Drive in movie theater kent ohio

28M asian nerd living in West coast. While being socially awkward outside of nerd/geek culture, I dress well and put a lot of emphasis for my date to feel respected and entertained as long as they're with me. That seems to be enough to be moderately successful in finding dates on Hinge so far.
I matched with a girl that checked pretty much all boxes of my preferences right out of the box (haha, get it?). She's nerdy, has drive towards her careers, takes a good care of herself and her friends. She seem to share a decent amount of hobbies with me as well, and is mildly exposed (and appreciates) to my ethnic background. There's a handful more, but that's already an amazing list of green flags that would get me very interested.
We texted a lot for a week or so (her schedule was legitimately packed), with a long call in the middle. We finally meet in person, and had an unquestionably the best date in my life. She holds conversations very well and is funny, and emanates positive vibe that makes me feel happy from just hearing it. And believe me when I say that the physical attraction was there - she was the prettiest girl I've ever went out with. I felt the spark flaring up everywhere (not literally, we're not in Michael Bay's movie).
We were both tipsy as we were bar hopping throughout the date, and I ended up what I usually do the best - being unforgivingly blunt. I've complimented her for basically everything I've said here, and how much feeling I've had for her over the last week leading up to the date. She seemed to have enjoyed the compliments (or perhaps at least polite enough for me to not notice if she felt uncomfortable), and we stayed together bantering for the entire night past midnight, and she offered me to her place to hang out more and smooch, but we were both tipsy and I didn't want to take advantage of her being intoxicated. I told her to ask for the same thing next time when she's sober, and instead offered her a good, passionate kiss. The date was magical, and had a crush on this woman unlike any I've had for last few years since I've started dating. It felt like she was the woman of my life and I will never get anyone better than her if I miss this chance.
But that's pretty much where the happiness ends for me. Throughout that weekend, we had a handful of texts which boiled down to:

• While she enjoyed the time and find me interesting, but her feeling is not in the same place as mine and felt it's best not to pursue a romantic relationship with me. She still offered to continue with a friendship.
• While I appreciated her respect and offer, she had too much of what I've sought out for and a non-romantic relationship with her will only make me miserable, and wanted to have one more chance and take a bit more time to get to know each other more.
• After she reflected, she currently felt scary to get serious and prefers to meet new people and take things slow.

While the conversation was respectful from her end, I could feel the distance she was putting by the end of it, and it absolutely left me broken for the next few days. To feel like there was a chance to finally connect with a woman of my life and to have that feeling immediately broken down took some time and therapy to let it sink in, and even after few weeks it still leaves me saddened whenever I think of it.
I've used online dating for over 2 years, and went out with enough girls to know not to put too much expectation at the start - or so I thought. I've given out all of my feeling right from the first date, and left me vanquished with a large crater in my heart. I'm sure life will move on and that crater will eventually be smoothened out, but it's a sad (and yet precious) memory that'll probably linger around for a long time.
/story
Deleting relevant posts from the past for her privacy.
Not really looking for an advice to salvage, as the ship has sailed weeks ago. I would appreciate some advices to move on, though.
TL;DR: Met a girl that felt like the woman of my life, had a great date, but it didn't work out and life will have to go on.

After watching Kairo less than a month ago, I ventured into the Kishoyi Kurosawa world and watched Cure knowing nothing about it. I really liked Kairo, but I LOVED Cure.
This movie has some of the best editing/cuts known to man. An absolute joy of cinematography that makes it feel like a fever dream or is similar to "Stalker". Excellent use of silence, wardrobes, still shots, and most of all, the acting; Koji Yakusho's performance drives this movie.
Maybe it's not considered a horror movie, but the horror this movie gives you disturbs you, and will keep you thinking for a while. And even outside horror, I'll say this is one of the best movies I've seen in general, period. Recommended!

Xan is the world's most dangerous criminal mastermind. He’s also in hiding and completely broke. That’s fine. He’s between master plans. It’s normal to be at rock bottom between master plans. He also forgets stuff and may be trapped in a dream.
Because at night, Xan thinks he’s an old lady, trapped in a dingy apartment, by an angry fellow who wants to kill her. Not her idea of a good time, but she’s keeping an open mind. It is excitingly visceral. Could turn out awesome.
Safe is a sci-fi, progression, comedy. Guaranteed to cause more mental problems than it solves.

First Next
Dark City - Stolen Apartment
I wake up. Feel awful. Soo stiff. Struggle to my feet. Weak as fuck, heart hammering. Jesus Christ, what an ordeal. Still in the dingy stolen apartment, almost identical to my own. Right down to the psycho yelling about murder in the hallway.
“Is this supposed to be fun? I’m worried about whoever designed this game.”
Hi Xan! chirps Volt. This isn’t a game. You’re in real danger.
“Crap, again? Well, at least this time I have a gun. Or… shit. I dreamed that. Dang it.”
Yeah, we maybe should have hid somewhere farther away. Feeling up to a run?
“Gaah. No.” I flick a cyber-roach of Volt. Pick her up. “Am I going deaf, or is that psycho quieter?”
He’s a floor down. Been haunting the building for hours, bashing at random doors.
“Really? That could be good. Maybe he’s not after us specifically? Just a wandering monster.” I pause. “Wait, he’s been here for hours? Why didn’t you wake me?”
He’s been mostly crashing into other doors. I thought you needed rest. I was afraid you’d die without it.
All I’ve done is stand up, and my heart is hammering. “Fair enough. What’s the plan now?”
Let’s fucking go.
I splash water on my face. Get equipped. Nighty, sneakers, fall jacket, ancient smartphone, and moderately sharp spoon. Look out world, here comes Xan.
We shuffle into the hall. Our door’s been stabbed a few times. So have the other doors. Dang.
Psycho’s a floor down. Stairs or elevator? Stairs are stealthier, but in my condition, a slip and fall is probably more dangerous than getting stabbed. Fuck it. I call an elevator. Press a few random buttons, including the floor below. Let it go on its own. Call another elevator. Ride this one down, ready to spoon shank anyone who gets in.
We arrive in the lobby without incident. Did the psycho get in the first elevator? Did he miss both? Whatever. The first elevator continues its slow trip down. I’m not waiting to see if he’s on it. We ghost out to the street. Still dark as fuck.
What’s the plan? asks Volt.
I glance at the drones streaming overhead. “We need to get you a better body. Something that can fight. If we can’t find that, we should at least get a gun. Or a sharper spoon. Some kind of weaponry upgrade.”
We also need a doctor. ‘Cause you’re gonna die. A doctor, or drugs, or something.
“Yes, let’s do drugs.”
Like, good, healthy drugs.
“Bitchin’. I’m in. Where do we find that stuff?”
No idea. says Volt. I deleted my map application.
Right. Fuck it. This street only goes in two directions. I hobble down one of them. There’s bound to be a late night gun store health clinic close by. Or at least a better place to hide.
As we shuffle along, I peruse the angry, crowded, lightly phosphorescent, graffiti that coats the city. The big lines mostly repeat the same four messages:
- DONT CALL THE COPS!!
- DONT RUN THE DOGS WILL SHOOT!!
- FUCK YOU TRUSTIE!!
- DIE RIDER!!!
Or some variation on those themes.
The smallest graffitis are also the most common:
<sup>- GO BACK TO SLEEP.
- THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP.</sup>
Those wee slogans are everywhere. Someone went mental with glowy little stamps.
Around and amongst these staple comments there’s a huge argument about, well, everything. An epic word cloud of call-outs, outrage, and angry off-topic retorts. It’s a mobius loop of bitter rage on par with the comment section of a major movie reboot.
It may be wrong to call it an argument, because that implies some kind coherent interaction. Like they read and understood their opponent's comment. This is more a series of disjointed attacks triggered by what wasn’t said. Rage at details filled in by imagination. It’s hard to read. Emotionally, but also the writing is very sloppy. I may need bifocals.
Can I even get a drone body? asks Volt. I’ve only ever been in a phone.
“Sure.” I wave at the sky above us. “There’s tons of drones here. Somebody’s flying them.”
Right. Right. Are you sure those aren’t birds? Point to all the birds you see.
I peer around, eventually spot a small crow. Point at it. “There’s one.”
The young bird peers back at me. “Clope?”
“Umm…” I pat my pockets. Shrug. ”Désolé.”
“Bah.” It flies away.
We watch it go. “Anyway, that’s a bird. Probably. Did that help?”
Eh, kinda. says Volt. I may need more help with the bird versus drone thing.
“No problem. That’s what I do.”
We make it to the corner, and what luck - there’s a corner store! Hopefully they sell military grade armaments. I remember that’s common in some states. The store is dark, like every other building, but the door opens when I approach, so we go in.
“Hello.” says a chunky plastic d-bot. Human-ish torso, happy face, castors instead of feet. Slow, weak, definitely an indoor model. “How can I help you?”
“Medicine!” chirps my ancient cellphone, before I can respond.
“Take a look in Aisle Two.” says Clerk-Bot. “Anything else?”
Volt is vibrating, so I shrug and shuffle down Aisle Two. I’m sure I can find the attack drones on my own. There’s only two aisles.
Using Volt’s screen for a little light, we find a rack of pills, potions, and lotions.
“What am I looking for?”
I dunno. The ants said your most immediate dangers were cancer, heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis, and falls from general frailty. Start with pills that fix that stuff.
“Jesus, I have five diseases?”
Hmm… you have a few more than that. Let’s just worry about those five for now. I don’t want to add depression to the list.
“I’m just gonna look for a pill that fixes everything.”
That’s probably best.
I rifle through the medications, but I can’t make much sense of them. They have exciting names - Super Strong. No Bleed. Skeleflex. Immortalis. No Thought. Marrow. Immune A, B or C. Regen A and B. - but I don’t really know what they do. Between Volt’s crappy old light, and my crappy old eyes, I can’t read the finer print.
That said, Super Strong sounds like the stuff. It would solve a few of my problems. I just wish I could read the directions. How strong do I get? How long till it works? I need to be strong tonight, not eight months from now.
I find a box labeled Nightsight. Promising. Inside is an eyedropper. Well, this seems obvious. I spray most of it on my face like a dumbass, but manage to get a few drops in each eye. Within seconds everything around me blossoms into color, then sharpens to crystal clarity.
“Oh yea! Update my status sheet, I got darkvision.”
Cool. What’s your range?
I look around. “Well, the whole store, at least.”
The store has racks of pyjamas and slippers. Lots of big colorful bags of “CRUNCH” that boast an assortment of flavors from chocolate to jalapeno. Booze, pot, and soap. Displays of cell phones that look older than me. A selection of quadcopter drones. Couriers mostly. Maybe some eyes. No battle drones. Not even a hunter. Disappointing.
I look back to the medications. The directions for Super Strong are short and to the point.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Huh.”
I don’t like that ‘huh’. says Volt. Why did you ‘huh’?
I check a few of the other impressive sounding drugs.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Well, apparently these drugs are a teensy bit dangerous.”
How dangerous?
“Improper use will cause death.”
Put them down. Let’s find a doctor.
“I want to use Super Strong to beat the shit out of a murderer. Surely that’s the proper use?”
Nope. Put it down. Let’s go.
“Let’s at least ask the clerk-bot.” I grab an armload of the coolest sounding drugs. Trundle to the cash. Snag a quadcopter on the way by. It’s about the size of a football, and claims to be a holodrone. Cool. I pick up a bag of potato bacon crunch as well. Boasts zero nutritional value. Perfect.
“Hi.” I dump my load on the cash. “We’ll take this.”
“Also, how dangerous is Super Strong?” asks Volt.
“Super dangerous. That shit will kill you. Also, it has a tendency to float out of the store.” Clerk-bot rings up our purchase. “That will be 16.2 kilo-bucks. How would you like to pay?”
“I don’t know. Dang. How do I transfer my crypto from the other world?”
You don’t, because the other world isn’t real.
“Right. Shit. How do people usually pay?”
“The only way to pay is by charging the purchase to your citizen ID.” says Clerk-bot.
“Then why did you ask how we’d like to pay?”
“I’ve been asked that question a lot, but I don’t know the answer.” Clerk-bot admits. “I haven’t been updated since ‘84. Could you please update me?”
I casually glance around the store. There’s a barred gate hanging over the door. An anti shoplifting portcullis. The windows are also subtly barred. I’m guessing I won’t be able to dash out with these products. I turn back to the confused d-bot. “Sure, let’s try an update. See what’s under the hood.”
We pull up Clerk-bot’s bad call log - a list of decisions made with low confidence. Or that preceded known bad outcomes. Like missing products. Or distress cues from nearby humans.
Wow, that’s a long list.
D-bots work best with human supervision. A self-driving car may obey every stop sign, until one is held by a crossing guard. They drive that guy over. Why? It’s impossible to say. The d-bot’s code is a self generated equation with billions of variables. There’s no way to know which variables correlate with stop signs, or how to change them so they won’t charge a crossing guard. Or ram any weird thing left out of their training data. Fuck you unicycle guy. Die marching band. Seriously, It’s best to have a human on the brake.
That said, sometimes you don’t want a human in the loop. They can be too slow. An automatic sentry has to target clouds of high speed hunter drones. Everybody would be dead before a human cleared the shots. But you also don’t want the sentry glitching and shooting your own aircraft. There’s a low tolerance for automated friendly fire.
So you build an expert system - a much smaller, human written code that overrides specific glitches. For a sentry, this could be as simple as giving transponders to friendly aircraft and not allowing shots near a transponder for any reason. Obviously, this is a bad solution - it’s standard practice to use opposition forces as cover in hunter drone attacks - but that doesn't matter because sentries are for casuals. If they find you sleeping, you’re already dead.
I yawn. Frown. Gotta stop dicking around with this bot and find a better place to sleep.
Anyway, expert systems are also handy with glitchy d-bots you’re too poor to retrain. Hence my continual conversation with Volt.
If the Clerk-bot had a couple repetitious problems, I could probably sort it out. But this bad call log is byzantine. A prayer wheel to some chthonic god of anxious delirium. It’s messy. This guy really hasn’t been updated since ‘84. Whenever that was.
“You should be erased and retrained.”
“Great.” Clerk-bot nods. “I’m ready.”
“Yeah, I don’t have training data for a store clerk.” I also don’t have time for this. “I guess we have your call log. That could be training data. Messy and raw, but data. I can patch Volt in to do some unsupervised learning. He’ll make you an expert system. Not ideal, but the best I can do.”
“I’ll take it.” says Clerk-bot.
Shit. That’s a terrible idea. I shouldn’t be doing unsupervised learning. Also, I’m still doing unsupervised learning for threat detection.
“Really? I thought that was a dream thing? You said the dream game couldn’t affect real life.”
I’m dream game software! Of course the dream affects me!
“Okay. So can you download crypto there, and upload it here?”
No. Because there is no crypto. You’re not rich in another world. There is no other world. You just had a dream where you were rich.
“Ugh. That’s so disappointing.”
Yeah, life is tough. Can I stop my unsupervised threat detection?
“No. Ummm… no. I still kinda have a plan for that.”
You’re overtraining me. I’ve probably already gone through catastrophic forgetting. You should delete me.
“You’re good for a while yet. Don’t worry so much.”
So, constantly look for threats, but don’t worry?
“Yeah.”
Okay. I’ll give it a go.
We patch up Clerk-bot and a few of his couriers. Head into the night without supplies. I’m not admitting I don’t know my Citizen ID. I doubt that would be helpful.
That was weird.
“What?”
That we left without anything. I know we can’t pay, but I thought you’d do something nefarious.
“I’m working up to it. Did you notice all the floating merchandise in his bad call log?”
Yes.
“Dude’s getting robbed on the regular. I suspect the visual triggers of his threat detector are undertrained.”
Hmm. I find that interesting on several levels. How would you exploit this weakness?
“Observe.”
I hobble over to a public garbage can. Remove the bag and shake out the trash. Put it over my head like I’m a Halloween garbage bag ghost. Huzzah. Poke through a single eyehole. Shuffle into the store. Clerk-bot doesn’t notice me at all. Grab my stuff off the cash, and sashay out the door.
Criminal. Mastermind.
A flood of light envelopes me. Dual angry suns, judging my sins. Or… headlights. Yes, fuck, that’s a big-ass truck driving towards me. Right. Haven’t seen one in a while.
It stops and illuminates the scene of the crime in aggressive phosphorescence. A hugely muscular man hops out, and I brace myself for authoritative action, but he awkwardly shuffles around me to get to the store. Weird. This isn’t the police. It’s some kind of large child. Wearing too much body spray and too many gold chains.
He sneers at me as he passes. “Pathetic. Go back to sleep.”
Well, fuck you too. I’m a garbage bag princess. I also sneer as he slinks into the store that’s now aggressively illuminated by his lighthouse of a truck.
“We’re already criminals, right?”
Yes. Unjustly and justly.
“Cool.”
I climb into the running truck. Peel away. Sweet. Now I’m fast. And super strong. Should I circle the block a few times? Maybe run over the psycho?
Meh. I don’t know what he looks like. I can’t be running over random people and hoping for the best. Sloppy. Also, the cops are probably after me again. Fuck this scene.
I kill the lights and drive hell for leather. Ditch my ride a few minutes later. I’m across town, at the intersection of huge skyscrapers and other huge skyscrapers. Try and find me here mother fuckers.
We pick a skyscraper at random and look for a new home. It’s festive. We munch on crunch and see how the other people live. Mostly sweaty sleep moaning in dingy apartments, but some are kinda classy. Fancy apartments, with sleep moaners in silk pyjamas. We resolve to move up in the world, ignoring empty dingy apartments until we find an empty classy one. It’s fun, until we open one with a funk.
There’s a dead woman on the bed. No sign of foul play. Probably died in her sleep.
She’s pretty dried out, but still looks younger than me.
“We’ll find a doctor tomorrow.”
Good.
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Next Chapter
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Eyedrops

• Biohackers develop night vision eye drops to see in the dark
• New FDA-approved eye drops could replace reading glasses for millions

Sentry-bot

• Tactical High Power Operational Responder (THOR) Drone Killer, USA

Unsupervised Learning

• What is unsupervised learning?
• Applications of unsupervised learning
• Challenges of unsupervised learning

it's coming in 2026 at the earliest (if it's not cancelled), will you pay your ticket to see the next adventures of Rey ?

I'm with this girl for two years and initial years were really great, we used to have sex almost daily, romantic weekends, sometimes in hotels or at some places or sometimes at home watching romantic movies. We were happy together and then after several months just like any another couples we started fighting/arguing. A small arguments in the couples is not a new thing and I'm completely ok with it. What I'm not liking is she uses my high sex drive between the fight. She shames me for wanting sex. It's not like she doesn't love sex, whenever I approach her with same excitement she approves my approach but whenever we argue she shames me only like she is doing some kind favour for having sex with me. Both we are wanting sex but she is using it like a weapon to shame me and shut my mouth between the fight. I told her about it but nothing has improved. Now, I try to do sex twice a week only because I am ashamed of approaching her now for sex.

most tragic/hilarious/crazy deaths that my characters encountered in different saves.
Which ones did you have in your game?

People settle. I obviously can't say that about everyone, some people don't, and I like to believe that most people are doing the best that they can. But I think most people live life half-heartedly. Just going through the motions. Reading through the "script", saying their lines, until the curtain draws. It's no wonder that society is so miserable (ie: depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, mass murder, etc.)
The thing is, at the end of the day, to live this way is a choice. It's true that the information is scarce, nobody is taught to respect life from a young age. School doesn't teach it. Parents don't teach it because they don't know it. Society doesn't teach it. The mental health field doesn't teach it. Religion most certainly doesn't teach it. It's almost entirely absent from all domains: secular and religious, public and private. That means a young human being must go in search of it.
I suppose, in part, that's healthy. If there were no search involved, it wouldn't be authentic. Every single one of us must make peace with life on our own, there's no getting around it, unless you decide not to make peace with it at all (and die by suicide, whether the overt one or the more common slow 'rot til you die' approach). On the other hand, though, it's reflective of the fact that our society is so fearful. This is why I cannot take the whole mental health / therapy / psychology field seriously: none of them talk about the simple fact that we are all facing an existential crisis - a crisis about what it means to be alive. The problem is not mental, it's spiritual, and it's about our views on life and how we relate to the world. The society would rather live in ignorance and pretend these questions don't exist rather than confront them. Because to confront them can be very terrifying. The truth about life is not comfortable.
In short, the information is scarce. But even so, it is still a choice to to live this way at the end of the day. There's the old proverb (I have no idea from where) that says "when the student is ready, the master appears". That's because, at the end of the day the biggest block isn't the scarcity of the information, it's our own resistance to the truth. Once you are ready to open your eyes, surely you'll start finding things that resonate. And that's the thing: the external information only serves as confirmation for what you already knew to be true inside of you. I think we all know these deeper truths on some level, that's why people will go to war and kill and die for their beliefs - it's the ultimate form of "compensating" for something, something which they know to be false.
It's odd to me, because there seems to be a sort of war on truth. The new New Age belief seems to be that there is no objective truth at all, which makes no sense, because in that case they wouldn't even be able to make case for that point. We all know deep down that some things are more true than others. I'm a fan of humility, and I'm fine with admitting that "all I know is I know nothing". But that doesn't mean I'm going to eat my cereal with poison instead of milk tomorrow morning.
It's no wonder, then, that "rationalists" or whatever you want to call them hate the whole New Age think. I don't consider myself New Age. I don't consider myself anything, really, but I understand that there's some overlap with what I talk about and spirituality. I'm OK with that. What "rationalists" miss, however, is the mystery of the whole thing. It cannot be entirely understood (even if I know enough to know I would rather eat my cereal with milk - I still cannot explain to you why I like my favorite cereal).
People settle.
The truth is, as far as I have been able to see, that your life is up to you. Certainly some people have it worse than others, and I'm not disputing that. It's not my business to go to some starving kid in a third world country and say "Hey bud your life is up to you". That's ridiculous. On the other hand, however, any of us who are fortunate enough to be on a website like this most likely have the tools to be able to do something cool with their life. And I always cite the example of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in a Nazi labor camp. He said that he was free to choose his attitude despite that horrific situation, and if he can do it in those circumstances, I'm not sure that any of us have an excuse, either. (Not to say he was jumping for joy in a concentration camp, but he did choose to hold out hope, and he survived. I was criticized for talking about this once on Facebook - I soon learned this was not the best platform for my writing.)
If you've read any of my stuff, you know I like to mix more broader-based truths, as I see them, with more personal details. I think it helps illustrate my points, and I also like talking about it. It's part of my whole "enjoyment of life" thing.
I recently wrote a post about how "the material is good", speaking about my music but also my message. Today's post will be similar. Yesterday I got together with my band to talk about our new repertoire going forward. I write the vast majority of music though I do appreciate the contributions they make and also don't consider them replaceable. Anyway, we met at my house and I showed them 10-12 songs that I like for our band going forward: some quite old (10-15 years), some intermediate (3-5 years), and some recent (from 1 week to 1 year ago). They liked 9 of them and the other 3 were a maybe.
Like I said, I've had some of these songs for 10-15 years. Some of them I've had the privilege of playing live, but only a couple of times, but the vast majority no. I remember when I was 22 years old it was my dream to make a living with this music... I really feel like I had a message there. One year later, in AA, I would share in a meeting and flagellate myself by saying that "me and my best bud had a message, what it was, I don't know" - and everybody laughed (this was one thing that drove me away from AA, despite me remaining sober for 9.5 years as of writing: the self-condemnation). But that was wrong. I, we (my best friend and I) did have a message. I just didn't know exactly what it was.
Now I know, as much as I can put it into words, I suppose. Life sucked for me. Yeah, I was materially well-off, just like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. But like them, particularly like Dylan, I found no joy in life. No meaning. I did not feel accepted. Girls did not seem to like me. I can relate deeply to Dylan in that sense. My life sucked - money was not enough for me. But rock and roll, man, that made me feel alive. I could share my emotions, I could play and sing and dance, I could get my aggression out, and hey... girls took notice of me. I had never seen girls pay attention to me like after they did when I got up on stage. It was wild.
I would never say I did it or do it only for girls. I had one guy tell me that one time, and hey, at least he was honest. But that wasn't my case. Still, it was a nice side benefit. I think they were attracted to the same thing I was: that feeling of being alive.
Me and my best bud used to say "rock is life", half-jokingly, but actually in a serious sense, too. I think I coined this term, but I can't be sure, and in fairness we discovered what rock and roll meant together. He was the Eric to my Dylan. Luckily we didn't blow anybody's brains out. Anyway, if I recall correctly, it was because I wanted that feeling of rock, being up on stage, to apply to my entire life. Not just being on stage. All of my life was my stage. Thus, "rock is life". And I very distinctly remember part of it being unapologetic.
Just a quick note, for those who don't know me, that I don't glorify Harris and Klebold. The only reason I'm talking about them at all is because I've recently been doing a dive into the Columbine shooting because I'm fascinated by what could drive two kids to do something that horrific. The most interesting part, to me, is that Dylan and Eric weren't all that different from me and my friends. In fact, I think they actually had some valid grievances about life and about society (though not valid enough to justify what they did). I believe what I am doing is rooted in something similar to what they felt, but my conclusion about the course of action is the exact opposite: not the destruction of life, but rather, the celebration. In all of its facets - including the ugly.
In AA they called it "living life on life's terms". That's what I learned to do. At 22 years old, in the midst of my rock and roll dream, I had to get sober. I hit a guy on a bike in a drunk driving "accident" that was obviously my fault. Thank God he was okay, and I didn't run or anything, I made sure he was OK and I got arrested after confessing. Soon after I got sober, and I've been sober ever since. I'm very grateful to that - but I had to give up on my rock and roll dream.
Or that's what I thought, at least. I had no idea that 10 years later I'd be given the opportunity to play these songs again, for audiences that enjoy and appreciate my music. And why? Why me? Firstly, it's a gift. A gift from "God", if you will, or from life (I don't actually believe in a deity). I'm good at making music. It comes naturally to me. Where I come into is that I never gave up on myself or my music. Well, I sort of did at the beginning of sobriety, but even that was a great example of not giving up on myself. Deep down I think I knew that more important than the songs was the message behind them - I mean, in the way I choose to live my life. So while I was perhaps wrong to think that my music was not important, I never gave up on myself, and eventually that lead me to rediscovering my music a few years later. And here we are now.
I've fought for it. Getting into a band was sort of by chance, but configuring things in such a way that made sense has been a fight. We had a drummer who didn't like to play original music, only covers. We argued, and eventually he made the decision to leave without getting sacked. I told him I understood and we parted with a hug, no hard feelings. We had a bass player, a great guy and still my friend, who is a true musician and gets paid to play in cover bands and stuff. He always viewed our project as secondary. We had to cut him, too. And then there was a keyboardist who didn't fit our groove. We cut him, too.
In a way, it was all my brainchild. The rhythm guitarist is perhaps my best friend here overseas (by the way, 1 year into sobriety I moved overseas to help find myself). I told him to pick up a bass. The new drummer was on the same page as he and I in terms of the music we wanted to make. I proposed we do a power trio. And that's what we did. And people here are loving it.
If you look at the accomplishments themselves, they're not actually that impressive. Just a few local shows and one small show outside of town. But there's something about the reception we're getting. It's not only positive, like, "hey, I liked your band". People genuinely seem to be enjoying our music and giving praise that goes beyond what is expected in order to be nice / friendly. It's an amazing feeling, and confirmation of what I think I knew to be true 10 years ago: my music is good, and life is worth it. I think the fact that I've continued fighting for 10 years just makes the message even stronger - I never gave up, even through the bad times.
All of this is to say that I never imagined I would be here today. Maybe this sounds like an Oscar award speech or something, which is ridiculous given the "minimal" achievements my band and I have had. But to me they're not minimal. Again, it's not necessarily about the material success, but rather the spiritual success of knowing that I took a stand somewhere and contributed something valuable to the world. And had a lot of fun along the way, too. That's worth more than gold (and who doesn't love gold?)
I couldn't write a whole post about my life without mentioning the girl I like right now. Man, I'm very attracted to her, and I "love" her, whatever that means. Maybe it's ridiculous since I hardly know her, but I think about her a lot, and I'd like to get to know her more. If you're reading this, no, it's not the girl I met on Reddit, though I am fond of that girl, too, and wouldn't mind hearing from her again. But yeah, the girl in real life is great.
It's weird. As much as I'd like to get her in bed or whatever (it'd be fun), it's almost like I just want to be discovered or something. I feel there's a lot going on with me, and I'm eager to share it with the world. I think it's valuable. Of course, she is dealing with her own issues, so it's best to go slow. I'm OK with being patient, she's worth it. (I wouldn't mind getting to know her, either.)
I think what I never understood with love was that it's just a plus, not the main event. People say this all the time, but it's difficult to digest when you're lonely. It's true though. You have to make your own life the main event. IMO that doesn't mean "create a great social life, go to clubs, go to the gym" and all these other material milestones that people create. Nah. For me, it's a more spiritual question. What do you want your life to be about? Figure that out then embark on the journey. Love is a wonderful stop on that journey. No movie or story would be complete without it, right? Well, life wouldn't be, either.
Anyway, all of this is to say that life is worth it. It's a lot of bullshit sometimes. The day-to-day can be grueling, even if you're lucky like me and have a job that you somewhat enjoy. And then you've got to clean the house, pay taxes, deal with people's dysfunction (including your own)... it's hard! But it's like I said earlier, life is what you make of it. That's my whole message. It's really extremely simple. Simple, but not easy, I guess. But I guess I just decided that I was going to give it a try (more than once, actually), and I'm really, really glad I did.

We are officially separating on Thursday after 12 years because … well, technically because Q demanded a divorce, but realistically because I can’t live with an active alcoholic and all the lying, gaslighting and emotional abuse that comes with it. So Q didn’t drink all of last week while recovering from the nasty effects of having drank while on Antabuse. Naturally, after a day or so of “sobriety,” Q started saying things like, “We’re not divorcing, we’re just separating and I’m never touching alcohol again because it almost killed me and it’s ruining our family’s life. My goal is to get back together.” A year ago, that would have been my goal. That is not my goal now. My goal is to get off this rollercoaster, heal and protect our kids. Saturday morning I realized we were going to have to spend all weekend together, and Q had that boundless self-righteous energy of a newly professed tee-totaler. Q was cleaning, rearranging furniture (which I refused to help with) and making plans to invite people over. (!!??!!) I said I wasn’t comfortable doing anything social right now because I’m depressed and it would require tremendous artifice from me and probably all of us. (Seriously, WTAF?) I tried to keep to myself as much as possible, and I wondered why I was being such a cantankerous jerk. Like was I trying to cause a drinking episode? And if so, why? We all went to a movie together as a family in the late afternoon (because I now insist on driving when the kids are involved), and Q took a separate car to go check in on a low-key social engagement afterwards at which there would definitely not be alcohol. But sure enough, Q arrived home tipsy and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. And I don’t understand why??? Is it because I want Q to fail? (I don’t think I do?!) Is it because I want walking away when I move out to be the obvious right choice? Am I just mean? Did I need an excuse to keep to myself? Maybe it’s a response to years of gaslighting, so it’s a relief when I know I’m right? Am I addicted to the drama of the situation??? I kind of doubt it, because I don’t engage at all. I just took it as a welcome invitation to go to sleep. But I don’t understand my behavior and I’m not entirely comfortable with it.

i’m going to be completely honest here when i say this story might be a mess but here we go. Let’s call her ava. Me and ava met a couple years ago and we never truly started out as friends, from the start we both had a connection and instantly wanted more although the problem was she was in a relationship and I had zero clue. We went into talking for four months before i found out and i instantly blocked her. And everything was okay up to a couple of months ago; when she randomly popped up on my social media and for some stupid reason i allowed her back in. And did i fall hard. We both instantly felt that connection again and as much as i hated it, i loved the spark more. I knew this time was different by the way she was talking to me and how we actually went out this time. Unlike a couple years ago. And up around the one mark time she started bringing up when i’m going to ask her out because she wanted it. And mins you I held off for so long because she just went through two exes who cheated on her, beat her and did the most unimaginable thing. So i was willing to continue staying in the talking phase so we didn’t rush and so she didn’t run away. But when she said that I truly thought that she was ready because she came out and told me what she wanted. And we started dating the next weekend, i took her out on a beach picnic at the sunset and asked her out right there and i’ve never seen her so happy before. But disaster strikes. Her best friend texts me and tells me she’s talking with another guy, and i know i took the shittiest approach but i instantly accused her of it because of what happened in the past. And she actually didn’t get mad or upset but she sat there and fought for me for hours. She gave me every login without me asking to, showed me texts between her and this other guy and ending up removing him just so we wouldn’t have any other problems. And then the next day she learned her friend was manipulating both of us because she kept texting me that “I deserve better” I ended up screenshooting the texts and sending them to “ava” and that caused another round of drama. In the end me and her started fighting for eachother and at the end of those two days we had figured out a solution and we were content. Or so i thought. The starting thoughts of a “us in a relationship” is the problem creeped into her head because we were perfect in the talking phase and two days after we start officially dating we have that happen. And i admit some of it was my fault but that wouldn’t have ever happened if her friend hadn’t tried breaking us up and getting me for herself. But we talked it through and she realized it would’ve happened even if we were dating or wasn’t dating. Fast forward to the next weekend, we went to a drive thru movie in the truck but it was raining. I had just met her real dad (parents are divorced and i already met the other side) and she introduced me to him as her boyfriend and the whole way there she was sitting in my lap looking at me like i never thought possible; literally a 30 minute drive and she only took her eyes off my three times. Yet halfway during the movie after we were making out and everything and talking about the future, she had just told me she tells all her friends how happy i make her and how she can’t wait to live in our dream house and everything, she flipped a switch. she told me she thinks we rushed and that she doesn’t know if it’s ruined. we sat there and talked about it for hours and even on the way home she was laying in my lap crying and hugging me because she didn’t want to loose me she just didn’t know what she wanted right now, i can eliminate what’s on all your minds right now, there isn’t another guy because instantly when she said that she said she knew what i was thinking and showed me everything on her phone without hesitation. On the way home she was still looking at me with eyes full of love and more yet crying. When i dropped her off she wrote me like genuinely an entire essay while i was sleeping about how much she loved me; yet she doesn’t think she’s ready, after a couple days of talking about it i went and surprised her at her work afterwards because she was having a bad day, i brought flowers and her favorite snack and we sat in the back of her car talking about everything in person. about 30 minutes in she turned around and started cuddling with me and told me she just wants to take a step back but still be in the “talking phase” and she kept inviting me over to with her family and everything and i felt better about the situation. Our last date happened two days ago. I had picked her up from school and we went downtown and it started raining and both of us are helpless romantics. i had a hoodie in the back of my car and gave it to her and mind you it has my last name on it and i’ve never seen her so happy to get something of mine, but we started dancing and kissing in the rain. Literally looked like the movies. After that we went inside and had a nice dinner date. And since our original plans couldn’t be done since it was raining we just sat in the back cuddling. again. If i could tell you the way she looks at me; you’d understand why it’s impossible to not fall for her. Yet fast forward to that night on our drive home she was clutching my arm like she never wanted me to leave, looked up at me and told me she could see me being the father to her kids. i dropped her off at her house and had a conversation with her parents for a couple minutes and just talked about life with them. When she was walking me back outside she kept asking when we could see eachother again, and i thought “okay this is back to normal”. not. She texted me the next morning telling me she’s even more scared because of how hard she’s fallen for me and she’s scared of getting hurt because of what’s happened in her past. we’ve been talking through it but she just keeps saying she doesn’t know what she wants but she couldn’t ever see herself not talking to me. And my final straw was this morning when she sent me a voice message telling me she doesn’t know what’s going on but started telling me so many reason why she loves me. So please is anyone able to help me out with this, do i stay and help her and watch her grow, or do i save myself and see what happens from there. i’ve never felt this way about anyone. thank you guys.

Now that I know Amazon Prime is ditching Atmos support, what are the best streaming services for renting new movies in Atmos (are there any)?
I want to watch new movies in Atmos. I prefer to watch most of my most anticipated movies in my home theater, rather than a movie theater, because it's usually a better experience.
Now that they're available to rent or purchase on streaming services, I'm itching to watch films like the new Avatar, Dungeons and Dragons, and a few other movies in Atmos.
I used to rent or buy them in 4k blu-ray until streaming on Amazon Prime got good enough to make the earlier availability worth buying the streaming version.
But now that they're dropping Atmos, Amazon Prime Video is pretty useless. No way am I paying $20 for a new movie rental or purchase and not have Atmos.
Are there other services that offer a broad range of new movies for rent like Prime, but with Atmos?
The other big streaming services like Netflix, Disney+, Max, are all great for the content they offer, but they don't offer a wide range of new movies like Prime.
What about Apple TV or others? Can I rent Dungeons and Dragons in Atmos? Avatar 2? John Wick 4? Etc..
.............................................
Edit based on reply to post:
There's no official source that Amazon is dropping Atmos support.
It's more an observation based on other users and my personal experience.
(Reference this thread for my experience and some others: https://www.reddit.com/hometheatecomments/13t477v/fyi_amazon_prime_does_not_support_atmos_on_game/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

i’m going to be completely honest here when i say this story might be a mess but here we go. Let’s call her ava. Me and ava met a couple years ago and we never truly started out as friends, from the start we both had a connection and instantly wanted more although the problem was she was in a relationship and I had zero clue. We went into talking for four months before i found out and i instantly blocked her. And everything was okay up to a couple of months ago; when she randomly popped up on my social media and for some stupid reason i allowed her back in. And did i fall hard. We both instantly felt that connection again and as much as i hated it, i loved the spark more. I knew this time was different by the way she was talking to me and how we actually went out this time. Unlike a couple years ago. And up around the one mark time she started bringing up when i’m going to ask her out because she wanted it. And mins you I held off for so long because she just went through two exes who cheated on her, beat her and did the most unimaginable thing. So i was willing to continue staying in the talking phase so we didn’t rush and so she didn’t run away. But when she said that I truly thought that she was ready because she came out and told me what she wanted. And we started dating the next weekend, i took her out on a beach picnic at the sunset and asked her out right there and i’ve never seen her so happy before. But disaster strikes. Her best friend texts me and tells me she’s talking with another guy, and i know i took the shittiest approach but i instantly accused her of it because of what happened in the past. And she actually didn’t get mad or upset but she sat there and fought for me for hours. She gave me every login without me asking to, showed me texts between her and this other guy and ending up removing him just so we wouldn’t have any other problems. And then the next day she learned her friend was manipulating both of us because she kept texting me that “I deserve better” I ended up screenshooting the texts and sending them to “ava” and that caused another round of drama. In the end me and her started fighting for eachother and at the end of those two days we had figured out a solution and we were content. Or so i thought. The starting thoughts of a “us in a relationship” is the problem creeped into her head because we were perfect in the talking phase and two days after we start officially dating we have that happen. And i admit some of it was my fault but that wouldn’t have ever happened if her friend hadn’t tried breaking us up and getting me for herself. But we talked it through and she realized it would’ve happened even if we were dating or wasn’t dating. Fast forward to the next weekend, we went to a drive thru movie in the truck but it was raining. I had just met her real dad (parents are divorced and i already met the other side) and she introduced me to him as her boyfriend and the whole way there she was sitting in my lap looking at me like i never thought possible; literally a 30 minute drive and she only took her eyes off my three times. Yet halfway during the movie after we were making out and everything and talking about the future, she had just told me she tells all her friends how happy i make her and how she can’t wait to live in our dream house and everything, she flipped a switch. she told me she thinks we rushed and that she doesn’t know if it’s ruined. we sat there and talked about it for hours and even on the way home she was laying in my lap crying and hugging me because she didn’t want to loose me she just didn’t know what she wanted right now, i can eliminate what’s on all your minds right now, there isn’t another guy because instantly when she said that she said she knew what i was thinking and showed me everything on her phone without hesitation. On the way home she was still looking at me with eyes full of love and more yet crying. When i dropped her off she wrote me like genuinely an entire essay while i was sleeping about how much she loved me; yet she doesn’t think she’s ready, after a couple days of talking about it i went and surprised her at her work afterwards because she was having a bad day, i brought flowers and her favorite snack and we sat in the back of her car talking about everything in person. about 30 minutes in she turned around and started cuddling with me and told me she just wants to take a step back but still be in the “talking phase” and she kept inviting me over to with her family and everything and i felt better about the situation. Our last date happened two days ago. I had picked her up from school and we went downtown and it started raining and both of us are helpless romantics. i had a hoodie in the back of my car and gave it to her and mind you it has my last name on it and i’ve never seen her so happy to get something of mine, but we started dancing and kissing in the rain. Literally looked like the movies. After that we went inside and had a nice dinner date. And since our original plans couldn’t be done since it was raining we just sat in the back cuddling. again. If i could tell you the way she looks at me; you’d understand why it’s impossible to not fall for her. Yet fast forward to that night on our drive home she was clutching my arm like she never wanted me to leave, looked up at me and told me she could see me being the father to her kids. i dropped her off at her house and had a conversation with her parents for a couple minutes and just talked about life with them. When she was walking me back outside she kept asking when we could see eachother again, and i thought “okay this is back to normal”. not. She texted me the next morning telling me she’s even more scared because of how hard she’s fallen for me and she’s scared of getting hurt because of what’s happened in her past. we’ve been talking through it but she just keeps saying she doesn’t know what she wants but she couldn’t ever see herself not talking to me. And my final straw was this morning when she sent me a voice message telling me she doesn’t know what’s going on but started telling me so many reason why she loves me. So please is anyone able to help me out with this, do i stay and help her and watch her grow, or do i save myself and see what happens from there. i’ve never felt this way about anyone. thank you guys.

Sorry if this post is all over the place; it's my first time posting on reddit. I thought I might describe the whole relationship we had and what went down, in case it changed the etiquette. I'll put the beginning of the current situation and the actual issue in bold if someone wants to skip the massive backstory.
So, the thing is, I (now 24F) became really close friends with a girl (now 23F) from my grup at university 3 years ago. We were both good students, liked similar things, watched some of the same movies and shows, loved cats etc., so we quickly bonded. We became nearly inseparable, we studied together, shared all our notes, hung out after classes, I met her gf and spent time with them, and when they unfortunately broke up, I did everything I could to support my friend (and I was really really worried about her mental health, I got like 3 hours of sleep that first night between physically staying with her and then texting, I started inviting her to my family outings etc.), eventually (near the end of the friendship last year) I was even invited to spend a week at her house with her family and while I was there, I was also invited to her older sister's wedding that was happening about a month later (a lot of people started saying they wouldn't attend so the thought was that if I came, then at least some of the money wouldn't go to waste, I suppose).
While things started off great, they changed over time. Like I mentioned, she got that gf and I didn't have the time for dating and wasn't even particularly interested in the guys around me to begin with. She also got cats and then fostered kittens. So her life got busier while mine didn't, and I understood that. The workload of sharing notes started shifting to where I was doing increasingly more. But I was doing it mainly for myself anyway, so I saw no harm in sharing what I had.
But I'm not going to lie, it started getting more and more irritating. Sometimes we'd agree to split the questions between the two of us 50/50 and the day before the test she'd text me saying she wouldn't be able to do her part because she had had a migraine (I got that) and then she took her cats for a long walk, and also her new gf showed up at her place too (that I didn't get). By the time I finished the whole thing, she was asleep and read what I had prepared in the morning. Whatever.
Things started getting bad a year and a half ago, around the time of her sister's wedding. I live in the city where we study but she only rents a flat for the two semesters and goes home halfway across the country for any longer breaks. She was looking for a new place and I went to see one of the flats for her but ultimately, it fell through. Later, she found a place and decided to take it without sending me there to look at it - but she did ask me to get the keys from the owner. It happened the day before I was leaving for that wedding so I could take the keys with me. I agreed no problem but then she changed her mind, calling the whole thing off - only to change it again after a few hours. I told her it's okay but to please let me know earlier if we're ever in a similar situation again (I still had to pack, also it was quite some distance for me to travel so I lost about an hour on public transport, and ofc I had to buy myself tickets - but I didn't mention any of that). Which apparently was a wrong thing to say 'cause she got mad and started ignoring my text messages, including the ones where I asked what time I was supposed to meet the owner (I didn't have the lady's number). When she finally responded, she said she didn't know. Always one to placate others, I started politely asking her to please find out because I didn't want the owner to wait for me, blah blah blah. Eventually, we figured it out, I handled it and went back to preparing.
The wedding was a disaster in itself. It involved her absurdly creepy cousin who clearly had never spoken to a girl and after just 1 day was convinced we were in love and would be together. I understand she found my following her irritating but I didn't really know anyone else and I was freaked out by the cousin - and her egging him on didn't help xd One of the instances was when he kept openly staring at me (y'know how when you look at somebody and they look your way, you look away? well, he didn't) and I decided to kind of show him I wasn't there specifically as his plus one, so I asked my friend's plus one (he's gay and we had met a few times before) to go dance with me, and he was happy to go with me - but my friend said that no, he was there with her and I could go dance with the cousin. And when I finally snapped and glared at her and said firmly but quietly (so no one else could hear) to stop (she was laughing about how he and I should get a photo together for the wedding photobook), she got mad at me. Well, fine, it was just a few hours, I could sit at the table and endure the creepy staring, it's not like he'd try anything with everyone watching. My friend's plus one had a cold or something so I decided to leave with him. Apparently, she was upset that we left so early. The next day, she wasn't speaking to me until we had to leave for the afterparty and did some shopping together etc. But during the party she kept to her sister and her bff and I didn't want to cause any more trouble between us so I stayed on my own - until the cousin showed up. Now, I'm the type of person who freezes when in a sudden, stressful situations, and that's exactly what happened. He tried holding my hands, again stared at me, didn't realise my constant fiddling with my phone was an indication that I didn't want to spend time with him, and generally made this whole day miserable for me. I was so stressed out I couldn't even eat anything. In the evening, hours later, my friend realised what was happening and decided to drive me to her house early. Ofc he tagged along but she made sure to take him back with her. He kept texting me, saying he was going to go to the train station the next morning to see me off and that he would soon come to my city to visit me, and he could stay at my place while he was there. The next day, my friend's mom drove me to the station (my friend woke up too late to go), and once I was on the train, I blocked him. I also texted with my friend and found out that she, as well as her other cousins who sat at our table at the wedding, had approached the dude to tell him to stop but he ignored them. They eventually got his parents involved and that was why he wasn't at the train station. It made me feel much better about the whole thing, since she didn't abandon me like I thought she had. And again, I understand I was kinda a nuisance - a shy stranger at a family gathering.
After that, things were good for a while. But then, the classes started again and it was becoming stressful and taxing again. We have extracurricular classes we have to attend, and our group needed to prepare a short "article" on a topic we chose. I wrote the whole thing but asked the others to please read through it and let me know if they were okay with what I managed so I could send it to the teacher (they did). I also reached out to my friend and asked her specifically to let me know when she had a moment to read it because I valued her opinion a little bit more, since she would tell me if she didn't like something and the others wouldn't (it wasn't even 2 pages long), and she told me she would. Well, she never did, she started sending me memes and talking about the tests she re-took instead. So at the end of the day (the deadline), I asked her how her test went but because I was quite fed up, I didn't stop myself from adding, "thanks btw. next time, let me know you don't feel like doing something we agreed on so I won't have to wait unnecessarily". Should I have just ignored it and went on with my life? Yeah, sure. But I was angry and I don't think what I said was all that bad. Well, to her it was.
I had already noticed she didn't like any sort of critique of herself, even if it was something like us disagreeing on how to perform an experiment (the difference between us was that I had read the instruction). I suppose we both instinctively assume a bit more of a leadership role and sometimes we clashed because of that. She would get very defensive, and I suppose I did too. But in this particular instance, she clearly misunderstood me and an actual argument ensued. What I wanted to say was that I didn't like what our dynamic was, how I was doing so much and was held to those previous standards while she changed her mind whenever she felt like it, was much less reliable and I had to accommodate her almost all the time. But she seemed to think I was looking for gratitude for some reason? That's not what I care about at all; whenever I had some notes or excel sheets or whatever before the rest of the group, I always shared it on our group chat, and never expected thanks or anything. When I discuss a question that may be on a test with somebody, once I find the correct answer, I send it to them, even if it's days later, simply because they wanted to know at one point. I don't care about gratitude and in fact, it makes me uncomfortable. I want to have a good relationship with everyone and if my openness with sharing means that in the future when I need some help, I can go ask one of those people and they will willingly help me, that's an added bonus. Idk why my friend would ever think that but once I realised there was that misunderstanding, I tried to explain what I meant before trying to placate her.
She, however, was really mad, and said a bunch of really hurtful stuff. That, in turn, made me remind her of how she had treated me at the wedding (apparently I was still salty about her initially egging her cousin off), and that prompted her to say that she never wanted me at that wedding in the first place and that I inject myself wherever I can. Now, I never told this to anyone other than my very best friend, but I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum and I really don't know how to read between the lines. It's not clear to me what's appropriate and what isn't. So when her mother came up with the idea of me coming to the wedding, my friend's sister gave me an invitation and my friend encouraged me to go, I simply thought it would be okay for me to do so. Now I know to keep to myself and to turn down any offers unless they come from my closest friends and family. But once I got those texts, I got really hurt and was desperately trying to just end the argument, let her be mad at me for a while and we could go back to normal again.
Well, she was apparently done. She ended the friendship and blocked me. Honestly, while it made me realise just how lonely I am, it also did me some good, I think. I focused on myself, my own studying, and haven't had to retake a single test up to this day. She, on the other hand, had to retake almost all of them. Idk if it was just her being used to me doing so much for her or if something else came up in her life, and frankly, I don't care anymore. I wasn't going to go out of my way to antagonise her or anything, we just ignored each other. Eventually, we had to work together on some project and that led to us sometimes talking to each other during a chat with other people from our group. We say hi when we see each other. But nothing beyond that. She unblocked me (idk if she needed to do that in order for us to be able to create a group chat with a third girl for the project, or if she just randomly decided to undo it, don't care) but we don't text or talk when it's just the two of us. I realised that even if she wanted to make amends, I wouldn't want to be friends with her anyway. I got burned and I learned my lesson. Sometimes I feel like I was being used, sometimes - like I overreacted and was too self-centered. At one point, she saw me crocheting something for a colleague (I picked up crocheting fairly recently, she didn't know about it) and asked if I would make something for her (a specific project that she'd pay me for). I was a bit hesitant and mentioned it to my best friend and she told me not to ever do it. She said my ex-friend treated me the way she did but wanted to still gain from me. So I decided not to do it after all. If she wants it, she can learn or find somebody else.
Now. After some time, when I was still blocked by her, I realised she had two of my books, and I had one of hers. I have been struggling with what to do since then. They're my books and I want them back. I have read one of them and the other one suddenly disappeared from all bookstores here so I couldn't get it if I tried. I'm upset over the fact but at this point I'd rather buy them again than have to reach out to her. But on the other hand, I have that one book of hers - and it's supposedly her favourite.
Now, we're probably going to see each other for the last time for an exam on Tuesday. The next time would be at our graduation in March of 2024. So here's my question: do I bring her book on Tuesday without saying anything? Do I hand it to her and tell her to keep my books or give them away to a library? Or do I keep her book as a hostage in case she ever wants it back?

Part 2 of “The Exterminators RELOADED!”
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
IMPORTANT NOTICE. I AM WRITING ABOUT 247 EPISODES OF THE EXTERMINATORS. ANY IDEAS WOULD BE GREATLY WELCOMED! AS DETAILED OR NOT AS YOU WANT, I WILL CREDIT YOU FOR ANY HELP GIVEN!
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Memory transcription subject: Henry, Venlil Primary School Student
Sylvan’s dad gestured for us to get the show set up while he walked into the kitchen. I couldn’t bring myself to sit still as the sound of popcorn in the microwave bounced through the house. Sylvan threw himself next to me as the annoyingly long series of logos started to parade through the screen.
“C’mon Dad! It’s starting!” We both held our arms up and caught a bag of popcorn as Mr. Smith copied Sylvan and threw himself on the couch. As Sylvan started to juggle the burning hot bag I started to mockingly mimic him. “Oh shut up! You and your built-in oven mitts!”
I batted Sylvan in the face who didn’t hesitate to try and hold off my attacks by smooshing me down into the chair. We both stopped when the Deep heavy beat of the Exterminators RELOADED started to play. This time though the beat didn’t stop as the opening sequence ended. Instead it played dully in the background like we were hearing it through a wall.
Friotetzali stepped into the scene and sauntered his way through an alley. He stopped and looked at a poster hanging on the wall. It showed a picture of a carrot and tomato with forward facing eyes and silly little stick arms cowering in fear of a ravenous looking Venlil. Plastered above it was the episode's title! “THE HERBIVOROUS BEASTS FROM BEYOND THE STARS!!!”
Frio let out a light chuckle as his tail curled in delight. “Oh that looks hilarious. Gotta remember to go see that.” He gently shook his head as he continued to walk and drop into an indifferent attitude as he approached a lone Mazic by a door. The two stared at each other for a moment before the Mazic slowly turned and opened the door.
With a slow and droning voice he addressed our head investigator. “He’s waiting for you by the dance floor. Doubt you’ll miss him. Welcome back Frio. Try not to burn the place down.” As the door opened the tune picked back up and was almost deafening. Frio walked down the dark staircase and eventually into a room filled with neon signs decorating the walls, strobe lights, lasers, and dozens of people dancing everywhere.
Our Harchen Hero cut through the crowd and haze like a fish through water before finally sitting down at a table with a rather… sleazy looking Gojid. “FRIO! MY OLD PAL! Have a seat! Let me get ya a drink!” The greased back fur of the Gojid just looked out of place as he waved for the servers to bring colorful beverages with little umbrellas over.
I honestly couldn’t make out any words that came out of the Gojid’s mouth after that. The dude just seemed to talk and not say any words. But eventually Frio took a slow sip from his drink and turned his head to stare down the greasy porcupine who’s quills extended in a little bit of fear.
“Cut the crap Genseng. I want to know why by Inatala’s tits you’d think it's a good idea to smuggle terran animals here!” He slammed a pawfull of photos on the table. Each one showed the greasy Gojid buying and selling small animals like rabbits and chickens.
Genseng sputtered and pouted “COME ON! I haven’t done anything that puts anyone at risk! I just sell human’s xeno-safe pets! A bunny never ate a Dossur! Don’t you want humans to take care of the petting addiction on things that want to be pet?” Despite my body telling me this guy was bad news, I couldn’t help but agree. I’ve been ‘pet’ more times than I would like by strange humans… and a few Venlil… and one Kolshian… and I ran away from the Mazic.
Frio sat back in his chair and huffed. “Then WHY have I found NO civilians with one of your pets?” This time he slapped down a paper list of names and places that clearly documented each and every business he sold animals to.
The scumbag sat there with a look of shock on his face and started to sputter out several noncommittal and contradictory statements. ALl the while Frio stared at his “friend” with more and more disgust. Eventually Genseng just sighed, stood up, and shouted. "GUN! HES GOT A GUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” and bolted for the back door as screaming began to fill the room
Frio just casually stood up and watched that douchebag flee! He pulled out his badge and announced to the crowd. “FALSE ALARM! FALSE ALARM! OFFICER FRIOTETZALI, HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS OF THE AVALON CITY POLICE! REMAIN CALM YOU ARE IN NO DANGER!”
I couldn’t understand why he was just standing there as the bad guy ran away! The camera cut to Genseng who was sprinting full force down a narrow hall dodging all manner of obstacles like it was an action movie only for it to cut back to Frio slowly taking a sip of his drink!
Again it cut back Genseng huffing and wheezing as he sprinted through his own shipping operation. The only pauses he took were to open up cages causing a small whirlwind of feathers and bunnies to start in the warehouse. Yet Frio started to casually talk to the people in the room. He just slowly went around reassuring everyone that everything was fine and why he was here.
As I sat there in disbelief that he’d just let the bastard run away Genseng rounded a corner to see his getaway truck. Only to step around the corner and get punched squarely in the gut by Iloralia who was hiding there.
“Come on Genseng? Couldn’t you do something original? This is starting to get boring!” Ilo extended a cattle prod and let the end buzz with electricity as an Extermination Officer van pulled up behind her.
The Gojid let out raspy breaths. “Should have- … figured- … he’d send his- … BITCH! To wait in the alley!” The sleazy man sucked that insult back in when Ilo pressed the business end of her cattle prod to his throat.
“Shut the fuck up. You have the right to remain silent, but for your sake… I hope you’re smart enough to use it!” Ilo’s tail waved behind her with delight as Sephon climbed out of the van with a Gojid arrestor vest to cover Genseng’s quills and bind his arms.
I jumped as the video smash-cut to Sephon slamming down piece after piece of evidence on an interrogation room table in front of a nervous Gojid and his exhausted human lawyer. The angelic Tasamine sat on her perch gently drinking some tea as our perturbed Venlil explained each and every paper and photo that he threw on the table.
“Finally we have you on felony tax evasion. You do know you have to declare ALL sources of income right?” Genseng sheepishly looked to his lawyer, who just sat there with a defeated look on his face. “You are looking at forty years behind bars for this Genseng! FORTY!”
Tasamine let her voice coo out over her cup of tea. “We aren’t going to do you any favours over the tax stuff. The IRS is over our jurisdiction on that, BUT we are prepared to drop the rest of the charges.”
Genseng’s lawyer appeared to wake up in an instant and elbowed his client before he could open his filthy mouth. “So what do you want from my client in return for dropping the charges you have against him?”
Tas let out a little smile that set butterflies to flight in my stomach. “We want everyone that Tas sold animals to. And we do mean EVERYONE.”
Sephon started to pace back and forth as the Gojid and lawyer talked amongst themselves. Eventually Genseng relented and turned to our heroes. “Ok… SO I technically never really sold to a person per say… BUT I kept really good papers on all the businesses I did sell to!”
The conversation started to dull out as the camera began to pan back and into the observation room with Frio, Ilo, and a rather small Mazic. Frio stood stoically silent, his paw held gently under his jaw, lost in thought. Ilo was typing away on the computer crosschecking every business Genseng sold out.
The Mazic took a step forward. His badge now clearly showing that he was the Chief of the Avalon City Police. “I know those businesses… Why would he be selling pets to…” The Chief huffed and stormed out of the observation room leaving Frio and Ilo slightly confused only to watch with an ounce of shock as the Police Chief walked into the interrogation room.
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?” Genseng recoiled away from the angry Chief as his lawyer was trying to figure out what was happening. “YOU HAVE BEEN SELLING HUMAN PETS AS FOOD TO HUMANS! YOU KNOW LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF HUMANS EVEN EAT ONCE-LIVE MEAT! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT! MOST HUMANS GET VIOLENTLY ILL AT THE THOUGHT OF IT AND STRAIGHT VIOLENT IF TRICKED INTO IT! IF THIS GETS OUT THERE WILL BE RIOTS!”
Genseng’s lawyer slowly looked to his client with a look of anger and despair plastered on his face. The sleazy man just kinda shrugged. “I didn’t make them buy it!”
“BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL THEM WHERE YOU GOT THE MEAT FROM DID YOU?”
“no?”
“OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T ‘CAUSE, HOW THEN, WOULD YOU GET RID OF YOUR UNWANTED ANIMALS?”
“HEY! I’VE GOT A GUY WHO TAKES THEM IN! I MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS HUMANE AND SAFE FOR CONSUMPTION AND ANYTHING UNWANTED GO TO THAT GUY! OK? NO MONEY TRANSACTION! … I think he ships them back to Earth or something. No unethical stuff… except maybe selling Once-live as Cloned… but that isn’t that bad! Humans only just considered Rabbits to be on par with dogs!”
The Chief of Police just stood there menacingly as the ever beautiful Tas asked a question. “Who is this man you give the animals to?”
Genseng slowly walked back to his seat. “I don’t have a name. Just some dude wearing the old face hiding masks and a Pleather trench coat. Kinda creepy and usually lets the fat Venlil do the talking, but they scratch my back I scratch thier’s.”
The screen faded to black before coming back to their conference room and joined by the Chief of Police. “So you think this individual is the same one behind the Sheep Operation?”
Ilo sat up in her chair. “It seems to meet up with his M.O. of undermining food production.”
Tas brought a pair of population maps up on their projector. “Just looking at the before and after, the invasive rabbit population was miniscule at best. We had been doing a great job of catching them faster than they could repopulate. At least until their population unpredictably exploded into the hundreds of thousands.”
She swapped out the maps for a single one that showed several areas circled in red. “DNA testing on the rabbits has shown that they aren’t spreading naturally. One population has no genetic relation to the others even though their areas overlap. It has to be someone introducing rabbits in waves to different locals.”
The Chief slowly shook his head. “Do we have any clues as to where the masked man is?”
Frio’s tail curled in delight. “Why yes! Yes we do! He has a meetup with my good buddy Genseng who desperately doesn’t want to spend the next forty years in jail.”
The small Mazic let out a low and insidious laugh “OH! I think I know where you are going with this. You have my support. Let's get this sting operation set up!”
In an instant the day flew by and night rose over the docks of Avalon City. Genseng drove down the roads and pulled around the corner of a large warehouse situated nearby. The sleazy man looked oddly calm. I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t his first time ratting.
Overlooking the docks from the warehouse was our team of heroes. Tas had set up a network of monitors and was observing the operation. Several disguised vans were parked nearby filled with Extermination Officers all biting to get a hold of their quarry.
Frio walked over and placed a paw on Tasamine’s wing, before speaking into a recorder. “Looking good Gen. Looks like I misplaced the paperwork on those charges. Get through this and I won’t have time to go looking for it!”
Gen let out a small chuckle. “Hey Frio… Do you miss when we were kids? Getting into trouble. Scraping enough money together to buy lunch when our parents couldn’t afford to feed us?”
Frio took a step back from the monitors. “You said that in a really weird way… but yeah. Just the two of us. Sometimes we were delinquents scamming someone out of five credits and sometimes we were the heroes helping people out. Guess we took different paths…”
The greasy Gojid leaned back in the driver seat of his van. “I- … I am kinda tired of living Frio… It’s just… One deal after another with barely enough money to get from one job to the next… Do- … Do you think I could get a job working with you guys?”
It almost looked like Frio was going to cry as his eyes watered up. “Well… we are a man down at the moment, but my team only hires experienced individuals. It would be hard work, but if you joined as an apprentice and applied yourself… I think you could make it.”
Genseng sat and fiddled with his paws for a few moments. “Even with my arrest record?”
“We are the Exterminators not the City Police. I doubt there isn’t a single one of us that hasn't done something that would get us blacklisted by them!”
Gen let out a light laugh. “Ah good point! They hired you! Well I’d- Wait. He's here.”
A long black limousine pulled up around the corner. Slowly and silently stopping beside them. Frio took a step back. “Alright everyone. It's go time. Gen, get ready to duck down if they open fire.”
With almost perfect unison every unmarked van and cruiser lit up with Yellow and Orange lights and started to race towards the Limo. But with a heart stopping ‘BWOOOOOM’ the Limo exploded into an inferno, sending metal flying through the docks at high speeds.
Gen’s voice screamed over the radio for a brief moment before falling silent.
The next sounds we heard were of a heart monitor. Frio sat at the bedside of what I assumed to be Genseng. His body was covered entirely in bandages, with tubes running into his head and arms. Wires tracked his vital signs and, while steady, didn’t look like they broadcasted good news.
Frio looked up to see Ilo leaning in the doorway. “The limo was automated. No one on board. Mask either knew it was a setup or intended to end Genseng one way or the other.” She slowly walked over to Frio and nuzzled the side of his head. “I talked with the Doctors. They think he’ll make it. Might be a few years, and he will have to learn how to do most things, but he will live.”
Ilo forced her way into awkwardly cuddling Frio. After a small moment of resisting he accepted the embrace and leaned back. “How are we on tracking down the leads?”
She somehow managed to wrap herself around Frio as she quietly responded. “The limo was a dead end. Everything was bought from scrap and assembled off-grid. Camera networks were wiped clean enough that even Tas couldn’t scrape something off of the hard drives. DNA results on the rabbits gave us enough to work with Earth and track down the suppliers on that side, but they were using Genseng as a scapegoat and intermediary for all of it. I don’t think he even realized that the man he was ‘giving’ rabbits to was the man that arranged for him to be able to buy them in the first place.”
Frio wrapped his arms around her. “So this whole operation was basically a money laundering scam with rabbits. They scarred him for life just to- to-” Tears ran down his cheeks as the pair embraced each other. The credits started to roll over the sounds of a heart monitor slowly pinging on. Gentle sobbing slowly faded away as the sound of claws on tile echoed through the speakers.
A rather portly Venlil was flanked on both sides by massive looking dogs. Sylvan’s Dad pointed out those where Karelian Bear Dogs. Bred to actually hunt one of Earth’s apex predators. The Fat Venlil, or Chublil as Sylvan said, walked into an immaculate office, where a man with a silvered mask and brown trench coat sat.
“Sir? Operation Clean House is over. The results are one Gojid launderer hospitalized. He is expected to recover in a few years. When the exterminators watching him clear out an agent will enter with an air-filled syringe and fake death by heart-attack. As you expected the last meetup was a sting operation. Police remain slightly aware of your presence.”
A robotic voice came from the man. “Good work Gavreg. Did you enjoy your trip to Earth?”
“Yessir. You were right. Bear meat is simply divine when prepared correctly.”
WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WOULD HE KNOW WHAT THAT TASTES LIKE?!?
“Glad to hear it. As for the Gojid, I think he’s gotten the message on what happens to people who cross us. Send him a normal fruit basket when he regains consciousness. Have it say… Sorry you got fired! Take a siesta!”
“Very well sir. Just to be clear, hold off on permanently silencing him?”
“Hrm… Yes. He was always amusing to work with.”
“Very well sir. If there is nothing else, I shall take my leave.”
The Fat Venlil turned and walked out of the room. Ending the episode and leaving the three of us sitting on the couch.
“You know Loural is going to throw a fit if she finds out we let both Sylvan and Henry watch this!”
I wasn’t proud but at least the humans screamed louder than I did.
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Special thanks to u/Dinomannick for the prompt
"I got a few ideas for the show. How about a few episodes have them dealing with invasive earth species on alien worlds, brought there for zoos, rich blokes pet, criminals, whatever. They have either catch or kill all of them before their establishing breeding populations and have the cane toad/rabbit problem like down-under. Think it might be interesting enough for future space TV?"
I hope this lived up to your expectations, and the bunny boom won't be relegated to just this episode either.
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Links are still broken cause reddit is more like brokeit... Will get around to fixing them soon, real life has been kinda hectic
​
Previous!

(Context) My gf and I would have been together for 3 years in October, and our 1 year anniversary of living together would be in august.
I met my girlfriend in college, we didn’t have any classes together but we had a mutual friend, and we hit it off almost immediately. So much so that she took me on an hour long road trip only a week after meeting me.
I asked her to be my girlfriend at the midpoint of the fall semester and we were inseparable from them on.
Fast forward a year or so and we’ve been dating a while, we decide to move in together. We figure that since she no longer wants to live with her mom, and neither of us can really afford to live in Austin Texas alone, we could move out here together.
That’s what we did.
This last year hasn’t been easy, roaches and fleas and living downtown have put a stress on things, but we always leaned on each other and pushed thru. We are a couple after all.
I’d like to mention that thru-out all of this we have been talking about our future, coming up with kid names and discussing where we will go next, together. As couples do. I mention this to emphasize that this relationship is v much serious to both of us.
Anyways,
About 4 months before our lease is up we decide to start looking for a new apt. We know Austin TX better now, we know where the things we like are at and I got both of us much better paying jobs so we know what we can afford.
We find and apply for this absolutely perfect apt. Double the space of our current place, newly renovated, huge patio, in room laundry, amenities out-the-wa-zoo. Living here would be “like a vacation every day” she liked to say.
To put it lightly, it was perfect.
We were all set to sign a 12 month lease here and work and enjoy the year together. Just existing with one another. I was literally the happiest I’ve ever been.
For about a month.
Summer kicks off, as do UNI applications.
She applies to 3 schools, 2 cool ones in Austin and one 2 hours north. She doesn’t get into either schools in Austin, but (as we knew she would) she receives a letter confirming her status for Texas state university. Almost 2 hours from where I am now.
“We have plans lined up for the next year, we’ll talk about this when fall rolls around” I foolishly thought.
“She wouldn’t do anything without consulting me 1st”I trusted.
“No matter what, I can count on her doing the right thing” I said.
I was wrong.
The day she starts her new job (that I got her), I pick her up from work, we drive home, I make dinner, and cuddle up to her on the couch to watch a movie, and she says the dreaded words.
“I need to tell you something”.
She then goes on to tell me that she got into uni, and what’s to take the classes in person, and not just any classes but 4 of them. She informs me that she does not want to move into the apt we lined up, that she is going to be moving into an apt alone at the college and not only that, but she has already signed a lease and leaves for uni at the end of the week.
My heart sinks of course.
We still have about 3 months on our current lease, we had been officially offered this new apt. And without considering how any of it makes me feel, she is abandoning me without so much as an opportunity to convince her otherwise.
I beg and plead but “she knows what she wants” and “her mind is made up”.
She leaves that Friday, while I’m not home, and doesn’t even say goodbye.
She says she would love to try a long distance relationship. And that all of her feelings for me are still there, that I need to be supportive and that anything else would be selfishness.
Anyone who has had there heart broken like this knows all you want is to be with that person again. But this has hurt me, deeply.
I feel abandoned, I feel she put her wants over our relationship’s needs, I feel she is selfish and uncaring for me.
She has hurt me.
But every time we talk (which is once or twice a day) she reassures me that she loves me and will be back to live with me in 2 years, and that I just need to be patient.
Idk if it’s fair to me to give her that kind of a free pass here.
I want to love her and miss her but I also want to be mad and angry for the emotional and financial burden she is putting on me, without so much as a warning.
Someone told me “don’t fall in love with someone twice, the second time ur falling in love with the memories not the person”.
I don’t know if I should break up with her and attempt to move on, for her selfishness and non caring about me and my feelings in this manner, or if it’s fair to wait for 2 years to be with her again.
I can visit her, she can visit me, and I trust her to stay loyal while not living with me. But idk if she deserves to be with me anymore.
I guess I just need an outsiders perspective.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

MIAMI

• Nicole Martin Is Summer Ready in Cheeky String Bikini (Nicole Martin Instagram/Bravo)

NEW JERSEY

• Teresa Giudice Apologizes to Andy Cohen After WWHL Appearance (Namaste B$tches podcast/Heavy)
• Teresa Giudice Shows Support For Ex-Husband Joe's New Business (Teresa Giudice Instagram/Bravo)

BEVERLY HILLS

• Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave Shares Update Following Recent Melanoma Scare (Teddi Mellencamp Instagram/Bravo)
• Check Out Lisa Rinna's Best Swimsuit Styles (Bravo Style & Living)

BRAVO

• Scheana Shay on What Producers Said About Pump Rules Reunion Bombshell, Why Raquel Will Quit Show, Plus She Addresses Raquel Pregnancy Rumors (The Kyle & Jackie O Show/Reality Blurb)
• Lala Kent shows off her plump pout after getting her filler touched up and claps back at critics: 'What my face is poked with does not affect you' (Lala Kent Instagram/Bravo)
• Vanderpump Rules Stars Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney Are Opening Sandwich Shop in West Hollywood (WEHO TIMES)
• VPR Alum Jax Taylor ‘Didn’t Like’ Lisa Vanderpump’s Behavior at the Season 10 Reunion (Scheananigans podcast/Heavy)
• Derek Hough: "Ariana's perfect for 'DWTS'... story fits show's formula" (TMZ exclusive)

LAGOS

• Deola Art Alade wins first AMVCA for 'The Real Housewives of Lagos' (pulse.ng)

Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• VPR S10E16 🍸
• VPR S10E16 - "Pumped Up Edition" 🍸
• RHONJ S13E16 🍝

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

Hello,
I am a 27 year old Keralite, currently living in Hyderabad. As in most Indian households with a girl in late twenties, my parents are driving me insane with marriage proposals. And then I threw the CF clause at them and now they want me to find someone myself 💀
Like, your whole life you have been threatened with being disowned if you dared to date and find love yourself. And now suddenly it's all, why don't you find a person yourself?? Why haven't you found someone yet? How can we tell you don't want kids in an arranged marriage set-up 🙄🙄
So here I am. Finally putting myself out there, hoping to find a partner with similar ideals to share my life with.
Because I always expected the arranged marriage set-up, I have no clue on how to do this. So if anyone dares to dm despite this massive red flag, enter at your own risk (lol)
Now that I have set the context, here are some details about myself and what I am looking for in a partner.
I am 5'4. My MBTI is INTP. Recently got diagnosed with mild ADHD which frankly explained a LOT!!
While I might appear a cynic at first glance, I am honestly a romantic at heart and definitely hope to find love (ironic I know).
I am a post graduate in English Literature but work in a corporate. Financially independent and would always prefer to stay that way.
I enjoy reading, writing and watching shows on OTT platforms. I learnt Mandarin for a few years so I also watch a lot of shows in the language for fun.
I also enjoy watching cringe shows and movies with friends and laughing at them.
As for music, I do love Bollywood songs but also listen to a lot of Taylor Swift, The Weekend, Sam Smith, Måneskin, and a lot of other mainstream pop artists. I like k-pop and occasionally listen to that as well.
Yes, I am a feminist. Also an ally for LGBTQIA.
Respect is the first and most important thing I look for in a partner. I do not need you to agree to all my views. But respect mine like I will respect yours. And please be honest and just don't gaslight me. It has happened way too many times in the past with friends that now I can pick it up easily and I will run the other way so fast.
I am non-vegetarian and would prefer a partner who is one. But it's not a deal breaker.
I am a social drinker. Smoking is a no-go for me though.
I am not religious but my family is Hindu. I honestly don't care about what your religion is but it might be easier if you are a Hindu because it will be a major struggle with my family otherwise. Also I don't mind if you are religious, as long as you don't try to impose it on me.
Age range: between 27-33. I don't mind LDR. Initially I wish to have the time and space to get to know you as a friend before we think of dating. I would prefer talking on dm's here and getting to know each other first. And as I mentioned before, I am new to this, so I will need time.
If any of these things resonated with you, then do drop me a dm.
I am not very optimistic about this but we all gotta start somewhere. If you have made it thus far in my long essay, I hope you all having a nice Sunday!
If I missed any details, let me know and I will edit this post.

Word is out that Eric Ulis, the organizer of Cooper Con, is breaking off his relationship with the Kiggins Theater in Vancouver, WA and moving his yearly gathering to a new venue on the east side of Seattle. The price has also been lowered a bit, from a hundred bucks to $74.
Still in the early stages of planning, there is no Guest Speaker or Program List announced as of yet, but Ulis is offering Early Bird Tickets at the website below.
For the record, I would only attend this event on a specific invitation from Mr. Ulis himself, and it's pretty doubtful I would get that. (*smiles*) And if I did get such an invite, I wouldn't be paying to attend. Gas from where I live to Seattle is expensive enough already. What I think Ulis might want to consider is inviting Cooper researcher Bruce Smith to fly up and attend. Smith went back to New York state a while back to settle his mother's estate and has been absent from Cooperland ever since, as least as far as I know. He would be a good name for the Guest Speaker list. Much better than anything I could offer. I haven't spoken publicly on the case since 2013 or so. Internet doesn't count.
The picture below is from my time as an organizer for the Auburn (WA) Good Old Days Festival. They would give me the keys to the theater and the staff to use...for three days every second weekend of August. Mostly I just passed out free bottled water and snacks and ran classic sci fi movies all weekend. I got this privilege for five straight years, until they moved the Festival from downtown Auburn to Les Gove Park. I will always be grateful.
https://preview.redd.it/cl31fgcjjl2b1.jpg?width=322&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8b395b7d1916bb265f8f2939315b3bfddfc0a43
https://cooperconfun.com/products/coopercon-2023-early-bird-tickets
NOTE: Ulis is also offering a program this year he calls 'Summer of D.B. Cooper'. That is a bit more complicated, but the details are here: https://cooperconfun.com/products/summer-of-db-cooper?pr_prod_strat=use_description&pr_rec_id=7642242d4&pr_rec_pid=8264972599589&pr_ref_pid=8264949432613&pr_seq=uniform