Dockside charlie's near me
2023.06.03 14:25 nnnnnnnbbbbbb Success Story!
I have 4 dogs. One is reactive to people he doesn’t know (as in tries to nip and growls). One is mildly reactive to dogs while he is on a leash (barking and lunging, not in an aggressive way, but still not great either.)
My dog who is reactive to people he doesn’t know, grew up in a cage his whole life. I adopted him at 7 years old and he was just terrified of the world around him. He would bite peoples pants leg or just generally growl at anyone who came near him. I have been introducing him to people and making sure to watch his triggers and he seems way happier. He hasn’t growled at anyone in almost two weeks. I just feel like he doesn’t have the fear that a person is going to hurt him. He now enjoys seeing my friends when they come over and even goes to sit near them. I still watch him closely and anyone who comes to my house knows about his issues and what to watch out for, but it feels good that he doesn’t cower away in his cage and is happy to get treats from my friends and family.
My other dog, I have had for 5 years. Got him as a puppy. I lived in a really remote area so didn’t really get to socialize him when he was a puppy. I started to notice that he would bark and lunge when he saw other dogs. It seemed like it genuinely stressed him out. We moved to a bigger house in a suburb area with a large yard. My dog are able to run free and have plenty of space to run and play. We also have play dates with other dogs (he is only reactive when on a leash). I stopped walking him because he seemed stressed and constantly on alert. Yesterday, I just felt like maybe he wanted a walk so we went for a walk. We encountered so many dogs and he just sat and ignored them. He remembered the training I gave him even after a year of not using it. When he pooped and I went to scoop it, he sat next to me and waited patiently. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dog coming so I tried to hurry and braved myself for the worst. He saw the other dog, looked back at me and continued waiting. I was absolutely floored! No barking or lunging. It was amazing.
I don’t know why I am posting this but it feels good knowing that my dogs aren’t feeling that constant anxiety anymore.
submitted by nnnnnnnbbbbbb
to reactivedogs [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:24 ArtFlorentyna Understanding how our own emotions work will also help us deal with our children's emotions when they arise.
I am going to share another article here, because truly understanding this concept has been a huge life saver and help for me in everything that I do, and especially in helping my kids when their emotions arise:
Growing up in a narcissistic family environment can make it challenging for survivors to disconnect from a constant state of defense and reactivity. Learning to understand and control one’s emotions may feel like a whole new mountain to climb.
Your upbringing may have made it difficult for you to recognize and express your feelings, as well as to calm yourself down when you’re feeling upset. The inability to process your emotions can also leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and like you lack control over your actions.
It’s possible that you are still operating under survival mode.
However, there is a way to understand and make sense of your feelings. By learning about how your emotions are processed, how triggers work, and how feelings work, you can regain control over your reactions and regain a sense of balance.
Emotions are a natural and normal part of being human. They provide valuable information about what is good, what is bad and what is dangerous. They are designed to alert us to immediate dangers or rewards and are a primitive instinct that exists within us for the purpose of our survival. Emotions manifest physically, and can be detected or measured. For example, when you experience an emotion, you may get a high heartbeat, you may sweat, your blood pressure will rise, and you may shake.
Feeling fear when encountering a pack of wolves while taking a walk alone in the forest is useful. In this example, fear alerts us to an immediate danger. Fear makes sense and is doing what it’s supposed to do.
Feeling disgust when being forced to interact with a person who is the source of your pain and trauma also makes sense. Disgust is essentially telling you: Toxic person alert. Do not go near. Your body is giving you a warning.
Dr. Paul Ekman’s Model of Universal Emotions
There are six basic emotions that are universally recognized across cultures: anger, fear, joy, contempt, disgust, and sadness.
The 6 Universal Emotions
This emotion is characterized by feelings of frustration, irritability, and aggression. It may be triggered by a perceived threat, injustice, or when you are blocked from doing something. The associated behavior may include assertiveness, confrontation, and the desire to take action.
This emotion is characterized by feelings of anxiety, nervousness, and apprehension. It may be triggered by a perceived danger or threat, and the associated behavior may include fleeing, hiding, or freezing.
This emotion is characterized by feelings of happiness, contentment, and pleasure. It may be triggered by positive experiences or events, and the associated behavior may include smiling, laughing, and expressing excitement.
This emotion is characterized by disdain, superiority, and disgust. It may be triggered by behaviors or actions that are perceived as beneath one’s own standards, and the associated behavior may include eye-rolling, sneering, and a dismissive attitude.
This emotion is characterized by feelings of revulsion, distaste, and abhorrence. It may be triggered by something that is perceived as dirty, vile, or dangerous, and the associated behavior may include wrinkling the nose, gagging, and avoiding contact.
This emotion is characterized by feelings of sorrow, disappointment, and despair. It may be triggered by loss, rejection, or disappointment, and the associated behavior may include crying, withdrawing, and seeking comfort.
We Can’t Not Feel Emotions. That Is Not Possible. We Must Learn to Work with Them.
Emotions can be powerful and can drive us to act impulsively. Because of this, they can also hinder our ability to focus on long-term solutions that require careful processing and consideration of various sources of information. For example, you may feel angry at a boss for giving you extra work on a Friday afternoon, but if you act on that emotion and express your anger in the heat of the moment, it could lead to negative consequences such as getting fired for disrespecting an authority figure. In this case, it may be better to let the emotion pass and instead work on a long-term plan, such as finding a better job or organizing a meeting to address the issues.
Furthermore, it is possible that after gathering all the facts, you may have found out that the boss’s wife was in the hospital, and out of all the employees, the big boss trusted you the most to get the job done. While your anger zoomed in on your inability to leave work at a decent time on Friday night, it did not have all the information needed to see the situation as a whole. Acting on your anger would not only have cost you your job, but also would have damaged your professional reputation.
In the heat of the moment, our emotions may not allow us to see that there are other ways of solving problems or that there are other factors unknown to us at play. It is important for us to learn to control our impulses and ask questions first in order to gain full clarity of a situation. We are always responsible for our actions, and our actions always have consequences as they affect the world around us. Clear communication is crucial, and it is always our responsibility to try and understand what it is that we are dealing with before choosing how we will react to it.
Think of emotions as if they were like little storms inside our head that can make it hard to think straight.
You may find yourself in many situations where you must allow for these little storm to pass before taking an action, so that you may see the bigger picture under a clear blue sky.
Our emotions can also misinterpret a situation, such as feeling fear when watching a horror movie or being happy around someone who is not good for us. We can feel fear even though we are physically safe in a movie theater. We can feel joy when we receive a text from a person who has ghosted us for a week. (This article is long, continue reading here if you are interested: https://artflorentyna.com/how-do-i-control-my-emotions-after-surviving-a-narcissistic-family-system/
submitted by ArtFlorentyna
to BreakNarcCycleParent [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:24 SnooEpiphanies1003 idk what to think or do?
Idk what to think, or do?
It is currently 6:15 in the morning for me, I have not slept because this is really bothering me and idk what to do. So last night I told my girlfriend i was going to workout and she said she was as well, so yk i do my workout and i don’t text her, so i finish then i hop on my game and i play with my friend. So we’re playing and still i have no reply from her, so from time to time i would check to see if she read it or if i’m on delivered, mind you we both worked out late, i worked out at 12 which would be 1 am for her, so i check and nothing, okay cool i’m not stressing. Couple min go by I check again but this time idk why but i clicked on her info and it showed me her location. her location was at work at nearly 2 am, mind you her work closes at 10 pm. So i’m thinking this is wrong so i go back and click it again, no she’s still there. I go back and forth just to see if it’s my phone then it turns into her still being at work but her location being live? whatever that means? and it stays like that for about 5-10 min? then suddenly she’s back at home and it says she’s live again so she’s at home. So now i’m overthinking all of this and a part of me wants to think maybe it was just the location thing being laggy or my phone being weird because no way she’d be at work at 2 am??????? whatever so i know she could tell something was up but i don’t wanna tell her and be like “oh hey i was looking at your location and you were at work at 2 am what were you doing?” i think that’s weird on my part? maybe i shouldn’t say anything at all. and when we talked on facetime she gave me all of the drama that’s been going on and i’m like no way she went out right? plus she never mentioned it? so i feel like i’m going crazy here and i don’t know what to do!?!?! my friend told me to check her location again at 1am and see if she goes there again but to not say anything and wait.
submitted by SnooEpiphanies1003
to LongDistance [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:23 kaceyyy17 How do you declined/get rid off someone who take no for an answer??
Hello! We just finished our first week of training, required for my first job. On fourth day, one of my colleague started making advances to me and insisting that we should walk together since I live near onsite. I opted to walk after my shift as a form of physical activity and that's the only time I can get expose to sunlight. At first, he offered it in which I find it weird since we're not that really close. We live in the same city and he reasoned out that he have two ways to get home and one of those route is almost the same as mine. I declined the offer bc he's a man and I don't know him personally other than we're wavemates. He did again the next day and I said that he's really making me uncomfortable. He said maybe in the future I could allow him to walk with me or magsabay pauwi. He even said once he got his motorbike he offered to take me home. How do you declined/get rid off someone who take no for an answer??
P.S while walking a while ago I was constantly looking at my back. I take different routes on my way home just in case he followed me :'((
submitted by kaceyyy17
to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:23 zeravash Aram update needed!
Hi all, even if the game is not new anymore, is still one of the best game to play to relax in the evening. A lot of people is still playing and the queue for the aram is superfast, showing that this is still the favourite game for lot of people. Sometimes I’m playing normal match or ranked but this is asking for a lot of concentration and effort, so i prefer the ARAM mode for relaxing and having fun, and i’m so glad that developers decide to make a permanent mode.
I think that Aram is a mode with a lot of potential. I believe that this mode was added after, just to test it, but now that is a success and so many people are playing it i believe that it needs some adjustements to make it even more epic and enjoyable: ADDING A FAST RECAP FOR WHO DOESN’T WANT TO READ ALL:
- Like in league of legend the introduction of a hero swap system
- specular type of hero between the teams eg. 0 healers both teams, 0 tank both teams and so on
- only different hero pickable, not anymore 3 li ming 2 kealtas etc.
- better matchmaking even for the aram
- being able to choose the skin and mount
- beeing able to vote for surrend
And here the list with the explanation:
- The chance of switching the character with someone of the team during the hero selection (or having 10 additionals seconds after the aram countdown reach the 0 for the switch) - like in league of legends aram are part of the games, the difference is that in lol you cannot choose between 3 choices but you can reroll up to 2 times, and u can even swap the hero if someone doesn’t want that. I know that this requires a bit of development but it will be AWESOME to keep the choice between 3 heroes allowing the swap with someone of the teams that maybe really want to play that hero (of course after the approval of the owner of the hero)
- More balanced teams: By playing many and many arams we realized that sometimes it happens that if the healer is not pickable for a team is not pickable even for the other teams. The good thing is that the developer increased even the char in that case that can autoheal themself, balancing the game. The problem is that this is happening only with the healers, it happened for example that our team didnt have tank and the enemy teams got 2 tank. Putting bruisers in the team is not the same that having a tank! So i suggest that the developers will do the same as it is for the healers with tank
- Balancing with ranged and close range characters: it happens that enemy teams get 2 (even 3) li ming making the aram a living hell for the opposite team. I suggest to set a limit for each team to have only one of each character (not type) to avoid this, like: 1xchromie, 1xazmodan, 1xli-ming, 1xguldan, 1xkaelthas, 1xfalstad, 1xjaina, 1xkaeltuzad, 1xjunkrat and so on
- better matchmaking: while playing with a friend that sadly got problem of connection, he got reported many time and he got even silenced. When we are playing with him now, even if he is not silenced anymore we get ppl in team that are silence aswell or that are going immediately afk , like if the algorithm of matchmaking knows his situation and is matching with similar people, while should be totally random
- skin and mount choice in aram: this is not really important as the previous points but it would be a nice to have :)
- beeing able to vote for surrend : this in particular for the new game mode where all have the same pick and lot of ppl can't stand this and simply go AFK
I really hope that someone of the developers will read this thread, let me know if you (the community) wants to add more points, i believe that many people will have my same suggestions. Thanks for reading , and i’m really hoping to see this changes in the future!
submitted by zeravash
to heroesofthestorm [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:22 anxious_axolotl3 My opponent has 30 cities....
For context, this was the best and most fun game i've ever had, the sovjets were my main opponent we've been at war for centuries, and I was very glad when the indians helped me finally take them down in a 2-front war.... But now I'm at war with them, they have taken over most sovjet cities, and the army output with 30 cities is incredible....
i'm just getting my arse kicked... I can't go over 11 cities, so i try to gift cities to my allies and vassals, but they are technologically far behind, and can not pull their weight yet.... how can the indians be stable with so many cities? Is this a bug? The only way I see to still win this, is to just nuke all their cities. I have been occupying islands near their borders for that exact purpose. they don't have any nukes to retaliate, so it would be simple.... but i feel like evil russia, and i'd rather win without creating a wasteland. Anybody have any tips? [VIP, ENC + CSP]
submitted by anxious_axolotl3
to HumankindTheGame [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:21 AppearanceInner3855 For those curious about partners on the lower end of the spectrum me and my pwBPD broke up yesterday here’s my story and thoughts
To be honest I thought It would be helpful for myself and for others to share my story of being in a long distance relationship with my gf having BPD over the past 6months.
We met through Twitter and I was in a “self improvement mindset” for the past year or so she was funny and I was never going to dm her or anything since I had no interest long story short she initiated and we became friends, through being friends I realised she was “wife material” genuinely even after breaking up sure she has her flaws but she’s genuinely a very good person and very open about how she’s feeling (ofc it took some time to get to that stage) she values truth and honestly a lot.
We were basically together nonstop playing games or video calling/voice calling and sleep calling outside of when I had work. Essentially we spent 4straight months together damn near 24hr days, it was great throughout these months she didn’t split on me we did argue but it was always for the same root cause which was texting and her just misinterpreting my texts and it would be cleared up after and basically that was the idealisation/obsession phase but naturally it didn’t last.
So next came the splitting and she said she hated me in a pretty like open and respectful way she was being honest and vulnerable with me but we were texting so naturally I didn’t handle it the best and things were misinterpreted but the next 2-3 weeks the idealisation stopped I wouldn’t call it devaluation but I guess it probably was except she didn’t devalue me or say anything truly hurtful the main difference was no bombardment of compliments and she was more irritable nothing intolerable though.
So now comes the reason for our breakup she basically met another guy at a new job she got since I got fired from my job when I met her (just a part time one anyway) as I was staying up late and late to work as a result then when I finally started looking for a job so did she. So she made a friend at work and fast forward he asked for her insta and they started to hang out I knew this was going on despite her not communicating this to me. What she said was that she didn’t feel like doing anything and wanted space so I knew it means space to do things with someone else since I’m all she had and a couple long distance friends.
So surprise surprise she thought they could just be friends but he obviously just wanted to have sex and when she found that out she was incredibly sad since she finally had a friend she could do stuff with. This leads to her respectful and honest reasoning for us breaking up she confessed what they did together and how they drank (which she has never done before) and she said 2 reasons for breaking up the first was essentially she feels like she values drugs over out relationship and if another guy came along that she had stuff in common with and asked to do drugs she wouldn’t be able to turn it down and since some drugs like X can make you feel amazing she would be susceptible to being taken advantage of and it wouldn’t be fair on me. Her final reason was that when spending time with that guy she realised she isn’t built for long distance relationships and would much prefer being together physically and the distance is too tough.
The break up was very peaceful and respectful and just handled correctly, I said I didn’t want to break up but will respect her decision things like long distance are impossible if you aren’t on the same page. To be honest it was a huge weight off my shoulders and I didn’t actually feel saddened by our separation but relieved I’m definitely a weird case I’m never saddened by separation which is probably why I even got with her in the first place knowing she had bpd and we are long distance,I have deep empathy and respect for the large majority who have dealt with people on the severe end of the spectrum wishing everyone the best and a stable recovery.
Before the relationship I had so many things I wanted to do so now I’m going to do them all looking forward to living life again but definitely won’t make the same decisions when it comes to relationships I don’t regret anything it happened for a reason and was a learniNg experience for myself it’s possible things would have been different if not for the distance but yea good luck to everyone.
submitted by AppearanceInner3855
to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:20 Seahorse_12 I (M30) took part in a paid study at my local university that studied the affects of different diets on abdominal weight gain. I’ve put on nearly 115 pounds in 1.5 years. The money was worth it, but wondering if they took it too far. Having some regrets.
are some pictures and videos taken by me or others over the course of the last year and a half.
My local university was conducting a medical study on the affects of different diets on weight gain. I signed up and was chosen and the potential money to be made was very appealing. The first two months of the study involved simply eating at a calorie surplus on a premade diet to see how it affected my body’s weight gain. After taking measurements after these initial two months, if my body’s measurements represented any kind of high percentile outlier, I would be selected to potentially continue for the entire 1.5 year study focused on a particular area of the body. Of all of the participants, my abdominal girth was at the highest percentile ratio of girth compared to weight/height, so they selected me to participate focusing on abdominal weight gain and to see how severe it could be.
They paid me about $3,000 a month and had all of my food paid for as I followed a specific premade diet plan that changed every 2 or 3 months to study the affects these specific diets had. Some were dairy heavy, carb heavy, specific types of meats only, mixing in alcohol consumption, specific supplements, etc. I’m incredibly busy in my life with work right now and having a free premade meal plan plus so much extra cash was too good to pass up. So I decided to continue for the entire 1.5 year study.
Fast forward to now, having finished the entire trial, I am starting to have some serious regrets. I’ve put on nearly 115 pounds since last January and I never expected the results to have me looking like this. Honestly, I think even the researchers themselves were really shocked by my result. My ratio of abdominal girth to height/weight is at the highest percentile of the study, their entire student body, and anyone who has participated in the study before. I gained most all of the weight in my torso, which they are severely attributing to genetics and simply the effectiveness of the tailored diets they had me following.
I obviously look ridiculous now. I haven’t even been able to keep up with buying a new professional wardrobe for work (as you can tell my the pictures and videos linked). I was gaining an average of 7 pounds a month, some months being just 3 pounds and some being an entire 15 pounds in a month. So many things are difficult… I break a sweat going up one flight of stairs, I can hardly put my shoes or socks on, fitting into restaurant booths is nearly impossible, getting in and out of my car or off the couch takes preparation. People stare at me in stores or on the street. I had a homeless guy ask me “Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Are you pregnant, dude?” once. My coworkers are polite but make comments here and there.
I haven’t seen my family since early in the study when the weight gain wasn’t very noticeable. I’m seeing them in 2 weeks for a reunion, and I cannot even imagine what they are going to say. I didn’t tell them I took part in this because I knew they wouldn’t approve, but now I wish I had because how am I going to prepare them or explain to them why I look like this now and how it happened so fast. I’m worried to fit on the plane on the way there and having to travel. I’m so nervous to see them. And honestly would like any genuine opinions of whether or not I’m blowing this out of proportion or if they are genuinely going to be shocked. Maybe I can hide it better if I find the right clothing.
I really regret doing this now for the most part and hope I’m able to start reversing it as soon as possible. Thanks for letting me vent. Happy to also answer any questions on what I learned nutritionally and what the different diets did and how they affected me too.
submitted by Seahorse_12
to keto [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:19 Lenore8264 Why do so many Malayalis have dogs chained up outside their homes these days? Is it a new trend?
I'm a Malayali (25f) but I live in Rajasthan with my family. I speak Malayalam well, but can only read a little and can't write at all. I was mostly raised outside Kerala so please forgive me if I say something offensive.
I visited Kerala a week ago for the first time in four years. The last time I visited was in 2019. Then the Covid pandemic happened, and I got busy.
During this time's visit, we visited a lot of old family friends. I'm from Kannur side, and we visited friends in Kasaragoad, Kozhikode, Thrissur etc . What I noticed was that a lot of people had dogs. In fact, EVERYONE we visited had a dog. Even my uncle and my aunt from my mother's side had a dog. It was bizarre. Everytime we visited a home, a dog was outside the house inside a tiny cage, with it's leg chained, just barking his head off.
And the thing is, all of these dogs were VICIOUS. They kept on barking and snarling at us, and at one home, I tried to pat the dog (It was an Indian Spitz, I think) the owner warned me that the dog bites and not to go near it. Huh??? Why keep it then?
I'm pretty sure no one had dogs the last time I visited. Don't get me wrong. I love dogs and want one myself, but what bothers me is that these dogs are kept chained inside cages. When I asked the owners whether they bring the dogs inside, most of them said that the dogs aren't allowed in because they dirty the house and that the hair gets everywhere. This made me really sad. Why get a dog to keep it inside a cage all day?
Most of the dogs were also so aggressive and untrained. I don't understand why this has suddenly become a trend. I just wanted to know if anyone else has noticed this? Oh, and catfishes and guppies are also in every home for some reason. How did this become a trend?
submitted by Lenore8264
to Kerala [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:18 WispyWoods Can you break in manual instead of stepping down gears when braking completely?
Manual gear shift car. When breaking until fully stopping, or nearly fully stopping, I was taught that you need to step down the gears one by one (or skipping if you're on 5/6) until you are on 2nd gear. If I'm on a downward slope for example, what's stopping me from just releasing into manual from let's say 4th gear, and just only using the brake in order to stop? I know this will take a heavier toll on the brakes in the long run, but I'm asking why this isn't a thing people do. This may be a dumb question, but I'm still learning to drive so asking things like this is better than guessing.
If you need a better explanation of what I'm asking just tell me.
submitted by WispyWoods
to driving [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:17 DaftDayDown I made bad choices y'all...
Not that I think this was SA, but does talk about sex.
I matched with this guy who was coming into town from a neighboring major city. I realized I probably agreed to a hookup and so I messaged him saying I wasn't really interested in that. I'll be real, I'm very inexperienced, kinda asexual idk it's just not how I think, everything goes over my head tbh.
He said that's fine. The day comes he says he wants to meet at this bar downtown. Now... My city has had quite a few shootings. At the bars downtown. Knowing my luck today would be one of those days... Also my city is one of the top cities in the nation for police violence (lol) so I said hey y'know I'm fine if you want a low-key night and you can come over.
Yeah I don't think I knew what I was probably implying.
He said sure, came over. I have 3 pets, 2 cats and a dog. One cat is gone at first sight of people, that's who she is. Second cat is a 17 yr old senile grandma that doesn't care about a damn thing so long as you don't take her spot on the couch. My dog is a puppy who is a bit shy but loves everybody and wants pets.
Yeah my 17 yr old cat looked at him when he came in, hopped off the couch, starting yelling at us, then hid. My puppy wouldn't even get near him, instead sitting on the other side of me the entire time giving major side eye.
Should've trusted their judgment.
I mean, I agreed. I don't fucking know why. He was drinking fucking disgusting alcohol and idk if he threw up somewhere in my apartment or slightly on me or wtf because something smells bad and it's all over my blankets. I took a shower and I think it's on me still.
I want to throw up too.
Uguguguguguh. I made bad decisions.
I have paid laundry downstairs and shits expensive and I think I'm throwing everything I own that he even went near in it. Probably also going to go ahead and shampoo the carpets just in case.
submitted by DaftDayDown
to CPTSD [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:16 sagecat_eliza Please help - young relative had an extreme meltdown at me after I told him off for punching his little sister and I need an outside opinion on how I handled it
Hello, I’m 21, recently diagnosed autistic and have been learning a lot about autism as a result since September. Before me, no one in my family acknowledged mental disorders and were very ableist.
Context: My young nephew was diagnosed as autistic very young, with PDA. He’s now nearly 10 but has a very troubled home life (one parent is emotionally unavailable and the other is mentally ill. They’ve also separated) He has a younger sister and she appears to be neurotypical. She, however, is becoming a physical and verbal punching bag for my nephew and it breaks my heart how used to it she is already. The family allow his behaviour because they don’t know enough about autism and don’t have the time or energy to learn more about it. The whole situation is very distressing but I don’t have a good relationship with either parent and as I’m not a parent myself they don’t value my opinion on things. I feel helpless and just do my best on the odd occasions I do see them.
The story: We were playing a game and he was being very good and kind for a while. She’s a bit slower as she’s younger and I can see it frustrates him sometimes. Eventually he punches her on the back, hard, and calls her stupid. Despite her not reacting I comfort her and tell him he can’t play anymore because of that. After some back and forth he is adamant that he is still playing, I can’t tell him otherwise and she deserves it because she’s his sister and she’s stupid. I’m doing my best to calmly, but assertively teach him morals and the importance of not being violent without any aggression on my end. I hope some of it went in but in the moment he was certainly holding his pride.
I took her inside to play and he followed us wherever we went. When I thought he was playing with his dad we snuck off upstairs to finish the game and I barricaded the door just incase he came up.
Well, he did. And this is where I don’t know if I did more harm than I did good. He kept trying the door for ages, demanding I let him in. We continued the game, completely ignoring him. In the moment, I just wanted to give her my full attention. She always gets overlooked because he is more direct in his attention seeking (I don’t mean that badly, all children need attention) so I wanted some time with her undisturbed so she knew she was worthy of undivided attention. However he was getting increasingly distressed outside and I was incredibly torn on what to do.
After what felt like 15/20 minutes his dad finally came up in which he was apparently extremely rageful and biting, head butting and punching him. He got bundled into the car to calm down but yelled at me that he hated me and I’m stupid when I came outside with his sister.
Now, please if I handled this terribly I’d really appreciate being told in a nice way. I already feel terrible because the last thing I want to do is make things worse for either of them and I want to be a safe space for him in our difficult family system. I’m only young myself and trying my best but I need to know if I made mistakes so I can do better in the future.
submitted by sagecat_eliza
to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:16 r1Zero Struggling with getting older post-trauma.
I can't believe I'm writing this, but I am hoping that just getting it somewhere else other than my mind might be helpful.
In my early 20s, I was in a very abusive relationship and survived being raped by an acquaintance. The better part of the next decade was my life unraveling in every way a person could fathom. I didn't want to live. I gave up on everything, especially myself. I quit living and was essentially, a shell of a human being.
Over time, therapy, doctors, and the power of science and sheer stubborn spite? I was able to build a life for myself. It...is not always ideal, I still have trauma that I may never be able to fully heal from and depression along with anxiety still have huge places in my life, though I can handle it better now.
But, with each year that passes, I struggle the most near my birthday. I realize I essentially lost a decade of my life. Sure, I have overcome so, so, so much. But I hate that there's an entire ten years basically, that feels lost. It feels stolen. I know I could never get those years back and thinking about it really isn't doing me any favors. However, invasive thoughts are just that, invasive.
I wish I could make some kind of peace with myself about this very particular thing instead of struggling the closer it gets to my birthday every year and wishing so badly I could get those years back, turn the age dial back. Not the experience in life, but the number itself. I don't understand why I struggle so profoundly with this, but I do.
Mentally, some days I feel ancient as can be. Others I feel like time stopped emotionally around when I was raped. I have tried everything in the book to overcome and manage these feelings, but here I am, on Reddit after a night of insomnia running the show and now wishing vampirism was legit, because man, I'd be a pretty awesome immortal (Hey, gotta try to find the humor where I can, right). 🤣
All while telling strangers getting older physically while feeling stuck mentally crushes me for reasons I don't even understand.
Who knows maybe I'm not alone.
submitted by r1Zero
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:15 tomyoung201 Good pistols to run alongside a vsr10
I currently have a ssx23 and I'm realising it was a bad purchase as it is causing me near constant feeding issues. So I'm looking for a new pistol; something quiet and one I can stick a suppressor on. Any good ideas?
submitted by tomyoung201
to airsoft [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:14 Reasonable_Guess_311 Wait and see approach for umbilical hernia
I am a female aged 67. About three weeks ago i noticed a lump near my naval. It seemed to just appear all of a sudden. It’s not visible but can be felt when standing. I went to the doctor the next day and he said it’s the beginning of a umbilical hernia. My naval is not protruding and I’m not in any pain. He told me to he wasn’t recommending any treatment for now and to come back if I have pain or the lump starts growing. I had a colon resection a year and a half ago and this lump is close to the incision. Is this wait and see treatment the usual approach? If I need surgery to repair this it seems like sooner would be better. I would think he would at least send me for a CT scan to get a better idea of what’s going on. Any thoughts?
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to surgery [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:14 drinkermoth Bathtub to wall panel gap prior to resealing - too big?
Please could I have some advce?
I have noticed a gap in the sealant of my plastic bathtub and am preparing to reseal it. The gap is only on the righthand side of the taps. The gap gets wider when I'm in a full bath.
I popped the side panels off and raised the right leg near the taps about 1.5mm (see the picture with the original height marked in red pen)
I have attached pics of the gap after raising the leg with and without a full bat (plus person). I belive the gap is improved.
Is this a sufficient fix or is the gap still too big for me to be sealing over?
Am I safe to just raise 1 leg like this or should I be doing something else?
Any advice or comments are appreciated. I am a novice DIYer with a few home repairs under my belt but a lot to learn. Ive never resealed anything or worked with baths before.
The bathroom is about 2-3 years old, we had it put in but the installers were about a 6.5/10.
Location: North East, United Kingdom. House is about 1930s constructon.
submitted by drinkermoth
to HomeImprovement [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:13 UncutCoconut 28F GF thinking to buy a house with her mum instead of with me?
I’m 30M and my GF is 28F. We’ve been together for 2.5 years now and have lived together in a New Build rented flat for nearly 1.5 years. Before we moved here, she’s always been saying that she’s always wanted to part buy and part rent. We nearly ended up buying a house together after just 9 months of being together. All my friends and family said do not do it as it’s way too soon and too rushed. So I told her I think we should rent first and see how the relationship goes.
She listened to me and now we’ve been renting for 1.5 years. The terms of our flat is, we have to either move out by the end of the 5 years, or buy a share of anywhere between 25%-75%.
She’s currently going through a bad migraine issue and she’s been given a sick note to work part time instead of full time for 3 months. She’s so far done this and is happy working 3 days a week and wants to stick with it.
Now she’s wanting to rush to buy 25% of the flat because she says once she goes to part time, her pay slips will show less earnings and she won’t be able to buy. Plus she also says we are wasting money every month paying for rent when we could be putting that on the mortgage.
My problem is, I want to buy my mums council flat because they’re giving a huge discount of £127k as me and my mum have been living there for more than 20 years. Only issue is I’d get that discount after having it for at least 5 years. And with both flats, I can’t be a current homeowner, so I can only buy one.
My priority is to buy my mums flat, so after 5 years, I can make that £127k when I sell it. My GF doesn’t seem to want me to buy it as she says she also wants stability and wants me to buy our flat with her. Also because she’ll be going part time soon. And she knows I can’t buy both at once.
I’ve told her maybe she has to buy the flat herself but it seems unlikely that they’d give it to just her as she isn’t earning enough. After discussing with her, she knows she can’t get a big mortgage by herself so she sort of is pressuring to do it with me, even though I’ve been told to never buy with someone unless married. I still plan to buy my mums flat.
Today, she just spoke with her mum about it and her mum suggested they buy a house together to fix up, then sell on. My GF asked if I’ll be okay with that. A day before, I spoke with my mum about the issue, and asked if she could help me buy her flat, and help pay for the mortgage every month.
Difference is, my GF’s mum earns a lot of money. If they did buy together, my GF would probably pay 25% of it, and her mum pays 75% of both deposit and monthly mortgage payments. With my mums flat, it’s the other way around - I’ll pay 75%, she’ll pay 25% as she doesn’t work.
Is this a problem if this was to happen? Would it affect our relationship? She’s always wanted to do things with me but she thinks I’m letting her down now and she still wants a future with me, so she’s trying to find ways to buy a house anywhere before she goes part time and because she hates wasting money renting.
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to dating_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:12 Tiimmehh Account Banned
Received an email this morning saying my account has been banned for cheating. I've been playing FIFA for 10+ years and never experienced this issue, last night I played my FUT champs matches and ~70% of my opponents quit against me, I've got nearly 2000 games played this FIFA and finish minimum rank 3 in FUT champs. The only out of the ordinary thing I've done this past week is spend 2mil+ on gold players for the upgrade SBCs. I've never used cheats and the only reason I can think of me being banned is because my opponents quit out against me after going a few goals down. Already submitted my appeal and waiting for my response, but this is ridiculous.
submitted by Tiimmehh
to fut [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:12 Prof_Procrastinus world-map navigation
In many areas of the game, it can be extremely difficult to obtain location/map-context information while not actively staring at the full-screen world map. The map is mostly monochrome blobs with binary information; traversable or not. The mini-map also often feels claustrophobic.
I do appreciate the desire to create a desperate/personal/survival experience by limiting this type of information to a point/distance from the player but we're starved for info here. I haven't directly compared the amount of information conveyed by the mini-map in D3 but I hardly ever struggled there - it wasn't great but it was enough to not drive me mad.
Nearly all the directional information we get from the map is based entirely on PoI icons. While we're away from any icons on the map, the mini-map becomes practically useless.
The only compensation Blizz added for the reduction in information compared to D3 (dimming the environment/vignette/color-palette etc.) is the auto-pathing waypoint. It works for medium-long journeys but isn't useful for momentary decisions and is still hampered by having to set it in the full-screen map.
There's excellent contextual information in the portions of map that transition from one color to the next, based on ground color (snow/dirt/red sand etc.). Sadly that information only exists at the transition and there aren't that many in the world.
However it's accomplished, the solution should provide the player with quickly recognizable awareness of their location in the world, simultaneously on large (zone) and small (path/route) scales.
Solutions I believe it would go far enough, without upsetting any players, to negate the problem by "simply" (expertly) improving the map texture. If the colotexture/appearance of the map could provide more contextual information it would improve every situation. The mini-map would be far more useful relative to the full-screen map.
The first idea that comes to mind is utilizing the negative space on the map to provide more context without affecting the area we travel through. There are dozens of simple ways to do this and perhaps combining multiple techniques would provide substantial awareness. I'll go over some methods now.
The negative space must never be confused with the positive, so it can't simply be the texture of the environment or it would all blend together. Perhaps simply using additional colors/gradients to convey relative zone coordinates/portions, similar to the snow/dirt transition.
You could also try conveying general x/y coordinates using colors/icons to recognize at a glance along the bordeperimeter of the mini-map. It's hard to imagine how accurate/useful this would be overall.
I also hold the opinion overlay maps detract from the overall game by redirecting focus from the game world to the map for easy recognition/efficiency. This behavior effectively turns it into a 2-dimensional game with a dot (you) running between the lines. I'd much rather be navigating and appreciating the artful environment/enemies, while tracking threats more carefully. Despite that, I'd prefer overlay maps to the emergent behavior of spamming the map button between actions, sometimes 3-6 times in a few seconds. Hopefully, overlays aren't necessary.
Anecdotes and additional considerations With enough movement speed in D3, (combined with the lack of fear of dying on the given difficulty) I always resorted to staring directly at the mini-map which provides less information than the game world but at a much greater distance from the character (?double?). This turned D3 into a monochrome 2-D game of avoiding walls and finding doors, at a fraction of the screen space. I rarely played this way, relative to my total play time, but It was certainly faster and more efficient. This should be avoided but it's not necessarily bad if it happens at the extremes - preferentially less often than D3 and others. The world map flickering meta is a horrible experience. Players didn't need to check so frequently in D3 because the cartoonish lighting and tile-sets were easier to navigate. Fans cried for darkness and now we can't read where to go on the fly. It's all the more irritating that opening the map prevents character movements/actions, sometimes resulting in truly jarring stutter-step behavior, especially while approaching forks in paths. It's harmful to the experience but also intentional behavior compensating for rudimentary navigational tools.
I was disgusted by this experience when I played during the server slam but didn't spend the time evaluating why it was so offensive to me until today. All the early-access players I've seen, behave the same way and I've heard the same complaint repeatedly. Perhaps the first time I heard it vaguely referenced by someone other than myself, was in Rhykker's review. He acknowledged that he relied on opening the world map considerably more than in D3 and he speculated it could be a result of the mini-map being smaller.
Without giving my opinion on the level of effort that went in to the current map texture, *cough*, I do wager Blizzard created dozens of iterations of map textures. They might even already have one that accomplishes everything I described but instead they implemented the most minimal one they could agree upon to avoid overstimulating/confusing new players, particularly because almost everyone is currently a new player. It's generally the Blizzard way, to start low and offer more in reaction.
3rd-party modders are probably trying everything they can to replace/add maps/navigation functions and Blizzard might just unofficially let them handle it. However, anyone who's familiar with D3 modding already knows where that leads... It's not very competition-friendly to say the least.
I still haven't heard anyone discuss why this behavioexperience is emerging through play so I figured I'd suggest myself. There are many more important aspects of the game to improve in my opinion but there's a disturbing lack of awareness about this issue everywhere I look. Even if nothing I've typed accomplishes change, at least someone in the community will have gained an understanding.
submitted by Prof_Procrastinus
to diablo4 [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:11 QuarterEuphoric6693 Is my gf behaviour a red flag or am I being too sensitive?
Id been dating this girl for nearly a year. A couple of months after we started dating it was her birthday I sent flowers to her workplace on her birthday as a nice surprise and took her for dinner a few days later where I presented her with a gift that she had mentioned on her twitter feed that she liked.
My birthday was nearly 8 months later and we’d had some ups and downs but I’d gotten her a bag for Christmas and was always generous when we went out paying mostly for meals and drinks. Although we did split other means too.
I would also add that we had an argument about gestures whereby I was being taken to a very fancy restaurant for work. Few days before the dinner she kept sending me messages saying that it would be a good gesture if I took her along or had food sent over for her. I knew she was joking but she kept going on about it until I snapped and told her that gestures work both ways… she still didn’t get it and made a joke saying something like it’s thumb wars. I sent her a voice mail saying look I know you’re just joking but you literally went to Paris a month ago and didn’t bring me anything back despite me saying that I loved French wine. She bought the cheapest bottle she could find for 8-10 euros (her words) for us to share…
She apologised and we made up. But what made me upset was that she didn’t just get it and apologise she made it about her which she has done in the past. Prior to that she had messaged me saying that she’d watched a tv show about working in finance which is what I do. I sent her a funny video of me receiving an award and an old report I’d written to give her context about what I do given she was interested. She didn’t respond even just to say thanks I’ll take a look or whatever. Couple of days go by it was the weekend so I left it. Monday morning I sent her a message saying hello everything ok? She responded but didn’t mention my message regarding the video or report.
I sent her a voice message on WhatsApp telling her I was upset at her non response to my earlier message. She responded by saying that she’s rubbish at communication and emotion and apologising saying that she was waiting to come back regarding the video and report as she didn’t know what to say. This maybe should have been a red flag for my birthday…
So I was planning to go away for my birthday with friends but then didn’t and my gf asked if she could take me to dinner.
She was away the week before in Greece seeing her dad but we had agreed a date for my birthday diner not on the day itself but towards the end of that week.
Day of my birthday she texts me at noon all of my friends and family had texted or called earlier.. to say happy birthday can I book the restaurant now. I was a bit surprised she hadn’t done it earlier but ok.
Day of my Birthday we meet for dinner no card or present but she did pay for dinner. Couple of days later she’s like she would like to surprise me with some new lingerie and asked me what I liked. I’m like whatever you like but she insisted that I give her some options - sent her some and said should I get it for you? She was like yes. Few days later after discussing with some friends I asked why no card on my birthday.
She told me she didn’t think she had to as she was meeting me after my birthday and that she never does blow out dinners like this so I should be lucky. We been out for dinner before so didn’t get this…- subsequent arguments about this and fact I’ve brought her lingerie she finally mentioned that she doesn’t do gifts as she thinks their tokenistic but she does experiences instead. For me dinner on someone’s birthday is a low bar… she told me I should draw a line and she’d do better next time but thanked me for letting her know…
This is something I couldn’t get over and while she offered to return the lingerie we continued to have massive arguments where she finally told me I need to just draw a line under it.
I think my gf likes receiving gifts more than she likes giving them. Should I dump her or try again to explain why I’m hurt?
submitted by QuarterEuphoric6693
to dating [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:08 nolajilurf The Garden of Almost Dead (a piece about chronic illness)
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Chronic illness is a hidden garden of almost dead plants and flowers: it is both hope and hopelessness; 'life' and never-ending grief —solitude from rest but isolation from the able-bodied world, its race, its privileges, its opportunities. It is a temple of frustration and waiting, of "living" life barely alive, the maddening slowness, not to mention the constant judgment, ignorance and insensitivity of others. (Hi. I'm a practicing artist/painter from the Philippine who's had Crohn's disease for six years now. Anyway, I made this piece for a competition and I just wanted to share this with you all.) ig: @artbyjassed submitted by nolajilurf to DisabilityArt [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 14:08 decency_where In The Silence
There are mixed feelings in the silence, Joy for hearing my breath and knowing I'm alive Restlessness, not able to calm the nerves Guilt for not getting up and doing something I should What should I do? How should I feel? Is not hearing me breathe enough for now? I have all the time in the world, and yet not near enough. I love sitting down, yet I can't sit still My mind races, never fully at peace Lost between filling the void of emptiness yet needing desperately to let go I need to do things, I need a break Why so much struggle? I don't have mixed feelings in the silence, I have mixed feelings in me.
submitted by decency_where
to Poems [link] [comments]