1. If you have me, you want me, and you won't let me go. And, I don't understand that because I'm really bad. But if you don't have me, many a man fears me badly. And to drive me away again, you have to look into my eye. 'Cause I'm a shy man, and I need to go away.
   
2. There is little more beautiful in life than me, say those who know me. I am a man that many want and many have. I'm a man that people just can't get enough of My clothes are brown and my hair, if it's there, is white and flies wildly.
   
3. A hole, but not in the ground, on which the sun does not cast light.
   
4. From seeds grow things that bear my seeds. But my seeds are not seeds, and they will not thrive without you. But when I do, you enjoy me.
   
5. You won't get my answer because I'm not. And that, although it always exists elsewhere.
   
6. a surface out of silver smoke, surrounded by some solid gold. It casts my servant, who does what, I do just like I do that. And I am like the brown of trees. I am like the wind that's in the leaves. I am like fire. I am desire. I am anything at all.
   
7. with time I come, and make things do irregular things. I go into your room. I take your clock and toss it down, ii take your books, and make them fall. In time my friend, even you, will not recognize your room again. I unite the fighting men, who study the world.
   
8. I have four brothers. One of which is happier than me. One of which is angrier than me. And one of which, is sad, like me. One is the forgotten child-
   
9. You cannot define me. If you did, you would be unjust to judge.
   
10. A spider web without a spider, that never catches anything.
    
11. The one of me, is often too high
    
12. You cannot give it to someone, without having it for yourself
    
13. I hold tiny little trees, pressed together in one place. And if I want, I make them die
    
14. I lie. I make people die. I make them love. I make them do my every will. They kill each other if I like. And yet, I have never committed a crime
    
15. They lie. I lie. I make people die. I make them love. I make them do my every will. They kill each other if I like. And yet, I have never committed a crime.
    

So, here is my story, it will be really long. Sorry about grammatic mistakes, im not native speaker. If you want to skip to drdp related text, it will be marked below.
From childhood I was really, really anxious about everything. My peak was, when I went to Sunday School, and fixed on a thought, that my parents will go to heaven, and I will go to hell, because of my sins. And i really loved (and still) my parents, so every night was a horror. Funny enough, after around two years of this torture (i really mean it, it was so bad, especially for young mind), i completly lost ability to have nightmares. I had like 2 after 9 years old, and even than, those were nothing in comparison with those, i had before. So, at 18 y.o im getting my diagnose (somewhat of a mix: GAD-based MDD :) )
I having treatment with mirtazapine with pick in 15mg (those who knows, that s not that much)
And I responded really well, my anxiety (the "ill" one) flew away, and depression sinked after lost of anxiety. Parallely, there were a lot of stress in my life. School, uni, than work, personal life, regular stuff. And I occasionally smoked weed. Not much, not often, never two days in a row, and the smallest gap was 3 weeks (it was only once, usually 1.5 months minimally, 6 months casually between smoking). And I am also responded really well. I was happy, no anxiety or panic at all, but i was also really responsible. At 19 years old I stopped vaping (I was vaping 3 years, 2 years on nic, from 17 to 19 on really high dosage, 20 - 50 mg/ml on 100 watt).
Here starts DRDP question
But, in February of this year, my dog died. I was always afraid of it, all my life, I prayed to god for his health all my life. He had heart cancer, really rare case. And on first days of his illness, i was alone with him, i had noone who could help me. So I had a couple of really intense episodes, not sure if those were panic attacks, but i felt really bad, nausea, dizzines, vertigo, heartrate is 120 (my normal is 100). He died after 2 weeks. It was so painfull to see how he is changing, how his behavour is "unnormal". We decided to put him down, until he got pains (he was inoperable). All of this started, after 3 days of me slipped off of mirtazapine (really bad timing). But, it seemed as a surprise to me, I really lacked in emotions in comparison of what i expected from my self. My bet is that, my brain tried to pull me out of situation, because i faced my biggest existential fear, the fear of death. Anytime I think of death (from childhood and now on), I am getting temporary severe anxiety, that I once had. It flews away when I stop thinking of it, but this fear is on a place.
So, after this I developed serious headaches. I tried to go to neurologist, and had all my analysis passed, everything was fine. On march 25, it was a soccer match, so I decided to have a little weed (by little, I really mean it, I was not even high, just slightly apettite boosted). Everything was fine, I ate a lot, and went to sleep. Afterwards, I woke up at 3 a.m, with strange feeling. It was like nausea with mild anxiety (I think, organism wanted me to go to toilet, because, I really had a lot of food), but, I tried to fell asllep once again. And I fell of in some kind of limb, as it was dream in ultrasound, i was not asleep, but I saw how i am slowly flying in dark entity with white artifacts appearing around me. It was like 3 seconds long, but I really freaked out. On a next day I felt still "high", so I thought that it was just me being too tired and not had enough sleep. But as time went, I still got this feeling of "something isnt right". It seemed to me, like my vestibular system was really hecked up, full time vertigo, and like general feeling, like my sensory systems were inadequately perceive the signals (colors were not right, blurry vision, a lot of dark dots and so on). First week, every night I had anxiety attacks. I thought that I am physically damaged, that something is not right. But, I didnt have any feeling of not being me, or not living my life. I was living in constant fear, that I will be forever stuck in this condition (that was along with me had a little break up with my pshychiatrist, because, I asked her about my condition in link with weed, and in our country weed is not yet decriminalised). I was really tired of vertigo and nausea.
And here I am, 2.5 months past, and I came back to mirtazapine (now 7.5 mg, more like a sleep aid). I am feeling really better, but still, I am catching these visual distortions, and overall, I am really afraid of having anything even mildly psychoactive (primarily caffeine and alcohol). So, what is your thoughts, what is wrong with me? Was it DPDR, or just severe anxiety after dogs death? I am really afraid of getting back to that cycle. Thank you for reading all of that, I really appreciate it.
edit 1 - I want to add, after dogs death , developed not exactly headaches, but paresthesias in my head, like something really heavy pushed my forehead (from inside to outside), that sometimes were becoming into headaches. So I was really freaking out, if that was a schizophrenia or something...

So, here is my story, it will be really long. Sorry about grammatic mistakes, im not native speaker. If you want to skip to drdp related text, it will be marked below.
From childhood I was really, really anxious about everything. My peak was, when I went to Sunday School, and fixed on a thought, that my parents will go to heaven, and I will go to hell, because of my sins. And i really loved (and still) my parents, so every night was a horror. Funny enough, after around two years of this torture (i really mean it, it was so bad, especially for young mind), i completly lost ability to have nightmares. I had like 2 after 9 years old, and even than, those were nothing in comparison with those, i had before. So, at 18 y.o im getting my diagnose (somewhat of a mix: GAD-based MDD :) )I having treatment with mirtazapine with pick in 15mg (those who knows, that s not that much)And I responded really well, my anxiety (the "ill" one) flew away, and depression sinked after lost of anxiety. Parallely, there were a lot of stress in my life. School, uni, than work, personal life, regular stuff. And I occasionally smoked weed. Not much, not often, never two days in a row, and the smallest gap was 3 weeks (it was only once, usually 1.5 months minimally, 6 months casually between smoking). And I am also responded really well. I was happy, no anxiety or panic at all, but i was also really responsible. At 19 years old I stopped vaping (I was vaping 3 years, 2 years on nic, from 17 to 19 on really high dosage, 20 - 50 mg/ml on 100 watt).
Here starts DRDP question
But, in February of this year, my dog died. I was always afraid of it, all my life, I prayed to god for his health all my life. He had heart cancer, really rare case. And on first days of his illness, i was alone with him, i had noone who could help me. So I had a couple of really intense episodes, not sure if those were panic attacks, but i felt really bad, nausea, dizzines, vertigo, heartrate is 120 (my normal is 100). He died after 2 weeks. It was so painfull to see how he is changing, how his behavour is "unnormal". We decided to put him down, until he got pains (he was inoperable). All of this started, after 3 days of me slipped off of mirtazapine (really bad timing). But, it seemed as a surprise to me, I really lacked in emotions in comparison of what i expected from my self. My bet is that, my brain tried to pull me out of situation, because i faced my biggest existential fear, the fear of death. Anytime I think of death (from childhood and now on), I am getting temporary severe anxiety, that I once had. It flews away when I stop thinking of it, but this fear is on a place.
So, after this I developed serious headaches. I tried to go to neurologist, and had all my analysis passed, everything was fine. On march 25, it was a soccer match, so I decided to have a little weed (by little, I really mean it, I was not even high, just slightly apettite boosted). Everything was fine, I ate a lot, and went to sleep. Afterwards, I woke up at 3 a.m, with strange feeling. It was like nausea with mild anxiety (I think, organism wanted me to go to toilet, because, I really had a lot of food), but, I tried to fell asllep once again. And I fell of in some kind of limb, as it was dream in ultrasound, i was not asleep, but I saw how i am slowly flying in dark entity with white artifacts appearing around me. It was like 3 seconds long, but I really freaked out. On a next day I felt still "high", so I thought that it was just me being too tired and not had enough sleep. But as time went, I still got this feeling of "something isnt right". It seemed to me, like my vestibular system was really hecked up, full time vertigo, and like general feeling, like my sensory systems were inadequately perceive the signals (colors were not right, blurry vision, a lot of dark dots and so on). First week, every night I had anxiety attacks. I thought that I am physically damaged, that something is not right. But, I didnt have any feeling of not being me, or not living my life. I was living in constant fear, that I will be forever stuck in this condition (that was along with me had a little break up with my pshychiatrist, because, I asked her about my condition in link with weed, and in our country weed is not yet decriminalised). I was really tired of vertigo and nausea.
And here I am, 2.5 months past, and I came back to mirtazapine (now 7.5 mg, more like a sleep aid). I am feeling really better, but still, I am catching these visual distortions, and overall, I am really afraid of having anything even mildly psychoactive (primarily caffeine and alcohol). So, what is your thoughts, what is wrong with me? Was it DPDR, or just severe anxiety after dogs death? I am really afraid of getting back to that cycle. Thank you for reading all of that, I really appreciate it.
edit 1 - I want to add, after dogs death , developed not exactly headaches, but paresthesias in my head, like something really heavy pushed my forehead (from inside to outside), that sometimes were becoming into headaches. So I was really freaking out, if that was a schizophrenia or something...

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The reason people keep going on about this, is because it appeals so heavily to the fear based human body, the soul is hosting. People will give you many arguments for it, and this and that and blah blah. Mainly because their lives right now is boring and or unpleasant, and so believe being a free soul separate from a physical body means they are free. When in reality, the soul is not worried one bit, you chose to be here and stay recycling through life sims. Each reincarnation isn’t how you think, when you die, your soul is simply a free moving flying invisible object with its own personality. It can travel the world, not teleport but at high speeds.
This is not your home planet, instead, it’s the only way an immortal soul can be “tricked” into believing it’s mortal and therefore can express fear, all for the motive of experience and growth of an immortal personality. It’s the only thing which I can AFFIRMLY ATTEST.
Just listen.
Humans don’t need these souls. But some (maybe many) humans will have a soul hosting it. Think of it as a booster personality, with thousands of years of wisdom, intuition and empathy. The soul beings and humans are compatible.
The earth is a construct, not a trap. The being running earth, is also in soul form but way more powerful with its own personality. I’m serious, the only way a soul can speak to this “over soul” or whatever you want to call it, is if you are not allowed to stay with a human body for whatever reason and it has a chat with your soul self, pretty similar to how humans communicate.
The easiest way to know if you have a soul which btw, a soul can leave and the human wouldn’t know, is through extreme trauma. End of. Trauma is the easiest way, especially as a child, the soul will in / move out the body way more frequently. Being drowned unconscious a few times will do the trick.
Why?
The human body and brain will give up on itself way before the soul hosting it would even consider, so a split is created between the two. A rift, a breaking point between soul and body. The soul can choose to fight or just leave.
Your soul can have soul siblings it came to earth with (if you have human siblings, most likely they’re your immortal soul siblings). You guys before each incarnation will spend time travelling earth, studying humans, finding a nice location to incarnate in and finding a lovely couple you want to be your human parents. You can even ask other immortal souls for help or advice whilst on earth. Just look around will find some. Souls do communicate with language.
This is first hand experience.
OBE is very real. Just that’s the bigger picture ^. However, it’s not a trap, I do believe this earth construct is a closed off system. Souls have to stay until the end date/collapse : 2138 AD - Archaix YT.

1. Blake (Black Knight) Blake is either YC1 or YC2 by rank, and in terms if power he deserves the title. After losing Cleo he hit the Sea Gym, took some Blue Blood, and ate the Mera Mera no mi (Flame Flame fruit). He was noted by Kasparov to be the strongest of Blue Bloods commanders.
2. V (Former Leader) V is bound to his chair that keeps him alive but due to the fact that he resides in a ship, he is still somewhat mobile. He uses his creations to attack so him sending them to attack is just as strong as him hiding in his base. And he did the most damage to the DLP out of anyone until Blake.
3. Hemlock (Current Leader) She stated that she surpassed Valentine and she had shown during the final battle that her blades and assassination skills had made up for a lack of Noodle and Monty.
4. Valentine (Former 7th Flame) Hemlock stated that she had passed him in strength, however she also lost the ability to enlarge her snakes. His animal was one of the most powerful as the bat was invisible, and he had an overpowered devil fruit that he heavily staggered the DLP with.
5. Olaf (Current 5th Flame) Him and Ragnar were absolutely demolishing the Clockwork Dragon while trying to find the Forth Brother. He was also stated to be the second strongest current flame.
6. Tempest (Current 7th Flame) She was the main contributor to the fight with Void Agent Aria, but she also had to hold back in every fight do to the danger of harming her allies.
7. Scourge (Current 6th Flame) He has shown shown some of the least amount of feats from the flames, but he was still able to help out greatly with the final battle and the webslinging greatly helps as support.
8. Blake (Former 5th Flame) He was a major contributor in the fight with V and while he had his Hell Hound Blaze he was able to breathe fire. He also joined in partway during the fight with Emperor Dominius but couldn't do much.
9. Gravy (Former 4th Flame) He was able to take out multiple of the robots that V sent at he DLP but he hasn't fought any humans. While he still had Boris and was an assasin he was still known as one of their stronger members and Hemlock thinks it is a shame he is wasting his talent.
10. Bullet (Most recent 4th Flame) She was the person that finally killed Cleo and showed some progression in power after the last time the DLP saw her. She was killed by a divine departure from Void Roger
11. Cleo (Former 3rd Flame) She was quite a nuisance for the DLP both while fighting them and just being flat out annoying. Her pet Patty was quite strong while fighting and she herself still showed very much skill due to her assassination training
12. Tako (Former 2nd Flame) Not Steve was able to scare away both Ragnar and Duros, he knocked William unconscious and also almost did so to Verona. Rustage noted how much harder that battle was supposed to be so he is likely stronger than we saw.
13. Skendor (Unknown Flame) He was in an epilouge and was the person that killed Captain Hastings, he was a brief appearance but he was killed by an enraged Rain and her Sea Kings.
14. Mortimer (Current 3rd Flame) We haven't seen anything of this combatant but the other below have not shown too much battle prowess.
15. Malaise (Current 2nd Flame) She possesses some sort of an illusion fruit that allowed her to trick the minds of her enemies to give objects fake life, they look similar to Verona's animed objects but don't possess any life.
16. Humphrey (Current 1st Flame) He possesses the Tori Tori no mi: Model Owl, which is an Owl Zoan. He was in a scuffle with William and Pearl during the Davy Back Fights.
17. Little Timmy (Former 1st Flame) He was killed by V's robots but seemed to be more of a support character where he could heal others with shots.
18. Taurus (Non Combatant) He was a member of the Long John Pirates but has not shown any battle prowess.

So I have this thing that went on since I'm 13 years old. I have my mantras which I say literally every second in my mind. The best way to explain it is by saying it's like a refresh rate that, for example a monitor has. I'm saying to myself every second "stop overthinking, don't be shy, be confident" for example, to refresh myself to the person I want to be. And for maybe one week these mantras function well but after that they stop functioning and I need to change them up. Is it because it's too exhausting for the brain to say the same things over and over again because I literally say them every second? Or is it because I try to be a person I'm not for too long? I mean it really sounds absurd when you speak it out. Literally I'm trying to base off my whole personality and life around these 3 sayings: "stop overthinking, stop being shy, be confident" If these mantras wouldn't wear of after like a week, I would still use them in 50 years. What I'm trying to achieve by using these mantras is consistency. For that week, before it wears off, they function really well and I'm really the person who I want to be, at that time. And I'm consistent in that one week. And after that week they start to wear off and I'm getting really sad because my mantras don't have the same effect anymore and I'm staying in my bed browsing for the next new perfect mantras I can use.
I know this sounds really weird and nobody else probably does it like that but can someone relate? Is this a problem with perfectionism? Should I just drop the whole mantra thing and let my thoughts free?

​
https://preview.redd.it/xbbmvwk05y2b1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=116c1a4c80219604524cc4a321c8086cdb93a5a7
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I've run into a problem I can't figure out for the life of me. On my small grid ships (they are all identical) I have 3 gatling turrets. They are in turn connected to a medium storage container which is in turn connected to a connector. For whatever reason, the turrets are not pulling ammo nor uranium ingots from the base. I've gone over the plumbing and everything is fine on both the base and ship. Ships have oxygen tanks and those fill no problems. Batteries also charge when connected. There's only one sorter on the base and that's so far away and only for pre-refinery storage so I don't believe that's the issue. I've cleaned out the base connectors as the game likes to push stuff into them but still to no avail will the ship load up with what it needs aside from oxygen. I am using the AWE mod, but I've been having this issue with and without the mod active. I have NOT set base or ship connectors to throw out or collect. Only hesitant to do that because I don't want the small grid containers loading up with stuff they don't need. But even when I did try the collect on the ship, it still didn't load. So at this point I'm seriously considering that this is a case of PEBCAK. If anybody has any suggestions I'd be very happy to listen and try. Thanks!

Hello friends,
I would like to touch base with everyone in this subreddit who might have gotten a remote working job with their chemistry degrees. I have been moving around a little in my life working in Europe and Australia and would love to live in South America still. My Spanish is not that great and would like to get a remote job there (for either a US, AUS or EU based country. I would like to know if these jobs are actually available and how one could roll into a position like that.
My background is organic chemistry, mainly polymer synthesis if that matters. But always keen to try something else.

So I have this thing that went on since I'm 13 years old. I have my mantras which I say literally every second in my mind. The best way to explain it is by saying it's like a refresh rate that, for example a monitor has. I'm saying to myself every second "stop overthinking, don't be shy, be confident" for example, to refresh myself to the person I want to be. And for maybe one week these mantras function well but after that they stop functioning and I need to change them up. Is it because it's too exhausting for the brain to say the same things over and over again because I literally say them every second? Or is it because I try to be a person I'm not for too long? I mean it really sounds absurd when you speak it out. Literally I'm trying to base off my whole personality and life around these 3 sayings: "stop overthinking, stop being shy, be confident" If these mantras wouldn't wear of after like a week, I would still use them in 50 years. What I'm trying to achieve by using these mantras is consistency. For that week, before it wears off, they function really well and I'm really the person who I want to be, at that time. And I'm consistent in that one week. And after that week they start to wear off and I'm getting really sad because my mantras don't have the same effect anymore and I'm staying in my bed browsing for the next new perfect mantras I can use.
I know this sounds really weird and nobody else probably does it like that but can someone relate? Is this a problem with perfectionism? Should I just drop the whole mantra thing and let my thoughts free?

Our familiar, warm, yellow sun is a relative rarity in the Milky Way. By far the most common stars are considerably smaller and cooler, sporting just half the mass of our sun at most. Billions of planets orbit these common dwarf stars in our galaxy.
To capture enough warmth to be habitable, these planets would need to huddle very close to their small stars, which leaves them susceptible to extreme tidal forces.
In a new analysis based on the latest telescope data, University of Florida astronomers have discovered that two-thirds of the planets around these ubiquitous small stars could be roasted by these tidal extremes, sterilizing them. But that leaves one-third of the planets -- hundreds of millions across the galaxy -- that could be in a goldilocks orbit close enough, and gentle enough, to hold onto liquid water and possibly harbor life.
UF astronomy professor Sarah Ballard and doctoral student Sheila Sagear published their findings the week of May 29 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Ballard and Sagear have long studied exoplanets, those worlds that orbit stars other than the sun.
"I think this result is really important for the next decade of exoplanet research, because eyes are shifting toward this population of stars," Sagear said. "These stars are excellent targets to look for small planets in an orbit where it's conceivable that water might be liquid and therefore the planet might be habitable."
Sagear and Ballard measured the eccentricity of a sample of more than 150 planets around these M dwarf stars, which are about the size of Jupiter. The more oval shaped an orbit, the more eccentric it is. If a planet orbits close enough to its star, at about the distance that Mercury orbits the sun, an eccentric orbit can subject it to a process known as tidal heating. As the planet is stretched and deformed by changing gravitational forces on its irregular orbit, friction heats it up. At the extreme end, this could bake the planet, removing all chance for liquid water.
"It's only for these small stars that the zone of habitability is close enough for these tidal forces to be relevant," Ballard said.
Data came from NASA's Kepler telescope, which captures information about exoplanets as they move in front of their host stars. To measure the planets' orbits, Ballard and Sagear focused especially on how long the planets took to move across the face of the stars. Their study also relied on new data from the Gaia telescope, which measured the distance to billions of stars in the galaxy.
"The distance is really the key piece of information we were missing before that allows us to do this analysis now," Sagear said.
Sagear and Ballard found that stars with multiple planets were the most likely to have the kind of circular orbits that allow them to retain liquid water. Stars with only one planet were the most likely to see tidal extremes that would sterilize the surface.
Since one-third of the planets in this small sample had gentle enough orbits to potentially host liquid water, that likely means that the Milky Way has hundreds of millions of promising targets to probe for signs of life outside our solar system.
​
for reference:https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2023/05/230529171755.htm

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So I have this thing that went on since I'm 13 years old. I have my mantras which I say literally every second in my mind. The best way to explain it is by saying it's like a refresh rate that, for example a monitor has. I'm saying to myself every second "stop overthinking, don't be shy, be confident" for example, to refresh myself to the person I want to be. And for maybe one week these mantras function well but after that they stop functioning and I need to change them up. Is it because it's too exhausting for the brain to say the same things over and over again because I literally say them every second? Or is it because I try to be a person I'm not for too long? I mean it really sounds absurd when you speak it out. Literally I'm trying to base off my whole personality and life around these 3 sayings: "stop overthinking, stop being shy, be confident" If these mantras wouldn't wear of after like a week, I would still use them in 50 years. What I'm trying to achieve by using these mantras is consistency. For that week, before it wears off, they function really well and I'm really the person who I want to be, at that time. And I'm consistent in that one week. And after that week they start to wear off and I'm getting really sad because my mantras don't have the same effect anymore and I'm staying in my bed browsing for the next new perfect mantras I can use.
I know this sounds really weird and nobody else probably does it like that but can someone relate? Is this a problem with perfectionism? Should I just drop the whole mantra thing and let my thoughts free?

Trying to add some more abstract mechanics for wealth and currency to my game, I stumbled upon an idea when looking around for magic systems: currency as a d6 pool that you can roll and add to the roll where money might help, like a bribe or an acquisition.
Basic resolution-mechanic The basis of my resolution is that you have Approaches (Careful, Clever,Flashy, Forceful, Quick, Sneaky) and Competences (Athletics, Combative, Mindful, Skilled, Social) where most start at 0, some at 1, and the combination of what makes most sense in the situation and describe action is the number of dice you roll. In addition you can add an extra dice by taking stress or by teamwork by the supporter taking less stress (Blades in the Dark). Giving a range of 0-3 dice to roll.
Next the players have Tags (descriptive words, aka City of Mist / Fate aspects) divided into multiple categories: Traits, Tallents, Tools, Transport, Turfs, etc; that says something about what it is, how to acquire and how and how often they might be changed or removed.
Tags can be used when performing an action to either:

• Give permission for doing the actions and/or setting the position/effect.
• Increase the value of a dice by one. Can be used max three times* per action.

GM sets position and effect as in Blades in the Dark, but the position determines a number of Dangers (consequences) that are presented to the player. The GM might also add Opportunities (bonuses). Both are represented by cards.
The player then rolls their dice pool. Any value of 5+ can be put on a card to either not suffer the consequence or to gain the bonuses. So most time a player always succeed**, but it is a matter of how much it costs in harm, expense, game time and narrative impact.
\To stop a player to look through every tag at their disposition, and any roll of 1 cannot become a success.*
\* Sometimes the danger(s) might be “Failure”, that must be ‘blocked’/’overcomed’ else the action fails If rolling poorly you might need to choose between succeeding and taking the damage.*
Currency as a d6-pool Back to the “currency as a d6-pool”, I am thinking that the characters start the game with some currency dice, and gain more when doing jobs/missions/quests as payment.
Each time you roll and money might help like making a bribe or an acquisition, you also roll all your currency dices. You need a 5+ for a success as normal, but here are the difference from the resolution from before:

• You may combine/sum currency dice to create 5+ values.
• Currency dice cannot be modified by tags (maybe some can, but must be more specific than normal?).
• Any dice spent is removed from your pool, you do not need to spend dice if you do not want to.

And that's the basics of the rule. The roll represents the valuables and cash at hand that might be traded for other things, without going into details.
Currency tiers/scale To add some more to it I am thinking of adding tiers of Currency dice using the tried and trough division of CoppeBronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum. I think this also works okay as tiers in a more sci-fi setting I am planning. “Welcome to Athena Premium. Please have your Silver-membership card ready for your purchases”.
This can help me keep the numbers low and give some teeth to some payments of a request/job.
Can also be used to set “difficulty” (not the word I am looking for… but the one I am coming up with right now). A hobo might be swayed by a little coppebronze, but a rich salesman needs some gold.
Buying stuff Buying stuff is a resource to use to acquire tools/transports/turfs-tags or to improve/upgrade them.
When buying stuff it is a matter of determining the tier it belongs to and the number of successes needed to buy it. CoppeBronze is used for tools and daily life stuff. Silver for buying things in scale of a transport, Gold can buy you a building (can use the Area-table form here as a base https://bladesinthedark.com/magnitude), and Platinum is the sums used in regional control (company to nation).
Roll your currency dice and spend enough to buy the thing.
One idea I am starting toying, taking inspiration from the Fate Space Toolkit, is that larger stuff like a space-ship and buildings consist of multiple modules/rooms containing different equipment.So more modules/rooms equal larger ships/buildings, more equal higher cost, and in addition can be used to create a floorplan.
Don't sweat the small stuff All small stuff, clothing, etc. are considered part of your other tags, ex. if you are “Rich” you have fine clothes, and a “Skillful Thief” you might use their tag as a permission to lockpick a door or chest, as you can assume you have some lockpicks in your pocket or uses a hairpin or something.
Small stuff might be “bundled together”, for example, you do not buy a single “bullet”, you buy a “box of ammunition”. You do not buy a “lockpick”, you buy a “lockpick kit”, etc.
Bundles, larger tools / signature geaitems both have a cost and often take up inventory slots (to limit the number of such tags you can carry with you, that is an intensive for a transport or hireling so you can lug around more stuff).
Overspending and exchange currency This is the territory I am unsure of. My initial idea is that each difference in tier between your dice and the expectation adds +-1 to the roll of each dice. So if the tiers are similar, no modifier. If you spend Platinum when expecting Silver you add +2 to the value of the roll (success on 3-6). Or if you spend Silver for Gold you add -1 to the value of the roll (success on 6, or must combine).
To add more to the value of higher tiers, you degrade the dice a tier if spending on a lower tier instead of losing it. I think it seemed a bit sour to use a high-value platinum to pay for lower tier stuff, but did not want you to not spend anything.
Also not entirely happy with the exchange rate or that you could use CoppeBronze for Platinum tier. So I was thinking of setting a limit that you can only spend a currency at one step lower than the expectation, or increasing the +- to 2 per tier (effectively making the lowest tier to auto fail against the highest and the highest an auto success against the lowest, not that I am against that).
Tested around a bit. Concluded that the sliding expectation of tier makes the numbers/table move, and “math is hard”. So the next idea was adding a fixed number, the first being -5 up/+5 down a tier. Quickly realizing that this equals to needing one / gaining one extra success. Making a CoppeBronze needing 1/2/3/4 successes per tier (lowest to highest) for doing one ‘resolution’ and Platinum producing a number of successes of 4/3/2/1 (lowest to highest). Again considering doubling the numbers.
If doubling the numbers the logical exchange rate then is 2:1. Seems still somewhat small. So maybe 4:1 or 5:1…
For exchanging, most of the time it does not matter so much, but exchanging low tier to higher may be interesting as a narrative scene sometimes.
Questions/seeking feedback Is the system sound? Are the currency tires okay? Needed at all? What to call the lowest tier? How to exchange, if at all?
Need to work on the terminology, so any tips/ideas here are also appreciated.

Será que é perigoso ? Ela tem 7 anos

When families go through divorce or separation, the focus often revolves around the parents' rights and the child's best interests. However, grandparents often play a crucial role in the lives of their grandchildren, providing love, support, and stability. In recognition of the importance of these relationships, family law has evolved to include provisions for grandparents' rights, allowing them to advocate for visitation and even custody in certain circumstances. Let's delve into the topic of grandparents' rights and the legal considerations surrounding this complex issue.
Grandparents' rights laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, so it's important to consult the specific laws in your area. In general, grandparents may seek visitation or custody rights if it is in the best interests of the child and if they can demonstrate a substantial preexisting relationship with the grandchild.
Visitation rights for grandparents are typically sought when the child's parents are divorced, separated, or deceased. In such cases, the court will evaluate whether granting visitation rights to the grandparents would benefit the child's emotional well-being and overall development. Factors such as the strength of the grandparent-grandchild relationship, the grandparent's involvement in the child's life, and the potential impact on the child's stability will be considered.
To pursue visitation rights, grandparents may need to demonstrate that they have an existing relationship with the child and that the child would suffer harm if the relationship were severed. This may involve providing evidence of regular contacts, such as frequent visits, phone calls, or participation in significant events in the child's life. Additionally, grandparents may need to prove that their visitation would not interfere with the child's routine or disrupt the parent-child relationship.
In cases where the child's parents are deemed unfit or unable to care for the child, grandparents may even seek custody rights. This typically occurs when the child has been subjected to abuse, neglect or when there are concerns about the parent's ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment. The court will evaluate the grandparents' ability to meet the child's physical, emotional, and educational needs and determine based on the child's best interests.
When advocating for grandparents' rights, it is crucial to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the legal process and help build a strong case. They can provide advice on the specific requirements and procedures in your jurisdiction, ensuring that your rights as a grandparent are protected.
It's important to note that while grandparents' rights have gained recognition in family law, they are not absolute. The courts prioritize the best interests of the child above all else. Therefore, grandparents seeking visitation or custody must demonstrate that their involvement in the child's life is beneficial and serves the child's well-being.
In cases where grandparents' rights are disputed, mediation or alternative dispute resolution methods may be employed to help resolve conflicts and reach an agreement that benefits the child. Mediation provides an opportunity for all parties involved to express their concerns and work towards a mutually acceptable solution. This approach can be less adversarial than litigation and allows grandparents and parents to maintain a more positive and cooperative relationship moving forward.
Not all jurisdictions have comprehensive grandparents' rights laws, and some may have stricter requirements for grandparents to establish visitation or custody. In such cases, grandparents may need to present a compelling case demonstrating significant harm to the child's well-being in the absence of their involvement.
In conclusion, grandparents' rights have become an important aspect of family law, recognizing the value of the grandparent-grandchild relationship. While laws and requirements may vary, grandparents can advocate for visitation or custody when it is in the child's best interests. Demonstrating a preexisting relationship, the potential benefit to the child, and the ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment are key factors in securing grandparents' rights.

Overview

Modpack: FTB Ultimate 1.4.7
Server IP: ftb.bedcraft.uk
Discord Server: https://discord.gg/WxpmPmj
Installation Guide: #getting-started channel on the discord
 

Server Features

Welcome to Bedcraft, the ultimate FTB Ultimate server!
With a history dating back to 2013 and a range of custom modifications and challenges, we offer a truly unique and enjoyable gameplay experience. Our server is centered around the community, striving to create the most enjoyable experience for everyone. Plus, our server runs TickThreading, a mod that multithreads Minecraft and greatly boosts performance. This allows us to achieve a smooth 20 TPS and support ambitious projects like 288 Fusion Reactors.
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Feel free to join our community and experience the ultimate FTB Ultimate experience, join us on ftb.bedcraft.uk. Our Discord server also has a #getting-started channel with an installation guide, as well as a (very recommanded) custom version of the modpack with quality-of-life improvements. We can't wait to see you in-game!

So I have this thing that went on since I'm 13 years old. I have my mantras which I say literally every second in my mind. The best way to explain it is by saying it's like a refresh rate that, for example a monitor has. I'm saying to myself every second "stop overthinking, don't be shy, be confident" for example, to refresh myself to the person I want to be. And for maybe one week these mantras function well but after that they stop functioning and I need to change them up. Is it because it's too exhausting for the brain to say the same things over and over again because I literally say them every second? Or is it because I try to be a person I'm not for too long? I mean it really sounds absurd when you speak it out. Literally I'm trying to base off my whole personality and life around these 3 sayings: "stop overthinking, stop being shy, be confident" If these mantras wouldn't wear of after like a week, I would still use them in 50 years. What I'm trying to achieve by using these mantras is consistency. For that week, before it wears off, they function really well and I'm really the person who I want to be, at that time. And I'm consistent in that one week. And after that week they start to wear off and I'm getting really sad because my mantras don't have the same effect anymore and I'm staying in my bed browsing for the next new perfect mantras I can use.
I know this sounds really weird and nobody else probably does it like that but can someone relate? Is this a problem with perfectionism? Should I just drop the whole mantra thing and let my thoughts free?

Hey guys! Really overwhelmed with your comments of support, really really happy to receive a positive feedback with everyone.
I am the one who made this post:
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/13vc18u/you_guys_did_this_to_me_with_your_advices/
With that, I am happy to share answers to your questions on the comment sections. Please take everything with a grain of salt as all our based on my experience, different advices, and my take on it as I assess it on my knowledge, capability, and situation.
So the question is, how was I able to achieve a bit of financial confidence in me as a young 20 year old guy years ago? (I am 28 right now)
To give more background, I am from a poor family. I paid for my education by working as a BPO employee, I had nothing and I experienced na makitulog sa kaibigan just to have a shelter. But I never gave up
Let's say you are like me, you have a good education but you just graduated and you don't know what to do.
Once you start working, you are going to realize that salaries between 20-40k is pretty low for a COMFORTABLE LIFESTYLE (Sorry I won't sugar coat)
You wanted to have a good lifestyle, a good stable income, a good demand with your expertise, and extra fund monthly to do side business, investments, or simply enjoy life. You can also plan out getting your first car in this.
With that, here are things that you should know or consider to do:

1. Get job experience - This is pretty basic but I believe some people undervalue the importance of this, a lot of people wanted to jump from nothing to a high salary quickly but the question is, what can you offer? Why will a company pay you that much? What can you contribute? You see, it is very important to get actual work experience first and your next decision will be based from what you are feeling and seeing with your current industry. I am not a fan of average work as I like to be someone who is great in what I do. Because remember, Average effort can only produce average results
2. Augment Your Skillset - What exactly do I mean by augmenting your skills? It can be as someone who is good in spreadsheets and data, similar to accounting or statistics. But the question is, how can you get paid good with that type of knowledge? Learn new skills that is complimenting your current skills - Learn coding or programming in which can transition your expertise from just knowing accounting/data skills and become a data scientist, it can also be something like you being a digital marketer but knowing how to use different skills like email marketing, eCommerce Softwares, Copywriting, and many more! You get the idea, how can you make yourself valuable to your clients/company.
3. Decide what kind of lifestyle will you be comfortable sustaining - Decide which lifestyle you are willing to spend on that will give you comfort, security, and focus on what you want to achieve. This is very important as I have experienced it recently, not being in an environment that you want would make you do less. Point is, you can't really spend less with the lifestyle that you want. Its a matter of earning more instead of just focusing on bigger savings. If 50k is your comfort level, then earn more to save more. Wala eh, magastos talaga yung comfort mo. Again, living frugally na di maayos will just make you distracted and uninspired.
4. Focus on increasing your earning power - Its just pretty common na most people starts with "Ano pwede investan? "San pwede mag invest?", while it is a good way to start knowing about investing but a lot did not consider EARNING POWER. Remember, if we just talk about Mutual Funds for example na mag gain ka ng 8-10% yearly, if you only have 10k to invest thats only 800-1000 php gain. Now, you can start investing naman but the most important thing is to increase your earning power. Investing 1000 php monthly can only give you little gain kahit ano pa yan to be quite frank. Kahit maayos na start yan if you want to achieve more you should focus increasing earning power. Ano to? Salary increase, more clients on the side, bigger role na may bigger pay talaga. Connected yung 5 ko dito.
5. You are the asset - Yes, you are the asset. It means invest in yourself. Why will clients and company pay you a high level salary if you are just someone na makikita lang kaagad skillset? is it a matter of exploited agad na mababa pay mo? No, its just reality na you are irreplaceable. You have to be someone na valueable sa company. Make yourself valuable enough na loss ng company pag di ka nila nahire or if you leave them. Build that portfolio, compile your achievements, become outstanding. Pero even with this, don't get exploited parin and take care of yourself. I am not talking about overworking, just invest more in knowledge, experience, and expertise.
6. Budgeting - This goes different for everyone, but for me nilalabas ko agad yung expenses ko before mag start yung month. Example June ngayon, nilabas ko na expense ko nung May last week. I have budgeted my rent, electricity, wifi, food, leisure, gas, car expenses. etc. All of these are cash or nakahilaway na sa main bank ko where I keep my money, EF, investments. I have a specific bank account/digital wallet for spending and a wallet organizer with multiple categories (Food, Gas, Parking, Groceries) meaning, yun lang pwede ko gastusin. Di ko gagalawin yung pera ko sa bank, yung tinabi ko lang for this month. I do the same process every single month
7. Saving and Investing - Pay yourself first, before mag start month ko again nakabudget na, kasama na doon savings and investment ko. If you have good income na, decide mo magkano savings mo and investment and bawas mo na agad sa gastusin mo. Remember, Income - Savings = Expenses. Not the other way around. Make sure to also build an EF (Emergency Fund, for example 20k monthly cost of living mo then you should have at least 120k for emergency at buhay ka for 6 months without income if may emergency.)
8. Insurances - Sorry, but don't get VUL. Do that math and you'll see, compare mo din health/life benefits niya vs traditional insurances. Traditional parin talaga, investment-wise naman mas madali pa mag invest sa ETFs/Mutual Fund. Based on my own exp and research to, shitty VUL. haha, get a 10-20 year payable life insurance to protect your health in case of emergencies.
9. Learn about investing vehicles - Learn about putting your money sa stocks or as simple as putting money sa mp2 pag ibig, mutualfunds and ETFs. Invest at your own risk, make sure to study first. I wont really give an advice here besides LEARN IT!
10. Invest in yourself mentally and physically - So lahat ng ginagawa mo sa buhay worth it ba? You are not an endless self-improvement project. Yes we still do a lot of effort to achieve excellent results pero end of the day you have to enjoy life with your loved ones and kahit ikaw lang din mismo. You are not climbing the mountain to say "I AM HERE AT THE TOP" but for you to see the world. Take care of yourself mentally and physically, enjoy and live a long life.

I hope may napulot kayong aral or something na pwede niyo i-start, will be leaving multiple links sa post na to sa mga threads na pinost at finollow ko before. Best of luck everyone!
Guides:
Spending more for a comfortable lifestyle:
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/13ivddc/spending_more_for_a_comfortable_lifestyle_is_this/
What are rich secrets that middle and lower class doesn't know?
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/13a0kl2/what_are_rich_secrets_that_middle_and_lower_class/
Fellow pinoys earning 100k
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/12aolpa/for_those_fellow_pinoys_earning_close_to_100k_a/
Whats your biggest financial regret
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/125k9e0/advice_what_is_your_biggest_financial_regret_so/
1m is the hardest
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/11w9676/why_do_they_say_the_first_million_is_the_hardest/
People fantasize too much about the one percentile
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/1257t1m/people_fantasize_too_much_about_the_onepercentile/
Guide to corporate work life balance
https://www.reddit.com/phcareers/comments/11dv465/a_career_guide_to_ph_corporate_work_life_balance/
Corporate pay
https://www.reddit.com/phcareers/comments/11c9rt2/a_career_guide_to_ph_corporate_your_pay/
Fire calculator
https://www.reddit.com/phinvest/comments/d1k6zj/fire_calculato

Hey Hey Hey buds. We are back at it again with the Alien ER. how was your week? I hope it was good. This week we have our first glimpses of what Martinez's combat experiences were like, i do mean a literal glimpse. I have a couple of chapters to really drive home the day's events in detail later on. We also have shiksie breaking out of her shell a bit today, and get some more insight into how she treats people.
anyways let's get this bread.
---------
Regrettably for Martinez, walking Lysa back to her home would be the last part of his night he would describe as enjoyable in any way. By the time he made it back home, it was well past two in the morning; the few hours of sleep he did manage to get were restless and filled with memories he would rather forget. The events of the night had whipped him back years in his life.
Usually, Martinez would not get night terrors anymore, but they still on occasion reared their ghoulish head. Thankfully Martinez was not able to vividly recall the nightmares from today, but he knows he had them because he woke up in a cold sweat. Whenever they are vivid he feels like garbage for days afterward; He becomes little more than a writhing mass of anxiety and regret wishing if anything he could go back and change what happened. The faces of his brothers contorting and twisting in agony were seared into his mind and soul, the vivid dreams were him going through those events over and over again, as if the grim reaper was showing him a horror movie of his past.
He had been to therapy for years trying to eventually move past the memories of what happened on Verilon. The therapy did help for a while, but eventually, he stagnated and stopped going; he could not accept that he was the only one left, He could not move forward; so he just did his best to keep going on living with the memories, his brother's deaths held tightly on his soul, like a ball and chain.
He still hated that the lowest moment of his life was what the Navy decided was what he should be rewarded for. That bright gold cross on his dress blues was nothing he was proud of, it was just a bitter reminder of his failures; He thought it might as well be a cruel joke life had for him.
The last time he had thought about Verilon was a few months before he arrived here on Draun; He had heard through the grapevine that his old unit was getting ready to start building up to redeploy there. He was glad he was reassigned so he did not have to return to that hell-blasted desert world. He had his turn in the sandbox, it was someone else's chase to spend a year there.
After having woken up three separate times throughout the night, Martinez had given up on getting any sleep at all. He only had two hours left until he had to go to work anyways, the few hours of sleep would not make a difference to his well-being anyways.
He took to answering some of the questions Shiksie had given him, but focusing on the intricate details of alien anatomy while completely lacking sleep was not easy by any means, the words on the datapad were twisting and blurring into one another. Before he knew where the time went, the shrill beeping of his alarm clock had already started to fill the apartment.
As he idly went and got ready for the day, he was glad he did not try to get Lysa to stay the night. He would have hated her to see him like this, he would rather no one see him like this at all. The fact he felt this made him feel broken, and to him, a woman he had only been on one date with would certainly think the same. Sometimes life has a funny way of working out, he supposed.
Halfway stumbling into work with a yawn Martinez could not wait for the day to be over, he was planning on just going through the motions and doing his best to keep Shiksie off his back. He set himself up in his usual corner and started to read from the datapad; In all of Martinez’s experience if you looked busy, or at least looked like you were doing what those over you wanted, they would likely leave you alone.
Surprisingly the one who threw a wrench into that plan was Therin. The small avian alien had spotted Martinez as soon as he entered and scooted his chair nearby. Therin tapped Martinez on the thigh.
“So how was your night?” Therin chirped. Hoping his little ploy from the previous night worked out well. They were busy at the shop last night and he was about to leave when the police called, but the cop mentioned Martinez and his Aviex girlfriend were on a date; He just could not help himself to mess with the new guy and maybe push him towards spending some more time with someone other than Shiksie, or Ivorn.
You would know how it went you little shit, Marinez thought as he tucked the datapad back into his scrubs pocket and then turned towards his co-worker
Therin looked at Martinez, his feathers slightly puffed up. He stood on the chair and got slightly closer to Martinez Intently looking Martinez over. Therin took particular interest in the small circle of healing puncture wounds on his Human compatriot's shoulder. “What did your lady friend do to you?” He asked jokingly.
“Therin you already know what happened, I got into a fight” Martinez grumbled. Not wanting to have the prodding bird ask further into the rest of the evening. He already knew that Aveix, where hated and did not doubt Therin knowing about him and Lysa’s more intimate time, would be trouble.
“Oh come on new guy, I'm asking about after I was on the phone with the cops” Therin replied, “Did you have a nice evening?”
Martinez stepped slightly away from Therin. “Look man, I had a long night. Nothing happened after the fight” Martinez groaned
Therin shook his head and tapped his wing claw on Martinez’s shoulder. “Those little marks I can see tell me otherwise” he chirped
Dammit, I was hoping those were not visible, Martinez thought. Martinez had always worn slightly larger scrubs than he needed to out of comfort, he did not make much effort to hide the bite mark on his trap, but it's not like it's anyone else's business who he goes on a date with anyways.
“I mean it, nothing else happened,” Martinez growled. Hoping Therin would get the hint and drop the subject.
“Oh yeah, whatever you say new guy” Therin chuckled “So when is the wedding?”
“Fuck off Therin,” Martinez said jokingly, pushing Therins chair away from him with his boot “Don’t you have something better to be doing?”
Therin chuckled a little, before scooting his chair back towards the center desks of the room “Wow you really are Shiksies trainee, you are already acting just like her'' He said before tapping his wing claw on his datapad. Therin wondered what else he might be able to do to mess with Martinez about the events of last night, when he opened the list of current patients he saw his answer.
The bird has more jokes than I thought he would Martinez thought, while pulling back out his data pad. At least Therin was a good sport about who he went out with, unlike those two Urintal did. The fact Therin was giving him a little bit of shit wasn’t surprising, It was in a way customary for the old salts to poke fun at the new guy's love life. At this point, Therin was the only one who knew he had gone on a date at all, and he hoped it stayed that way at least with Skiksie; If Ivorn figured it out, Martinez doubted he would care much; Martinez had already met Ivorns chipper girlfriend at his point.
I should get back to studying before Shiksie shows up, Martinez thought as he buttoned his top up a bit higher than he preferred. Martinez did not want the others to see the hickey or dig any more into his private life than he was comfortable with.
—
Shiksie arrived at work excited, she was eager to see what Martinez had managed to study during his time away from work; She had given him what she saw as a small number of questions and things he should have been studying over the weekend. She had always done her best learning when she had a nice calm place to read, at least the new Human hopefully had that allotted to him at his own home.
If he did a good job answering what she had given him, she would hopefully be able to increase the rate of his training; She had no idea how long he was going to be here but she wanted to get Martinez certified as a basic Interspecies technician as soon as possible; Getting Martinez that certification would be a great boon for the shop, she and the others could then allow him to assess class green patients without their oversight.
When she entered, something was off in the shop. She could hear Therin and Ivorn chatting happily about their weekends, but the place smelled horrible. A rancid combination of stem cells, iron, pine, the same strange scent Martinez gave off when she knew he was agitated. She initially assumed Martinez just had forgotten to wear his scent suppressors, but when she rounded the corner and saw the massive gash and pink hemostatic gel on the human's face she knew something was definitely off.
Getting closer to Martinez, Shiksie was still nervous about being around him; She felt slight twinges of fear of him striking at her, or her overstepping and boundaries she had yet to learn. While they had managed to build a shaky but cordial relationship at best, she would rather not jeopardize what they do have.
The Human smelled like he had when they had their meeting, along with his heart pounding extremely quickly.
Is he nervous about something? Shiksie thought as she made it next to him, once again without him noticing. She wondered if she should stop sneaking around him, but she would rather not bother the Human whenever she could. Assuming her mere presence was more often than not a bother to the man.
She peered over his shoulder to catch a glance at what he was currently studying. It surprised her, he had quite a few tabs open on the datapad, but the current one was her list of questions. Most of them had not been answered, but he was flicking back and forth between the list and the other tabs searching for answers.
Shicksie could not help but feel her tail sway a bit faster, the fact that he was doing what she asked was certainly progress in repairing their abysmal start to working together. She walked past him, and headed towards her desk; With the human still not having noticed her entrance.
Shiksie decided to not dig into whatever had Martinez on edge, even if she was worried that it has him so unsettled. She assumed if Martinez wanted to talk to her about it, he would do so; most species did that after all, and humans were supposed to be rather social; even if Martinez seemed a bit more… reserved, he was still Human at the end of the day.
Later in the Morning Dr. Harnsis arrived and the crew had their pass down from the night shift regarding any patients that were already in rooms. They only had a Urintal in one of the rooms. He had a broken jaw and dozens of other fractures across the rest of his body. From the briefing, Shiksie knew the Urintal was caught up in some fight the previous night, but with no injuries that were directly life-threatening, He would be perfect practice for Martinez. The Urintal had surgery on his jaw and was still asleep from the heavy painkillers that night shift had pumped into the Lizard-like Alien.
“I will take over the treatment of the Urintal,” Shiksie said, jumping on the chance to treat the patient that was already here. The Urintal were a green species that had been in the Galactic Union for thousands of years. It would be a perfect chance to have Martinez assess a patient and go through the discharge process.
“Very well Shiksie, you, Therin, and Martinez handle that first. The patient should be ready to leave within the hour” Harnsis Chittered as he pointed at the two of them with his larger forelimbs.
Shiksies' ears twitched when Martinez groaned and muttered under his breath. It was rare she mishears someone, but she did not understand why Martinez was muttering he would rather not. She glanced over and saw that therein was patting Martinez on the shoulder reassuring him of something.
What the hell happened? Shiksie thought as she walked toward the two of them.
“Martinez, pull up the patient's charts and their species data; You will be giving myself and Therin a briefing on the species before we go into the room. Do you understand?” Shiksie asked.
Martinez pulled out his datapad, and lazily saluted “I will get it ready” he groaned, before tapping on the screen.
Shifting her attention towards Therin. The bird looked up at her and tilted his head slightly. “What's up Shiksie? Do you need something from me?” Therein chirped.
Shiksie was not sure about what happened but she had to know what she was about to step into. “Yes I do, follow me,” She said flatly before turning around and walking away. Therein following quickly behind.
Once the two of them were well out and away from the center of the shop, far enough that Shiksie was certain Martinez would not hear them. She turned around and knelt in front of Therin. The bird looked at ease like he normally did. Shiksie had never seen anything disturb Therin over the last few years; Therein always just shrugged most issues off, or would on occasion try to pull pranks at others' expense, much to her chagrin. She wanted to make sure the situation was the former and not the latter.
“Therin, does Martinez’s injury have anything to do with that Urintal?” She asked as she leaned her hands on her knees.
Therin fluttered his wings and puffed out his plumage; faking offense to the question. He did not want Shiksie to ruin his chance to see the drug-hazed Urintal being treated by the person who put them in the hospital. He was hoping that Urintal would freak out and try to run away.
“I have no idea, Martinez did not tell me anything at all about what happened,” Therin lied.
Shiksie gave Therin an ice-cold glare that was as sharp as any scalpel. She did not believe the bird at all, he was far too obvious when faking anything. “Therin, I know you are lying. I can hear your heart rate increasing, and I know you aren't afraid of me like Martinez is” Shiksie sighed.
Therin only increased his bolstering refusing to let Shiksie stop his only good joke on the new guy stop before it even started “I mean It, I don't know anything that happened, Why do you assume I know more?”
“Because your pranks are seldom if ever funny, it's clear enough you know more” Shiksie said, tapping her finger on her knee. She looked up behind Therin towards Martinez who was still diligently reading from his datapad, she did not want Martinez to be freaked out and leave. She had caused that with a new trainee once, and Therin once as well. “If anything bad happens to Martinez out of this, I'm holding you accountable, Got it?” She hissed.
Therin backed up and swallowed his spit. He would rather not piss Shiksie off but with the video of Martinez throttling the Urintal he had seen before work. He had no doubt nothing bad would happen to the Human.
“Don't worry Shiksie nothing bad will happen” Therin said.
Shiksie stood towering over Therin, She shook her head. Therin was too stubborn and she knew it, If he wanted a prank to happen it would. No matter how twisted she might think it is. She also wasn’t so stupid as to not pick up on the implied admittance she managed to get out of Therin. “Come on, you are going to be doing this assessment with him after all,” Shiksie said, gesturing towards Martinez.
Shiksie and Therin returned to Martinez as he was finishing his initial reading of the needed information. He initially hoped it was just a coincidence that another Urintal would be here, but once he saw the scans of the patient's bones, he had no doubt his next patient was going to be the man he and Lysa kicked the crap out of the previous night.
He could recall each hit he had seen on the Urintal and was able to point out what ones were his and what ones had to be Lysa’s. The amount of damage was surprising, and the number of fractures was unreal; nearly every rib, and limb had at least one fracture if not more.
Hopefully, this asshole is way too dusted to recognize me, Martinez thought as he looked up at Shiksie and prepared to give the summary of the patient and the Urintal species as a whole.
Shiksie paid close attention to every word Martinez said, Holding tightly onto them. The majority of his summary on the Urintal was accurate; A few mistakes here and there, but he did not have the summary of all the green species memorized as she had. She offered a few corrections but the errors would not affect anything.
Then the summary of the patient's wounds and needed treatment came up, Martinez gripped the datapad tightly and had to periodically pause to take a deep breath. His heart rate would suddenly accelerate. She leaned in closer and got a good view of the Humans dark bark-colored eyes, whenever he paused she saw the vibrant brown was far smaller than normal; He had that same look in his eye from when he took a fighting stance in the storage room with her.
She looked over at Therin, the bird either did not notice how uncomfortable Martinez was or simply did not care. What the hell are you trying, She thought as she started to boil. She was not about to let whatever was going on happen, at first it might have been him trying a prank, but Therins short-sightedness might get the Human or the Urintal hurt.
“Stop,” Shiksie said as she carefully reached her hand out and rested it on Martinez’s shoulder. Martinez recoiled when she touched him, being pulled back from whatever trance he was in. She gently patted his shoulder “Martinez come with me” She said flatly.
Martinez looked up at her sweat rolling off his brow. “Uhh, are you sure? We haven't even seen the patient yet?” he meekly said in protest.
Shiksie had worked with soldiers and police officers enough to know Martinez had some kind of Trauma, and these events were obviously triggering something. The patient can be handled by Therin, while she figures this out. His training be damned, his health came first; even if he likely did not want her to intervene.
“Yes I am sure,” Shiksie purred. She pulled the datapad out of his hands “I need you to come with me now”
She passed the data pad to Therin and glared at the small bird, Therin looked like he was trying to hold back laughter about the state Martinez was in.
I will pluck out your feather you little bird, Shiksie thought. She always thought Therin was a reliable nurse, and a decent friend to have small talk with; but not much else.
“Therin, go ensure the patient gets out of here,” Shiksie said.
Therin looked like he was about to protest the interruption to his idea of a joke, but even Therin did not want to mess with Harnsis’ right hand. Her icy glare had him skittering off toward the patient's room.
“Come with me Martinez, '' Shiksie said softly, doing her best to seem unopposing to him.
Martinez grumbled slightly, he did not want to have to spend more time alone with Shiksie. At least today she seemed to be slightly less forceful with him. The two of them walked out of the office, Martinez saw Shikise pull out her datapad and send a message off to someone, he assumed it to likely be Harnsis. He hoped whatever Shiksie had sent wasn’t going to reflect badly on him. He had knuckled down through his PTSD and episodes to treat patients before, he has never really had the choice not to do so, at this point it has just become a habit.
Once the two of them were out of the building Shiksie led Martinez towards one of the small gardens that was nearby to the building. It was just a simple fountain that had some benches nearby. A ring of well-kept flower beds surrounds it, this time of year they were in full bloom; dozens of vibrant colors swaying like waves as the wind gently pushed on them. Shiksie had always liked it out here, it was not uncommon for her to eat lunch or take a break out here after a particularly nasty patient or situation.
“Would you like to take a seat?” Shiksie asked Martinez while gesturing towards the nearest bench.
Martinez did not say a word, but at least for the moment his heart rate had gone down slightly and he seemed more calm. She was overjoyed that she seemed to be right on the money and that it had something to do with that Urintal that was setting him off.
“Would it be alright If I have a seat as well?” Shiksie asked, still treading carefully around Martinez and his need for boundaries.
The look Martinez gave her was a surprise, it was a strange mixture of shock and confusion. Like he was amazed, Shiksie was asking for permission to do anything.
“Yeah go ahead,” Martinez said, scooting to the far side of the bench as Shiksie sat down nearby.
“So would you want to tell me what happened with the Urintal?” Shiksie asked.
Martinez groaned, he should have figured the moment the icy cat had stopped him she knew something was wrong. He was in no way going to tell her every vivid detail of his previous night, nor did he want her of all people to know the details of what happened in his past. The fact those two events were stacked on each other was just a lot for the sailor to tackle at once.
“I would really rather not, but I assume based on my injuries you probably already know something,” Martinez said
Shiksie sighed, leaned forward, and rested her elbows on her knees. She looked away and at the fountains flowing water, already well aware that just looking at Martinez had upset him before. She wanted him to feel safe and able to talk if he wanted.
“I have my assumptions, but nothing concrete,” Shiksie replied. “I would like it if you trusted me enough to talk about anything bothering you”
Martinez wondered if she truly meant that, She had done a lot to try and help him be welcome; That does not mean she should be fully trusted though.
“Shiksie I just want to get back to work,” Martinez said with a deep sullen tone. Shiksie could still easily smell the sheer amount of adrenaline oozing out of him.
“Listen I'm not going to force you to tell me about it, I just know you want to. You would not have followed me if not” Shiksie replied, “let's just sit here for a while, you can just tell me anything you feel comfortable with, alright?”
Martinez shifted awkwardly and looked towards Shiksie. The fact she looked almost as bad as he did was something he was not used to seeing from her. She was looking off at the far side of the fountain, her tail and ears were more still than he had ever seen them.
Maybe she is not as cold as I made her out to be, Martinez thought.
The two of them sat there in silence for a while, neither certain how long it was but eventually Martinez resumed talking. Shiksies' ears twitched to listen in on what had happened. Martinez walked her through the events of the previous night, but he left out what his dreams had been about. He just told her that the whiplash of going from a nice relaxing date to being in a fight for his life had brought up bad memories from when he was in the Navy.
Shiksie was surprised by the story she heard. She did not expect Martinez to have started to date so quickly, She felt that thorn in her side remembering how badly she messed up with meeting him; Not that she wanted to date Martinez, but the fact he was so easy to get along with just showed her how badly she failed. The most shocking part was how he hospitalized two Urintal, one completely on his own. She just had a few more things about the previous night she wanted to ask.
“Why did you jump into the fight so willingly?” Shiksie asked.
Martinez sighed slightly unsure of the answer himself. He immediately thought it might have been “because it was the right thing to do” but even he knew that wasn’t the whole answer. He felt guilty about not being able to help in the past, and he would be damned if he could stop something bad before it happened.
“I'm not sure” Martinez lied, he just did not want to tell Shiksie about his previous fights with the Human Navy.
“That's alright, we don't always do,” Shiksie said. She thought back to her own parents, how she was still to this day unsure why they sacrificed themselves, or even why the accident caused that sacrifice to happen.
Shiksie looked back at Martinez for the first time since they sat down. Her usually sharp predatory features seemed far softer than before. She did not even hear Martinez’s heart run away when they made eye contact.
Martinez smiled softly back at her, his usually fiery glower a much duller blaze. It wasn't the usual inferno she saw in him, more akin to a tired dwindling flame.
Before she had a chance to say anything else she felt her datapad ringing indicating a call. Looking at the screen, her own heart sank. Why is the director calling me?
​
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So what did you think? lemme here it I love to talk to you all. updoot if you liked.
side note: I am planning out my next project to be a offshoot set on Verilon, in the current day of the story.
​
your bud
-pirate
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