Last year I connected with someone I've known for like 8 years and we've always had a strong underlying attraction for each other. But I knew what he was like and I knew he had a tendency to be very distant, as in disappear for weeks at a time to hyperfocus on his hobbies and things like video games. He's had a problem with this in a lot of his relationships--he focuses too much on hobbies and not on his relationship--women leave him. I knew this. I knew I didn't like that about him and I kept him at arms length because of it, even when he was obviously showing me he was interested.
But last year, we reconnected and he came on STRONG. He was attentive, wanted to spend so much time together, he offered me basically everything I had ever wanted from him. We would stay up all night until the late morning just talking and spending time together. And I knew it was a risk, but I went along with it, for some reason I hoped this would be different or real. We had an amazing 4 months together before any problems started. Like I had honestly never been happier in my life. Then his distance started kicking in. It was slow at first. Our time spent together slowly became a fraction of what it had been. He was verbally very reassuring, but physically just mainly focused on his hobbies. I started FA-acting out(not something I'm proud of, but a fear response I guess), the first time I'd shown any aggression or irritation toward him, he obviously was not into that. The distance got worse, but he remained very sweet. I convinced myself he'd lost interest and (he) felt stuck.
I eventually bailed without any warning or convo. He was so pissed, he cut me out in return. I spent months just agonizing and obsessing over this. Like I had clearly made a mistake. Why couldn't I have just waited it out. Why couldn't I have talked about it. I had intended to use this time to get over it, but I didn't, instead I just was in hell.
I got him back in contact months later. It's been nearly 3 months back in contact. It was rocky at first, he really took offense to me suddenly disappearing on him, but he was warmed up tremendously. I do think he feels something for me. He is positive and responsive and does stay in contact(not as much as I would like). He has started trusting me again and being vulnerable with me. But its not going how I want it too. Despite him inching closer to me emotionally and seeming excited to talk to me and showing signs he is forgiving me for basically abandoning him first---I am over here just flooding myself with "he just sees you as a friend now", "he's being polite, you know he's a nice guy.", "he actually thinks you are pathetic and is weirded out you came back", "if he liked you still, this would have progressed more by now", "what if you're over here thinking you're rebuilding stuff between you and he just falls for someone else all the sudden", "what if *this* is all you ever get."
And then I'm like "what are you doing here?" "get out, this is a time bomb." Like I spent months and months in agony just hoping for another chance at this and I have it now and I'm thinking about bailing again!? I wouldn't do it--I KNOW he wouldn't give me another chance if I did this again, but I fantasize about it. Just being free and cutting this connection and not having to worry about it any more, but I also know that those 4 months after I disappeared the first time were MISERY for me and I'm embarrassed to say I had never been more unhappy in my life.
I feel trapped. Not by him, by me. By my weird fixation on this situation, by the uncertainty of if this is all it will ever be, by the thought that I should let it go but I can't. How is it possible to feel trapped by something that asks nothing of you? How do I chill the F out?!

I've been grinding too much and it's making me miserable; I'm beginning to hate the game. I really love the game but I'm trying to get this one Asshimar Haro skin and have nearly 3000 Limitover points and still not got it. It doesn't help that I've seen other Asshimar with both Haro gun and skin in the first couple of days of the event. I have lots of duplicates for almost everything else I have got i.e. ornaments and sprays. I know there are 11 days more left but I think I need a break now before I get burnt out completely. I know it's just a stupid cosmetic but the heart wants what it wants.
I really think after a set amount of points we should be able to exchange for one item from the Overlimit drop pool.

Me (23M) and so (20F) have been in a relationship for two years and in the last two/three months we decided to open our relationship.
Just to give some context I’ll say it’s something that she wanted to try even before the start of our relationship but for me was a big nono because I always felt a big connection between sex and feeling, but months ago I agreed because I felt it was unfair to impose my views on relationship over hers without even giving it a try.
We agreed in two rules: 1. Only one night stand 2. Not with friends
We both had good experiences, and it’s been a period of personal growth very important. I still have some of my original ideas about the connection between sex and feeling but the part of it that was mediated by insecurities and social constructs it’s pretty much gone.
And here comes the real problem: nearly a month ago she had her first very good experience with a person (26M) in her same field of studies, btw we have at the moment a long distance relationship but in October I’ll move there for my master, and yesterday she saw him again for the first time in the library of their faculty and they took a coffee together. After that she called me and said that she still have a great connection with this person, how she likes to talk to him, finds him interesting, have a lot of sexual chemistry and how they have talked about how both have a great memory of their night together. Then she started to take the conversation on the fact she would like to see him again. Honestly I felt blindsided, I told her that it sounded like she had a crush, that I think it’s normal to have one and I believe her when she says she loves me but still it was something that was making me uncomfortable.
In my mind a crush is something bigger than a simple connection, a crush can lead to other things and in my mind maybe even because I know that they are in the same city and studying the same things I see this person as somebody that could jeopardize our relationship.
Finally I told her that she can do whatever she wants and after I’ll see how I feel about it, I don’t want her choice to be in a certain way because I told her so or made her feel threatened by me breaking up with her but I can’t deny this last point if I’ll be very hurt by her actions.
The call ended with her telling me that the first rule is in pause and if I wanted to see someone I had sex before I could, I told her I’m not interested in it and that was the end of the call.
Ultimately I know that if I could just see that rule as gone and just accept that our relationship maybe is simply evolving this would all be easier. So I ask you what can I do to make this process unharming and healthier for the both of us?

[T.W: Suicide ideation, self harm]
Hi everyone, how y'all doing? Hope y'all are having a fantastic day.
Alright, I don't know whether this would be the right sub to post it but, I honestly don't know where else to post this and I'm looking for any tiny ounce of optimism.
Honestly, I myself don't know what exactly I am looking for. This is gonna be more like a rant ig. Just leave your opinion below guys.
I have been lurking in this sub for a while now and most people here seem chill, laid back and friendly. I thought, maybe reaching out to people of this sub would help me in some way or other way.
I'm 19M, I have been living with my parents. I'm from a tier 3 town in central Tamil Nadu. I'm an engineering student at a Tier 3 Anna University affliated college in my town. I'm a B.E Electronics and Communication Engineering student to be specific. I never really wanted to join this college tho.
I was a happy and studios kid back in my 10th std. My shit was together. I was the popular kid, but never really bothered to be popular in first place. (I'm sorry if I sounded cocky here)
I scored very good marks both in my 10th std midterms and preboards but, due to my lethargic attitude and my newly formed phone addiction back then, I messed up 10th std final boards and got only 372/500. I had the potential to get 400+ but screwed up big time.
We had a new principal at our school back then. She implemented strict rules for admission of previous 10th std class students into 11th std.
You had to have scored above 350 to even secure admission for 11th std (even if you were the old 10th std student). You had to have secured 400, to demand for Maths stream, otherwise you had to go for pure science.
My dad thought that there isn't much scope with pure science stream so he wanted me enroll for CS-maths. Since I had scored only 372/500, my dad decided to change my school.
I lost touch with my old schoolmates, couldn't make any new friends here. I hated every second in that new school. I was very depressed.
2020 came, so did COVID. This is when my mental health deteriorated. I also found out that my parents might not be the kindest people, which I thought them of to be.
One day, I heard my mom talk shit about me and gossip about me to one of my aunt on phone. I overheard it. Prior to that, I have told her multiple times to not do that anymore but, she still did. I was infuriated and wanted to teach her a lesson, so I took a blade from my sharpener and cut myself deep in one of my arms. When she the scar, she was horrified. She did feel sorry for a while about it but, when on to do it again.
I once kinda tried to do similar thing with my dad as he was also no receptive to my talks. I drank a bottle full of phenoyl from bathroom and cut myself multiple times. He didn't even feel sorry like my mom did. He just flat out told me that I was doing this all for attention. I drank that phenol while he was about to go to bed. He didn't do anything, he didn't even care anything about me, he didn't even flinch. He didn't care if I was alive or dead.
Now some of you may ask that this is highly toxic of me. Yes, I agree but, what can you expect from an only child born to two emotionally unavailable parents?
There were many times where their activities clearly bothered and I would tell them. They would still go on to do it. How am I supposed to communicate? Isn't communication a key in any healthy relationship? What if the person you are trying to communicate to, isn't receptive at all?
The more and more I hurt myself, they lesser receptive they became. They never bothered to ask me what I wanted or what's that's bothering me. The more and more I cut myself, they would take me to this money minded psychiatrist, who also never listened to my problems but would prescribe me bunch of sedatives, when I had no sleeping issue in first place.
I eventually formed a dependance on his sedatives down the line and couldn't get rid of them for nearly 1 year. I was taking meds throughout 2020 for nothing.
My parents would buy me anything but were never emotionally available or supportive. They were downright abusive to say the least.
Then, by the year 2021, I was about to write my 12th board exams but COVID second wave happened.
I got 357/500 in 12th std, which isn't some good marks. My batch got passed during second wave COVID lockdown when government declared us all to have passed the exams without writing them.
I always wanted to pursue my bachelors outside of my own hometown, like Chennai or Coimbatore but, my dad refused to let me go outside of this town cos he said he doesn't trust me and I would toil away all of my course duration, partying, goofing around instead of studying.
I even tried to convince him to send me to Trichy SRM but, he didn't bulge to it too. He said that our house is too far away so I wouldn't be able to study everyday after returning from college.
Trichy itself is 1½ hours away from my home. Not to mention, I myself have seen SRM bus often time crossing our neighborhood. I even begged him to get me enrolled at a hostel for the sake joining Trichy SRM but adhuku kuda, "Nee veetta vittu veliya pona padika maatta" crap.
I was basically given two options, get BCA at Sastra or go for B.E at this local engineering college. I chose the latter. I tried convincing my dad he didn't bulge. One of my relative even tried to support me but, he still didn't bulge.
I somehow secretly resent him for what he made me to do.
Now, let's talk about the real stuff that has been bothering me.
I joined this local tier 3 Anna University affliated college. I got one backlog in 1st sem. Then got 3 backlogs in 2nd sem. 4 new backlogs in 3rd sem. By the time I got 4 new backlogs, I had already cleared 3 out of the 4 old backlogs (1 from 1st sem +3 from 2nd sem). Now, I have total of 5 backlogs and I'm in 4th sem.
I was always afraid that I would spend the rest of my course duration trying to clear backlogs and I would never develop skills required for employment in the industry. Other times, I'm just scared that I will become one of this poor souls with 20+ or 30+ backlogs, who never managed to get a degree.
But then, I would always tell myself that it's okay. From now on, I would work hard. I will make sure I don't add up new backlogs anymore while simultaneously studying to clear old backlogs.
But what happened today, completely shattered my confidence.
Today was our second day of 4th sem final exams and I messed it up. Today we had EMF (electromagnetic field). Day before yesterday was our first exam, it was EVS. It went pretty well.
I had prepared well for my emf exam. I had scored good marks for this subject in both the internal exams. I got 75/100 in 1st internal and 71/100 in 2nd internal but still I messed it up in final exams.
Even the class topper was scratching his head during this exam.
Another thing to mention here is that I have decided to write my backlogs next sem as I had zero time this sem to prepare for backlogs.
This is when my biggest fear flared up.
What if I start to pile up even more backlogs, even if I put the hardwork.
What if I become one of those guys who are stuck with Anna University forever?
What if, even if I manage to clear all backlogs, it would be too late as all my friends from deemed and autonomous institutions would have developed skills and bagged jobs with high package?
I'm envious of my friends who got into IITs, NITs, SRM, Sastra and other autonomous institutions that follow AU syllabus.
Now, you all may say that if I had put hardwork, I could have got into it and my dad would have trusted me enough to let me go to Chennai or Coimbatore to pursue bachelors.
I'm not gonna blame my deteriorated mental health back then but, some of my old schoolmates, who scored way below than me in 12th managed to get into institutions like SRM.
My dad had wished to, he could have also sent me to SRM but, his ego has affected my career very badly.
All of my schoolmates at deemed institutions and autonomous institutions don't have any arrears and are actively working to develop skills required for employment. Many of them are doing projects, internships and freelancing, improving their CV.
I'm afraid I will be left behind. I'm afraid there wouldn't be any future for me.
I just wanna kill myself (sorry if I sound dramatic).
The only way to escape my abusive household is to get a good job but, what if I remain dependent on my parents for the rest of my life.
I often feel powerless and controlless about my own life. I'm tired of my life. Wish mom had aborted me.
I admit the fact that I wasn't very serious with my studies when I joined college but, isn't there anything to fix it? Am I doomed forever?
If I toil away all the hours for backlog prep, when will I have time for skill development?
I sometimes believe that Anna uni affliated colleges only create engineers on paper for name sake. Engineers with zero skills (I'm sorry if I sound stupid here but that's how it all seems to me) what do you all think?
Our college does have campus interviews but most of the companies that come here are start ups.
I don't wanna get into an unorganised startup.
After getting into my college and being part of my house, I know how it feels to be part of something so unorganised and chaotic. I can't do this anymore.
P.S: Sorry for the long rant. Please do shed your opinions.
Tdlr: Thinking of committing suicide cos I have unsupportive parents and backlogs

https://youtu.be/BqIWpsRzcY8 (Link to the song that inspired the story.) (Prompted by NextEstablishment856)
This is a bit darker than some of my other work.
TW (Suicide) The trigger warning is a bit of a spoiler, but I don't want anyone who might have trouble going into it unawares.
​
​
The red dress lay across my bed as if to herald my future. Around me, the other wives tittered into their sleeves, at least they hadn't been chosen. No, I was the Chosen, and the others would retire to their rooms for a night of rest. While I... I would put on the red dress.
The satin felt cool against my skin as I smoothed the dress down over my hips. It was forbidden to wear anything but the red dress when you were Chosen, but I had never been the kind of wife to follow the rules. No, I had opted for an undergarment, but one that would be difficult to detect. It only needed to do its job for a little while.
"You look beautiful." One of the other wives whispered as she dressed my hair for the evening to come. "I can't believe—"
I raised a hand cutting her off. I'd heard it all before, and said it myself. The murmured platitudes, the gentle commiseration, while all the time she was grateful she hadn't been chosen. Wordlessly, I pointed at the jewels I would wear that night, the shoes that glimmered black one second, deep red the next. When she'd finished, she stepped back, and I caught something I didn't expect. A tear hovered in the corner of her eye.
The kindness wrapped up in that single drop of liquid nearly took my courage. My spine weakened, and my knees felt loose, but with a deep breath, I rallied. Head held high, I walked through the halls, always descending, down to the ballroom, down to my husband. Down to my future.
Faces turned towards me as the steward announced my presence, and I entered, walking down the grand staircase. Not one face did I recognize; my husband would have been a fool to invite any of my friends this night. And if there was anything flattering I could say about the man, it was that he wasn't a fool.
"Darling. You look ravishing." He appeared at my side, hand outstretched to guide me across the floor. I nodded to him, barely dropping my chin, as a tremor racked my body. Gliding towards the center of the room, we turned, his free hand going around my waist. The music—which had dropped quieter as I entered—grew louder. We spun in time, the only couple dancing, as the musicians coaxed voices from their instruments.
"Do you wish to know why I chose you?" Even while dancing nothing seemed out of place on my husband, not a strand of hair so much as dared to move. How I hated him! I opened my mouth to curse him, as I had never been able to do, but a fit of coughing racked my body.
"Breathe darling, instead of answering. Coughing does not become you. I will tell you anyway." We twirled as a single violin rose above the rest, seeming to dance with us. "Perhaps you think, it is because you are rebellious. You have a mind that is not easily broken, indeed, I believe I have failed in breaking you. Except, of course, tonight shall change all that." He smiled, the white teeth that I had seen so many times tear and rend into raw flesh gleaming in the light of a thousand candles.
"Then why?" My voice rasped in my throat, and I could feel my limbs going weaker. I leaned a little more into my husband, hoping he wouldn't notice. The music rose in intensity, as if it could sense what was coming.
"Because, darling. Simply because, I can." The grin widened into laughter, that mingled with the voices that seemed to come from all sides. Music pounded into my ears, as my grip on my husband tightened, though the muscles were weak. I swallowed, trying to stop the saliva that flooded my mouth from escaping.
"Darling—" The questioning tone broke as my head dropped back, and I lost control of my lower limbs. I sagged in his arms, no longer able to keep time with the furious music.
"What, what is wrong with you?" His hands ran down over the dress, eyes going wide as he felt the slip I wore underneath. The slip that I'd prepared especially for when I was Chosen.
"What have you done?" He hissed. Through eyes that were fast dimming, the candles growing dull in their view, I looked up at him, enjoying the lassitude that spread through my limbs.
"I have taken myself beyond your reach, beyond your unholy desires, beyond the suffering you have inflicted on all of us wives." I coughed, feeling blood fill my mouth. "And do you want to know why?" He growled in response, anger taking over that perfect face, and I saw with a spark of satisfaction that one piece of hair had fallen awry. More people filled my vision, and I summoned all my remaining strength to make my voice loud.
"Because, I can."
And with the sound of my own voice ringing with the final chord of the instruments, darkness took me away forever, leaving me and the red dress lying still as death on the ballroom floor.

Me (F26) am feeling like I need to reassess what work means to me. I've always had a very idealistic view on work - it should pay the bills, align with my values, be creative etc. I've been trying to find a career that would cover many of my interests but as a multi-fascinated person that feels nearly impossible. So I am "stuck" in a job that covers none.. What does work mean to you? Do you do "passion projects" on the side? Or do you put most of your passion and energy into your day job? I just feel my time is to valuable to spend it on a job that is just "meh"

Hi all, 'm a woman (32y) who is dating a guy 30(M) since past 1 year. I'm also a single mom and I have met this guy via a dating app. He was really nice, caring, romantic and thoughtful until 2 months back. We both have really hectic schedules but still use to talk everyday or atleast text if the day was really crazy. But now he hardly texts me. He never calls me even on the days I feel really low. Even his texts have become very dry if contact him first.
He has somewhere stopped checking on me, never wishes me on my milestones. It has been 2 months since we met last. Last to last week we were supposed to meet up on weekend but he completely forgot about our date. That entire week he didn't text me Or reply to me. Only on weekend he was like oh shit, I had a very big project etc. I broke up with him but later he begged for another chance. I made it very clear that our scheduled dates are non negiotable and he was like yes I will make an effort blah blah.
I have recently started with a new job just near his office and so I thought it will be a good opportunity to catch up with him and he was like ok. We were supposed to meet yesterday but again he didn't came to work. And never informed me either that he is not coming today. Only when I checked on him like when are we meeting etc he informed me that he is unwell and let's meet tomorrow. I was like ok tc and let's meet tomorrow then. Today also the same thing happened, when I checked on him he told me that he was not sure that if we are meeting today and he has gym etc.
So I'm utterly confused here. I don't know whether I'm coming across as v desperate and needy in this situation when the person has clearly lost interest in me. I also suffer from severe anxiety and I'm an empath at the same time. My mental health has deteoriatated alot. I'm not understanding why is he behaving like this. Please help me with your POV 🙏

Hello,
This is my 2nd year kayaking (white water, not still water) though only went out a hand full of times but took a class at Wilderness Voyageurs last year myself.
Our Experience
My girlfriend just went for the first time Saturday but I took her to get professional instruction up in Ohiopyle PA and did a great deal of hitting eddies, peeling out, and just the basics and we both took the opportunity to the run the loop with a guide at the end of the 2nd day. We had Josh as an instructor btw, he was mine last year and is super amazing! Highly skilled dude and super funny.
Dunno what happened to me in the loop this time because I flipped twice (instructor said I was sweeping too much and hard and causing my boat to catch) but I have a roll down so I was able to get back up both times without issue or hesitation.
My girlfriend did amazing though, she hit the all rapids in the loop (up to class 3) like a champ and didn't flip once though she did get lucky and nearly missed a line. She attempted rolling a few times at the beginning and end but she's still working on them and hasn't performed a full one yet though she only tried on her own once. I'm going to take her to a pool a few times in the next few weeks to get develop her roll and do some small stuff here in Ohio.
What we're looking for
Looking for a class I-II with some III rapids and good information on them. It would just be us two, and I don't have a rope bag but can get one and do some reading on how to properly use one as we've been given the warning that they can be very dangerous if used improperly. I think for experience it would be best to go with someone else but I don't see any guided services down there that isn't for rafting.
Currently eyeing the Little Pigeon, from Highway 73 to Richardson Cove which is number 4.
Safety Concerns
Would it be "safe" for us to go on this river (Little pigeon Class I-III section) in July with just basic scouting the level 3 spots and our experience? I'm not sure if the danger with inexperienced people who buy kayaks and send it down the river without any knowledge of even how to pull out of eddies and lack of proper gear or if it's people like us who take a class and send it down rivers by themselves. I likely will get her rolling before and with some experience rolling in a surf spot so ideally she should be able to roll to avoid swimming.

I (17M) usually hang out with a girl in my class, outside the reception at the waiting area which is near the exit gate, after my usual classes everyday. I use my own vehicle she on the other hand uses public transport to reach home.
The receptionist today scolded me for not leaving the campus and instead waiting with her for her public transport to arrive, the school at nowhere suggests that the students that are using self transport to leave just after the classes get finished, moreover there are a lot more people other than us who also do not immediately leave the campus + the parking is really poor with limited space, vehicles stacked together in a place and you often need to wait for other people who have parked in front of you to leave so that you can get your vehicle out of there.
They targeted us because the people of south asia, are narrow minded and cannot accept 2 opposite genders hanging out w each other, they would harass us, talk with us in unprofessional tone, disrespect us and force us to wait only inside the reception when there are almost all the people waiting outside the reception near the exit.
what should be my course of action, are there any legal ways to approach this situation? what can i do to make sure i am not harassed by these receptionists and talk with my classmate as per my wish. i would really appreciate it if someone could advise me.

So, I grew up in a lower middle class family and didn't have good access to dental/oral care. Now I'm an adult who earns a somewhat liveable wage for themselves. How much does dental rehabilitation cost in the PH? Preferably Manila rates. I have 3 rotten/cracked teeth and 1 missing tooth near front. It's made me lose my confidences, TBH. So I want to have this fixed, but I don't want to come to the dentist unprepared.

I have a 10 year old neutered male golden retrievepit mix. 3 weeks ago he yawned and I noticed a mass on the roof of his mouth toward the back near his airway. It’s about the size of a grape. It seems to be relatively fast growing as he had a dental in January and nobody said anything about it being there then. I want it removed ASAP due to the location and the fact that it seems to be growing quickly.
We went to his primary care vet this week and they did an oral exam and basically said “yup gotta get that removed” and we did blood work and got him scheduled for surgery in mid-July (nothing sooner). Bloodwork was unremarkable and we didn’t do any imaging. They didn’t sample it or anything but expressed concern about removing it all because of how wide the attachment is and they weren’t sure they’d be able to get good margins and still be able to close it.
I started calling around to see if anyone could get him in sooner and I found a board certified surgeon who can get him in the same week my vet offered. They were incredibly knowledgeable and even just from one phone call they asked me so many questions and got way more in depth than our primary. I know their practice is better suited to get the whole thing out. However, then I got a call from my primary who said they had a cancellation and can get my dog in next week for surgery. I have NO complaints about my vet, they are really good but they are a general practice and not specialized…I actually was a vet tech there before leaving the field.
My question is: should I wait for July and go with the boarded surgeon? Or should I take the sooner appointment? I’m not super concerned about money although it is something I’ve thought about… the boarded surgeon is going to be much more expensive…but I just want the best outcome for my dog. I don’t know if waiting and risking more growth or if taking it out earlier and risking not getting it all is the better choice.
I will say that the mass is not bothering him at all. He’s eating, has good energy and is playing like normal. It does occasionally get irritated and bleed a tiny bit but nothing crazy. I took away his hard chew toys just to be safe.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Let me know if I left out any information that would be helpful. Thank you!!!

I opened myself up to you,
Took you inside me
And cradled you.
You seemed comfortable there.
But little did I know,
You were there only to
Feed yourself.
You took what you needed,
Toying with me in a twisted game of
Cat and mouse.
And when you decided you had enough
You just threw me away;
A forgotten broken doll.
I have so much love to show you,
To give you.
But you never wanted it.
I knew when you stopped asking to see
My naturally plump lips
Painted a glossy red, black, pink, or purple,
And my long black hair done
In voluminous curls and waves,
That the end was near.
You grew bored of your favorite pieces of me,
I know.
Or perhaps,
Those pieces of me I thought you liked
Were just something for you
To laugh at.
You ignored the hints I dropped,
Cluing you in on my feelings for you.
You paid no mind to my need to feel
Close to you.
You canceled every date
With me.
You still fed me breadcrumbs,
To keep me happily and obliviously
Strung along.
I wanted you to know that
I fell for you,
And yet,
I don’t want you to know
Because I knew you would
Never love me.

Hi,
I want better wifi in front of my house. I have a POE ethernet cable in the attic but can't figure what AP to buy. I have a spare AC LITE from ubiquiti but don't mind a cheap new AP.
I have an omada wall wifi on the ground floor (but its got 500mm of thick stone wall in front of it - great living room reception though!) and two AC LITEs (ground anf first floor) in the house.
The attic about 7m off the ground and looks onto the street. The road is straight too. The AP will be on the attic floor near the front of the house.
I want to put this in my attic (not mounted outside, slate roof shouldn't reduce DBm much?) and then be able to have good wifi for about 20-30m in the road (at 7m height from AP)
What should I buy from either ubiquiti or omada POE range to make this work.
Silly but i'm curious how to choose the right product
​
EDIT: send me links to good antennae design courses so i can figure this out myself if that exists. I'm a graduate engineer so surely it can't be that hard....

My old shin guards from Twins broke.
The twins shin guards here cost like the fee of my gym that includes 5 lessons a week for 1 month. I really cannot afford new quality shin guards at the moment, especially if I want to keep attending 5 classes a week.
I have seen these:
https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/adult-kickboxing-shin-and-foot-guard-100-ergo/_/R-p-327026?mc=968504
Since they are not the sock-like type, I think they should be a little bit better than those fabric socks guards, you know, with a little more padding and such… but since I’m not sure, I was wondering if anyone has ever tried/seen these.
Unfortunately, they are not available in the decathlons near me, I’ll have to order online, so I can’t see them before buying.
Any help or suggestion will be immensely appreciated!
Thank you in advance.

My old shin guards from Twins broke.
The twins shin guards here cost like the fee of my gym that includes 5 lessons a week for 1 month. I really cannot afford new quality shin guards at the moment, especially if I want to keep attending 5 classes a week.
I have seen these:
https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/adult-kickboxing-shin-and-foot-guard-100-ergo/_/R-p-327026?mc=968504
Since they are not the sock-like type, I think they should be a little bit better than those fabric socks guards, you know, with a little more padding and such… but since I’m not sure, I was wondering if anyone has ever tried/seen these.
Unfortunately, they are not available in the decathlons near me, I’ll have to order online, so I can’t see them before buying.
Any help or suggestion will be immensely appreciated!
Thank you in advance.

I've been at my job for less than a year. Apparently I've developed a bit of a crush on a colleague of mine and I don't know why. I'm very certain he wouldn't be into me. The way he interacts with me and two other female colleagues of mine is very different. I feel like he's just polite to me but that's it so I absolutely do not want to go through the motions of having a stupid crush on a guy I have no chance with.
However I've found myself sometimes looking out for if he's in the office or not, hoping he'll have lunch when I do and making sure I look decent with natural makeup, etc. I've also felt a bit sad/jealous if he doesn't speak to me or is excitedly chatting away with the 2 aforementioned colleagues. I really hate feeling this way. I don't really get crushes on people. Especially people not even in my reach. Yes, he's handsome. Yes, he's very nice. He's not completely my type and I doubt we'd even be compatible and yet still I apparently like him. I'm trying to ensure any enhancements to my appearance are for myself and happen whether he's in the office or not. I'm also trying to not be too eager to talk to him, only leave it to when we run into each other and have the same level of polite conversation I have with most people. What I don't want is the bits of joy he's talking to me (ugh wtf) or the little sadness if he doesn't say hello.
Any tips for getting over a crush? Should I completely limit interaction with him? He works on the other side of the office to me which is unfortunately right near the open kitchen but mostly I can avoid him.

Hi! I'm looking for advise about this camera. I'm a beginner, and am finding the controls difficult to navigate. For example, when attempting to shoot traffic trails, the only way to adjust the shutter is to go into scenes mode. With this, nearly all the shots were blown out. I like the camera because of the ergonomics, it's small and light weight. But as far as adjusting the settings, it is awkward for me. Any info will be most welcome.

this story is gonna be a compilation of many tiny details that may have led up to this. im gonna start the biggest reason: my past. i never wanted to tell my bf in the beginning about anyone or my experiences. the truth is my freshman year of college was horribly traumatizing bc of the multiple instances of assault and aggression i received from men in my area and in my university. i often times blamed myself because it seemed so impossible to get into these situations so often with me being a common factor. anyways, i swore i would never tell anyone. i come from a very traditional background and me telling my family about these things would end with them labeling me as used and shameless. fast forward after nearly a year alone, i meet my current bf at my university's gym as well as hinge, which i barely used at the time. we quickly hit it off and he became the first guy who i felt genuinely respected me and was in it for the right reasons but i could always tell he had a confidence issue and loads of insecurities. (for example, he rescheduled our first date 3 times because he felt that he just couldnt talk to women). i made him feel comfortable and he quickly got past that and became comfortable with me. we became inseparable. however, he'd subtly ask about my past and keep pestering at it until i gave him the full answer. i lied. i didn't want anyone to know about what happened so i just labeled my past as failed situationships that were consensual but ones i regret bc i learned and it brought me to him. turns out he was very very disturbed about this. i created a story that wasnt true and it bothered him a lot. we got into a lot of fights as time passed and one day i broke because i couldnt take it anymore and i told him the truth which he was shocked to hear. now, its has resulted in incredible trust issues. he starts bringing up how i check out guys at the gym, which i honestly do not remember doing so and if i commented about someone else being attractive, it was always me just agreeing with a friend because i did not know that this was abnormal in a relationship. even my parents jokingly tease each other and are comfortable with pointing out people who are to them, objectively or conventionally attractive. even so, i know i should have been more sensitive and aware of his feelings and insecurities. i feel horrible for it. but no amount of apology stops him from bringing it back to "how can i trust you werent lying about the past too." we are long distance right now which is making this even harder. a lot has happened---my mom calling his discussing how we call each other too much and how it always leads in a fight that my bf usually brings up. his moms response was point blank that i am the problem, that i am ruining his life being a distraction, and how i def have character issues because i have a bf in college and that i live far from home because of it...even though a relationship is a two way street. she even went so far as to body shame me to my parents' face. im in a really tough spot because i know my bf's mom fills his ear with negativity and has been doing so her whole life. she hates the idea he has another woman in his life and gets incredibly upset knowing hes gonna get married one day and leave her. his parents put so much pressure on him for academics to the point where theyll use beating and hours of verbal attacks to "put him in his place." anyways, alot of dramatic things have happened. i feel stressed all the time. he keeps bringing up little instances of proof that i dont love him enough because of how i liked a guys tattoo or my eyes momentarily met with someone at the gym. or how i expected him to buy me things. i know expecting someone to financially invest in u is a red flag. it just confused me how hed be showering me with presents in the beginning and now he doesnt. which is why i brought it up. to him he sees it as me being insensitive to his family's financial condition. it was never my intention to hurt him, ive said sorry, ive felt guilty but he continues to cuss me out everyday and say hurtful things because of how hurt he has been. in the next hour hes back to normal, with his happy self. sometimes hes incredibly sad because he doenst believe how someone like me could love him. im so confused and lost. How do i make it so that i bring more stability, reassurance, and trust back into our life. Is this even worth salvaging?

I have been with my husband for nearly 10 years, married for 6. We have 1 child together.
My husband is a wonderful person. He is extremely thoughtful, sensitive, smart and warm. He has a wonderful way about him. He has a very gentle and quiet manner. The people he cares for at work adore him, my family loves him, and he is a fantastic father.
The problem occurs when we get in arguments. This doesn’t happen frequently - maybe 1-3 times a year. Most recently, he got angry with how I handled a situation between us. He had every right to be upset, my behavior was somewhat manipulative. During our argument he told me to go f myself (amongst other things) and ended up throwing a clean diaper at me. This has happened before where he will throw a light object at me (clean laundry, kitchen towel) when he is upset. I’m hesitant to even use the word ‘angry’ as he rarely raises his voice, if ever. But the language he uses would certainly suggest anger.
The next day I told him that this behavior and verbal abuse are unacceptable and he needs to seek help with regulating his emotions. He was apologetic and said it would not happen again, but he was extremely resistant to seeking help. He said I was blowing this out of proportion and denied that this could be defined as verbal abuse. I told him he is downplaying this and suggested even seeking out an online resource. He said he would start practicing mindfulness again but it was clear he was just trying to sweep this under the rug. We have had this conversation once before where he promised he would stop swearing at me and throwing things at me. This clearly was not effective.
I know how this sounds, but I am hoping that I was able to convey how wonderful of a person he is. I’ve seen the common Reddit responses to situations like this - ‘divorce’, ‘throw the whole man away’. But I don’t want to divorce him, I want to build a life together. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Any advice on how to proceed?

I have a lot of trauma growing up from CSA but I have been dealing with it through therapy and just living life to the best of my abilities. Meaning for the past 3 years, I promised myself not to invalidate my feelings anymore, to listen to my gut and to protect myself. Yesterday, I was followed by this guy for three blocks. I knew he was following me but I thought he wouldn't really do anything in broad daylight and besides I was near my accommodations already. He suddenly ran and grabbed me by my shoulders, I fought him and ran away. I reached an area where there were 3 students just standing about and asked them for help. At this point, he was still following us while they walked with me to the dorm and I reported it to the university police. I filed a police report but today, I was informed that since nothing 'bad' happened, they couldn't really do anything about it. They had to let the guy go. I didn't think that I would feel this intense shame from their dismissal. All I could hear in my head right now is "You overreacted," that "it was nothing, it was all in your head, it was your trauma" that he didn't mean any harm. I asked the university to post a warning to students since this guy is just roaming in our campus but again, they told me that they already informed the authorities. I supposed despite doing everything 'right' this time, it still didn't amount to anything. I don't know how to get rid of these feelings, how to make everything right again in my head. I'm scared that it's gonna pull me back again and even this feels like an overreaction. How do I get back from this? Please help.