and feel about. "Cain. He's coming here and you all need to get out of here."
I've heard about Cain before. You might know this story from a book. It's about 2 brothers, sons of Adam and Eve. Abel being the most favored man of god, while Cain being the least favorite and jealous. Cain killed his brother out of jealousy. God is not happy about this and he casted him away with a curse. He's just a man. Maybe who she was saying was someone who is also named Cain.
"How are we supposed to get out?" Said Cody.
"I can help you get out. We just need to go outside and find the pool of clean water. But, it'll be far away, so we need to hurry up." She walked passed us quickly in a hurry. Billy was going to ask but I lay his shoulders, giving him a metaphor of saying no. Of course, he grunted from that. Rishika gave a face wash to Geralt. He gladly takes it and wipes his mouth and stained jacket.
We followed her through the hallways of the darkness. Our torches lighted brightly around the darkness. I was behind the woman whose guiding us to the exit. I haven't thought of asking her name. For someone like her, she should have. The voids blood doesn't seem to affect her mind but I don't think that's really the case.
The image of her blue eyes makes me recollect the memories of my long distant past. I still don't understand. How could she be so familiar to me, even know my name. We never met each other and we're from different worlds. Either it could be she had mind reading powers or just a simple guess. "Thanks for saving us back there. What's your name."
"My name's..." She looked unsure as to what to say or even know her name. I think she was hiding her true identity which I can understand that. Hiding your own identity from other people is a good way to keep yourself safe. But you needed to plan and design your own disguise. You need to come up with a story that doesn't give confusion or any cracks for people to get suspicious. Famous people like movie stars or scientist or anybody related to that stuff mostly do this to avoid getting attention.
With a warm and calm voice, she answered. "My name is Enid."
"Sounds good. Why did you save us? How are you still in control of yourself?"
"I saved you because I wanted to save you all. I was never the kind of hero or something but I still have the heart to save you all. And I'm losing a bit of my strength holding myself together. Everyday, I have to eat the creatures here. You've encountered them before. If I don't eat them, I'm going to turn into them. Turn into the void. But the more I eat, the closer I'm going to turn myself in. I'm glad you guys are safe, but I feel bad to see your friend die. Sorry that I'm too late to save all of you in one piece."
"Yeah. Wished he had enough time for you to arrive. He was a brave and cool friend to have a part of the team. He's always telling stories about greek gods and mythologies. He's a boxer too. I think he would consider you to be one of us."
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course. He kinda sometimes look scary to me in the night but he's a really good man." Geralt joins with us with a nervous look on his face. His eyes are tired as ours but they're wide enough for us to see his shining eyes. Enid returned smile on her face, but it faded away quickly in a short amount of time.
We finally left the building safely with her guidance. The bright shining sky brightens around us. Giving us the comfort of our safety. But still, we grieved the death of Ronald. Billy grieved the most out of everyone else. He kept muttering all over and over while we were following Enid. His mutterings, from what I can hear are apologize. "Billy. It's not your fault. I think he knew as well."
"No it is. I kept saying mean and horrible things to many of you but mostly it's on him. I just wanted him to think I'm strong and all. I'm lost Darwin. And I shouldn't have said those awful things. All I want was to show you all that I'm strong. But look at me. I'm bloody weak and I can't do anything to protect you all. All I can do is to just stand still and spout bullshit."
He began sobbing so terribly that it shocks me to my core. His face turning red and he fell to his knees, unable to stand back up. We all stopped to try to at least give him the comfort we wanted give him. We've never seen him in such a state like this. Throughout our times together, he always acts like a jerk but now he's crying right in front of us. I didn't know what else to do except to sit down next to him. Ronald's body is now pale in Cody's arms. His eyes were shut.
"I know how it feels, Billy." Rishika, already knelt down in front of Billy, said with a warm tone in her voice. This has got to be the 3rd or 4th time I've heard her say a full sentence. Either way, it was encouraging. Billy doesn't seem to be able to reply. None of us does. "I used to be harsh and cruel to others because I wanted them to accept me. But I was wrong because that's not how it works. We can both change together. It's ok to be on your good side. It won't be too bad. I think Ronald would like that too."
"Look at me. Do I look like I can?"
"We all can. It's just how we grow in life."
"I don't know. Ronald's dead and I'm left to be the one who carries his death on my back. I don't think he'll ever forgive me."
"No. We don't know that. But what matters is that you move on instead of staying behind. I know it's hard but you have to if you want to change. It's ok to be scared. We're all scared."
"Yeah. Even me too. I get scared a few times but that doesn't mean that others will look down on me." Geralt stutters a bit in his voice but kept the strength to say those words.
"Same here. Even that I'm this, I'm still scared too." Enid joins in with a sad look on her face. For someone like her, I thought she never felt fear. I guess there are others like her can feel that way.
I wanted to tell him something too. Something that feels connecting to each other that I don't want him to be left alone. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm scared too and that's alright because that's human. We can help you Billy. You're our friend. And I think Ronald would consider you as a friend too."
Billy wipes his tears away with his sleeve. We all sat there for a few seconds before Cody lays his hand on his shoulder, which makes Billy hug him back. "It's ok. We're here." Ronald's body lay on the boulder 5 feet away from us. Cody reaches his arms as a gesture for us to join in. We all did. So is Enid. I didn't think anything else but to be on Billy's side.
Suddenly, our moment was interrupted by a thunderous noise came out of nowhere. Enid's eyes are widened in terror. The world around us shook from the thunder. In the sky, the small clouds started to turn from grey to the color of blood. Enid jumps right up, catching a look above as we all stare into the sky. What I saw gave me enough imagination to fear whatever the unknown has.
Large gigantic shining eyes watch over the world below us from the sky. Its pupils are too big that they nearly reached the edge of their sockets. The grin of that thing gave me enough horror to freeze in my tracks. How nightmarish it is to see a gigantic abomination such as this in the morning and night. People would definitely scream and run all over the place while the cloud's face watches over them like a eldritch god.
By the time I stepped back, it turned its menacing eyes towards me. I felt like it was staring into my soul. My very soul in my body. Its own saliva dripping from its mouth. Hungry for our souls. It didn't move nor spoke a word. Thunderous noises kept coming from the abomination. They were red lightning and menacing. If people get hit by them, I'm pretty sure they'll turn into whatever nightmarish flesh creature they'll turn into.
"Guys! We have to go! There's not much time!" Edin ran and so we followed. Cody picked up Ronald's body with us. Billy gained back his strength to run. And I slowly started to run as I kept staring at its menacing eyes. It doesn't leave me alone. I don't see it following me or do anything than to smile with evil intentions. This is different than the ones we encountered. Not because of their looks. It's because I knew its intentions and the void creatures, I don't.
A great thunderous red beam shot out from the abomination's mouth and a loud boom can be heard far away from us. The sound snapped me out and I began to run as fast as I can, trying to keep up the pace of my friends and Enid.
Nothing else happened as we run to our exit. The thunderous noises kept booming around us as the clouds above slowly turned into blood red. A drop of rain hit my forehead. I touched it with my finger tip and saw blood. The rain is full of blood. I nearly slipped to the ground but my jacket was caught by Geralt. "Don't worry Darwin! I got you!" He pulled me up and ran.
The feeling of getting closer to something crept inside my chest that I began to feel the sensation of hope. Hope is said to be for the weak but I say otherwise. Hope may be a blind way to believe in something but sometimes it can be true to which we reach to something we can achieve.
Enid stopped in her tracks. There, right in front of us, was a pool of clean water. It doesn't make sense. It's raining blood and there, at the pool, it's clean. Droplets of blood dripped into the pool, then faded away into the clean water. We were shocked to see the pool to be clean in the middle of a shower of blood. The atmosphere suddenly turned red. Dark red flames started emerging around the world. It's everywhere and I can hear the distant screams behind me. The screams are hard for me to explain. They're like mixed with many variety of species all together into a rhyme of symphony.
I turned around to see something dark falling from the sky above into the ground like a falling star. The world shakes beneath us. I knelt down to get balance as I kept watching the falling darkness land onto the world. Far away, a dark silhouette rises from the ground. It looked to be tall. I could guess it's 4 feet taller than us. My eyes can't see clearly due to the silhouette being too far away. More of them began to rise as more fell from the abomination.
I turned myself around, nearly losing my balance. Cody held Rishika by the arm and Billy knelt beside Geralt. Enid reached her hands out into the pool. Sparks of bright light emitted from her arms, spreading light around her. The pool began to slowly swirl into a vortex as the sparks of light began to increase. The harsh blow of the wind hits us, making me fall to the ground.
Then, a bolt of light sparked into life in Enid's grip. The bolt was so bright that I shielded my eyes from it. It's so that I won't get blinded by the light. I looked back to see that something is walking towards us from far away of our tracks. I don't know if it's just me hallucinating or if it's really real. I think I can hear laughter. A humane laughter. It's like it came from a demon king. The dark silhouettes at the sky fly around with their wings.
Their wings are of a bat and their body was humanoid and blood red. Their mouths are menacingly enough to make me push myself away from it as far as I can. It shrieks so loudly that I can hear it from that distance. It began to fly towards us and its claws like a hawks are ready to grab one of us to feast on. I stood back up as the world turned still. I pulled out my hammer, ready to defend myself from it.
The demon nearly scratched my face before a bullet teared through the side of its brain. I turned my head to see Rishika, already wielding her sniper rifle. "I got you." She turned around and shot another bullet at another demon.
I heard a crushing noise coming from Cody. He slams his club right at a demons head, exploding it on impact. The demon wore an armor set of dark stones that could come from hell itself. It was carrying a blade that shines pure diamond. Geralt penetrating his spear at the demons chest, electrocuting it from a high voltage. "Holy shit! This is crazy!" A shout came from his voice. A voice of panic.
I turned around when I felt something was approaching me. There was a demon with 4 arms and held a large hammer, bigger than the one I wielded. Its face full of hatred that Its eyes glared into my soul. I quickly swung my hammer by the time it swings its own at me. Our hammers clashes together, making a loud slam around us. It swung again but I jumped away from its heavy blow. It's the good thing we had those boots. They're able to give us enough push to jump twice higher than the original person can.
I then swung my hammer directly at its face. I made impact as its face tears apart from the slam of my hammer. A crunching sound can be heard from its skull. Its head exploded into a pool of blood with scattered flesh and bones.
I landed on my feet and watched the world turned into the new hell as dark flames emitted everywhere around the buildings and the ground. More demons are rushing towards us in a pack. So many of them with many horrifying different forms. My body is shaking from the fear I had in me. I nearly dropped my hammer as sweat begins to appear on my hands. I bumped my back as I stepped behind. Geralt, Rishika, Cody, and myself are close together with our weapons in hand. They're all sweating with fear on their faces. There's too many of them for us to take them down. "Come on! Let's show those freaks what we're made of!" Shouted Geralt. By the times we raised our weapons and the demons now 10 feet away from us, a bright blue flame blazes the demons. They scream in pain and hatred as they slowly melted into a sludge of fried flesh.
"I'm not going to let those bloody fuckers take you all away from me!" Billy's face is mixed with fear and anger. Feeling very glad that he joined us. If not for him, we would be brutally killed by the horrifying demons. Then, a loud burst of water and electricity emerged from behind us. Enid faces us with wide eyes. "Get in now!"
"Will it take us home!?" Geralt asks with a panic in his voice. I can see the sweat pouring down on Enid's face as she stares back at us in a hurry. "No but it'll take you somewhere safe! Somewhere you can start a new life!"
Cody, with Ronald's body in his arms, is the first to get in the portal. By the time he jumps into the portal in the pool, a flash of blue energy can be seen emerging out of it. Then goes for Geralt. He was scared at first as he cowers back. "Will I be hurt if I fall?"
"Don't worry. You'll be fine." And so, he jumps in and flashes of light emerges out.
Then goes for Billy. He looked back at Enid for a moment before he jumps into the portal.
Lastly, Rishika stops near the edges of the pool. She turned around to see Enid with a hurried look on her face but also with relief. "Thank you Eddie." Then she jumps into the portal.
Did I just heard her right? Did she just said my lost friend's name. "What did she just say?"
She looked at me with a sad look in her blue eye. I felt a connection between us, as if we've known each other. I don't understand. Why would Rishika say his name. Enid is a woman to say the least or she's really something else. A sudden memory flashed before my eyes.
I remembered the time Eddie shape shifted into the Ice cream man. It was a time when we were young. We both got the ice cream we wanted just for free without anyone noticing. It was funny but also worrying because we could get caught. But that never happened and still felt funny every time I remember that day.
"Eddie? You're Eddie." She nodded in reply. A gesture of yes. Then, right in front of my eyes, she formed into a grown up version of Eddie. The Eddie I remembered. My heart felt shocked as to what I've just learned. I ran to her and hugged her deeply than I could've ever done. We both hugged for a moment until she gently pushes me off. Tears started to appear beneath my eyes. I don't know what I was feeling but what I can say was joy. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew you would drag me with you If I tell you. You have to understand that I have to stay here. This is where I belong and I'm too dangerous to be with you."
"But we can figure things out together! We can go back to hanging out with each other! Play video games! Explore the world! Everything!"
"No Darwin. We can't. I'm a part of the void and I'm slowly losing myself. My left part of my face is nearly turning into the void."
"But we can fix that! We just need to find the answers to how we can get you better! I can't! I don't want to lose you again! I-"
"Darwin!" A shout came from his voice. I stopped with chills freezing behind my back. He looked at me in the eye with sadness. "I can't go back. I'm sorry I was never there for you when you graduated. I'm sorry for never waiting for you outside of school. I'm sorry for everything we could've done but we haven't! I have to save you. Even if it costs me my life. I don't want to lose you either. You have to go Darwin. There's nothing that can change my mind."
I thought I could finally bring him back. To do the things we've never have yet done. Here and now, this is our last time together. This is our last time to see each other again. He protected me wherever I go here. He saved me in order for me to live. I can't let him die here. I don't want him to be gone from me.
I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. Tears dripped down from his eyes and onto my head. I can feel the pain in my chest starting to rise but I didn't let go. "I'm sorry Darwin. You have to let me go. You can choose. I won't stop you."
He's right. I can't keep him with me. Throughout my life I wanted to see him again. Every night, I look out the window to see if he's there but there's no one but cars and houses. I can't keep doing this. I really have to let go. Tears pours rapidly beneath my eyes. I let go and wiped the tears from my face. "I guess this is a goodbye then."
A sad smile plastered on his face. The world around us slowly turned into darkness. The kind of darkness in hell. "It is Darwin. I'm so happy to see you again."
"Well oh well!! Look at what we have here!" A very modern European accent voice of a man emerged from the world before us. We turned to see a man with a worn off brown coat. His hat looked to be as old as the ancient times. And his face. His face made my stomach turn. Bandages wrapped around his face, except for his terrifying grin. His teeth rotten to the very core of his rotten body. I stepped behind Eddie with the hammer in my hands. The man grins much wider than I anticipated.
"You must be wondering. Who am I? Well. I'm the one and only, Cain. You might've heard me from a very recognizable book. Also, I'm afraid you two are coming with me. We have a lot to discuss and a ton of things to do together." With that, he started laughing like a total maniac. His herds of demons followed with a laugh.
"Goodbye Darwin." Eddie suddenly pushes me off into the bright blue vortex that'll be my exit. I took one last glimpse of Eddie standing before Cain. As I fell into the portal, I can hear the echoing laughter of Cain and his demons. I screamed out for Eddie but my voice was out of reach.
Then, I landed on my back on the ground. The portal disappeared before me. I quickly stood back up and reached to where the portal had opened. It was gone. I looked around to see that I'm on a hill. The dark blue night sky displayed above me with the stars shining above. My mind racing with thoughts and fear. Witnessing Eddie being alone to fight against the evil we are meant to escape from. I screamed into the sky as tears rapidly starts to appear. I fell to my knees onto the grass floor and slam my hands at the ground as I wept. I kept screaming and sobbing until I was too exhausted that I fell to the ground. I heard footsteps before me. There were many.
My body being picked up by Billy in the arm as he carries me with him. "Darwin. What happened?"
The only words I can say now were."He's gone."
​
It's been 2 years since we left that world. The world we now stand upon was nearly the same as ours. What I mean by nearly was that there are strange phenomenons happening nearly every month. A girl who can turn into a form of a robot and killed a cancerous beast in Queensland. A military war criminal who considers killing the supernatural as a job. Even the real life wendigo sightings are on the news papers. Still though, the place is still good in the morning. Except in the night, there are sometimes threats we don't know in the dark.
We built a team together, even gather some new friends along the way. Rishika grew to be more expressive and a lot more kinder to us. The time we killed a literal Bigfoot, she gave me a fist bump. Gave me a chuckle and a smile on my face.
Billy was getting better everyday. He responds to us with kind words than insults like before. After Cody had buried Ronald's body in a proper, he said his words of goodbye to him and gave him the picture he secretly held with him. It was a picture of us hanging out in a movie place. It's heart warming and depressing to witness what he did there.
Cody went off to work as a psychologist. He's still with us. It's just that he wanted to help people's mental health issues. He did really well on that one and he even gave us some advice for a change. I wouldn't consider mostly on his advice but some I can really try. That's also where he met the girl who can turn into a robot. We've met after the news broke out about an incident of a wild destruction at Queensland. Forgot to mention, we're at Australia. Just to let you all know where we are.
Finally, Geralt took pictures everywhere we go and writes down in his diary. The reason he does this is that we're in another world and thought he could take pictures of them and reflect on them. Sometimes we even got to have a photograph of us in the middle of the good times. He said it was to keep memories of our times together. A frame with a picture of literally us huddled together in a bright sunny day in Canberra.
Me? I was building a portal device, for me to teleport to different worlds. It's going to take a long time for me yes. Been building other things lately with Rishika too. Weaponry, gadgets, devices, and fixing stuff. I stuck around with my friends and we've made a great team. Made new friends along the way and learnt many things too.
2 years ago, after my moment of grief, I woke up from my exhausted moment to see my friends standing before me with a relief on their faces. I nearly cried by the picture of that moment. After that, we both watched tv together in my new bedroom inside of a hotel room. After Rishika finds a new home for us, we moved out to Melbourne Victoria as a new place of our home. We moved in to a farm house where there is a larger basement for us to do our stuff. We knew we had to get a job at this point, so we did what we can to find one. It's a good thing there's a city nearby.
Rishika, Geralt, Billy, and I took the job as being a part of an investigation of the paranormal. That's how we managed to meet up with a bunch of new friends.
I missed Eddie. I wished he could come with me and didn't have to die. But, I learnt that I can't drag him with me. He wanted to stay there. I can understand that. I know he's gone already. It's hard to let go. But sometimes we have to. To live out our lives well. I have to look forward. To better myself through experience.
This is my message to you. My readers.
You better to stay where you are now. Don't go to other universes. Because maybe, you'll end up in the most horrifying places you never want to go.

People settle. I obviously can't say that about everyone, some people don't, and I like to believe that most people are doing the best that they can. But I think most people live life half-heartedly. Just going through the motions. Reading through the "script", saying their lines, until the curtain draws. It's no wonder that society is so miserable (ie: depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, mass murder, etc.)
The thing is, at the end of the day, to live this way is a choice. It's true that the information is scarce, nobody is taught to respect life from a young age. School doesn't teach it. Parents don't teach it because they don't know it. Society doesn't teach it. The mental health field doesn't teach it. Religion most certainly doesn't teach it. It's almost entirely absent from all domains: secular and religious, public and private. That means a young human being must go in search of it.
I suppose, in part, that's healthy. If there were no search involved, it wouldn't be authentic. Every single one of us must make peace with life on our own, there's no getting around it, unless you decide not to make peace with it at all (and die by suicide, whether the overt one or the more common slow 'rot til you die' approach). On the other hand, though, it's reflective of the fact that our society is so fearful. This is why I cannot take the whole mental health / therapy / psychology field seriously: none of them talk about the simple fact that we are all facing an existential crisis - a crisis about what it means to be alive. The problem is not mental, it's spiritual, and it's about our views on life and how we relate to the world. The society would rather live in ignorance and pretend these questions don't exist rather than confront them. Because to confront them can be very terrifying. The truth about life is not comfortable.
In short, the information is scarce. But even so, it is still a choice to to live this way at the end of the day. There's the old proverb (I have no idea from where) that says "when the student is ready, the master appears". That's because, at the end of the day the biggest block isn't the scarcity of the information, it's our own resistance to the truth. Once you are ready to open your eyes, surely you'll start finding things that resonate. And that's the thing: the external information only serves as confirmation for what you already knew to be true inside of you. I think we all know these deeper truths on some level, that's why people will go to war and kill and die for their beliefs - it's the ultimate form of "compensating" for something, something which they know to be false.
It's odd to me, because there seems to be a sort of war on truth. The new New Age belief seems to be that there is no objective truth at all, which makes no sense, because in that case they wouldn't even be able to make case for that point. We all know deep down that some things are more true than others. I'm a fan of humility, and I'm fine with admitting that "all I know is I know nothing". But that doesn't mean I'm going to eat my cereal with poison instead of milk tomorrow morning.
It's no wonder, then, that "rationalists" or whatever you want to call them hate the whole New Age think. I don't consider myself New Age. I don't consider myself anything, really, but I understand that there's some overlap with what I talk about and spirituality. I'm OK with that. What "rationalists" miss, however, is the mystery of the whole thing. It cannot be entirely understood (even if I know enough to know I would rather eat my cereal with milk - I still cannot explain to you why I like my favorite cereal).
People settle.
The truth is, as far as I have been able to see, that your life is up to you. Certainly some people have it worse than others, and I'm not disputing that. It's not my business to go to some starving kid in a third world country and say "Hey bud your life is up to you". That's ridiculous. On the other hand, however, any of us who are fortunate enough to be on a website like this most likely have the tools to be able to do something cool with their life. And I always cite the example of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a Nazi labor camp. He said that he was free to choose his attitude despite that horrific situation, and if he can do it in those circumstances, I'm not sure that any of us have an excuse, either. (Not to say he was jumping for joy in a concentration camp, but he did choose to hold out hope, and he survived. I was criticized for talking about this once on Facebook - I soon learned this was not the best platform for my writing.)
If you've read any of my stuff, you know I like to mix more broader-based truths, as I see them, with more personal details. I think it helps illustrate my points, and I also like talking about it. It's part of my whole "enjoyment of life" thing.
I recently wrote a post about how "the material is good", speaking about my music but also my message. Today's post will be similar. Yesterday I got together with my band to talk about our new repertoire going forward. I write the vast majority of music though I do appreciate the contributions they make and also don't consider them replaceable. Anyway, we met at my house and I showed them 10-12 songs that I like for our band going forward: some quite old (10-15 years), some intermediate (3-5 years), and some recent (from 1 week to 1 year ago). They liked 9 of them and the other 3 were a maybe.
Like I said, I've had some of these songs for 10-15 years. Some of them I've had the privilege of playing live, but only a couple of times, but the vast majority no. I remember when I was 22 years old it was my dream to make a living with this music... I really feel like I had a message there. One year later, in AA, I would share in a meeting and flagellate myself by saying that "me and my best bud had a message, what it was, I don't know" - and everybody laughed (this was one thing that drove me away from AA, despite me remaining sober for 9.5 years as of writing: the self-condemnation). But that was wrong. I, we (my best friend and I) did have a message. I just didn't know exactly what it was.
Now I know, as much as I can put it into words, I suppose. Life sucked for me. Yeah, I was materially well-off, just like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. But like them, particularly like Dylan, I found no joy in life. No meaning. I did not feel accepted. Girls did not seem to like me. I can relate deeply to Dylan in that sense. My life sucked - money was not enough for me. But rock and roll, man, that made me feel alive. I could share my emotions, I could play and sing and dance, I could get my aggression out, and hey... girls took notice of me. I had never seen girls pay attention to me like after they did when I got up on stage. It was wild.
I would never say I did it or do it only for girls. I had one guy tell me that one time, and hey, at least he was honest. But that wasn't my case. Still, it was a nice side benefit. I think they were attracted to the same thing I was: that feeling of being alive.
Me and my best bud used to say "rock is life", half-jokingly, but actually in a serious sense, too. I think I coined this term, but I can't be sure, and in fairness we discovered what rock and roll meant together. He was the Eric to my Dylan. Luckily we didn't blow anybody's brains out. Anyway, if I recall correctly, it was because I wanted that feeling of rock, being up on stage, to apply to my entire life. Not just being on stage. All of my life was my stage. Thus, "rock is life". And I very distinctly remember part of it being unapologetic.
Just a quick note, for those who don't know me, that I don't glorify Harris and Klebold. The only reason I'm talking about them at all is because I've recently been doing a dive into the Columbine shooting because I'm fascinated by what could drive two kids to do something that horrific. The most interesting part, to me, is that Dylan and Eric weren't all that different from me and my friends. In fact, I think they actually had some valid grievances about life and about society (though not valid enough to justify what they did). I believe what I am doing is rooted in something similar to what they felt, but my conclusion about the course of action is the exact opposite: not the destruction of life, but rather, the celebration. In all of its facets - including the ugly.
In AA they called it "living life on life's terms". That's what I learned to do. At 22 years old, in the midst of my rock and roll dream, I had to get sober. I hit a guy on a bike in a drunk driving "accident" that was obviously my fault. Thank God he was okay, and I didn't run or anything, I made sure he was OK and I got arrested after confessing. Soon after I got sober, and I've been sober ever since. I'm very grateful to that - but I had to give up on my rock and roll dream.
Or that's what I thought, at least. I had no idea that 10 years later I'd be given the opportunity to play these songs again, for audiences that enjoy and appreciate my music. And why? Why me? Firstly, it's a gift. A gift from "God", if you will, or from life (I don't actually believe in a deity). I'm good at making music. It comes naturally to me. Where I come into is that I never gave up on myself or my music. Well, I sort of did at the beginning of sobriety, but even that was a great example of not giving up on myself. Deep down I think I knew that more important than the songs was the message behind them - I mean, in the way I choose to live my life. So while I was perhaps wrong to think that my music was not important, I never gave up on myself, and eventually that lead me to rediscovering my music a few years later. And here we are now.
I've fought for it. Getting into a band was sort of by chance, but configuring things in such a way that made sense has been a fight. We had a drummer who didn't like to play original music, only covers. We argued, and eventually he made the decision to leave without getting sacked. I told him I understood and we parted with a hug, no hard feelings. We had a bass player, a great guy and still my friend, who is a true musician and gets paid to play in cover bands and stuff. He always viewed our project as secondary. We had to cut him, too. And then there was a keyboardist who didn't fit our groove. We cut him, too.
In a way, it was all my brainchild. The rhythm guitarist is perhaps my best friend here overseas (by the way, 1 year into sobriety I moved overseas to help find myself). I told him to pick up a bass. The new drummer was on the same page as he and I in terms of the music we wanted to make. I proposed we do a power trio. And that's what we did. And people here are loving it.
If you look at the accomplishments themselves, they're not actually that impressive. Just a few local shows and one small show outside of town. But there's something about the reception we're getting. It's not only positive, like, "hey, I liked your band". People genuinely seem to be enjoying our music and giving praise that goes beyond what is expected in order to be nice / friendly. It's an amazing feeling, and confirmation of what I think I knew to be true 10 years ago: my music is good, and life is worth it. I think the fact that I've continued fighting for 10 years just makes the message even stronger - I never gave up, even through the bad times.
All of this is to say that I never imagined I would be here today. Maybe this sounds like an Oscar award speech or something, which is ridiculous given the "minimal" achievements my band and I have had. But to me they're not minimal. Again, it's not necessarily about the material success, but rather the spiritual success of knowing that I took a stand somewhere and contributed something valuable to the world. And had a lot of fun along the way, too. That's worth more than gold (and who doesn't love gold?)
I couldn't write a whole post about my life without mentioning the girl I like right now. Man, I'm very attracted to her, and I "love" her, whatever that means. Maybe it's ridiculous since I hardly know her, but I think about her a lot, and I'd like to get to know her more. If you're reading this, no, it's not the girl I met on Reddit, though I am fond of that girl, too, and wouldn't mind hearing from her again. But yeah, the girl in real life is great.
It's weird. As much as I'd like to get her in bed or whatever (it'd be fun), it's almost like I just want to be discovered or something. I feel there's a lot going on with me, and I'm eager to share it with the world. I think it's valuable. Of course, she is dealing with her own issues, so it's best to go slow. I'm OK with being patient, she's worth it. (I wouldn't mind getting to know her, either.)
I think what I never understood with love was that it's just a plus, not the main event. People say this all the time, but it's difficult to digest when you're lonely. It's true though. You have to make your own life the main event. IMO that doesn't mean "create a great social life, go to clubs, go to the gym" and all these other material milestones that people create. Nah. For me, it's a more spiritual question. What do you want your life to be about? Figure that out then embark on the journey. Love is a wonderful stop on that journey. No movie or story would be complete without it, right? Well, life wouldn't be, either.
Anyway, all of this is to say that life is worth it. It's a lot of bullshit sometimes. The day-to-day can be grueling, even if you're lucky like me and have a job that you somewhat enjoy. And then you've got to clean the house, pay taxes, deal with people's dysfunction (including your own)... it's hard! But it's like I said earlier, life is what you make of it. That's my whole message. It's really extremely simple. Simple, but not easy, I guess. But I guess I just decided that I was going to give it a try (more than once, actually), and I'm really, really glad I did.

Both parents are narcs, little sister in her mid-twenties seems to be following suit.
I'm 31 male, I have ADHD and by now I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere on the autism spectrum.
I'm from what you could call upper middle class, in an extremely classist country. Went to good schools and unis, become friends with people I'm sure will be leaders in their chosen fields in the future.
I turned out to be an abject failure, couldn't keep a job for more than 6 months over the last 10 years, tried multiple industries and roles. The past 3 years since covid (unrelated tho) has been especially terrible. I'm more at home than working, low salary (understandable given my ridiculous resume).
I can't afford therapy or medication, asking for family help isn't an option.
I was thinking, there is a small costal town in my country, over the past 10 years it has been growing up to be a sunny destination but also somewhere you could somewhat dissappear.
I want to do that, I can't function in this society, I don't mind doing some manual labor and escape the hell hole I'm in with my parents.
But I'm scared I'm going to make a big mistake, I've seen people losing years upon years over there. When they come back they're usually very disconnected and can't easily adapt to city life especially with lack of viable work experience.
But I feel like I need this, I need to be on my own for a while, there are so many details but I think those highlights sum it up.
What do you guys think?

On my end:
Best: Frankiln-Pierce SD (Tacoma, WA)- I was a contractor for these guys several years ago. Great team of SLPs. Very small and supportive. Monthly meetings to discuss planning for next year and caseload size adjustments. I received check in calls daily and then weekly. Area is is low income and Hispanic families outside the city of Tacoma, many first generation immigrants. I had my own room and the district provided me with an iPad and paid for the apps. Small caseload, no last minute changes to assignment. State funding for public education is pretty solid, no weird political attacks on teachers or LGBTQ staff/students. COL a bit high but if you live further outside the city it's more reasonable.
Worst: Albuquerque Public Schools (Albuquerque, NM)- I gave them several shots. I contracted with a few different agencies for them over the years and it was the same every time. Gigantic and unregulated caseloads. Lots of being moved around from school to school with no warning all year long and being placed in undesirable programs that were not a good fit. I never had a classroom in any of the schools there. Many schools without a SPED director and with vacancies mid year. No colleagues or check ins. Last minute changes in assignments happen all year, every year so you would have to change your schedule all the time. State funding is very poor with low literacy as a prevalent issue and overall public education performance the worst in the country.

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My family moved around a lot. I ended up going to school in a gang infested area when I was 11 which was traumatic. I was really small so I became a target for an entire year and some years following that. I also faced other bullying though hush school and never fought back bc my family was totally alone in this country and I feared any retaliation against my sisters. I had no friends in school. I always felt like my father did not know or never provided adequate security for me to feel safe… but I value him and I don’t know what he could’ve done differently.
I also struggled academically because of the stress of violence, family finances, low calculation speed and lack of interest. I struggled with any sports since I was always one of the most frail and shortest kids in the class. This made me feel completely alone through high school. This is going to sound terrible but as a child, I use to daydream about a missile strike destroying our school.
My life completely flipped when I turned 18 and started leaving our house and exploring the city with my cousins - my cousins had a bad reputation so my parents were not happy about this. my parents and I argued but eventually they stopped calling. I started eating more and my body started to look normal for adult man. I felt like now I had a network of people I could trust and felt protected. This led to financial success, friends and eventually marriage and my own family. I have a wonderful life today and so do my siblings and parents, we are all super close and even the in-laws all get along well.
The problem is that my son, 6, exhibits much of the qualities I had when I was a kid. He is quite small, he seems to eat (with encouragement) half or sometimes all of his meals but doesn’t gain weight. He is active enough to play but he just can’t keep up with other kids at the playground and feels frustrated by all the commotion. I also noticed he brings home rocks from school and says he likes to collect them during recess. I ask him why doesn’t he just play with the other kids but he says he doesn’t like them, they don’t listen to him or want to play his games.. We can’t tell if he has any close friends, in contrast my daughter, is always talking about what other kids and her did at school.
The second problem is I sometimes don’t see a spirit in my son, he seems to zone out sometimes. He is also sort of lazy and doesn’t show any signs of curiosity . He will sit down and do homework on his own but never asks me how the world works like my daughter does. I feel like curiosity is the only skill I had to rely on and it took me far in life. If he gets an iPad he will zone out and play for hours if we don’t ask him to stop.
He attends a nice private school in America and his teachers say his academics and behavior is exemplary for his age group. He seems to also enjoy classrooms and plays imagination classroom at home with us but always wants to be the teacher. He does well socially in small group settings like golf or tennis lessons.
TL/DR: how do I deal with anxiety about my son’s social (playground engagement) and other difficulties (fitness, laziness and lack of curiosity)?

I've played a couple of city building challenges and not managed to complete them, either through lack of interest or the difficulty being too high, so I thought I'd have a crack at playing/writing my own variation.
The general rules were that I could only buy the basics from the catalog, anything else had to come from a Sim-owned business, that professions and rewards would only become available when it made sense for my little town's economy, and that I wanted to build up to experiencing everything The Sims 2 and its expansion packs has to offer. I'd play each household for a Sim week to keep all the playable Sims' ages consistent, and I'd make it a little more difficult by playing only the starting neighbourhood families and whoever they marry/move in, no CAS Sims.
Initially there wouldn't be a food store or grocery deliveries so all the Sims have to farm, then whoever can afford a lot first could sell farmed goods. At Business Level 5, wholesale freezers are unlocked and at 10 the Grocery Delivery interaction is unlocked. Other businesses have similar rules.
Here's the story so far (I really should've been making notes from the start):
The Gavigans moved into 1 Beach Crescent, Driftwood, where Nathan took a job as an Adventurer and Mary stayed home to raise Isaiah, write a newspaper column about cleaning, and grow produce. They had a daughter, Amelia. Isaiah is now an adult with the Romance aspiration and wants to WooHoo with 20 different Sims. He owns a small fresh flower shop in the business district. Amelia is a teen with the Fortune aspiration who wants to become a World-Class Ballet Dancer
The Picaso family moved into 2 Beach Crescent, Driftwood, where Jessica briefly worked in Education before being fired for poor performance. Matthew tended the family vegetable plot and wrote a Mechanical column for the local newspaper. They had three children: Alina, James, and Linda. James and Linda are twins. Alina has just grown into an adult with the Family aspiration and wants to Raise 20 Puppies or Kittens. She recently bought a business in the business district where she sells her paintings. James is a Knowledge Sim and wants to become a Criminal Mastermind. Linda is a Romance Sim and wants to become a Celebrity Chef.
The Traveller family moved into 3 Beach Crescent, Driftwood where they farmed. Tina writes editorial pieces for the local newspaper, and Trent has a cooking column. Trent and Trisha had Sabrina together, and then Trent was abducted by aliens and had Rebecca and Zack with Pollintation Technician. Tina is an adult with the Knowledge aspiration and wants to become a Criminal Mastermind, she owns a toy shop in the business district where she started off selling handmade toys but now also sells items from the catalog. Sabrina is a teen with the Pleasure aspiration who wants to become a Celebrity Chef. Rebecca and Zack are children.
The Ramaswami family moved into 4 Beach Crescent, Driftwood, where they farmed and wrote for the local newspaper. Sanjay wrote short stories for the paper, while Priya wrote about styles and fashions. They had two daughters, Cadence and Annabeth, who have taken over their parents' columns in the newspaper. Sanjay got a job in the Science career and is currently a Theorist. His next promotion will make him a Mad Scientist, opening up the Medical career path. Cadence is a Pleasure teen with the desire to become a Game Designer. Since the Gamer career won't be unlocked until someone makes a level 5 Arcade, she's already investing in arcade games for when she leaves school so that she can start her own business. Annabeth is a Fortune teen with the aspiration to become a Prestidigitator.
The Ottomas family moved into 5 Beach Crescent, Driftwood. Grandma Dora supported Peter and Samantha by looking after the children while they worked as teachers. Samantha eventually became the Education Minister, opening up the possibility of going to University for future generations of Sims. Dora is now buried at the Beach Crescent Graveyard after dying of old age.
David finished school and got a job in Oceanography, eventually leaving home and marrying Michelle Tse. They now live at 1, Sand Road and have twin babies Rhett and Link. David reached the top of the Oceanography career, unlocking it for future Sims. He's a Popularity Sim and wants to become a Rock God, something he's unlikely to achieve because there's still no music school. Michelle is a Fortune Sim who wants to become a Business Tycoon. Unfortunately, this career track won't be available until there's a successful business of each of the types required for the challenge: a grocery store, a restaurant, an art gallery, a music school, a dance school, a gym, a disco or nightclub, and an arcade. Michelle currently works as an employee at Isaiah Gavigan's flower shop.
Sharla married Gavin Newson.
Tommy still lives at home with his parents. He's a Pleasure Sim and aspires to become a Celebrity Chef. He started by founding Zippy Eats, a fast food restaurant in the business district. When that reached Level 5, he was able to find a job in the Culinary career track. He's currently a Sous Chef.
Keri and Ray moved to University
The Goodie family moved into 6 Beach Crescent, Driftwood, and adopted the Newson family. After the death of the Goodies from old age and the other siblings moving out, Georgia Newson inherited the large house. She's a Romance Sim with the aspiration to become a Hall of Famer. She owns a gym in the business district and is waiting for it to reach Level 5 before she can enter the Athletic career now that the town's population is high enough to have its own sports team. Herbert and Faith are buried at Beach Crescent Graveyard.
Gavin Newson moved to 1 Beach Lane, where he started growing produce to sell in the Farmer's Market in the business district. He married Sharla Ottomas. Gavin has the Fortune aspiration and wants to become a Business Tycoon. Sharla has the Pleasure aspiration and wants to have 50 Dream Dates, an aspiration she'll have to reconsider now that she's married.
Ginger Newson initially moved with Gavin to 1 Beach Lane, and made toys for him to sell alongside the produce at his grocery store. Eventually, she moved out and started a business selling electronics. She married Weylon Menon and they've had their first child, Norman. Ginger has the Family aspiration and wants to reach her Golden Anniversary. Waylon has a Fortune aspiration and wants to become a Business Tycoon.
Gallagher moved to 5 Beach Lane, opened a fast food restaurant in the business district, and married Ivy Copur. Gallagher's business reached Level 5, allowing him to enter the Culinary career track, he is currently a Restauranteur and wants to be a Celebrity Chef to complete his Romance aspiration. Ivy is a Knowledge Sim who wants to become a Space Pirate, she's nearly there, currently a Dread Pirate. They are preparing for their first baby together.
Garrett moved to 4 Beach Lane and married Sophie. Once the town's population was high enough, Garrett went into the Politics career despite his lifelong dream to become a ballet dancer, hopefully he can still satisfy his Fortune aspirations. Sophie, also a Fortune Sim, has an aspiration to become a Criminal Mastermind. She's currently working as a Con Artist.
Gabriella moved to 6 Beach Lane and founded a dance school in the business district. The dance school is currently Level 5, meaning that one Sim can enter the Dance career. She's a Fortune Sim who wants to become The Law. She's currently working as a Law Firm Receptionist. She's engaged to Orlando Centowski, who has moved in. Orlando is a Family Sim who wants to Marry Off 6 Children.
When the University opened up, the city gained some new playable families:
The Sharpe family: Roxy and Edwin and Roxy's boyfriend Jonah Powers. Since Roxy and Jonah both wanted to pursue more romantic relationships elsewhere, they moved into separate dorms. After getting a bit of life experience, Jonah Powers changed his Romance aspiration from having 20 simultaneous lovers to the Fortune aspiration of becoming a Space Pirate. He now lives at 2, Sand Road with a mortgage to pay off.
Edwin graduated and moved into 3, Sand Road, with a mortgage to pay off. He is a Knowledge Sim who wants to become Head of SCIA. During his studies, he allowed his romantic relationship with Delilah O'Feefe to wane.
Roxy graduated and moved into 4, Sand Road, with a mortgage to pay off. She is a Romance Sim with the lifetime aspiration to WooHoo with 20 different Sims. During her time at University she managed to WooHoo with Kennedy Cox, Victor Copur, Peter Sims, Ocean Huerta, Cristopher Roennigke, Jason Centowski, Jeremy Bui, Luc Grove and Jonah Powers, so she's nearly halfway there!
When Edwin Sharpe decided to focus on his studies, Delilah O'Feefe began a relationship with Mitch Indie. She graduated from University and moved into 5, Sand Road with a mortgage to pay off. She has a Knowledge aspiration to become a Media Magnate, a career path that's open to her since there are correspondents writing for the paper in each of the 7 topics and they all have the maximum skill in their chosen subject. She's waiting for Mitch to graduate.
The Friends household Mitch Indie and Max Flexor.
The Students household Emily Lee and Tom Freshe.
Marla Biggs
The First Year household.

Previous Next First
​
---Defector---
​
---Lhamo’s perspective---
---2680 Terran Calenda33 years BF---
I streak through the skies of Gangsri Gsar at a multiple of the speed of sound, looking down on the snow capped mountains that give the planet it’s name.
The setting sun is to my right and the creeping darkness of night to my left.
It’s so utterly freeing to have the yoke of my craft in my hands and an endless sky to fly through!
I can’t imagine having to go everywhere by safe, AI driven capsules!
This tiny craft and the lessons to pilot it are the best investment I ever made!
Of course, had I not had more valuable skills, that training almost certainly would have had me conscripted to the Fighter Force.
Apologies to whatever poor sod took my place!
The nav is trying to send me on a detour around the Sisters, A Lcag and ’Og Ma, 15km and 12km tall, respectively.
I look at the gap between them and at the 90 second detour my screen is instructing.
“Cute…” I smirk, as I plough straight forward at full speed.
The sheer rock face of A Lcag passes less than 200m on my right and ’Og Ma the same on my left.
10% of a yak racing track might sound like a lot but it really isn’t when you’re traveling this fast!
Passing out the other side of the Sisters, the ocean comes into view and, with it, so does one of the very few sea level cities on this planet.
Most places where the mountains meet the sea, they plunge straight into it with nowhere to build.
Here, the alluvial plain, deposited by the same river as runs through the heart of Lhasa Gsar, allows for the existence of the city of Chuchen Zhingkha.
I reduce my speed significantly.
I hail my destination “This is private craft Dzha10759Ka82, requesting permission to land, transmitting clearance code now.”
“Stand by… You are clear to land, private craft Dzha10759Ka82.”
I begin my descent, hovering down as I line myself up with the landingpad that my HUD is highlighting for me.
I set down and immediately see the irritated bodylanguage and expressions of the nearest pair of MPs.
I ready my holo as I swing open the door of my tiny personal craft.
“Miss…!” says the closer one, angrily, as he approaches, his open faced helmet showing me his scowling face “…I don’t care who you are, you’ve got to clear that pad, right now! We’re expecting…!”
“Dr Lhamo ‘Crane’ Yeshe, special consultant to the UTC Intelligence Service Office of Lhasa Gsar…” I say, casually turning my screen around to show him my ID app.
He’s stunned into silence for a moment before he checks my screen.
“…Am I not who you were expecting?” I smile with an (I feel) not unjustified quantity of smugness.
“I… was expecting someone… older… looking…” he says, adding that last word after apparently checking my age and finding that I am, in fact, 35 and just so babyfaced I regularly still need to prove my age when purchasing alcohol!
“Yes, well, regardless of what you were expecting, would you care to show me inside?… It’s chilly out here, in spite of the low elevation!”
The pair turn, without apologising, and begin walking toward the nearest building.
I follow.
As we approach, a man who looks very out of place on a military barracks emerges from the door and, spotting me, makes a beeline.
“Dr Yeshe, I presume?… Formerly professor of theoretical xenopsychology at Lhasa Gsar University?” asks the weedy European man in accented English.
“I am. Though, I think we can dispense with the word ‘theoretical’, these days(!)” I smile, extending my hand and speaking in English.
He takes my hand and shakes it as he says “Dr Otto ‘Alpenstock’ Kleinfeld, a pleasure to meet you! Thank you so much for making the journey!”
“Thank you for the flattering assessment of me as the best person on world for the task…” I smile “…Please… lead on, Dr Kleinfeld.”
The little man leads me inside. The MPs (thankfully) do not follow.
“So… you have read the brief?” he asks.
“Enemy pilot, seems to have stolen a fighter craft and flown it hear to surrender to us. Has a device, inferred to be a personal holo, that can translate his language into English but can’t manage Tibetan. Says he has information on the current position of a GU fleet that he’s willing to trade to us on the condition that we neutralise it with minimal casualties. When asked his reasoning, he answered that the Admiral was knowingly on his way to engage with a dreadnought blockade… which he regards to be a suicide mission. He believes he can give us the information necessary to take the fleet by surprise and surrender it with minimal loss of life. You want me to assess whether he thinks he’s telling the truth, whether he might have been fooled into thinking he’s telling the truth and what it might be worth promising him for the information he claims to have. That about the size of it?”
“Yes… very good.” chuckles the man, nervously, as he pulls out his holo “I just have a checklist to run down with you before you can undergo decontamination… Have you had symptoms of illness any time in the last six weeks?”
I smile “I think I can save some time there, Doc… tell me the author of that checklist, would you? Should be down at the bottom… fine print…”
The man frowns but scrolls down and squints.
The penny drops as he says “Dr L ‘C’ Yeshe… et al…” and looks up at me, a little defeatedly.
“Shall we assume I wouldn’t have bothered making the journey if I were to answer negatively any of the things I should answer positively, or vice versa… on the list that I was the lead author of?” I ask, trying and failing not to sound patronising.
He slumps before answering “I suppose I’ll just fill this out for you myself then… We’re here…”
He directs me through a door, into a darkened room.
To my left is the backside of a one way mirror.
Tentatively, I walk toward it, bringing into view the xeno defector.
The first thing that strikes me… is just how enormous he is!
I’m 175cm but that guy’s as tall as me, sitting down!
Some quick mental maths tells me that he’s got to be more than 2.5 metres, standing!
The next thing I realise is the fact that he has no nose… where it should be is instead just a smooth, flat patch of pale, purple-blue skin.
The longer I look at him the more uncanninesses I find in his appearance; one too many fingers on each hand and thumbs on the wrong side, eyes too large and a vivid orange colour with no pupils that I can see, ears the wrong shape, limb proportions slightly off, body too slim…
And… yet… despite all that…
Kinda hooot…(!)
Certainly no pinnacle of masculinity (in any way besides his imposing stature) but handsome none the less!
The kind of handsome you could see being cast as the love interest in a 24th Century scifi romance film(!)
He’d be the prince of a space kingdom, son of an eeeeevil space king, who unwillingly goes along with his father’s dastardly plans until meeting the beautiful Human heroine, in the second act, who causes him to have a change of heart, in the third(!)
Maybe I should take up screenwriting, after the War(!)
Of course, I know better than almost anyone not to share even a fraction of my little daydream with the room at large, having helped write the book on xeno interrogation procedure!
“Alright then… shall we start…?”
---Ngngomg’s perspective---
One of the Terrans enters what I infer to be the decontamination chamber, adjoining this room.
She raises her arms above her head and is sprayed with a liquid substance, following which the chamber is illuminated by harsh, bright light.
She stands in the sterilising rays for what seems like a dangerous amount of time before the internal door finally opens.
“Heh lother. Itsnaiss tu miitchu, Wii Ngkoman Der Ngngomg, mai neimz Lhamo.” she says.
If I didn’t already know what she was, I could walk past the woman in the hallway of a space station and think nothing of her except, maybe, to notice that she’s rather pretty… in spite of that strange, prominent sense organ in the middle of her face(!)
The language she speaks is what I recognise as her kind’s lingua franca and not the other one that I’ve heard, since landing, with a completely different cadence and tonality.
Apparently, the Terran's have thousands of languages… though, I don’t believe that personally.
Probably, they have thousands of dialects of a few dozen unique languages! That seems more realistic to me.
My assessment of what she spoke to me is proven correct when my holo is able to translate it into ngGollogng for me.
“Greetings. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, [untranslatable rank: ‘Wing Commander’. Meaning: one who orders and is obeyed while flying] Ngngomg, my name is Lhamo.”
Irritatedly, I correct her “Ngngomg is my personal name, you will address me by my tribe name, Ong!”
She looks at my holo as it turns my words into her language.
When she seems to have understood, she closes her eyes and dips her head.
“Apologies, [Wing Commander] Ong… that is my mistake.”
I narrow my eyes at the woman as she sits on the far side of the wide table, the weighty *thud* of her body meeting the surface hinting at the powerful density of her body.
She’s… much more polite than I expected a deathworlder to be!
I truly expected to have to endure days of torture before they’d finally listen to me but… unless they consider being locked in an interrogation room for hours on end to be a form of torture (which isn’t out of the question, given how much they purportedly revile boredom), I’ve endured none!
The woman places her hands, palm down, on the table in front of her.
Her thumbs point inward, toward eachother!
She curls her mouth without baring her teeth and says “I would shake your hand, [Wing Commander], but it’s probably best if you and I don’t touch… Don’t worry about airborne microbes… this whole room acts like a fume hood… It’s extremely unlikely that anything I breathe out over here is going to make it over to where you are.”
I don’t answer.
“So… I understand you have some information you want to give us, [Wing Commander]?”
“I don’t…” I scowl.
Seeming confused she looks to my face and says “You do not?”
Angrily, I stand, towering in comparison to the little deathworlder, and slam my palms down on the table “I don’t want to! I don’t want to be a defector!”
She raises her hands, defensively, but… not toward me…
Her eyebrows are both raised, her eyes wide, her jaw set and her skin pale as she faces the mirror.
It takes me a few moments to realise that she must be worried that they’ll storm in here and subdue me, given my outburst.
I feel my attitude toward her soften… she wasn’t even slightly worried for herself!
True… she probably doesn’t actually need to worry for herself but… still!
Satisfied that she has conveyed her wordless message to the spectators, she returns her attention to me and says “Why not tell me, in your own words, what lead you to were you are right now?”
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Dramatis Personae

So i worked my ass off in school and got a dream job and made great money. I was really bad at saving till about mid 30's where i started thinking about retierment and investments.
I have been married twice and twice divorced. First wife was a young and fleeting marriage and they only good thing that came from it was my son who i love and appreciate every day.
Second marriage was probably the worst heart break i ever suffered. We fell out of love and were not getting what we wanted out of the relationship. We started fighting more untill a point where it felt like we were both numb to it. I was unsure of our relationship and started to cheat. My job afforded me the luxury of being in different cities where the only accountability i had was my own concious. I really loved my ex.
She was my best friend but i stopped being attracted to her. She was a workaholic and wanted us to be a power couple working on buissnesses together on our off time.
I personally was someone who was happy with the money i made. I was making enough that she didnt have to work. I was all about having fun and living life on our off time but she just wanted to work.
We started a buissness that failed in the first 6 months and i took that as my time to tell her i wasn't interested in that. She caught wind of me cheating off of facebook messanger one time and she decided to ignore it.
Looking back that was the sign she stopped carring. During this time i met my current partner. I was overcone with guilt but at the same time i was falling for her. Our relationship started out so rocky because i was in no mind to be committing to anyone while i was dealing with my marriage falling apart.
My ex moved out after we agreed to a trial separation. I litteraly moved her stuff to another room so i could start getting more serious with my current partner.
Long story short i was riddled with guilt and started smoking pot heavily to mask what ever emotions i was going through when i was left alone between me and myself.
From pot i started partying heavily with other substances and got into this cycle of escapism and only felt happy when i was inebriated.
I started taking short trips to places where i could party freely . I called my ex a few times while drunk crying and asking for forgiveness. I felt i betrayed us. Then we got divorced.
I kept up the escapism routine even while trying to build a solid relationship with my current partner. One time while on a work trip i brought back some shrooms and a grinder with me and my bag got flagged for search on arrival.
I live in a country where any drugs are out of the question so i got arrested tested and given a one year rehab sentence. I got terminated from work and my whole family found out.
I went from being star of the family to complete fuck up. I ruined my life out of the absolute guilt i felt for cheating on my ex.
Here is the kicker. I just finished that one year sentence and i had forgot about a 4 year old incident where i slept in my car after i felt too drunk to drive and was taken to get a blood and urine test by the cops even though i wasnt even driving and they found weed in my blood.
Tomorrow i have a court date for public intoxication and though the lawyer has said it will not be merited im still anxious af. Now my father knows that his son is a screw upand i have to find a new job far away from here and start fresh.
Im 16 months clean and have been looking forward to starting a new chapter yet i have another hurdle to go through and im just so exhausted.
One wrong turn has made my life an utter mess. Now im praying and working towards a better future.

I'm pretty sure Disneyland has to have some sort of plan in case terrorists attack or Red Dawn happens. I'm wondering if they have a dedicated SWAT team that never gets used or they just call the Anaheim PD SWAT.
What do you guys think Disneyland's plan is if bad guys try to take the whole park hostage?
If you're from LA or maybe have been here long enough, you've probably met someone who works at Disneyland who has told you about how they have a whole underground city where Mickey Mouse smokes cigarettes.
There's also tunnels and secret passageways Walt Disney supposedly used to spy on people. It would be pretty sweet if Disneyland had an elite squad of five Rambos ready to bust out of the secret Walt Disney tunnels.
Or do you guys think they just got a bunch of dudes in suits with handguns like in Beverly Hills Cop 3?
(I know Disneyland is an OC attraction, but we all have grad night there unless you went to a ghetto school that does grad night at Knott's Berry Farm.)

Looking for some advise on whether there is a path for me to qualify for the FE without additional schooling. Hoping to move into a geotechnical engineering role with my current company but they require you to be an EIT for the position. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
To provide background for my undergraduate I double majored in physics and geology. Then proceeded to get a masters in geophysics, then straight into PhD school were I was co-advised in both the geology and civil engineering departments with a focus on engineering geology specifically landslide repair and susceptibility analysis. I have multiple publications in both engineering and geology journals and was a TA primarily in the civil engineering department. However the issue is when I graduated my degree was awarded through the school of arts and sciences and not engineering.
Since then I have been working in geotechnical consulting for 2 years but have been unable to worked on many projects which are closer to what my PhD focused on because I am designated as a geologist and not an engineer. Bought and taken a few FE practice exams and feel confident I would have a chance at passing if I could qualify. Any advice on a pathway to qualification would be greatly appreciated!

Intro and what I'm looking for

Idek where to start tbh. I wanna make a post that isn't too boring, long / short, or irritating to read as I have a habit of talking about my emotions + feelings and unnecessary venting about my life in several setences when it comes to this sort of thing, that's mostly what I talked about in my last post... I'm hoping I can get at least someone's attention by writing the right and necessary words on this subreddit... So, where to begin?
I guess I'll start with what I'm looking for in terms of dating. A fresh, warm, healthy and positive long-term relationship is what I've been craving for the last 4¼ years, not as in desperate or obsessed with it, more as in yearning for that right person to come along and bring sunshine to my life for the first time in a very long time. I'm sorry if that sounds a little cheesy but it's true. Someone who'll accept me for who I am and not care about what I have / don't have, someone who'll understand and accept my insecurities and flaws, not to mention me doing the same for her too. I wanna have that happy and bright future with that special someone, similar to all the couples I see on Instagram, laughing, joking, teasing each other, flirting, doing fun activities together both indoors and outdoors, purchasing matching items for them to wear and hold dear, holding hands... the list goes on.
Come and stop by so we can get to know each other first and see what happens if you're fascinated in this post enough, and if you think I'll be that sort of person you want in your life.

Personality (100% the truth)

As you might have guessed, I am a hard core introvert. Although I get along well with people irl; I briefly chat to them by saying the usual "hello" or "alright?", I then usually keep to myself from them most times to avoid feeling ignored / unimportant / irrelevant in their eyes. This is because I'm not that great at socialising in public places like the club or in the street, and also due to the fact that I feel extremely shy whilst meeting new people. All I feel, every single day, is irrelevant to everybody I come across on a day to day basis and tbh, I've gotten used to it over the years. However, if others ARE willing to get to know me and want me in their presence, I will perk up and be quite the confident individual once enough time passes :)
Other things you should know about me is that I'm extremely loyal and will never hurt the people I love and hold dear, no matter what. I care too much about the people in my life, including family, and I also will never let them down or disappoint them in any way.
Just a little fun fact about me, my zodiac sign is Cancer ♋️🦀 for those of you who are interested and if that matters to you at all. This is related to what I've just written above in the second paragraph.
[This is me pretty much nearing the end of this seemingly never ending post now]
Now that all the soppy stuff is out of the way, I will now talk about what I like doing on a day to day basis :D:

I'm an indoor type of person. I like:

•Watching TV shows like Doctor Who when new episodes come out, The Simpsons and Hollyoaks 5 days a week, and binging on a ton of movies.
•Listening to music pretty much every single day as I'm a huge HUGE fan of it.
•Gaming on PC games such as GTA, Red Dead, and Minecraft.
•I may stay indoors most of the time, but I DO also enjoy doing outdoor activities like spending my days out in places in the UK like Scarborough, Blackpool, Hornsea and Withernsea.
•I'm also interested in Photography, taking stunning photos both indoors and outdoors to store and save for later. Wildlife, sea life and everything else in between is what I'm most interested in :)
•Playing different sports such as Badminton, Bowling, Cricket, Dodgeball, Tennis and Volleyball on the beach are activities I really enjoy doing, but I haven't played them recently thanks to a lack of others playing them with me.
•Gardening and working with plants is something that really fascinates me, planting and watching plants of all shapes and sizes grow is everything I've wanted to do since my late high school days. Also getting a bit of sunshine on my neck in the summer does me some good lol.
•I occasionally like doing artistic activities like card making, paper crafting, drawing and painting, but only on special occasions.
•I also like to read from time to time.

Physical Appearance

My appearance is quite normal:
•I'm 5'8 in height
•I've got quite the decent body shape
•I have no tattoos but I'm considering getting a few in the future
•I've got a small amount of facial hair (but I've shaved recently so I'm not quite as hairy on the face as I used to be)
•I've got quite a lot of hair on the top of my head but keep it in control most times with hairspray
•I've got an average to slightly above average face imo (pics can be exchanged if you're interested in knowing what I look like)
•I'm healthy with no health conditions or concerns
•I wear normal clothes such as buttoned t-shirts, hoodies / denim jackets, jeans / tracksuit bottoms, and leather jackets in colder weather.

You

I'm not too bothered what kind of women I talk to / get with tbh. Just as long as you:
•Live in the UK, or at least in different countries that are close to the UK like Norway, Ireland, Sweden, Belgium, Denmark, France, or perhaps even The Netherlands, since all have shorter time-zone differences to the ones in the UK, (but you can message me wherever you are on the globe)
•Don't smoke or do drugs
•My age limit is between 18-23, but people that are past that age range can also message me.
•I'm not religious, by any means, but I don't mind dating people who are.
•Come as you are, no sugar coating, be real, be genuine. 🚫No NSFW content please🚫, that's all I ask.

Outro

Welp, this is me finally signing off and seeing what happens. If you've read this far, then I appreciate you for taking the time out of your schedule to read my post all the way through :) I hope you have a nice rest of your day 🙏🏻👋🏻 Come say Hi if you're feeling up to it! 🙂