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Things are happening!
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The new album is well underway :) Sorry it’s been so long since our last email, things have been pretty busy in our personal lives over the last year (in case you didn’t know, Britt and Scott had a baby girl last October!) So we wanted to reach out and just give you a little update on what’s going on in the world of UTA! We took 2022 off from touring to write a new album, as it can be really hard to focus on new music when you’re constantly having to stay in shape to play live. By December we had ten demos that we were happy with and scheduled studio time for the spring. We rented a studio on Vancouver Island and stayed in an airbnb together (with a six month old as well haha!) for the entire month of April so we could stay distraction-free. We wrapped tracking on April 31st but Brittney did a few more solo sessions in May to record some harmonies and a few vocal lines that were missed. The tracks are now in the insanely talented and highly capable hands of Jacob Hansen, who will be taking on the mixing and mastering duties for us once again. During our time on the island we also did a photo shoot with our favourite photographer, Shimon Karmel, and shot a performance video with the boys over at RuneGate Studio; we can’t wait for you to see all their hard work and should be posting sneak peeks soon! In case you are wondering, yes this will be a concept record, and no it does not follow the story from Apex & Abyss. This is an entirely new world with new characters and we think you’re really going to like it! Brittney will be sure to do her Track-By-Track videos to explain the story like always, but we’d love to hear what you think the next album is going to be about ;) We are waiting on a release date from Napalm but we think you’ll get your first taste of singles this fall. Make sure to follow us on Instagram so you don’t miss out on the announcement!
INSTAGRAM
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We also wanted to let you all know that we just happened to find 50 copies of our Explorers EP on the shelves at IndieMerch that had mistakenly been archived! We got them shipped up to us and will be holding a lottery to give everyone a fair chance to get their hands on a copy. Make sure to join our Discord channel as we will be announcing how to enter the lottery on there before posting it anywhere else!
DISCORD
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Lastly, we just wanted to thank you all so much for your patience and support over the last couple of years. A lot of you had tickets to our shows that were cancelled in 2021 and we want you to know that we haven’t forgotten about you! We are working on eastern Canadian dates as well as dates in Europe to coincide with the release of the new album. We are also starting to confirm festivals for next summer and should begin announcing those shortly. Touring is going to be different for us now that Scott and Britt have a kid, but they promise they are going to make it work somehow, someway ;) Can’t wait to see you all on the road very soon! Keep in touch! UTA \m/

I'm looking at a new 75-in TV as I'm going to be moving my video P75F to a flex room.
I'm looking to spend no more than $1400-1500 for a 75" set which will go in my living room for most daily viewing. We get a lot of natural light in the room but I have a few windows behind the seating area and can see the reflection in my Vizio at night.
Does the q7 or the r655 have anti-reflective/ glare properties??
Also, is there a big difference between the two and have you found them to be reliable / not have to play the panel lottery? I figured the 655 will probably get cheap by July/ august.
I won't be playing video games on the new set as I have a game room with a Sony 900f that I love.
So basically it's coming down to a TCL, Sony 90k or U8H

Father owns a house in NJ that he doesnt live in currently and is completely renovating. Today he got a call from a company who told my father that his neighbor hired him to dig up and replace his well pump and wires. Guy said he made a mistake and dug up and replaced my father's well pump and wires by accident, he said he needed to dig down 300 feet to get to it. He told my father is was an honest mistake because my father's well pump is right on the property line
Guy is telling my dad he can dig again and remove the new pump and install his original and there will be no cost or he can give me dad a really good price on the new well pump installed
He then went on to tell my dad that his well pump was old and looked to be going out anyways so it was most likely needed to be replaced soon
This sounds like a scam. Thoughts?
Thanks

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I had a bad experience at Taco Bell yesterday, whatever didn't think much of it. Later that evening I started getting prank calls from a blocked number calling me a whore, telling me they knew my name and where I lived and proceeded to recite my address. They said I better 'watch myself'. They found my social media accounts and tried to spam me there, they sent me a cashapp request for $300 (I haven't used the app in years) which was odd. And they messed up and called from an actual phone number that showed me a name. I was able to look it up and find the registered address which is in the vicinity of the Taco Bell.
I tried to get the employees name but I can't seem to get a straight answer as the manager is protecting her. I tried calling corporate and spent an hour and a half on hold. I am concerned that this employee was able to get my information and do this. I'm pretty sure a law or two was broken here.
Do I have any recourse here? Is there anything I can do? Local precinct said that without a name I can't file a report, and I'm too afraid to go back to find out. This all happened in NJ by the way.

Heyy! My name is Robin and I'm looking for a gaming buddy who's 15+ but not older than 30! I live in NJ, and I mainly play DBD on my PC and Minecraft on my PlayStation. I also play wizard101, if anyone's into that. I can give out my discord in DMs.
Please don't be weird with me, and please respect the age range I will game with. Thanks and I hope we can be gaming buddies!

Just got hired to work at a doctor's office for a big name lab. I live in NJ where weed is legal. Can they deny me the job if I'm positive for weed? At my last job I wasn't tested for it but this was a 10panel test. I'm nervous now.

Does anyone know of a reputable supplier to buy white-worms from? I’m always a little worried when buying something living and having it shipped.
Thanks for reading
I’m in NJ (US).

CHAPTER ONE
I saw a light in the sky and he came down from it
That was a courtesy
What was ?
The light
What do you mean ? Who are you ?
Look I hate to be rude but we kinda need you, are you in ?
Are you God ?
If I say yes would you be more or less likely to help me ?
I don’t know.
Then, yes, I’m God, and I need your help
If you’re God, why do you need my help ?
I’m not God, I just said that to get you to help me. I’m sorry but I’m in a rush, are you in or are you out ?
I don’t even know what you’re asking
I’ll tell you on the way
We were in a big house. There was one of those double stairs that led up to one landing, then split again and met at the next landing. They went on and on, I couldn’t see where they ended.
You do not wanna know where that stairway goes
Where does it go ?
He gave me a look that made me feel stupid.
Every landing seemed to go on forever, just rows of heavy wooden doors as far as the eye could see. I turned 90 degrees and felt a bit funny, but couldn’t quite place why. Just rows of doors forever, same as before. I turned again. Now I was facing the opposite way to when I came in. There was what looked like a front door, twice my height, with a gold doorknob on it. But above that door I could still the landings. And the doors. They still went on forever. I turned again, expecting to see it but still unable to comprehend it when I actually saw it. The doors, going on forever. Again.
Oh yeah, I forget sometimes that you people are three dimensional, I swear it makes sense when I look at it. Come on, we don’t have much time.
We turned, and where I was sure there was a blank wall was now a golden arch. There was some fog coming through it, and lights flashing red and blue in an otherwise darkened room.
It’s a rave from your world, frozen in time. It’s along the shortest path to where we’re going.
We walked through the rave. I was trying to nudge past people. He floated up and delicately walked across their heads.
Spend some time here and you’ll figure out how to do this, the rules don’t apply here like they do in your world.
I believed him.
I looked around. The very silent disco went on forever in every direction.
When we reached the back, there was another golden arch. This one led to a room with a counter in the middle of the floor. There were pens on the counter, and pieces of paper, and a large sheet of glass. There was a woman on one side of the counter, and two men on the other. They were wearing masks. One of them had a gun drawn. There was a bullet between the end of the gun and the woman’s head
Uh oh, I wonder how she’ll get out of this one
She gets out of this ?
I mean, I can’t see what happens beyond the moment we're in any more than you can, but I highly doubt it. Come on we’re not there yet.
Somehow, the counter stretched on forever
The final room certainly did not stretch on forever. It was barely two metres in any direction. There was a table and a chair, the only problem was the table went from one wall to the other, and I would have to gracelessly clamber across the table in order to sit in the chair. But then I was in the chair. Another guy walked in.
Apologies for the suspense, do you have any questions ?
I don’t know
Nothing ? Not even a why am I here ? Not even a why me ?
Why am I here ? Why me ?
You were right, they really do ask the worst questions. Glad you asked ! First things first, do you know what a universe is ?
Everything ?
That’ll do, but what if I told you that there were even more everythings ? And they were everywhere, all at once ?
I don’t follow.
Imagine you decided not to come with us today, your life would have taken a different turn, you wouldn’t be sitting at that table right now. Following so far ?
Sure
Great ! So you making a different choice results in something being different, something is a part of everything, so everything is different. Your choices change everything, which is real neato, as the kids are saying. So let’s say there was a way to explore all these different possibilities, let’s say you could look at what you life would be like if you had made those different choices, all those everythings would be different, and you would have a different…?
Universe ?
That’s right ! You are very clever ! So if we have multiple universes, we can map out what we call a -
Multiverse ?
How did you know ? Wow I actually was impressed that time
I saw 2 movies that mentioned it in 2 weeks.
Ha-ha, maybe this version of you did. Anyway, I'm having too much fun, imagine you said “I am going to interact with every multiversal version of me except the one that smells like fish all the time”, and somehow, against all the odds, you succeeded. That'd be cool, wouldn't it ?
Ok
But, you may be thinking to yourself, what about the timeline where you say to yourself “I am going to visit every version of myself except the one where I have a big forehead ? Or have acne ? Or live in a pineapple under the sea ? Or any other number of things ? Assuming you could succeed at any of these things, it’d be impossible to succeed at all of them. That's where we get the omniverse from. Think of it as being above the multiverses. And it lets us keep track of all of them simultaneously
Is there more ?
More ?
More layers ? Are there infinite omniverses and infinite somethings above them ?
Would you be capable of caring about it if I told you there were ?
I don’t know
Basically what we want is a bit of a laundry list done. Its gonna look like random jobs, just checking up on people from time to time. But it is integral to the structure of the omniverse itself that you do this. The reasons why are beyond your comprehension.
Am I going to get to go home ?
Eventually, maybe
CHAPTER TWO
Do you have a name
Yeah
Cool
Yeah
I'm going to show you your chores now
Ok
He concentrated for a few moments. He raised his hand and made a motion like he was typing on a keyboard. The floor fell away, revealing an infinite void, like space, all around us. There was a commotion behind me, and I turned tot see a corridor being made. The sounds of commotion were still somehow coming from behind me, so I turned again to see the same corridor, this time it stretched even further into the distance
Sorry this will take a while, were constructing it one dimension at a time, just about to start adding the sixth. Give it a second and well have it finished.
We were still floating, but now the corridor was all around us. The sound of commotion was all around now, it sounded like lots of materials being smashed together; stones, metal, wood, clay, water, flesh.
And done
We drooped to the floor. This part of the corridor looked like an ancient Roman street, complete with a market, although there were no people to man them.
Like I said, this is just the shortest distance between the points we need.
Ok
We’ll get going and I’ll explain everything on the way. He handed me what looked like a small stone, but it lit up and created a screen, it looked remarkably like a tablet computer when it was turned on. A lot of things I didn’t understand or frankly care about lit up. I looked away and it powered down.
That will help you keep track of everything
I figured.
This is our first subject. Her name is Maria
Can she see us ?
No. she's just sitting here playing with her fruit.
She's not moving
She's frozen in time until you start
Will she be able to see us then
Yes. She's going to be doing something with her fruit. Recently she had a wedding for her oranges.
Ha-ha
Yeah. When the time comes, you just write it down on you tablet, can you do that ?
I opened the tablet. It anticipated what I was thinking and made the correct page for me.
Great. Moving on.
We closed the door, leaving Maria for now. We continued down the street. Quite suddenly, although not immediately, it became the interior of what looked like a space ship.
This is a universe where the entire...left side of the universe declared war on the right side. I really don’t want to get into it, all you need to know is the teams are the Yingits and the Yangits. You have no idea how much it pains me to say, but earth actually is the centre of the universe here, so earth’s politics are, needless to say, divided. The pilot of this ship was born coincidentally on the same day as the version of you from this universe, but he fell into a cryogenic chamber for almost a thousand years, got out, began what would have been one of the greatest empires the world had ever known, had he not fallen into another cryogenic chamber for another thousand years. When he got out, the war had started, and none cared enough to follow him anymore. His names Fornot, you just need to find out what side he’s fighting on.
This is weird
Yeah.
We closed the door and went on. The spaceship corridor gave way to some cold, stone steps. There was water dripping from the walls, and mould growing, the whole place stank and it was far too cramped. There was a rough wooden door with an ornate golden handle. He opened it. Three people were inside the cave, with about 500 people crowded around the entrance, trying to get a glance in.
This guy here, his name is Su-lan. He comes from an island off the coast of...it’s a different planet you wouldn't know it anyway. Member of the La tribe, cool guys and gals. Ah I may as well say it, this is a universe where humans have attempted to colonise every planet they’ve come to, and they’ve had a 100% success rate. Believe it or not, we are currently in the orbit of a gas giant called...you wouldn't remember, call it 2piter.
Ok
So Su-lan’s wife, do you see her there ? Her name is Su-fo, she took part of his name when she married, according to a custom that goes back 420 years
Ok
So they painted all these symbols along the walls and on the floor and they drew that big circle, not easy to do when you've got arthritis like they do, let me tell you. Anyway, you may be wondering how humanity has been able to conquer every known planet in the universe, it was quite easy you see. Firstly, they changed the definition of planet to “that which can be conquered by humanity” and the second was that in the 20th century, they discovered a ritual which, when performed on the right people, would grant them godlike powers. After that it was actually quite easy. One in every roughly million people gains powers this way, and if they do, they become custodians of a planet or two, or even a whole solar system ! Isn't that neat ? Anyway, the girl in the middle, her name is Su-ner, and she’ll be doing the ritual today to see if she can get these powers. You see how she takes the first part of her father's name ? Well when she gets married
I get it
They said you were smart. You're just confirming whether or not she gets these powers, sound easy enough for you ?
Yes
Then lets keep going.
He overturned a stone, revealing a portal on the underside. The portal kind of dripped off the bottom of the stone until it landed on the wall opposite us. We walked through. Now we were in what looked to be the foyer of a hotel.
This is your parents’ house in the universe where they never had you.
What ? They got rich without me ?
'fraid so. They bought a really lucky lottery ticket.
Oh
then they used to money to buy a few sweatshops in China.
Oh.
anyway, we are looking for the game room, it’s...this way I think.
He led me down a series of corridors, containing great works of art, statues, suits of armour, I thought I saw Eric Clapton by a swimming pool. We found the game room. It was bigger than my house. It had arcade machines, a screen bigger than any cinema I’d ever been in, there were people in uniforms milling around, a huge crowd in the centre of the floor, a room of computers and people with headsets, it looked like mission control at NASA. At the centre of it all was a guy who looked a lot like me, he had a trolley in front of him with a row of suits. They looked like those green suits that covered people from head to toe, except they were black. He had a furrowed brow, he was deciding something. The suits had little white balls on them.
Remember when I said your parents didn’t have you ? Well this is the kid they had instead. Thanks to the money, he’s hosting and competing in the world video game championships. These are his haptic suits, they do motion capture and let him interact with the game world and give him feedback and stuff, kind of like a controller that you wear
Ok.
Tell us which one he picks.
There was another door on the far side of the room. We went through it. It opened onto a waterfall. He grabbed me and we stepped off together. The waterfall was frozen in time. We rotated 90 degrees, and gravity moved with us, so we ended up just walking down it a little bit. There was a metal hatch at the bottom. He opened it up and let me inside. Gravity shifted again, so we were not standing on the roof, staring down at a lab. There were two scientists inside, one a rotund man with a bushy beard, the other thin and small, with an equally thin and small moustache. There was a birdcage in the middle, and a bird was suspended in the air within the cage. There were what looked like two circular windows in the end of the room. Or at least, a different version of me would have thought they were windows. Having seen what I had seen, I knew they were portals of some kind. One opened to a golden meadow, accentuated by the setting sun. The other was a nigh time setting of a colourful forest, with glow in the dark foliage accentuating the fruits and flowers which were present. They looked equally inviting.
This lab has been experimenting with multiversal travel, we love to see it. See that clipboard ? They've taken the same bird from hundreds of different universes and are setting it free in the lab and seeing which of the two portals it goes through. Their theory currently is; same bird, same portal. I rememberer when we were at that stage, fun times. You just need to tell us which portal this bird flies through. see that fat guy ? He once won a hot dog eating contest by lining them up and having his friend push them into his mouth while he swallowed with his mouth open on the other end of the table. The friend was the small guy, who got a splinter from the table and had to be rushed to the emergency department and spent 20 hours on a trolley and by the time he got seen to he had taken the splinter out himself but he got charged for the time on the trolley and now he’s here to pay off the medical bill.
Ok
Let's keep going.
He opened another hatch in the roof and stepped through. It opened not to the waterfall, but to a city. It was grey and the buildings were big.
Ok this is about two years after you went away
I'm not going home, am I ?
Not with that attitude. It doesn’t matter where we are...humans have colonised a planet that is more or less identical to earth and are making the exact same mistakes all over again. We are in New York 2, although I would prefer if you called it 2 York.
Ok
There's a guy called Killer Lenny. We need you to tail him for the next few months and find out what job he gets.
Months ?
It’ll fly, well make sure your needs are met during that time.
Ok.
One final thing.
He opened a manhole cover, and jumped in. I didn’t hear him hit the bottom, but I jumped in too. I landed on...the street I had just jumped off.
Different universe, same setup, multiverse fun ! There are some gangs, the Rabble, the Rapple, the Raggle, the Rattle, the Raddle, the Raxxle, the Razzle, the Rassle, and the Raffle. They all wear different colours and I think they carry weapons corresponding to the gang they're in. They've been having problems for the last few years and its all coming to a head tonight and we need you to tell us who comes out on top. I’d say take a secure position and wait it out, we’re not expecting it to take any more than about an hour once it starts.
Ok. when do I start ?
Well take some time and you can start more or less immediately. We need to do some stuff back at base but that wont take long.
CHAPTER 2.5
OK step on through. The fact that I wont be with you means the shortest path between these places might be different to the ones we took originally, just check your device regularly and you should be fine. Any questions ?
Yeah, why am I doing this ?
It's recently been discovered that there is an omniverse where you do this, you report certain things to us, and then totally unrelated circumstances in a trillion years means we gain a bonus of sorts. Consider yourself the litmus test
Oh
Oh and we’re giving you like a billion dollars or something
Cool
Ok let's go
He pushed me through the portal. It closed behind me. I was on the street in Rome.
CHAPTER 3
I walked around a bit before I went to her. This had been my first chance to get any my bearings since this whole thing started. I noticed a bird in the air. It wasn't moving. I realised I would need to open the door to Maria's house before time would start in this universe again. I grew bored, and opened the door. Maria was sitting on the floor, on her own.
Hello
Hi
Are you alright ? I was sent to check up on you.
I'm fine, thank you.
What are you doing ?
I am playing with my fruit. I like to play with my fruit. My legs don’t work good so I can’t go outside with my friends. Well. I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends if I had any. My mother gives me fruit to play with and when I finish playing with it I eat it.
Oh. That's nice. What are you doing now ?
Last week my oranges got married. They love eachother very much.
That's nice. Where are they now ?
They are over here, well some of them are. I ate some and I fed a few more to the pigs, but I have some apples and a pear and some grapes now. They are making music together.
Music ?
Yes ! Their names are Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, and then we have another Do, I think she is the mother of all the others.
Very nice, what else do they do ?
They can do all sorts of things !
She showed me to a lute that was hanging on the wall. She played an open string on it.
See, if we call that note Do, then the one here
she played it at the second fret
would be called Re.
Lovely
And something I learned recently, if you push the note up one more, you can change its name ! So I can turn Re into Ri !
Amazing. Can you turn Fa into Fi and La into Li ?
Yep !
She showed me what they sounded like.
You can also push notes down to turn and that changes their name too, so Re becomes Ra, and Mi becomes Ma, and So becomes Sa, and Ti becomes Ta. I think some of my fruits want to change their names, I think Ti definitely would prefer to be Ta, and I think Re would love to become Ri.
I bet they would, what are you going to do now ?
I think I will eat them !
She spent a few minutes looking for her fathers knife, but when she couldn’t find it, she went out to the shed and got out a saw. As she took it to he apple, the scene stopped. I knew it was time to go.
I recorded it all and went on my way. Kids sure are stupid, I said to myself.
There were a few people on the street now. They were clearly minding their own business, but time had stopped again so I couldn’t have spoken to them if I had wanted to. Beyond the market, I could see the stones giving way to the steel beams and electrical cables of the spaceship. I continued my journey.
The spaceship was as cold as it had been, although this time there was at least the whirring of the engines to provide some life. There were flashing buttons on the wall, and a magnificent vista of the earth. Actually, it probably wasn't the earth. The earth only has one moon.
I knocked on the door
Woah
I fell backwards. The inertia had caught me off guard.
What are you doing here ?
What are you doing here ?
I'm fighting these dirty Yangit scum, why, what side are you on ?
I was already gone
The beams and cables gave way to the cave where the ritual was taking place. Su-ner was exactly as I had left her, as were Su-lan and Su-fo. The whole ceremony consisted of Su-ner drinking a purple liquid from an ornate jug, then lying down in the firepit in the centre of the room. She seemed to be asleep. Su-fo lit a fire in the pit, and Su-ner didn’t move. From my vantage point at the back of the cave, I knew noone could see me, I doubted it would end well if they did. After a few minutes, Su-lan started convulsing on the floor, after another few minutes, Su-fo followed suit. I assumed they had inhaled too much smoke; they were between the firepit and the cave mouth. When they had stopped moving, noone dared breath. Noone looked at them, they were so fixated on Su-ner, who still hadn't moved. Some of them started clutching beads, closing their eyes, and offering prayers. It was obvious that Su-ner's parents were dead, the ritual had clearly gone disastrously wrong.
Until.
There was a creaking sound, like large amounts of earth and clay moving. The symbols on the wall started glowing, and somehow detached themselves from the wall, floating through the air and settling on Su-ner. A hole opened in the roof. Su-ner's eyes opened, they now glowed purple. She floated out of the hole. She touched parents’ hands, they awoke, and they climbed to their feet without a hint of their arthritis. Now the crowd was silent again. Su-ner said
I must fulfil my duty
And flew away. There was the sound of thunder crashing and trees falling and mountains colliding and winds howling and volcanoes erupting and rivers flowing, all for the greater good of humanity. The crowd erupted into cheers, the scene stopped. I overturned the stone and let the portal drip onto the wall.
I was back in my “parents” house. I got lost, it took me a while to get back to to where I had been before, there was some activity, the staff were friendly and pointed me in the right direction. It turned out to be Eric Clapton at the pool, he was humming his worst song, Wonderful Tonight, to himself.
I found my...brother in the game room, exactly where I had left him. He was still deciding what to wear. All the hap suits looked exactly the same to me so I dot k ow why he was taking such a long time figuring it out. I looked up at the screen and couldn’t believe my eyes. The world video game championship was a 1v1 in Fortnite. The UI and characters looked a bit different, but only marginally compared to that of my own universe. The game was even called Fortnite, except it was written in comic sans. He looked at me, gave me an up and down glance, there was a flicker of confusion on his face, then went back to picking his suit. He picked the 5th one in the lineup. I recorded it and left.
The two scientists were idiots. They tried like 100 times and every bird flew into the portal on the left. What kind of bird would ever fly into the night sky ?
Killer Lenny was a homeless bum. He walked up and down the same street every day, begging for change, not getting any, then going back to sleep on his little corner. I kept tabs on him, somehow never getting hungry, tired, or overly bored, for about 6 months. I never saw any reason to talk to him, nor did I have any interest in getting close enough to smell him. I suppose in a way I was the same as him, just walking up and down the street with no idea why, and no idea what I would do next. I got accosted a few times, but this universe seemed to have my back, it always sent a kind stranger or some blue lights to my aid, and I never got rained on in the time I was there. One day, Killer took a different path, he walked way out of town. He walked onto the bridge, edged over to the edge of the bridge. His toes were dangling off the edge. He heard a scream. There was a girl in the lake below. She was drowning. He sighed, took himself down from the edge, and took off running down to her. I didn’t bother following him, I watched him go out of view, I watched him come back into view, I watched him rush into the water and pull the girl out. I watched a man come racing down to the bank of the lake in a Bentley. He was wearing an exquisite suit. He exchanged words with Killer, they shook hands, and he drove off. Killer never said a word about it, he never looked back, he just walked back to his corner and resumed business as usual. Another 6 months after this, the Bentley drove up to him, the rich man got out, shook hands with Killer again, and they exchanged words. Killer pointed towards me, and the rich man beckoned me over. I walked over.
Boys, I've got a job for both of you. Killer here says you’ve been his constant companion, always by his side for the last year, and he told me about you and him having certain...abilities that I would find very useful. Now as I've said to Killer here, I am the CEO of the Deep Atlantic Research group, we've been drilling for oil and minerals for the last few years and we've run into some problems. Apparently, millions of years ago, alien spacecrafts landed in the ocean. They are hundreds of kilometres across, they are covering up some of the most valuable mineral deposits in he history of the world. Only problem in, we lack the technology to move them, we lack the technology to operate them, and we lack the technology to get into them. You probably understand already, but the real treasure is the alien tech we found along the way, the oil and gold and silicone and platinum and palladium are just the cherries on the cake. Now, we have taken a very strange request from Mr. Lenny on board, and we have built a big boat with a big diving board, which he says he can use to breach the hull of the alien ships at the bottom of the ocean. Would you like to become agents of our company ? We can assure you the salaries are...agreeable, and the benefits are even better.
I looked at Killer. He looked at me. He spoke first
We’ll take it
Time stopped. I didn’t know what his job title was. The door of the car opened all on its own. I stepped out. I was back on the same corner, but this time I knew there would be gang warfare instead of a sad homeless man. What would happen to him now ? Will he still get his job, now that I had disappeared ? would time ever unfreeze without me there ? I will admit, I was worried for him. The spell that had kept me content and only half-human was already beginning to wear off.
There was a loud scream. About 1000 men, all wearing their gang’s colours and brandishing their gang’s weapons, charged at eachother. Grenades were thrown, guns were fired, spears were used to impale, swords were slashed, shivs were shanked, rockets were launched, farts were smelled, portals to hell were opened, men died, were reanimated, then were killed again. It was over in about 45 seconds. One group, wearing nothing but green speedos, ran into the night, the only group to not have lost a single member. They were singing a song by the highly underrated Creedence Clearwater Revival. I had no idea who they were, and they were moving faster than I could follow. I had an idea. I climbed down from my hidey hole. I checked the name tags of the fallen members of the other gangs. The guys in red leather trench coats were the Rassle, the guys in surgical scrubs were the Rabble, the guys who wore a pirate hat on top of their cowboy hats were the Razzle, the guys who were tattooed head to toe with Spongebob were the Raxxle, the guys who had fluffy coats like sheep were the Raddle, guys who had cybernetic implants were the Rapple, and the guys who carried small pieces of brightly coloured paper were the Raffle. I figured out who the winners were, then I activated my tablet to bring me home.
CHAPTER 4
I found myself back in the room with seat and the table. The two guys were staring down at me
You've probably figured it out at this stage, haven't you ?
I nodded
We tried to keep it kinda cryptic for you for a while, but a smart guy like you ? There was no way you weren't gonna figure it out for yourself. Some of those references were just a bit on the nose, we know that. After 5000 words you kinda stop caring as much, may as well get it over with.
I handed over the tablet.
The guys took turns reading the sequence of events as I had written them
Saw Ri. Fornot’s a Yingit. Las cheer. Hap E. Bird; day. DAR. Raggle

Now this happened to me when I was around 9 years old, in 1999. I stumbled on this subreddit and thought, why not share... I have no idea if anyone ever had a similar experience. The thing is, I'm not even that big of a believer in this stuff. But there are things in my parental house that happened and that have always stuck with me, things I can't explain.
So anyway, as a child I was terrified of lightning and thunder. I would usually crawl in my parents' bed during a storm. However, as I was getting a bit old to do that, I decided I would stay in my own bed and get through it. It started with a few thunders and rumblings outside, nothing special. I was still terrified though. It seemed to be getting closer, fast.
All of a sudden, there was a deafening thunder, that literally made my room shake. The bed was shaking around from that massive bang for over 5 seconds, like an earthquake or something. To this day I remember how terrified was, clenching the sheets. After that? Nothing. No rain, no thunder not a sound anymore. To be clear, I absolutely didn't dream or imagine it. I was too terrified to move, I stayed put, and eventually fell asleep.
The next morning, I wake up to find my bed not aligned with the wall anymore, and several things on the desk and planks had tipped over, other things even fell on the ground. I tell my parents what happened, only to be called a liar. There was no storm that night, they said. And they said I moved around the bed and the stuff on my desk just to give credence to my lie. Terribly frustrating. To this day, I've been wondering just what the hell happened that night, why it was limited to my room, and why no one else heard a peep.
The only other weird stuff happening in my parents' house, are two occasions of stuff we were looking for suddenly turning up, and some weird minor stuff with the lights. The stuff turning up out of nowhere was completely random. The first time it was a lottery ticket from my mom, which she always keeps in the top of a drawer. She lost it, and we were looking for it everywhere. We opened up that drawer and cleared it out completely twice. Then my mother opens up the drawer a third time, and there it is... laying on top of the stuff we had cleared out and put back in. She told me I put it there to mess with me. I didn't. The second instance was me looking for something as silly as a tamagotchi I hadn't thought about in years. I looked everywhere in my room, couldn't find it. Then I turn around, and suddenly there it is... in the middle of my bed. I was home alone that afternoon, and hadn't told anyone I was looking for it. Silly examples, but both stuck with me.
The last two occurrences were hardly paranormal or anything, but was when I was 18-19, and my parents were on vacation while I was home alone. One night I was laying in bed, listening to my MP3 player with the sound on max (not because I was scared, I just enjoyed that) when suddenly I see the light in the hallway turning on via the creek underneath the door. I immediately thought of burglars. But nothing or no one was there. I didn't sleep that night. Later that week, I came back from a nightly jog (I had a weird rhythm back then) and the lights in the living room wouldn't turn on. Every other light in the house turned on, these ones didn't. After being a bit unnerved, due to what happened a few nights earlier, and moving to another room, I came back to the living room, and the lights were working again. I asked my parents about it, they never had any issues with the lights. A year later, my parents were on vacation again while I was at home. Same thing happened. Came home one night, and didn't get the lights on in the living room for about an hour. Then they started working again. My parents still never had the issue. Ever since then, I moved out and never spent much time alone in that house ever again.
In any case, I'm particularly curious about the thunder and quake thing. Anyone ever heard of a similar event?

NJ transplant living in Fairfax/Oakton for the last year. Any cool places to watch the champions league final Saturday at 3pm? I appreciate your suggestions.

Hi all,
I'm looking for cooking jobs in the city but currently live in Northeast NJ, is anyone knowledgeable on my best options for late night commutes back to NJ? I know since covid options have become more limited, and the DeCamp bus recently shutting down is making me unsure if this commute will be possible. Thanks!

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https://chng.it/D9LBMCStct
The Marco Temporal bill allows the government to remove indigenous people living in the Amazon. It opens up land for companies to destroy the rainforest and put grazing fields for cattle or open up mining opportunities. It’s a terrible bill, that puts the whole world at risk. Please sign and contact Rodrigo Pacheco and put pressure on him. https://instagram.com/rodrigopacheco?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

https://chng.it/D9LBMCStct
The Marco Temporal bill allows the government to remove indigenous people living in the Amazon. It opens up land for companies to destroy the rainforest and put grazing fields for cattle or open up mining opportunities. It’s a terrible bill, that puts the whole world at risk. Please sign and contact Rodrigo Pacheco and put pressure on him. https://instagram.com/rodrigopacheco?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

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Link to Hub

Recapping 2022

2022 was a dangerous year to be a Vikings fan, especially if you have a pre-existing heart condition. While a season of 13 wins -- tied for the most since 1998 -- may seem like the team is in a position to make a Superbowl push, the actual quality of the team is a lot more... well, mediocre.
The 2022 Vikings ranked 19th in offensive EPA per play, 25th in defensive EPA per play, 27th in Overall DVOA, and 15th in Pythagorean Wins (with 8.4 expected wins). Kevin O'Connell always preached the performance of the team in priority situations. The team finished 12th in 3rd down conversion rate and 8th in red zone conversion rate. And the team led the league -- by far -- in the number of 4th quarter comebacks and game winning drives. When it was time to put up or shut up, the team put up hard. Except for in the playoffs.

2023 Offseason

All of that made the future of the Vikings tough to read. But Kwesi Adofo-Mensah and the rest of the front office told us what they thought of the team with their free agency moves. In a league where teams are trading the farm for Hall of Fame QBs and giving $20M/Year deals to nose tackles and guards, the Vikings' big free agent splash were a one year deal on an injury-prone DE and a good-not-great corner that doesn't even crack the top 20 highest AAVs at the position. Concurrently, the team parted ways with half of the team's 2022 captains to try to get under the cap. All of this while the team is not done with transactions -- Dalvin Cook still presents as a cut candidate due to his age and contract structure.
Notable Departures:

• WR Adam Thielen ($6.4 Saved / $13.5 Dead)
• LB Eric Kendricks ($9.5 Saved / $1.93 Dead)
• CB Patrick Peterson (Unrestricted Free Agent)
• DT Dalvin Tomlinson (Unrestricted Free Agent)
• EDGE Za'Darius Smith (Post-draft trade)

Notable Arrivals:

• CB Byron Murphy (2Y / $17.5TOT / $8.1GTD)
• EDGE Marcus Davenport (1Y / $13TOT / $10GTD)
• TE Josh Oliver (3Y / $21TOT / $8.2GTD)
• DT Dean Lowry (2Y / $8.5TOT / $4.2GTD)

Other Notable Transactions:

• Re-Signed C Garrett Bradbury (3Y / $15.75TOT / $5.15GTD)
• Re-Signed RB Alexander Mattison (2Y / $7TOT / $6.35GTD)
• Re-Signed FB CJ Ham (3Y / $5.6TOT / $3.3GTD)
• Re-Signed All-Pro LS Andrew DePaola (3Y / $4.025TOT / $1.515GTD)

The other major change that influenced how the team addresses the draft was the shift from Ed Donatell's Cover 2 shell defense to Brian Flores's aggressive man defense. Compared to the 2022 Vikings, Flores's 2021 Dolphins blitzed over twice as often and played with light boxes at roughly half the rate. On top of the front seven, one of the biggest changes in scheme is the Cover 2 alignment, which Donatell employed on nearly half of all defensive snaps compared to just 12% for Flores's 2021 Miami team. With one crop of rookies and free agents brought in to play in a Fangio style scheme, the defense would have to undergo a massive shift to succeed in a scheme that can only be described as the complete opposite of what was run in 2022.

Draft Needs

Cornerback - Arguably the Vikings' biggest need, the team was without a true CB1. Byron Murphy comes aboard as the most experienced player. Pegged a slot-only player through his first three years, Murphy spent most of his time in 2022 outside and had a career year. After that, the team looked to rely on improvements from their 2022 draft class with Andrew Booth and Akayleb Evans, two players that combined for fewer than 300 defensive snaps last season primarily due to injury. You can see how KAM and crew, confident in their scouting ability, are betting on health to affect the secondary for the better. But taking another bet on a young player is a smart move at a position where depth is always a good thing.
Interior Defensive Line - The loss of Dalvin Tomlinson -- who played 551 snaps last year and compiled 14 pressures -- leaves issues next to Harrison Phillips. Jonathan Bullard was third on the IDL with 319 snaps last season and returns on a one year deal. Tonga and Lynch had some flashes, and the team brought in Lowry. The rotation (optimistically) can get to competent. But finding a true winner on the inside of the line was viewed by many as a priority.
Wide Receiver - The Vikings starting personnel at WR heading in to the draft was Justin Jefferson (stud), KJ Osborn (decent), and... Jalen Nailor? Brandon Powell? Oh dear Lord don't tell me it's Jalen Reagor. The loss of Adam Thielen was expected, but nevertheless leaves a gaping hole next to JJ and KJ in the lineup. Keenan McCardell is arguably the best WR coach in the league, and playing with Jefferson would give one-on-one opportunities for any receiver. But having somebody that can actually win those one-on-ones remains a question.
Inside Linebacker - Eric Kendricks's jersey change marks the true end of an era at LB. Kendricks struggled in Donatell's scheme last season, as did most players. But he was a longtime leader on the defense and a valued community member. Jordan Hicks, Brian Asamoah, and Troy Reeder sit atop the depth chart. Hicks can be solid and Asamoah had flashes, but counting on this group as every down players is a risk to say the least.
Offensive Guard - Ed Ingram was one of the worst starting guards in the league last season. But he's a rookie. Maybe he gets better in year 2. Maybe he stays terrible. Even if you're optimistic there, Ezra Cleveland is entering a contract year at left guard. Adding interior offensive line depth is always smart.
Quarterback - This offseason, reports surfaced that the team and QB Kirk Cousins could not finalize a contract extension. That means for the first time in his Vikings tenure, Cousins is entering a contract year. Cousins has been an above average QB during his time in Minnesota. Last year saw him finish 4th in yards, but he was painfully mediocre at efficiency stats like TD percent (17th), ANY/A (18th), and ADOT (20th). Entering his age-35 season, it would be wise to look for a successor even if the team plans on retaining Cousins past 2023.

The Draft

*Indicates measure is taken from Pro Day
1.23 WR Jordan Addison, USC
Profile: Jr 5'11 173lbs 31.5 Arm\ 8.75 Hand 75.125 Wing* 4.49 40 1.57 10 34 VJ 10'2 BJ 4.19 SS* 7.05 3c 5.95 RAS*
2022 Stats: 11 Gm 59 Rec 875 Yds 8 TD 2 Drops
Steve Smith Sr: "Addison has one of the highest ceilings among WRs in this draft due to his blend of route running chops and his all around athleticism. He is a three level route runner: intermediate, deep, and short... The way he can get in and out of his breaks is so natural. He uses leverage. And he manipulates the DB consistently"
Addison -- a Biletnikoff Award winner during his Pitt days -- is one of the highest floor players in the class. He is a route running technician with proven dominance playing inside and outside. He had more than 3 yards per route run in two different offenses. He understands how to marry his athleticism and quickness with the breaks in his routes. He finds the DB's blind spot and forces them to lose. Addison is a bit on the small side, but not abnormally so given this draft class. He does have some concerns with his hands -- his drop rates as a freshman and sophomore were 14% and 10%, respectively -- but he showed improvement in this as a junior.
The need here is clear. As mentioned earlier, the WR depth past JJ and KJ is abysmal. Even with Thielen and Osborn on the roster in 2022, the Vikings needed juice in the WR room. The 2022 Vikings had one top 5 WR in yards per route run (Jefferson). There was no other receiver in the top 100. Teams were not worried about Thielen or Osborn. Teams could put two or three defenders on Jefferson without any fear of what anyone else might do to their defense. Hockenson fixed this a bit down the stretch, but an outside playmaker was still needed.
The real question here is why the team opted not to go for CB Joey Porter Jr, who filled what many considered to be the team's biggest need and was a higher ranked prospect for Lance Zierlein, PFF, Danny Kelly, Matt Miller, and Dane Brugler. The answer here -- if I can take a guess and stretch my logic a bit -- is that the need at WR2 was greater than the need at CB. Patrick Peterson was the biggest loss in the secondary, and the team brought in Byron Murphy to try to fill that role. On offense, Minnesota had not brought in a replacement for Adam Thielen. The depth chart past Jefferson and Osborn was filled with bodies that might not make a 53-man roster on a lot of teams.
Trade: SF gives 3.87 to MIN for 3.102, 5.164, 7.222

	Jimmy Johnson	Rich Hill	Fitzgerald-Spielberger	Harvard
Total give	155	48	737	115
Total get	117.7	45	1334	197
Absolute Diff	-37.3	-3	+597	+82
Percent Diff	-24%	-6%	+81%	+71%

The biggest thing to consider when evaluating this trade is that the Vikings came into the draft with 5 picks, only two of which were in the top 100. In my biased opinion, this was a home run trade, even if the traditional charts disagree. To take three swings at the bat instead of one is a humble and wise strategy, especially for a team with limited draft capital. The move looks even better in hindsight because there were no CBs taken between 87 and 102.
3.102 CB Mekhi Blackmon, USC
Profile: 6Sr 5'11" 178lbs 31" Arm 9.25" Hand 74.625" Wing 4.47 40 1.47 10 36 VJ 10'5" BJ 11 Bench 7.44 RAS
2022 Stats: 14 Gm 66 TKL 2 TFL 1 FF 15 PD 3 INT
Brett Kollman: "Feisty, physical press corner who definitely has to play more under control in the NFL to avoid flags, but he has all the competitiveness you want to see from a potential CB1 at the next level. Never backs down from anyone. Has easy gas to stay in control of a route from top down, even against true burners. Legit 4.4 speed and gets up to it quickly. Outstanding ball production... Held up extremely well despite being targeted often. Battle tested, aggressive, and confident... Very similar to Desmond Trufant."
An unrecruited high school positionless player out of high school that signed with JuCo San Mateo, Blackmon followed up four seasons at Colorado with a breakout 2022 campaign as one of the best defenders on the USC defense. The Trojans played a man-heavy scheme, which let Blackmon shine. He has great anticipation and instincts. His production this year says as much. He plays bigger than his size, and he has inside-outside versatility. He will have to clean up some of his physicality to avoid flags at the next level. He will also have to refine his technique to stay with the more complex routes he'll see. But he is a strong culture and scheme fit for what Brian Flores is bringing to the defense.
The need at CB was obvious even before hiring Flores. The Vikings ranked 31st in passing yards allowed, 26th in Passing DVOA, and 24th in EPA allowed per pass attempt. Bringing in Byron Murphy helps. So do the healthy returns of Booth and Evans. But Murphy has not yet shown that he can be a consistently great player (or at least not markedly better than what we got out of Patrick Peterson last year). And Booth and Evans are unproven. Blackmon -- taken with the last pick on Day 2 -- is not expected to come in and be Jalen Ramsey or Sauce Gardner. But in a shift to a more aggressive man-coverage defense with a thin CB room, Blackmon is an upside player that will have every chance to take a starting spot on a porous defense.
Trade: MIN gives 4.119 to KC for 4.134, 2024 5th\*

	Jimmy Johnson	Rich Hill	Fitzgerald-Spielberger	Harvard
Total give	56	24	578	88
Total get	58.4	24	898	133
Absolute Diff	+2.4	0	+320	+45
Percent Diff	+4%	0%	+36%	+34%

On top of entering the weekend with a mere 5 draft picks in the current year, the Vikings also entered with a mere 5 draft picks in the 2024 class (3rd rounder traded for Hockenson, 5th rounder traded for Reagor). Dropping 15 picks in a relatively flat part of the draft while adding a mid-Day 3 pick is good business given this team's lack of capital.
*Here we assume a future pick in round n is valued at the middle pick of round n+1, not accounting for compensatory picks. In this case, a 2024 5th is equated to pick 176.
4.134 S Jay Ward, LSU
Profile: Sr 6'0.5" 188lbs 32.5" Arm 8.25" Hand 76.875" Wing 4.55 40 1.54 10 34.5 VJ 11' BJ 4.35 Shuttle\ 7.31 3c 16 Bench 6.70 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 60 TKL 2.5 TFL 5 PD 1 INT 2 FR TD
Nate Tice: "A ton of fun. I just like this fit because of Brian Flores's defense. Just picture all of those mixture guys that the Patriots have used over the years... Jay Ward can be that"
A three year starter with reps at safety, slot, and outside CB, Ward is one of the most versatile players in the class. He possesses excellent length and movement skills. His experience at CB make him a fluid player in coverage. In the run game, Ward's size is a concern. His 188lbs Combine weight puts him in just the second percentile for safeties. This translates to issues with taking on blocks. He is a very aggressive player, beelining to the ball as soon as it's out. But his size coupled with his impatient playstyle lead to a lot of missed tackles. He was also flagged seven times last season.
In his final season in Miami, Flores was extremely creative with how he employed his safeties. Jevon Holland had the 2nd most blitzes in the league at the position. The number 1 player? His teammate Brandon Jones. With the defense taking on Flores's amoeba identity, an aggressive player with experience at multiple positions has the potential to find a role early on. The defense will look to utilize him similar to how Jevon Holland was used as a rookie. And with Harrison Smith well into the twilight of his career, Ward is a timely pick as the team attempts to thread the needle in their competitive rebuild.
Trade: MIN gives 5.158, 6.211 to IND for 5.141

	Jimmy Johnson	Rich Hill	Fitzgerald-Spielberger	Harvard
Total give	32.4	13	722	103
Total get	36	15	492	74
Absolute Diff	+4	+2	-230	-29
Percent Diff	+10%	+13%	-47%	-39%

It's a bit strange to see Adofo-Mensah move away from the analytics charts in favor of the traditional ones, but the value swap here is not absurd. The real question with this trade will be if Roy ends up being a true contributor.
5.141 NT Jaquelin Roy, LSU
Profile: Jr 6'3" 305lbs 32.75" Arm 10.125" Hand 78.125" Wing 5.13 40\ 1.82 10* 26" VJ* 8'5" BJ* 5.00 Shuttle 8.01 3c 30 Bench 3.72 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 49 TKL 3.5 TFL 0.5 SCK
Lance Zierlein: " The more you watch, the more you like the way Roy plays the game... Despite limited starting experience at LSU, he already displays signs of a rush plan and the athletic talent to execute it. Roy is an ascending talent with the potential to become a quality starter. "
After a 30 tackle, 1.5 sack campaign as a rotational player in 2021, Roy shifted from a penetrating 3T position to more of a traditional nose tackle under new HC Brian Kelly. This transition let Roy shine as a run stuffer. He eats space and is incredibly tough to move from his spot. He averaged almost 52 snaps a game in 2022 and his motor never let up. He has some work to do if he wants to be a three down player, particularly as a pass rusher. His bend and balance in this front are especially lacking.
The Vikings' front office seems to be a lot more comfortable with the current IDL room than I am. Harrison Phillips is a plus starter. Past that, the roster is filled with unproven youth or proven subpar players. As a 5th round pick, Roy has an uphill battle to separate himself from that group. But he's a good lottery ticket at this price. His positional versatility ensures that the defense can simply put their best players on the field.
5.164 QB Jaren Hall, BYU
Profile: RSr 6'0" 207lbs 39.75" Arm 9.5" Hand 71.875" Wing 4.63 40\ 1.59 10* 4.19 Shuttle* 7.06 3c* 7.96 RAS*
2022 Stats: 12 Gm 248 Comp 376 Att 66% Comp 3171 Yds 31 TD 6 INT 86 Rush 789 Rush Yds 9 RUsh TD
Kwesi Adofo-Mensah: "We added a really talented player that has a ton of upside... The ability to make decisions, throw the football accuracy, deal with conflict when it comes his way, and sometimes try to make a play outside the framework of the playcall. He does all those things at a really great level... That's an outstanding young man. I'd like to see him lead my team or any organization I'm a part of."
Despite being the third oldest prospect in the QB class, Hall only has 24 starts under his belt due to two years on religious mission and one year with a hip injury. But when Hall took over for Zach Wilson in 2021, he hit the ground running. BYU went 10-3 in that first year with Hall compiling a 4:1 TD:INT ratio. He is a two time team captain, and all reports of his character are off the charts.
Hall is a poised pocket passer capable of extending plays and picking up yardage on the ground. He was only sacked 12 times in 2022, which is a testament to both BYU's offensive line and Hall's ability to create under pressure. There are conflicting opinions on Hall's upside and arm strength, with Lance Zierlein calling his arm "unimpressive" while Kyle Crabbs claiming that hall has a "live arm with the ability to throw with juice off platform". Where there was near-universal agreement was in his understanding of the scheme, as Hall operated BYU's RPO-heavy offense like a machine. He has a clean release and quickly gets into a rhythm. His largest universal concerns are his age (he turned 25 in March) and his injury history (missed 20 games in the last 4 years). He also has ball security issues with 13 fumbles over his career.
I expected the Vikings to draft a QB in this class. The only question was if it would have been via a trade up on Day 1 or a flyer on Day 3 (or a falling Will Levis). With his age, size, and injury history, there are plenty of questions about what Hall can be. He will have a year in practice to put together his audition tape to be Kirk Cousins's replacement -- it's certainly a viable path for this team to take a RiddeHowell/Mills-esque year to evaluate Hall while they continue retooling the defense. But the more likely path is that Hall becomes a long-term backup for the team. Cousins has been the model of health, but that doesn't mean that QB2 is an unimportant position. Sean Mannion, Kellen Mond, and Nick Mullens have manned that position to various degrees over the past few years. None has shown that they can be a competent plug-in player if needed. There is some hope that Hall -- who operated the BYU offense with a mechanic efficiency -- can be that player.
7.222 RB DeWayne McBride, UAB
Profile: Jr 5'10" 209lbs 30.625" Arms 9.5" Hands 73.125" Wing 20 Bench\*
2022 Stats: 11 Gm 233 Att 1713 Yds 19 TD 7.4 Y/A 2 Rec 10 Rec Yds
Dane Brugler: "Overall, McBride is unproven as a pass catcher and blocker, which might restrict his NFL role, but his contact balance, vision and lateral agility are among the best this running back draft class has to offer"
In an era of advanced metrics and Combine showmanship, perhaps the trait that has gone underappreciated more than any other in RB scouting is balance. McBride may have the best balance in the entire RB class outside of Bijan Robinson. He comes from a heavy outside zone scheme at UAB, where he led the FBS in yards per game and set school records for single-game and single-season rushing. McBride absorbs contact like a sponge. His short area burst is strong, and he makes defenders miss with power and finesse. McBride has ideal size and toughness. His concerns are simple. He was not utilized as a receiver in college, and he had more career fumbles than catches in that time. McBride profiles as a two-down player at the next level. Although Adofo-Mensah has voiced his belief that McBride's passing game usage was a product of scheme rather than ability, McBride still has to prove that he is more than just a short yardage runner in the NFL.
After spending a pick in back to back years on RB and re-signing Mattison to a modest contract, RB was a bit of an unexpected pick for this regime. Dalvin Cook still seems to be movable (a likely cut candidate at this point), which would make this pick more logical. Chandler struggled with injuries as a rookie, but both he and Nwangwu profile more as speedy scatbacks than true between-the-tackle runners like Mattison. Even Mattison has never been a true three-down back. McBride plays much more similarly to Mattison than the other backs on the team. He will try to carve out a role behind him as the future thunder to the lightning provided by Chandler and Nwangwu.

UDFA

FB Zach Ojile, Minnesota Duluth
Profile: 6Sr 6'0" 241lbs 31.5" Arms 8.5" Hands 75.5" Wing 4.78 40\ 1.79 10* 31" VJ* 9'1" BJ* 4.40 Shuttle* 31 Bench* 4.15 RAS*
2022 Stats: 11 Gm 12 Rush 53 Rush Yds 3 Rush TD 25 Rec 289 Rec Yds 5 Rec TD
A Twin Cities native, Ojile was a late addition to the roster, joining after a May rookie minicamp tryout. Ojile played LB, QB, FS, and RB in high school but found a role as an H-Back at UMD. He served as a team captain the past two seasons and finishes his collegiate career with over 1100 total yards and 24 total TDs. He was an All-Conference player for the DII NSIC Bulldogs. Whether Ojile participates at FB or TE, he'll need to prove his versatility to beat out the veterans on the depth chart. Working in his favor is Kevin O'Connell's shift to a more base-heavy offense in 2023.
WR Cephus Johnson, Southeastern Louisiana
Profile: 6Sr 6'4" 223lbs 33.25" Arm\ 8.5" Hand* 78.625" WIng* 4.57 40* 1.59 10* 36.5" VJ* 10'1" BJ* 4.39 Shuttle* 7.25 3c* 18 Bench* 9.48 RAS*
2022 Stats: 11 Gm 184 Pass Att 65% Comp 1354 Pass Yds 10 Pass TD 5 INT 89 Rush 488 Rush Yds 5 Rush TD
Johnson is making the fulltime switch from QB to WR as he attempts to latch on to an NFL practice squad. He earned the starting role for South Alabama as a redshirt junior before transferring to SE Louisiana, where he took some snaps at WR in spring games. Johnson's stats were unimpressive as a starting QB, notching just 1354 yards and a 2:1 TD:INT ratio in 11 starts. He has good size and instincts as a runner, but he has basically no experience playing WR.
WR Lucky Jackson, W Kentucky / XFL DC Defenders
Profile: RSr 6'0" 179lbs 9.624" Hand\ 32.25" Arm* 75.875" Wing**
2023 Stats: 10 Gm 36 Rec 572 Yds 5 TD 1 Fmb
Jackson last put on a college uniform before the pandemic for Western Kentucky, where his 2019 season saw him put up over 1100 yards on 94 receptions. Following his college days, Jackson spent time in the CFL and the Spring League before joining the XFL's DC Defenders and becoming an All-XFL receiver.
WR Malik Knowles, Kansas St
Profile: RSr 6'2" 196lbs 32.25" Arm 8.75" Hand 77.625" Wing
2022 Stats: 14 Gm 48 Rec 725 YDs 2 TD 8 Rush 164 Rush Yds 3 Rush TD 23 KR 592 KR Yds
Knowles is a vertical threat with good size and length. He offers value as a kick returner and leaves Kansas State with a top 5 rank in all-purpose yards. Knowles is an undeveloped route runner that struggles with quick change-of-direction. He also has trouble with press coverage. He'll need to prove his value on special teams, where he has plenty of collegiate experience as a kick returner.
WR Grant Maag, North Dakota
Profile: 5Sr 6'4" 206lbs 9.25" Hand\ 31.875" Arm* 77.625" Wing* 4.49 40YD* 1.60 10YS* 40.5" VJ* 10'5" BJ* 4.34 Shuttle* 6.90 3c* 8.50 RAS*
2022 Stats: 12 Gm 41 Rec 540 Yds 5 TDs
Maag was brought in following the announcement of Ben Ellefson's retirement. He is an Inver Grove Heights native and a graduate of St Croix Lutheran in St Paul. He leaves North Dakota with over 2000 yards over his five years and served as a team captain the past two seasons. His size gives him an advantage with a shorter WR group ahead of him, but Maag is a far cry from a roster lock.
WR Thayer Thomas, NC State
Profile: 6Sr 6'0" 198lbs 9" Hand\ 30.125" Arm* 73.5" Wing 4.56 40* 1.63 10* 37" VJ* 10' BJ* 4.03 Shuttle* 6.93 3c* 15 Bench* 7.85 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 57 Rec 642 Yds 4 TDs 2 Rush Att 44 Rush Yds 1 Rush TD 17 PR 128 PR Yds
A multisport athlete that was drafted by the Red Sox in 2019, Thomas walked onto the Wolfpack football team and got onto the field any way he could. In 2018, he saw work as a receiver, punt returner, and passer. Thomas has good hands (a career drop rate of 4%) and a high work ethic, but he is an undeveloped route runner that struggles to create much after the catch. He will need to prove his worth on special teams if he wants to make the roster.
TE Ben Sims, Baylor
Profile: RSr 6'4" 250lbs 33.125" Arm\ 9.5" Hand* 80.125" Wing* 4.58 40YD* 1.56 10YS 36" Vert* 10'2" Broad* 4.41 Shuttle* 7.46 3c* 15 Bench* 8.40 RAS*
2022 Stats: 12 Gm 31 Rec 255 Yds 3 TDs 2 Drops 1 Rush TD
Sims projects as a blocking tight end with limited ability as a receiver. He's a patient run blocker with good balance and toughness, but he is still cleaning up some technique. He isn't a creator with the ball in his hands and his tape fails to demonstrate the explosiveness that his testing suggests.
OL Alan Ali, TCU
Profile: RSr 6'4" 301lbs 32.875" Arm 9.5" Hand 77.625" Wing 5.23 40\ 1.89 10* 26.5" VJ 8'5" BJ* 4.91 Shuttle* 7.94 3c* 3.80 RAS*
A 5 year starter for TCU and SMU, Ali is a fundamentally sound center prospect with good body control and core strength. He has experience playing at all 5 OL positions but spent most of the past 4 years at center. His lack of athleticism and length are likely the reason he went undrafted.
OT Jacky Chen, Pace
Profile: RSr 6'5 1/4" 299lbs 10" Hand\ 34.5" Arm* 80.75" Wing* 5.41 40* 1.81 10* 29" VJ* 8'10" BJ* 4.74 Shuttle* 7.90 3c* 24 Bench* 5.39 RAS*
It's hard to find very much information on an undrafted lineman from a DII school whose toughest opponent was the University of New Haven. Chen is an OT prospect that is viewed as a ball of clay. Chen's 40 yard dash and 3 cone were underwhelming to say the least, but he was an above average tester in burst and explosiveness drills. That combined with his length make him an interesting project.
EDGE Andre Carter II, Army
Profile: Sr 6'6.5" 256lbs 9.375" Hand 33.275" Arm 81 Wing 4.91 40\ 1.65 10* 30" VJ 9'1" BJ 4.36 Shuttle 6.97 3c* 11 Bench 6.29 RAS*
2022 Stats: 10 Gm 41 TKL 7 TFL 3.5 SCK 2 PD
The highest profile UDFA signing of the class, Carter was getting 1st round buzz this time last year. At that time, Carter was coming off an 18.5 TFL / 15.5 sack season. However, Carter struggled to repeat his production as a senior, notching just 3.5 sacks. Carter finished out the draft cycle with lackluster testing, failing to run under a 4.90 in the 40 yard dash and weighing in at a mere 256 lbs -- a big concern given his 81 inch wingspan and towering stature. Carter has a ton of upside, but he doesn't have the frame to be a real NFL player right now. After 4 years training to be an officer in the US Army, he will need at least one season (maybe more) in an NFL weight room where he can focus on building muscle mass. He'll look to follow the mold of fellow Army player Alejandro Villanueva, who added 43 lbs to his 277 lbs frame entering the league before becoming a 7-year starter. Luckily, he joined the team with one of the best training facilities in the league.
EDGE Junior Aho, SMU
Profile: 6'2" 260lbs 9" Hand 33.875" Arm 79.875" Wing 4.58 40\ 1.66 10* 33.5" VJ* 10'3" BJ* 4.90 Shuttle* 7.38 3c* 9.38 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 23 TKL 2 TFL 2 SCK 1 FF
Quite simply, Aho is an athletic freak that should find his way onto the team thanks to the International Player Pathway roster spot. He takes pride in his speed and athleticism, but he also understands the limitations to his game. Aho was a solid rotational player for SMU. He will look to follow in the footsteps of other International Pathway players like Efe Obada and Jordan Mailata.
DT Calvin Avery, Illinois
Profile: RSr 6'1" 343 lbs 10" Hand\ 32.5" Arm 81.87" Wing 5.37 40* 1.84 10* 30.5" VJ* 8'5" BJ* 8.01 3c* 31 Bench* 3.12 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 23 TKL 2 TFL 1 PD
Avery is a former four star recruit out of Texas, earning snaps in 12 games as a true freshman. He started 12 games in 2022, primarily at nose tackle. He has a wide, large frame that makes him hard to move. However, he is an underwhelming athlete to say the least, and his statistical production is nearly non-existent.
LB Abraham Beauplan, Marshall
Profile: RSr 5'11" 241 lbs 9.25" Hand 31.75" Arm 77 1/4" Wing 4.62 Shuttle 35.5" VJ 9'9" BJ 7.33 3c 22 Bench 4.52 RAS
2022 Stats: 12 Gm 66 TKL 6.5 TFL 1 SCK 3 PD
Beauplan started the draft process by making an appearance on Bruce Feldman's Freaks List, reportedly squatting as much as 565 lbs and benching as much as 285. The few reports that exist on Beauplan suggest he's an urgent, downhill run defender that will look to carve out a role on special teams early on.
LB Wilson Huber, Cincinnati
Profile: 6Sr 6'4" 241lbs 9.75" Hand 32.375" Arm\ 80" Wing* 4.70 40* 1.66 10* 35" VJ* 10'4" BJ* 4.45 Shuttle* 6.91 3c* 18 Bench* 8.34 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 54 TKL 6.5 TFL 1 SCK 1 PD
A 3 star recruit out of Indiana, Huber started his career at Cincinnati as a TE. He played a hybrid role in his first 2 non-redshirt seasons, earning snaps on offense, defense, and special teams. He made a full role switch to the defensive side of the ball in 2020 and eventually earned the team captain moniker in 2022. Huber had some solid testing despite profiling as more of a thumper.
LB Ivan Pace Jr, Cincinnati
Profile: Sr 5'10.5" 231lbs 30.25" Arm 9.5" Hand 72" Wing 4.59 40\ 1.70 10* 35" VJ 9'8" BJ* 4.40 Shuttle * 7.18 3c* 22 Bench* 5.71 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 137 TKL 21.5 TFL 10 SCK 3 FF 4 PD
Ranked the 11th best LB for Daniel Jeremiah, 9th for Dane Brugler, and 7th for PFF, many thought Pace could have gone as early as Round 3. Pace was a one year starter for the Bearcats after transferring from Miami (Ohio), and he hit the ground running. He led the AAC in tackles and TFLs. He is a smaller player (although not abnormally so in today's game) that plays with his hair on fire. He gives tremendous effort on every play and is always around the ball. Pace is a super tough player that loves to tackle. His size is a concern; he gets washed out of plays too easily. He is also lacking in coverage skills, struggling to stay connected in man coverage. Still, it's incredible that Pace went undrafted. He's an easy special teams projection as a rookie with the upside to be put in position to win under Flores.
CB CJ Coldon, Oklahoma
Profile: 6Sr 5'10" 186lbs\ 8.375" Hand* 31.125" Arm* 75.125" Wing* 4.60 40* 1.58 10* 37 1/2" VJ* 10'5" BJ* 4.24 Shuttle* 7.31 3c* 3.92 RAS*
2022 Stats: 12 Gm 42 TKL 2 TFL 4 INT 6 PBU
Coldon is an instinctual football player that relies on his feel to create ball production. He spent 5 years at Wyoming before transferring to Oklahoma and leading the team in INTs and PBUs. In zone, Coldon watches the QB and looks for the right cue to understand when and where the ball is headed.
CB NaJee Thompson, Georgia Southern
Profile: 5'10" 200lbs 9.125" Hand 32.75" Arm 76.625" Wing 4.57 40\ 1.63 10* 32" VJ* 9'8" BJ* 4.56 Shuttle* 7.40 3c* 13 Bench* 1.59 RAS*
2022 Stats: 13 Gm 37 TKL 1 TFL 11 PD 1 INT
Thompson's love for the game is undeniable. After struggling to latch onto the Georgia Southern WR room, Thompson approached his head coach asking to be exclusively a special teams player. He relishes being a gunner on punts. He eventually got moved to CB in 2021, logging 557 snaps at the position in 2022. He's undeveloped at the position, but his special teams prowess gives him a good shot at the roster.
CB Jaylin Williams, Indiana
Profile: RSr 5'9" 184lbs 9.125" Hand 29.875" Arm 71.75" Wing 4.43 40\ 1.58 10* 34.5" BJ* 9'11" BJ* 4.20 Shuttle* 7.01 3c* 13 Bench* 5.54 RAS*
2022 Stats: 10 Gm 40 TKL 2.5 TFL 7 PD 1 FR 1 BLK
A longtime role player for the Hoosiers before becoming a fulltime starter in 2019, Williams's 6 career INTs were the most amongst active players on the team last season. He earned second team All-Confernece honors in 2020 and was an honorable mention in 2021.
K Jack Podlesny, Georgia
Profile: RSr 6'0" 195lbs 29.25" Arms 9" Hands 74.75" Wing
2022 Stats: 31 Att 26 Made 50 Long 109 Kickoff 72 Touchbacks 74 PAT Att 73 PAT Made
Ranked as Dane Brugler's 4th kicker and Lance Zierlein's 3rd kicker, Podlesny enters Vikings camp following a career that saw him walk on to Georgia's football team and finish with an 82% hit rate. He hit all but one extra point last season for the national champion Bulldogs. A concern with Podlesny is his leg strength. His accuracy beyond 40 yards falls to just 54%. His clutchness may also come into question as he missed two kicks in the national championship semifinals against Ohio State.

Projected Depth Chart

Pos (Projected 2023 Rostered Count / 2022 Rostered Count): Starter, Rookie, Cuts
QB (2/2): Kirk Cousins, Jaren Hall, Nick Mullens
RB (4/4): Alexander Mattison, Kene Nwangwu, Ty Chandler, DeWayne McBride, Dalvin Cook
FB (1/1): CJ Ham, Zach Ojile
WR (5/5): Justin Jefferson, KJ Osborn, Jordan Addison, Jalen Nailor, Brandon Powell, Trishton Jackson, Jalen Reagor, Blake Proehl, Thayer Thomas, Cephus Johnson, Malik Knowles, Lucky Jackson, Garrett Maag
TE (3/3): TJ Hockenson, Josh Oliver, Johnny Mundt, Nick Muse, Ben Sims
OL (9/10): Christian Darrisaw, Ezra Cleveland, Garrett Bradbury, Ed Ingram, Brian O'Neill, Chris Reed, Austin Schlottman, Oli Udoh, Blake Brandel, Josh Sokol, Vederian Lowe, Alan Ali, Jacky Chen, Sam Schlueter
DT (7/6): Harrison Phillips, Dean Lowry, Jonathan Bullard, James Lynch, Esezi Otomewo, Jaquelin Roy, Khyiris Tonga, Ross Blacklock, Sheldon Day, TJ Smith, Calvin Avery
EDGE (4/5): Danielle Hunter, Marcus Davenport, Pat Jones II, DJ Wonnum, Luiji Vilain, Curtis Weaver, Benton Whitley, Kenny Willekes, Andre Carter II, Junior Aho
ILB (4/4): Jordan Hicks, Brian Asamoah, Troy Reeder, Ivan Pace Jr, Troy Dye, William Kwenkeu, Abraham Beauplan, Wilson Huber
CB (5/6): Byron Murphy, Andrew Booth, Akayleb Evans, Mekhi Blakmon, Joejuan Williams, Kalon Barnes, Tay Gowan, John Reid, CJ Coldon, Najee Thompson, Jaylin Williams
S (5/4): Harrison Smith, Lewis Cine, Jay Ward, Josh Metellus, Camryn Bynum, Theo Jackson
K (1/1): Greg Joseph, Jack Podlesny
P (1/1): Ryan Wright
LS (1/1): Andrew DePaola
KR: Kene Nwangwu
PR: Brandon Powell

2024 Needs

Starters Needed: QB, OG, EDGE, DT -- Whether due to expiring contracts (Cousins, Cleveland, Davenport, Hunter) or overall suckitude (Ingram, Lowry), we need to find new starters at this positions in 2024. Could we go on with average-level free agents? Maybe. Should we? Maybe not.
We'll see how the group plays: CB, LB, RB -- These are positions where the front office is counting on young players (Booth, Evans, Asamoah) to fill the roles of departed starters. If those players take that step up, these positions drop on the needs list. Otherwise, we're in for a rough season.
Depth needed: WR -- The depth after Jefferson, Osborn, and Addison is not great. And Osborn is entering a contract year. Unless Keenan McCardell works some magic with Jalen Nailor or Trishton Jackson or Thayer Thomas, this should be a position we add to next year.

Final Thoughts

Versatility. When we look at this Vikings draft class, that's the first word that comes to mind, and it comes in big bold letters. Addison has inside-outside versatility. So does Mekhi Blackmon. Jay Ward is the most versatile of the group, capable of playing every DB position plus some spot snaps at LB. Roy has been productive everywhere from 0T to 4i. And the team has talked about how much they believe McBride can contribute as a pass catcher on top of his bruiser mindset as a between-the-tackles runner.
On offense, this shift seems to stem from a philosophical change following the TJ Hockenson acquisition last year. O'Connell's unit went from trying to copy-paste Sean McVay's outside zone scheme (largely a 3WR offense) to Kyle Shanahan's outside zone scheme (largely a TE-FB offense). And in that mold, O'Connell was looking for players he could use to create the illusion of complexity. That is, how can we employ versatile players to present defenses the threat of multiplicity?
On defense, the answer is a lot simpler. By bringing over Brian Flores, the team is hoping for a jolt in tenacity and an overall move to a hybrid amoeba scheme. You can look historically at how Bill Belichick has utilized flexibility in his defenses to maximize his gameplan for whatever offensive scheme is next on the menu. You can look at players on the line of scrimmage that have experience in both 43 and 34 schemes (Hunter, Phillips, Lynch, Bullard). And in the secondary, look no further than the selection of Jay Ward as an attempt to clone players like Jevon Holland and Kyle Dugger.
As Adofo-Mensah has repeatedly said, he approaches his job with humility. He listens to those around him and he finds the point where stories marry data to make informed decisions. And in O'Connell, he found someone who shares that mentality. With the emphasis on versatility, that mindset can now be applied on a weekly (and play-by-play) basis to opponents. We'll see how successful that strategy is as the team continues to straddle the line between competitive and rebuilder, but there is certainly an energy around the fanbase with the continued success of the offense and the addition of Brian Flores.

I live in an area that has all volunteer first responders (FA and fire). I was on the FA squad in my hometown (not current town) years ago, so I've served before. I've noticed a need in the area where I live, so I am looking into what training is necessary now. I came across this on the RJR Barnabas website: https://www.rwjbh.org/treatment-care/training-centeemt-training-classes/emt-initial-training/prerequisites/
My one concern in the prereqs, is this one:
- You must be physically to get up and down from the ground easily and lift at least 75 pounds.
I have seen many First Responders who I can surmise would not be able to lift 75 pounds (and I probably should not due to a knee issue), but can administer first aid. Does anyone know how strict this is and what other EMT training programs are available in NJ?
TYIA for any suggestions and information.
P.S. I could not find flair that fit this post, so I left it blank