I'm playing a Half-Elf Red Draconic Sorcerer in a West Marches campaign. (We homebrewed additional known spells for the older sorc subclasses like Clockwork Soul and Aberrant Mind have, so it doesn't suck). This campaign will go all the way to level 20, and I'll be able to continue playing this character at level 20 for quite some time.
I've achieved the peak of fullcaster-ing, reaching level 17 and taking Wish. Now, looking ahead to my remaining Sorcerer levels, it's... kind of underwhelming?
Level 18 Draconic Bloodline. Spend 5 sorc points to Frighten or Charm in a 60ft aura for a minute. Requires Concentration. Neat flavor, but plenty of spells or low level class features do the same thing. Pretty useless in combat by this level, too. Everything important is immune to Frighten and Charm.
Level 19 ASI/Feat. My Charisma is already 20, and I'm rocking plenty of HP for a backliner with 14 Con and the Draconic extra HP. I have Elemental Adept, Fey Touched, and Inspiring Leader already. The main thing I could use is Advantage on Concentration saves via Warcaster, but I wouldn't use anything else from Warcaster.
Level 20 Sorc. Regain 4 expended sorc points on a short rest. Our campaign has two homebrew rules that are important to understand for this: firstly, a variant Gritty Realism where Long Rests only take place at the home base between sessions, and short rests take 8 hours during a session. Basically, we get one Long Rest before a session, 5+ Short Rests on our way to whatever mission we're doing, and usually a handful of Short Rests between encounters. The second homebrew rule is that we allow spell scumming up to a max of one extra spell slot per level. I.e., having 4/3 4th level spell slots. That means between a Bloodwell Vial and a Pearl of Power, I top up on sorc points and spell scumming pretty easily. I don't think I've ever fully run out of sorc points. So, sure, this feature is useful and allows even faster spell scumming, but I don't need it.
The only other things I'd miss out on are 3 more sorc points, and more importantly, extra spell slots if I don't do a fullcaster.
Basically, all of these features are pretty replaceable. Flavorful feacharm aura, being better at concentration, and spell slot recharge. So I'm wondering if a multiclass would be better and more fun. Here are some ideas I've had:
Eloquence Bard: Throw around some Bardics for pre-combat buffs or out of combat skill checks. Grab some buff spells and upcast them freely. Jack of All Trades is great to jump into when my proficiency bonus already +6. Get Expertise in Persuasion and Deception and be unable to roll below a 27. This is incredibly powerful with our Downtime system and very flavorful. The downside is it doesn't give any spellslot recharge or help with Concentration.
Stars Druid: Prepared caster so I can fill the gaps in the party (since party comp varies in a West Marches). Mostly I'd be taking this for Starry Form: Dragon to help with Concentration. I'd only need two levels, so I could go to 3 for the 2nd level Druid spells; take a 1 level dip like Cleric; or just go to 18 Sorc. The downside is that my Wisdom is only a 12 right now, so I'd have to use my once-per-character build change to shift around my stats
Fighter: Action Surge. Break the action economy even further. That's pretty much it. Pick up Blind Fighting for dragon flavor. Probably take another fullcaster level for the 5th level spellslot, or choose a subclass. The downside is missing out on more 6th and 7th level spell slots. It makes it a "One Big Turn" build and not as sustainable through longer fights. Also no help with concentration.
Warlock: Perhaps Archfey for a similar feacharm aura. Pact of the Tome to pick up Guidance and some fun cantrips. Jump right into having four Eldritch Blasts and +5 Charisma, take Eldritch Mind for advantage on Concentration saves. Short rest spell slots means even more spell scumming. This is perfect, except for the fact that Warlocks aren't actually fullcasters and I miss out on those extra spell slots.
I'm sure there's stuff that could be done with frontloaded Cleric subclasses or an Evocation Wizard, too.
All of these would be flavorful and make sense in-character. This character has a lot going on, having been played for over a year in an active West Marches server with many characters. He's good friends with Bards, Fighters, Wizards, and Druids. He's exploring his Fey heritage as a half-elf and there's a lot of fey bullshit going on in the plot. He worships Tiamat in a perfectly wholesome, good-aligned, 'give me more fire to burn the wicked' way.
Basically, I have a lot of cool options and I have no idea what to pick. Any thoughts and suggestions? To break down my priorities to bullet points, I want to be...
-Good at skills. (Skill checks are important in our system)
-Better at Concentration
-Generally a terrifying force of nature with lots of resources and spells.
The first two may be mutually exclusive.
Ideally, I don't want to spend my once-per-campaign build change to shift around stats for multiclassing. My current array is 10/14/14/8/12/20
I'm leaning towards Eloquence Bard or Warlock right now.
Thanks in advance! High level 5e is wild.

Imagine that from three years old you were sexually molested by several family members, uncles, cousins, and your stepfather. Then, you are forced to leave your mother and live with your father, that you never had a relationship with, and he starts to beat you. You know no one, you have no friends, you don't speak English, and you feel broken and alone. Who do you trust? What becomes your perception of love? What would you do? Ill tell you what you'll do... you'll run, and you'll run right into the arms of an abuser, that initially treats you like a queen. That promises you a better life, that promises to love you, to take care of you and not let anyone hurt you. And you believe it. Because this man, even though you are 12 years old and he is in his late 30's, has treated you better than anyone in your life. So, you do whatever he says, and what he says is that at 12 you will start to work in the strip clubs, you will strip, and you will have sex with several adult men every night for months. You will be drugged, forced to drink, and forced to engage in sexual acts you didn't even know existed. But still, you believe he loves you; you will believe this 30 some year­ old man is your boyfriend and your protector, and you will do whatever he says. Imagine that was you, or your daughter, your niece, your son, your friend, your co-worker. How do we expect them to lead a healthy productive life after this? This story is real and is one of the many I have heard during my years of working with juvenile victims of human trafficking. Far too often when we look at a juvenile similar to the one, I just described, prior to the law enforcement identifying her as a victim, this child was a "just." She was "just into older guys" "Just too promiscuous" "just a child that didn't listen to her parents" that "just didn't follow rules" and "just a drug addict." She was just none of those things, in fact she was an abused child that made the perfect victim. Traffickers prey on children just like this one, they seek out the vulnerable, the ones that have been abused prior, who may not speak English well, who may have mental illnesses or other delays, and who they know they can gain control over. Now imagine that this 12-year-old, never gets help, she never receives treatment and is never identified as what she truly is, a victim. This world becomes all she knows, this is how she survives, this is how she makes her money, how she has shelter over her head some nights, how some nights she is able to eat, and take a shower. And she then eventually moves on, and a new trafficker picks her up, this one is more abusive, this one threatens her with a gun, and makes sure she knows this is not a choice. She spends her 21st birthday at the Mote 6 as he controls her with the drugs, he forces her to do, he shoots her up with heroine and forces her into withdrawals when she doesn't make her quota. He has the control, maybe she forgets for a second, so he brands her with his name across her neck to remind her of who she belongs to, this world, and him. And she believes this, she believes this is her life, all she will ever have, and she has no way out. These women and men and children, build their survival tool kit, their skills that keep them alive. They use drugs to numb the pain, just like we use Tylenol to numb ours, they steal so they can eat, they lie so they don't go to jail, and they manipulate, just like they have been manipulated, but these skills, these skills keep them alive.
So I'll ask again, how do we expect them to live a normal life? When we see a woman in sexualized clothing on the street, or a drug addict on the side of the road, or someone begging for money, what are our first thoughts? They should get a job, it's not your fault they are drug addicts, this is their fault...
But really, who's fault, is it? The three-year-old that was raped as a child, beaten by her father, and trafficked by an adult? These victims have been cut off from all resources to get the help they desperately need. Currently I have 17 children victims from the state of VA, that all have similar stories, and there are so many unidentified victims out there that need our help. And that is often the most difficult part. They don't know they need our help because they don't know they are victims. They believe they are in love, this is their boyfriend, their husband, and they are trained to remain loyal and distrust us. When law enforcement and victim advocates make attempts, we are not always successful, there is such a high recidivism rate, because of the level of trauma. When we are able to reach a victim, the road ahead is long and hard. I didn't even know I needed Safe Harbor, or that Safe Harbor needed me until January of this year. Cathy came to me and asked me to work for Safe Harbor and my exact words were "I don't do adults; I only work with children." At that time, I was looking for a new position but didn't want to abandon the juvenile victims I had been working with for the last two years. Cathy told me that I could continue my services at Safe.H_arbor with all of my girls. That day was the start of my new journey, my new journey with adults, and Safe Harbor's new journey with juvenile victims. Safe Harbor provides so many needed services to these victims on their journey to survivors. These victims need to learn how to reenter society, how to gain job skills, and employment, learn to socialize, they need to continue their education, they need basic medical treatment they were never allowed to have, routine dental check-ups. They need our counseling department that teaches them coping skills, that help them learn how to identify abuse. They need our court advocacy program that supports them in scary situations, so they do not feel alone. They need our volunteers who give their time, and areas of expertise, they need every staff member that contributes to their survival, and they desperately need you. Your support helps them to celebrate their successes, have food to feed their families, toiletries, and culturally appropriate hygiene products, participate in social activities in the community, get a new outfit for a job interview, become a healthy mother, learn new skills, and put them on a path to transform their lives and allow them to be proud of the women they become. Your support ensure that Safe Harbor remains available for all who seek our help.
The sell of our women, men and children is the number 2 money making crime in world. It has surpassed the sell of illegal weapons, and only the sell of illegal drugs brings in more money. These criminals are making money off our wives, our nieces/nephews, our daughters and sons, our future...... I will never claim to be a hero, nor do I feel like one, but I do hope that I play some role in as many victims lives as I can, so that they become survivors, and today I hope you pay a role as well and support.

There are two problems. First is whenever I try to fast travel to the triangle between Durable Dunn's Sacked caravan, Raul's shack and Vault 34 game crashes. Second is whenever I fight any turret that is connected to a ceiling game crashes.
There is a modlist.
#Mod_Priority,#Mod_Status,#Mod_Name,#Mod_Version
"0000","+","DLC: TribalPack",""
"0001","+","DLC: OldWorldBlues",""
"0002","+","DLC: MercenaryPack",""
"0003","+","DLC: LonesomeRoad",""
"0004","+","DLC: HonestHearts",""
"0005","+","DLC: GunRunnersArsenal",""
"0006","+","DLC: DeadMoney",""
"0007","+","DLC: ClassicPack",""
"0008","+","DLC: CaravanPack",""
"0009","-","Utilities_separator",""
"0010","+","Fixed ESMs",""
"0011","+","JIP LN NVSE Plugin","f57.01"
"0012","+","JohnnyGuitar NVSE","4.93.0.0"
"0013","+","Crash Logger","3.0.0.0"
"0014","+","NVTF - New Vegas Tick Fix","10.2.2.3"
"0015","+","NVTF - INI Presets","10.2.2.2"
"0016","+","FNV Mod Limit Fix","3.0.0.0"
"0017","+","kNVSE Animation Plugin","20.0.0.0"
"0018","+","Console Paste Support","1.0.0.0"
"0019","+","ShowOff xNVSE Plugin","1.60.0.0"
"0020","+","ShowOff xNVSE Plugin INI","--"
"0021","+","JIP Companions Command and Control","2.60.0.0"
"0022","+","JIP CCC HD icons","1.0.0.0"
"0023","+","SUP NVSE","8.35.0.0"
"0024","-","Bug Fixes_separator",""
"0025","+","Yukichigai Unofficial Patch - YUP","12.6.0.0"
"0026","+","Unofficial Patch NVSE Plus","1.4.4.0"
"0027","+","Improved AI (Navmesh Overhaul Mod)","2.0.0.0"
"0028","+","lStewieAl's Tweaks and Engine Fixes","8.65.0.0"
"0029","+","Stewie Tweaks Essentials INI","f1.05"
"0030","+","Presets for LstewieAL's Tweaks","5.0.0.0"
"0031","+","Combat Lag Fix (NVSE)","1.0.0.0"
"0032","+","ISControl Enabler and Ironsights adjuster (now ESPless)","1.4.0.0"
"0033","+","Vanilla Iron Sights Realligned","1.1.0.0"
"0034","+","New Vegas Mesh Improvement Mod - NVMIM","1.10.0.0"
"0035","+","Collision Meshes","1.6.3.0"
"0036","+","Asterra's Many Fixes","1.16.0.0b"
"0037","+","Improved Lighting Shaders","1.5.0.0b4a"
"0038","+","Climate Control NVSE","1.0.0.0"
"0039","+","Elijah Voice Audio Files Fix","0.2.0.0"
"0040","+","ActorCause Save Bloat Fix","1.0.0.0"
"0041","+","Aqua Performa - Strip Performance Fix","1.0.0.0"
"0042","+","Fog-based Object Culling","2.0.0.0"
"0043","+","Exterior Emittance Fix - NVSE","1.1.0.0"
"0044","+","Crafting Consistency Fix","1.1.1.0"
"0045","+","ExRB - Extended Roombounds","1.4.0.0"
"0046","+","Strip Lights Region Fix","1.3.0.0"
"0047","+","Johnson Nash Ammo Fix","1.0.0.0"
"0048","-","User Interface_separator",""
"0049","+","UIO - User Interface Organizer","2.30.0.0"
"0050","+","One HUD - oHUD","1.2.1.0"
"0051","+","The Mod Configuration Menu","1.5.0.0"
"0052","+","Vanilla UI Plus (New Vegas)","9.48.0.0"
"0053","+","Clean Vanilla Hud","0.59.0.0b"
"0054","+","Consistent Pip-Boy Icons","4.4.0.0"
"0055","+","Consistent Addon Icons","4.0.0.0"
"0056","+","Clean Companion Wheel","0.9.0.0"
"0057","+","High Res Local Maps","1.2.0.0"
"0058","+","High Resolution Screens","1.1.0.0"
"0059","+","yUI - User Ynterface","1.4.0.0d"
"0060","+","Simple Cursor (YUI)","0.1.0.0"
"0061","+","ySI - Sorting Ycons","1.4.0.0b"
"0062","-","Gameplay_separator",""
"0063","+","JAM - Just Assorted Mods","4.4.0.0"
"0064","+","Bullet Time Improved - a JAM addon","f1.01"
"0065","+","NPCs Sprint In Combat","2.13.0.0"
"0066","+","Real Recoil","1.2.1.0"
"0067","+","Real Recoil Tweaks","1.0.0.0"
"0068","+","Follower Tweaks","1.0.0.0"
"0069","+","Delay DLC Redux","1.5.0.0"
"0070","+","NV Collectibles - Merged","1.0.0.0"
"0071","+","Better Caravan","1.0.0.0"
"0072","+","Soft-Lock Aim-Assist","1.1.0.0"
"0073","+","FOV Slider","2.9.0.0"
"0074","+","NAWEMO - NPCs use Ammo Variants and Weapon Mods","1.3.3.0"
"0075","+","NPCs use Aid items","2.3.0.0"
"0076","+","Martialize","0.6.0.0"
"0077","+","Consistent Spread - Firearms Accuracy and Wobble Fix","1.1.0.0"
"0078","+","BallistX - Internal and External Ballistics","5.0.0.0"
"0079","+","B42 Inspect - aka Animated Ammo and Weapon Condition Checking","f1.01-hotfix"
"0080","+","B42 Melee Bash","0.5.0.0b"
"0081","+","B42 Quickthrow - an alternative grenade hotkey mod","3.1.0.0b"
"0082","+","Quickthrow Stylized HUD Icons","1.1.0.0"
"0083","+","B42 Descriptions aka Pip-Info","0.3.0.0"
"0084","-","Overhauls_separator",""
"0085","+","JSawyer Ultimate Edition","5.5.1.0"
"0086","+","JSawyer Ultimate Edition - Push's Tweaks","5.5.0.0"
"0087","+","Mojave Arsenal","3.0.8.0"
"0088","+","Famine - A Loot Rarity Mod","1.3.0.0"
"0089","+","Food Effect Tweaks - Custom Food Healing","1.0.0.0"
"0090","+","Player Combat Priority","1.0.2.0"
"0091","+","Player Combat Priority Alt Chance To Attack Dog Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0092","+","Essential Vanilla Enhancements Merged","1.3.2.0"
"0093","+","Essential Vanilla Enhancements Merged - JSawyer Ultimate Push Tweaks Patch","1.3.2.0"
"0094","+","EVEM - YUP Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0095","+","EVEM - Crafting Consistency Fix Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0096","+","EVEM - JSUE Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0097","+","EVEM - Mojave Arsenal Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0098","+","Navmesh Overhaul VNV Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0099","+","Better Character Creation","1.0.0.0"
"0100","+","Harder Barter Faster Stronger","f1.01"
"0101","+","Economy Overhaul","3.0.4.0"
"0102","+","Economy Overhaul - FO3E INI","3.0.0.0"
"0103","+","Better Brotherhood","2.1.0.0c"
"0104","+","DEC - Dynamic Essential Companions","1.1.0.0"
"0105","+","Immersive Critical Effects (AKA Classic Critical Effects)","f1.06a"
"0106","+","Radioactive Muck","1.0.0.0"
"0107","+","Canvas Backpacks - FNV - TTW","2.0.0.0"
"0108","+","Accessible Lucky shades","1.1.0.0"
"0109","-","Content_separator",""
"0110","+","Uncut Wasteland","1.0.0.0"
"0111","+","Strip Lights Region Fix - Uncut Wasteland","Patch"
"0112","+","Essential DLC Enhancements Merged","1.3.2.0"
"0113","+","Essential DLC Enhancements Merged - JSUE Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0114","+","Mojave Raiders","1.2.3.0"
"0115","+","Mojave Raiders Tweaks","1.0.0.0"
"0116","+","Mojave Raiders - JSUE Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0117","+","Mojave Raiders - EVEM Patch","1.0.0.0"
"0118","+","Mojave Wildlife","1.1.0.0"
"0119","+","The Living Desert - Travelers Patrols Consequences Increased Population and more","2.3.0.0"
"0120","+","Simple Open Strip","1.8.0.0"
"0121","+","Simple Open Freeside","1.7.0.0"
"0122","+","Mojave NPCs","1.6.5.0"
"0123","+","Mojave NPCs - FPGE Patch","1.6.4.0"
"0124","+","Cook-Cook In His Castle","1.2.0.0"
"0125","+","Functional Post Game Ending","5.6.5.0"
"0126","+","FPGE Patch - JSawyer Ultimate","1.0.0.0"
"0127","+","FPGE Patch - Uncut Wasteland (Viva New Vegas)","1.0.0.0"
"0128","+","FPGE Patch - Mojave Raiders","1.4.0.0"
"0129","+","FPGE Patch - Simple Open Strip","1.0.0.0"
"0130","+","FPGE Patch - Simple Open Freeside","1.0.0.0"
"0131","+","FPGE Patch - Cook-Cook In His Castle","1.0.0.0"
"0132","+","Mojave Express Courier Delivery Work - Primm","2.4.0.0"
"0133","+","No Toll Booths for Mojave Express Courier Delivery Work","1.0.0.0"
"0134","+","The Someguy Series","2.0.0.0"
"0135","+","New Vegas Bounties I","1.55.0.0"
"0136","+","New Vegas Bounties II","1.47.0.0"
"0137","+","New Vegas Bounties III",".954"
"0138","+","The Inheritance","1.29.0.0"
"0139","+","King of the Ring","f1.04"
"0140","+","New Vegas Killer","1.0.0.0"
"0141","+","The Better Angels","f1.01"
"0142","+","CONELRAD 640-1240 - Civil Defense Radio","1.4.0.0"
"0143","+","Platinum Radio - A New Radio for New Vegas","2.0.0.0"
"0144","+","Blues Radio New Vegas","1.1.0.0"
"0145","+","Cowboy Radio","2.0.0.0"
"0146","-","Textures_separator",""
"0147","+","NMCs_Texture_Pack_For_New_Vegas","1.0.0.0"
"0148","+","NMCs_Texture_Pack_For_New_Vegas_Washedout_Wasteland","1.0.0.0"
"0149","+","Asterra's Many Fixes - NMC's Texture Pack compatibility","1.1.0.0"
"0150","+","Weapon Mesh Improvement Mod","1.3.0.0"
"0151","+","Weapon Retexture Project - WRP","2.2.4.0"
"0152","+","WTH - Weapon Textures from Heaven","1.1.0.0"
"0153","+","WTH - WRP Patch","1.1.0.0"
"0154","+","Armed to the Teeth - Redux","2.3.0.0"
"0155","+","All Non DLC Clothing Retex 2K","1.0.0.0"
"0156","+","All DLC Clothing Retex 2K","1.0.0.0"
"0157","+","Power Armor Visual Enhancement (PAVE)","2.1.0.0"
"0158","+","EVE - Essential Visual Enhancements","1.19.0.0"
"0159","+","EXE - Effect teXtures Enhanced","2.0.0.0"
"0160","+","All Weapon Sounds Overhaul Modern Edition - AWSOME","1.0.0.0"
"0161","+","Simple Open Freeside - Vanilla LOD","1.0.0.0"
"0162","+","Simple Open Strip - Vanilla LOD","1.0.0.0"
"0163","+","NMC's Pre-Generated LOD Updated","1.0.0.0"
"0164","+","Improved LOD Noise Texture","f1.00"
"0165","+","FNVLODGen Resources","1.1.0.0"
"0166","+","LOD additions and improvements","f1.07"
"0167","+","Much Needed LOD","1.2.0.0"
"0168","+","Much Needed LOD - NMC WASHEDOUTWASTELAND Patch","1.2.0.0"
"0169","+","FNV LOD Texture Patches","0.7.0.0"
"0170","+","TCM's LOD Overhaul","1.1.0.0"
"0171","+","Bullet Impact Increased LOD","d2023.5.26.0"
"0172","+","Enhanced Bullet Impacts","1.0.0.0"
"0173","+","xLODGen Output",""
"0174","-","Visuals_separator",""
"0175","+","Pip-Boy 2000 Mk VI","0.9.0.0"
"0176","+","Different PipBoy Animations","2.0.0.0"
"0177","+","No Muzzle Flash Lights","2.0.0.0"
"0178","+","Melee Hitstop Effects","f3.01"
"0179","+","Anniversary Anim Pack","1.9.0.0d"
"0180","+","Anniversary Anim Pack - General Bugfix","1.3.0.0"
"0181","+","Anniversary Anim Pack - Bonus Patch","1.3.0.0a"
"0182","+","Dedicated Weapon Animations (kNVSE)","0.2.9.0"
"0183","+","rockomotion","1.0.0.0"
"0184","+","Butcher Pete Complete - A Melee Animation Overhaul","1.0.0.0"
"0185","+","Wasteland Warrior - A Melee Animation Overhaul","1.0.0.0"
"0186","+","Viewmodel Recoil 0.308","d2023.5.28.0"
"0187","+","Power Fists Debulked","1.3.0.0"
"0188","+","Gauntlets Debulked","1.0.0.0"
"0189","+","Auto Melee Debulked","1.0.0.0"
"0190","+","Unarmed Animations","f1.00"
"0191","+","Different PowerFist Animations Xolerys kNVSE","1.0.0.0"
"0192","+","B42 Weapon Inertia","1.2.0.0"
"0193","+","B42 Dropmag and One in the chamber","1.2.0.0b"
"0194","+","Permanent Weapon Shells","1.1.0.0"
"0195","+","Awesome Staggering","1.5.0.0"
"0196","+","Diagonal movement","0.6.0.0b"
"0197","+","Ragdolls","5.3.9.0."
"0198","+","NV Compatibility Skeleton","13.0.0.0"
"0199","+","3rd person Movement Animations Overhaul (and bugfix)","1.0.0.0"
"0200","+","NVTS - New Vegas True Scopes","1.0.0.0"
"0201","+","Pip-Boy Shading Fix NVSE","1.0.0.0a"
"0202","+","Strip Street Light Corrections","1.0.0.0"
"0203","+","A Little More Lamplight","1.2.0.0"
"0204","+","Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks (Interior Lighting for FNV and TTW)","1.2.1.0"
"0205","+","Clarity - An Orange Tint Remover","1.2.0.0"
"0206","+","MoonlightNVSE","1.5.1.0"
"0207","+","High Resolution Bloom NVSE","5.0.0.0"
"0208","+","Cloud Shadows","1.0.1.0"
"0209","+","Cloud Shadows - Clear Weather","1.0.0.0"
"0210","+","Cloud Upgrade NVSE","1.0.0.0"
"0211","+","Interior Rain","1.0.0.0"
"0212","+","Climate Control - Rain","1.0.0.0"
"0213","+","Character Expansions Revised","2.0.0.0"
"0214","+","Character Expansions - YUP","P2.0"
"0215","+","Character Expansions Revised - JSU","P1.1"
"0216","+","Character Expansions Revised - MR","P1.3"

Hello 3d6! I’ve been working on this character theorycraft for a while now, and I’ve quite nearly accomplished my goal — only to fall barely short at the final 1%. I’m sharing it now in a 99-percent-complete state, for everyone to enjoy reading my mad scientist ravings, or to offer their own suggestions on how to wring out just a little bit more damage to finally have a character that can kill any creature in a single punch.
tl;dr: a theorycrafted level 20 Saitama character can deal 634 damage on average in a single punch, instantly killing 99% of all published monsters (27 monsters can survive).

The self-imposed rules

• Must be RAW.
• All printed magic items are allowed, and random properties may be chosen.
• Average rolls will be used for ability checks, attacks, and damage rolls.
• All the damage must be dealt in a single punch attack: damage that happens after the resolution of the attack does not count (poisons, damage on a later turn, etc.)
• Any amount of preparation time for the single punch is allowed.
• No friends — all the preparation must be done by the single character. No buff spells may be cast by other people.
• Bonus points if everything can be explained within One-Punch Man’s canon lore.

Now, let’s get into it!

Race

Protector Aasimar. Saitama claims to be an ordinary man, but let’s be honest, to have such ludicrous power, he must be more than human. Aasimar are more or less human, but with a touch of the divine, which fits the bill perfectly. Mechanically, we’re choosing this for the Radiant Soul option: as an action once per long rest, they transform for 1 minute and once per turn can deal their level in radiant damage to one target of an attack. At level 20, this will add +20 radiant damage to the punch, by far the highest single-attack damage boost of any racial ability.

Stats

Saitama has incredible strength, speed, reflexes, and durability, which he attributes to an intense training regimen. How could he have gotten such formidable training? Well, perhaps he read the instructions in a magic book. The Manuals of Gainful Exercise, Quickness of Action, and Bodily Health are very rare magic items that describe “fitness exercises,” “coordination and balance exercises,” and “health and diet tips” with words that are charged with magic. Studying these manuals and practicing their guidelines for 48 hours increases a creature’s STR, DEX, and CON stats by 2, as well as increasing their maximum for that score — up to a cap of 30. Clearly, to have such godlike strength, dexterity, and constitution, Saitama’s intense training must have included reading as many Manuals as necessary to raise his STR, DEX, and CON stats each to a godlike 30. This results in Saitama having a +10 to STR attack and damage rolls, a +10 boost to DEX checks like stealth and initiative, and a ridiculous amount of hit points. In order to multiclass, Saitama will also need at least a 13 in INT, WIS, and CHA — which should be achievable.

Classes

Saitama starts by taking three levels in Armorer Artificer, which gives him a suit of Arcane Armor that expands to cover his entire body and can be used as a spellcasting focus for artificer spells. The text describes “metallurgical pursuits,” but nothing RAW forbids one from choosing a suit of yellow leather armor for Arcane Armor. At AC 11 + DEX, this gives Saitama an AC of 21 — which doesn’t really matter, since he can kill nearly anything in a single punch before it ever has a chance of attacking him. We choose the Guardian Armor Model for Saitama’s Arcane Armor, causing the red rubber gloves on his leather armor to be counted as Thunder Gauntlets: they count as simple melee weapons when not holding anything in them, and deal 1d8 thunder damage on a hit. Saitama also has the option to use his INT modifier instead of STR or DEX when attacking with the gauntlets, but let’s be honest, he’s going to stick with his godlike +10 STR modifier here. Saitama will infuse his gloves with the Enhanced Weapon artificer infusion, giving them a +1 to attack and damage rolls, and turning them into a magic item. From Armorer, Saitama also learns the spells Booming Blade and Absorb Elements. To complete Saitama’s armor, he also gains a white Cloak of Billowing (a common magic item that does not require attunement) and a pair of red rubber Boots of Elvenkind (an uncommon magic item that also does not require attunement, and gives advantage on Stealth checks to move silently).
Next, Saitama takes nine levels in warlock. He chooses the Hexblade patron and Pact of the Blade, and gains the Hexblade’s Curse, the Eldritch Smite invocation, and the Banishing Smite spell from the Hexblade expanded spell list. He will also transform his gloves into his pact weapon, and take the Improved Pact Weapon invocation, allowing him to use his gloves as a spellcasting focus for warlock spells. Unfortunately, because his gloves are already a magic weapon with a +1 to attack and damage rolls from the Enhanced Weapon artificer infusion, they do not gain an additional +1 to attack and damage rolls from Improved Pact Weapon. Hexblade’s Curse allows Saitama to curse a creature within 30 feet for 1 minute as a bonus action, and add his proficiency bonus to damage rolls against that target. Eldritch Smite deals 1d8 force damage plus another 1d8 for each level of warlock spell slot expended when hitting a creature with one’s pact weapon. At a maximum 5th level spell slot, this adds 6d8 force damage to his punch. Banishing Smite activates as a bonus action and consumes concentration for 1 minute to add an extra 5d10 force damage on the next hit with a weapon attack. Additionally, if the target then has 50 HP or less, it is banished to its home plane (or until the spell ends). At nine levels in Warlock, Saitama gets two 5th-level spell slots per short rest. This is just enough for one usage of Eldritch Smite and one casting of Banishing Smite. However, he will then have to rest before going out to fight villains again — perhaps a good reason for why he spends so much time relaxing at home playing video games and reading manga. Saitama also gets two ASIs at his fourth and eighth levels of warlock. At these levels, he will take the Martial Adept and Fey Touched feats. The Martial Adept feat gives him a d6 superiority die and two maneuvers, one of which will be Menacing Attack (the other does not matter). Menacing Attack adds the d6 to the damage of the attack and forces the target to make a WIS save or be frightened (and though our goal is to kill the target outright, if it somehow survives, Saitama’s DC will be a difficult-to-surmount 24: 8 + 6 [proficiency bonus] + 10 [STR mod]). From the Fey Touched feat, Saitama will learn the first-level divination spell Gift of Alacrity, which lasts 8 hours without concentration and adds 1d8 to his initiative rolls.
To kill creatures in a single punch, Saitama will need to train to Assassinate: taking four levels in Assassin Rogue. Assassinate gives Saitama advantage on attacks against creatures that have not yet taken a turn in combat, and automatic critical hits on creatures who are surprised. In order to surprise creatures, Saitama will need to succeed on a Stealth check contested by the target’s Perception: “Any character or monster that doesn't notice a threat is surprised at the start of the encounter.” Saitama rarely sneaks up on his targets, but usually allows them to monologue for a long time before annihilating them with a single punch. It is his unremarkable appearance that allows him to take his enemies by surprise — and perhaps that appearance is its own form of stealth. Just to make getting surprise mechanically possible, Saitama will take an Expertise in Stealth, to double his proficiency for a +12 to Stealth in addition to his +10 DEX modifier. Due to his red rubber Boots of Elvenkind, he will also get advantage on Stealth checks made to move silently. With a +22 to Stealth, on an average d20 roll of 13.825 (with advantage), a Stealth of 35.825 should allow him to defeat the passive perception of nearly every monster — even the Greatwyrms, which have a passive perception of only 32. Tiamat has a passive perception of 36, and as the monster with the highest passive perception, she is the only monster capable of successfully noticing Saitama’s threat (unless he gets a little lucky with the Stealth roll). If we really want to ensure that Saitama can go undetected, we could give him the Epic Boon of Undetectability for an additional +10 to Stealth checks and immunity to detection or targeting by divination magic. He will also need to beat his target on an initiative roll to be able to get an automatic critical hit — which is why he will take the Alert feat on his fourth level of rogue, giving him a +5 to initiative rolls in addition to the +10 from his DEX modifier. As the only bonus monsters get to initiative is from their DEX modifier (and the highest DEX modifier that any monster has is +9, for the Elder Tempest or Will-o’-Wisp), with a total +6 edge from the +5 from Alert and his +10 DEX modifier, as well as +1d8 from Gift of Alacrity, Saitama will beat even the fastest monsters’ initiative rolls 89% of the time (and a later item will increase this to 97%).
When Saitama uses a Serious Punch, it’s like sending the target on a Path to their Grave. Thus, Saitama will take two levels in Grave Cleric. As an action, Path to the Grave allows Saitama to choose “another creature’s life force for termination.” The next time he hits the chosen creature within 30 feet with an attack, the creature has vulnerability to all of the attack’s damage, causing the damage to be doubled (as long as the creature is not immune or resistant to any of the damage types).
Lastly, Saitama will take two levels in paladin, gaining Divine Smite and the Dueling fighting style. When hitting with a melee weapon attack, he can expend a spell slot to Divine Smite, dealing additional radiant damage to the target. At three levels of artificer, two levels of cleric, and two levels of paladin, Saitama is a fifth-level multiclassed caster (his three levels from artificer are halved and rounded up to two, cleric gives two levels, and two levels of paladin is halved to one, for a total of five). This gives him two 3rd-level spell slots per long rest — spending a 3rd level slot on a Divine Smite gives an extra 4d8 radiant damage (1d8 off of the maximum of 5d8 from spending a 4th-level spell). It also deals an extra 1d8 to undead or fiend targets. The Dueling fighting style gives +2 to damage rolls when wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapons. The Thunder Gauntlets count as simple melee weapons when not holding anything in them, so Saitama will hold something in his right hand, leaving him wielding only one Thunder Gauntlet on his left hand when he delivers a Serious Punch. (In One-Punch Man canon, Saitama usually punches with his right hand. For a mechanical reason, our theorycrafted DND Saitama has to punch with his left. Maybe this is why DND Saitama is slightly weaker than canon Saitama, and isn’t able to kill every monster in a single hit.)
With three levels of artificer, nine levels of warlock, four levels of rogue, two levels of cleric, and two levels of paladin, Saitama is a level 20 character.

Feats

As mentioned above, Saitama will take Martial Adept and Fey Touched at his fourth and eighth warlock level, and Alert at his fourth level of rogue.

Additional items

When Saitama strikes someone, it occasionally appears as if he has grown to incredible size (https://tenor.com/view/one-punch-man-gif-23643267). To simulate this, DND Saitama will consume a Potion of Giant Size (legendary) and a Potion of Growth (rare), increasing to Huge for 24 hours and then again to Gargantuan for 1d4 hours. From the Potion of Giant Size, his weapons roll three times as many dice (thus increasing his Thunder Gauntlets to deal 3d8 thunder damage on hit). From the Potion of Growth, Saitama gets advantage on STR checks and saves, and deals 1d4 additional damage on weapon attacks.
Saitama can attune to three magic items. We will choose the Hand of Vecna (legendary), Sword of Kas (legendary), and a Ring of Spell Storing (rare).
To attune to the Hand of Vecna, Saitama had to lop off his left hand at the wrist and replace it with the Hand of Vecna. This withered hand is hidden within his red rubber glove, and (among other properties) allows him to deal an extra 2d8 cold damage when he makes a melee weapon attack with a weapon held in the hand. The Hand of Vecna also includes one minor and one major beneficial property, along with one minor detrimental property. For the major beneficial property, we will choose the property: “When you hit with a weapon attack while attuned to the artifact, the target takes an extra 1d6 damage of the weapon's type.” For the minor beneficial property, we will choose immunity to charm and fear effects. The minor detrimental property we will choose is: “Your appearance changes as the DM decides” — from his intense training regimen (which included chopping off his left hand and replacing it with the Hand of Vecna), Saitama unfortunately lost all of his hair — still a sore spot for him.
The Sword of Kas grants several abilities, but Saitama only attacks with punches, so it will remain in its scabbard, somewhere on his person. While it is on his person, it adds an additional d10 to Saitama’s initiative (raising his probability of having a higher initiative than even a monster with +9 DEX to 97%). The Sword of Kas also includes one minor and one major beneficial property, as well as one minor and one major detrimental property. We will choose the same major beneficial property as the Hand of Vecna, for an extra 1d6 damage when hitting with a weapon attack (typically effects of the same type do not stack. However, since these are generic properties of two artifacts with different names, the properties should stack under RAW). The minor beneficial property can be any (some thematic options include immunity to disease or +1 AC), and the minor detrimental property can be: “The first time you touch a gem or piece of jewelry while attuned to this artifact, the value of the gem or jewelry is reduced by half.” Perhaps this explains why Saitama is poor. The major detrimental property can be taking 8d10 psychic damage when attuning to the Sword of Kas: Saitama mentions that his training was so intense that he thought he might die — perhaps this damage was why it felt so intense. (Note: with eighteen levels in classes with d8 hit dice and two levels of paladin for d10 hit dice, Saitama’s average hit points is 92, not counting the incredible 200 additional HP from his +10 CON modifier. Even at a maximum roll of 80 psychic damage from attuning to Sword of Kas, he wouldn’t actually die.) Interestingly, the Sword of Kas also causes its bearer to gradually become obsessed with destroying anyone corrupted by the Hand of Vecna — this might cause Saitama to become fairly conflicted.
Lastly, the Ring of Spell-Storing. Up to five levels of spells can be stored within, and can be cast while touching the ring. Saitama can spend one of his fifth-level Pact Magic slots to cast Absorb Elements (learned from his levels in artificer) into the ring, before resting to regain his Pact Magic slot. Absorb Elements can be cast as a reaction to elemental damage, grants resistance to the triggering damage, and adds an extra 1d6 of that damage type per spell level when the next time the caster hits with a melee attack on their next turn. Cast at a fifth level, this adds 5d6 elemental damage to Saitama’s punch. To voluntarily trigger the Absorb Elements, we will have Saitama use his free object interaction to stick a finger into a vial of acid held in his right hand (which also makes the Thunder Gauntlet in his right hand no longer count as a melee weapon since it's holding something, thus enabling him to use the Dueling fighting style with his left). The acid will burn Saitama, allowing him to cast Absorb Elements in reaction, getting resistance to the acid damage and charging up 5d6 acid damage to be released on his next melee attack this turn.

Preparation to punch

In order to maximize damage in a single attack, Saitama needs to do some preparation. At some point, he will spend one of his fifth-level Pact Magic slots to cast Absorb Elements into the Ring of Spell Storing, before resting to regain his Pact Magic slot.
On the day of, he must also cast Gift of Alacrity to maximize his initiative rolls (this lasts 8 hours), and spend an action drinking the Potion of Giant Size (which lasts 24 hours). One hour before the fight, he must drink the Potion of Growth (which lasts a minimum of 1 hour). He must also open the vial of acid and hold it ready in his right hand.
A minute before punching his target, he must spend an action to activate his Radiant Soul Aasimar transformation, and spend an action and a bonus action cursing his target with the Hexblade’s Curse and Path to the Grave.
Finally, on the turn he punches, he spends his free object interaction to touch the acid in the vial until it causes damage, then casts Absorb Elements as a reaction from his Ring of Spell Storing. He spends his bonus action casting Banishing Smite, and then his action casting the cantrip Booming Blade. (He has cast three spells in one turn, but the only limitation on casting multiple spells per turn is that if he casts a spell as a bonus action, he may only cast a cantrip — like Booming Blade — with his action.)

The punch

Booming Blade requires a material component: a melee weapon worth at least 1 sp. Normally, using his arcane armor as a spellcasting focus would allow him to ignore material components, but this material component cannot be ignored because it has a cost. The Thunder Gauntlets from a suit of arcane armor have no assigned cost, but the basic leather armor costs 10 gp, so it’s a safe assumption that a magically-enhanced +1 Thunder Gauntlet would cost more than 1 sp. Upon casting the spell, Saitama makes a melee attack against a creature within 5 feet. At level 20, the cantrip adds an extra 3d8 thunder damage to the initial attack, and an additional 4d8 if the target moves on its next turn — but the latter damage will not count for this purpose because our goal is to annihilate the target with the first hit.
Assuming that his stealth and initiative checks have allowed Saitama to surprise his target and go first in the initiative order, he has advantage on his attack from Assassinate and gets +17 to the roll: +6 from his proficiency, +10 from his STR modifier, and +1 from the Enhanced Weapon infusion. The monsters with the highest AC are Tiamat and the Tarrasque, with an AC of 25 — with advantage and a +17 to hit, Saitama has an 88% chance of hitting, and any hit is an automatic critical hit from Assassinate. If a guaranteed hit is desired, we could give Saitama an Epic Boon of Combat Prowess, choosing to hit on a melee weapon attack once per short rest. At that point, the attack roll doesn’t even matter.

Damage

The 1d8 thunder damage from his Thunder Gauntlets is tripled to 3d8 by the Potion of Giant Size. The Gauntlets deal an extra 1d4 thunder damage from the Potion of Growth, an extra 2d6 thunder damage from the major beneficial properties of the Hand of Vecna and the Sword of Kas, and an extra 1d6 thunder damage from the Menacing Attack maneuver. The attack deals an extra 2d8 cold damage because it was made with a weapon wielded by the Hand of Vecna. We add an additional 6d8 force damage from Eldritch Smite, 5d10 force damage from Banishing Smite, 4d8 radiant damage from Divine Smite, 5d6 acid damage from Absorb Elements, and 3d8 thunder damage from Booming Blade.
Let’s total this up: 6d8+1d4+3d6 thunder + 2d8 cold + 6d8+5d10 force + 4d8 radiant + 5d6 acid damage
All these dice are doubled on the critical hit from Assassinate: 12d8+2d4+6d6 thunder + 4d8 cold + 12d8+10d10 force + 8d8 radiant + 10d6 acid damage
Now, counting the flat damage: 10 thunder damage from Saitama’s STR modifier on the Thunder Gauntlets, +1 thunder damage from the Enhanced Weapon infusion, +6 thunder damage from Hexblade’s Curse, and +2 thunder damage from the Dueling fighting style, for a total of +19 thunder damage. We also add 20 radiant damage from the Radiant Soul transformation.
Another preliminary total: 12d8+2d4+6d6+19 thunder + 4d8 cold + 12d8+10d10 force + 8d8+20 radiant + 10d6 acid damage
All the damage is doubled by the vulnerability inflicted by Path to the Grave: 24d8+4d4+12d6+38 thunder + 8d8 cold + 24d8+20d10 force + 16d8+40 radiant + 20d6 acid damage
This averages to 198 thunder + 36 cold + 218 force + 112 radiant + 70 acid damage, for a total of 634 damage on average in a single punch.
Anything that survives this formidable blow must then have more than 50 hit points remaining, or else it is banished to its home plane without a save by Banishing Smite (thus, Saitama's punch can effectively defeat creatures with up to 684 HP).
After two short rests, Saitama could theoretically do a Serious Punch again on the same day — minus the +40 radiant damage from Radiant Soul (doubled by Path to the Grave), the only ability used that requires a long rest to recharge. After a second Serious Punch, though, he’ll run out of third-level spell slots for the Divine Smite.

The targets (who survives?)

With the most hit points out of any monster in DND 5e, the Tarrasque has 676 HP, damage immunities to fire, poison, and bludgeoning/piercing/slashing damage from nonmagical attacks, three legendary resistances per day, advantage on saves against spells, can nullify or reflect ranged attack spells, and can terrify creatures within 120 feet with its Frightful Presence. None of this protects it from a single punch from our Caped Baldy. On 62% of possible damage rolls, that Tarrasque is getting sent back to its plane of origin, gibbering with fear: with a WIS modifier of +0, it has no chance of succeeding the DC 24 WIS save against Saitama’s Menacing Attack (of course, Tarrasques are immune to the frightened condition, but let’s ignore that because it’s funny).
However, this doesn’t quite count as killing the tarrasque in a single punch, since it’s banished but still alive (and returns after one minute if it’s not originally from another plane). Additionally, a several other monsters could definitely survive the punch — chief among them, Tiamat: Outside of being immune to acid and cold damage (reducing the damage by 106 points and dropping the remaining 528 total damage from the punch well below her total HP of 615), Tiamat is also immune to spells of level 6 or lower: thus completely nullifying the effects of both Booming Blade and Banishing Smite. However, as a fiend, Divine Smite does deal an extra d8 radiant damage against her. Still, eliminating Booming Blade and Banishing Smite drops the single punch damage to 382 on average, leaving Tiamat with 233 HP: more than a third of her health. Instead casting Banishing Smite and Booming Blade, Saitama could use his action to punch twice using the Thirsting Blade eldritch invocation, spending both his 5th-level Pact Magic spell slots on Eldritch Smites and both 3rd-level slots on Divine Smites. If Saitama managed to sneak up on Tiamat to surprise her and get the automatic critical hits from Assassinate, he would deal 3d8+1d4+3d6 thunder + 6d8 force + 5d8 radiant damage on each attack, doubled from the critical hit to 6d8+2d4+6d6 thunder + 12d8 force + 10d8 radiant damage, and a total of +19 thunder on both attacks and +20 radiant on the first. The first attack damage would be doubled from Path to the Grave, but the second would not. The first attack would deal 12d8+4d4+12d6+38 thunder + 24d8 force + 20d8+40 radiant damage, and the second 6d8+2d4+6d6+19 thunder + 12d8 force + 10d8 radiant; for a total damage of 553 on average, still 62 points short of Tiamat’s 615 total HP.
Other creatures that would survive:

• Sapphire Greatwyrms and Velomachus Lorehold — with immunities to thunder damage and HP totals of 507 and 487 respectively, they survive the 436 total non-thunder damage from Saitama’s Serious Punch. With 51 HP remaining on average, Velomachus also has a 53% chance of having enough HP to escape getting banished.
• Amethyst Greatwyrms and Tanazir Quandrix — with immunities to force damage and HP totals of 507 and 444 respectively, they survive the 416 total non-force damage from the Serious Punch. Tanazir is almost definitely getting banished, though.
• The Aspect of Tiamat and Aspect of Bahamut are immune to both fire and cold damage, reducing the Serious Punch to 528 damage — not enough to eliminate their 574 and 585 hit points, respectively. However, both Aspects might still fall victim to the Banishing Smite: 56% of damage rolls will deal enough damage to banish the Aspect of Tiamat, and 37% of rolls for the Aspect of Bahamut. Interestingly, banishing these monsters with the Banishing Smite might be better than reducing them to 0 HP, because dropping them to 0 would trigger their Chromatic Wrath / Platinum Brilliance traits, resetting their HP to 500, recharging their breath weapons and legendary resistances, and unlocking their Mythic Actions.
• Copper Greatwyrms are immune to acid damage, reducing the Serious Punch to 564 damage on average — allowing them to barely survive with 1 hit point left (out of their HP total of 565). They will survive on 52% of damage rolls, and almost certainly get banished if they do. However, on the 48% of damage rolls that succeed in reducing them to 0 HP, they will actually not get banished: instead, their Metallic Awakening will immediately trigger and will reset their HP to 450.
• Silver Greatwyrms have 565 HP and immunity to cold damage, but even without cold damage, the Serious Punch still deals 598 damage on average: enough to reduce them to 0 HP on 91% of damage rolls. Interestingly, this gives Silver Greatwyrms higher odds of surviving than Copper Greatwyrms, because they are far more likely to trigger the Metallic Awakening and reset their HP to 450 to escape banishment — rather than Copper Greatwyrms, which have better-than-even odds of surviving the initial punch but then getting banished for their trouble.
• The other 11 types of Greatwyrm not yet mentioned will also survive thanks the same reason as the Silver Greatwyrm: they can't survive the initial punch, but being reduced to 0 HP will trigger their Metallic/Chromatic/Gem Awakening traits to reset their HP to 400 or more, ironically allowing them to evade being banished. Of the 15 types of Greatwyrm, only Copper Greatwyrms have moderate odds of getting banished in a single strike — the others will either survive the first hit entirely, or get reduced to 0 hit points and trigger their Awakening to avoid getting banished.
• Zariel from Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes and Archduke Zariel of Avernus from Descent into Avernus each have resistance to radiant damage, resistance or immunity to cold damage (respectively), and 580 hit points. However, they are fiends, causing the Divine Smite to add an additional 9 radiant damage on average (the 1d8 extra Divine Smite damage to fiends is doubled twice from the critical hit and Path to the Grave, but halved from Zariel’s resistance to radiant damage). Accounting for the resistance to radiant damage and the bonus Divine Smite damage to fiends, the punch deals 587 total damage. Then, subtracting 18 damage for cold resistance or 36 damage for cold immunity, Zariel survives with 11 HP and Archduke Zariel with 29 HP — both still very likely getting banished back to Avernus.
• No creature has resistance to thunder and more than 535 hit points to survive the punch, resistance to force damage and more than 525 hit points, or resistance to acid damage and more than 599 hit points. Only 10 creatures other than Zariel have resistances to thunder, cold, force, radiant, or acid damage and more than 400 HP: of those, Sul Khatesh, Rak Tulkhesh, Orcus, and the Demogorgon’s cold resistances reduce the damage by 18, but, as fiends, they take an additional 18 radiant damage from Divine Smite — and with 475, 478, 405, and 406/464 HP respectively (depending on the source book), they get easily annihilated by the Serious Punch. Tromokratis is resistant to both thunder and cold damage, reducing the Serious Punch by 117 damage, but with 409 HP, the Serious Punch still deals over 100 more points of damage than necessary to kill it. The Marut and the Ancient Amethyst Dragon are also only resistant to one of the damage types, which does not reduce the damage enough for them to survive.
• Many creatures have the Regeneration trait that allow them to survive and regain a certain amount of HP at the start of their turn even if they start their turn with 0 HP. However, taking radiant damage disables this trait for fiends, undead, and aberrations, and acid damage disables it for trolls and giants. Cold damage disables it for Tlexolotl and Vegepygmy, thunder damage for the Glasswork Golem, and spell damage for Wereravens. Four monsters have Regeneration traits that still work to bring them back from 0 HP after being hit by Saitama's punch: Loup Garou regenerate if not dealt damage with a silver weapon; the Jabberwock regenerates if not dealt slashing damage; and the Regenerating Black Pudding and Living Doll regenerate if not dealt fire damage (for the Wood Woad, banishment likely counts as no longer being “in contact with the ground” and therefore its Regeneration trait fails). None of these monsters have more than 300 HP, so the 634 damage from Saitama's Punch may be enough to destroy them by dealing more than double their max HP in a single instance of damage — however, Jeremy Crawford rules that massive damage is not enough to kill a monster with regeneration (https://youtu.be/1frsmP\_AzV0?t=2663).
• Some undead have an Undead Fortitude trait that allows them to drop to 1 HP instead of 0 on a save; however, these traits are disabled by both the fact that the Serious Punch deals radiant damage, is a critical hit (from Assassinate), and that they would have to succeed on a CON save with a DC of 5+the damage taken: DC 657 (when taking account the extra 18 radiant damage Divine Smite deals to undead).
• Vampires, Liches, and other monsters with the Rejuvenation trait may also be utterly destroyed by the punch, but survive by regenerating or gaining a new body later. However, we will still count them as having been killed by the punch, even if they didn’t fully die. Even if they return to bother Saitama, he can just destroy them again in a single punch.
• There may be other monsters with features that allow them to escape a single attack — if there are, they don't immediately come to mind.

Thus, our final list of 27 survivors of Saitama’s punch:

• Nullifies the punch (1): Tiamat
• Avoids banishment with 51-100 HP (3): Sapphire Greatwyrm, Amethyst Greatwyrm, Aspect of Bahamut
• Gets reduced to 0 but avoids banishment by resetting their HP through the Awakening trait (12): Silver Greatwyrm and 11 other types of Greatwyrm
• 50/50 odds of being banished (3): Velomachus Lorehold, Aspect of Tiamat, Copper Greatwyrm
• Likely banished, but still alive (4): Tarrasque, Tanazir Quandrix, Zariel and Archduke Zariel
• Reduced to 0 HP and banished, but regenerates (4): Loup Garou, Jabberwock, Regenerating Black Pudding, Living Doll

Saitama can kill all remaining 2,800+ monsters ever printed in a single punch.

Thank you for reading!

If you've gotten this far, thanks for sticking with me! If you have any ideas on how to squeeze out the last bits of damage to allow Saitama to one-hit kill any of the remaining 27 monsters, please comment to let me know!

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Full Featured Pro Mixer
• Shape a mix using channel strips with volume faders, pan controls, plug-ins, sends and precision automation • Mix naturally with Multi-Touch by moving multiple faders at once • Use the meter bridge to navigate an overview of all track levels • Create Track Stacks to organise and simplify mixing large projects
Massive Library of Sounds
• Over 6,300 samples of drums, vocals and sound effects • Over 4,800 instrument and effects patches • More than 9,000 loops in a wide range of styles * requires Logic Pro 10.7.8 or higher and macOS Monterey 12.3 or higher ** Requires compatible third-party Audio Unit Extensions apps from the App Store *** Logic Pro for iPad supports any class-compliant audio interface or MIDI device
This video contains the following product demonstration:

• How to create an audio track
• How to create a track with Drum Kit Designer
• How to load a sample onto the audio track
• How to create a simple pattern in the Drum Track to drive side chain
• How to enable side chain on the compressor for the audio track
• How to configure the compressor in terms of attack, release, threshold and ration to ensure a nice side chain effect
• Etc.

I hope you enjoy the demo / Tutorial and find it useful.
Do not forget to subscribe.
https://youtu.be/1k78NfiUT_U

Image: https://i.postimg.cc/CKW1vyX20230603-120609.jpg
Selling my ROG Flow Z13 (2022 edition) along with the XG Mobile 3080 (2021). Recently upgraded and no longer have use for this system. It's in excellent condition and comes with the original box and charger. Has screen protector installed as well.
$1,800 shipped anywhere in the lower 48 states. Fast shipping, nearly instant tracking information (as long as I'm near a computer but definitely same-day).
Z13 Specifications:
Display 13.4" 1080P (1920 x 1200) 120Hz IPS Touchscreen Display
Processor Intel Core i9-12900H
Graphics NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3050 Ti
RAM 16GB LPDDR5
Storage 1TB SSD
Operating System Windows 11
Weight 1.1 kg
Dimensions 298.9 x 203.2 x 12.9 mm
XG Mobile Specifications:
Graphics NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3080 Laptop GPU
Ports 2x Thunderbolt 4, 1x HDMI 2.0b, 1x USB 3.2 Gen 2 Type-A, 1x SD card reader
Power 280W
Weight 1.9 kg
Dimensions 304 x 227 x 27 mm
Supports ROG Flow X13 and ROG Flow Z13 laptops
Up to 150W TGP
16GB GDDR6 memory
PCIe 3.0 x8 interface
NVIDIA DLSS and NVIDIA Reflex support
Supports up to four 4K displays
Any questions? Please let me know! Thanks!

I have a question,
Basically i just want to know if they even exist
Like i know wall outlet with surge protector exists, but i haven't found any with a light switch (either by itself or a combo or outlet and switch)
My main reason i want to know if the product exit is to protect some ceiling fans. Because due to it being summer were getting some "spikes" and the controller box (to turn the fan on/off wirelessly) keeps dying (in the sense of having to buy a new one...)
So Yea if this product exist and if it's recommend do say,
i am open to any other suggestions
My house does have like surge protector in the breaker panel and i think a few ground but obviously i feel it's not enough if cealing fans (and some light bulb) die when there new

Issue: I'll be using my PC like normal, suddenly it will drop WiFi. Then it will reconnect, then continue this loop every 5 seconds for probably 5 minutes. The PC sits on carpet under my desk. It doesn't get moved. The surge protector is also on the carpet and a subwoofer right next to it as well.
​
Solution: I've tried a bunch of "non-technical solutions" to stop the loop, and what seems to work is to pick up the PC a few inches and set it back down, then pick the surge protector up a few inches and set it down, then run my fingers across the PC case and the power cables, HDMI cables, USB cables, etc.
​
This works pretty often, so I'm thinking some type of EMI making its way onto the board due to the carpet and my hands discharge the static when I touch it. But shouldn't the case protect against the static making its way inside? Anyone have any similar situation?

Hey Folks,
Here's my system info: using 5v SK6812 @ 699 LEDs power supply MeanWell LRS-350-5
System configuration: I am running 22 19 LED strips as shelf lighting and 1 300 led strip for background accent lighting split between three individual runs: 1x300, 1x209, and 1x190.
Line layouts: 1x300: a single run with power injection in the mi1x205ddle (2.5 meters in on a 5 meter strip) using 12 gauge lines to run it. The connection to the strip is 6 feet from the controller box.
1x209:
This strip setup is in parallel: I have a main line running power from the controller to the top shelf for a 4ft line that connects (with pigtails to JST 3 pin connections at each sshelf so I can easily remove a shelf and not take out the entire circuit. So much soldering!) 5 x 19 shelves. I then daisy chain over to the next shelf section from the top shelf (did this to have pseudo sections, so three sections of 19 LEDs for a total of 57 LEDs on paper but in reality 209 by volume. The cool thing here is that I can more easily segment the shelving out to make individual zones without doing a ton of sections. At least it made sense at the time).
The connecting wire from the top led strip to the next LED strip is 3ft and the line is also three feet. I then daisy chain the top of THIS shelf to the next section which is a 1.5 foot run to the next LED strip and then a 3 foot line down to feed all the shelves.
1x190: same wiring as the previous zone but it has a 16ft run of powedata using 16 gauge wiring to the first strip
I had completed my initial wiring using 20 gauge wiring for the 1x300 and the 1x209 runs and had to inject on the 1x300 and had power drop on the 1x209 so I decided to upgrade the wiring from v20 gauge to 14 in hopes to eliminate the need for running power injection for the shelving (only noticeable when all LEDs are powered on, not during any of the modes I planned on using but my dumb ass saw it and knew that I couldn't let it go).
After changing the wiring out for the 1x300 and the 1x209 I can't set the brightness over a certain threshold or the dig eSP powers off immediately.
Power wiring on the digquad: I changed all of the fuses and still had the same problem. I increased each fuse to 10 amps : same issue. I wired each line individually (the quad shares the same fuse for ports 1/2 and 3/4 so I put each run in its own fuse), and had the same problem, I upgraded them all to 10 amps, same problem.
I also added a power limit of 23 amps in WLED (according to the app that's the max pull) and still can crash the ESP if I turn up the juice to full bright (again, I never intend to run it this way but I feel it SHOULD not crash doing so, and it didn't before I changed the wiring).
I didn't notice any specific damage to the dig quad ESP and I am feeding in 12gauge runs from power to the quad @8 inches (using a turtle plate for mounting).
I'm baffled as to why increasing the available current (ie using bigger wires to have less resistance to extend the reach of the 5v input), would cause the ESP to crash.
Where did I screw up? I mean, beyond trying to fix something that wasn't broken.

Looking for something like this Tripp Lite that has the nice little under-table/desk mountable switch.
The issue with this one is I don't really see how it can mount upside-down very well and it's also very large. I want to stick it under an electric standing table so I can use the switch to kill just 3 things on the table (so I really only need 3 outlets, but I could settle on 2). It will be used to kill some unused displays on occasion since there's no real way to turn them on/off without pressing the button on each one and no software solution is possible.
Ideally I would plug it into the existing power strip under the table (should be fine really just want the switch functionality so I won't overload anything) so the table itself can just have the one cable going to the floor.
Any suggestions?

"Be excellent to each other... and party on dudes!"

He is Bill S. Preston, Esq.! And he is Ted "Theodore" Logan! And together, they are Wyld Stallyns!
To everyone else in late-80s/early-90s San Dimas, California, Wyld Stallyns may look like the impossible dream of two slackers with no skill in anything else. But in truth, the music of Wyld Stallyns is so bodacious, so non-heinous, so excellent that it brings about an era of prosperity, both across the earth and to the stars beyond, and technological advancement so advanced that even time can be accessed as freely as a 10-digit phone number from the nearest payphone. Because of this, agents from the future utopia have sent back a time-travelling phone booth as well as information about the future to make sure that Bill and Ted are able to continue having most excellent adventures and fulfill the destiny of Wyld Stallyns.

Key

Movies:
^EA = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
^BJ = Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
^FtM - Bill & Ted Face the Music
Shows:
^CSxEy = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures (DiC Animated Series); Season X Episode Y
^LAEx = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures (Fox Live Action Series); Episode X
Comics:
^M#X = Bill & Ted's Excellent Comic Book (Marvel Comics) Issue #X
^BVx#y = Boom! Studios Comics; Volume X, Issue #Y

Vol. 1 = Bill & Ted's Triumphant Return
Vol. 2 = Bill & Ted Go To Hell
Vol. 3 = Bill & Ted Save the Universe
BV1#xS = Boom! Studios Comics; Side Story

^DH#X = Dark Horse Comics (Face the Music Compliant) Issue #X
Games:
^AL = Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (Atari Lynx)
^NES = Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (NES)
^WS = Wyld Stallyns (Mobile Game)
Live Show:
^EHAyy = Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure; 19YY/20YY

Bill and Ted

Strength

• Twist around several amps while running as a blur. ^CS1E7
  
• Run straight through several tentpoles. ^CS1E7
  
• Hold themselves against the winds created by a giant monster that toss around buses and tanks. ^CS2E5
  
• Push around large stone slabs. ^AL
  
• A version of Bill and Ted from a bad future become super jacked and help curbstomp a robot. ^FtM
  
• [Limitation] Struggle to do push-ups. ^BJ
  

Speed/Agility

• Dodge a stone discus launched hard enough to embed into a marble pillar, and a falling chandelier. ^CS1E2
  
• Dodge around weapons swung by Roman gladiators. ^CS1E3
  
• Dodge a speeding horse and a flying coffin. ^CS1E9
  
• Able to dodge a frog mid-jump. ^CS1E11
  
• Run off fast enough to kick up a trail of dust. ^CS2E1
  
• Intercept a cannon shot. ^CS2E1
  
• Dodge a cannon shot just before it hits. ^CS2E3
  
• As babies, able to run off hidden behind a cloud of baby powder. ^CS2E7
  
• Duck underneath a swinging pendulum. ^AL
  
• Very good at jumping really high. ^NES
  
• Dodge a booth as it falls from time jump. ^LAE2
  
• Disguise themselves as a doctor and a cadaver in the time it takes for a woman to leave a room. ^LAE3
  
• Scale up the snout of a large, metal dragon. ^BJ
  
• Attempt and almost succeed at intercepting a bullet, moving a good distance in the time it takes to go from a gun to a person feet away. ^EHA08
  
• Outrun several species of dinosaur. ^M#2
  
  • Outrun a T-Rex running fast enough to kick up large rocks in its wake. ^BV1#3S
• Dodge a superhero sent flying hard enough to leave a comet trail behind him. ^M#10
  
• Dodge around machine gun fire. ^M#11
  
  • Again. ^BV1#5
• Able to see the two drivers in a high speed chase. ^BV1#2S
  
• Hit a button that causes the spaceship they're in to lurch forward fast enough to send everyone inside tumbling, then run off before anyone else can catch their bearings. ^BV3#1
  

Durability

• Get tossed across a bar, their heads smashing through a thin wood wall. ^EA
  
• Fall from a second floor balcony into some bushes and walk it off. ^FtM
  
• Has Death thrown at them bodily and get back up. ^DH#3
  
• Crushed under a mountain of falling china. ^CS1E1
  
• Are sent flying back by their amplifier's exploding to little ill effect. ^CS1E1
  
• Have a stove dropped on their heads. ^CS1E2
  
• Launched through a window and fall a story down into a stone fountain. ^CS1E2
  
• Fall from the top of a three-story building into some bushes. ^CS1E4
  
• Get slammed into a brick wall hard enough to indent. ^CS1E7
  
• Get launched into the air by their inflatable shoes and then fall back down. ^CS1E9
  
• Get kicked out of a stadium hard enough to send them flying, toppling a food cart. ^CS1E9
  
• Get blasted high into the air by a jet of water strong enough to blow away a stone statue, then land in a river. ^AL
  
• Get blasted back by the explosion from this huge gun. ^M#8
  
• Punch themselves. ^M#11
  
• Get zapped in a clash between Darth Vader and Gandalf and walk it off. ^EHA02
  
• Fall down a trap door a dozen feet and get up fine. ^BV3#1
  
• Hit a button that causes the spaceship they're in to lurch forward fast enough to send everyone inside tumbling, then run off before anyone else can catch their bearings. ^BV3#1
  
• Take hits from the Death Quills of Koloko IV, the Lightning Web, the Fire Bones of Kykartian Dragodon, the Cyberwasps of the Robot Zoo Planet, and the Lavaspin of Sector 487. ^BV3#2
  
• Roll into a snowball then crash into a building hard enough to demolish it. ^DH#3
  
• [Limitation] A long fall from the top of this cliff is enough to instantly kill them. ^BJ
  

Skill

• Easily bat in a baseball game one-handed while focusing on other things. Ted even throws the bat so that it spins hard enough to hit the ball without him holding it. ^CS2E3
  
• Jump from an upper banister and swing down on ropes, knocking out two guys and stealing their weapons in the process. ^LAE6
  
• Briefly hold their own in a duel, despite neither having any dueling experience. ^M#1
  

Intelligence
Yes, really.

• Can comprehend and utilize stable time loops. ^EA
  
  • Leave a recording device hidden in the corner of a room with a timer to use as a distraction. ^EA
  • Leave a typed message for themselves at a printer with instructions to duck at just the perfect time. ^EA
  • Sets up a trash can to fall at the right time to trap Ted's father. ^EA
  • Outwit De Nomolos, setting up not only a sandbag and cage to fall at just the right time and place to disarm and trap him, but also set up a key for the cage and fake gun to trick him into believing that he would win the encounter. ^BJ
  • When they don't have access to a booth, they go back in time to ask Station to build one so that he's done in time for them to go back and ask. ^BV1#1
  • Loosen a chandelier just so that it falls on Vlad the Impaler's head while he's cornered them. ^BV3#1
• When they're being pursued by versions of them from a bad future, who remember everything they're about to do, they do something they can't possibly remember doing to escape. ^FtM
  
• Able to somewhat fix the booth's broken antennae with some fudge cans and a large wad of chewed gum. ^EA
  
  • Able to somewhat fix the booth's broken antennae with a magazine and a shoelace. ^LAE1
  • Able to more or less fix the booth's broken numpad by copying what they remember Station doing to fix it. ^BV1#3S
• Survive a long fall from within the booth by jumping at the last second. ^CS1E8
  
• Rig up a lever to launch Dracula out of the booth and onto a bed. ^CS1E9
  
• Make functional guitars out of laundry and string. ^CS1E12
  
• Make a castle display out of water sealant cans and boxes. ^LAE2
  
• Rewire a jukebox to play music from a walkman. ^LAE5
  
• Their advice helps their music teacher move on from heartbreak and live peacefully where before she was bitter and angry at everyone. ^LAE7
  
• Outwit Einstein, tricking him into delivering his speech about the Theory of Relativity instead of his bad stand up routine. ^LAE8
  
• Able to escape from Death with a Melvin. ^BJ
  
• Trick Evil Robot Bill and Ted into thinking they're the real good Bill and Ted. ^M#7
  
• Escape from a future prison by starting a fire to set off the fire alarm. ^M#8
  
• Impress Socrates with their philosophizing. ^EA
  
• Are able to convince Hyper-World, a planet who's entire society is predicated on comic book violence, to stop fighting... for a few seconds. ^M#10
  

Rockitude
Skill

• Wyld Stallyns' music eventually becomes good enough that it ushers in interplanetary peace. ^EA
  
  • Their music apparently brings about post-scarcity, or at least post-the need for money. ^CS1E12 ...NOT! ^M#8
  • Post-training and with full band backing, a televized broadcast of their performance is able to cause people of multiple different cultures around the world to jam. The newspapers of the following years also state that their touring schedule causes crops to grow in the American midwest and peace to come to the Middle East, that rumors of their split cause the stock market to plummet and when those rumors are disproven the stock market surges. ^BJ
• Seduce a pair of medieval babes with some off the cuff lyrics. ^EA
  
• Jam with Little Richard and a young Mozart. ^CS1E2
  
• Rock with Angus Young. ^EHA01
  
• Shred with James Hetfield. ^EHA06
  
• Tear it up with Fall Out Boy. ^EHA13
  
• Demolish with Axl Rose and Slash. ^EHA14
  
• Fuck it up with Kurt Kobain. ^EHA15
  
• Play the guitar very well with Freddy Mercury. ^EHA17
  
• Play a pocket organ well enough that the surrounding Roman guards are too busy dancing to notice them. ^AL
  
• Can play basically any instrument placed in front of them. ^FtM
  
• Calm an agitated baby dinosaur. ^BV1#3S
  
• Able to build guitars out of random debris in a gladiatorial death pit in a matter of seconds, then play well enough to pacify a rampaging alien monster who is also the most esteemed music critic in the galaxy. ^BV3#3
  
• Able to rouse a crowd of people from a society so downtrodden that the ability to smile has atrophied out of the gene pool. ^BV1#5
  
  • Writing one song is enough to uproot the entirety of said society and motivate Death to bring them back after dying even though he had lost the ability to do so. ^BV1#6
• Even God and Satan are fans. ^BV2#4
  
• Alien cultures that don't even speak English and who's entire cultures are predicated around war are brought to peace by hearing their music. ^BV3#1
  

Power

• Consistently blow out their amps while playing. ^EA
  
  • Blow out an amp and cause it to catch fire. ^LAE1
• Defeather a bird. ^CS1E1
  
• Shatter a porcelain cup. ^CS1E1
  
• Knock dozens of objects off of a nearby shelf and shatter windows. ^CS1E7
  
• A single resonant note is enough to knock out the Black Knight. ^CS1E7
  
• Even when hooked up to a boombox, are able to blow away people and tables. ^CS2E5
  
• After Bill rewires the amp, it causes Ted's guitar to melt through the floor. ^CS2E7
  
• After Station alters the amps a little, cause any avalanche. ^DH#4
  
• Destroy robots with their riffs alone. ^WS
  

Ghost Bill and Ted

• People can pass right through them, though it causes some unnerving (though not totally unpleasant) sensations. ^BJ
  
• Can possess the bodies of the living. ^BJ
  

Other

• Build the Great Wall of China in a couple days. Although not particularly well. ^CS1E1
  
  • They arrive in China on Saturday and have finished and leave before Monday. ^CS1E1
• Summon rain with an Incan rain dance. ^CS1E3
  
• Play a single player game co-op and one-handed. ^CS2E7
  
• Are able to beat Death at Battleship, Clue, Electronic Football, and Twister. ^BJ
  
  • And Monopoly. ^M#5
  • And Rock, Paper, Scissors. ^EHA17
• Can fly after being zapped by the F-Ray, which only convinces the brain that it is capable of flying, thus allowing it to fly. ^M#10
  
• Spend a week without sleeping and only eating snack foods trying to devise a plan to save Abraham Lincoln. ^M#11
  
• Are temporarily given God's divine enlightenment, able to see everything past and future, and on a micro and macro scale. ^BV2#4
  
• Surf on a black hole. ^BV3#3 They're obviously going through some form of spaghettification, but also given the size of the black hole, the audience, and the official helping them do it, it's likely that this black hole has been altered to be safe to surf.
  
• Have sex. ^BV1#1
  
• Do drugs. ^EHA00
  

Bill

Strength

• Knocks over the Liberty Bell with an elbow. ^CS1E5 The Liberty Bell weighs over 2000 lbs.
  
• Easily pitches and bats cannon balls that Ted had difficulty handling. ^CS1E9
  
• Knocks Ted into the air with an accidental headbutt. ^CS1E9
  
• Floors Monomonop with a yo-yo. ^M#8
  

Speed/Agility

• Pulls Ted out of the way of a flail. ^CS1E3
  
• Snatches a flying chip bag out of the air. ^CS2E2
  
• Bats a baseball pitched hard enough to leave a trail of flames. ^CS2E3
  
• Escapes from being grappled by swinging on a noose while the floor is dropped from under him. ^EHA92
  
• Ducks a bullet at close range. ^EHA08
  

Durability

• Takes a punch from Evil Robot Bill. ^M#7
  
• Takes a punch from Ronda Rousey. ^EHA16
  

Skill

• Spars with Joan of Arc. ^EA

Other

• Strong poker face. ^EA
  
• Folds a paper hat into a to-go box. ^CS1E1
  
• Rewires an amp which causes it to melt Ted's guitar through the floor. ^CS2E7
  
• Beats up the Invisible Woman using dark force powers gained as Darth Bogus. ^EHA05
  
  • Force chokes a man to the ground in an instant. ^EHA05
• Save nearly 70 people from being used as a virgin sacrifice. ^EHA13
  

Ted

Strength

• Knocks out a man in a leather helm with one strike. ^EA
  
• Accidentally sends Marco Polo flying with the swing of a broom. ^CS1E1
  
• Flicks a paper football hard enough to knock an apple into the air. ^CS1E2
  
• Breaks a wooden plank off on the T-800 Terminator, then knocks him into a well using a skateboard. ^EHA92
  

Speed/Agility

• Takes a tumble down the stairs hard enough to knock him out of his metalplate suit and somehow hides before anyone notices. ^EA
  
• Flip jumps to the top of the booth. ^CS1E5
  
• Dodges a swipe from behind from Vlad the Impaler. ^BV3#1
  

Durability

• Takes a tumble down the stairs hard enough to knock him out of his metalplate suit. ^EA
  
• Takes a headbutt to the chin that knocks him off of his feet and into the air. ^CS1E9
  
• Takes a full punch to the gut from Officer T. J. Hooker and brushes it off. ^EHA98
  
• Gets tackled to the ground and waled on by General Thade. ^EHA01
  
• Doesn't seem bothered touching a lightsaber with his bare skin. ^EHA05
  
• Gets smashed over the head with a guitar hard enough to crack it in half. ^BV1#4
  
• Thrown across the room onto the coffee table and is back on his feet shortly. ^BV2#1
  

Skill

• Flicks a paper football in such a way so that it flies around and knocks an apple off of Bill's head from the side. ^CS1E2
  
• Lassos the Black Knight while he's riding a horse full speed. But then forgets to keep a hold on the other end of the rope. ^CS1E7
  
• Briefly holds his own against an Italian fencer. ^LAE6
  

Other

• Reads the time and place text. ^CS1E1
  
• Starts a fire by rubbing George Washington's wooden teeth. ^M#8
  
• In a bad future where Ted was sent to military academy, he was able to double bust a corrupt cop by posing as a drug dealer. ^LAE4
  
• Kicks the Sith out of Darth Bogus. ^EHA05
  
• Gets with Taylor Swift. ^EHA13
  

Good Robot Bill and Ted

Robots created by the most brilliant mind in the universe, Station, to combat the powerful Evil Robot Bill and Ted. ^BJ

• The can be controlled via remote control but also seem to be capable of autonomous movement. ^BJ

Strength

• Punch through a brick wall. ^BJ
  
• Decapitate Evil Robot Bill and Ted with a punch, then cause their bodies to explode with a second punch. ^BJ
  
  • Evil Robot Bill and Ted no sell a punch to the chin from Bill and walk off crashing through a window and into a brick chimney. ^BJ
• Chew up a phone reciever. ^M#3
  
• Punch out the demonic Colonel Oats when the princesses couldn't faze him with their strikes. ^BV2#1
  
  • The princesses were smashing up musical equipment and sending other women flying with their strikes. ^BV1#6S
• High five each other hard enough to destroy each others' hands. Keep the Evil Robot Bill and Ted scaling in mind. ^DH#1
  
• Walk through a wall. ^DH#4
  

Durability

• Still functioning while demolished down to just their heads. ^M#7
  
  • Or arms. ^BV2#3
• Robot Ted gets blasted through several brick walls. ^BV3#4
  

They Run On Car Batteries

• They do. ^BV1#1S
  
• Electrocute two men to death when they try to stab them with rapiers. ^M#1
  
• Cause the booth to randomly jump when they electrocute it after touching some slushie material. ^M#12
  

Other

• Have tape recorders built in. ^M#3
  
• Can receive temporal emails, and promptly get a virus from this. ^BV1#1S
  
• Their code is written in a form of binary compose of "Bill"s and "Ted"s. With a source code constructed entirely of Van Halen references. ^BV1#1S
  
• Become presidents of the United States. ^BV1#2
  

Mecha Bill & Ted

• Rocket away from San Dimas to Scandinavia. ^DH#4
  
• Transforms from houses into humanoids form, piloted by Good Robot Bill & Ted. ^DH#4
  
• Beat up and send flying giant mountain trolls. ^DH#4
  

Mobile Suit Bill & Giganto-Ted

• Burst out of the sewers and through the streets, creating a massive tremor that could be felt from blocks away. ^BV1#6
  
• Disarm an entire crowd of guards with powerful magnets. ^BV1#6
  

The Time Booth

Time Travel

• A time machine that can travel to any place and time on earth after dialing a specific number. The number for each time and place is listed in an attached directory which catalogues most important points in history. ^EA
  
  • If Bill and Ted don't know what time or place they're looking for, they can ask the operator for help identifying a landmark. ^CS2E1
  • Can travel all the way back to the big bang. ^M#2
  • Is able to travel to and from "the center of time" which seems to exist outside of the regular timeline. ^M#6/7
• It is stressed multiple times throughout the series that even while time travelling, the clock in San Dimas is running, so Bill and Ted still have a limited amount of time to accomplish their goals while time travelling. ^EA This isn't well supported by other events and usages of the booth in the series, but it is a consistent concern regardless.
  
• Bill and Ted can use the Phone Booth to interact with themselves in the past, giving themselves needed equipment or advice. ^EA
  
  • Find a note of advice from themselves and then go back and leave the same note without having to even write it. ^AL
  • Get called to go forward from a few minutes beforehand to help out their future selves. ^EHA06
• Allow Bill and Ted to leave and then return to the exact same point in time, with 16 months of training in between. ^BJ
  
  • Further emphasizing that they can return to any point they want and San Dimas time doesn't matter. ^CS2E1
• A trip through spacetime can be cut short and will cause the booth to reappear at a median point. ^CS1E2
  
• A trip can also be reversed, allowing the booth to return to from where it just came. ^CS1E9
  
• A trip can be rerouted mid-stream without too much issue. ^CS1E10
  
• While this is not usually the case, as most time travel trips result in loops, drastically changing past events can lead to alternate present timelines. ^CS2E5
  
  • Bill and Ted use the booth to go back 15 minutes and redo a botched conversation resulting in a different outcome. ^LAE1
  • A closer to canon example. ^M#11
• Time travel 2 seconds into the future to catch an evil robot off guard. ^BV1#3
  
• Falling into the wormhole behind the phone booth can let someone travel through the circuits of time with it. ^EA
  
  • Rufus is able to follow a different phone booth using a grapple electric guitar, despite not being anywhere close to it when it time travels. ^BJ
  • The black knight and his horse are able to follow the booth. ^CS1E7
• Able to travel and be gone in the time it takes for a killer robot to aim and fire a vaporization beam. ^FtM
  
• Can travel to a point in time and space selected by an actual phone number in use at the time. ^CS1E8
  
• Can travel to a different point in space without changing time. ^CS2E8
  
• Elizabeth and Joanna apparently use the booth to travel to alternate timelines, though this mostly happens off screen. ^FtM
  
• Can travel to alternate dimensions entirely. ^M#10
  
• Travels to heaven. ^M#11
  
  • And hell. ^BV2#1
• Teleports from heaven to the earthly timeline, all the way to the Boomerang Nebula, and back in a matter of seconds. ^BV2#4
  
• Using the infinity button, allows the occupants to be multiplied infinitely to interact with all points in space and time simultaneously. ^FtM
  
• The booth can't travel if all of the circuits of time are currently occupied. ^CS2E5
  
• Travelers through the circuits of time can see other travelers in the same area. ^M#2
  
• The booth can seemingly track individuals in a specific time frame as shown by the fact that the future Bill and Ted were able to trick Bill and Ted into thinking they were rich and successful by being in the right place at the right time. ^FtM
  
• Rufus gives Bill and Ted a new booth that can trace the calls of other booths, though it tends to show up a little late. Also it's a rotary phone. ^M#2
  
• Rufus gives Bill a mobile phone which can call back the booth with the correct number. The first time its used however, it calls Doc Brown's Delorean instead. ^EHA92
  
  • Shown here actually working. ^EHA96
• When Ted uses a magazine to try and fix the antennae Bill and Ted end up going inside of the world of the magazine by accident. ^LAE1
  
  • By connecting the booth to a cable box, they're able to enter the worlds of television broadcasts, though it's entirely dependent on what the tv is currently turned to. ^LAE3

The Squint System
An upgraded directory that allows the booth to travel to fictional settings, including books, CDs, movies, and games. ^CS2E2

• Use the booth to enter an episode of Leave It to Badger. ^CS2E4
  
  • Can also use the booth to skip around within the episode. ^CS2E4
  • Once the episode ends, every person in it, including Bill and Ted, disappear. It looks like this. ^CS2E4
  • Foreign objects can persist between episodes, if they're plot relevant. ^CS2E4
• Can bring characters from the fictional world to the real world. ^CS2E4
  
• Characters in the fictional world are fully aware that they're fictional. ^CS2E4
  
• Altering the interior of the fiction does change how the fiction appears in the real world. Also might cause that fiction to become unavoidable? ^CS2E4
  
• Showing places that aren't supposed to be there reveals static. ^CS2E4
  
• Shrinks Bill and Ted down to smaller than a bottlecap when they forget to put the 1 in front. To reverse this effect, they simply dial 9. ^CS2E2
  

Durability

• [Limitation] When the booth's antennae get smashed by a knight's flail it can still travel fine but where and when it lands becomes uncontrollable. ^EA
  
  • [Limitation] A thrown frisbee knocks out the antennae, preventing the booth from time travelling. Ted is able to partially fix this with a magazine and a shoelace, though it causes the jumps to become uncontrollable again. ^LAE1
• Crash lands upside down and works perfectly fine. ^CS1E2
  
  • Tears through the roof of a tent, crash lands upside-down, and then falls onto its side. ^CS1E5
• Slides along the ground, crashing into a horse hard enough to launch it into the air, taking no damage. ^CS1E2
  
• Gets knocked off a crow's nest with a cannonball and tumbles to the deck of the ship without damage. ^CS1E4
  
• Gets run over by a train. ^CS1E8
  
• Tanks a fall from the top of Big Ben's clock face. ^CS1E8
  
• In a cabin as its demolished by a cannon, and protects the people within. ^CS1E9
  
• Smashes up the wooden walls of a log flume. ^CS1E11
  
• Takes several blasts of energy weapon fire and isn't damaged until one hits the antennae. ^LAE4
  
• Gets shot up by Billted 1.0's machine gun arm and has enough in it to make a trip before collapsing. ^BV1#4
  
• Vlad the Impaler has trouble breaking the glass with the hilt of his sword. ^BV3#1
  
• [Limitation] The floor breaks falling onto a bear's head. ^CS1E13
  
• [Limitation] Destroyed by a large boulder falling on it. ^BV2#3
  

Landing Strength

• [Limitation] While operating normally, it doesn't land hard enough to seriously harm an old man. ^CS1E5
  
  • But it did harm this guy. ^LAE1
• While malfunctioning however, digs a hole into the earth in a second. ^CS1E5
  
• Still while malfunctioning, crashes up through some wooden floorboards, knocking aside a dresser. ^CS1E5
  
• Demolishes a small kennel. ^CS1E6
  
• Smashes through a thick wooden roof. ^CS1E10
  
• Smashes through the deck of a ship. ^CS2E3
  
• Sends Columbus ricocheting around the Santa Maria. ^CS2E5
  
• Sends two cowboys a distance away flying from the shockwave. ^EHA92
  
• Smashes Billted 1.0 which is capable of flying straight through walls and windows without damage. ^BV1#3
  
• While malfunctioning, lands hard enough to crater concrete. ^BV1#4
  
• Smooshes a pair of demon spawn. ^BV2#4
  

Other

• Can still make a trip while on its side and is able to land normally. ^CS1E11
  
• It also works while water-logged. ^CS1E1
  
• Sideways AND waterlogged. ^S1E12
  
• It hovers in the air for unsaid reasons while malfunctioning. ^CS1E4
  
• Has some video recording and playback functions, though seemingly a preset one for display purposes. ^FtM
  
• When their regular booth gets blown up, Rufus lets them use a payphone on a stand to much the same effect. ^EHA02
  
• Can sometimes require coins to make calls with. ^NES
  
• It can also make regular calls. ^EA
  

"Catch ya later Bill and Ted!"

Today's games repulse me with their copycat, timid and shallow character. Though it seems like there is a variety of concepts flashing around, in practice games revolve around the same half-dozen tropes. Their hallmark sign is that it is nothing that is not seen on TV. If the game's idea is not a reflection of the modern world from someone who, by all appearances, has never read a real book or has experience to share, then it's Pirates in Some Carribean, or the Victorian Age When Jack the Ripper Roamed in a Black Cab, or the Middle Ages with Standard Treachery, or Abstract Space Exploration. I was sick and tired of this a few years ago, now I have all but given up on this art form. Even when the concept is interesting, it is rarely taken far or with force. Neutered developers are afraid to give offense and as a result make bland, short-breathing stuff, but I think the sharp edges are never there to begin with anymore. I don't know anybody who sets out to defy the world, stand apart from its simulations and blandishments and spit a good gob in its ugly square face.
I have never had an opportunity to make a game of my own (it takes a team besides everything else), but I have made mods for a very old RPG for years - new mechanics, plots, magic, quests, effects, scripts, writing and so on. I have more or less put that old engine on its head, though I know hardly anyone will ever find out about my efforts. This is to say that I am not a pure theorist. Some time in the winter, bored and exasperated, I decided to do a quick marathon of game ideas - for RPG, quests, simulations, something in-between - and see how many I can whip out on the run. I would like something from here picked up by a company, but I am not advertising. I realize that is probably not something that might happen. It was a good exercise for me, however. Here are the results for all to see. I did ten first, then three more occurred to me.
1 ) Circa Caotica
You play the role of Jabsh, a clown of a traveling circus, who suddenly discovers that he is no orphan but the son (Raka, daughter for female players) of the director, Maestro Leotardi. Minutes later after making the sobbing confession the boss is swallowed by the Crocodile Man in a suspicious accident. You have to own up to the unexpected legacy and step into the tight and tall boots of the director. Your responsibility is to keep the circus going by fine-tuning and inventing acts based on ideas solicited over regular all-troupe brainstorming sessions despite little starting respect from the others, who have decided to unionize as well (the mentalist takes notes). You must keep drawing in crowds to avert the bankruptcy, earn respect and manipulation points and find the truth behind Leotardi's death and the disappearance of the Big Green cashbox with everyone's last year salary and the medallion that supposedly bears the face of your mother the same evening. All the while you still have to perform in regular clown acts with your partner. You can play as a red clown or a white clown, and the other type will be your foil.
2) Nachtwaffe
"Ah, count. Decided to join me for a walk?" Vampires steal planes from the Nazi airforce to zoom through the dark skies over the Balkans and turn humans to make more of their own. You start out as a single nosferatu, converted from an arrogant German, and must find and raid small airports and landing strips across the forests and mountains of Roumania, impersonate a living officer to get supplies and fuel, avoid communist guerillas, find and build places to hide during the day and choose which humans to turn to expand your force. Naturally, it is all quite a dead end, as the war is bound to finish sooner or later, which radio broadcasts confirm, and what then will happen to the vampiric empire? But this is something that the gameplay begins to convey to the player gradually. Hopefully the fate of someone who has no future but still does his all will touch some dormant strings in players' hearts.
3) Yuck!
The sleepy Tibetan village of Dongtso is unaware of what lurks in the bushes and the mountains: you, the desperately lonely yak-man. Born with a big head and two horns, you have only one connection to civilization: the gold ring in your nose. Squinting cross-eyed, you can just make out some kind of symbols on it, and a banner over the village shrine features ones like them. This must be the key. You have to lurk about the supersititious hamlet, helping the folk at night and out of sight with small chores and evesdropping on their reactions and conversations until you can pick up a few words, including, at some point, "Hello." Since this is a game about Tibet and shaping up something rebellious, let the tongue be one of Tibet's many and accompanied by Tibetan script. You can train to pronounce the words when you dare show yourself to children, old people and widows, to improve from mooing to legible speech, but until then you have to dodge men's hunting parties and survive. With enough good deeds and a few friends, you might win the folk's confidence and stand before the village council so that someone might teach you to read. The quest becomes complicated, however, by the appearance of the army of People's Republic of China that establishes a base in the village in its push to subdue Tibet. The year is 1952. One of the newcomers is a local - a renegade llama who, the villagers say, has been on many supernatural journeys in the mountains, even to Shangri-La, but is now wearing the uniform of Tibet's conquerors. The writing on the ring, deciphered, identifies him as your father. What will happen next?
4) Footlocker
This is a soccer-themed RPG, but you view the sport from the point of view of a bookie besieged on all sides by mafia. To pay back his debt he resolves on a colossal set-up: first get control of an underdog team, then bring them at least to the regional semi-finals and, with the bets in their favor, make them lose in a big way. The thugs are ready to provide cash handouts, leg-breaking, knuckle sandwiches, addictive opioids and more to get the right people on the team and stubborn elements out, but at the cost of increased control and cut of the profits. You must balance their appetities with placating sports authorities, the press, sponsors and police. In the final match a dilemma presents itself: go through with the plan and ruin the team or defy the gangsters and take your chances on the right side of the tracks?
5) And See It Again For the First Time
Starting out from your homeland on three caravels, you unfurl the sails and set out to circumnavigate the world. The globe is randomly generated every time and rolls away at the horizon, with the map, continents and straits unknown beforehand, in the manner of River Raid. Your characters are the three ships and their crews, condition and supplies are their stats. Dropping anchor at strange shores and dealing with natives will be necessary but dangerous as they fight with each other, shuffle and migrate like microbes. Loss of crew can't be repaired. At least one of the ships must find the passages and make it to the fabulous Gate of Makhamedi, enter it from the far side and begin the journey home.
6) The Person and the Essence
In the beginning chapter you play Sauqin, second-in-command to general Varziranga, head of the army of the Arcolan Empire sent to quash the rebellion of Panlaa, who has tried to bring his province to secede. The imperial army has crushed Panlaa'a troops a fortnight ago and has got him shut in the Ravine of the Gold Specks. Complete victory is near, but the commander has been acting strangely since the battle. On this decisive night his behavior spins out of control just as Panlaa makes a sudden sally from his trap, causing great confusion. As his lieutenant, it falls to you to maintain order in dealing with the various officers as well as the clerics of the One, who insist that Panlaa, a lapsed pagan, be given to them for execution once he is captured. The ending of the chapter will determine whether Panlaa ends in the emperor's prison in the capital, Hotharsoom, alive or dead at the clerics' hands, whether Varziranga will be simply demoted or disgraced.
Chapter two will take place in the capital city. You will have been promoted to a top military command for your performance, only to become embroiled in an intrigue involving the emperor's controlling mother, a consequential schism in the church of the One over whether the head of state is eternally the same person reincarnated or a series of persons, demagogues in the public and lurking pagans with unclear motives. Other chapters will follow, and the endings will determine who sits on the throne and who stands behind it, whether state policy is in principle subject to revision and criticism or not and whether the pagan faiths are crushed without mercy or adopted into the church of the One. The material here is Byzantium, Egypt with the notion of the pharaoh as incarnate Horus and the empires of southeast Asia. Some early Christian heresies also deserve to be revivified.
7) Of Rats and Men
You are a rat trapped in the gears of the Trumpet of Doom, the hugest, heaviest and most advanced steam ship ever to paddle the Grumuous Sea. This basin is famously salty enough to let even an iron float for a time, which, the public money finally gathered, made it the perfect road to carry the 25-inch-gunned ("24 + 1 for Paterland!") Trumpet to the shores of Festaly and at last give those Festalians what for! The citizenry is cheering with patriotic joy, the brass bands are blowing. The ship rats are less happy, especially you, who were captain Reissenpouf's pet before you managed to scramble through a porthole and below the desk as he was buttering a toast. You are nearly panicky with fright. Unlike the locals there, you have spent time locked with the diagrams in the captain's safe and know that the battleship is very weakly armored below the waterline. Someone must have made a good bit of business during the construction selling the metal. When the Trumpet comes up against the Festalians with their triton suicides or their rumored counterpart ship, the Rough Musician, not even the Grumuous Sea will keep it from ending up as a gigantic, barnacled wreck on the ocean floor.
To avoid this fate you only have so much time to organize the other rats for systematic sabotage. The game's world is the enormous ship below and above the deck. The humans of the crew are, of course, adamant in their resolve to get themselves killed, so they will repair the servos, the cables turning the massive gears, the ball bearings, the hydraulics and the rest almost as quickly as those are destroyed. This effort will be headed by the near-transparent, monochrome spindle of a man, Admiral Hel, the leader of the expedition, always of his private high deck, sipping his black milk and staring through his spectacles ahead to where TOD's fate awaits it. If all of you ratfolk together gnaw through and spoil enough of the ship's devices, however, the captain might just have the authority to radio Kaiser Walzer of the decision to turn back... though you personally may also have to sneak back into his cabin to sit on his pillow and intone suggestions as he sleeps. The fact that you are an albino rat and at first come across as a crazy visionary doesn't help, and neither does being a female rat and having to give birth to a litter every so often. The current mate can be deputied on tasks while lactating. Other ships may sometimes be encountered in the sea, with different results, and you may improve your reputation in the murine community by predicting these encounters, if you check the looking glass often enough. The length of the game, and hence the difficulty, depends on the distance to Festalian waters - from two weeks' journey to three months.
8) Cosmic Choir
You play as one of the planets of the solar system. The other actors and your partners are the thieving and scurrilous Mercury, the lusty and sly Venus, the militant braggart Mars and so on. And you are the meh-in-the-middle Earth, and in this group of strong personalities stand out with your unique ability of Rational Decision (it would be nice to get Woody Allen for the voice acting, were he younger). Other planets have other powers, and all of them certain characteristics and appetites (for tasty meteorites, for more intimate or more standoffish orbits and so on). The plot revolves around the announcement of the Sun that it has had enough of burning hydrogen and wants to retire, going immediately into the red giant phase, which would, of course, burn up all of the inner planets and kick the outer planets way out. For this the star has recruited a planet-sized asteroid, large enough to pull most of the star fuel away so that the moribund transformation may be set in motion. The euthanatic dark planet is whirring ever closer. Before it gets on a near enough orbit to disrupt the Sun the other planets must find out what caused this sudden depression and persuade their ruler and source of life otherwise. (The answer is that the Sun has always dreamt of going nova but lacks substance.) Playing as the only inhabited planet, you must also keep the life forms on you alive through all of the maneuvering. If you can get Mars to cooperate, however, you may shorten the distance enough for humanity and some of the ecosystems to make the leap and found Musk City there, and then you won't have to care about your surface anymore.
9) Paris, 1245 A.D.
A meticulously researched simulation of the criminal underworld of medieval Paris and the worlds that abutted on it: those of the church, guilds, city watch, the university, lepers, the court and so on. No shortcuts and simplifications for babies who can't tell a Benedictine from a Cistercian. A dynamically filled encyclopedia may be included, though, and remain permanently unlocked for later replays. The main character is a vagrant and a thief. This may be a persistent sandbox, possibly a multiplayer RPG, or it may have a plot, but strictly within historical realities.
10) The Last Supper
You play the role of Jesus, son of God, in the company of the twelve disciples. The game should probably be in first person. (The Sermon of the Mount and such may be shown in cutscenes, or they may be challenges in quiz form.) The time period is your wanderings in Judea after the baptism and until the last night before the arrest. The background is the Judaic society at the time and its Roman controllers, somewhat historically accurate. This is a detective story, a wholldoit where you need to figure out who is best suited to betray you in due time so that you may prep him for the job and finally give him the impetus to "do it quicker" at the Last Supper. For Christ certainly needed someone to betray him. It's not always Judas: the identity of the potential traitor, along with his motives, will vary randomly between playthroughs. Incidents and encounters along the road, both recorded in the Bible and invented, will liven up the experience and better inform you about the personalities of the disciples, building on but going beyond what is known (Peter with his short temper, the lofty John an so on).
11) Cuadrophobia
Ships and the sea again. This time you are a typical sailor with an atypically strong survival instinct on one of the vessels in a colossal game of Battleship between Our Guy and the Other Player. Accordingly, there are two grids firing at each other: your side's and the enemy's, though you only get to travel across your own. The ship you begin on is chosen at random: it may be anything in size from a single-squarer to a five-squarer. Smaller ships are less likely to be hit, of course, but when a ship is finished, it sinks, and you with it. The purpose of the game is to survive until Our Guy's victory, which programmatically is likely but not guaranteed and happens about 70% of the time. To do this you must desert on a regular basis, setting out in a dinghy to a ship more favored in the current situation. However, the dinghy only travels three squares per turn, and you can only spend two turns in the open sea before dying. You also need time on board ships to access their radio broadcasts, which, besides playing some inspirational propaganda, update the picture of the grid as the battle rages. Without it you are limited to paddling to vessels that you can directly see. The role-playing element comes from dealing with ship commanders, who all take their duties and titles - captain of Cruiser! captain of Battleship! - very seriously, from picking up supplies in floating debris and from acquiring special abilities that let you, for example, paddle an extra square farther. Is war evil? Is it to be hated, or is our side to be cheered on? After all, if Our Guy loses, this will all have been in vain.
12) Standardom
In this game of life, dedicated to the International Organization for Standardization (ISO), you must pass through all of the Gates of Conformity to win your ultimate prize - death from old age, as opposed to suicide. The option to kill yourself is always available in the menu. Being the hero and chickenshit that you are, though, you are determined to submit to every humiliation just so you can press forward. The world of the game is a vertical platform that moves with you along the Y axis, which represents time from some random year forwards: you may begin at 100 B.C., 1824 A.D., 12749 j-Spec and so on. It is really all the same where on the timeline you are dropped off. As with other platformers, once the screen has moved, there is no going back. You can walk freely to the left and right, however, pick up bonuses, disarm threats and converse with characters. Going up, every so often the screen is intersected by a wall with a gate in it. Your character's silhouette must either match the cut of the gate or be smaller to pass through. You start out small as a baby, a little circle, but very soon handicaps such as Discovery of Talent, Unusual Upbringing, Independent Spirit or Love of Sex will begin to rush at you to complicate your silhouette with Г, & and other such protrusions. You will also grow in size until your late 20s. Luckily, opportunities will also present themselves to prune some of this exotica: Family, Steady Job, Political Engagement, Puppy, Human Interest and other bonuses can be found or obtained from conversations to simplify your puzzle to a manageable cut until such time as the years pile on and the worst is behind you. You will become smaller and smaller and able to rush through the checkpoints one after the other to the finish line.
13) Six Handshakes to Liberty
The country is suffering under a cruel dictatorship. Ar-Parason, the president-for-life, has wrung the last of resources from the nation and has now thrown it into a disastrous war. In his palace he is surrounded by guards armed to the teeth and without a shred of conscience to shoot the bastard. What can you, a humble microbiologist living in the suburbs, do about this? Nothing, it seems, until you discover a strain of bacteria that is absolutely deadly within weeks and immune to all known antibiotics except one, still not fully developed. The microbe is passed along by touch. Alas, you discover it when you become infected with it. You still have the resources to finish the research on the antibiotic and save yourself, but now you realize that you possess the perfect secret weapon to rid the country of the tyrant. Although you can't get so close to Ar-Parason in person, someone must enjoy that intimacy...
Every day you do your research at the computer, look through the press, then put on gloves and go out in search of people in contact with other people who will, you hope, ultimately carry the strain to its target. You have to follow news to figure out whose hands to shake and who to sleep with - secretaries, daughters of generals, corrupt officials - and many times the scheme will fall short of success. The chain of handshakes will terminate early somewhere, and these intermediaries will just die. But all those sacrifices are worth it, aren't they? You keep several intrigues going at once, determined to see one of them to the end. Meanwhile an epidemic is beginning in the country, Ar-Parason is starting to take precautions, and your own remaining time that could be spent on finishing the antibiotic is also running short. What is more important: life, revenge, justice, survival, honor? Your actions will be your decisions.

Looking to downsize and get rid of things I no longer have a use for. Feel free to offer on anything, but I'd prefer to bundle as much as possible. Local is 47403.

Case: https://imgur.com/a/DFkCKuy

Lian Li O11D (Original)	https://lian-li.com/product/pc-o11-dynamic/	Has been used for 2 years, nothing wrong with it as far as I could tell during disassembly. I do have the original box and accessories.	Looking to sell locally, unless someone is willing to pay for shipping. Ideally bundled with the other 2 parts. If not, I'd sell separately for $75
LINKUP - EZ Vertical GPU Bracket (Gen4x16)	https://www.amazon.com/LINKUP-Vertical-Bracket-Graphic-Holdedp/B091Q95ZXM?th=1	Apparently this is relatively universal, but I haven't looked for a list of compatible cases. I do not have the original box or any theoretical accessories.	Looking to sell locally, bundled with the case. Otherwise, I'd ask $50 Local or $60 shipped
Bitspower Touchaqua Sedna O11D	https://www.performance-pcs.com/water-cooling/reservoirs/bitspower-touchaqua-sedna-o11d-for-lian-li-o11-dynamic-front-pwm.html	I only ever ran clear fluid in this, but I also just deep cleaned it. The pump can be replaced with a DDC unlike some of the other Bitspower Distros that require you purchase their proprietary pump. I do not have the original box or the included opaque panel.	Looking to sell locally, bundled with the case. Otherwise, I'd ask $120 local or $130 shipped

​

Fans: https://imgur.com/a/YDFyg0s

Arctic P12 PWM PST	https://www.amazon.com/ARCTIC-P12-PWM-PST-Connessione/dp/B07GJGF56L/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3I5FKDOJ9ZYG0&keywords=Arctic+p12+pwm+pst&qid=1685755682&s=industrial&sprefix=arctic+p12+pwm+ps%2Cindustrial%2C98&sr=1-3	Used these for a couple years. Came together in a pack of 5. From what I can recall, one of them has an inconsistent bearing, but maybe it was just a symptom of my case and vertical mount placement. These were cleaned well, before posting.	Hoping to bundle all of these, but I suppose I'd sell these separately for $20 shipped
Arctic P12 PWM PST (SLIM)	https://www.amazon.com/ARCTIC-P12-Slim-PWM-PST/dp/B08QDKGCCW?th=1	Used two of these for a couple years, but one is brand new. These were cleaned well, before posting.	Hoping to bundle all of these, but I suppose I'd sell these separately for $20 shipped
ID-Cooling NO-12015-XT ARGB	https://www.amazon.com/ID-COOLING-Cooling-Cooler-Raidator-Chassis/dp/B09Z65X5RW	Used two of these for a couple years, but one is brand new. These were cleaned well, before posting. These also come with aftermarket spacers in case you want to mount them as intake on certain cases that cause issue. One of them has some yellowing in the center of the fan that can be seen if RGB is used.	Hoping to bundle all of these, but I suppose I'd sell these separately for $25 shipped
Thermalright TL-C12C-S X3	https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKKFBR9R	Brand new.	These are too cheap to bother selling separately, but I will gladly bundle them.
CoolerMaster MF120 Halo	https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081W8Y4F7	Brand new.	Hoping to bundle all of these, but I suppose I'd sell this separately for $20 shipped
Noctua NF-F12 Redux 1700RPM	https://www.amazon.com/Noctua-redux-1700-high-Performance-Award-Winning-Affordable/dp/B07CG2PGY6/ref=sr_1_3?crid=AK0SHCM09GKJ&keywords=NF-F12+redux&qid=1685755822&s=electronics&sprefix=nf-f12+redux%2Celectronics%2C94&sr=1-3	Used, but perfectly functional and clean, 120mm PWM Pressure optimized fan. Includes the multi-colored anti-vibration pads. Apparently the P12 is the budget variant of the F12, but they're probably close to identical.	Hoping to bundle all of these, but I suppose I'd sell this separately for $15 shipped

​

Watercooling: https://imgur.com/a/j7IUT8N

Alphacool NexXxoS ST30 Full Copper 360mm Radiator	https://www.amazon.com/Alphacool-NexXxos-Copper-Radiator-Triple/dp/B007R79E60	I used this once or twice over the span of 2 years, with clear fluids. It has a bit of discoloration in the exterior fins, but it worked fine for me. I flushed it recently with my hose and shook it quite vigorously, but you may want to do your own cleaning anyways.	I'm hoping to bundle most of this watercooling gear; otherwise, I'd sell this separately for $30 local, or $40 shipped
EKWB Coolstream Classic PE 360	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-coolstream-classic-pe-360	I used this for 2 years with clear fluid, but there was some plasticizer leach from my soft tubing. I tried my best to clean it via flushing with the above method, but you might want to do your own cleaning anyways.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $60 local, or $70 shipped
EK-Loop Leak Tester Flex	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-loop-leak-tester-flex	I don't think this was used more than a single time. I bought it second hand, but I was told it had been purchased in March. I already have a Barrow leak tester.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $20 local, or $25 shipped
EK-UNI Pump Bracket (120mm FAN) Vertical	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-uni-pump-bracket-120mm-fan-vertical	I can't recall how much use this saw, probably a couple builds. Has a bit of cosmetic damage.	Bundle only
EK-UNI Pump Bracket (140mm FAN) Vertical	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-uni-pump-bracket-140mm-fan-vertical	I can't recall how much use this saw, probably a single build. Might have a bit of cosmetic damage.	Bundle only
XSPC G1/4" Plug with 10k Sensor - Chrome	https://www.performance-pcs.com/water-cooling/fittings-connectors/xspc-g1-4-plug-with-10k-sensor-chrome-xspc-g14-10k-sensor-ch.html	Brand new	Otherwise, I'd sell for $12 shipped
Thermaltake Pacific C-PRO G1/4 16mm (5/8") OD Compression – Chrome (6 total)	https://www.thermaltake.com/pacific-c-pro-g1-4-petg-tube-16mm-od-compression-chrome-6-pack-fittings.html	bit of plasticizer leach, but still fully functional.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $20 local, or $30 shipped
Thermaltake Pacific G1/4 16mm (5/8”) OD Compression – Chrome (6 total)	https://es.thermaltake.com/thermaltake-pacific-g1-4-petg-tube-16mm-5-8-od-compression-chrome.html	Don't think these were used much at all.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $20 local, or $30 shipped
G1/4" Black Sparkle Rotary 90-Degree Extender (7 total)	https://shop.bitspower.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=643	Used throughout a few builds, bit of cosmetic damage or plasticizer leach.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $30 local, or $40 shipped
Corsair Hydro X Series, 90° Rotary Adapter - Chrome (4 total)	https://www.amazon.com/Corsair-Durability-Securely-Rotation-Mechanism/dp/B07WJVDNBB	Used throughout a few builds, bit of cosmetic damage if anything.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $15 local, or $20 shipped
Corsair Hydro X Series, Dual G1/4" 90-Degree Extender	I don't know what the hell this monstrosity is. Maybe it is corsair, maybe it isn't.	Only time I ever made use of this was when I needed to plumb a ball valve drain (they typically have a female g1/4). Has lots of cosmetic damage from attempting to remove the other end. The colors don't even match LOL.	Bundle only
Bitspower G1/4" Extender-30MM - Chrome (2 total)	https://shop.bitspower.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=2309	One is basically brand new and the other has a not so insignificant amount of plasticizer leach I cannot remove with soapy water.	Bundle Only
Bitspower Rotary Fitting "Q" - 360 Degree Water Cooling Accessory	https://www.performance-pcs.com/water-cooling/fittings-connectors/bitspower-rotary-fitting-q-360-degree-water-cooling-accessory-black-sparkle-finish.html	Bit of plasticizer leach in the top g1/4 threads.	Bundle Only
Alphacool 2-Way Ball Valve G1/4	https://www.amazon.com/Alphacool-17141-Black-Hardware-Cooling-Accessory/dp/B015YRMCPO	Used this in a couple builds. bit of cosmetic damage but fully functional and clean.	Bundle Only
EK-Quantum Torque Drain Valve	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-quantum-torque-drain-valve-black	Probably also only used once. Bought with the EK leak tester.	Bundle Only
EK-Quantum Torque 90 Degree Rotary - Nickle (6 total)	https://www.ekwb.com/shop/ek-torque-angled-90-black	One of them has a bit of cosmetic staining	Bundle Only
Primochill Liquid Utopia	https://www.primochill.com/products/primochill-liquid-utopia-15ml-bottle	Bought this recent from frozencpu's sale but there doesn't appear to be a way to identify any manufacturers date.	Bundle Only
NZXT Kraken G12 GPU Cooling Bracket	https://nzxt.com/product/kraken-g12	Came with some other stuff I bought, but I'll never use this. It is used, and I did my best to clean it up.	Otherwise, I'd sell for $10 local, $15 shipped
upHere GPU Anti-sag brace	https://www.amazon.com/upHere-Graphics-Anodized-Aerospace-Aluminum/dp/B076GYL25H	Used a couple times; cosmetic damage where the screw sits.	Bundle Only

​

Keyboard stuff:

Used Tezarre TK61 Pudding Keycap Optical Hotswap Keyboard: (Tape/Band-aid Mod, Lubed stabilizers + Gateron optical blacks) $55 shipped
BNIB EVGA Z12 Membrane gaming keyboards $15 (local only unless you're paying shipping)
Keyboard Accessories Bundle:Used Turquoise Resin Wrist RestUsed Gateron Milky Yellow Switches (Lubed and filmed)Used KBDFans Cherry Profile Cement Gray Japanese PBT KeycapsUsed Corsair Double-shot PBT keycapsUsed TaiHao ABS black/red/white keycaps (spares)Used RGB Shine-through PBT ASA LavaCaps (spares)$120 shipped
Timestamps: https://imgur.com/a/tQsrIbT

Peripherals:

ATH M50X headphones that were used a couple years (hence the pleather having been taken off due to peeling). These probably could use a new pair of earpads, but I did my best to deep clean these.$45 shipped
Wacom Intuos CTH-480 that has seen minimal use and has very little cosmetic damage on the back side. One of the best tablets you can use for osu! due to hover height and responsive latency.$60 shipped
GE UltraPro Surge Protector used for maybe a year including 7 outlets and 2 usb ports, 4 foot cord and 1500 joule protection rating$20 shipped
Timestamps: https://imgur.com/a/wDYSjNG
I'd also be willing to trade for a G-Wolves HSK Pro/Ace mouse.

I've shared fiction here before and it didn't go altogether too poorly, so I'm going to press my luck and do it again. This was written about a year ago, and I'm tired of trying to peddle it to lit magazines. Might as well share it here, know that it met a few eyeballs, and have done with it.
It's relevant to the sub insofar as it's about urban alienation and the working conditions at a small business run by IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE people. (I tried to pitch it as a story of the great resignation with a momentary flicker of cosmic horror.) It's based on a similar job I took on after getting laid off during the lockdown, and the circumstances of the main character's breakup are faintly similar to one I went through several years back (her job sucked the life out of her).
Without further ado:
* * *
It was getting close to midnight, and the temperature outside was still above 80 degrees. We’d locked up the shop at 10:15 and walked over to Twenty, the dive bar on Poplar Street, where a single wall-mounted air conditioner and four wobbly ceiling fans weren’t putting up much resistance against the July heat baking the place from the outside and the dense mass of bodies giving it a stifling fever from within.
Just now I came close to saying it was a Wednesday night, because that was usually when the cyclists descended upon Avenue Brew, the gritty-but-bougie craft beer and sandwich shop I was working at back then. Every Wednesday between March and November, about fifteen to twenty-five Gen Xers dressed in skintight polyester, all packages and camel toes and fanny packs, locked up their thousand-dollar bikes on the sidewalk and lined up for IPAs and paninis. They reliably arrived around 8:00, an hour before we closed, making it impossible to get started on the closing checklist and leave on time at 10:00. The worst of them were demanding and rude, and even the best got raucous and stubborn after a couple drinks. There were nights when bringing in the sidewalk tables couldn’t be done without arguing with them. Most were sub-par tippers, to boot.
After Wednesday came and went that week without so much as a single 40-something in Ray Bans and padded shorts stopping in to double-fist two cans of Jai Alai, we dared to hope the cyclists had chosen another spot to be their finish line from there on out. But no—they’d only postponed their weekly ride, and swarmed us on Friday night instead.
I was the last person to find out; I was clocked in as purchaser that evening. The position was something like a promotion I'd received a year earlier: for twenty hours a week, I got to retreat from the public and sit in the back room with the store laptop, reviewing sales and inventory, answering emails from brewery reps, and ordering beer, beverages, and assorted paper goods. When I put in hours as purchaser, my wage went up from $11 to $15 an hour, but I was removed from the tip pool. On most days, tips amounted to an extra two or three dollars an hour, so I usually came out ahead.
This was back in 2021. I don't know what Avenue Brew pays these days.
Anyway, at about 8:15, I stepped out to say goodbye to everyone and found the shop in chaos. Friday nights were generally pretty active, the cyclists' arrival had turned the place into a mob scene. The line extended to the front door. The phone was ringing. The Grubhub tablet dinged like an alarm clock without a snooze button. Danny was on the sandwich line and on the verge of losing his temper. Oliver was working up a sweat running food, bussing tables, and replenishing ingredients from the walk-in. The unflappable Marina was on register, and even she seemed like she was about to snap at somebody.
What else could I do? I stayed until closing to answer the phone, process Grubhub orders, hop on and off the second register, and help Danny with sandwich prep. After the tills were counted out, I stayed another hour to take care of the dishes, since nobody had a chance to do a first load. Oliver was grateful, even though he grumbled about having to make some calls and rearrange Sunday's schedule so I could come in a couple hours late. Irene and Jeremy, Avenue Brew's owners, would kick his ass if he let me go into overtime.
Danny suggested that we deserved a few drinks ourselves after managing to get through the shift without killing anyone. Not even Marina could find a reason to disagree with him.
The neighborhood had undergone enough gentrification to support an upscale brunch spot, an ice cream parlor, a gourmet burger restaurant, a coffee and bahn mi shop, and Avenue Brew (to name a few examples), but not yet quite enough that the people who staffed them couldn’t afford to live within a ten-minute walk from the main avenue where all these hep eateries stood between 24-hour corner stores with slot machines in back, late-night Chinese and Mexico-Italian takeout joints with bulletproof glass at the counters, and long-shuttered delis and shoe stores. Twenty on Poplar was the watering hole set aside for people like us. It was dim, a bit dilapidated, and inexpensive, and usually avoided by denizens of the condos popping up on the vacant lots and replacing clusters of abandoned row houses.
When we arrived, Kyle waved us over. He didn’t work at Avenue Brew anymore, but still kept up with a few of us. He was at Twenty at least four nights out of the week.
So there we all were. I sat with a brooding stranger freestyling to himself in a low mumble on the stool to my left and Oliver on my right, who tapped at his phone and nursed a bottle of Twisted Tea. To Oliver’s right sat Marina, staring at nothing in particular and trying to ignore Danny, who stood behind her, closer than she would have liked, listening to Kyle explain the crucial differences between the Invincible comic book and the Invincible web series.
I recall being startled back to something like wakefulness when it seemed to me that the ceiling had sprouted a new fan. I blinked my eyes, and it wasn’t there anymore. It reminded me of an incident from when I was still living with my folks in South Jersey and still had a car, and was driving home from a friend’s house party up in Bergen County. It was 6:30 AM, I hadn’t slept all night, and needed to get home so I could get at least little shuteye before heading to Whole Foods for my 11:00 AM shift. I imagined I passed beneath the shadows of overpasses I knew weren’t there, and realized I was dreaming at the wheel.
I was pretty thoroughly zombified at that point. Heather and I had broken up for good the night before, and I hadn't gotten even a minute of sleep. Calling out at Avenue Brew was tough. Unless you found someone willing to cover your shift on like six hours' notice, you were liable to get a writeup, a demotion, or your hours cut if you couldn't produce a doctor's note. So I loaded up on caffeine pills and Five-Hour Energy bottles at the corner store, and powered through as best I could.
I finished the last thimbleful of Blue Moon in my glass. Oliver wiped the sweat from the back of his neck with a napkin and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh at the KiwiFarms thread he was scrolling through. Pool balls clacked; somebody swore and somebody laughed. The TouchTunes box was playing Bob Dylan’s “Rain Day Woman #12 & 35,” and enough bleary 40-something men around the bar were bobbing their heads and mouthing the words to make it impossible to determine which one of them paid two bucks to hear it. A guy by the cigarette machine who looked like a caricature of Art Carney in flannel and an old Pixies T-shirt was accosting a woman who must have been a toddler when he hit drinking age, and she momentarily made eye contact with me as she scanned the area for a way out. Danny was shouting over the bartender’s head, carrying on a conversation with the Hot Guy from Pizza Stan’s, who was sitting on the horseshoe’s opposite arm.
I never got his name, but when Oliver first referred to him as the Hot Guy from Pizza Stan’s, I knew exactly who he meant. Philly scene kid par excellence. Mid-20s, washed-out black denim, dyed black hair, thick bangs, and dark, gentle eyes. He was only truly alluring when he was on the job, because he seldom smiled then—and when he smiled, he broke the spell by exposing his teeth, stained a gnarly shade of mahogany from too much smoking and not enough brushing.
“How’s Best? Marcus still a joker?” Danny asked him.
“Yeah, you know Marcus. You know how he is.”
So the Hot Guy had been working at Best Burger (directly across the street from Avenue Brew) ever since Pizza Stan’s owners mismanaged the place unto insolvency. (Afterwards it was renovated and reopened as a vegan bakery—which incidentally closed down about a month ago.) Danny used to work at Best Burger, but that ended after he got into a shouting match with the owner. I happened to overhear it while I was dragging in the tables and collecting the chairs from the sidewalk the night it happened. It wasn’t any of my business, and I tried not to pay attention, but they were really tearing into each other. A month later, Oliver welcomed Danny aboard at Avenue Brew. I hadn’t known he’d been interviewed, and by then it was too late to mention the incident. But I’d have been a hypocrite to call it a red flag after the way I resigned from my position as Café Chakra's assistant manager two years earlier—not that we need to go dredging that up right now. Let's say there was some bad blood and leave it at that.
Anyway, I was thinking about giving in and buying a pack of cigarettes from the machine—and then remembered that Twenty didn’t have a cigarette machine. I looked again. The Art Carney-lookalike was still there, fingering his phone with a frown, but the girl was gone—and so was the cigarette machine.
I had only a moment to puzzle over this before Danny clapped me on the shoulder and thrust a shot glass in front of me.
“Starfish!” he said. (Danny called me Starfish. Everybody else called me Pat.) “You look like you need some juice.”
He distributed shots to everyone else. Marina declined hers, but changed her mind when Kyle offered to take it instead.
She and Kyle had stopped sleeping together after Kyle left Avenue Brew to work at the Victory taproom on the Parkway, but Marina was still concerned about his bad habits, which Danny delighted in encouraging.
We all leaned in to clink our glasses. Before I could find an appropriate moment to ask Marina if I could bum a cigarette, she got up to visit the bathroom. Danny took her seat and bowed his head for a conspiratorial word with Kyle.
I watched from the corner of my eye and tried to listen in. Like Marina, I was a little worried about Kyle. He got hired at Avenue Brew around the same time I did, just before the pandemic temporarily turned us into a takeout joint. He was a senior at Drexel then, an English major, and sometimes talked about wanting to either find work in publishing or carve out a career as a freelance writer after graduating. But first he intended to spend a year getting some life in before submitting himself to the forever grind.
He read a lot of Charles Bukowski and Hunter Thompson. He relished the gritty and sordid, and had already been good at sniffing it out around the neighborhood and in West Philly before Danny introduced him to cocaine, casinos, strip clubs, and a rogue’s gallery of shady but fascinating people. (None were really Danny’s friends; just fellow passengers who intersected with the part of his life where he sometimes went to Parx, sometimes came out ahead, sometimes spent his winnings on coke, and sometimes did bumps at titty bars.) Kyle recounted these adventures with a boyish enthusiasm for the naked reality of sleaze, like a middle schooler telling his locker room buddies about catching his older brother in flagrante and seeing so-and-so body parts doing such-and-such things.
Marina hated it. She never said as much to me, but she was afraid that the template Kyle set for his life during his “year off” was in danger of becoming locked in. The anniversary of his graduation had already passed, and now here he was trying to convince Danny to contribute a couple hundred dollars toward a sheet of acid his guy had for sale. He wasn't doing much writing lately.
I was the oldest employee at Avenue Brew (as I write this I’m 37, but fortunately I don’t look it), and when Kyle still worked with us I felt like it was my prerogative to give him some advice. The longer he waited to make inroads, I once told him, the more likely he’d be seen as damaged goods by the publishing world. He needed to jam his foot in the door while he was still young.
I could tell the conversation bored him, and didn’t bring up the subject again.
The bartender took my glass and curtly asked if I’d like another drink.
“No thanks, not yet,” I answered.
She slid me my bill.
I missed the old bartender, the one she’d replaced. I forget her name, but she was ingenuous and energetic and sweet. Pretty much everyone had some sort of crush on her. Sometimes she came into Avenue Brew for lunch, and tipped us as well as we tipped her. Maybe three months before that night—Danny witnessed it—she suddenly started crying and rushed out the door. Everyone at the bar mutely looked to each other for an explanation. (Fortunately for Twenty, the kitchen manager hadn’t left yet, and picked up the rest of her shift.)
She never came back. None of us had seen her since. But drafts still had to be poured and bottlecaps pulled off, and now here was another white woman in her mid-twenties wearing a black tank top, a pushup bra, and a scrunchie, same as before. Twenty’s regulars grew accustomed to not expecting to see the person she’d replaced, and life went on.
“How’re you doing?” I asked Oliver, just to say something to somebody, and to keep my thoughts from wandering back to Heather.
“Just kind of existing right now,” he answered. His phone lay face-up on the counter. He was swiping through Instagram, and I recognized the avatar of the user whose album he hate-browsed.
“And how’s Austin been?” I asked.
“Oh, you know. Not even three weeks after getting over the jetlag from his trip back from the Cascades, he’s off touring Ireland.” He shook his head. “Living his best life.”
He’d hired Austin on a part-time basis in September. We needed a new associate when Emma was promoted to replace a supervisor who'd quit without even giving his two weeks. There was a whole thing. I'm having a hard time recalling the guy's name, but I liked him well enough. He was a good worker and he seemed like a bright kid, but he was—well, he was young. Naïve. One day he found Jeremy sitting in the back room with his laptop, and took advantage of the open-door policy to ask why the store manager and supervisors didn’t get health benefits or paid time off. Jeremy told him it "was being worked on," and that he couldn’t discuss it any further at that time. I understand the kid got argumentative, though I never knew precisely what was said.
Irene started visiting the shop a lot more often after that, almost always arriving when the kid was working. No matter what he was doing, she’d find a reason to intervene, to micromanage and harangue him, and effectively make his job impossible. A coincidence, surely.
It’s something I still think about. By any metric, Jeremy and Irene have done very well for themselves. They’re both a little over 40 years old. I remember hearing they met at law school. In addition to Avenue Brew, they own a bistro in Francisville and an ice cream parlor in Point Breeze. They have a house on the Blue Line, send their son to a Montessori school, and pull up to their businesses in a white Volkswagen ID.4. But whenever the subject of benefits, wages, or even free shift meals came up, they pled poverty. It simply couldn’t be done. But they liked to remind us about all they did to make Avenue Brew a fun place to work, like let the staff pick the music and allow Oliver and me to conduct a beer tasting once a day. They stuck Black Lives Matter, Believe Women, and Progress flag decals on the front door and windows, and I remember Irene wearing a Black Trans Lives Matter shirt once or twice when covering a supervisor's shift. None of the college students or recent graduates who composed most of Avenue Brew's staff could say the bosses weren't on the right team. And yet...
I'm sorry—I was talking about Austin. He was maybe 30 and already had another job, a “real” job, some sort of remote gig lucrative enough for him to make rent on a studio in the picturesque Episcopal church down the street that had been converted into upscale apartments some years back. Austin wasn’t looking for extra cash. He wanted to socialize. To have something to do and people to talk to in the outside world. He wanted to make friends, and all of us could appreciate that—but it’s hard to be fond of a coworker who irredeemably sucks at his job. Austin never acted with any urgency, was inattentive to detail, and even after repeated interventions from Oliver and the supervisors, he continued to perform basic tasks in bafflingly inefficient ways. Having Austin on your shift meant carrying his slack, and everyone was fed up after a few months. Oliver sat him down, told him he was on thin ice, and gave him a list of the areas in which he needed to improve if he didn’t want to be let go.
When Austin gave Oliver the indignant “I don’t need this job” speech, it was different from those times Danny or I told a boss to go to hell and walked out. Austin truly didn’t need it. He basically said the job was beneath him, and so was Oliver.
It got deep under Oliver’s skin. He did need the job and had to take it seriously, even when it meant being the dipshit manager chewing out a man four or five years his senior. He earned $18 an hour (plus tips when he wasn’t doing admin work), had debts to pay off, and couldn't expect to get any help from his family.
The important thing, though, the part I distinctly remember, was that Oliver was looking at a video of a wading bird Austin had recorded. An egret, maybe. White feathers, long black legs, pointy black beak. Austin must have been standing on a ledge above a creek, because he had an overhead view of the bird as it stood in the water, slowly and deliberately stretching and retracting its neck, eyeing the wriggling little shadows below. As far as the fish could know, they were swimming around a pair of reeds growing out of the silt. The predator from which they extended was of a world beyond their understanding and out of their reach.
The video ended. Oliver moved on to the next item: a photograph of the bird from the same perspective, with a fish clamped in its beak. Water droplets flung from the victim's thrashing tail caught the sunlight. And I remember now, I clearly remember, the shapes of like twelve other fish stupidly milling about the bird's feet, unperturbed and unpanicked.
Danny peered at Oliver’s phone and observed a resemblance between the bird—its shape and bearing, and the composition of the photograph—and a POV porn video shot from behind and above, and he told us so. Elaborately. He made squawking noises.
“And mom says I’m a degenerate,” Oliver sighed. “Can you practice your interspecies pickup artist shit somewhere else?” Oliver flicked his wrist, shooing Danny off, and held his phone in front of his face to signal that he was done talking.
Danny sagged a little on his stool and turned away. I sometimes felt bad for him. For all his faults, he had the heart of a puppy dog. He really did think of us as his tribe. There was nobody else who’d only ever answer “yes” when you asked him to pick up a shift, and he did it completely out of loyalty.
He was turning 29 in a week. I wondered how many people would actually turn out to celebrate with him at the Black Taxi. Kyle probably would—but even he regarded Danny more as a source of vulgar entertainment than a friend.
Then it happened again. When I turned to speak to Oliver, there’d been a pair of pool cues leaning side-by-side against the wall a few stools down. Now they were gone.
This time it might have been my imagination. Somebody passing by could have casually snatched them up and kept walking.
But a moment later I seemed to notice a second TouchTunes box protruding from the wall directly behind me. I let it be.
Marina returned from the bathroom. Danny rose and offered her back her seat with an exaggerated bow. Before she got settled, I asked if she’d like to step outside with me. She withdrew her pack of Marlboro Menthols from her canvas bag, which she left sitting on the stool to deter Danny from sitting back down.
Marina never minded letting me bum cigarettes from time to time. I couldn’t buy them for myself anymore; it’s a habit I could never keep under control, and was only getting more expensive. Like everything else in the world. About once a month I reimbursed her by buying her a pack.
The air out on the sidewalk was as hot as the air inside Twenty, but easier to breathe. After lighting up, Marina leaned against the bricks and sighed.
“I wish Oliver would fire Danny already and get it over with.”
I nodded. Marina rarely talked about anything but work.
“He sneaks drinks and doesn't think anyone notices he's buzzed,” she went on. “He steals so much shit and isn’t even a little subtle about it. He’s going to get Oliver in trouble. And he’s a creep.”
“Yeah,” I said. These were her usual complaints about Danny, and they were all true. “At least he’s better than Austin.”
“That’s a low bar.”
Three dirt bikes and an ATV roared down the lonely street, charging through stop sign after stop sign, putting our talk on hold.
“Remind me. You’ve got one semester left, right?” I asked after the noise ebbed.
“Yep.”
Marina was a marketing major at Temple. She’d had an internship during the spring semester, and her boss told her to give her a call the very minute she graduated. Her parents in central Pennsylvania couldn’t pay her rent or tuition for her, so she was a full-time student and a full-time employee at Avenue Brew. Her emotional spectrum ranged from "tired" to "over it." She’d been waiting tables and working at coffee shops since she was seventeen, had no intention of continuing for even a day longer than she had to, and feared the escape hatch would slam shut if she dallied too long after prying it open.
She’d considered majoring in English, like Kyle. She went for marketing instead. I couldn’t blame her.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You’ve been kind of off all day.”
“I’m terrible.”
“Why?”
I gave dodgy answers, but she asked precisely the right follow-up questions to get me going about what happened with Heather the night before.
It was the new job. Before the pandemic, Heather worked as a server at a Center City bar and grill. (That's where I met her; we were coworkers for about a year, and then I left to work Café Chakra because it was quieter and closer to where I lived.) When the place closed its doors and laid everyone off during the lockdown, she got a stopgap job at the Acme on Passyunk, and hated it. Then in March, she found a bar-and-lounge gig in a ritzy hotel on Broad Street. Very corporate. Excellent pay, great benefits. Definitely a step up. But her new employers made Irene and Jeremy look like Bob and Linda Belcher by comparison. It was the kind of place where someone had recently gotten herself fired for leaving work to rush to the hospital after getting the news that her grandmother was about to be taken off life support, and not finding someone to come in and cover the last two hours of her shift.
Heather seldom worked fewer than fifty-five hours a week, and her schedule was even more erratic than mine. At least once a week she left the hotel at 1:00 or 2:00 AM and returned at 9:00 the next morning. Neither of us could remember the last time she’d had two consecutive days off, and it had been over a month since one of mine overlapped with one of hers. She’d spent it drinking alone at home. All she wanted was some privacy.
I’d biked to South Philly to meet her when she got home at 1:30. The argument that killed our relationship for good began around 2:30, when I complained that we never had sex anymore. Heather accused me of only caring about that, when she was so exhausted and stressed that her hair was falling out in the shower. Quit the job? She couldn’t quit. The money was too good. She had student loans, medical bills, and credit card debt, and for the first time in her life she could imagine paying it all off before hitting menopause.
So, yeah, I was cranky about our sex life being dead in the water. Say whatever you like. But at that point, what were we to each other? We did nothing together anymore but complain about work before one or both of us fell asleep. That isn’t a relationship.
She said my hair always smelled like sandwiches, even after bathing, and she was done pretending it didn’t turn her off. I told her she was one to talk—she always reeked of liquor. As things escalated, we stopped caring if her roommates heard us. “You want to be a father?” she shouted around 4:00 AM. “Making what you make? That poor fucking kid.”
We fought until sunrise, and I left her apartment with the understanding that I wouldn’t be coming back, wouldn’t be calling her ever again. I biked home and sat on the steps facing the cement panel that was my house’s backyard. After my phone died and I couldn’t anaesthetize myself with dumb YouTube videos or make myself feel crazy staring at the download button for the Tinder app, I watched the sparrows hopping on and off the utility lines for a while.
At 11:40 I went inside. One of my roommates was already in the shower, so the best I could do was put on a clean Avenue Brew T-shirt before walking to the shop and clocking in at noon to help deal with the lunch rush.
“That’s a lot,” Marina finally said. “Sorry.”
I don’t know what I was expecting her to say. She was sixteen years my junior, after all, and just a coworker. She didn’t need to hear any of this, and I definitely didn't need to be telling her. But who else was there to tell?
She’d already finished her cigarette. I still had a few puffs left. She went inside.
I decided to call it a night.
The second TouchTunes box was gone—naturally. Danny had taken my stool, and regarded my approach with a puckish you snooze you lose grin. I wasn’t going to say anything. I’d just pay my bill, give everyone a nod goodnight, and walk the five blocks back home.
And then Danny disappeared.
One second, he was there. The next—gone.
Danny didn’t just instantaneously vanish. Even when something happens in the blink of an eye, you can still put together something of a sequence. I saw him—I seemed to see him—falling into himself, collapsing to a point, and then to nothing.
You know how sometimes a sound is altogether inaudible unless you’re looking at the source—like when you don’t realize somebody’s whispering at you, and can then hear and understand them after they get your attention? I think that was the case here. I wouldn't have known to listen if I hadn't seen it happen. What I heard lingered for two, maybe three seconds, and wasn't any louder than a fly buzzing inside a lampshade. A tiny and impossibly distant scream, pitchshifted like a receding ambulance siren into a basso drone...
I don’t know. I don’t know for sure. I’m certain I remember a flash of red, and I have the idea of Danny’s trunk expanding, opening up as it imploded. A crimson flower, flecked white, with spooling pink stalks—and Danny’s wide-eyed face above it, drawn twisting and shrinking into its petals.
For an instant, Twenty’s interior shimmered. Not shimmered, exactly—glitched would be a better word. If you’re old enough to remember the fragmented graphics that sometimes flashed onscreen when you turned on the Nintendo without blowing on the cartridge, you’ll have an idea of what I mean. It happened much too fast, and there was too much of it to absorb. The one clear impression I could parse was the mirage of a cash register flickering upside-down above the pool table.
Not a cash register. The shape was familiar, but the texture was wrong. I think it was ribbed, sort of like a maggot. I think it glistened. Like—camo doesn’t work anymore when the wearer stops crouching behind a bush and breaks into a run. Do you get what I’m saying?
Nobody else seemed to notice. The pool balls clacked. A New Order track was playing on the TouchTunes box. A nearby argument about about Nick Sirianni continued unabated.
Finally, there was a downward rush of air—and this at least elicited a reaction from the bartender, who slapped my bill to keep it from sailing off the counter.
“Danny,” I said.
“Danny?” Kyle asked me quietly. His face had gone pale.
“Danny?” Oliver repeated in a faraway voice.
After a pause, Kyle blinked a few times. “You heard from him?”
“God forbid,” said Marina. “When he quit I was like, great, I can keep working here after all.”
“Oh, come on—”
“Kyle. Did I ever show you those texts he sent me once at three in the morning?” The color had returned to Oliver’s face.
“No, what did he say?”
Oliver tapped at his phone and turned the screen toward Kyle.
“Oh. Oh, jeez.”
“Right? Like—if you want to ask me something, ask me. You know? Don’t be weirdly accusatory about it…”
I pulled a wad of fives and ones from my pocket, threw it all onto the counter, and beelined for the exit without consideration for the people I squeezed through and shoved past on the way.
I heard Marina saying “let him go.”
I went a second consecutive night without sleep. Fortunately I wasn’t scheduled to come in the next day.
The schedule. It’s funny. Oliver was generally great at his job, and even when he wasn’t, I cut him a lot of slack because I knew Irene and Jeremy never gave him a moment’s peace. But I could never forgive him those times he waited until the weekend to make up and distribute the schedule. This was one of those weeks he didn’t get around to it until Saturday afternoon. When I found it in my inbox, Danny’s name wasn’t anywhere on it.
As far as I know, nobody who hadn’t been at Twenty that night asked what happened to him. We were a bit overstaffed as it was, and everyone probably assumed Danny was slated for the chopping block. The part-timers were, for the most part, happy to get a few additional hours.
Oliver abruptly quit around Labor Day after a final acrimonious clash with the owners. I never found out the details, and I never saw him again. Jeremy and Irene took turns minding the store while a replacement manager was sought. None of the supervisors would be pressured into taking the job; they knew from Oliver what they could expect.
About three weeks after Oliver left, I came in for my purchasing shift and found Jeremy waiting for me in the back room. I knew it was serious when he didn’t greet me with the awkward fist-bump he ordinarily required of his male employees.
“You’ve seen the numbers,” he said. Business for the summer had fallen short of expectations, it was true, and he and Irene had decided to rein in payroll expenses. My purchaser position was being eliminated. Its responsibilities would be redistributed among the supervisors and the new manager, when one was found. In the meantime, I'd be going back to the regular $11 an hour (plus tips of course) associate position full-time.
Jeremy assured me I'd be first in the running for supervisor the next time there was an opening.
I told him it was fine, I was done, and if he’d expected the courtesy of two weeks’ notice, he shouldn’t have blindsided me like that.
“Well, that’s your choice,” he answered, trying not to look pleased. His payroll problem was solving itself.
I racked up credit card debt for a few months. Applied for entry-level museum jobs that might appreciate my art history degree. Aimed for some purchasing and administrative assistant gigs, and just for the hell of it, turned in a resume for a facilitator position at an after-school art program. Got a few interviews. All of them eventually told me they’d decided to go in a different direction. I finally got hired to bartend at Hops from Underground, a microbrewery on Fairmount.
I’m still there. The money’s okay, but it fluctuates. Hours are reasonable. I’m on their high-deductible health plan. There’s a coworker I’ve been dating. Sort of dating. You know how it goes. In this line of work you get so used to people coming and going that you learn not to get too attached. I walk past Avenue Brew a few times a week, but stopped peering in through the window when I didn't recognize the people behind the counter anymore.

Howdy, and welcome the seventeenth installation of the Spirit Island subreddit Spirit Spotlight series! This series will cover all spirits in the game to provide a chance to give your thoughts onto a specific spirit. The intent is for these posts to include discussion on anything relating to the spirit so long as the spirit is the focus of the discussion. Some examples include:

1. Core discussion: Thoughts on the spirits unique powers, innate power(s), and/or special rule(s)
2. Diversity: Favorite growth patterns for the first and second turns
3. Optimization: Different strategies that can be taken when playing the spirit with specific allied spirits or against certain adversaries that fundamentally change the way you play the spirit
4. Learning: Questions about the spirit and it’s strategies

The above are just examples, feel free to branch the conversation out in any direction the conversation flows but try to keep the spotlighted spirit for the week the centerpiece of the conversation. This week's Jagged Earth spirit is one that I can't seem to play as well as I’d like, so I hope y'all have some good advice for me here: Lure of the Deep Wilderness.
Note: It can be helpful to mark what difficulty you normally play at so people have an understanding of where your perspective is coming from, as these types of discussions can change drastically for players at difficulty 0 vs 5 vs 10.
I can’t wait to see what yall have to say this week as this is one of the spirits that I always find myself struggling to do well with.
Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8 Week 9 Week 9 Week 10
Week 11 Week 12 Week 13 Week 14 Week 15 Week 16

Electricity is a powerful and beneficial tool that we use every day to power our homes and appliances. However, it can also be dangerous if not used properly. Electrical safety hazards are a common cause of accidents and injuries at home. Shockingly, many people are not aware of the potential dangers and how to prevent them. In this article, we will explore five common electrical safety hazards at home and provide you with tips on how to prevent them. Whether you are a homeowner, renter, or simply someone who wants to be more informed about electrical safety, this article will provide you with valuable information to keep you and your loved ones safe.

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1. Electrical hazard: Wet Conditions

One of the most common electrical safety hazards at home is wet conditions. Water and electricity don't mix, and when they do, it can be a recipe for disaster. Wet conditions can cause short circuits, electrical shocks, and even fires. This is why it's so important to make sure that your electrical outlets and appliances are kept dry. If your home has any areas that are prone to getting wet, such as the bathroom or kitchen, you must take extra precautions. For example, you can install ground-fault circuit interrupters (GFCIs) in areas where water is present. These devices can detect any electrical current that is flowing through water and will shut off power to the outlet immediately. It's also essential to keep any electrical appliances, such as hairdryers and curling irons, away from water sources. It only takes a small amount of water to cause an electrical shock, so be sure to keep all electrical appliances and cords dry. By taking these simple precautions, you can help prevent electrical hazards and keep your home and family safe.

1. Electrical hazard: Outdated Electrical Systems

Link:e of the most common electrical safety hazards at home is outdated electrical systems. Many older homes have electrical systems that are not up to the current safety standards. These systems may have exposed wiring, overloaded circuits, or other issues that can cause electrical hazards. Outdated electrical systems can also be a fire hazard, which can put your family's safety at risk. To prevent this hazard, it's important to have your electrical system 10kW Solar System Sydney inspected by a licensed electrician. They can identify any issues and provide you with the necessary upgrades to ensure your home meets the current safety standards. Upgrading your electrical system may include replacing old wiring, upgrading your circuit breaker, or installing new electrical outlets. These upgrades can help keep your family safe from electrical hazards and give you peace of mind knowing that your home is up to the latest safety standards. Remember, electrical safety is not something to take lightly, so it's important to stay vigilant and take the necessary steps to keep your home safe.