Lehigh county recovery houses
Pex and Diameter Questions
2023.06.04 00:24 johnnycage2021 Pex and Diameter Questions
I have a 1000' water line, 1.5", schedule 40. We need to replace the last 400' or so going to the house becase of constant leaks due to lots of shifting rocks in our Tenn. pasture. A plumber wats to run a new 1" pex line for that 400'. 1. Pros and cons of using pex? 2. Potential problems going from 1.5" to 1"? We have good pressure from the county water. Thanks, JT
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2023.06.04 00:00 survivorguy00 Public land shooting
I was under the impression that shooting on BLM land was illegal in LA County. I was told recently by two different cops that BLM is not governed by the county because it is federal land, therefore it is legal to shoot on. Asking because there is a section of BLM land about 10 minutes from my house that I’ve seen other people shoot at before but I just want to make sure I’m above the law.
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2023.06.03 23:57 TP_Crisis_2020 ULPT Request: Previous resident and ex girlfriend both keep registering their cars using my address for years. How can I fuck them up?
I bought my house in 2018. The previous woman that lived there still registers her car and uses my address for important mail for some reason. A few months ago, I got a car title in the mail for a bmw with her name and my address on it.
My ex girlfriend lived with me for a year in 2020 and moved out at the end of that year. She still uses my address for all of her important documents as well, including car insurance, car registration, and even her drivers license. She renewed her drivers license at the beginning of this year and I found out that she renewed it with my address, even though she hasn't lived here in over 2 years. Just today, I got a letter in the mail for her updated car registration that includes her tag sticker.
The reason they do this with the cars is because I live in a county that doesn't have inspections or emissions and has lower registration taxes, and they both live in a different county that has inspections, emissions, and higher registration taxes.
I have told both of them to knock it off. I found the woman who used to live here on Facebook and sent her a message telling her to stop or I would report it to the DMV. She deleted her facebook after that. I told my ex girlfriend to stop doing it, she said okay, but is clearly still doing it.
How can I fuck them both over without getting into legal trouble? Could I take the title to the BMW of the previous resident, get someone to forge her writing, sign the title over to me (our state doesn't require a notarized title) and I transfer the title to the car like I bought it, then report it stolen? I know what her handwriting looks like. Is there anything I can do with all of the ex-gf's information and cainsurance registration to put her in a bad spot?
Before anyone guilts me about this being unethical, remember what sub we're in.
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2023.06.03 23:47 OneBoredMan02 Time to be a Hero Volume 24
Serious Issues - Time to be a Hero - Volume 24
Sunday 24th June 2017
WARNING: THIS VOLUME CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!
It's been ten days since Natsuki got kidnapped and held hostage by the recently arrived agents from Coomer. We beat them and promptly moved base to this little cabin like structure just at the outskirts of town, it's run down in places but it's nothing we can't fix up! Since last week nobody has reported any sightings of any Coomer agents which is expected, but I know it's just part of how they work. They look for a trial and follow it, until they find you. But when they do, they don't attack, they hang back for awhile and watch, waiting for a moment to take you by surprise. Stalking you. Assessing your strengths and weaknesses. Waiting for an opportunity. When they do make their move, they are quick. They are precise. They are calculating. They do not make mistakes. They do not get cocky. They do not let up for a second. That's why we all need to be on high alert and wide eyed. Hell, normal patrol is more dangerous now than ever! We just need to get permission and recognition from everybody else if we want to patrol for the night! Thankfully we came up with a secret code for the group chat, just in case that anybody that hacks into our group chat will not recognise what we are talking about right away. Basically we use emojis to let the others know about certain things, it's a code and it confuses me at the best of times. But Sayori did put this together on a whim so we should be just that little bit safer now. Right now I'm sitting in my apartment watching tv as I wait for Monika to come back from visiting her parents. She asked me if I wanted to come along but I declined her offer, I just want to rest a little bit from working hard to make the base for us. I had Sayori on my back telling me the various things she wanted, it was like her telling Santa what she wanted for Christmas! It was a ridiculous amount of things I had to make and it really took the wind out of my sails! So here I am, just relaxing I guess... I look at the tv show I was watching, it's some random programme about a teacher making drugs or something? I don't know about it, it's kinda funny I suppose, yet I can't really sit down and just enjoy it. In the back of my mind, I'm worried sick about Monika! She's been away for an hour now and I feel like it's been far too long for her to be out and not at least send me a text or whatever! But I shouldn't think too much of this, I'm just stressed out of my mind and very tired. I rub my eyes as I try to return back to the programme, but I just can't. Now that I've acknowledged the worry I can't get it out of my head! Fuck it! I toss away the remote and grab my phone, I'll just give her a text. Ask her how she's getting on with her parents. I shoot Monika a text in our chat reading:
'hey honey! just checking up on u and ur parents, how is it all going??' I set down my phone and wait for a reply...
one minute passes...
She still hasn't seen my text! Argh! Botan, give her time to pull out the phone and have a look at her notifications! She's with her parents for goodness sake, she can't just focus on me all the time! I need to settle down more! Maybe if I do some chores? I stand up and look around the apartment? What could I do? Maybe give the carpet a vacuum? Yeah! I head over to the closet, pull out the vacuum and bring it over to the centre of the living room. I turn it on and start the routine of clearing up the floor. I move the couch and get under it as I make my way around the room. Reaching into little corners and below the tv stand as I make sure everything's clean! I smile as I turn the vacuum off and see that the carpet is now much cleaner! I smile as I put the vacuum back into the closet. I then head back over to the couch and pick up my phone, Monika still hasn't seen my message? I'm getting concerned now, it's been unread for seven minutes, maybe I should phone her?? I go to select the call option but I stop myself, I am just....overreacting. Give her time. Maybe she left her phone in another room? She's at her parents' house after all? Or maybe she still hasn't gotten a chance to? Right, well what now?
Guess some dinner wouldn't hurt? I walk into the kitchen and have a look around the fridge for something to eat? Hmmm, maybe Monika would like something for when she gets back? I grab my phone and give her another text. 'would u like something 4 dinner?' I put my phone back into my pocket as I have another look. Guess I'll have some pizza with some chips! I take out a bag of frozen chips and a pepperoni and cheese pizza, setting them both onto the kitchen counter. I grab a tray for both pizza and fries and set them both out. I head over to the cooker and pre-heat the oven as I give it a minute or so. I then put my chips in first, followed by the pizza and close the oven door. Time to let them cook! I head back over to the living room and sit down. Got to give them time to cook, so what now? I look at the time, it's just coming up to eight? Hmmm, Monika did say she'll be back at around eight so....where is she? Botan! Stop it! I slap myself in the face! I really need to get a grip of myself! Maybe I can destress with a nice bath? Yeah, that will help! I walk into the kitchen and set a timer on the electronic clock for my food to be taken out. I then head into the bathroom and start running the bath. After a few minutes the bath is filled up and has plenty of bubbles going as I take off my clothes, here we go! I step in as the warm water quickly makes me jump in surprise at the heat! I then quickly get in as I relax. Oh yeah, this is much better! I smile, it's almost like I wasn't panicking about my girlfriend potentially going missing when she's out right now! ….urgh! I cover my face in water and take a deep breath. I just need to calm down. That's all. Monika can handle herself. The worse thing that could happen is that she gets killed and I never see her again...rgh! That temper I have, I almost forgot! Jeez, no more thoughts like that! Jesus, why did I even think of that?? Am I really wanting to push myself to burst out there and go looking for her? She's fine! As soon as I think that I hear my phone vibrate in the pocket of my shorts! Oh! That's probably her! I reach over to my towel, drying my hands before grabbing my phone. I take look at the message I just got, it's from Yuri?
Y: 'Hi Botan, I know this may seem a little short notice but can you please come down to the shop? I require your assistance with something' …sigh, fuck off man! I shake my head and chuck my phone away! Fucking Yuri! Why does she have to ask me of all people?! Why not her fucking boy toy?! sigh...calm down man. I'm losing it. Having no Monika around is really bad for me. She's the only thing keeping me from floating away from reason. With Coomer now here too, I guess it's all starting to pile up somewhat? Sigh...right. I pick my phone back up and send Yuri a text.
B: 'kk Yuri, give me 5 mins' I sigh as I sit up, so much for this bath? I quickly get out and dry myself off with a towel. I then walk out of the bathroom after pulling the plug on the bath, my phone vibrates again? I check it, another message from Yuri.
Y: 'thank you very much, please bring your best suit too!' ...oh right! I quickly dry off my hair and get in costume before running to the window-wait! I check on the timer in the kitchen, there's still around fifteen minutes to go? I turn the heat down to the minimum and make the adjust on the time, I just to be sure I don't want to burn down my new home. Monika would kill me. I leap out of the window into the dying light of the day! Okay, to the store! I don't know what's going on with Yuri but she might need my help! Although her texts were quite casual there? No matter! I swing into the air and land on a roof as I see the shop in the distance! Right, be ready for anything! I jump across a gap and leap off of a roof to see Yuri in front of the store? She looks....glum? I land not too far away from her as she looks at me, she doesn't look happy that's for sure? "Thanks for coming Sparrow." She's using my hero name?
B: "Of course citizen? What do you need?" I walk up to her as she looks around herself?
Y: "Uhm, well... there's a person in the store who's...well..." Yuri looks into the store and shivers? "I don't think he's mentally well at all..."
B: "What do you mean?" I look into the store as I spot a man? He's throwing things about in a crazed like fashion?
Y: "I would deal with this myself but..." Yuri whispers as she eyes one of the numerous cameras in the store. "I can't really run off and just come back you know?"
B: "I understand, well what do you think is wrong with him?" She shrugs?
Y: "He came in normal at first, he smiled and even said hello. Next thing I knew he started screaming all of sudden?" We look at the man as he climbs on top of the counter? "I've never seen anything like this before?"
B: "Calm down Yuri, I'll take care of it...did you call for police and an ambulance? This might be a drug related issue."
Y: "I have Sparrow don't worry. All the doors are locked so it will only be you and him in there. Just try not to make too much of a mess please?"
B: "Got it." I walk into the store slowly as most of the lights are off? I look back at Yuri who only locks the front door behind me and gives me an encouraging smile. I think she's a little scared to be in this type of situation. After all...it is very dark, and I'm not too fond of this situation already. I grab a torch from my pouch and get moving, the store just frozen in silence it seems? Okay, come on Botan. You got this. You've dealt with much worse things than just a potential drugged up man. This should be a piece of cake...hopefully? "Hello??" I call out rather nervously, but the silence I get in return just makes my spine shudder. "I'm here to help, please make yourself known!"
?: "YAH!!" A sudden scream comes from my left as I see the man on all fours quickly moving about between the stalls?! What the hell has gotten into him?! I look around before getting the good idea of zipping myself up to the roof to get a birds eye view of the whole store. I do just that and shine my torch downwards, quickly spotting the man huddled over some flowers as he eats them?? Jeez, this man's not right at all! He looks at me with a crazed look before slowly turning. "Ah! baga to yos!" He stares at me as he talks gibberish. "Joka in plot bin!" I just feel sorry as he stares at me, he needs serious help. "Ah! Yoga bob!" He picks up a candle and throws it at me! I'm able to get out the way but it lands me back onto the store floor and out of sight of the man. I can hear him moving about as I try to keep quiet, I need to get the jump on him. I don't want to hurt him of course, this could be some sort of episode he's suffering from? I spawn in some sleeping gas as I look around for him, just going to put to him to sleep so that I can start to look him over. This must be some- "Yawh!" The man jumps on my back as I stagger for a second! He hits me or rather slaps me in the head a few times before I grab his arm and throw him off of me! I'm not too hard as I only pull him off and get in front of me as he tries to scramble to his feet, but sadly for him I'm too quick as I hook his head and apply the gas to his mouth and nose. The man struggles at first but starts to slow down as he eyes close and then he's out. I set him down into the recovery position as I look at him. Poor guy, what was the cause of this? I look at his face as...hold on? I know this guy? That's....Nick! The guy who I saved on my first night here! What's he doing back here?! Nick looks a little worse for ware, his beard is a lot longer as is his hair. He looks like a wild man if anything. His clothes are rather nice though? I get a closer look at him as he breaths gently. I told him not to come back! Or...did he choose to come back? Maybe he was found by some of the big mans' guys? I look at Nick for any sign of some drug use, he couldn't have a mental condition like that? Soon I find two needle marks in both his neck and right arm? Two marks? Hmm, why did he get injected twice? What is this stuff? I take a capsule and a blood sample for later. Sayori and Yuri can take a look at that. If the drug runs in the blood then that will be where our answers lie. The room then gets lit up in blues and reds as the police arrive first! I pick up Nick and carry him to the door as Yuri sees me coming. She unlocks the door as she looks at me.
Y: "Thank you Sparrow! What was wrong with him?"
B: "Drug." I say to her and she subtly nods. The police come over and start talking to Yuri as the ambulance arrives shortly after. I give them the run down of Nicks' actions as well as another sample of blood for them to test, the authorities could do with a heads up about what this drug actually is. Nick gets carted away as things get rapped up rather quickly as the ambulance goes off to take Nick to hospital and the police leave after they take our statements and have a general look around. Soon it's only me and Yuri again, she looks at me.
Y: "Thank you again with your help Botan, I just didn't really know what to do...that was so sudden."
B: "Don't mention it...here..." I hand her the sample as she looks at it.
Y: "Is that from the man?" She asks wearing a serious expression.
B: "Yeah, you and Sayori can look it over. You two are the brains after all..."
Y: "Very well then..." She pockets it as she looks at me again. "What's wrong? You look...rather sombre?"
B: "I knew that guy...Nick."
Y: "Were you friends or...?"
B: "Well, do you remember my first night in town?" Yuri thinks before she puts the pieces together.
Y: "Was that the man you helped?"
B: "It was. I told him to leave Yuri, and never come back. But..."
Y: "Did you think he was brought back here against his will?"
B: "He had two clear injection marks Yuri, one on his arm and another on his neck."
Y: "Hmmm...maybe he was jumped with that drug and let loose....like a guinea pig?"
B: "Maybe...or perhaps this was a message?"
Y: "What do you mean?"
B: "...the big man knows a lot Yuri, a whole lot more than we think he does." Yuri swallows as I sigh. "I need to get going, I have somewhere to be."
Y: "Oh okay, have a nice night! Thank you again!"
B: "Of course, see you later!" I swing away back home as I'm left feeling rather down. Poor Nick, I didn't wish to see him again but...to see him reduced to that? Is just sad... I arrive back home as I quickly head into the kitchen. I hope the food wasn't burnt! I check the food and see that it's...okay? It's fine I guess? I pull it out and look at it... you know what? I think that-
There's two quick knocks at the door and then shortly a giggle?
M: "Guess who's back~" ….oh fuck! I throw the food into the bin quickly and spawn in some replacement food as Monika comes into the kitchen! "Hey honey, why are you in gear?"
B: "Oh? I was just helping Yuri is all!" She nods as she looks at the food.
M: "Awww, you really made some dinner for us~?" I just nod as I take off my mask.
B: "I guess..." Monika smiles as she sniffs the air?
M: "hmm? Funny?" She then checks the bin... "....ohoho! Did it not go right the first time?"
B: "Uhhhh...no comment?"
M: "ehehe! It's fine Botan! Don't worry about it!" She sits down as she rubs her head. "aww, what a day. What did Yuri want with you?" Monika looks a little....jealous? Is it? I can't really tell. "I'm not jealous Botan." ...oh...
B: "Sorry! I just...it's been a pretty rough night." I sit beside her as she rubs my back.
M: "How'd you mean? You look pretty upset?"
B: "I just...I went to the shop because a man was...well for a lack for a better word, crazy." Monika nods for me to continue. "Yuri didn't want to run off to get changed so she called upon me."
M: "Why you?" Monika asks rather sternly?
B: "I don't know? Maybe she thought I was best suited to deal with this? I went in there and well..."
B: "It's...it was the guy who I helped on my first night. He was drugged Monika. Probably dragged back here in this mess, taken away from the chance I gave him! I just...don't think that's fair at all..." Monika nods slowly.
M: "Well...was he okay or...?"
B: "He was crazy. Acting like a wild man. A primate. He was eating flowers Monika!" Monika sighs.
M: "Poor guy...what was his name?"
M: "Sigh...well? Did you get a sample of his blood or something else?"
B: "I did, it's just...I thought I really helped him Monika. I thought I gave him a way out but...it wasn't enough..." Monika rests her head against my shoulder.
M: "You tried Botan. You tried, and that's good enough for me."
B: "It's not good enough for me though. Nick deserved a life! He didn't deserve that! To be someone's guinea pig!"
M: "Just relax darling...just...it's okay..." I sigh as Monika smiles sadly. "Hey? How about we go lie down and eat this food okay? Let's just snuggle together while eating pizza huh?" She smiles as I nod.
M: "Good boy..." She helps me up and takes the pizza as we go through to the other room to rest.
- Yuri's perspective -
Look at this mess! Was it too much for me to ask Botan to at least help me tidy this up? Sigh...I'm going to be here forever! As I'm sweeping the floor the lights suddenly come back on?
Y: "Huh?" I look at the lights as someone enters the store? "Hello?" …
A: "Boo!" I jump as I see Alex behind me?!
S: "ehehe!" I see Sayori also come skipping in as I relax.
Y: "oh, guys don't do that!"
A: "Sorry Yuri! It was too good to let this pass! What's going on by the way? Why was the place dark, and why is it a mess?"
S: "Are you okay Yuri?"
Y: "I'm fine, it's just...well a man came in with some sort of drug in him." I show Sayori the sample Botan gave me.
S: "Huh? Is this his blood?"
Y: "Yes." Sayori takes it and has a look.
S: "hmmm, if it's a drug I'll find out what drug it is!"
Y: "Thank you."
A: "Did you hurt yourself at all?"
Y: "No I'm fine! I just got Botan to help me is all!"
A: "...I see?"
Y: "I didn't want to disturb your night out guys, after all...I know you two really want to build bridges again after that whole duplicate incident."
S: "Yeah, we're getting better. Slowly but getting there!"
A: "Yeah! Just a few more nights out and we're golden!"
Y: "Just don't try anything together..."
S: "ohoho! I wouldn't worry about it Yuri! I'm not about to steal your man away from you~"
Y: "What?! No! We're just friends!"
A: "Sayori, really??"
S: "Man you two are just hopeless...ah well! You want our help Yuri?"
A: "Yeah! We can help tidy up!"
Y: "That would be grand, thank you!" Alex heads off as does Sayori as I continue sweeping. The three of us focus on cleaning up for awhile as the shop looks a little better! A few minutes have passed and we've managed to pick up most of the destroyed products as well as mop up the floor. Sayori is busy re-arranging the flower display as I finish up collecting the rest of the ruined flowers. I smile as I dump the rest of them into the bin and turn around to see Alex moving a few boxes. I glance over to Sayori, she seems to have this faraway look in her eye? She seems sad? uuu, I want to say something to her but I don't want to say the wrong thing! I walk up to Alex as he looks at me.
A: "Hey Yuri, what's up?"
Y: "Um, it might be just me but.... have you noticed Sayori has been quiet for the past ten minutes or so?" We glance at her as she's smiling while looking at a few flowers.
A: "Well... yeah. I didn't want to say this in front of her but, tonight was one of her quiet nights." I look at him as Alex looks generally worried. "She was... you know?" I nod.
Y: "I see... her rainclouds must of came in again..."
A: "Yeah... I didn't want to provoke her in some way so I just let her be."
Y: "That's probably the right move, she might just be having one of her down days..." We look on in silence as Sayori suddenly turns around and smiles at us.
S: "Okay! I'm done here, what about you guys? Is there anything else to do??"
A: "Uh...Yuri?" I look around... everything seems to be in order? If not, I'll just sort it out for tomorrow.
Y: "It's fine! I think we've done everything we could! Thank you for your help guys~"
A: "Of course!"
S: "You're welcome!" Sayori smiles as she skips to the front door. "I'm going to go ahead a little early if that's okay, I'm rather tired..."
A: "Are you sure? We should go together, that way Coomer can't pick you off Sayori."
S: "It's okay! I'll get the bus! Thanks for your concern~"
Y: "Well if you're sure, then goodnight Sayori~"
S: "Goodnight guys!" Sayori leaves and skips down the street.
A: "Well... we should think about leaving too."
Y: "Yeah... let me get my bag."
A: "Sure!" I head into the office to grab my things, only to notice the face in the corner of my eye! I turn to see nothing...uh? I could've sworn there was a face peaking into the shop? It might just be me, I've been very paranoid lately... Well, I'm sure it was nothing to worry about...
S: "sigh... so they both noticed me... I'm so fucking worthless..."
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2023.06.03 23:31 emptywithinyew Anyone recognize this family photo? Found on unidentified deceased male, July, 7th, 2000 in Seeley, California (Possibly Someone Whom Crossed The Border- USA/Mexico)
| || | submitted by emptywithinyew to FindTheMissingMexico [link] [comments]
Unidentified Person / NamUs #UP14755
Sex: Male, Race: Multiple
Date Body Found: July 7, 2000
Location Found: Seeley, California
County: Imperial County
Estimated Year Of Death: 2000
Estimated Age Range (Years): 30-50
Estimated Birth Year Range: 1950-1970
Estimated Height: 4’ 11” (59 inches) Hair Color: Black / Eye Color: Brown
The back of the photo has some writing and it is believed to say: "Rigoberto Chabes Gomes"
You can view the writing on the back of photo at this link below: https://imgpile.com/i/9lh1gj
Circumstances of Recovery: Located in an area frequented by migrants crossing through Mexico
Clothing On Body: black t-shirt with logo "501 is what astronauts wear under their space suits". Blue denim jeans. black leather belt, white buckle; pockets cut open. White socks. bikini style underpants with lepord-skin print on front
Footwear On Body: white athletic "Nike Air"
Direct Link To NamUs Case For Viewing: https://www.namus.gov/UnidentifiedPersons/Case#/14755?nav
If you have any information please contact: Imperial County Sheriff's Office- Coroner Division
Agency Case Number: 00-108 Main Phone: (442) 265-2105
Address: 328 Applestill Road El Centro, California 92243 / County: Imperial County
If you don’t feel comfortable contacting the agency yourself, no problem- you can message me anytime, with any information you might have and I’ll be more than happy to pass it along to the investigating agency all while making sure you remain 100% anonymous.
2023.06.03 23:16 RedHeadedRiot Dead dying dad
Passed away yesterday morning around 11:40 Eastern. First was diagnosed 3 years ago on June 8th. I've had family pass away. I run a recovery home and I've had residents pass away. I've had close friends and mentors pass away, but this is completely different. Staying sober no not even thinking about drinking over it. He would kick my ass if I did. When I was in rehab he came and we had a great talk and part of it included the next 5 years goals and that he just wanted me to be okay. That was 4 years ago and the list we made has all been accomplished. I am trying to stay positive and think about all the good times and all the good memories and there are a lot. However hospice took 3 hours to come to the house to pronounce him dead and take the body and it's really f****** with my head.
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2023.06.03 23:03 yunepio Analysis of all religions (3/3)
Posts in the series
In the previous post, we continued our analysis with a second round of eliminations of more religions that cannot reasonably be from a judging and fair God. At this point, only the Abrahamic religions remain to be analyzed, which we will do below.
The reason I wanted to analyze the Abrahamic religions together last is because they have many similarities. For one, they reference the same God and agree on many details: similar people, similar places, similar events and for the most part, even originated in the same region. In addition, two of them are the biggest religions in the world today, far ahead of all other religions in terms of adoption, nearly accounting for half of the people on the planet! The fact that they are spread out in time and that they reference each other, can at least in theory, represent a pattern of recurring communication. It's also possible that they're just copying from each others. Let's see!
The timeline of appearance of the Abrahamic religions from old to new is as follows: Judaism
- Year of inception: 3500 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
- Messenger: Moses
- Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham...
- Year of inception: 2000 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
- Messenger: Jesus
- Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses & other prophets.
- Year of inception: 1400 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Saudi Arabia)
- Messenger: Muhammad
- Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus & other prophets.
- Year of inception: 1000 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: Middle East (Egypt)
- Messenger: Hamza Ibn Ali Ibn Ahmad
- Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad & other prophets.
- Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: New York, United States of America
- Messenger: Joseph Smith
- Referenced prophets: Moses & Jesus. Does NOT reference Muhammad (Islam) nor Hamza (Druze)
- Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
- Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Iran)
- Messenger: Baháʼu'lláh
- Referenced prophets: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha...
Can the Abrahamic religions be instances of communication from their common God? It’s possible, however some issues surface:
- Issue 1: The Druze faith stands out with its secretive nature as it is intentionally restricted. This not only opposes the intention of communication, but also contrasts with the other Abrahamic religions that are all open.
- Issue 2: Mormonism and Baha’i Faith both start nearly 200 years ago in different places while not being compatible with each other. They cannot be both instances of communication. One of them isn’t, or both aren’t.
- Issue 3: Mormonism doesn’t accept Islam nor Druze, while Baha’i Faith accepts all major religions, even Buddhism, which is incompatible with Judaism, Christianity and Islam.
Let’s keep the issues above in mind and apply the same criteria to the Abrahamic religions in the same way we did to all of the others. We will analyze them in the chronological order of their appearance.
Let's analyze the message of Judaism.
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Judaism warns of judgment day and explains the conditions for success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss! It's the first religion to pass this criteria.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. While anyone can technically convert to Judaism, it seems like it was specifically destined for Hebrew people, who later became the Israelites. Many prophets after Moses were specific to the Israelites it seems. The beliefs themselves are universal, in that they don’t have anything in particular that caters to a specific group. Still, it seems restricted to the ethnic Jewish group.
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Judaism references previous prophets of monotheism who were supposedly sent by the same God. Prophets like Noah and Abraham. This means that before Judaism came along, there were previous instances of communication, which is necessary for a judging and fair God.
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. The idea that a God created everything and is testing humanity here on Earth is plausible and does align with the reality we are living. Almost all humans share a common life track: birth, weakness with need of care, strength and autonomy, weakness with need of care again, then death. Moreover, all humans have a certain level of free will. While no absolute free will of action exists, the free will to think and accept or reject ideas is guaranteed. This makes the judgment of such free will possible.
Now let's analyze Moses, the founder of Judaism.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. He was a leader to his people, the Hebrews. He saved them from the oppression they were living in under the Egyptians (1). He was known for his sense of justice and courage (2). Many of his stories are told in the Bible as well as in the Qur’an.
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Moses is the first to pass this criterion. Every single founder of religion who was mentioned previously, was publicly involved with either an existing religion that served as a launch pad or had a profession or interest that prepared the terrain for their claim. Moses was raised by the Egyptians, but never adopted their religion, nor was he involved in any other religion that he publicly taught or engaged in. He also wasn’t known to have any profession where he produced thought or knowledge.
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Moses killed an Egyptian who was mistreating one of his people. According to Britannica, Moses voluntarily killed the Egyptian after making sure that no one was looking (3). However, according to the Qur’an, Moses killed the Egyptian by accident after hitting him, and was instantly regretful asking God for forgiveness (4). Regardless of which version of the story is true, Moses fled because he feared for his life. Now here’s the sudden life direction change, he came back after a while by his own volition claiming to be sent by some God who was unknown to the Egyptians, then confronted the Pharaoh himself!!! No sane man would do such a thing! And not just that, he survived everything and won in the end!!!
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, put forward the exceptional claim that he was sent by a God he wasn't involved with when he left, confronted the ruler, and succeeded against incredible odds!
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. The message of Moses had and still has a big influence on this very day! There probably aren’t many people in the world today who don’t know who Moses is, regardless of their beliefs. He is one of the most important prophets in many major religions. His legacy is still a part of the Bible as the Old Testament.
If there is a judging and fair God, Moses is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He passes all the criteria while explicitly making the claim of being sent by a God. If he was a fraud, he would have had an existing history of it, and he wouldn’t have dared to come back to a place where he killed someone and feared for his life, then challenge its ruler and win! If he was a deluded self-appointed leader to his people, that delusion would have been his demise. He would have been killed, as other religious founders have. Instead, he and his people, although an oppressed minority without any military power, were able to escape their oppressors and defeat them! This is impossible without some powerful external assistance.
One can reasonably claim that the story of Moses is just a myth that is made to look impressive. That would be fair, except it had more impact than what a myth can fathom. That being said, even if we accept that it’s all a myth, or at least a heavily augmented truth, it is still told by other Abrahamic prophets who happen to have had similar or more impact than Moses did. This makes his story as valid as theirs can be. So, let’s continue our analysis. Sources:
(1) From Britannica
: Moses... Hebrew prophet, teacher, and leader who, in the 13th century bce... delivered his people from Egyptian slavery...
(2) From Britannica
: ...When he found an Egyptian taskmaster beating a Hebrew, probably to death, he could control his sense of justice no longer...
(3) From Britannica
: ...After checking to make sure that no one was in sight, he killed the tough Egyptian overlord...
(4) From the Qur’an
(translation): ˹One day˺ he entered the city unnoticed by its people. There he found two men fighting: one of his own people, and the other of his enemies. The man from his people called to him for help against his foe. So Moses punched him, causing his death. Moses cried, “This is from Satan’s handiwork. He is certainly a sworn, misleading enemy.” He pleaded, “My Lord! I have definitely wronged my soul, so forgive me.” So He forgave him, ˹for˺ He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Let's analyze the message of Christianity.
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. It does warn of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. It is definitely universal. Anyone can be a Christian, and it’s easy to find Christians from different countries, different ethnicities speaking different languages. It doesn’t get as universal as this!
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It references previous religions and prophets, like Noah, Abraham, Moses, and many others. All of them being sent by the same God.
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Some concepts in Christianity don’t align with reality well. Christians view Jesus as the son of God, but also as a part of God. God being three different entities, but still one: God the father, the holy spirit and the son. A concept called the trinity. Christians believe that God sacrificed his son in order to absolve humans from their sins. This doesn’t quite make sense for many reasons:
1: If God sacrificed his son in order to absolve us of our sins, judgment wouldn’t make sense. Also, why does a God have a son? Mortals have children to continue the species and to provide for them when they grow weak. A God doesn’t need a son...
- If God sacrificed his son, also a part of himself, it should have been the final act of life here on Earth. Instead, he let Muhammad come after and be so successful in reversing this idea, all while claiming to be sent by him!!! And what about the people who died a long time ago and never knew about this important sacrifice?
- The idea that God is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-loving doesn’t stand for a judging God. It simply isn’t possible for him to have these 3 attributes at the same time. If he is all-knowing, then he knows that many humans will fail his judgment and be severely punished. Consequently, if he is also all-powerful, being all-loving would have him not resort to judgment and not punish anyone. Since he insists on judgment with a heaven and hell, then he isn’t all-loving. Muhammad also happens to correct this idea.
- The conditions of success and failure in the upcoming judgment are not particularly fair. It’s not about what actions one does during their life, rather, it’s about accepting Jesus as savior. One can be the most ruthless killer, then just accept Jesus as savior in order to be absolved of all wrongdoing. Also, what about all the people who lived and died before Jesus was even born? They didn’t know Jesus; how can they accept him as savior? Haven’t they spent their lives following other rules? Isn’t that unfair to them?
Now let's analyze Jesus, the founder of Christianity.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Jesus had a notoriously flawless social reputation and was known for his noble morals.
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. He was raised Jewish, however he wasn’t particularly involved in any public religious activity, nor did he engage in any activity that produced thought or knowledge. He was a carpenter by trade (1), until his mission started. After which, and this is critical, he was immediately at odds with the existing Jewish teachings to the point of being in danger!
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. He was known to be a carpenter, then he suddenly turned into an itinerant preacher at odds with the established teachings (2). If he had been publicly learning or teaching Judaism before his claim, he would have failed this criterion, as almost all others have. However, it’s not the case, and the transformation is self-produced and puzzling! How does a carpenter who isn’t involved with religious matters nor any knowledge or thought producing profession, suddenly become an itinerant preacher with enough difference to the established faith to become a threat and a target?
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He died for his mission (the Christian version is in contrast with the Islamic version here). There is no better test of devotion. He also was at odds with the established Jewish religion, which made him a target. Most of the founders of religion that we have seen, never entered in conflict with the existing religions at the beginning, rather, they built upon them and benefited from their involvement with them.
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Christianity is the biggest religion today! Nearly 25% of humans are Christians, and the rest know or have heard of Jesus. Now this, is communication!!!
Similar to Moses, if there is a judging and fair God, Jesus is highly likely to be one of his messengers. His feat is even more impressive than that of Moses. His mission and success in correcting and complementing the existing Jewish faith against incredible odds, adds more credibility to his claim. Jesus changed the world and continues to do so today! Sources:
(1) From Britannica
: ...Joseph is said to have been a carpenter (Matthew 13:55)—that is, a craftsman who worked with his hands—and, according to Mark 6:3, Jesus also became a carpenter...
(2) From Britannica
: ...As a young adult, he went to be baptized by the prophet John the Baptist and shortly thereafter became an itinerant preacher and healer (Mark 1:2–28). In his mid-30s Jesus had a short public career, lasting perhaps less than one year, during which he attracted considerable attention...
Let's analyze the message of Islam.
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Islam clearly warns of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. Consequently, it’s not safe to dismiss.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. Islam is universal. Anyone can be a Muslim, and it’s quite easy to find two Muslims who are from different countries, ethnicities and don’t share the same language. The yearly pilgrimage where millions of Muslims gather is proof to how diverse Muslims can be.
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Islam references many past prophets (25 in total), including but not limited to: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, David, Jacob, Jonas, Moses, Jesus... It clearly states that God has been communicating since the beginning out of fairness, so that people wouldn’t find any excuse when judgment comes!
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. Islam insists on monotheism, and clearly reverses the trinity concept that has gotten into Christianity, as well as the idea that God is all-loving, on top of being all-knowing and all-powerful.
It aligns with reality well by describing reality as a test of free will. Life is neither the suffering Buddhism makes it out to be (which it isn’t), nor is it the joyous life Tenrikyo claims it should be (which again, isn’t). Every single human is continuously tested through good and bad. When it is something bad, it is their patience and acceptance that is tested. When it is something good, it is their capacity of being thankful and generous that is tested. Everyone’s life is a mix of good and bad. Exceptions exist and are accounted for.
Islam states that God has been sending prophets since the beginning in order to remind people that judgment is coming. It states that people who didn’t get the message will be tested again. Those who got the message of the prophet of their time, accepted it and followed its guidelines, shall pass the judgment. Those who rejected the message after receiving it clearly shall fail.
Now let's analyze Muhammad, the founder of Islam.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Prior to his claim, Muhammad was highly regarded by his community and known for his trustworthiness (1).
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Again here, Muhammad was not involved in the pagan polytheist religion of his community, even though it was popular, nor was he involved in any other religion. He was a successful merchant (2) and notoriously illiterate (3). He didn’t have any profession or interest that produced thought or knowledge.
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Muhammad’s life changed drastically after he supposedly received revelation. The first contact shocked him greatly (4). After telling his wife what happened, she took him to her cousin who was knowledgeable about the Jewish faith. He told Muhammad that what happened to him was similar to Moses, and that a day will come when his community chases him away.
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Muhammad suffered a lot for his claim and was under constant threat of death (5). He used to request to be guarded at night, however upon receiving revelation that God will protect him from people, he sent the guards away from that moment on (6). He was never harmed even while having many enemies who wanted to kill him.
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Muhammad, an illiterate person living in a remote desert, without any special means or skills, was able to spread his message everywhere, and he predicted it from the start (7). He created a civilization that would change the world in just 23 years. Like Christianity, Islam is found almost everywhere, and almost everyone has heard of him and his religion. It’s not by chance that the most popular male first name in the world today is “Muhammad” (8).
If a judging and fair God exists, Muhammad is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He was leading a normal and regular life in a polytheistic society for 40 years, then suddenly started preaching monotheism, suffering for it and even going to war for it. Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia
: ...Due to his upright character he acquired the nickname "al-Amin" (Arabic: الامين), meaning "faithful, trustworthy" and "al-Sadiq" meaning "truthful" and was sought out as an impartial arbitrator. His reputation attracted a proposal in 595 from Khadijah, a successful businesswoman. Muhammad consented to the marriage, which by all accounts was a happy one...
(2) From Wikipedia
: ... It is known that he became a merchant and "was involved in trade between the Indian Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea...
(3) From Wikipedia
: ... Because he could not read and write himself...
(4) From Wikipedia
: ...Muhammad was deeply distressed upon receiving his first revelations. After returning home, Muhammad was consoled and reassured by Khadijah and her Christian [sic] cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal
. He also feared that others would dismiss his claims as being possessed...
(5) From Wikipedia
: ...Regardless, several attempts were made at Muhammad's life...
(6) From Qur’an
. Aisha said: "The Prophet was being guarded until this verse وَاللَّهُ يَعْصِمُكَ مِنَ النَّاسِ (Allah will protect you from mankind) was revealed." She added; "The Prophet raised his head from the room and said; «يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ انْصَرِفُوا فَقَدْ عَصَمَنِي اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَل» (O people! Go away, for Allah will protect me)"
(7) From Sunnah
: Miqdad reported that he heard God’s messenger say, “There will not remain on the face of the earth a mud-brick house or a camel’s hair tent which God will not cause the confession of Islam to enter bringing both mighty honour and abject abasement. God will either honour the occupants and put them among its adherents, or will humiliate them and they will be subject to it.” Miqdad said, “God will then receive complete obedience.”
Let’s analyze the Druze faith!
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): FAIL. It’s not an extinct religion, but it is intentionally restricted and doesn’t accept conversions to it. How can this be a communication from a judging and fair God if the people being judged cannot have access to the material they need to succeed? If it stated that only a specific audience was targeted, that might have worked, but it doesn't say that, at least not when it started.
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Since Druze references other Abrahamic religions, I’m giving it a pass here, even though it’s not clear what the Druze actually believe.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It’s far from being universal. It doesn’t want to be, and it’s not.
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It does reference other religions, even though it’s not clear in what capacity. Are the previous religions considered as previous instances of communication? Or does it complete its worldview with their knowledge? I’ll give it a pass.
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Its closed nature makes it impossible for it to align with reality.
Now let's analyze Hamza Ibn Ali, the founder of Druze.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. The Druze faith was named after Al-Darzi, who might have been either a disciple or a teacher of Hamza. A rivalry appeared between the two. Al-Darzi disputed the role of Hamza as the leader of the movement. They were both acquiring followers and engaged in regular brawls (1). So in summary, God supposedly sent Hamza as a messenger preaching that the current ruler was the embodiment of said God (If God is the embodiment of the ruler, why need Hamza at all?!!), then another man entered in competition with this messenger, who was also tolerated by the ruler, and even ended up giving his name to the movement, all the while the followers of each man fought each other. Then after said ruler was killed, the movement disappeared from its place of inception, but survived elsewhere and became a restricted religion. This doesn’t show anyone involved in a good light, especially not Hamza.
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. There isn’t enough information about Hamza Ibn Ali before he entered Egypt in 1017. However, he fails the non-involvement rule, as he was appointed as a preacher in his own mosque before he started claiming that the reigning caliph was the embodiment of God (2). Rather convenient since that granted him support and favors (3).
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. He supposedly received revelation, however that didn’t seem to cause any change in his life whatsoever. Receiving an unexpected contact from some God is supposed to cause a noticeable drastic change in one’s life, unless such revelation was expected or planned. Suffice it to say that he was already a preacher before supposedly receiving revelation.
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Hamza definitely feared for his life but continued with his claim. He went into hiding, which seems a little bit cowardly for a prophet. In contrast, Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, because he believed there was a God protecting him. The same happened with Muhammad who confidently sent guards away after revelation. However, since Hamza continued with his claim, considering this as a pass seems fair.
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. Hamza Ibn Ali failed to spread his message even though he initially set out to (4). If one is to say that the message couldn’t spread because of persecution, well, the same persecution occurred for Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and yet, these messages spread everywhere despite everything.
It’s extremely unlikely that the Druze faith is a communication from a judging and fair God. Its founder fails a combination of some important criteria. Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia
: ...Indeed, in his epistles, Hamza is critical of his colleague, both for al-Darzi's disputing Hamza's role as the leader of their movement, as well as for his followers' over-zealous, extremist and provocative actions, which revealed the movement's ideas prematurely and placed it under danger of attack... During this time, the followers of the rival leaders engaged in regular brawls in the streets of Cairo, cursing one another as infidels.
(2) From Britannica
: ...Almost nothing is known of his life before he entered Egypt in 1017. He became a spokesman for the religious convictions of the Fāṭimid caliph al-Ḥākim (the Fāṭimids were the ruling dynasty in Egypt), who was already accorded the position of imām, a divinely appointed and authoritative spokesman for Islam...
(3) From Wikipedia
: ...According to the medieval chroniclers, he too enjoyed signs of favour from al-Hakim: when he complained to the Caliph that his life was in danger, he was given weapons, which he demonstratively hung on every entrance to the Raydan Mosque...
(4) From Britannica
: ...Considerable resistance to these doctrines appeared when they were first preached in 1017, and Ḥamzah went into hiding until 1019, when al-Ḥākim was able to move vigorously to support the new religious movement... Ḥamzah claimed to be representing not just another sect but rather an independent religion, one that superseded traditional Islam. Al-Ḥākim disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 1021, and, much persecuted, the Druze cult all but ceased to exist in Egypt...
Let’s analyze Mormonism:
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Mormonism is built on top of Christianity and Judaism, to which it delegates a vast chunk of knowledge. Consequently, I’ll give it a pass here.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It is far from being universal. If it was God’s way to bring Christianity to its rightful state, the least we can say is that it didn’t happen. Most of Mormons are still in Utah (U.S state), where they went after Smith was killed.
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Mormonism references both Christianity and Judaism. This makes it pass this criterion, however, the fact that it doesn’t reference Islam is problematic for its worldview.
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Being based on Christianity, Mormonism inherits some of the same issues. It corrects some, but also introduces some of its own. For example, Mormonism states that there are three separate divine entities, God the father, Jesus Christ and the holy spirit. They’re not three in one, as Christianity says. This doesn’t solve the issue of sacrificing one divine entity for the sins of humans while still judging them. It only adds complexity. Are these Gods equal? What if they don’t agree on something? This also goes against Judaism, which Mormonism references, and with Judaism comes the whole legacy of monotheism! Mormonism corrects the idea that salvation only depends on accepting Jesus as savior. It adds the fact that deeds play a role, which is fair.
Now let's analyze Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. Smith’s reputation was less than stellar (1). His treasure hunting profession isn’t exactly the most honest of professions. Also, eloping to marry his wife, attempting to marry already married women, escaping justice, dying in a shoot-out with the mob...
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. He fails the non-involvement rule on many accounts. He was heavily involved with public religious activity and even magic, in a place and time where religious revivalism thrived (2).
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Supposedly receiving revelation in 1823 via the angel he called Moroni, didn’t surprise him, nor seemed to have much effect on his life direction. He continued treasure seeking using questionable methods and leading the same life.
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Smith was extremely devoted to his cause. He never gave up until the end!
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Mormonism was God’s way to bring back Christianity to its rightful state, then the mission simply failed. It seems like Christianity enjoys far more universality than Mormonism. In this regard, Smith failed his mission, as most of the followers of the religion are still based where their ancestors ended up after the death of Smith.
(1) From Wikipedia
: ...Meanwhile, the Smith family faced financial hardship... Family members supplemented their meager farm income by hiring out for odd jobs and working as treasure seekers, a type of magical supernaturalism common during the period. Smith was said to have an ability to locate lost items by looking into a seer stone, which he also used in treasure hunting, including, beginning in 1825, several unsuccessful attempts to find buried treasure sponsored by Josiah Stowell, a wealthy farmer in Chenango County, New York. In 1826, Smith was brought before a Chenango County court for "glass-looking", or pretending to find lost treasure; Stowell's relatives accused Smith of tricking Stowell and faking an ability to perceive hidden treasure... Although Smith had abandoned treasure hunting, his former associates believed he had double crossed them and had taken the golden plates for himself, property they believed should be jointly shared. After they ransacked places where they believed the plates might be hidden, Smith decided to leave Palmyra
(2) From Wikipedia
: The region was a hotbed of religious enthusiasm during the Second Great Awakening. Between 1817 and 1825, there were several camp meetings and revivals in the Palmyra area… Smith said that he became interested in religion by age 12… With other family members, Smith also engaged in religious folk magic, which was a relatively common practice in that time and place…
- Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
- Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): UNKNOWN. Baha’i Faith claims to be a unification of all the major religions. The issue is that some of the religions it references speak of judgment, like Judaism, Christianity and Islam, while others don’t, like Buddhism and Hinduism. While Baha’i Faith speaks of a day of judgment, it doesn’t seem to view it in the same way. It speaks of deeds being judged, but not according to each religion’s standards, rather, according to Baha’i Faith’s standards, which I have failed to find after multiple searches. If the conditions of success and failure aren’t clear, the God of Baha’i Faith cannot possibly be fair. I’ll mark this as unknown, but it’s actually closer to a failure.
- Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. In theory, Baha’i Faith should be universal, as it calls for the unification of all the major religions. It attempts to please everyone, but even while doing so, its numbers remain low, and is mostly unknown.
- Criterion 4 (Past reference): FAIL. Baha’i Faith references all major religions, but not as past instances of communication. It essentially claims that there is only one religion, and that the major religions were manifestations of God, but don’t necessarily represent said unique religion correctly. It references all major religions only to change their core beliefs in order to achieve unification. Said another way, this One God, has left people to be duped by false religions since the start, and only thanks to Baháʼu'lláh in the 1800s, did he think to show the truth to people. What about those who died long before Baháʼu'lláh was even born, and who followed Buddhism for example without ever believing a God existed?
- Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. This is a big failure. Baha’i Faith doesn’t make much sense, to the point of being revolting, to me at least! It attempts to be everything to everyone. Its founder claims to be Christ returned for Christians, the second coming of Jesus for Sunni Muslims, the Imam Husayn for Shi’a Muslims, the reincarnation of Krishna for Hindus, and the fifth Buddha for Buddhists. Never mind what each one of these symbols means in the context of its own religion, it just takes the concept and runs with it. It disregards most of what is associated with these symbols, it only needs its acknowledged existence. Let’s not forget that most of these religions do not agree with each other! It attempts to reconcile worldviews that are incompatible with each other. It picks and chooses what it wants from each major religion and disregards the rest.
Now let's analyze Baháʼu'lláh, the founder of Baha'i Faith.
- Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Coming from a wealthy family, he was known to give considerable amounts of time and money to charity.
- Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. The founder of Baha’i Faith, Baháʼu'lláh, as well as the founder of Bábism, Siyyid Ali Muhammad, known as the Báb, and who laid the foundation for Baha’i Faith, both fail the non-involvement rule. They were both heavily involved in public religious matters before and at the time of their claims (1) (2). We are not talking about regular religious people going about their day, then making an exceptional claim out of nowhere, no! It’s practically the same scenario every time: a person is deeply involved with religious matters, or actively pursuing a profession or an interest, which leads them either by opportunity or by delusion to their claim. It’s the same here!
- Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Baháʼu'lláh had already set the course of his life and was already deeply involved in religious matters before he supposedly received his first divine revelation, which was in prison. From then on, not much had changed.
- Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He stood by his claim and spent most of his life in prison. It’s important to note though that he wasn’t initially imprisoned because of his claim. Rather, it was because of his involvement with Bábism.
- Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Baháʼu'lláh was sent by the one and only God in order to unify all major religions, such unification hasn’t happened successfully.
It's highly unlikely that Baha'i Faith is a communication from a judging and fair God. Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia
: Some of his earlier writings suggest that he did not enjoy the business and instead applied himself to the study of religious literature… He was constantly absorbed in his own thoughts, and was preoccupied with repetition of his prayers and verses… In 1841 the Báb went on pilgrimage to Iraq, and for seven months stayed mostly in and around Karbala. There he attended lectures of Kazim Rashti and became his follower… As of his death in December 1843, Kazim Rashti counseled his followers to leave their homes to seek the Mahdi, who, according to his prophecies, would soon appear. One of these followers, Mullá Husayn, after keeping vigil for 40 days in a mosque, traveled to Shiraz, where he met the Báb…
(2) From Wikipedia
: Soon after declaring his spiritual mission to Mullá Husayn, the Báb sent him to Tehran to deliver a special tablet to one whom God would guide him to. After learning about Baháʼu'lláh through an acquaintance, Mullá Husayn felt compelled to arrange for Baháʼu'lláh to receive the tablet—this news brought great joy to the Báb when Mullá Husayn wrote to him about it…
After analyzing all the religions, the ones that are highly likely to be communications from a judging and fair God if one exists, are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They are the only religions that satisfy most of the criteria. In fact, their founders are the ONLY ones who satisfy all the criteria, specifically the criterion of non-involvement prior to their claim of a contact with a God. All the other founders were involved in one way or another, making their claim a possible result of either fraud or delusion.
It is important to note though: we haven't proven that a judging and fair God exists, and we haven't proven that these religions are actually communications from him
, not at all. All we did was to reasonably prove that if a judging and fair God exists, then Judaism, Christianity and Islam are highly likely to be communications from him
In the next post, we will continue our research and see how we can reasonably prove that a judging and fair God exists.
Until next time!
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2023.06.03 22:56 Asst2RegionalMngr Question re: capital gains and step up in cost basis after house put in trust
Hi all, have a complicated situation.
My parents owned a house in california. My dad got sick last year and lost some of his decision making ability, so we decided to create a trust early this year, with the plan of putting the house(among other assets) into the trust. We created the trust and signed a trust transfer deed to move the house into the trust, but we never got around to actually sending this form to the county recorder. This was in January 2023.
In february, my dad got acutely sick and passed away. California is a community property state, so in this case there is a step up in cost basis for our house(which my mom owned solely after my dad passed). We had the house assessed and the cost basis understandably jumped significantly, which will be helpful in mitigating tax burden when my mom eventually sells.
We just had the trust transfer deed sent to our county recorder, and just got confirmation that the house is officially in the trust.
I have a few questions:
- Now that the house is in a trust(my mom and I are co-trustees), does that disqualify us from the step up in cost basis and/or the $500,000 capital gains exclusion for selling a primary residence?
- Since the trust transfer form was actually signed/notarized prior to my dad's passing(Jan 2023), does that mean the the house is retroactively placed into the trust in January 2023?
- If the above is true, does THAT disqualify us from the step up in cost basis or the capital gains exclusion?
Sorry for the complicated post, really looking for some advice here for planning purposes.
TLDR: Parents and I signed and notarized form putting their house into a trust controlled by mom and i. Dad passed away before this form was sent to the county. Form now sent and house officially placed into trust, the recording date is 4/27/23 but the form itself is signed 1/2023. How do these factors affect our step up in cost basis of the house and potential capital gains exclusion from home sale of a primary residence?
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to tax [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 22:56 Crazy_Ask_41 CK3 run favorite playstyle
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2023.06.03 22:32 Nate-dude Mother has always gaslighted
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Screenshots above submitted by Nate-dude to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
TLDR; mother manipulates and appears to be severely borderline. Stayed low contact for awhile, foolishly trusted her again, moved my family in with her temporarily waiting for a good opportunity to buy and the second the lease went up and I couldn’t leave she started again. My mom hates me.
My (30M), my fiancé (25F) and son (5) just moved out of an expensive apartment to save money and live with my mother (70F) who has always treated me poorly.
4 years ago I split with my sons mother and stayed with my parents. It was horrible, my mother would go through my garbage and accuse me of things all the time. Found out she had been telling my sister I refused to help her around the house, made he clean my room, and abused her daily. This resulted in my sister (40 F) going absolute red dawn on me and basically eviscerated me as a human being in front of my child, who at the time was 18 months old and is autistic.
Went no contact for about a year until my father died and then went low contact. The reason for no contact was because I found out my mother told the woman I was in a custody battle with that she suspected I was drinking alcohol and doing drugs every night and that I forced her to watch my child - none of which is even remotely true.
Fast forward 2023 my mother tells me she wants to help my family heal, and help me gain health (I work in a prison and it takes a toll on me, recently diagnosed as bipolar, and am an alcoholic in recovery)and that she is lonely with the passing of my father. Begs us to stay, acts super cool, apologizes for hurting me and said her meds were messed up and that she was stressed taking care of my father. We met with her and said we didn’t want to be around my sister and my mother said she doesn’t speak with her and basically blamed my sister for the outburst. We told my mother financially we were fine but this would allow us to get ahead of the market and that if it would be a problem at all we didn’t need to do it.
2 days after my lease expires and we move in my sister comes over unannounced and is there all day while I’m at work and my fiancé is working from home. I picked up my fiancé and drove around for 3 hours until she left with my son. When I got home my mom walked passed me with out looking at me and started yelling at my fiancé in front of my child saying “would you like to explain to me how you feel uncomfortable?” I walked out and my mother slammed her car door and sped off without even looking at me. I asked her to text me so I could at least get other eyes on the communication.
I have always suspected her as boderline, but this time was extra evil. She uprooted me under the guise of an amazing opportunity to save money for a dream home and now I’m hiding in a bedroom feeling like a failure of a husband/father.
Honest opinions please, I know there are two sides. Is this obvious abuse or am I out of like here? Please this has been my whole life and it confuses the crap out of me. TIA
2023.06.03 22:23 Joadzilla Georgia probe of Trump broadens to activities in other states
An Atlanta-area investigation of alleged election interference by President Donald Trump and his allies has broadened to include activities in D.C. and several states, according to two people with knowledge of the probe — a fresh sign that prosecutors may be building a sprawling case under Georgia’s racketeering laws.
Fulton County District Attorney Fani T. Willis (D) launched an investigation more than two years ago to examine efforts by Trump and his allies to overturn his narrow 2020 defeat in Georgia. Along the way, she has signaled publicly that she may use Georgia’s Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) statute to allege that these efforts amounted to a far-reaching criminal scheme.
In recent days, Willis has sought information related to the Trump campaign hiring two firms to find voter fraud across the United States and then burying their findings when they did not find it, allegations that reach beyond Georgia’s borders, said the two individuals, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly about the investigation. At least one of the firms has been subpoenaed by Fulton County investigators.
Willis’s investigation is separate from the one at the Justice Department being led by special counsel Jack Smith, but the two probes have covered some of the same ground. Willis has said she plans to make a charging decision this summer, and she has indicated that such an announcement could come in early August. She has faced stiff criticism from Republicans for investigating the former president, and the ever-widening scope suggests just how ambitious her plans may be.
The state’s RICO statute is among the most expansive in the nation, allowing prosecutors to build racketeering cases around violations of both state and federal laws — and even activities in other states. If Willis does allege a multistate racketeering scheme with Trump at its center, the case could test the bounds of the controversial law and make history in the process. The statute calls for penalties of up to 20 years in prison.
“Georgia’s RICO statute is basically two specified criminal acts that have to be part of a pattern of behavior done with the same intent or to achieve a common result or that have distinguishing characteristics,” said John Malcolm, a former Atlanta-based federal prosecutor who is now a constitutional scholar at the conservative Heritage Foundation. “That’s it. It’s very broad. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to charge a former president, but that also doesn’t mean she can’t do it or won’t do it.”
Among Willis’s latest areas of scrutiny is the Trump campaign’s expenditure of more than $1 million on two firms to study whether electoral fraud occurred in the 2020 election, the two individuals said. The Post first reported earlier this year that the work was carried out in the final weeks of 2020, and that the campaign never released the findings because the firms, Simpatico Software Systems and Berkeley Research Group, disputed many of Trump’s theories and could not offer any proof that he was the rightful winner of the election.
In recent days, Willis’s office has asked both firms for information — not only about Georgia but about other states as well. Trump contested the 2020 election results in Georgia, Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.
Ken Block, the CEO of Simpatico Software Systems, declined to comment on what he has turned over to investigators. A lawyer for the Berkeley Research Group also declined to comment. A spokesman for Willis declined to comment on the investigation. Lawyers for Trump also declined to comment.
It is unclear if Willis will seek indictments of people for alleged actions that occurred outside Georgia, such as those who participated in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol. RICO experts say it’s unlikely she will do so. But, these experts said, the law allows Willis to build a sweeping narrative of an alleged pattern of behavior to overturn the 2020 election, with Georgia as just one piece. Evidence and actions outside the state, such as Trump’s statements from Washington that inspired some of the rioters and the parallel efforts to overturn other states’ results, could be presented as additional evidence that helps establish that pattern.
“The Georgia statute is broadly written” to allow the inclusion of violations of federal law as well as some other states’ laws, said Morgan Cloud, a law professor at Emory University in Atlanta and expert on the state’s RICO law. “For example, acts to obstruct justice committed in Arizona might be relevant if the goal of the enterprise, of the racketeering activity, was to overturn the 2020 presidential election nationally, as well as in Georgia.”
Cloud added that prosecutors in Georgia must prove only that two racketeering crimes occurred under the state RICO statute, but that other facts could be used to explain the breadth of an alleged scheme.
An ambitious prosecution
Willis’s investigation has already come under scrutiny as a test of applying state criminal laws to actions that revolved around a federal election — and that in many instances resembled constitutionally protected speech. The probe has prompted a debate, even among those who believe Trump’s efforts were improper, as to whether prosecutors will be able to prove that Georgia crimes were committed.
Her potentially sweeping application of Georgia’s RICO statute could amplify those questions. RICO allows prosecutors to target leaders of alleged criminal enterprises who in previous generations eluded convictions. In Georgia, it can be applied to many patterns of activity that are crimes under state or federal law, such as dogfighting or drug dealing, obstruction or conspiracy — going far beyond its origins as a tool to fight organized crime.
Several legal experts said they expect Willis to home in on possible false statements by Trump and his allies to government officials — one of the crimes that can be prosecuted under Georgia’s RICO statute.
In 2015, Willis attracted national attention as a deputy district attorney by using RICO to prosecute a massive cheating scandal in Atlanta’s public schools that sent eight teachers and administrators to prison.
Prosecutors in Georgia have obtained RICO convictions where the pattern of racketeering activity included actions in other states. In one notable case, prosecutors in Richmond County got convictions for several men they accused of kidnapping a Sam’s Club manager in a robbery scheme in 1998, stuffing him into the trunk of a car, driving to South Carolina and killing him by setting the car on fire.
In the Trump case, Willis has said she is focused on the phone calls Trump made to multiple Georgia officials seeking to reverse his defeat, his campaign’s efforts to persuade the Georgia legislature to declare Trump the winner, the gathering of Trump’s electors to cast electoral college votes for Trump after Joe Biden had been declared the winner in the state, and the Trump campaign’s potential involvement in an unauthorized breach of election equipment in rural Coffee County, Ga.
Dozens of people participated in those efforts, according to reams of emails, texts and deposition transcripts from the House investigation into the Jan. 6 attack: Trump lawyers such as Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, Sidney Powell, Ray Smith and John Eastman; senior advisers including then-White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows; Jeffrey Clark, then a senior official at the Justice Department; and Georgia GOP leaders including the party chairman, David Shafer, and its then finance chairman, Shawn Still.
Multiple legal experts have said persuading a jury that those actions broke the law could prove difficult. The debate reflects the unprecedented nature of Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 election. While the effort immediately prompted calls to hold him and others criminally responsible, identifying laws that apply to such a scenario has proved challenging — and could help explain why Willis’s investigation is in its third year. That dynamic applies both to the Georgia investigation as well as the special counsel’s federal probe.
Most of those scrutinized in the Willis investigation have maintained that they did nothing wrong. They had every right to pursue claims of anomalies, many have said, particularly given how close Biden’s margin of victory was in Georgia, two-tenths of 1 percent.
“There’s not a single thing that I did in pursuit of election integrity that I have any regret or concern about,” Shafer said in a recent GOP address.
“It’s dangerous,” said Malcolm, the Heritage scholar, referring to the investigation in Georgia of contingent electors. “What you’re doing is tainting political activists who are trying to play a part in an election, who are trying to help their candidate, and all of a sudden you’re launching a criminal investigation.”
Norm Eisen, who served as special counsel to the House of Representatives’ first impeachment of Trump, over his pressure campaign with Ukraine, cautioned that it’s too soon to judge the investigation, but said he believes the overall case is a “strong one.”
“Either skepticism or belief is premature because we are not privy to all the evidence that the district attorney has amassed at this point,” said Eisen, a criminal defense attorney and senior fellow at the Brookings Institution. “It just depends on the evidence.”
Eisen was among the authors of a lengthy examination of the applicable law in the Fulton investigation, concluding that possible crimes, besides racketeering, included making false statements and conspiracy to commit election fraud.
Malcolm said he agrees with the report’s conclusion that Trump is at substantial risk of being charged. But he said he believes much of its analysis is “slanted and misguided.”
Trump’s call to Georgia
Willis launched her probe shortly after Trump’s Jan. 2, 2021, phone call to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger (R), during which Trump said, “I just want to find 11,780 votes.” That number would have given Trump exactly the votes he needed to reverse Biden’s victory.
While Trump has been widely rebuked for that comment and others during the roughly one-hour call, it’s unclear to some legal analysts if uttering those words broke the law.
Trump did not spell out that he wanted Raffensperger to break the law; nor did he directly ask the state official to find the votes, which might have given Willis a clearer path to seek a felony charge against him, such as solicitation to commit election fraud. Instead, the comment could be interpreted as the president simply spelling out the math that would allow him to reverse Biden’s victory.
Trump may have hurt himself, however, in his appearance last month at a town hall broadcast by CNN, during which he explained that he called Raffensperger to tell him, “You owe me votes because the election was rigged.” Willis could offer the statement as evidence of Trump’s intent for Raffensperger to switch votes, several legal experts said.
“Subjects of criminal investigation aren’t usually reckless enough to go on national television and admit their corrupt intent,” Anthony Michael Kreis, a constitutional law professor at Georgia State University, wrote on Twitter after the appearance. “But Donald Trump just handed Fani Willis a new piece of evidence and tied a bow on it.”
Willis has also investigated appearances by Giuliani and other Trump allies before Georgia lawmakers in the days immediately after the 2020 election, during which they described fantastical conspiracies of voting machines swapping Trump votes for Biden votes and poll workers in Atlanta triple-counting suitcases full of ballots.
It’s a felony in Georgia to make a false statement in a government matter, but Willis must prove that Giuliani and the others knew that what they were saying was false. Giuliani was not speaking under oath, so there is no exposure for perjury charges, and some legal experts say he might also be protected under the First Amendment.
Willis may also examine the actions of Clark, then the acting assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s civil division, who wanted to send a letter to Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) and state legislative leaders falsely claiming that the department was investigating “significant concerns” in the 2020 election, and urging them to call a special session of the General Assembly to appoint Trump’s electors to cast Georgia’s electoral college votes. Senior Justice Department officials blocked Clark from sending the draft.
Whether the Republican electors who convened to cast electoral college votes for Trump on Dec. 14, 2020, broke the law is perhaps even murkier.
Georgia was among seven states where the Trump campaign and local GOP officials arranged for alternate electors to convene with the stated purpose of preserving legal recourse while an election challenge made its way through the courts. Willis has offered some form of immunity to 12 of the 16 electors, according to three individuals with knowledge of the investigation. Not counted among those with immunity are Still, now a Georgia state senator, and Shafer.
Shafer helped organize the meeting and presided over it. Still has been described in news reports as having blocked members of the media from entering the room before the meeting started. Prosecutors have apparently focused on those activities in their questions to various witnesses, according to three other people with knowledge of the interviews. Prosecutors have also inquired about who mailed the electoral certificates to Washington, they said.
One of Shafer’s lawyers, Holly Pierson, wrote in a letter to Willis that Shafer had no knowledge that Trump allies would propose, later in December, to use the alternate elector certificates to block the counting of electoral votes for Biden in the Jan. 6 joint session of Congress. It is not even clear if the plan to thwart the joint session had been hatched by Dec. 14, 2020, the day the electors met. The House committee did not refer Shafer or Still to the Justice Department for federal prosecution. Pierson declined to comment.
As the nation waits to see what, if any, charges Willis will seek, one key question is what evidence she has gathered that Trump, his campaign or allies knew about all the different efforts to reverse Biden’s victory. And that’s just the first step — getting to trial and persuading a jury may present even more formidable challenges.
“Proving all this beyond a reasonable doubt,” Kreis said, “that’s going to be the hard part.”
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2023.06.03 22:20 hashtagpearish Am I (F28) in the wrong that I am unable to accept my mother in law's (F56 I think) flaws (that everyone says is her inherent nature and everyone in the family have accepted and moved on)?
Frequent lurker, not so frequent poster!
Statutory disclosure, I don't know if I'm looking for an advice or simply looking to talk about it. Also, my head is all over the place, so the post might be long.
My husband (33M) and I (28F) got married about a year ago. What we have is a typical Indian family, us, his parents and his sibling.
They're all nice people, my husband is the most wonderful person I could ever think of being with. The problem lies in my Mother-in-law (MIL) (late 50ies).
MIL isn't necessarily a bad person, isn't a monster in law per se, even cares as much as a MIL could. But she's wayyyy too much into formalities, doing things just out of formality, offering to help out of formality, lying for no real reason, small stupid lies (like husband asked to make pancakes for breakfast and said you'll also eat that, when in fact husband had never said that). All of this makes it impossible for me to trust her. Even when she's being genuinely caring or genuinely concerned, I feel like she's faking it.
Another problem with her is her inherent nature, which I can only describe as being self-absorbed. It often feels like she believes she's above everyone else, she's always in the right. What she has, her kids have is the best. She wants to be above everyone else.
I am not the kind of daughter in law (DIL) she had expected. I can't cook, I can't talk much unless I am comfortable, I'm not too much into dressing up like a newlywed should. I've been told multiple times by her that don't I need more bling in my clothes, better jewelry, louder makeup? I am probably the opposite of what she'd wanted in her DIL.
In the last one year, I've been disrespected by her multiple time in multiple ways.
- During early days of our marriage, she'd ask my husband what I wanted like I don't exist, it stopped after my husband kept correcting her. Still happens sometimes.
- In husband's culture newlyweds are invited over by relatives for lunches/ dinners. I've cried my eyes out before a lot of those but the way she expected me to dress up, I wouldn't feel like me. Kinda got better when husband tried to balance the whole drama. I could disappointment in her eyes for me.
- I ask questions, my husband gets the answers, even when I'm right next to her. She may not be doing it to ignore me, but definitely husband is more important, she doesn't even realize what she's doing is wring, but it hurts me.
- She knew I had plans to see my mentor one afternoon, she wanted us to visit her niece who'd had a baby. She outrightly ignored my plans and kept asking my husband if we could visit the niece. Her reason being the baby was now 2 months old and I hadn't visited her once (I couldn't visit when baby was born because I was hospitalized during those days, next few weeks went in recovery, then I got busy with my new job).
- Once when the niece in the above point had visited home, MIL completely ignored my existence and was only talking to the said niece. (The niece was being considerate enough and trying to keep me involved). Now again to prove how fake I find my MIL, MIL hates this niece. Okay hate might be a strong word, but she doesn't adore the niece as much as she shows to do.
- She asks opinions, won't accept those. During early days of marriage, I would give suggestions, which were all ignored. I don't remember many instances, but things like maybe we can make this for dinner, and she'd say nobody in her house eat that. Which is okay, but if I am a part of the house now, it could be made for me, the thought never crossed her mind.
- She has always said/ done things in past which were disrespectful towards my parent (never directly to them) which didn't feel were wrong. Those instances have reduced significantly as my husband is constantly on his toes when it comes to my parent. So she doesn't do such things anymore, atleast not directly to me. She must be thinking stuff, even telling other people, but not to me anymore.
There are so many more instances, I could go on. Since the very beginning I've felt like an outsider here and feel that way today too. It has always been "her" house. And now I've accepted it to be "her" house which can never be mine.
Because of all of this, I've stopped talking to her more than necessary. I am civil, even caring, but I am not how I had hoped we would be. She has a problem with that because according to her, I don't talk to her, I am not free with her, like I am with my FIL and sibling in law. But I am this way because when I tried talking to her, it felt like she's just not interested.
Call me stupid but I'd expected to have a home here, in laws who were like parents. My husband is wonderful, FIL and sibling-in-law are good too. But because of MIL I'm not able to accept anybody. I'm not able to accept this place as home. Feels like a bread & breakfast where I have more responsibilities.
MIL has always been like this, the other three in the house have tried to change her over the past years, realised she won't and have accepted her as she is. She talks, they nod but do what they want to. They cater to her, do not disrespect in any way, they love her but they don't give into her unreasonable demands, or those demands which they are not in a position to fulfil because they have other plans. In short, in spite of her being her and trying to control the, they are living their life the way they want to.
Husband in many ways hopes I become like them too. Ignore MIL and live my life. But I'm not able to do that. If I ignore, I ignore 100%. I can't pretend, I can't fake. Every time I feel disrespected, I cannot ignore that. I am not able to move on from everything that happened over the past year. I have become cold towards everyone, I am not me anymore. I can't ignore her and carry on with my life happily, so I've become quiet and sad.
Every now and then I cry because of something or the other. On an average, I cry every 2-3 days. If for nothing else, I start crying because because of all of this, I'm drifting away from my husband. He's trying his hardest to hold me, to hold onto me, but I'm not able to warm up to him either. I hate it. I know this is not how I should treat him, he deserves better, so much better, but I'm just not able to give him that. I don't know what to do.
On some days I feel maybe its my fault that I am not able to accept MIL as she is, ignore her and live happily, like everyone in this house is doing. I feel like I'm wrong for not being able to ignore everything she does wrong (because that's her nature) and still love her. I've tried. I've not been able to.
I don't hate her. I care for her. But I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of living like this. My husband deserves better.
Am I really in the wrong? Should I try harder to accept her flaws, like her kids and her husband has?
P.S. Husband, FIL and sibling-in-law has told her most of the time she has done wrong to me. It isn't like they aren't doing anything to make me feel more comfortable. So much that FIL and MIL have had huge fights over some of the things she's done towards me and my family in the past. But MIL doesn't really learn, she may have accepted maybe 2 out of 10 mistakes, the other 8, she probably feels she wasn't in the wrong.
TDLR- MIL is a difficult person who feels she's always right and is above everybody else. Things she says/ does can be insulting. She also does a lot of things because society demands, does things for the sake of formality. Everyone else in the family have accepted and moved on. I am not able to do that. Consequences are, I am not even able to accept the other family members and I am drifting away from my husband. Am I wrong in being unable to accept that this is how she is and this is how she is to everyone, even her own children and husband?
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to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 22:03 GentleExaminer contact with objects from someone else's moldy home?
TLDR: Can being around objects that have been in a moldy house (and thus presumably have had contact with mycotoxins) cause the same or similar symptoms to living in a moldy house itself? If so, how many degrees apart would these symptoms be? *edit: Also, if you're stuff is around the stuff of a person who was previously living in a moldy house (and thus containing mycotoxins), do the mycotoxins rub off on your possessions?
Basically the context for this is that I recently had a surgery and while I’m recovering am staying in a hotel with my friend who is my caretaker for the time being. He has three suitcases of his stuff here. He recently found out that he has a significant amount of a number of molds in his house via ERMI. (For reference, his ERMI score is 17.2 and his HERTSMI-2 score is 14, with stachybotrys chartarum present in the results.) I’ve been having some symptoms after surgery that can sometimes be indicative of failed healing and that can sometimes be indicative of just the general healing process. Because these symptoms also are similar to the symptoms I initially experienced when my surgical pathology developed (which developed as a result of living in a moldy house), I am worried that living in the same space as his stuff is potentially making me sick again/impeding my healing. If this is the case I’d like to mitigate contact with his stuff during recovery but it would be challenging and costly to do so.
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to ToxicMoldExposure [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:35 Budget-Detective9917 Utilities cost
Hi everyone. Looking to rent a 3 bedroom 1 bath home in LA county (around pasadena). (House has a pool and garden.) Owner is saying utilities will cost about $700 a month. I would be the only one in the home, don’t cook, don’t use heater, would use AC few hours a day at night when it gets hot soon, and overall conserve water and electricity (very mindful about conservation). I’m thinking $700 is excessive; plus is it normal to charge tenant for water bill when most is for pool and garden?I’m asking for a break down of utilities from owner before I commit. Just looking to see what others in that area pay for an average sized single family home. Thanks!
submitted by Budget-Detective9917
to LosAngeles [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:34 Economy_Fortune_5529 King county housing authority.. raised my dent too 180 a month from 25 my only source of income is ssdi I do not feel that is right !!!
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2023.06.03 21:29 OnToGlory99 A good way to track triggers?
Recently my family has been going through allot. I’m a mom of 3 soon to be 4 Right after we found out I was pregnant I got appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery that took me out of work for a month in which time I was fired from my job. Shortly after my recovery time my husband quit his job (a week before all of our bills were due) to run his business full time which was fine at first he was getting business but but for whatever reason he’s not getting business anymore (I’m not sure if he’s just not trying or what) We are seriously struggling financially right now but me getting a job to help would end up making it worse with 3.5k in childcare expenses every month if I did. He is working driving for Uber to try and make up for the income loss but he’s always stressed and feeling guilty which makes me feel stressed and guilty. On top of this there’s a potential custody battle coming up and other extended family issues that we are also dealing with and our car threw a maintenance reminder this week and we are in a small house for our family size and it’s super cramped as well and there’s not much space to store things.
With me feeling stressed and guilty all the time on top of my hormones my parenting skills have been seriously lacking. I’ve been way more irritable and yelling allot which I don’t like and has been making the kids behavior worse as well. I get triggered often and since we can’t afford therapy I really need to try and help myself.
I just want to be a good mom and not raise my kids the same way I was raised (which is actually really hard?)
I find myself getting absolutely swept away when I’m triggered like I’m not in control of my body. In my logic thinking brain I’m like “hey this is unnecessary and mean and it not going to get them to listen” but I can’t pull myself away from yelling and being angry even if I’m telling myself to stop in my head
What are some things i can do to help myself? I don’t have allot of time to read because I also struggle with adhd and I can’t read if there is any background noise (with 3 kids obviously impossible) but i can journal and write I’m just not sure what to write
Sorry for the brain barf.
submitted by OnToGlory99
to ShadowWork [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:28 Special-Pear8019 Allergies: This graphic says it all
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I know it has been talked about here recently but after returning from Arizona and feeling 100% better, I looked it up again. Weekly allergy injections are helping (highly recommend) but I am still debilitated by allergies at times in KC. Also something to mention if you have asthma also, have your doctor check your eosinophils via blood test. Mine are high and I get Fasenra injections every eight weeks. (Other biologics are Xolair, Nucala, Dupixent) Eosinophils can even get into the esophagus and cause major issues. submitted by Special-Pear8019 to kansascity [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:24 Old_Heart_7780 To Grandmothers house we go..
This is one of those days I put my earbuds in and crank up the music. Balmy low barometer days are never fun for an old retired electrician.
I was thinking about grandmas house, Junior’s grandma. There was something in her backyard that interested the Indiana State Police shortly after their summer wading in shitty brown Wabash River water. There was some reason they were there in force digging through years of Coffee grounds, potato peelings Brown bananas, rotten peas, 10 Chunks of sour cottage cheese... I think someone tipped ISP investigators on grandma’s trash pit on the outskirts of town. They knew someone burned something in that large garbage/burn pit you can see from Google Earth.
There’s no mistaking who the tipster could have been. The one guy that knew what was thrown in the Wabash River below the Kelly Street Bridge. The guy seen in his bright orange Property of Miami County Jail jumpsuit. Wrists shackled at the waist and escorted by two plainclothes ISP detectives that logged him out of the county lockup for a brief jaunt around his hometown. This was no Warped Tour— these men were serious. They were being escorted to that site where Junior must have told the detectives his own dad threw that old hunting knife. A bloody murder weapon. He had to get rid of it somewhere— living in rural Indiana that muddy River was his safest bet. He could drive by it everyday on his way to work in Kokomo— the sick POS.
Junior told them where they’d find that murder weapon. Who else could have led them there last summer. Things started moving once they shook that tree. They let Junior know in no uncertainty they knew he used one of his electronic devices to look up the Marathon Gas Station in Delphi that morning. They had a 20 something year old man languishing away in a county jail paranoid that he’d get ALL the CSAM charges, including the 2 count first degree murder charges for killing two kids. I guarantee anyone reading my words that freaked the Junior out. It was a planted story to get him thinking— get him even more paranoid he’d get all the blame for that day in Delphi. He’s a manipulator and exploiter of vulnerable young girls— but he’s no killer. The killer is that other actor living in that shithole of a 2 story claptrap dirty white house on the banks of that impossibly muddy River. You ever seen that Tik Tok What’s Your Name? Me being Ezekiel— I’d love to yell across the Wabash River to that house… What’s your name? If you’ve seen the Tik Tok you know what I’m talking about.
The ISP found that knife. I don’t know that as fact, I know it as in I have faith they didn’t stop until they did find it. A literal needle hidden on that muddy River bottom. They found the knife and it allowed them to move to the next location. I suspect ISP investigators stealthily drove past grandma’s house that day with the big guy in the orange suit slouched down in his seat. I don’t doubt they have him on video pointing out exactly where his daddy burned his signature black ski mask, black jeans, black hoodie, and black boots. I have no doubts he threw in the purple PT Crusier floor mat(s), the cheap aftermarket car seat covers and the fuzzy purple steering wheel cover grandma so much cherished.
The very fact that ISP investigators were sifting through years of ashes in grandmas backyard burn pit makes me confident somebody snitched. You know the old saying Snitches get Stitches. Not this time, because there’s no way in hell they are going to let the daddy man anywhere near his only son. It was no easy task to get a search warrant to search a little old ladies backyard burn pit— trust me. This lady had nothing to do with what happened that day. Her only misfortune is the fact she gave birth to a monster.
The Indiana State Police had to have found that killers knife. I say that because I think it took them finding it where, and the way, it was described by Junior. I doubt it has any fingerprints on it, or traceable DNA. If it had the owner would be in the same predicament as his little buddy from Mexico right now. It was enough to allow the ISP investigators to go to the judge with Junior’s taped statement and the photos of that knife risen from that dirty water. It was enough evidence and just enough credibility to juniors statement to get the search warrant probable cause affidavit to search a little old ladies trash/ burn pit filled with ….
With bacon rinds and chicken bones
drippy ins of ice cream cones Prune pits, peach pits, orange peels Gluppy glumps of cold oat meal, pizza crust and withered greens And soggy beans and tangerines and crust of black burned buttered toast And gristly bits of beefy roast
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout-
I grew up listening to this guys poetry… my grandmother gave me his published poems when I was that age 13-14.
The three of them stole those two young girls lives. I know the men and women in law enforcement, that have worked on solving these horrific murders. They will not stop until all three are safely in a cold concrete and steel 6x9 cell, with a thin pad on a concrete bed
F___ You T___!
I had to quit Tik Tok btw. Too time consuming. I don’t miss it..
submitted by Old_Heart_7780
to Delphitrial [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:08 FaAlt Still dealing with golf course that decided it's a concert venue. Looking for advice.
I made a lengthy post here: https://www.reddit.com/homeowners/comments/13hjxvw/golf_course_near_me_decided_its_an_outdoo
Every single Friday and Saturday night the golf course near me has outdoor concerts blasting loud music that you can hear over the TV with all doors and windows shut. I work during the week and Friday and Saturday nights are pretty much the only time I have to relax and have some peace and quiet. I feel like I can't even enjoy my own home now.
Since the last post I made several noise complaints with the city police. They showed up and an officer called me back telling me that the golf course showed them a noise permit and there was nothing he could do about it. After that I called the department of health for the city and talked with the person that is in charge of granting noise permits and he told me that the golf course did not have one, and noise permits are generally granted for recurring events. He said that he would look into it, but it gets complicated since I am in the county and the golf course is in the city. There are houses that are on the city side of the golf course, but they are further away from the concert venue. Basically the golf course has the stage and loud speakers pointed towards all the houses that are considered county property.
He said if I knew anyone in city limits it would be helpful if they submit complaints. I don't know anybody on that side of the golf course though.
I'm not sure where to go from here. They have another concert planned for tonight that they are selling tickets to. Last week when they had one I drove by the parking lot and there were about 200 cars in the parking lot, so it's not exactly a small event just for members. They are probably making a lot of money from these concerts, but they aren't zoned to be an outdoor concert venue.
What else can I do?
submitted by FaAlt
to homeowners [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 21:08 TheManIsNonStop [EVENT] Risorti Dalle Rovine
The Italian War of 1515
and its consequences have been disastrous for the county of Cremona and its people. Much like in several of the previous conflicts in Lombardy, Cremona was bitterly contested by the French and Imperial armies, having been the victim of a lengthy Imperial siege in 1515 and a much shorter French siege in 1516. The results were devastating, and the scars of the sieges were still readily apparent when Francesco Maria arrived in the city in late 1517
Though he meant to spend the beginning of 1518 helping to heal these scars, God had other plans. The treason of the Gonzaga of Mantua revealed at the Trial of Cesena
, and the following declaration of war by Pope Leo X
turned Francesco Maria’s attentions from peace
By March, he was already in the field.
Before long, the campaign year settled into a siege. Sieges are long, plodding affairs, leaving Francesco Maria with an abundance of downtime between directing engineers and commenting on maps of proposed trenches. Throughout the year, a flurry of letters flew between his camp and Cremona, managing and directing the repair of his new city from afar. In time, he hopes that these repairs and reforms will build Cremona into the wealthiest of his many possessions.
Prevosto dei Mercanti di Cremona
Among the first reforms introduced by the new Count of Cremona is the creation of a new bureaucratic position, the Provost of the Merchants. Largely copied from the institution introduced in the city of Milan in 1509
, the Provost is an official appointed by the Count of Cremona, bearing responsibility for overseeing public works, provisioning the city, collecting taxes, and managing Cremona’s canal network. He is assisted in this task by four assessors, who are nominated by the Count, but approved by a majority vote in Cremona’s city council (of which the Count is the leading member, but by no means the only powerbroker).
With the creation of this new position, Francesco Maria has appointed a loyal administrator from La Marche as Provost, while filling the assessor positions with local notables (a mix of local nobles and upwardly-mobile merchants). To ensure that they have the proper facilities available to them to complete their tasks, he has designated Palazzo Cittanova
as their permanent headquarters. Fixing the Navigli
Like much of Lombardy, Cremona is host to a series of complex, interconnected canals they criss-cross both the city and the province
. These canals (the navili
in the local dialect) are used for both navigation--allowing Padane trade direct access to workshops and warehouses throughout the city--and agriculture--the various canals bring irrigation water from the Adda and Oglio throughout the county, making it some of the most productive farmland in Italy.
The successive sieges of Cremona caused extensive damage to the navili. The besiegers--first Austrians, then French--regularly diverted the navili to supply fresh water to their siege camps and deny it to the city. Within the city proper, collapsed buildings and sunken ships had clogged narrower portions of the navili, while other sections had been intentionally dammed off to build reservoirs for firefighting or drinking. While the worst of the damage had been repaired since the war ended, the navili were still operating well below their full capacity, causing serious economic damage to the city and its inhabitants.
Addressing this persisting damage is the first task facing the new Prevost--one that is likely to earn near-universal support in Cremona. Repairing the Walls
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the walls of Cremona were devastated
by the successive sieges of the last war. The brutal eleven week Austrian siege of 1515 in particular destroyed large sections of the walls--part of why the French siege in 1516 was so much quicker. While the walls are more-or-less functional at the moment, with earthen palisades protecting those portions that were breached in the two sieges, they still leave much to be desired. As the southeasternmost city of French Milan, it is more likely than not that Cremona will see yet more sieges in the future. Thus, it is critically important that the city’s defenses be brought back into working order, and that they be upgraded to ensure the success of future defenses of the city.
Recognizing the strategic importance of Cremona to maintaining France’s presence in Milan, the Duke Philippe’s regency council has authorized the Count of Cremona to renovate the walls of his city. To this end, France has transferred its best and brightest military engineers (many of whom have already had experience upgrading the walls of other Lombard cities, such as Novara, Asti, Milan, Pavia, Lodi, Bergamo, and Crema
), and agreed to fund the upgrades (M: we’re waiting to see what the cost is to work this out). The planned upgrades will introduce modern defensive innovations to the walls, such as reinforcing bastions to allow for enfilade fire and earthen ditches and glacis to protect the base of the walls from cannon fire. Furthermore, the Castello di Santa Croce
, the castle and ducal residence on the western edge of Cremona, will be upgraded to bring it in line with modern defensive works (M: I’m not sure how much of the historic upgrades occurred--I’m mostly just looking to make it so that the OTL 1503 fortifications and 1520 fortifications are built with these upgrades). Upgrades and renovations will be managed by the Provost of the Merchants. Now Entering/Exiting Milan
Cremona’s position is not just strategically important, but economically
important. Built just a few miles east of the confluence of the Po and the Adda, Cremona is the first major Milanese city along the Po (Casalmaggiore notwithstanding), making it the first port-of-call for Padane shipping moving into French Milan (or even Savoy--the Po flows all the way to Turin), or the last port-of-call for shipping moving towards the Adriatic. Put simply: just about every vessel moving into or out of Milan will pass by Cremona at some
point. This makes Cremona ideally situated for two things, which are mutually beneficial and, in the right circumstances, very
The first is taxation. By decree of the Duke of Milan, Cremona will henceforth be a mandatory port-of-call for merchants wishing to enter French Milan via the Po. In order to continue along the Po, merchant vessels will first have to stop at Cremona, where they will have to pay customs duties on the goods they are importing into French territory, as well as a per capita toll on their crew. Once the duties have been paid, the ship’s captain will then be provided proper documentation for his goods and sent on his merry way. Further tolls may be collected along the river--particularly if the ship means to make use of the navigli--but the customs documents will be valid from Cremona to Milan to Turin.
The second is trade. As the first major French port on the Po, Cremona is well-suited to operate as an entrepôt for imports to and exports from Milan. Merchants, looking to save themselves time by avoiding a full trip along the Po, might instead look to offload their goods at Cremona (and pick up goods for their return trip). Others might be looking to transfer their goods to different sized vessels (smaller if they are continuing onto the Po tributaries or the navigli, larger if they are heading towards the Adriatic), or onto numerous different
vessels (say, if a spice merchant from Venice wants to send his product to Crema, Pavia, Milan, and Turin). More entrepreneurially-minded local merchants might even try to profit from the arbitrage opportunity introduced by the new customs rates, which are lower for French and Milanese merchants than their foreign counterparts, by buying up foreign (usually Venetian) goods and selling them in French Milan at a profit.
In any case, for Cremona to fulfill this purpose, there is a need for new infrastructure within the city--something that the Count is all too eager to provide. With funds from his own treasury, Francesco Maria will be building a series of warehouses, guest houses and trading posts both near Cremona’s waterfront and further into the city, dotted along its canal network. The largest of these warehouses, dubbed the Fondaco dei Veneto
(literally, the warehouse of the Venetians) will be conveniently situated close to the Po. Built in the style of a Venetian fondaco
, with high arches, waterfront access, and living quarters above the ground floor, this trading post will specifically cater to Venetian merchants, giving them a safe place to store, buy, and sell their wares while enjoying the comfort of a hot meal and a good night’s rest. All while paying the Count for the services provided, of course!
By mandating that merchant vessels stop at Cremona to pay duties on imported goods, ships that would previously pass Cremona without stopping will have to spend some amount of time in the city’s port. With this in mind, traffic is expected to increase considerably.
Thus, it is imperative that ships are moved as quickly and efficiently through Cremona’s port as possible. To this end, Francesco Maria has announced the construction of a new customs house in the port district of Cremona, the Palazzo dei Mercanti,
a two-story building intended to function as the administrative headquarters of the new customs system. In search of a leading Italian architect to design the building, Francesco Maria has invited noted pupil of Raphael (who arrived in Milan in 1517 Lorenzetto
. Should he fail to retain Lorenzetto’s services, invitations will then be sent to local Lombard architect and pupil of Bramante Antonio da Lonate
and, failing that, Girolama Genga
, who Francesco Maria has hired several times in the past.
Collecting customs duties, managing the city’s primary customs house, and operating the Count’s network of warehouses and trade posts will all be under the purview of the Provost of the Merchants. Attracting Investment
Despite its strategic position on the Po and fertile farmland, Cremona is… strangely devoid of economic activity. Francesco Maria is not quite sure why this is (perhaps Venetian merchants and Lombard nobles fled with their wealth when the province was conquered by France?), but the effect is the same: there is an immense opportunity to expand the county’s productivity. Like the rest of Lombardy, Cremona’s farmland is some of the most productive of Europe, and the city’s position on the Po gives it easy access to population centers like Turin, Milan, and Venice.
If the Venetian merchants won’t invest in the province, maybe their Lombard and French counterparts will. The new Provost of the Merchants of Cremona will offer institutional and legal support to subjects of French Milan--that is, French and Lombard merchants, nobles, and clergy--looking to establish new holdings in the city and the county. To help incentivize further investment by Cremona’s nobility and merchant families, Francesco Maria will also consider the willingness of individuals to reinvest in Cremona when making future political appointments in the county--most notably the four assessors of the Provost of the Merchants and the Castellan-Provosts of the Castellany-Provostships of the county.
Castellano-Prevosto di Cremona
Much like the city of Cremona was adversely affected by the sieges of 1515 and 1516, the countryside saw substantial damage. Armies on campaign tend to pick the countryside bare, stealing whatever they can get their hands on (most especially grain and livestock) and killing whoever tries to stop them. As Austrian, French, Venetian, and Bourbon armies criss-crossed the Cremonesi countryside, it was treated no differently. Fields were burned, livestock were slaughtered, storehouses were robbed, and families fled. Though peace has returned once again, the damage remains, and Francesco Maria must address it.
With the exception of the navili, which are governed by the Provost of the Merchants, the countryside of Cremona falls under the direct jurisdiction of the Count and is administered through a series of appointed administrators called Castellan-Provosts. It falls to those Castellans to mete out the Count’s aid and repair the land. Food for All
The nice thing about farms is that they are largely self-sustaining. With proper stewardship, one harvest yields enough seed for the next, livestock beget livestock, and the farm continues as it always has. The bad thing about farms is that the bulk of farmers do not generate much in the way of surplus value. This means that when looting armies come through, burn fields, slaughter livestock, steal all of your valuables, and otherwise ruin (or end) farmers’ lives, the farmers can struggle to garner the capital necessary to start their lives anew. Such is the case in the countryside of Cremona.
In order to help restore the agricultural wealth of Cremona--the lifeblood of the province--Francesco Maria has authorized the disbursal of additional funds to the Castellan-Provosts, who will distribute these funds to replenish livestock herds and seed stores throughout the County. Settling Property Disputes
While many farmers return to their fields after a war, some do not--some because they found a new life elsewhere, and others because they died. Ownership disputes over the lands they leave behind are common. Neighbors expand their farms into the abandoned lands while sons, cousins, uncles, brothers-in-law, and people pretending to be those things lay claim to the land of families who died. Sometimes, these competing claims turn violent.
Sifting through these claims and keeping the peace is the duty of the Castellan-Provosts. To help ensure that these legal claims are dealt with quickly and efficiently, Francesco Maria has transferred funds to the Castellan-Provosts to hire additional administrative and legal personnel. Summary: Francesco Maria is spending money to reduce devastation throughout Cremona. A new administrative position, the Provost of the Merchants of Cremona (mirroring the Provost of the Merchants implemented in Milan in 1509) is tasked with repairing the canal system of the province, while the Castellan-Provosts who administer the countryside will be given additional financial support to repair the county’s agricultural production. Furthermore, with support from the Duke of Milan, Cremona’s walls will be repaired and upgraded.
The Duke of Milan has also designated the city of Cremona as the official customs hub for imports entering the Duchy of Milan. While the rates will be set by the Duke, the Count of Cremona (through the Provost of the Merchants of Cremona) is responsible for collecting those customs, which are intended to protect French and Lombard merchants in Milan from foreign (mostly Venetian) competition. Hoping to profit off of this new importance of Cremona for trade along the Po, Francesco Maria has also authorized the construction of a new customs house and trade hub within the city.
- Price for reducing devastation in Cremona (4A1) and the unnamed neighboring province (4A2) through repairing the canal system and rebuilding the rural farm economy
- Price for rebuilding and upgrading Cremona’s (4A1) defenses (which will be shared with France--let me know what the cost ends up being, and I’ll let you know what the payment split will be)
- Price for building a trade hub (or fondachi?) holding in Cremona (4A1)
- Resolution for building customs house in Cremona (need to know which of Lorenzetto, Antonio da Lonate, and Girolama Genga accepts the Duke’s offer to design the building; cost for the construction; and also what mechanical effects it will have both in Cremona and on holding ownership throughout the Duchy of Milan. Not sure if this should be a holding like the sound dues, a staple port holding, a tax efficiency increase for Cremona, or what--open to discussion)
- How successful is Francesco Maria’s call for investment in Cremona (4A1) and the unnamed neighboring province (4A2)? These provinces currently have almost no holdings in them (not counting the city, there are only three holdings between them), so I’m hoping to attract estates to build them out a bit. Not sure what estates are around these parts, but I imagine it’d be stuff like Lombard/Milanese/French merchants/clergy/nobility. Merchant/noble families in the county who make considerable investments will be favored when it comes time for the count to make political appointments in the future (most notably, the assessors of the Provost of the Merchants of Cremona and the Castellan-Provosts of the Castellan-Provostships of the county’s Castellany-Provostships).
submitted by TheManIsNonStop
to empirepowers [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 20:46 SamuraiAinu Asap help
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I have a few places I need to find unfortunately I do not have all of the images I need to find. This first and most difficult because I forgot to screenshot on another phone and text the image to this one is a sky blue house numbered 12752 with a large paned window and a brick leading path with brick work near the entrance. The second is a parking lot near solar canopy's and ticky tacky houses. Key not the light fixtures are square not circular and there are notable eucalyptus. I suspect that the residence is near the house but here are images of the parking lot. If you can help me find these today you are god. They are definitively somewhere between north orange county and San Gabriel valley, most likely closer to the middle of them, La Habra area. submitted by SamuraiAinu to geoguessr [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 20:26 toddles84 Brain Cancer and The Alcoholic Caretaker
It started during Covid like I’m sure it has for many others, but I think the seeds of my alcoholism and depression were planted well before then. Covid just gave me the opportunity to realize and reflect that my life is headed nowhere except, perhaps, to an early grave.
The story starts about a year into what has been the longest relationship of my life. We met in April 2018 and I fell in her love with her, and I still feel the same, but something’s changed within me that’s not allowing me to find happiness anymore in my life. I could probably write a novel about my experience of being a caretaker to someone with brain cancer, but I’ll try to spare you of all the details as this will already be lengthy.
When we met, we were in our early thirties. Well, she was in her early thirties. I was in my mid-thirties. We were young, at least younger than we are now. We were vibrant and full of energy. She told me early in the relationship that she had what’s called an anaplastic ependymoma, a rare type a brain cancer. It was obviously important to her to let me know that she had this medical condition, as I’m sure it would scare off some romantic partners. Now at the time and on the surface, you wouldn’t have been able to tell she had cancer. But it didn’t scare me away as I simply asked, “Well, you’re not going anywhere, are you?” She said no and that was enough for me to continue with the relationship.
She moved into my house about 5 months into the relationship and about a month later I got a phone call while I was on a business trip telling me that the tumour had grown and that she was going to receive a procedure called a laser ablation. Up until that point in my life when she first told me, cancer was very foreign to me in the sense that I hadn’t experienced living with a loved one that had any form of cancer.
Over the years, we’ve endured so many surgeries. I couldn’t even count the amount she’s had anymore. We went through laser ablations, craniotomies, stereotactic radiosurgeries, compounded with treatment after treatment, chemotherapies, and immunization therapies.
In December 2019, she again had a reoccurrence. The Oncology and Neurosurgeon teams advised that another craniotomy was the best route to go. Unfortunately, after this one, she lost mobility on the left side of her body rendering her hemiplegic because of where the little fucking bastard grows. She spent about a little over a month recovering in an inpatient rehab facility. I would often stay the night to keep her company and sleep on what I would describe as the stiffest and starchiest couch I have ever sat on in my life. When she was released, we returned home and she began outpatient rehab therapy and, we as the supportive couple that we are, really focused in on getting her able to walk again and eating healthy. Of course, by this time Covid brought the whole fucking world to a screaming halt and I had ample time to assist in her recovery.
And wouldn’t you know it! We accomplished our goal. She never has, nor will she ever again have full mobility, but with the assistance of an AFO (Ankle/Foot Orthotic) she was able to walk well enough, but not very fast or very long distances. So we planned a trip to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula and it was spectacular! Even though it wasn’t always easy getting around, we managed and created some of the happiest moments of my life together. I think my favourite was pulling her around Mackinaw Island using a rickshaw. However, right before our trip, she went in for an MRI. Once again, the fucking asshole had to rear its ugly little head back into our lives, not that it ever left, but it would have been nice to have kept it from growing again so fast. So we set an appointment for yet another craniotomy to be performed in June 2020.
And I think that this was the time when things started to get really, really bad for me. I just remember coming home after the surgery while she recovered in the ICU with a 12 pack of Two Hearted Ale and just started crying and I couldn’t stop. For hours and hours on end, I just cried. Anyway, there were setbacks, but not quite on the same level as the December 2019 surgery. She returned home and continued with outpatient rehab and, some short time after, we learned about a clinical trial being performed at the NIH in Bethesda, MD.
Here we go! Hopefully, this is our golden ticket, and we can be rid of this thing once and for all. Due to Covid, I had the time on my hands to accompany her back and forth to the NIH, however, for her to receive the treatment, we would have to travel 3 weeks a month, every month until the completion of the trial.
I remember my eyes welling up from the commitment we had to make and thinking, ‘this is my life now.’ And that may sound selfish to you. And you might be right, but I knew in that moment, I had lost control of my own life knowing that I would have to sacrifice my wants, needs, and desires for someone else who just simply wants to live. The experience was mentally, emotionally, and financially draining, but it was worth it in the end to keep that hope alive. My girlfriend became friends with another girl there. She really makes friends everywhere she goes. Her new friend had Acute Myeloid Leukemia and, unfortunately, she passed away and I know that was especially hard. So from July 2020 to December 2020, we travelled back and forth to Maryland until the clinical trial was deemed a failure. All the while, I’m drinking more and more, and my mood and behaviour is becoming increasingly more erratic.
From 2021 through 2022, not much had changed. That is to say - it was more of the same. Doctors; surgeons; beer cans are piling up. She did get three elective surgeries. Two for a club foot release and a tendon release on her wrist, which are residual side effects from the number of surgeries she has had on her brain. In October 2022, another laser ablation.
Now we’re in January 2023. The surgical scar from the ablation did not heal properly. The skin on the top of her scalp had been stretched so thin that you could see the titanium screws implanted in her head. The Neurosurgeon team told us that when hardware is visibly exposed as in this case, they must treat it as if there were an infection. The plan of action is to, once again, perform surgery in the form of a skin graft removing all the hardware, cleaning up the infection, and replacing it with unaffected hardware. It was close to a 12 hour surgery and all I could think about was escaping to get a beer.
We currently learned that there’s been regrowth once again. Due to the elective surgeries and the skin graft procedure, she’s been off any form of treatment for some time now, so it really didn’t come as a surprise to us. However, instead of surgery, the Oncologist recommends she returns to treatment by means of chemotherapy and a drug called Avastin, which is an anti-angiogenic that targets the source of tumour and in theory cuts off the blood supply feeding the little fucker. However, my girlfriend feels she wants to continue with another surgery on her foot because of the discomfort, which would prevent her from going on treatment and would result in another craniotomy. And over the past week, this sent me over the edge.
I understand that this is her choice. However, the route she’s decided to take has caused me so much stress and anxiety. I mean just scheduling an MRI causes me to have PTSD. I told her that I cannot handle another surgery. We went through 5 surgeries in 8 months including the skin graft operation.
And this is the part that sucks. I think we’re finished. There’s too many stressors in my life that’s causing me to repeat a vicious cycle. I’m tired of pretending to be strong while crying in shadows. Do I get help from anyone? Not as much as her immediate family should. The father lives out of state and the mother thinks she’s a martyr for buying her a $7 gyro. As much as I love her and will always love her, I can’t do it anymore. I’ve sacrificed my happiness for her health and it’s honestly going to kill me. She told me I should go to therapy. I didn’t listen. I should have gone to therapy because now all I feel is regret, disgust, and resentment.
submitted by toddles84
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