tl;dr : my wife has progressively (no pun intended) turned into a “woke” person and is obsessive over identity politics and progressive social politics and it makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve searched and searched for advice on this issue. Most people on Reddit who post things similar to me are accused of “trolling”. I assure you I wish this was a troll post. I miss my wife and I’m just looking for advice on how to salvage this.
My wife and I met in our early 20s. We got married at 25 and we are now in our late 20s.
When we met I fell in love with her instantly. The first years we were together I would have described my wife as a cat lover, a caring person, funny, light hearted, adventurous, and healthy.
If you asked me to describe her today? I’d say she’s a cat lover, feminist, trans activist, body positivity activist, and liberal.
My wife was never big into politics when we met. Sure she had her opinions but it was never more than a brief discussion on current events. Now it’s her entire personality.
I’ll take these issues one by one and explain why they make me uncomfortable.
My wife has become entrenched in feminism. She is constantly complaining about men, she says she hates men. She’s incessantly pro choice. We live near a pro life billboard and when she sees it she gets visibly upset. There’s also a nearby church group that protests abortion often that we see on occasion. If we see that group protesting she will become irate. She will roll the window down and scream at them and flip them off. I find this incredibly embarrassing and immature. I’ve tried to have conversations about this with her trying to explain why someone might be pro life (my family is I am not) and she doesn’t hear me. She insists that anyone who is pro life hates women including my mother. This all makes me very uncomfortable and it’s hard that she won’t listen to me even if she doesn’t agree with me.
Now on to the trans activism. This all started when some male music artist wore a dress on stage or something. Since then she’s made many remarks about how “men in dresses are so hot” and how “if you died I’d definitely marry a trans person”. Her social media is 90% trans people. This all makes me uncomfortable. I honestly do not understand this movement well and am just trying to learn through conversations. I’ve tried to have productive conversations with her about this but when I bring up anything to counter her views she becomes angry and starts crying. She will run circles around her self to make her logic work. She will never acknowledge that I have a fair point or that maybe I’m right. She just gets upset and refuses to continue talking with me.
The body positivity started when we both were staring to put on that post honeymoon weight. I was all in on this one. She would say things like no one should be made fun of for their weight which I agree with. But it’s morphed into this horrific denial of health. We both have added a few pounds over the years but she refuses to acknowledge the effects it has. She’s had doctors tell her her conditions are weight related and she gets upset and refuses their advices. I’ve tried to push us to be more active and eat healthier but she refuses. The thing that bothers me less but still bugs me is that she has this hatred of healthy people. She’ll be scrolling through social media and come across a “progress post” and she becomes angry at them. If someone on tv is in good shape she hates them.
And lastly, the constant talk of liberalism bothers me. I’d consider my self liberal, but as I said earlier I come from a conservative background so I definitely have an understanding of that thought process. My wife hates conservative people. Something on Facebook that’s conservative? She’s going to find a way to paint it as just the worst thing in the world even if it’s a stretch and she’s going to vent about it to me.
All this is all she wants to talk about. I find myself annoyed when she tries to speak with me. I know it’s going to be some nonsense that I don’t want to hear but there’s no point in challenging her as it only makes her upset. So when I come home from work and my wife starts talking to me I almost immediately check out as all it’s going to do is upset me.
At this point I feel further away from my wife than ever. Even when things look up for a day or two it goes right back down when she starts talking about stuff like that non stop.
I’ve been looking into couples counseling. I’m not really sure it’s going to help as I don’t think she will listen. But I don’t want to just give up. Hoping someone here has some useful advice for me
Thank you for your help in advance and I’m sorry for the long venty post.

I was really excited to join REBubble in 2022 - there was a lot of data, facts and interesting arguments about why Real Estate was overvalued and strategies for going forward.
And yes - Real Estate was overvalued - as evidenced by people who bought in 2019+ literally being unable to move right now.
My neighbor who bought a shitbox in late 2021 because prices only go UP UP UP UP has tried to list his property 3 times now, AT JUST 10% ABOVE HIS PURCHASE PRICE - each for 3 - 4 months at a time with different agents and has resulted in a dozen showings so far and no real offer and this is premium beachside Southern California - so REBubble had it right!
I went to South Dakota in 2022 looking to purchase homes and the rent and prices shocked me out of my mind! I just didn't buy and came back to Southern California.
However, the last few months have been a very different class of postings here - about how evil companies are and how the executives fire people and pay themselves $$$$$ and how landlords are evil and jack up rents and push families to the streets.
Are there adults on this sub? People who learn from their mistakes and improve themselves from one day to the next and face adversity heads on and come out stronger?
Every employee joined because they liked the compensation and they work they did at the company and moved on to another one if that didn't work out.
All this crying about how they had to move across countries or counties make no sense - where were the tears when their (shortlived) salaries doubled or tripled?
If your rent doubled - that means people who make more money than you want to live where you are right now, so either make more money than you did or move out.
This is a honest question - is this sub now a channel for people to vent for their poor life choices and a kumbaya trying to provide support or will I get to see data, facts and interesting arguments, strategies about Real Estate again like the old REBubble was?

Hello, hello!
Who’s up for some (hopefully!) long term chatting? Obviously, if things fizzle that’s life, I get that but that’s the aim here!
About me:
Teacher life is how I spend my days. I deal with teenagers, their drama and their issues Monday-Friday while balancing trying to actually get them a decent GCSE grade! 👩🏻‍🏫
When I’m not busy teachering, you’ll find me in a city, somewhere in this world. I love city breaks, shopping trips, cultural weekends, basking in local cuisine and art. Next on the list is Paris 🇫🇷
Music is life. You’ll also find me most of the time either at a gig or in a field screaming the worlds to a song whilst having the time of my life. Indie kids unite! 🎧
Quick fire - Yoga and meditation 🧘‍♀️ obsession - Positive vibes only - North over south - Tea - never coffee ☕️ - Dogs are life 🐕
Fancy chatting? Hit me up with an interesting bio about yourself! Low effort responses will get no effort replies!
Peace out✌🏻

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Hello guys, gals, and all the colors of our wonderful rainbow. It’s that time again! What time is it you ask? Time for more fluff and love in the Ballad of Lily! I kid, After getting some feedback from the first two chapters, it’s clear I came off as a bit too fluffy and a little pretentious, like I was writing a boring autobiography. I thought I’d write a beat-by-beat recounting of our time together, but given we spent nearly 8 years living with one another, it would be quite an undertaking. With this in mind, I’ve determined to do my best and only relay the important happenings, and leave the filler out. I’ve been hard at work trying to get these out to you as quickly as I can, because there’s a lot of ground to cover. So let’s get right back into it.
You know the cast if you’re caught up, with one addition:
—----------------
OP: Me
Lily: My Girlfriend
Taz: Lily’s mother. Somehow SHORTER than Lily, which is where she got those genes from. A stocky middle-aged woman with frizzy hair and a love for all things Warner Bros’ Tasmanian Devil character.
—-----------------
And with that out of the way, let’s dive into this new installment of the Ballad of Lily. This episode: “True Navigation”.
Where last we left off, Lily and I had drifted asleep in each other’s arms. We slept peacefully through the night, but I awoke to the sound of Lily quietly crying.
Concerned, I turned to face her.
OP: “What’s wrong, love?”
Lily: “How many women have you fucked since you left me in Memphis?” She put extra emphasis on that F-word.
OP: “I don’t think that really matters, Lily. But I can see that it’s important to you. Three. We’ve been apart for almost 3 years, I’ve slept with three women.”
Lily: “Yeah, and you were gonna MARRY one of them. I thought you told me you were against marriage.”
OP: “Well, I am. But it was important to her, and I loved her. So, I agreed. If it’s important to you, one day we will as well.”
Lily was openly crying by now. “You know how many people I’ve had sex with in my life? You, and one other guy. And I could barely call it sex with him.” She slid away from me, but remained on the bed.
OP: “I’ve never cheated on you, Lily. I’m with you now, and I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not leaving. Now, or ever again. Every time. Every time we broke things off it was me who did it. I know how hard that must have been for you. I know I’ve broken your heart so many times. I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’m going to do my utmost to make our future better.”
Lily clutched the blanket. “IT FEELS LIKE CHEATING.” She nearly shouted. “I love you, I’ve loved you, for SO long.” she was sobbing, but there was anger and venom in her voice.
I tried to lay a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away. A grimace came over my face, my brain racing at how to solve this diplomatically. I softened my tone.
“I’ve loved you too, Lily. I never stopped. But life has to go on in the absence of each other. I couldn’t spend my life waiting for a day that might have never come-”
“BUT I DID!” She cried, curling into a ball as she continued sobbing.
“I can’t fix my past, Lily. But know that I love you.. I have some pancake mix. I am gonna go make us some breakfast.”
And with that, I slid off the bed, and made my way to the kitchen. I could hear her sobbing from my room, but I knew anything I said wouldn’t make things any better right now, and it was best for her to let it out. I set about the business of making breakfast. Bisquick, you glorious bastard. You make it so damn easy. I kept an ear on Lily, wishing I could do more to assuage her heartache, but the heart is a fickle thing, vulnerable and easily damaged. I had done damage to that heart, some of it I feared irreparable.
I eventually heard the sobbing wane into a soft cry, and continued on my task of making pancakes. The batter mixed, I threw some bacon in the pan to start frying up. The sizzling of the bacon, the smell wafting through the small apartment, Lily in the bedroom. Hell, it would have felt downright domestic if she wasn’t still sniffling. About halfway through the bacon cooking, I felt her arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“I’m sorry..” Came her quiet voice.
“No apology necessary.” I responded simply.
Breakfast prepared and plates distributed, we sat on my ratty couch to consume, plates in hand.
“I imagine a big TV here.” quipped Lily through her munching. I nodded, pointing at the blank wall.
“You want a plasma? We can mount it to the wall.” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Nah, those are too expensive, probably a nice rear projector, they can make them pretty thin now, and we need to get HD. They’re cheaper than plasmas.”
I nodded again, just happy she was done with crying.
“Sounds good! Once you move in and get settled, what say you we make that our first big purchase together?”
This? This was domestic bliss. Eating a simple breakfast together, talking of future plans, listening to her complain about the burned bacon. It was like heaven to me. It was these small moments I would cherish. The strife of the morning melted away into a rose-tinted beauty.
She smiled and nodded at me. “Deal.” she said. We finished our breakfast, and cuddled on the couch for a bit before I deposited the dirty dishes in the sink.
“You’re not going to do them?” She asked, referring to the dishes being dirty.
“Nah, I’ll clean up later. I want to spend every possible minute with you.”
She wrinkled her nose at that, but relented. “Alright.”
The rest of the weekend went mainly without incident, and soon enough, it came time for her to leave. As she was packing to leave, I gave her a hug. “One more month. I’ve requested time off to come to Memphis and help you get everything packed up and sorted, and get you settled here.”
We both knew the plan, she would put in her two weeks before she left Memphis, she would move in, and look for work. It didn’t have to be anything special, just something to help pay the bills.
She nodded. “I’ll be glad to have you. My step-dad refuses to help because he quote ‘Doesn’t want his only daughter to move half the country away to shack up with some dude he’s never met’ “.
I walked her down to her car, an old Pontiac Grand Prix. I loaded her stuff in the trunk, and gave her a hug that lingered for a while. “I love you. So much. I can’t wait until we’re together more permanently. These visits are nice, but it’ll be nice once you’re here permanently.” I squeezed her, and we exchanged a kiss.
“I think after everything we’ve been through.. This will be longest month of my life.” She replied
I smiled. “It’ll be over before we know it.”
She gave me a wave and pulled out from the parking spot, toddling down the parking lot and turning onto the main road. I watched until her car was out of sight, and sighed.
Then, I cried.
I had managed to hold it all weekend, but it was there, just begging to bubble to the surface. I sat on the steps up to my apartment, held my arms around myself and just sobbed. I had no idea how much I’d hurt her in the past. I just figured she would hate me after my departure from Memphis and tried my best to forget it. I had written her off as the one that got away. I didn’t wait. I didn’t even TRY. But she was always there, in the back of my mind, and often at the bottom of a liquor bottle. I was causing her pain by just existing away from her. So I cried.
After a while, I was able to settle myself down, so I stood up and quickly retreated to my own apartment. I went to the cabinet above the microwave, where Lily couldn’t reach, and retrieved a pack of cigarettes.
On the balcony now, I lit one, inhaled, felt the nicotine immediately take effect and calm me down, and exhaled slowly. This would be the last pack, I decided, as I stood there, reflecting on the weekend in the morning glow of Sunday morning.
It was a strange feeling. You long for something your whole life, and it’s finally at your fingertips, but still just out of grasp. But with every day that passes, your goal comes a little closer.
And closer it came, with every passing day. Lily and I would talk as we usually did, she showed me progress updates on her packing. I was impressed that she’d got it done so early, but she was a meticulous planner, and was usually three steps ahead in anything she had planned. She called herself a perpetual pessimist. Once saying “If I never expect anything good to happen, I can never be disappointed.”
I suppose I played a part in putting that philosophy into her. I was a fairweather boyfriend at the best of times, and freely admit it. We broke up a few times during high school, and we went a few years apart as soon as I turned 18 and moved out simply because I couldn’t afford the internet where I lived and worked. I still loved her deeply, but the reality of our situation was I was in New Mexico, and she was in Tennessee.
Through all of this, she still loved me. I don’t know how she could have possibly loved the stupid, irresponsible mess that I was. But she did, and never stopped. Always hoping I’d reach out again, but also angry that I never did. This strange dichotomy of emotion must’ve wreaked havoc on her heart.
Still, she loved me enough to leave her friends, her family in Memphis behind. She had true ties there. Friends she loved, family who despite their flaws cared for her. She was willing to leave it all behind on the gamble that I loved her, and wanted to be with her.
With that long tangent out of the way, let’s get back to the “present”. One month passed slowly, but also in the blink of an eye. Soon enough, it came time to make the trip to Memphis to help her pack. I arrived at her apartment the day before she was set to move out. We went to a local U-Haul (not sponsored) store to rent a truck.
Confession time!
I had let my license expire. …A while ago. Like, a year ago. Like I’ve said, I was at best irresponsible, and it was all my effort just to remember to pay the electric and internet bills at my apartment and keep up with rent. I had honestly forgotten it had expired until we were at the U-Haul store. The plan was to put my car on a wheel-dolly, and tow it with the truck with Lily following behind on the long journey to memphis. When I presented my ID to the clerk, he informed me that my license was expired.
Lily: “What? Expired? OP….” She glared daggers at me.
OP: “I’m just as surprised, honestly. I had completely forgotten to renew it.”
Lily gave an exasperated sigh. “I guess I’M driving the truck.”
OP: “Can you handle that?”
Lily: “It’s not like we have a choice at this point!” She said, about 5 decibels louder than socially acceptable. So, as it often happens when my dumb ass is involved, plans changed. The new plan was to load up the truck, put Lily’s car on the wheel-dolly, and I would follow behind her and hope to christ I didn’t get pulled over.
We arrived back at the apartment and began packing everything we could with just the two of us, but soon enough dusk had set. We’d made good progress and with her waterbed drained we opted to share a futon for the night.
The next morning, we set back to work loading the U-Haul. It was a three day rental, one way to Tulsa so we had a tight time-table. Moving her stuff into the U-haul was a simple affair, but required a bit of furniture tetris. It seems she measured out all her furniture and boxes and picked the smallest truck that would fit it all. And fit it did, but only just. Helping us was her mother, who in helping us move her out, was also my first time meeting her.
Taz: “So you’re the mythical OP.” She gave me the up and the down stare, circling around me. “I guess I can see what she sees in you.” She then jabbed me in the ribs with a plump finger. “Do you know how many nights I had to console her because of you?”
I could only lower my head. “Yes m’am, I know.”
Taz: “Well it looks like you’re serious about things this time. So take good care of her. If you hurt her again, I WILL come to Tulsa and find you.”
I raised my hands in defeat. “Won’t happen, this is for the long haul.”
“Good.” she replied, then pulled me into an unexpected hug. “She loves you, protect that.”
“I will” I replied, returning the hug as best as I could given her short stature.
Her step-father, as expected, was a no show. Taz said he complained that he couldn’t help because of his bad back, but we all knew he just didn’t want to be here.
With everything eventually loaded in the mid to late afternoon, we loaded Lily’s car onto the wheel-dolly, everyone exchanged hugs. Lily and Taz cried, hugging for a while and Lily making assurances that frequent visits would happen. Taz left, Lily and myself got in my car and we headed to the local dollar store for some cheap walkie-talkies to use to communicate during our trip. This was before USB charging for phones was much of a thing yet. Hell, the iPhone was still a year or so away.
We departed on the long trip back to Tulsa, me following behind a very nervous Lily as she drove a truck easily four times outside of her weight class. To her credit, she was very careful and no mishaps were had.
Well, there was one, but we’ll get to that.
About 10 minutes into the drive my walkie crackled to life. “I can barely reach the pedals!” came the bemused voice of Lily, her nervousness fading as she grew comfortable navigating the truck around.
“Glad we didn’t opt for the booster seat then.” I responded. Then, I gave just enough of a beat for comedic timing and said “Over.”
Lily: “I’ll be honest, I was afraid to drive this at first but it’s not too bad. I’m a little afraid of my night-driving ability in this thing though.” …… “Over.”
I chuckled.
OP: “True, navigation can be tough in an unfamiliar vehicle at night. I’m right behind you, if you lose your nerve I’ll drive.”
Lily: “No. MY TRUCK.” She said sternly back at me.
OP: “Thinking of a career in Logistics?” I said playfully back.
We played like truckers for a bit as we finally hit I-40, talking back and forth about “10-4 good buddy I’m ramblin on lookin’ for a lot lizard” and whatnot, just keeping the mood light as she trundled down the interstate.
The hours passed in peace. We were about two hours from Tulsa when l I saw the U-Haul swerve, but quickly get back on the road.
“Oh jesus fuck me” she said into the walkie. “I just creamed a skunk.”
“I can tell. Holy shit the smell.” I said back.
“I’m pulling over.” She said, I could hear the color draining from her face as we eased off the interstate and put on the hazards.
I got out, as did she, and she immediately ran off into the easement and threw up. I quickly opened the back of the truck, and rifled through some boxes until I found some of the cleaning supplies, which was one of the last boxes loaded. I found some Febreze, and doused the interior of the cabin with the stuff, and pulled some paper towels from the box as well. I rubbed her back as she refunded the supper we had eaten hours earlier onto the Interstate easement. I handed her a few sheets from of paper towels. “Roll up some and stuff it up your nose. I Febreze’d the SHIT out of the truck cabin so hopefully between these two things you can muscle through.”
“It’s….so bad.” She managed to choke out between retching.
After making sure she was no longer nauseous, or at least not in danger of puking again, we got back on the road. The smell was eye-wateringly bad. If you’ve ever hit a skunk on the highway, you know. If you haven’t, imagine a sick baby taking a dump in a used football helmet and strapping that to your face as you walk through a Smash Bros Tournament.
The rest of the journey happened in mostly silence, mainly because it was hard to understand her at all through the combination of cheap walkie-talkies and her home-brew hazmat mask she made from some towels and my overshirt
Finally, we got home to my (I suppose our, now) apartment. We opened the back of the truck, and quickly realized the smell had permeated into every single thing in the truck.
“God….damnit.” Lily muffled through her mask.
“Well, I’ve got loads of laundry soap, and the laundromat here is 24/7. It’s late, but we can at least get the fabrics going. However, my vote is we leave the larger things here for now, and focus on getting the softs and boxes unloaded.” So there we stood, in the stink, unloading things from boxes one by one and me giving it a sniff test to see if it was suitable to enter the apartment. The blankets and clothes were an absolute no-go, but most things that had been sealed in boxes were spared the skunk’s death knell. And the furniture could be either pine-sol’d or washed. We unpacked the items that were spared the skunk or easily de-stunk and collapsed onto my ratty couch. Lily was not in a great mood, but was happy the trip was over. She leaned into me.
“Not an auspicious start to our life together.” She deadpanned, clearly annoyed at having hit that skunk.
“Hey, if that’s the worst that happened on the way here, I’d say we got lucky.”
She turned her head slightly to look at me. “....I hit some Armadillos too.”
She sniffed the air. “Oh god.” she stammered.
“We both need showers.”
“Agreed.”
So we took turns in the shower, scrubbing vigorously until we had been made fairly sure the smell was purged from our skin. Clothes were stuffed into garbage bags and put on the balcony to air out while awaiting wash. She dug through my clothes until she found a pair of pajamas I frequently wore, and a t-shirt.
Fellas, if you’ve never seen your girl wearing your clothes, I gotta say. It’s a beautiful sight. She emerged from my room, wearing my pajamas, the t-shirt nearly reaching her knees, her hair still damp and a bit frazzled. It was… nice.
And so, we drifted to sleep, sharing my blanket Or rather, she did. I laid awake for a while, unable to sleep with my racing thoughts. I would do my damndest to respect what Taz has implored of me. She uprooted her whole damn life just to be with me.
Despite my thoughts, I was eventually able to get to sleep.
I woke up early the next morning. Lily next to me, the blanket having been long stolen from me. I was facing her, and gently put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it softly.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she frowned, clearly having been annoyed at being awoken, but as her fog cleared and she realized where she was, her gaze softened and she sleepily smiled at me.
“Morning, stinky.” I razzed her softly.
“Hey, you..” She lulled back at me.
I smiled back. “Welcome to Tulsa. You ready to start our lives?”
Annnnd that’s where we’ll leave things for today.
I was 15 when I met Lily. I was almost 23 now. Seven years of waiting. Seven years of her and I circling one another like binary stars, fated to orbit one-another, but never touch. But our orbits had decayed now, and we’d collided. For better or worse, the supernova was beginning.
No apologies for spelling or grammar mistakes. Own your mistakes.
Luca out.

Hey all! I know I’m not old, but I feel like I’m in a state of stability in the sense that I’d like to truly connect with someone younger than me and be a guide or help out.
About me
I’m originally from the south, just recently moved to Boston. I love it here, I also keep up a lot of interests and hobbies such as being outside, photography, weight lifting, and more! I also love movies and horror (:
I’m 6’1, 180lbs, blond hair and blue eyes. I have a sarcastic and dark sense of humor but am a lovable person, so don’t worry I won’t tease you too much!
What I’m looking for
Like I said, I want a genuine connection with someone younger than myself. I have a lot of life experience and am well educated, so let me help you out! Bonus points if you’re able to be completely open, honest, and vulnerable! Any age/skin colobody shape/LGBTQIA+ status is totally acceptable!
Please include your pronouns

I’m an RBT in South Carolina and I make $22/hr. I understand that I get paid pretty well for where I live because rates for RBT’s around here are typically $15 at most. I’ve heard that other states pay significantly better but wanted to know others personal experience with that. I understand that cost of living and such is also something that needs to be taken into account. I don’t plan on living in SC my whole life so I was curious on what to expect in other states.

Alright, y'all, this might be a long post, but I'm long winded and have a thing or two to say about some of the most recent posts we've been seeing. (Also forgive any typos, I wrote this out on mobile while on break from weeding my garden.)
I'm a fellow Texas girl, born and raised. I grew up in the same area and the same cultural environment that shqped the Orange Wonder. I know I'm not alone in this group so I'm sure some of y'all are seeing the same signs I'm seeing.
If you're not from around here, you may not be familiar with the unique cultural shift that seems to be happening in the Texas "Christian" circles. For a long time, the Bible study aesthetic reigned supreme. Blonde with knee high boots, a vest or cartigan with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a Bible wrapped in a rhinestone studded leather cover with a turquoise cross emblazoned on the front in the other. That was the image of the church going, Jesus loving Texas girl. Living in the suburbs in your perfect white McMansion, praising Jesus and hosting "girls nights" for the Lord. Sound familiar?
But over the past few years, there's been a rejection of the "urban" lifestyle stirring in the conservative world. The clean, tailored aesthetic is too liberal - the real Texans are salt of the earth country folk! Real "God fearin' southern women" aren't driving Infinitis with perfect manicures. They're getting up at dawn to feed the animals and make their men breakfast before they head off to their blue collar jobs! They're driving F-250s (still shiney and brand new, mind you) and wearing carhartt baseball caps over messy buns. They live in the country away from all the crazy big city left wing nonsense. The Bible study aesthetic is out - the rise of the Blue Collar Christian has begun. And Lord, has the internet picked up on it. Tiktok is teeming with "not like other girls" content creators who are raking in views touting the superiority of county girls/guys and it's blending almost seamlessly with the fundies and their "traditional" values, which is delightfully appealing to conservatives. And as a result, it's picking up steam fast in those circles.
All that to say, I think we're getting a preview of the next "aesthetic" pivot that she's about to make. Some of y'all have speculated that she'll be announcing a move to the "ranch" possibly to mask having to sell their house for whatever financial reason. If that's the case, then here's a few things we can expect to see in this newest installment of performative "lifestyle" choices:
• Rural life > city life!
• Tractor supply chic
• "Time to do farm chores!" - feeds animals, picks stalls, and other bits of the most basic care and keeping of animals
• Home grown food is the only real food - anything else is processed poison from big buisnesses (this will align perfectly with her already toxic relationship with food, btw)
• Feeling closer to God through [insert any remotely rural activity here]
• Boots, boots, and more boots.
• "Horsemanship!" - essentially a bunch of half understood terms thrown around to try and convince the average follower that she knows what shes talking about (and I really do need to stress that she's not a trainer. She's barely a rider. I'm gonna vent about that in a second)
• Raising a family the right way! (Aka not in the city, might start talking about homeschooling future kids, etc.)
• Blue collar men are sooo sexy y'all!
• Trips to the feed store or farmers market
• A steady rise in fundie and tradwife like trends.
Now, I should add that my life and upbringing have more than a little in common with our dear BD. One of which being that my parents also own a ranch. However, when I say ranch, I mean a real working ranch, not a couple dozen acre property outside of DFW with a barn, a guest house, and a riding arena. My mother owns and runs a horse breeding and training program. The rest of the ranch operation is primarily hay production. I say all this as a preface to emphasize that I know ranch life. I literally was put on a horse before I could walk. So I can tell you with absolute confidence that she's no ranch girl, and certainly isn't a horse girl. That post about her "bomb proofing" her horse about made me choke. That horse is already broke as broke can be. Someone else already did that work. The fact that she can set up her phone to record herself hanging on his neck and doing all that nonsense while he stood there relaxed and unphased is only possible because someone worked every day with that horse to reduce his reactivity. And it sure as shit wasn't her.
And I'm not gatekeeping here, I'm more than happy to see more people learning and embracing rural lifestyles. What irritates me is watching people cosplay for social media clout and try to act like authorities on issues they know nothing about.
And if I'm right, that's exactly where Little Miss Trend Chaser is headed.

This sub was really helpful during my purchase process so I thought I would share some feedback in case it helps others considering buying one and/or taking a long trip in one.
Purchase/QMerit Installation
For context, we purchased a new Bolt EV 2023 (2LT) with the infotainment package in Feb. Got very lucky, all the local dealers in Memphis who had listed inventory (of EUVs/EVs) had already been spoken for, some of them still in transit and paid for sight unseen, and nobody seemed especially interested in helping me order one - this seemed to be true out to a 250 mile radius, and even further out for most of Jan. I had one dealer in Arkansas close-by that had an EV en route that they had not yet listed, so after finding a used EUV to test-drive, I put down a deposit and purchased at MSRP with no nonsense add-ons when it came off the train a few weeks later. (Very smooth sales process, feel free to DM me if you want more info)!
I had had a mild preference for the EUV, since the plan was for this to be our daily commuter with two kids in car-seats - but in the end, we find the EV is more than spacious enough. Zero regrets, I kind of prefer the EV's look anyway and while the 3 inches of leg-space would be nice, the better efficiency is worth it.
QMerit install process was smooth, it took a few weeks but Level 1 charging was just fine for daily work/school/shopping (20-30 miles), I think it was adding about 48 miles in 12 hours overnight, the battery never really fell below 50%. The installer quoted a $1700 non-standard install at first but once I e-mailed QMerit customer service about it, they said they would cover it completely. I got them to install an Emporia charger that I'm happy with, had it hardwired which is probably a bit overkill but it does indeed charge at around 11.5Kw. The only real use for the level-2 is getting back from a weekend away close to empty and needing a full charge before an unusually busy weekday of driving; I suppose it extends the life of the dual-level charger which is useful when charging at campgrounds or when staying at others' houses.
Road Trip We took our first long-distance road trip in the car last week for spring break, about 800 miles each way to visit family in Florida.
A few observations in case they are useful to others planning to buy a Bolt and/or to take a long trip in one, esp. in the South:
1) A Better Route Planner is very useful: not sure the premium features are worth it or necessary (but I'm happy to support the developer!). I started out quite conservative (requested arriving SoC at 10%) and pushed that down to 5% on the way back: I think it makes sense to keep it higher because it seems to be around 6-8% that the range will drop to "low" and you get a reduced propulsion message, which you might find stressful (we did the first time, but I believe you should still have 10 miles left at that point).
2) Plugshare seems to be the best place to get up-to-date reviews (most of the major charging stations had check-ins within days of us). Seems to be good etiquette to update if things go well (there were some chargers that had not been checked in for weeks or months and I was concerned about depending on them in case there was some issue) as well as if things go poorly. Especially useful if you are in urgent need of charging, as it will turn up wall outlets and level 2 chargers that are not always in ABRP's route plan.
3) Driving in this region (TN/MS/AL/GA/FL) a lot of your stops will be at Electrify America, often at Walmarts. We never had problems finding a working stall but it was typical for 1-2 out of 4 to have some kind of issue (usually already documented on Plugshare). It charges very quickly under 50% (55 Kw), so the ideal situation is to arrive with <20% charge and get to 80% within an hour. EVGo also worked well the one time we used it. It makes sense to get the monthly plan even for a single trip, I think I saved over $8 on one long charge alone.
4) We typically don't drive continuously for more than 4 hours anyway, so the stopping to charge was not generally an issue. The problem is that you are forced to stop at, well, these particular locations - at best, strip malls in the suburbs of big cities (Memphis, Birmingham, Montgomery, Tallahassee, Jacksonville, Ormond Beach etc.), sometimes just a convenience store or gas station. There are usually a few food options but you are limited to what happens to be available if you want to eat while charging. With small kids in particular, you may only have 1-2 options that can be walked to across a parking lot: twice on our trip, I dropped the family off 0.5-1 mile and walked back over, which wouldn't be so bad if there were pedestrian walkways or cross-walks but there aren't in such places. In contrast, on our ICE road trips, we would detour to state parks for a hike and picnic (e.g.) or stop at any restaurant we wanted, whereas we felt a lot of pressure with the Bolt (for time-efficiency's sake) to make our charging stops our only eating/rest-stops because of how long they were. (To be clear, not all charging stops are long.)
5) Plugshare will also generally give you info on hotel chargers (Kayak and other platforms will let you filter hotels in an area by "EV Charging" amenity), typically level 2 ClipperCreek chargers that will get you a full charge overnight. They are not reservable in advance, and hotels don't always enforce a policy not to park ICE cars there. The first time we stayed at one, four Tesla spots and two ClipperCreek spots right by the entrance were taken up by ICE cars, and we arrived late (after 11PM)... luckily while I was unloading, I happened to notice someone come out for a smoke by his car and he moved it to another spot. The second time, there was clearer signage and the EV spots were less conveniently located so the spot was open despite arriving late in the evening. But if two people happened to need a single charger overnight, there is no obvious way to communicate with one another (perhaps through actively checking in on the Plugshare app and DMing there, leaving a note with the front-desk or a sign on your dashboard with your phone number). It worked out for us this time but I would not rely on getting a full charge at such places in the future.
6) We had no problem stuffing the trunk with enough stuff for a week: three carry-on suitcases, plus bags of books, board-games, sports-gear, swimming/snorkel gear, a couple of violins). We could probably pack more efficiently so I don't see cargo-space as the limiting factor for the trip for a family of four.
Tl;dr. Overall, the trip went well - but I don't think we will be taking the Bolt on a multi-day road trip (400+ mi). Its principally the flexibility of being able to take our long stops wherever we would like that I miss about our ICE road-trips, as well as sleep wherever we would like. Everything worked out as well as it could have for us in every other respect, and obviously we saved a great deal on gas even with paid DCFC. So while I feel slightly uneasy about how close we might have been to losing a few hours here or there due to charging issues (waiting, technical issues, not getting a hotel EV spot etc.), I think the infrastructure is already good enough and improving fast enough, that those concerns are not really the constraint.
What I'd love to see across the South are multiple (2-4) L3 chargers at every interstate rest stop, in main streets in towns on state highways/routes that are not interstates, and at local/state/national parks, as well as at more hotels - that is, enough density of chargers that one can be nearly as thoughtless about them as we are as ICE drivers about plotting routes without thinking of gas station. Neither commercial demand nor local/state/federal policy seem to be quite there yet but as EV adoption continues (esp. of non-Teslas!), I feel optimistic.

When I was a TBM I was always fascinated by the various polygamist communities that are rooted in Mormonism. I wondered how they could pull off such utter bull shit and manipulate and control their membership. Meanwhile, I was a happy-go-lucky TBM Mormon.
Now that I've been out two years, I view mainstream Mormons (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) with the same fascination. I wonder, how do these people not realize how they are being manipulated? How do they not see the contradictions? Granted, I was in their shoes just a few years ago but I still find it amazing. I have not been back to Church in over two years after a lifetime of activity but were I to return I'd find it fascinating to watch up close, just like being in a polygamist congregation. That's how far out I am now.
Anyone else feel totally alienated by what used to be your way of life?

I was raised as child/teen/young adult in family that when to Pentecostal Holiness Church. I understand that there are a variety of sectors of beliefs that fall underneath this umbrella, so to provide a clearer understanding of my religious upbringing I have provided a list of common practices/beliefs that I was exposed to or experienced. Sins (that I considered not mainstream) included playing sports, wearing short sleeves, wearing makeup, wearing pants if you are female, wearing shorts, cutting your hair if you are female, going to amusement parks, owning a TV, listening to music that wasn’t Southern Gospel, watching movies/sports/TV shows/news, and attending sporting events. It was also frowned upon to have internet access or go to a public school, although I did go to public school and we also had internet access. Our religious practices included praying through until we believed we had achieved salvation (meaning you prayed until you believed god had forgiven you for all your past sins and that you promised God to never sin again and do what he asked of you). Another aspect of the religion was speaking in tongues. This is best described as a person praying until that person falls into a trance in which they will speak gibberish. To go to heaven, it was required to be saved while speaking in tongues was seen as more as a next level sort of thing. The Bible was taken literally, it was believed that individuals who failed to stick to this legalistic viewed where backsliders that would burn in a lake of fire for eternity. I had always been critical of the religion even when I still practiced it (I am very analytical by nature). After spending several years personally researching the history of the bible, cultures/beliefs of civilizations/peoples related to the bible/Christianity, psychology, and a variety of other topics; my belief in God collapsed. I will also point out; my goal was never to prove the religion wrong or right. I am a 26-year-old gay man with a love of history, so I naturally had a variety of questions to ask about the religion and actions of my fellow church members. It has been about 3 years since my I stopped attending Church. I have had time to reflect. I now believe that being raised in this religion had a massive impact on my development throughout my childhood, teenage, and young adult years. I was a naturally shy child with an overprotective mother. The list of things prohibited such as sports, music, and televisions provided a significant barrier to creating relationships with fellow peers throughout childhood. I had very little in common with them since I did not understand the subjects (sports, video games, movies, music, etc.) they spoke of. Furthermore not being allowed to participate in sports limited my options to develop risk taking and relationship building skills as a child and teen. While I do not believe the religion is to blame for all these struggles/shortcomings, I see it as a major contributing factor. It created/worsened many problems that I still struggle with to this day. I have recently noticed that my still religious brother and sister, seem to be having some problems psychologically. They seem to be struggling to create non-romantic and romantic relationships. They also are struggling significantly with their careers. They both seem to go through periods of depression on a regular basis. I personally believe that we missed a part of healthy/natural psychological development. I also believe you cannot force someone to give up their religious beliefs; It must be done organically. Being able to reflect on my upbringing and its affects has helped me create a happy healthy life over the last four years. Do I need to open up to my family about my observations/experience? I am starting to become extremely worried about my brother and sister.

I was raised as child/teen/young adult in family that when to Pentecostal Holiness Church. I understand that there are a variety of sectors of beliefs that fall underneath this umbrella, so to provide a clearer understanding of my religious upbringing I have provided a list of common practices/beliefs that I was exposed to or experienced. Sins (that I considered not mainstream) included playing sports, wearing short sleeves, wearing makeup, wearing pants if you are female, wearing shorts, cutting your hair if you are female, going to amusement parks, owning a TV, listening to music that wasn’t Southern Gospel, watching movies/sports/TV shows/news, and attending sporting events. It was also frowned upon to have internet access or go to a public school, although I did go to public school and we also had internet access. Our religious practices included praying through until we believed we had achieved salvation (meaning you prayed until you believed god had forgiven you for all your past sins and that you promised God to never sin again and do what he asked of you). Another aspect of the religion was speaking in tongues. This is best described as a person praying until that person falls into a trance in which they will speak gibberish. To go to heaven, it was required to be saved while speaking in tongues was seen as more as a next level sort of thing. The Bible was taken literally, it was believed that individuals who failed to stick to this legalistic viewed where backsliders that would burn in a lake of fire for eternity. I had always been critical of the religion even when I still practiced it (I am very analytical by nature). After spending several years personally researching the history of the bible, cultures/beliefs of civilizations/peoples related to the bible/Christianity, psychology, and a variety of other topics; my belief in God collapsed. I will also point out; my goal was never to prove the religion wrong or right. I am a 26-year-old gay man with a love of history, so I naturally had a variety of questions to ask about the religion and actions of my fellow church members. It has been about 3 years since my I stopped attending Church. I have had time to reflect. I now believe that being raised in this religion had a massive impact on my development throughout my childhood, teenage, and young adult years. I was a naturally shy child with an overprotective mother. The list of things prohibited such as sports, music, and televisions provided a significant barrier to creating relationships with fellow peers throughout childhood. I had very little in common with them since I did not understand the subjects (sports, video games, movies, music, etc.) they spoke of. Furthermore not being allowed to participate in sports limited my options to develop risk taking and relationship building skills as a child and teen. While I do not believe the religion is to blame for all these struggles/shortcomings, I see it as a major contributing factor. It created/worsened many problems that I still struggle with to this day. I have recently noticed that my still religious brother and sister, seem to be having some problems psychologically. They seem to be struggling to create non-romantic and romantic relationships. They also are struggling significantly with their careers. They both seem to go through periods of depression on a regular basis. I personally believe that we missed a part of healthy/natural psychological development. I also believe you cannot force someone to give up their religious beliefs; It must be done organically. Being able to reflect on my upbringing and its affects has helped me create a happy healthy life over the last four years. Do I need to open up to my family about my observations/experience? I am starting to become extremely worried about my brother and sister.

With the release of the full versions of all the shuffle songs, I thought I’d finally review all 10 songs and rank them accordingly! Just a few disclaimers: this is completely my own opinion - just because a song is low on the list does not mean it is a bad song (in fact they’re all amazing), and I would only be judging the song (i.e. instrumentals, vocals, lyrics, concept etc) while things like the 3DMV, story, outfits and card arts will be ignored. I also do not know much about music theory, this is largely from a casual listener's POV so don't expect much in-depth analysis.
Also, I highly recommend everyone give the full songs a listen as they are all amazing songs in their own rights and the game versions did cut out some parts that drastically affected my ranking prior to the full song releases.
10) Sweet Sweet White Song - Branco
For a song that’s all about cuteness, they really went hard on the instrumentals. I liked how the song started with the piano for the first verse, and as the song progresses the other instruments slowly creep in until they come in full force with the chorus where the violin is a true standout. As if that wasn’t enough, they add a guitar later on in the second pre-chorus followed by a full guitar solo, like that wasn’t necessary but I’ll take it! The only reason the song is last place honestly is because of the concept. Cute boys singing a cute song about Christmas isn’t exactly a fresh concept, and although it is still an amazing song it definitely did not blow me out of the water like the other shuffles did. I actually was indifferent to the song upon release, and only after listening to the full version did it start to grow on me. But still, the VAs did an amazing job selling the cuteness of the song with their light vocals, and especially early on it was an excellent addition to the shuffle series.
9) Paradigm Reversi - Puffy☆Bunny
I feel extremely bad placing this here, but it to be completely honest, there are only 2 reasons why this song is this low - firstly is that I’m not a fan of synths, and secondly because Eguchi Takuya (Wataru’s VA) is too god damn talented he blew everyone else out of the park. Not to say the other VAs didn’t do a good job; there were stellar performances all around but Eguchi took to this song like a fish to water - there is a clear difference in Wataru’s vocals to the rest in how much he sells the absurdity and excitement of the song. The song itself, for lack of a better description, is a high tempo fever dream. The only time the song slows down is during the pre-choruses, before immediately ramping up back to max speed which actually are the parts of the songs I enjoy the most. It is certainly fun to play in a rhythm game, but it’s definitely not a song I would listen to religiously.
8) Date Plan AtoZ - AtoZ
There are so many layers to it - the piano on top with the bass playing off each other during the verses are so fun to listen to, and each boy brings their own charm to the song (Natsume and Kaoru sounding lowkey flirtatious, Chiaki, Mitsuru and NIki sounding really excited) that suggests how dating each of them would differ which really sells the concept. The lyrics are also extremely endearing, being about how someone is making plans upon plans to bring someone they like on a date while being anxious about it all the time. And of course, the highlight of the song is definitely the chorus. My only gripe with the song is that small section between the pre-chorus and the chorus that throws me off everytime. But sometimes being the first isn’t necessarily a good thing - HappyEle definitely was much more adventurous in the later shuffles (and it paid off), making the earlier shuffles pale in comparison. Still, a strong first entry in the series and there’s a reason why it topped the JP Billboard downloads charts, beating out Gurenge by LiSA.
7) Midnight Butlers - XXVeil
Trumpet. And bass. That’s it, that’s all I have to say.
Okay, obviously that’s a lie, but god damn this song is so darn catchy. My 2 favorite genres of music are jazz and rock, so I’m obviously biased. Still, I love how the song starts off slow to suggest night approaching before the iconic trumpet melody starts repeating itself endlessly and the instruments kick into full force, only stripping down to just the keyboard when the song reaches its ending, signifying dawn approaching and the end of their work for tonight until the sun sets again. One thing that I really enjoyed are the vocals themselves. The 5 members all have really unique timbres, which really sells the concept of 5 individuals coming together for a common goal. Definitely the catchiest shuffle of all, and yes, the trumpets are still stuck in my head.
6) FIST OF SOUL - Butou-Kai
(As a Jun/Kuro/Tetora/AdonisP, it hurts me to put it this low)
Bias aside, as a rock/metalhead I love it when HappyEle decides to just devote completely to the rock sound and go ham on the guitars and drums, which they certainly did in this case. Add in key changes and I’m in love. Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where the full version kind of hurt its ranking because it definitely would’ve placed higher if not for that awkward rap section after the first chorus. Personally, I felt it was unnecessary and broke the tempo of the song, which is a kind of ironic given how the concept is about brawling. Of course it’s alright to slow down for a bit before revving up again for the chorus - a good example is in the bridge after the second chorus, but the rap just felt out of place compared to the rest of the song. Other than that, loved every other bit of it - I definitely ate well when this shuffle dropped (in more ways than one).
5) Noir Neige - La Mort
If XXVeil was all about individualism, La Mort is all about harmony. Their voices complement each other so well they sound like a church choir. And not just each other, their voices also syncs so well with the instrumentals its almost mesmerizing. What I especially love is how the violin sounds as if it was conducting the other instruments as they frantically try to keep up with the tempo, giving it a macabre, frenzied vibe. The only gripe I have with this song is that it would’ve benefited a lot from ad-libs because when the song thrives, it's when the instruments and the vocals intertwine and play off each other, so when it's just instrumentals the song feels as if it’s missing something. But still, amazing song, even more amazing vocals, can’t wait for it to hit EN and wreck everyone's wallets.
4) Aisle, be with you - Ring.A.Bell
Honestly, I don’t know why people barely talk about this song. In my extremely humble opinion, it took everything that made AtoZ great and improved on it. Beautiful instrumentals? Check. Amazing vocal performances? Check. The song is a masterpiece from start to finish; there are no parts that I find weird or awkward, and it makes me emotional listening to it from time to time, which is definitely not something I can say about most of the other songs on this list. Midori’s apprehension, Mao’s sincerity, Keito’s warmth, Leo’s innocence, Eichi’s certainty - each of them bring out their own charm to the song. Also the pun in the title? Aisle, be with you? I’ll be with you? TLDR, don’t sleep on this shuffle just because it’s not talked about as much as the others, you’ll be missing out.
3) Have you been naughty or nice - Flambe
The THIRST when this shuffle dropped. Honestly, this felt like a slap to Butokai’s face given how both are rock-orientated shuffles but this one actually had a rap section that doesn’t sound awkward. In fact it’s one of the best parts of the song, with the ad-libs adding a melody on top of a section with just bass and percussion. One thing I also appreciated was how this shuffle differed from the rest - while the other shuffles generally tried to fit characters into elements they are known for or good at, this one decided to go the opposite direction and took characters from units who are as far removed from rock as possible (fine, Ra*bits) and it definitely paid off. I hope that the success of this shuffle encourages HappyEle to keep making grunge songs because there obviously is an audience for it (literally the highest earning shuffle). Meanwhile, just don’t show this to your conservative christian parents or they might faint.
2) Heart aid Cafeteria - Blend+
I’ll be honest - until I listened to the full version this was last place in my rankings. I don’t know whether to be happy that the full version is so amazing, or to be sad at how much the game version was cut. The cut version was amazing at first, until it reached the end of the chorus where it just…floundered about awkwardly. It felt as if there was something, or rather a lot of things missing from the song. The full version fixes everything (or rather it was always there - the cut version butchered it). Of note, the one-liners and the improvisations give so much personality and life to the song and characters. The song is essentially an experience of a butler cafe, and I can say for certain I thoroughly enjoyed it. This is probably hands down my favorite song out of all the shuffle, but objectively speaking there is one song that is a cut above the rest and that is…
1) Moonlight Disco - Ghetto Spectacle
I don’t think anyone was really surprised to see this at the top - it is certainly the most popular shuffle by far. IMO what makes this song so much better than the rest is how unconventional it is compared to the other songs. A standard song structure goes like this: verse 1, chorus, verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus. Some songs do switch it up, a good example is Romance by Yoasobi, where they cut out the second chorus and go straight to the bridge, or do things such as key changes between the verses and the chorus. What Moonlight Disco does though, is even more unconventional. They start off with a pre-chorus, leading into what seems to be a chorus (A) before going into the verse all the while in the minor key. Halfway through the verse the key suddenly changes and the actual pre-chorus starts before leading into the actual chorus and then heading back into A, changing the key back in the process. From here on the song does continue down the conventional route, but this fake out leaves a huge impression that makes me want to listen to the song again and again. Add to that a strong vocal performance, catchy instrumentals (damn trumpets again), ad-libs to add personality and you’ve got a masterpiece of a song that encourages people to come back again and again and again long after their first listen. Enstars as a whole does have a pretty high standard when it comes to songs, but even so songs like this are a cut above the rest of the already stellar repertoire. An absolute masterpiece, and I haven’t even gone into the lyrics (it’s based on the Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, the song is about enjoying one last night together before being separated forever, watch The Tale of Princess Kaguya if you’re interested).
That’s it for my rankings! This mostly came from some late night brain rot while listening to the shuffles, so a huge thanks to anyone who reads through all of this! I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this, like I said it is purely my own opinion and you are entitled to yours. That’s it for my ramblings, may the gacha be kind to us all.

A Cartoon-ish game I remembered out of nowhere and can't, for the life of me, remember the name.
The story is you have a plane crash onto an either South American or Indonesian Island and you are given a screen of a a jungle or cave or some environment and you must click this background to find parts to fix the plane. Chilling music of those "bamboo beams with holes" instument is playing throughout the game. That's all the stuff I solidly remember.
The speculation bits are as follows: I believe you encounter natives who are friendly but don't recall what they do, if anything, or how they look. There are no other survivors, I'm hanging on saying because it wasn't like a comercial plane but closer to a weather enthusiast or something, you are the only player.
I played this when I was less-than-7-years-old and don't remember anything else.

I can't seem to view my step kid and my bio child the same. I'm sorry. I know everyone says your supposed to but I don't understand how. (He's 9, I've been in his life for 4.5 years)
Ss is just so needy and exhausting. And he LOVESS doing his moms bidding for him. She's a HCBM, and is insecure and unstable (can't keep a job, apartment, relationship). He'll admit I'm so nice, soft spoken and I treat him with respect(the opposite of his mom) but yet he still craps on me when he's feeling insecure and reacts similarly to his mom so I get it's learned behavior (My partner does correct this but I almost think it makes it worse some days).
I enjoy spending time with my bio child who is younger yet communicates feelings in a healthy way and we can work together to fix it. My ss I walk on eggshells around waiting for the explosion. My bio kid has exploded since they were a tot.
I'm expected to be the same as his bio mom in terms of what I do for him and how I treat him yet I have no claim to him, no real say/control in how he's raised, and I'm the one getting shit on if things go south. So I don't get the unconditional love that mom gets yet I'm supposed to give it? How does that make sense? My love for this bonus family is conditional on how my child and I are treated and I'm starting to not like my ss. Our home is just so much more peaceful, loving and happy when he's not here.
:(
I thought by now it'd be better.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for close to 7 months now but it feels like we've no each other our entire lives. We met at our college orientation and we've been together ever since and it's one of the best decisions of my entire life (so far), and I've never felt happier with anyone. One small issue though, she faces extreme homesickness and I'm having trouble helping.
Moving to college has been tough for both of us, but it's been especially tough for her since she is very attached to her family. I have recently made changes to my beliefs and lifestyles that have caused my parents and I to grow apart, which has been making it easier for me to become more independent and I feel more developed as an adult. However, she is still very emotionally reliant on her family, in spite of how independent and mature she is. It's certainly not a bad thing in my opinion, but everytime we come back to school she gets so sad that you could consider her depressed, and I just don't know how I can be there for her aside from my usual mix of larger romantic gestures (like homemade dinners, the occasional night out, and movie nights in our dorm rooms) and the frequent quality time we spend together (meals, grocery shopping, projects, church, etc.). She says that I can't really help her at all but I still feel like there is at least something I can do to at least make things easier for her. Any advice?

The premise is simple. My brother sent me a photo showing off a new toy of his sitting in his garage. Staring right at me behind it was a Confederate flag. He was born in the NW and we have no ancestors from the south. He now lives in Texas, but the majority of his life has been in non-confederate states.
He's watched Fox News since the Bush administration and said he doesn't believe anything unless it's from Fox News or the Bush admin. I've always thought him to be racist based on things he's said. He tells me I don't know anything because I'm sheltered, and his time spent as a prison guard or deputized martial means he knows more politically than I could ever possibly know.
Anyway, I'm don't hate my brother and I've taken his phone calls and talked to him. My wife started to text them this year about meeting somewhere on vacation to hang out, and I told her that the confederate flag was the last straw for me. I don't want to go out of my way to see them or make plans with them. She thinks I'm being an asshole and over-reacting. (she means well)
Then yesterday while speaking with my mom, my wife brought it up, and my mother agreed with her. My mom these days of course supports Putin's war in Ukraine, so I'm taking what she says with a grain of salt..
This all culminates with me wondering... Am I the asshole, not for wanting to avoid my brother at all costs, but simply to not make plans to see them when we're traveling? Do people overwhelming agree with my side? Or are there others who think it's no big deal to fly a flag that's a symbol for support of slavery?

Is there a legal way to shelter earned income from taxes by founding a church and then making charitable donations to that church? The church's mission could be only one member (me) and funds are used to enrich my life because it would be about worshipping myself... or some other reason. You get the idea - are there rules/limits/restrictions that would prevent this space from being explored further for loopholes? Likewise for non-profits entities that are self-owned and benefits myself?
The last half of this video talks about how several rich people may be uses church entities as tax havens - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO6KH9ucfrY

I had a dream that a man named Braga had a conversation with Trotsky, about the world, politics, but also just everyday life. But suddenly they were in a church and Trotsky fell to his knees before the cross and made a vow to Jesus Christ, very suddenly, he said, "I only serve the Lord." Can a Trotskyist help me interpret this, and was Trotsky ever in a church? Serious question

I used to be terrified of intimacy and of being with one person all the time, I used to shut down and pull away and try to withdraw, was so guarded, I still am to a certain degree.. But I feel myself becoming so comfortable in my vulnerability, in my naivety, in my imperfection, in my humanness, in my neediness, in my craving, in my desire.. I find myself wanting to be with her all the time, even if I may not yet have the emotional intelligence for a bond so deep, even if i am scared, even if i have social anxiety.. I wish to be with her and I feel nervous when she is away...
To be honest, I would take this feeling from being numb and distant any day.. I tell you, it feels like I am more alive, even if one day things go south and I have to bear the crushing pain and despair of a heartbreak, I will take it..
Is this a sign that I am leaning towards a breakthrough? Am I getting closer to being securely attached? In feeling my emotions without judging myself, being more expressive, being more loving, being more closer, being more caring, expressing my needs, taking more effort.. It feels good.. To know that I am letting my heart breathe..
My heart is sighing, it is letting loose, it is surrendering.. And there is this onset of an anxiety when I am away from her.. This sadness..
And despite my fear of intimacy, despite all my shortcomings, despite the fears of rejection, despite the fear I am not good enough.. I want to show up.. I want to love.. With my heart on my damn sleeve.. My heart on fire, I want to grow and be better like my life depended on it.. I want to give her my all.