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Today's Reading, via Project Gutenberg:
Borde could not enlighten him on that point, and I suggested that he should make application to the publisher of his Prayer-Book and get his money back. There is nobody. I said, like him. He is more wonderful than anything in literature. I prefer him to Sancho who was untroubled with a conscience and never thought of running to the Bishop of Toledo. All the same he is not without the shrewdness of his ancestors, and got the better of Archbishop Walsh, and for the last five years Vincent O'Brien has been beating time, and will beat it till the end of his life; and he will be succeeded by others, for Edward has, by deed, saved the Italian contrapuntalists till time everlasting from competition with modern composers. He certainly has gotten the better of Walsh. And I thought of a picture-gallery in Dublin with nothing in it but Botticelli and his school, and myself declaring that all painting that had been done since had no interest for me.... A smile began to spread over my face, for the story that was coming into my mind seemed oh! so humorous, so like Ireland, so like Edward, that I began to tell myself again the delightful story of the unrefined ears that, weary of erudite music, had left the cathedral and sought instinctively modern tunes and women's voices, and as these were to be found in Westland Row the church was soon overflowing with a happy congregation. But in a little while the collections grew scantier. This time it couldn't be Palestrina, and all kinds of reasons were adduced. At last the truth could no longer be denied—the professional Catholics of Merrion Square had been driven out of Westland Row by the searching smells of dirty clothes, and had gone away to the University Church in Stephen's Green. So if it weren't Palestrina directly it was Palestrina indirectly, and the brows of the priests began to knit when Edward Martyn's name was mentioned. Them fal-de-dals is well enough on the Continent, in Paris, where there is no faith, was the opinion of an important ecclesiastic. But we don't want them here, murmured a second ecclesiastic. All this counterpoint may make a very pretty background for Mr Martyn's prayers, but what about the poor people's? Good composer or bad composer, there is no congregation in him, said a third. There's too much congregation, put in the first, but not the kind we want! The second ecclesiastic took snuff, and the group were of opinion that steps should be taken to persuade dear Edward to make good their losses. The priests in Marlborough Street sympathised with the priests of Westland Row, and told them that they were so heavily out of pocket that Mr Martyn had agreed to do something for them. It seemed to the Westland Row priests that if Mr Martyn were making good the losses of the priests of the pro-Cathedral, he should make good their losses. It was natural that they should think so, and to acquit himself of all responsibility Edward no doubt consulted the best theologians on the subject, and I think that they assured him that he is not responsible for indirect losses. If he were, his whole fortune would not suffice. He was, of course, very sorry if a sudden influx of poor people had caused a falling-off in the collections of Westland Row, for he knew that the priests needed the money very much to pay for the new decorations, and to help them he wrote an article in the Independent praising the new blue ceiling, which seemed, so he wrote, a worthy canopy for the soaring strains of Palestrina.
Unfortunately rubbing salt into the wound, I said. A story that will amuse Dujardin and it will be great fun telling him in the shady garden at Fontainebleau how Edward, anxious to do something for his church, had succeeded in emptying two. All the way down the alleys he will wonder how Edward could have ever looked upon Palestrina's masses as religious music. The only music he will say, in which religious emotion transpires is plain-chant. Huysmans says that the Tantum Ergo or the Dies Irae, one or the other, reminds him of a soul being dragged out of purgatory, and it is possible that it does; but a plain-chant tune arranged in eight-part counterpoint cannot remind one of anything very terrible. Dujardin knows that Palestrina was a priest, and he will say: That fact deceived your friend, just as the fact of finding the Adeste Fideles among the plain-chant tunes deceived him. For of course I shall tell Dujardin that story too. It is too good to be missed. He is wonderful, Dujardin! I shall cry out in one of the sinuous alleys. There never was anybody like him! And I will tell him more soul-revealing anecdotes. I will say: Dujardin, listen. One evening he contended that the great duet at the end of Siegfried reminded him of mass by Palestrina. Dujardin will laugh, and, excited by his laughter, I will try to explain to him that what Edward sees is that Palestrina took a plain chant tune and gave fragments of it to the different voices, and in his mind these become confused with the motives of The Ring. You see, Dujardin, the essential always escapes him—the intention of the writer is hidden from him. I am beginning to understand your friend. He has, let us suppose, a musical ear that allows him to take pleasure in the music; but a musical ear will not help him to follow Wagner's idea—how, in a transport of sexual emotion, a young man and a young woman on a mountain-side awaken to the beauty of the life of the world. Dujardin's appreciations will provoke me, and I will say: Dujardin, you shouldn't be so appreciative. If I were telling you of a play I had written, it would be delightful to watch my idea dawning upon your consciousness; but I am telling you of a real man, and one that I shall never to able to get into literature. He will answer: We invent nothing; we can but perceive. And then, exhilarated, carried beyond myself, I will say: Dujardin, I will tell you something still more wonderful than the last gaffe. II gaffe dans les Quat'z Arts. He admires Ibsen, but you'd never guess the reason why—because he is very like Racine; both of them, he says, are classical writers. And do you know how he arrived at that point? Because nobody is killed on the stage in Racine or in Ibsen. He does not see that the intention of Racine is to represent men and women out of time and out of space, unconditioned by environment, and that the very first principle of Ibsen's art is the relation of his characters to their environment. In many passages he merely dramatises Darwin. There never was anybody so interesting as dear Edward, and there never will be anybody like him in literature ... I will explain why presently, but I must first tell you another anecdote. I went to see him one night, and he told me that the theme of the play he was writing was a man who had married a woman because he had lost faith in himself; the man did not know, however, that the woman had married him for the same reason, and the two of them were thinking—I have forgotten what they were thinking, but I remember Edward saying: I should like to suggest hopelessness. I urged many phrases, but he said: It isn't a phrase I want, but an actual thing. I was thinking of a broken anchor—that surely is a symbol of hopelessness. Yes, I said, no doubt, but how are you going to get a broken anchor into a drawing-room? I don't write about drawing-rooms. Well, living-rooms. It isn't likely that they would buy a broken anchor and put it up by the coal-scuttle.
There's that against it, he answered. If you could suggest anything better—What do you think of a library in which there is nothing but unacted plays? The characters could say, when there was nothing for them to do on the stage, that they were going to the library to read, and the library would have the advantage of reminding everybody of the garret in the Wild Duck. A very cruel answer, my friend, Dujardin will say, and I will tell him that I can't help seeing in Edward something beyond Shakespeare or Balzac. Now, tell me, which of these anecdotes I have told you is the most humorous? He will not answer my question, but a certain thoughtfulness will begin to settle in his face, and he will say: Everything with him is accidental, and when his memory fails him he falls into another mistake, and he amuses you because it is impossible for you to anticipate his next mistake. You know there is going to be one; there must be one, for he sees things separately rather than relatively. I am beginning to understand your friend.
You are, you are; you are doing splendidly. But you haven't told me, Dujardin, which anecdote you prefer. Stay, there is another one. Perhaps this one will help you to a still better understanding. When he brought The Heather Field and Yeats's play The Countess Cathleen to Dublin for performance, a great trouble of conscience awakened suddenly in him, and a few days before the performance he went to a theologian to ask him if The Countess Cathleen were a heretical work, and, if it were would Almighty God hold him responsible for the performance? But he couldn't withdraw Yeats's play without withdrawing his own, and it appears that he breathed a sigh of relief when a common friend referred the whole matter to two other theologians, and as these gave their consent Edward allowed the plays to go on; but Cardinal Logue intervened, and wrote a letter to the papers to say that the play seemed to him unfit for Catholic ears, and Edward would have withdrawn the plays if the Cardinal hadn't admitted in his letter that he had judged the play by certain extracts only.
He wishes to act rightly, but has little faith in himself; and what makes him so amusing is that he needs advice in aesthetics as well as in morals. We are, I said, Dujardin, at the roots of conscience. And I began to ponder the question what would happen to Edward if we lived in a world in which aesthetics ruled: I should be where Bishop Healy is, and he would be a thin, small voice crying in the wilderness—an amusing subject of meditation, from which I awoke suddenly.
I wonder how Dujardin is getting on with his Biblical studies? Last year he was calling into question the authorship of the Romans—a most eccentric view; and, remembering how weakly I had answered him, I took the Bible from the table and began to read the Epistle with a view to furnishing myself with arguments wherewith to confute him. My Bible opened at the ninth chapter, and I said: Why, here is the authority for the Countess Cathleen's sacrifice which Edward's theologian deemed untheological. It will be great fun to poke Edward up with St Paul, and on my way to Lincoln Place I thought how I might lead the conversation to The Countess Cathleen.
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A few minutes afterwards a light appeared on the staircase and the door slowly opened.
Come in, Siegfried, though you were off the key.
Well, my dear friend, it is a difficult matter to whistle above two trams passing simultaneously and six people jabbering round a public-house, to say nothing of a jarvey or two, and you perhaps dozing in your armchair, as your habit often is. You won't open to anything else except a motive from The Ring; and I stumbled up the stairs in front of Edward, who followed with a candle.
Wait a moment; let me go first and I'll turn up the gas.
You aren't sitting in the dark, are you?
No, but I read better by candle-light, and he blew out the candles in the tin candelabrum that he had made for himself. He is original even in his candelabrum; no one before him had ever thought of a caridelabrum in tin, and I fell to admiring his appearance more carefully than perhaps I had ever done before, so monumental did he seem lying on the little sofa sheltered from daughts by a screen, a shawl about his shoulders. His churchwarden was drawing famously, and I noticed his great square hands with strong fingers and square nails pared closely away, and as heretofore I admired the curve of the great belly, the thickness of the thighs, the length and breadth and the width of his foot hanging over the edge of the sofa, the apoplectic neck falling into great rolls of flesh, the humid eyes, the skull covered with short stubbly hair. I looked round the rooms and they seemed part of himself: the old green wallpaper on which he pins reproductions of the Italian masters. And I longed to peep once more into the bare bedroom into which he goes to fetch bottles of Apollinaris. Always original! Is there another man in this world whose income is two thousand a year, and who sleeps in a bare bedroom, without dressing-room, or bathroom, or servant in the house to brush his clothes, and who has to go to the baker's for his breakfast?
We had been talking for some time of the Gaelic League, and from Hyde it was easy to pass to Yeats and his plays.
His best play is The Countess Cathleen.
The Countess Cathleen is only a sketch.
But what I never could understand, Edward, was why you and the Cardinal could have had any doubts as to the orthodoxy of The Countess Cathleen.
What, a woman that sells her own soul in order to save the souls of others!
I suppose your theologian objected—
Of course he objected.
He cannot have read St Paul.
What do you mean?
He can't have read St Paul, or else he is prepared to throw over St Paul.
Mon ami Moore, mon ami Moore.
The supernatural idealism of a man who would sell his soul to save the souls of others fills me with awe.
But it wasn't a man; it was the Countess Cathleen, and women are never idealists.
Not the saints?
His face grew solemn at once.
If you give me the Epistles I will read the passage to you. And it was great fun to go to the bookshelves and read: I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost, that I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh.
Edward's face grew more and more solemn, and I wondered of what he was thinking.
Paul is a very difficult and a very obscure writer, and I think the Church is quite right not to encourage the reading of the Epistles, especially without comments.
Then you do think there is something in the passage I have read?
After looking down his dignified nose for a long time, he said:
Of course, the Church has an explanation. All the same, it's very odd that St Paul should have said such a thing—very odd.
There is no doubt that I owe a great deal of my happiness to Edward; all my life long he has been exquisite entertainment. And I fell to thinking that Nature was very cruel to have led me, like Moses, within sight of the Promised Land. A story would be necessary to bring Edward into literature, and it would be impossible to devise an action of which he should be a part. The sex of a woman is odious to him, and a man with two thousand a year does not rob nor steal, and he is so uninterested in his fellow-men that he has never an ill word to say about anybody. John Eglinton is a little thing; AE is a soul that few will understand; but Edward is universal—more universal than Yeats, than myself, than any of us, but for lack of a story I shall not be able to give him the immortality in literature which he seeks in sacraments. Shakespeare always took his stories from some other people. Turgenev's portrait of him would be thin, poor, and evasive, and Balzac would give us the portrait of a mere fool. And Edward is not a fool. As I understand him he is a temperament without a rudder; all he has to rely upon is his memory, which isn't a very good one, and so he tumbles from one mistake into another. My God! it is a terrible thing to happen to one, to understand a man better than he understands himself, and to be powerless to help him. If I had been able to undo his faith I should have raised him to the level of Sir Horace Plunkett, but he resisted me; and perhaps he did well, for he came into the world seeing things separately rather than relatively, and had to be a Catholic. He is a born Catholic, and I remembered one of his confessions—a partial confession, but a confession: If you had been brought up as strictly as I have been—I don't think he ever finished the sentence; he often leaves sentences unfinished, as if he fears to think things out. The end of the sentence should run: You would not dare to think independently. He thinks that his severe bringing-up has robbed him of something. But the prisoner ends by liking his prison-house, and on another occasion he said: If it hadn't been for the Church, I don't know what would have happened to me.
My thoughts stopped, and when I awoke I was thinking of Hughes. Perhaps the link between Hughes and Edward was Loughrea Cathedral. He had shown me a photograph of some saints modelled by Hughes. Hughes is away in Paris, I said, modelling saints for Loughrea Cathedral. The last time I saw him was at Walter Osborne's funeral, and Walter's death set me thinking of the woman I had lost, and little by little all she had told me about herself floated up in my mind like something that I had read. I had never seen her father nor the Putney villa in which she had been brought up, but she had made me familiar with both through her pleasant mode of conversation, which was never to describe anything, but just to talk about things, dropping phrases here and there, and the phrases she dropped were so well chosen that the comfort of the villa, its pompous meals and numerous servants, its gardens and greenhouses, with stables and coach-house just behind, are as well known to me as the house that I am living in, better known in a way, for I see it through the eyes of the imagination ... clearer eyes than the physical eyes.
It does not seem to me that any one was ever more conscious of whence she had come and of what she had been; she seemed to be able to see herself as a child again, and to describe her childhood with her brother (they were nearly the same age) in the villa and in the villa's garden. I seemed to see them always as two rather staid children who were being constantly dressed by diligent nurses and taken out for long drives in the family carriage. They did not like these drives and used to hide in the garden; but their governess was sent to fetch them, and they were brought back. Her father did not like to have the horses kept waiting, and one day as Stella stood with him in the passage, she saw her mother come out of her bedroom beautifully dressed. Her father whispered something in his wife's ear, and he followed her into her bedroom. Stella remembered how the door closed behind them. In my telling, the incident seems to lose some of its point, but in Stella's relation it seemed to put her father and his wife before me and so clearly that I could not help asking her what answer her father would make were she to tell him that she had a lover. A smile hovered in her grave face. He would look embarrassed, she said, and wonder why I should have told him such a thing, and then I think he would go to the greenhouse, and when he returned he would talk to me about something quite different. I don't think that Stella ever told me about the people that came to their house, but people must have come to it, and as an example of how a few words can convey an environment I will quote her: I always wanted to talk about Rossetti, she said, and these seven words seem to me to tell better than any description the life of a girl living with a formal father in a Putney villa, longing for something, not knowing exactly what, and anxious to get away from home.... I think she told me she was eighteen or nineteen and had started painting before she met Florence at the house of one of her father's friends; a somewhat sore point this meeting was, for Florence was looked upon by Stella's father as something of a Bohemian. She was a painter, and knew all the Art classes and the fees that had to be paid, and led Stella into the world of studios and models and girl friends. She knew how to find studios and could plan out a journey abroad. Stella's imagination was captured, and even if her father had tried to offer opposition to her leaving home he could not have prevented her, for she was an heiress (her mother was dead and had left her a considerable income); but he did not try, and the two girls set up house together in Chelsea; they travelled in Italy and Spain; they had a cottage in the country; they painted pictures and exhibited their pictures in the same exhibitions; they gave dances in their studios and were attracted by this young man and the other; but Stella did not give herself to any one, because, as she admitted to me, she was afraid that a lover would interrupt the devotion which she intended to give to Art. But life is forever casting itself into new shapes and forms, and no sooner had she begun to express herself in Art than she met me. I was about to go to Ireland to preach a new gospel, and must have seemed a very impulsive and fantastic person to her, but were not impulsiveness and fantasy just the qualities that would appeal to her? And were not gravity and good sense the qualities that would appeal to me, determined as I was then to indulge myself in a little madness?
I could not have chosen a saner companion than Stella; my instinct had led me to her; but because one man's instinct is a little more clear than another's, it does not follow that he has called reason to his aid. It must be remembered always that the art of painting is as inveterate in me as the art of writing, and that I am never altogether myself when far away from the smell of oil paint. Stella could talk to one about painting, and all through that wonderful summer described in Salve our talk flowed on as delightfully as a breeze in Maytime, and as irresponsible, flashing thoughts going by and avowals perfumed with memories. Only in her garden did conversation fail us, for in her garden Stella could think only of her flowers, and it seemed an indiscretion to follow her as she went through the twilight gathering dead blooms or freeing plants from noxious insects. But she would have had me follow her, and I think was always a little grieved that I wasn't as interested in her garden as I was in her painting; and my absent-mindedness when I followed her often vexed her and my mistakes distressed her.
You are interested, she said, only in what I say about flowers and not in the flowers themselves. You like to hear me tell about Miss —— whose business in life is to grow carnations, because you already see her, dimly, perhaps, but still you see her in a story. Forget her and look at this Miss Shifner!
Yes, it is beautiful, but we can only admire the flowers that we notice when we are children, I answered. Dahlias, china roses, red and yellow tulips, tawny wallflowers, purple pansies, are never long out of my thoughts, and all the wonderful varieties of the iris, the beautiful blue satin and the cream, some shining like porcelain, even the common iris that grows about the moat.
But there were carnations in your mother's garden?
Yes, and I remember seeing them being tied with bass. But what did you say yesterday about carnations? That they were the—
She laughed and would not tell me, and when the twilight stooped over the high trees and the bats flitted and the garden was silent except when a fish leaped, I begged her to come away to the wild growths that I loved better than the flowers.
But the mallow and willow-weed are the only two that you recognise. How many times have I told you the difference between self-heal and tufted vetch?
I like cow parsley and wild hyacinths and—
You have forgotten the name. As well speak of a woman that you loved but whose name you had forgotten.
Well, if I have, I love trees better than you do, Stella. You pass under a fir unstirred by the mystery of its branches, and I wonder at you, for I am a tree worshipper, even as my ancestors, and am moved as they were by the dizzy height of a great silver fir. You like to paint trees, and I should like to paint flowers if I could paint; there we are set forth, you and I.
I have told in Salve that in Rathfarnham she found many motives for painting; the shape of the land and the spire above the straggling village appealed to me, but she was not altogether herself in these pictures. She would have liked the village away, for man and his dwellings did not form part of her conception of a landscape; large trees and a flight of clouds above the trees were her selection, and the almost unconscious life of kine wandering or sheep seeking the shelter of a tree.
Stella was a good walker, and we followed the long road leading from Rathfarnham up the hills, stopping to admire the long plain which we could see through the comely trees shooting out of the shelving hillside.
If I have beguiled you into a country where there are no artists and few men of letters, you can't say that I have not shown you comely trees. And now if you can walk two miles farther up this steep road I will show you a lovely prospect.
And I enjoyed her grave admiration of the old Queen Anne dwelling-house, its rough masonry, the yew hedges, the path along the hillside leading to the Druid altar and the coast-line sweeping in beautiful curves, but she did not like to hear me say that the drawing of the shore reminded her of Corot.
It is a sad affectation, she said, to speak of Nature reminding one of pictures.
Well, the outlines of Howth are beautiful, I answered, and the haze is incomparable. I should like to have spoken about a piece of sculpture, but for your sake, Stella, I refrain.
She was interested in things rather than ideas, and I remember her saying to me that things interest us only because we know that they are always slipping from us. A strange thing for a woman to say to her lover. She noticed all the changes of the seasons and loved them, and taught me to love them. She brought a lamb back from Rathfarnham, a poor forlorn thing that had run bleating so pitifully across the windy field that she had asked the shepherd where the ewe was, and he had answered that she had been killed overnight by a golf-ball. The lamb will be dead before morning, he added. And it was that March that the donkey produced a foal, a poor ragged thing that did not look as if it ever could be larger than a goat, but the donkey loved her foal.
Do you know the names of those two birds flying up and down the river?
They look to me like two large wrens with white waistcoats.
They are water-ouzels, she said.
The birds flew with rapid strokes of the wings, like kingfishers, alighting constantly on the river, on large mossy stones, and though we saw them plunge into the water, it was not to swim, but to run along the bottom in search of worms.
But do worms live under water?
The rooks were building, and a little while after a great scuffling was heard in one of the chimneys and a young jackdaw came down and soon became tamer than any bird I had ever seen, tamer than a parrot, and at the end of May the corncrake called from the meadow that summer had come again, and the kine wandered in deeper and deeper and deeper herbage. The days seemed never to end, and looking through the branches of the chestnut in which the fruit had not begun to show, we caught sight of a strange spectacle. Stella said, A lunar rainbow, and I wondered, never having heard of or seen such a thing before.
I shall never forget that rainbow, Stella, and am glad that we saw it together.
In every love story lovers reprove each other for lack of affection, and Stella had often sent me angry letters which caused me many heart-burnings and brought me out to her; in the garden there were reconciliations, we picked up the thread again, and the summer had passed before the reason of these quarrels became clear to me. One September evening Stella said she would accompany me to the gate, and we had not gone very far before I began to notice that she was quarrelling with me. She spoke of the loneliness of the Moat House, and I had answered that she had not been alone two evenings that week. She admitted my devotion. And if you admit that there has been no neglect—
She would not tell me, but there was something she was not satisfied with, and before we reached the end of the avenue she said, I don't think I can tell you. But on being pressed she said:
Well, you don't make love to me often enough.
And full of apologies I answered, Let me go back.
No, I can't have you back now, not after having spoken like that.
But she yielded to my invitation, and we returned to the house, and next morning I went back to Dublin a little dazed, a little shaken.
A few days after she went away to Italy to spend the winter and wrote me long letters, interesting me in herself, in the villagers, in the walks and the things that she saw in her walks, setting me sighing that she was away from me, or that I was not with her. And going to the window I would stand for a long time watching the hawthorns in their bleak wintry discontent, thinking how the sunlight fell into the Italian gardens, and caught the corner of the ruin she was sketching; and I let my fancy stray for a time unchecked. It would be wonderful to be in Italy with her, but—
I turned from the window suspicious, for there was a feeling at the back of my mind that with her return an anxiety would come into my life that I would willingly be without. She had told me she had refrained from a lover because she wished to keep all herself for her painting, and now she had taken to herself a lover. She was twenty years younger than I was, and at forty-six or thereabouts one begins to feel that one's time for love is over; one is consultant rather than practitioner. But it was impossible to dismiss the subject with a jest, and I found myself face to face with the question—If these twenty years were removed, would things be different? It seemed to me that the difficulty that had arisen would have been the same earlier in my life as it was now, and returning to the window I watched the hawthorns blowing under the cold grey Dublin sky.
The problem is set, I said, for the married, and every couple has to solve it in one way or another, but they have to solve it; they have to come to terms with love, especially the man, for whom it is a question of life and death. But how do they come to terms? And I thought of the different married people I knew. Which would be most likely to advise me—the man or the woman? It would be no use to seek advice; every case is different, I said. If anybody were to advise me it would be the man, for the problem is not so difficult for a woman. She can escape from love more easily than her lover or her husband; she can plead, and her many pleadings were considered, one by one, and how in married life the solution that seems to lovers so difficult is solved by marriage itself, by propinquity. But not always, not always. The question is one of extraordinary interest and importance; more marriages come to shipwreck, I am convinced, on this very question than upon any other. In the divorce cases published we read of incompatibility of temper and lack of mutual tastes, mere euphemisms that deceive nobody. The image of a shipwreck rose up in me naturally. She will return, and like a ship our love for each other will be beaten on these rocks and broken. We shall not be able to get out to sea. She will return, and when she returns her temperament will have to be adjusted to mine, else she will lose me altogether, for men have died of love, though Shakespeare says they haven't. Manet and Daudet—both died of love; and the somewhat absurd spectacle of a lover waiting for his mistress to return, and yet dreading her returning, was constantly before me.
It often seemed to me that it was my own weakness that created our embarrassment. A stronger man would have been able to find a way out, but I am not one that can shape and mould another according to my desire; and when she returned from Italy I found myself more helpless than ever, and I remember, and with shame, how, to avoid being alone with her, I would run down the entire length of a train, avoiding the empty carriages, crying Not here, not here! at last opening the door of one occupied by three or four people, who all looked as if they were bound for a long journey. I remember, too, how about this time I came with friends to see Stella, whether by accident or design, frankly I know not; I only know that I brought many friends to see her, thinking they would interest her.
If you don't care to come to see me without a chaperon, I would rather you didn't come at all, she said, humiliating me very deeply.
It seemed to me, I answered, blushing, that you would like to see ——, and I mentioned the name of the man who had accompanied me.
If I am cross sometimes it is because I don't see enough of you.
It seems to me that it was then that the resolve hardened in my heart to become her friend ... if she would allow me to become her friend. But in what words should I frame my request and my apology? All the time our life was becoming less amiable, until one evening I nipped the quarrel that was beginning, stopping suddenly at the end of the avenue.
It is better that we should understand each other. The plain truth is that I must cease to be your lover unless my life is to be sacrificed.
Cease to be my lover!
That is impossible, but a change comes into every love story.
The explanation stuttered on. I remember her saying: I don't wish you to sacrifice your life. I have forgotten the end of her sentence. She drew her hand suddenly across her eyes. I will conquer this obsession.
A man would have whined and cried and besought and worried his mistress out of her wits. Women behave better than we; only once did her feelings overcome her. She spoke to me of the deception that life is. Again we were standing by the gate at the end of the chestnut avenue, and I remembered her telling me how a few years ago life had seemed to hold out its hands to her; her painting and her youth created her enjoyment.
But now life seems to have shrivelled up, she said; only a little dust is left.
Nothing is changed, so far as you and I are concerned. We see each other just the same.
I am no more to you than any other woman.
She went away again to Italy to paint and returned to Ireland, and one day she came to see me, and remained talking for an hour. I have no memory of what we said to each other, but a very clear memory of our walk through Dublin over Carlisle Bridge and along the quays. I had accompanied her as far as the Phoenix Park gates, and at the corner of the Conyngham Road, just as I was bidding her goodbye, she said:
I want to ask your advice on a matter of importance to me.
And to me, for what is important to you is equally important to me.
I am thinking, she said, of being married.
At the news it seems to me that I was unduly elated and tried to assume the interest that a friend should.

My girlfriend and I live in two cities that are about an hour and a half away from each other. She lives with her parents, and I live alone in an apartment. At the beginning of our relationship, she would come up and spend a night or two with me on the weekends. I am a high school teacher and have a classic Monday-Friday work schedule. She can’t really come up on weekdays, since it’s a 3 hour round trip for her and I work the whole day anyway. She lives with her parents, and so I can’t stay with her (traditional Korean parents).
As the relationship has progressed, she has been coming up every Friday afternoon and leaving Monday for the past three weeks, and it has left me absolutely exhausted. I, very gently, asked her if I could have next weekend to myself because I wanted to recharge and be alone. She became very emotional and accused me of not wanting to see her for two weeks. Honestly, true, but not really my feelings.
Anyway, she just stormed out in tears. Honestly, I think this reaction is pretty ridiculous, so I’m thinking about just ending things in general, but I want someone on the internet to either set me straight and tell me I’m being an asshole or validate my feelings first.
What do y’all think?

Analysis of Search Incidents and Lost Person Behavior in Yosemite National Park
Referenced from Lost Person Behavior by Jared Doke.
Yosemite National Park is an American national park in the state of California.
Crampton (1988) described a continuum of being lost with two distinct degrees of lostness.
The 1st, and arguably the most serious, is defined as “unknown lost”.
This occurs when a person believed that they knew where they were, when in fact they didn't.
This could happen to a hiker if they arrived at a diverging trail and took one path, but misidentified the one they should have otherwise taken.
The hiker may continue on in a denial process, fitting the terrain to their expectations, rejecting any discrepancies.
Eventually, they will have realized the mistake they had made, and only then can they take action to correct their errors.
Lost people generally have two goals: to try to find their way or to try to be found (Cornell and Heth 1999).
Yosemite National Park is unlike any other place on earth. It has its own distinct geology,
One must first understand the environment, hazards, and underlying processes that influence a lost hikers' decisions.
The geology, geomorphology, climate, weather, hydrology, vegetation, fauna, history, park visitation, and potential hazards are all relevent here.
The data indicates that people don't get lost at random locations, rather they get lost after they arrive at pre-known locations.
In Yosemite Valley these “hot spot” areas exist at the Yosemite Valley rim, Glacier Point, Sentinel Dome, the Badger Pass Ski area as well as a few trailheads.
Conversely, lost hikers are also found at pre-known locations as well.
The same significant “hot spot” areas.
On the Pianista trail, River 1/508 would be an example of a well known location.
Where a diverging trail exists, is after crossing river 2, there is an open paddock.

• The prevalance of hikers becoming lost -

In Yosemite Valley, 45% of hikers, whilst present on the trail, had identified themselves as being lost or agreed that they didn't know where they were.
This figure should probably be higher, but hikers are often too embarrased to admit to being lost.

• Contributing factors that caused hikers to become lost -

Main Contributing Factor n %
Lost Trail Accidentally 16.9%
Failed to research the trail and identify a planned route 11.7%
Miscalculation of time or distance of trail 9.4%
Darkness 7.0%
Left Trail Intentionally 5.6%
Insufficient Information/Error in Judgment 5.6%
Snow on Ground 5.2%
Wrong Trail Taken 4.7%
Fatigue/Physical Condition 4.2%
Steep Terrain 2.8%
Emotionally Upset 2.4%
Ground Level Fall 1.9%

• Successfulness of lost mitigation strategies -

For the most part, the lost incidents had a favorable outcome.
Of the 213 incidents, 68% resulted in the lost person/group being found uninjured and 23% were resolved by self-rescue.
10 incidents concluded with the subject being found injured, 9 subjects were found deceased, and 2 were found with medical problems.
Types of lost mitigation strategies used
In Yosemite, lost hikers who were in an active state of lostness typically attempted to follow a linear feature, in order to reorient themselves, or to become found.
Route Traveling 41.9%
Staying Put 25.7%
Backtracking 16.2%
Random Traveling 5.4%
View Enhancing 4.1%
Route Sampling 2.7%
Direction Traveling 2.7%
Doing Nothing 1.4%
The goal of Yosemite's PSAR program is to “help visitors avoid the need to be rescued by providing education about the hazards of hiking, and the time and equipment necessary to complete a planned hike
One of the most promising aspects of this report was the realization that watersheds may be used to predict the found locations for lost subjects.
A watershed is an area of land that drains all the streams and rainfall to a common outlet such as the outflow of a reservoir, mouth of a bay, or any point along a stream channel.
Watersheds are often used to draw search segments because ridges and streams provide natural borders for searchers in the field.
Kris and Lisanne very much underestimated their hike. It wasn't a pleasant afternoon trip, it was described as a walk in the park.
Alot of people posted to forums after this incident, and it's interesting to read the most revevent statements from 2014 that were the most accurate and well thought out:
"I've studied this case a great deal, and I think it's very possible that Kris and Lisanne didn't know that once you reach the summit, you're supposed to turn around and go down the way you came up. The El Pianista trail does not end at the summit"
"I believe they thought you're supposed to follow the trail down the other side of the mountain, and they probably also thought that it would take about as long to get down that side as it took them to get up the other side - about three hours."
"They might not have even been truly lost when they made their first 9-11 calls; they may have gotten lost only later in the evening, by travelling desperately in low light and darkness in an attempt to avoid spending the night in the jungle, perhaps leaving the trail to take "shortcuts."?"
"It is important to note that there are many paths made by the indigenous Ngobe tribes people, leading away from the official path, even locals and tour guides get regularly lost there and there are no signs that are indicating which path is the right one."
"These paths are well known for being incredibly dangerous (narrow, steep ascents/descents, slippy mud track and dangerous rope bridges) and are even avoided by the indigenous tribe at all costs."
"At this point it was already unlikely that they would meet another person there, since every local knows that they are otherwise risking their lives, by deviating onto these less traveled pathways."
"Oh, it's VERY possible to get lost on the El Pianista, and I'm speaking from experience! I hiked this same trail and got lost just 3 weeks ago while on vacation - signs at the base next to the restaurant even say it's prohibited to hike unless for scientific purposes. You have to cross two streams, and halfway up the trail it becomes practically nonexistent - once I got to the top, about a 3 hour hike without seeing one person, I lost track of the trail and lost my mind within seconds, and began running downhill completely lost - All the vegetation made it impossible to walk at times, I had to climb, crawl and scoot downhill for Two hours before I eventually wandered into someone's property and yelled for help."
"People do get lost. Sometimes fog can blanket the area and there's no visibility. A heavy rain can wash out trails. There can be confusion with game trails, because they are pathways that give the hiker the false impression that they are navicable."
Off The Beaten Path – Cerro de la Muerta
Consisting of steep, narrow curves and countless potholes, the mountain roads would be somewhat less hazardous if not fully submersed in fog. Due to its altitude, Cerro de la Muerte temperatures rise and fall to both day and night extremes.
Before Costa Rica had a lot of roads, people braved the treacherous mountain trails barefoot, on treks lasting three or four days, to secure supplies for their homes and livestock.
For many, Cerro de la Muerte was the worst part of a journey, many people didn't survive it.
With temperatures often below freezing, many travelers died of hypothermia along the trail or got sick and died of pneumonia later on, assuming they survived the frequent landslides and didn’t fall off any of the cliffs etc.
Sunburn danger here is higher than normal, owing to the thin clear air.
The road is usually open all year round, but flash floods, landslides, narrow curves, and steep cliffs make the pass extremely dangerous. There’s a reason this place is called the Mountain of Death.
Higher mountain peaks extend along the Cordillera de Talamanca, the region that the Pianista trail leads into.
Montane streams in the tropics are among the most extreme fluvial environments in the world. A combination of steep slopes, high mean annual rainfall, and intense tropical storms generate an energetic and powerful flow regime.
Much of the range and the area around it is included in La Amistad International Park, which also is shared between the two countries.
The highest peaks are present within Costa Rica and Panama.
Much of the Caribbean areas of this range are still unexplored.
Rapid runoff production generates flashy, frequent, short-duration floods and occasional high-magnitude floods associated with hurricanes and other tropical disturbances.
During the peak wet season, strong hydraulic forces are present within the stream channels.
The Changuinola is a river network with well-developed downstream hydraulic geometry.
Many alluvial rivers develop systematic changes in slope, channel geometry, and grain size, from their headwaters to the coast, in response to changes in discharge and sediment yield.

https://i.redd.it/74ae26krwk2b1.jpeg
​ SUMMARY Italian-based SMEG is known for its '50s retro-look appliances designed in collaboration with some of the world's top architects. This toaster combines iconic midcentury style with modern features, so you can count on perfect toast or bagels every time. Choose from a selection of luscious colors that match other SMEG appliances for a coordinated collection.
Two extra-wide slots. Six browning levels offer precise control of browning. Backlit chrome knob with four functions: Reheat, Defrost, Cancel, Bagel. Self-centering racks hold toast upright for even browning. Removable stainless-steel crumb tray.
DIMENSIONS & MORE INFO Model #TSF01WHUS. Steel with powder-coated enamel finish that resists scratches, stains and corrosion. Anti-slip feet. Built-in cord wrap for safety. 12 1/4" x 7 3/4" x 7 3/4" high; 5 lb. 4 oz. Slot width: 1 1/4". 950W. This product is intended for use in the United States and Canada and is built to U.S. electrical standards. Made in China.
USE & CARE CARE Wipe clean with damp cloth.
SHIPPING & RETURNS SHIPPING INFORMATION This item will be shipped directly from the manufacturer and is not eligible for rush shipping. Please allow one to two weeks for delivery.
SHIPPING RATES The shipping rate varies depending on your order total and shipping destination. View Shipping Options and Charges.
RETURN POLICY At Williams Sonoma, we take great pride in the quality and craftsmanship of our products. Attention to design, materials, safety and construction are our priority. Upon receipt, please inspect your purchase and notify us of any damage; we will arrange for a prompt replacement.
Within 30 days, you may return most items for a refund of the merchandise value. An original receipt or gift receipt is required for all returns and exchanges. Returns with a gift receipt will be refunded in the form of a Merchandise Credit for the amount indicated on the gift receipt. Returns with original receipt will be refunded in the original form of payment, cash and check refunds over $100 will be issued as a company check (may take 14 business days from time of request). Please note that returned items must be in new condition.
Cutlery returns (knife sets, single knives, cutting boards, knife sharpeners and knife storage) may require extra information and safety instructions. To initiate your return, please contact us at 888.922.4108 or visit us at your local store.
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For returns of items purchased from your Williams Sonoma Gift Registry, we will gladly provide a refund or exchange for the merchandise within 90 days of your event or within 90 days of purchase, whichever date is later. View Full Returns Policy.
TOASTED BREAKFAST SANDWICH RECIPE Toast the bread in a toaster and spread the butter on one side of each slice. Top 4 of the slices with the cheese, dividing evenly. Set aside.
In a 12-inch nonstick griddle or fry pan over medium heat, warm the oil. Break 2 eggs into the pan and cook until the whites are set and the edges of the yolks are just beginning to set, 3 to 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a plate. Repeat with the remaining 2 eggs.
Place 1 egg on top of each cheese-topped bread slice, followed by 2 bacon slices. Arrange the arugula on top. Cover each sandwich with one of the remaining bread slices, buttered side down. Serve immediately. Serves 4.
See full Toasted Breakfast Sandwich Recipe.

Hello, i am a Filipino but i was born and raised in Singapore/Canada. Im planning to study in the Philippines, so im here to ask questions about things i need to expect studying in the country, specifically in Mapua Makati. I plan on taking BSIT.
Questions: 1)Would there be any Filipino(tagalog) classes in BSIT? I can speak tagalog but only the basic and day-to-day conversations i’ve acquired from growing up with parents speaking tagalog at home. I’ve never had any education in tagalog language where we really learn in-depth tagalog unlike probably most students.
2)Are students in Mapua friendly towards english-speaking students?
3)I’ve been asking around when is the deadline for MPASS. I plan to take it next month. I have not even reserved a slot yet. What month do schools in PH normally close their enrollment season? Would there still be slots in BSIT normally in the month of June?
4)Do professors teach in English, or tagalog? Baka ma “nose bleed” ako if tagalog 🥲
Thanks in advance for your answers.

I am shifting to flat with my friends. It is a spacious 2BHK with a balcony and a washing area. I can safely call it luxury for a college student. We are 4 people sharing two rooms, so I will have one roommate, and we know each other from the pg that we will be leaving now. So, we have a fair idea of compatibility with each other as roommates.
I will be living 'on my own' for the first time since the pg provided food, housekeeping, Wi-Fi and such services. Now this is a completely independent flat. I am excited but scared of the sudden burst of responsibilities. I have time to prepare myself since we will be going home for a 1.5 month long summer break, I want to know as much as possible so I don't get overwhelmed with the change. I want to be able to contribute and be a responsible roommate without tiring myself out and/or letting people step on my boundaries. This is extremely important since I am great friends with these people and I know one of them since high school, the last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship and make it living hell for us.
What are some must knows, dos and don'ts of living independently? Can you share some food/cooking and safety hacks?
<3<3

Thanks for stopping by - especially if you happen to be a particularly introspective/insightful person who has improved their mindset around sex.
TLDR - Neither me(36f) or my husband (39m) are sexually experienced or have had a particularly fun sex life with our few previous partners We want to get good at sex, get more pleasure, and perspective. Is swinging the right path?
I grew up sexually repressed - all through college I held myself back from having sex, because was never able to let myself feel desirable - I wanted sex and had opportunity but just stopped myself because sex is “bad” and i dunno I wasn’t pretty enough or something in my head.
Anyhow this is it…our “body count” as the cool kids say …me: 1) a guy with drug and anger issues that gave me an amazing son 2) a female friend of mine 3) a much older selfish married man 4) long distance relationship for 8 months with a guy who realized he couldn’t be a stepparent and 5) my husband ❤️
My husband 1) married his sexually-repressed high school sweetheart, and after a couple decades and a couple kids she moved out of the country to find herself and left him with the kids. Then he had 2) a one night stand from a dating app and 3) a relationship for six months with a woman who told him she was never attracted to him and then dumped him via text leaving him also not feeling desirable, and 4) me ❤️
We’ve been married for 6 years and it’s going fantastic in all areas but sex. We’ve created this new blended family, and have a wonderful life. We’ve both learned to communicate much more together and sex is often nice…but often mechanical and we’re in our own heads about trying to please each other. Like - we don’t really feel confident and there’s emotion that goes along for the ride and we don’t have experience to draw on.
Maybe some day in the future we could strut into a sex club like we own the place, But for now we just want to find another couple or two, take it slow so we can learn how to give and get pleasure better without the hang ups.
So here’s the question and thanks for making it this far. We feel secure in our relationship, and are open to try pretty much anything. We are fun and funny. We’re approachable and charismatic.
Is swinging a good path for this, or do we somehow need to figure out how to get “good” at sex first? How do we approach this with people and let them know that we want to grow and learn but we’re novices in sex generally?

Are you thinking about moving to California? It’s a beautiful state with a lot to offer, but it can also be overwhelming if you’re not prepared. In this blog, we’ll cover everything you need to know before making the move, including practical tips for finding housing, dealing with logistics, and connecting with a reputable realtor in the area.

Why Move to California?

California is a highly desirable state for many reasons. For starters, it boasts a warm and sunny climate that’s perfect for outdoor enthusiasts. With hundreds of miles of coastline, California also offers some of the most beautiful beaches in the country, which attract millions of visitors each year.
Aside from its natural beauty, California is also a hub for innovation and creativity. With Silicon Valley, Hollywood, and other major industries, the state is a hotbed for job opportunities in various fields. Whether you’re an engineer, a filmmaker, or a writer, California offers a wide range of career options.
In addition to its booming job market, California is home to some of the best colleges and universities in the world, such as Stanford, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. The state’s higher education system provides residents with access to top-notch education and research facilities.
But that’s not all. California is also known for its diverse population and vibrant culture. From the food to the arts, the state’s rich mix of cultures and traditions make it a fascinating place to live and explore. Whether you’re interested in Mexican cuisine, Asian art, or African music, you’re sure to find it all in California.
Finally, California is a state of opportunity. From the gold rush of the 1800s to the tech boom of the 2000s, the state has a long history of attracting people who are willing to take risks and chase their dreams. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, an artist, or just someone looking for a fresh start, California offers endless possibilities.
All in all, California’s natural beauty, job opportunities, educational resources, cultural diversity, and spirit of opportunity make it a compelling destination for anyone looking to make a fresh start.

The Benefits of Using a Moving Service

Moving to a new home can be an exciting but stressful time. One way to alleviate some of the stress is by using a moving service. Here are some benefits of using a moving service:

1. Convenience: A moving service can handle all aspects of your move, from packing and loading your belongings to transporting them to your new home. This saves you time and energy that you can use to focus on other aspects of your move, such as finding a new school or job.
2. Expertise: Professional movers are experienced in handling delicate and valuable items, such as antiques, artwork, and electronics. They have the right equipment and techniques to ensure that your belongings are packed and transported safely.
3. Insurance: Reputable moving services offer insurance for your belongings during the move. This provides added protection and peace of mind in case anything is damaged or lost during the move.
4. Cost-effective: Although hiring a moving service may seem expensive at first glance, it can actually be cost-effective in the long run. A moving service can help you avoid the costs of renting a truck, buying packing materials, and hiring labor to help you move.
5. Safety: Moving heavy and bulky items can be dangerous if you don’t have the right equipment and training. Professional movers know how to safely lift and move heavy items, reducing the risk of injury.
6. Flexibility: Moving services offer a range of services, from full-service packing and moving to labor-only services. This allows you to choose the level of assistance that best fits your needs and budget.

Moving Truck Driver is a great option for those who need to transport their belongings in a U-Haul or Penske truck. They specialize in driving these trucks and can make the moving process smoother and less stressful.

Finding Housing in California

Finding a place to live in California can be a daunting task, especially if you’re not familiar with the area. Here are some tips for finding housing unique to the area:

• Research different neighborhoods: California is a large state, and each neighborhood has its own unique feel. Spend some time researching different areas to find one that fits your lifestyle and budget.
• Use online resources: There are many websites that can help you find apartments or homes for rent or sale. Zillow, Trulia, and Redfin are just a few of the popular ones.
• Be prepared to act fast: The California housing market moves quickly, so be prepared to act fast when you find a place you like. Make sure you have all the necessary documents ready, and be ready to put down a deposit.

Dealing with Logistics

Moving to California requires a bit of logistical planning. Here are some tips to help you prepare:

• Get your driver’s license: You’ll need a California driver’s license if you plan on driving in the state.
• Register your vehicle: You’ll also need to register your vehicle with the California DMV within 20 days of establishing residency.
• Change your address: Don’t forget to change your address with the post office and any other relevant institutions, such as your bank and credit card companies.

Connecting with a Reputable Realtor

Connecting with a reputable realtor when moving to California can have many benefits. A realtor can provide you with valuable information about the local housing market, help you find the right neighborhood, and negotiate the best deal on your behalf. Here are some reasons why you should consider connecting with a realtor:

1. Knowledge of the local market: A realtor has access to information about the local housing market, such as property values, trends, and inventory. This information can be invaluable when making decisions about where to live and what to pay for your new home.
2. Professional expertise: A realtor is a trained and licensed professional who knows how to navigate the complex process of buying or renting a home. They can guide you through the entire process, from searching for properties to closing the deal.
3. Network of contacts: A realtor has a network of contacts in the real estate industry, including other realtors, lenders, and home inspectors. They can use their contacts to help you find the right property and ensure that your transaction goes smoothly.
4. Negotiation skills: A realtor is trained in the art of negotiation and can help you get the best deal possible on your new home. They can work with the seller or landlord to negotiate a fair price, terms, and conditions.
5. Legal protection: A realtor can help you navigate the legal aspects of buying or renting a home, including contracts, disclosures, and inspections. They can also help you understand your rights and obligations as a buyer or tenant.

A good realtor can help you find the right neighborhood, navigate the housing market, and negotiate a fair price. Moving Truck Driver has worked with amazing realtors all over the country and can connect you with a realtor in the area where you are looking, who can help you find your dream home.

Practical Checklist for Moving to California

If you’re planning on moving to California, here’s a practical checklist to help you get started:

• Research different neighborhoods and decide on the one that’s right for you.
• Use online resources to find apartments or homes for rent or sale.
• Prepare all necessary documents and be ready to act fast when you find a place you like.
• Get your California driver’s license.
• Register your vehicle with the California DMV.
• Change your address with the post office and any other relevant institutions.
• Work with a reputable realtor to find your dream home.

Conclusion

Moving to California can be an exciting adventure, but it can also be a daunting task. With so much to consider, from finding the right housing to navigating the logistics of moving, it’s important to have a plan in place before you go. Utilizing a moving service that specializes in driving U-Haul and Penske trucks, such as Moving Truck Driver, can make the process of moving easier and less stressful. Additionally, connecting with a reputable realtor can provide you with valuable information and professional expertise to help you find the right home in the right neighborhood.
When moving to California, it’s important to do your research and plan ahead. Use the practical tips and advice in this article, as well as any additional resources you can find, to make the process of moving as smooth and stress-free as possible. Whether you’re moving for work, school, or just for a change of scenery, California has a lot to offer, from beautiful beaches to stunning mountains, and everything in between. So take the time to explore this amazing state and all it has to offer, and enjoy the journey along the way.

Hi everyone,
I’d like to apply for medical schools preferably in CA next year. I did my bachelors in Europe and I was never expecting to get the opportunity to apply for the schools in the US (since a month I’m a LPR), so I never cared about my GPA before. According to a GPA converter table my GPA is around 2.9-3.1. I worked one year on my bachelor in a lab of my university. And volunteered 3 months in a hospital helping nurses. However, I see most of the people have GPAs over 3.5 here (congratulations! btw.), but long story short; does anyone have similar experience where they could compensate their low GPA with a high MCAT score? Without doing post-bacc or SMP (if I remember correctly) and still getting accepted? Thank you in advance!

Welcome to OOTD - Outfit of the Day!

Don't have a question but want to show off your outfit? Feel free to show off details of your most recent outfits here with us! This thread is posted twice a week, on Sundays and Wednesdays.
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• Your height
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• Clothing details (e.g., brand, sizing, etc.)
• Store details

1. If you would like constructive criticism, please post CCW (Constructive Criticism Welcome) in your post in order to receive feedback from users. When posting CCW, it is helpful to mention specifically what aspect of your outfit you would like feedback on (e.g., the length, colour, overall aesthetic, etc.)
   
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I'm a 2nd-year Financial and Business Economics (FBEC) major. I want to switch from FBEC to a Hons. Double Major in Comp. Sci and Economics. I would appreciate some advice. I am ahead for my degree and would complete my degree in 3 years, but I feel FBEC restricts me to just Economics and I want to be differentiated when entering the job market, in a few years. I love Computer Science and coded my own Inventory Management System in high school. I want to continue my passion for both Economics and Computer Science. Do you guys think it's a viable decision? I have attended advising sessions and they suggest that switching would make me extend my time in York to 4 years from 3 years but I would graduate with two majors.

2023 Results (So Far): +18.78 Units
2022 Results: +73.185 Units
All Time: +92 Units

Full transparency, I run a MMA betting service called Provide Picks. We have been operating for roughly a year and a half completely tracked and verifiable with a return of over 96 units in that short time. You can find our full tracking sheet history here and you can also see a bunch of customer testimonials and betting slips throughout that time here.
Me myself, I have watched MMA religiously for more than 10 years and trained for over 4.5 years, I love this sport so I figured why not help bring some insight and analysis to others! Now this isn’t a sales pitch, I know how Reddit works and I really enjoy the opinions shared on this sub-reddit so I genuinely want to help contribute and if you enjoy the output, please feel free to join the team! We are proven to be profitable long-term so if you have some spare change to invest at any level, you love the sport and are interested in improving your knowledge - come over and check us out at providepicks.com. As we have a fair base of paying members, it wouldn’t be fair to them to share every single one of our bets however I want to provide as much value for this betting community as people, hopefully to help you guys see a different angle in terms of MMA betting and long-term profitability and more importantly - sending these bookies broke.
Anyways enough waffle - let’s get into this week’s shenanigans. This is a surprisingly fun fight night card, I love these events that are lower on name value but just full of decent talent and exciting matchups. This is definitely one of them and generally when you have slightly lesser talent stacked fight nights, you have a night full of violence and finishes - let’s see if that continues in this one. Onto the breakdowns!
Maxim Grishin (32-9-2) vs. Philipe Lins (16-5):
Grishin is a tall, orthodox fighter who is just a real good mixed martial artist. He is a big frame for the LHW division, is strong and still has fairly slow, plodding style of movement and footwork. Is good in the clinch, very good at holding position by winning underhooks and using his big head to frame against the neck of his opponent and keep them in position for taxing knees to the body and just wearing on them with his big frame. I like his ability to keep the fight in his range, using slight forward pressure and a decent feint game to his advantage. Can be a little heavy set on the lead leg so should look out for the speedy outside leg kick of Lins in this one - Grishin is also pretty handy at catching the body kick and punishing. Personally, never been massively high on Lins in his career, admittedly he has looked better since dropping to his proper weight class post juice cycle but it is against weak competition. He is OK everywhere but not great anywhere, I do like his hand-speed with his boxing combos especially when pressuring forward. I think he mixes in takedowns well in his game at times but he can also be held against the cage. I probably slightly edge Lins in terms of cardio but I also do think this is a massive watch the scales fight due to Grishin’s size and propensity for bad weight cuts. This is a tough fight to call given both guys are fairly unimpressive. I favour the speed of Lins with the hand-speed and kicks definitely but he doesn’t set them up intelligently. I think Grishin can hold Lins against the cage, wear on him with his size and win minutes. I capped this fight 50/50 and I think we see a close fight, will take Maxim Grishin by UD but with very low confidence.
BET: No bet.
Luan Lacerda (12-2) vs. Da'Mon Blackshear (12-5-1):
I like what I saw on debut from Lacerda - he has a very Muay Thai style of fighting, very flat-footed with a high guard, move forward pressuring with the lead leg ready to pop up and check kicks quickly. He has sharp, fast hands and particularly his hooks to the body are very technically sound. Against Stamann he was able to mix some grappling in when it suited but it is clear he is more of an Aldo style fighter that prefers to stuff takedowns and keep it on the feet. Coming up against Blackshear here who I have been very impressed with even though he is off 2 losses. Da’mon is a super well rounded guy, I like his creative offence on the feet and I also like his offensive grappling ability on the ground too. Defensively, he leave a little more to be desired and can be a little comfortable with fighting off his back which I don’t particularly like. We haven’t seen too much grappling from Lacerda so will be interested to see how he fares in this one but I think the technicality of Lacerda on the feet, the ability to mix his targets to the head, body and legs and just land the more damaging strikes will edge him this one. Taking Luan Lacerda by UD.
BET: No bet.
Jinh Yu Frey (11-8) vs. Elise Reed (6-3):
I would be doing a disservice to everyone who reads this if I honestly told you with any level of confidence that you should put your hard earned money anywhere near this fight. Don’t, simple as that.
Daniel Santos (10-2) vs. Johnny Munoz Jr. (12-2):
This is a super fun matchup between two very efficient grapplers which should make for a exciting scrap here. Let’s start with Daniel Santos, if you knew nothing of this guy and watched him fight and had half a clue on MMA, you would know immediately that he is a Chute Boxe fighter. He has relentless forward pressure, irresponsible boxing defence and is a very kill or be killed style fighter. I like his stalking style, but he has little head movement besides the pull counter really, likes to pressure you until that back foot is up against the cage and then explode in with spinning attacks or elbows from weird angles. He keeps his hands high but then head on centre line and thus far has shown some crazy durability but this can only get you so far. Looks to have solid grappling, not accepting bottom position and constantly looking to invert and throw up submissions. Against Arce he looked good however Arce was able to be elusive with his footwork, stick and move and use angles well to counter in and out of range. I think against anyone who can effectively stay on the outside and use smart, straight shots effectively, he will struggle. I just don’t think that guy is Munoz JR on the feet - he is clunky, doesn’t throw in combinations and looks to parry alot of shots defensively which I really don’t like against a guy who throws wild, unorthodox strikes in Santos. He is a solid wrestler with some good offensive TD numbers but he has to be careful not to shoot unintelligently and throw himself into a submission which will make him hesitant and have to strike. I think Munoz’s wins have been against low level guys who aren’t in the promotion anymore and I think this is a bad stylistic fight for him. I think Santos will land the more damaging shots and I fancy he gets him out of here in under 2 rounds. Taking Daniel Santos via TKO RD 1.
BET: Like the look of the Santos moneyline, fancy Santos Inside the Distance too but will wait to see what price this opens at. If we get anything in the realm of +125 to -120, I would look at a 1.5 unit play. Under 2.5 rounds is an option also depending on price, I think it will probably be around the -200 to -250 play so anything south of that will be a play too.
Andrei Arlovski (34-21) vs. Don'Tale Mayes (9-5):
Huge experience edge to the old-dawg here in Arlovski. Mayes has been everything but impressive thus far in his UFC career and I don’t know how you could be intrigued to play either side in this one. Mayes can hit hard and is reasonably athletic for the HW division but skill for skill outside the boxing, he doesn’t offer a lot. I couldn’t be confident on ever betting him to be quite honest. You know what you’re going to get with Arlovski and that is volume, if his chin can handle what is coming back at him. He is a special for split decisions so if you’re a degen and want action, look to that but for me, no interest here. Will take the side of Andrei Arlovksi via UD using his volume and experience but you couldn’t be more lower confidence.
John Castañeda (19-6) vs. Muin Gafurov (18-4) :
Gafurov taking this on short-notice with Castaneda set to take on Mendonca before that was cancelled and replaced with possibly the furthest opposite style of fighter. The Gafurov gameplan is simple, contest on the feet, use blitz attacks such as looping overhands when moving forward followed by a double leg against the cage and rely on his Sambo capabilities to hold top position and out-work his opponent. Castañeda is a guy that doesnt get a huge amount of spotlight but I like his game alot. He has nice footwork, good striking out of southpaw and orthodox, has good wrestling entries and is able to grapple competitively, just a solid all around mixed martial artist. In this one, I really favour the movement and footwork of Castañeda and I think the speed is going to give Gafurov issues. Castañeda is sitting at a 60% TD Defence rate which is concerning against a guy who will consistently shoot like Gafurov, but I think Castañeda will be hard to find, using the angles in and out of the pocket and throwing quick shots up the middle to dissuade and make Gafurov think. I like John Sexi Mexi Castañeda to win this one by UD.
BET: No lines opened yet but have capped Castañeda as a 60% winning chance.
Elizeu Zaleski (23-7) vs. Abubakar Nurmagomedov (17-3-1):
Zaleski is an interesting fighter to me. Good sprawl, solid TD Def against the cage, good balance and strength to win underhooks. Quite a flat-footed striker, not a massive amount of footwork but I like his rear leg power kick, he hits the body well and switches levels nicely. Relatively low volume and works single shots mainly without a massive amount of feinting. The frequency that he fights worries me but it has been the story of his career. Abubakr is the typical Dagestani fighter, limited stand up basically a quick overhand right and other single shots, tied in with a grinding, gruelling wrestling pace. He seems on the lower end of the Nurmagomedov scale in terms of skill, often leaving himself open to submission when in top control whether it’s knee-bars or even the common triangle. He is able to hold a good pace over 15 mins which is good given how top heavy and smothering he can be at times. He fights out of both stances, looks more comfortable out of OD but if he fights SP, I think he will lose this fight. Zaleski is too sharp on the feet especially with the body kicks and straight shots which will only be accentuated in the opposite stances. I also think the knees for Zaleski are going to be huge here, he throws them with bad intentions in the centre and against the cage which tied in with his teeps and front kicks are a dangerous sight for Abubakr. Abubakr is a good chance at smothering the fire power of Zaleski and just wearing on him but I think he is dangerous enough off his back to survive and challenge at times and I expect the damage will start to add up on the Zaleski side and I think we see a finish. Taking Elizeu Zaleski via TKO RD 2.
BET: Zaleksi ITD will be a play if over +200. Moneyline odds are probably bang on.
Guram Kutateladze (12-3) vs. Jamie Mullarkey (16-5):
Guram has a K1 kickboxing background and it shows, very high level on the feet with good head movement and sharp, unpredictable strikes set up with a smart feint game. He has really good distance management, uses great fundamentals and is super quick with his hand-speed and he finishes combos with kicks which I love, its that kickboxing mentality. He fights out of All Stars which shows in his TD Defence especially against the fence, he is clearly strong but has very good wrestling and counter wrestling technique. He has had a super high level of competition and performed very well in wins and losses, we just don’t see him active enough due to injuries and bad luck. Mullarkey is an absolute junkyard dog, pushing the pace and moving forward with intense pressure making you fight every second of that 15 minutes. He like to engage in the pocket, for better or worse, and in recent times we have seen his wrestling really shine through some of these tough scraps. He has a nice jab which I expect to be pumping prior to every combo and entry for Mullarkey. I just think at this point in his career this is quite a tough fight for Mullarkey. Guram is a super high-level striker with a good base for stuffing takedowns and keeping the fight in kickboxing range. I expect Mullarkey to want to close distance and engage, I just don’t think defensively he is strong enough to absorb and adapt to the speed and combinations of Guram and I think we see that chin tested for Mullarkey. I think this is a bit of a step down in competition for Guram although if Mullarkey can get some early takedowns it will be interesting to see the gastank of Guram tested. The activity is always a question mark but at this point I think Guram should win this handily, will be taking Guram Kutateladze via TKO RD 2.
BET: Wouldn’t touch Guram at -350 but he should win.
Karine Silva (15-4) vs. Ketlen Souza (13-3):
Silva should win here but at that price, even blind Freddie could see that this is a pass on the moneylines. Silva actually has a high finishing ability in terms of WMMA, so if we can get a good price on a fight doesnt go the distance line, that could be an option here.
BET: Wait for round lines to drop.
Tim Elliott (18-12-1) vs. Victor Altamirano (12-2):
Altamirano is a SP fighter, fairly unusual style of striking with sort of a Tony Ferguson style mixed in with some well timed takedown attempts. He has very little power in his strikes but OK volume. Defensively, he leaves a lot to be desired with a modified sort of philly shell style where his lead hand is low and near the hip, he does get hit and often but he has shown very good durability. His takedowns worry me at times because he is very content to dip his head to an advancing opponent and run a double or single leg, he is very open to knees and front kicks up the middle. Tim Elliott lives up to his nickname of “Awkward” extremely well. He has bizarre head movement, footwork and feints that all tie in to his sort of herky jerky style of fighting. He is able to tie his wrestling game in very well, I’d say technically he is far more technically sound than Victor. He does put himself into submission opportunities with some of his entries but im not too worried about that in this fight. This has the potential to be one of the worst fights we have seen TBH and only because of how weird and unorthodox these guys are, the awkwardness really has the potential to make this fight a strange one. I am pretty confident that Tim has the grappling/wrestling edge and also the more diverse and comfortable striker, the recent occurrence with Tim and Gina Mazany in the media does give me pause that he might be coming into this too emotional but I think it may fire him up to really perform. I think Tim is under his value here and can win in a multitude of ways, going to take Tim Elliott via UD.
BET: Tim Elliott Moneyline -175 (2 Units to win 1.14 Units)
Jim Miller (35-17) vs. Jared Gordon (19-6):
I will keep this one short and simple, Gordon is a really bad stylistic matchup for Miller and would win probably 7/10 times currently BUT he is returning way too soon after getting KO’d by that headbutt from Bobby Green. Gordon has good wrestling and generally good durability with a knack for pushing these grinding paces and outworking and outlasting his opponent. Pair that up with good submission defence and thats a horror fight for A10 Miller. But you can never count Jim out, he hits hard for a vet, he is unorthodox and he has the potential to catch you. For me, Gordon should roll here but I love to play Jim Miller round one given that is his money round - have cashed plenty on this through his career! Short breakdown and not a thorough one, I think Jared Gordon should win this fight but I think it is too soon. I will take Jared Gordon via UD**,** but take it with a pinch of salt.
BET: Jim Miller wins round 1 (price not available yet, .75 units)
Alex Caceres (20-13) vs. Daniel Pineda (28-14):
Haven’t had time to break this one down yet but will update if any bets come off it!
Kai Kara-France (24-10) vs. Amir Albazi (16-1):
KKF is a kickboxing fighter who we have seen develop nicely through his career in the UFC. He has worked tirelessly on his takedown defence and it shows in his huge improvement in ability to not only stuff shots but his ability to use the cage and his excellent balance to keep his feet underneath him. I think KKF’s hands are still fairly rudimentary and not necessarily in a bad way, he uses the jab decently well and relies on the 1,2 sometimes too much. For his weight, he has good power and one area I really like are his leg kicks, he has solid rear leg power kicks that he lands very efficiently off the back of his straight shots. Albazi is more of a grappler in nature with a majority of his victories by submission but I have liked what I have seen from him on the feet also. He has a sharp, snappy jab which he works off the back of and allows to dictate the fight. He has a pretty limited kicking game and in terms of kick defence, I expect KKF to really try and exploit the lack of checking and the heavy set stature of Albazi. In the grappling realm, I don’t think it’s close. Albazi has some elite scrambles on the mat and if you’re content to sit in his guard, he has some really damaging ground and pound in which he will equally target your head and body and punish you and wear on you. Albazi is far superior in terms of grappling but the question is will he be able to get it down to the mat? I think his timing going under the big right hand will be an option and I think he will be able to use his strength advantage when in close to muscle certain movements. This is a big step up in competition and his first venture into main event rounds which is a worry. This is going to be a fun fight and I am really looking forward to it but I think as long as everything looks good after weigh-ins, I will be on the Albazi side. He is improving with every fight and I think we see him get this fight to the ground and wear on KKF, eventually finding a submission, probably a RNC. Taking Amir Albazi via SUB RD 3.
BET: Will wait to see what round lines are set at. Will be looking at the Albazi Inside the Distance line also.
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And that wraps up the breakdowns for this week! We send our followers the full betting cards on Saturday morning here in Australia, post weigh-ins. Nothing worse than betting on a fighter pre weigh-in, just to see him look like complete shit on the scales. We will post some of our betting card here incase anyone is interested!
Good luck, always gamble responsibly and remember to hang around long-term because there will be ups and downs but trust the process and we will build some bankroll. Would love to know if you agree or disagree anywhere and let us know who you are riding with below. Enjoy the fights! - Dylan.

Hi hi,
Mod team would like to request feedback on AMAs. All feedback is most welcome, but in order to give some structure to this discussion, we wanted to share prompts.
1) Content moderation

• Context: We agree that all difficult questions including criticism, questions on politics, calling out hypocrisies etc will be allowed and expected.
• Prompts: The most laissez-faire approach will be to allow all questions and let the artist (or downvotes) decide whether or not to answer the question in the spirit of keeping this space truly free. A more moderate approach would be to be a little careful during AMAs and treat the artist as a guest - so the mods would lock "extremely rude" questions. Examples include targeting an artist with sexual innuendos or couching personal attacks as questions. Mod action should be very rare. Which approach do we prefer?

2) Which artists to call?

• Context: See, it's easy to say YS ko lao, but we don't have a roster of top ~50 artists dying to be here. Some aren't interested, some don't have time for months on end and it's difficult to even get hold of some. Also, some artists might be super engaged here and some might keep it high-level and bounce after answering few questions - so there might be little correlation between the qual of the artist and the qual of the answers / engagement. We cast a wide enough net to get artists - in the hopes that the music and answers with work for a critical mass of people (no single artist can't make everyone happy).
• Prompts: Do we need a selection criteria? How stringent so we want to be (e.g., we don't want to talk to anyone without XXX in Spotify listeners or we only want to talk to tier #1 artists - if that means a few AMAs per year, then that's fine)? Also, you can like their music and answers OR not like their music but like their answers OR like some of their music and some of their answers - is the AMA still valuable for the community across all these scenarios or do we want to gatekeep and call only certain artists based on a criteria? Obviously, I'm excluding a scenario where we neither fuck with artist or their answers potentially (e.g., Shubh, Rob C).

3) Timing, titles, format and frequency

• Context: We'll reveal the artist in advance instead of masking it, and will keep the titles clean and formal. Our sub is most active around 6.30 pm, toh we try and schedule AMAs around this time.
• Prompts: Any other feedback on format? We have a run rate of 1 AMA per month on average, do we want more or less?

Thank you - all thoughts and feedback is most welcome, even beyond the prompts. 🙏
P.S: Someone suggested not calling artists for AMAs, and only engaging with those who reach out to us. Had we not called artists, only 2 out of ~18 AMAs would have happened. AMAs are a critical part of this community so we are not re-litigating this, unless y'all feel otherwise in the comments section, in which case we will do what you say.

It’s happened before, during my last year of high school I would find myself staring at the wall for an hour instead of doing the piles of work I had sitting in a corner. I couldn’t even find the energy to brush my teeth some nights. Disgusting I know, please don’t judge me. I managed to pick myself up again in the first year of uni, and god, I have no clue how I did it, it might’ve been the 3 month break between high school and uni that brought me back or the excitement for starting new, who knows. Now here I am, in the same shitty situation. It’s been 4 years since that dark shitty time and I’m back again. I finished my bachelors degree and now I’m doing my masters, but I’m so tired. I keep finding myself procrastinating, pacing around, staring at blank walls again, I’m neglecting physical hygiene now too because I leave things to the last minute and have no time for anything else other than getting the work done for the next day. I hate myself to the core, how do I pick myself up again? I don’t want to continue falling asleep every night hating myself to the core. Please help me.

1
I live in a suburb surrounded by forest. My house is in a row of other properties built next to a tree line. The neighborhood was always quiet. The sounds of crickets, birds, and sight of black bears were routine on most summer days.
The scenic area was something I was always grateful for. I lived completely alone since the death of my parents. An accidental fire took both of their lives. Once I collected my inheritance, I relocated to a much more peaceful region. I had always fantasized about moving there.
I tried to start a relationship with Samantha. I had gone to High School with her sixteen years before. She had gone on to become a respected Detective. My attempt at something long lasting with her failed. She was too career oriented. I was reeling from grief. Focusing on building something meaningful with her was a pipe dream.
Things around my community changed once the Murphy family went missing.
The first sign that something was off on that Wednesday was how their blinds had closed. Their silver Chevy Chrysler remained parked in the driveway.
A tennis instructor at the country club noticed the wife of that house did not show up for the program. He called their number to make sure everything was alright. When no one responded, he notified the authorities. Rumors abounded immediately among the home owners association about an alleged affair. The gossip only furthered when the married couple and their three kids were not found in the abode.
I watched from my balcony as the patrolmen roped the place off with caution tape. The domicile was a three story building with brick chimney’s and a few peaked roofs in the style of English towers. They were beige, light blue and crimson.
On the morning of the Murphy’s desertion of society, the architecture became a hollow image. It was one that was once filled with activity and life.
The law did what they could. Any success they may have had in the investigation was secret. A few months passed by and they removed the caution tape.
I followed the on-line police logs. The weather was pristine and clear the day they vanished. The fact that there were no witnesses to what direction they may have gone disturbed me.
I had heard how the man, Frank Murphy, had a bit of a temper and always had a bourbon in hand. I had heard mutual friends describe him as an alcoholic in denial of his servitude to liquor. He was an indignant individual who knew no true repercussions for his behavior. He always had bail money from a software company he founded and sold a long time ago.
I was never close to that family, but I peered out at their vacant house far more than I ever had. I was in need of an answer. What could have happened?
2
I called Samantha one evening as I sat on my bed, wondering how she would respond to my reaching out. We were never argumentative or on bad terms. I still worried about her reaction, and hoped it would not be a dismissive one.
I heard her say hello. Her voice still impressed me. I had almost forgotten how silky her tone was. I knew it could change to a much firmer pitch when she was interviewing a suspect.
“Hi, Sam. I’d like to know if you’d be free tomorrow for a cup of coffee. We can go to that place, The Bean Field, off Pond road. It’s been a while and I know you have a lot to tell me about what’s new in your life.”
There was a pause on the other end, and for a second a bout of anxiety hit me. I judged my own words as robotic, stilted, and sure to push her away. I reasoned she was summoning an excuse to get out of having to interact with me. How dare I presume she would even entertain the notion of having a meeting.
“That sounds great,” she said. “Tomorrow is my day off, luckily for you. I’m in the middle of an incident right now. It’s a five car pile-up about forty minutes from where you live. I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
When she hung up, I was triumphant. I looked at our old text conversations. I realized we had not been in communication with each other for over twelve months. Now was my opportunity to reconcile that gap of unintended avoidance. I knew it would be an undeserved opportunity.
3
I sat outside of the cafe the next morning at a black metal table. I had a view of rolling hills dotted with trees. A highway with multitudinous shrubberies sat on either side of it. I sipped a piccolo latte while waiting for her.
When she arrived and stepped out of her hatchback in the parking lot, her appearance floored me. She had not dressed up for our supposed date, but that did not make a difference. She had arrived from the gym and wore shorts and a top set. She donned a gray and green hoodie.
She sat across from me and reached for the menu.
“Can you go to the front and order me avocado toast?” Samantha asked. “I’ll also take a mocha with a few shots of espresso. Please.”
I did exactly that. When I returned with her items, she apologized for consuming her meal in less than two minutes.
“I hadn’t eaten since five PM yesterday,” she said between sips.
“I understand,” I said. “I doubt you ever have a consistent schedule anymore.”
“You’re right, but that’s why I have to enjoy my free time when I can.”
We settled into talking about what had happened since we last saw each other. I referenced my trying to learn another language (French) with the hopes of moving to Europe or Canada.
After fifteen minutes of small talk, I asked her about work, but I did so with caution. It started with me wondering about what the call she was on when we were on the phone was about.
“A drunk driver blew a stop sign and hit two other vehicles,” she said. “It was ugly. A few people died. We’ll see if the man in silk pajamas gives him the proper sentence or a traffic citation.”
“You know, I’m curious about what happened to the Murphy’s, if they’re hurt or not.”
“You and everyone else,” she said. “We’ve been getting so many witness accounts, and so far they’ve all been bogus. All I know is what I saw when I got there.”
“I didn’t know you were one of the responders,” I said.
“Yeah. Something about the place was off from the moment I walked in. I found heavy items in placed they should not have been in. The toolbox was not in the garage but on the second story. A disassembled snowblower lay scattered everywhere in pieces. The oven door was on their bed. Frank Murphy was not the strongest guy in the world, either. For him to cause the kind of property damage I saw doesn’t make a lot of sense. At the risk of sounding crazy, inexplicable things happened when I was there.”
“Like what?”
“I was under the impression that something was playing a trick on me. Electrical outlets sparked a few times out of nowhere. The ceiling fan would go from still to spinning when I looked up at it. Books would fall off of the shelves. A volume on black magic, of all things, almost hit the top of my head when I walked on by. Another book about fairies collapsed with it.”
“So the home intruder set up a bunch of weird diversions,” I said. “I’ve heard of that before. These killers or kidnappers want the victims to think there was more than one of them. It’s so their account’s disputed in court.”
I’ll tell you right now,” she said, “we didn’t find any outside DNA.”
“So it’s a case of family annihilation,” I said as I took a long swig of my beverage. “I don’t know if you can substantiate the facts, but a few people have said that Emily had a big life insurance policy. Frank knew about. He may have been using steroids and having an affair, and that could have contributed to-“
It occurred to me that she eyed me with suspicion, as though I was digging too deep. I could also tell she regretted letting information about the forensic results slip.
She stood up and stared at me with a flash of anger in her eyes.
“I thought you wanted to piece something back together with me,” she said. “I didn’t know you wanted to play armchair investigator like every true crime fan. You know, your parents were kind. I wish you’d follow their example. I’ll let you get the bill.”
She walked back to her vehicle and I knew it would be a while before we conversed again.
Later that night, I stared out my window at the Murphy home. I saw a star shoot across the sky, and it almost seemed ready to plummet into the side of their house.
4
The next evening, I took a walk around the suburb. I spotted a thin line of dried red fluid along a path which led into the woods.
I was attempting to get in some movement to get my mind off of the events of the day before. Negativity and self-deprecation were all-consuming. I felt the need for a long saunter to try and release some of the meandering and pessimistic energy I accrued.
When I saw the carmine ribbon along the dark soil, a sense of worry filled me. I was not that far removed from a cul-de-sac with palatial manors a block away. There was no way I could speculate on me being the first to see it.
Could it be a hint where they are? I thought.
The notion seemed absurd, a reach.
I had read in the local newspaper that there was an uptick in bobcat sightings due to recent wildfires. The animals relocated during prior summers. I reasoned it could have been a house pet which became a victim after it got snatched away into the overgrowth.
I followed it, and the uneven road of red stretched on past many bushes and over logs. A shrill chirping in the background became louder. I moved between two conifers with petrified wood and found myself in a part of the forest I had never been in.
There were so many branches that it blacked out the falling sun. Ahead of me was a clearing. A swarm of gnats and mosquitos descended upon it. The sea of insects soared together in chaotic unison as a wave among the sedges and lichen.
I looked towards the right of the meadow and saw a ramshackle tree house. I trailed the red line towards it. I peered in through one of the windows and saw a statue of a woman with wings. I knew she was not an angel. There was no halo, nor were her organs of flight feathery, but rather they were thin and bat-like.
I entered the place knowing the danger I was putting myself in. I had tracked mud in and was oblivious to the incriminating actions I partook in. I was trespassing and risking stumbling into whoever may have owned the land. My curiosity got the better of me and caused me to keep moving forward.
The room was sparse but decorated. The walls had carvings of men and women, also with wings. Their bodies held yogic-like positions as they reached out to one another mid-air.
A piece of parchment with a few words sat in the corner. I picked it up and read it:
‘Humans are the greatest living beings to play tricks on. Especially when they go through a time of drought and extreme cold.’
I sat it down where I found it, unsure of what to make of it.
I touched the central figure’s neck. The chiseling was not only cold, but below freezing, as though I had submerged my hand in a polar pool.
The noise of some kind of bird attempting to escape a confined space reverberated below me.
Something brushed against my leg. I looked down and saw an army of glow bugs float up between the cracks, and they circled around me. They were like dragon flies. At the time I had labeled them as such, but in reality their shapes were far too humanoid.
I walked back home. I went to bed and slept. I was still perturbed at the wine-colored avenue and cabin.
I awoke in the middle of the night after something tapped at my walls from the outside. I peered out and saw the Murphy home, and observed how the blinds over their casements were wide open. A hive of mites filled every inch of the interior.
5
I found the decomposing body of a chipmunk stuffed into the tailpipe of my vehicle the next day.
This horrified me, because the deliberation of the act was too evident to ignore. While I did have a surveillance camera on my porch, the coverage of my vehicle was non-existent. I calmed myself down by thinking it was likely a tempestuous child. I retrieved a pair of medical gloves and disposed of the creature before going on with the errand. The rotting body had a horrible smell. It was like an onion left out in humidity for days, and my stomach turned as I sealed it off in the garbage with the lid.
The next morning, I looked in my closet. Some of my favorite shirts had disintegrated. Holes and patches of destroyed fabric littered them. I found it odd, and even searched on-line for possible answers before I decided it had to be a moth infestation. I sprayed lavender. Information on a website statEd that was a cure-all, but the problem persisted. It bothered me that I had not seen a single aphid, but I pushed that concern away.
A few days afterward, when I had tossed my disheveled pieces of attire, the power in my house went out. This was not such an unusual occurrence during the heavy winter months. For it to occur in the summer was strange.
It was a rolling blackout. Once my house had electricity again, I noticed how someone moved items around.
Something turned my kitchen table on its side and stuffed into a part of the kitchen I would have never placed it in.
I grabbed a butcher knife and did a sweep of the premises, and I did not find anything. There were no footprints or signs of anything else tampered with. When I got to the second story, birds nested along the tree tops, and the repugnant odor of fish attacked me.
My allergies became insufferable over the next month. Nothing purchased over the counter which helped it.
6
I went to the beach on an overcast day. After roughly half a mile of walking, I saw an illustration someone had drawn in the sand with a stick. It was of a being with airfoils.
A light precipitation had fallen earlier. As I trailed along the former part of the sand, a glint in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked out at the water and saw what appeared to be a light blue outline of wings beneath the surface.
A phosphorescent wall of creatures surrounded me.
As the days march on, I know I am stalked by something I cannot rebel against, let alone have any agency or autonomy over. My pillowcases have shredded, the pipes in my basement have burst, and someone left me a gift at my front door. When I opened it, I saw mice scurry away. It was a book, and it was one about the history of fairies.
I picked it up and had to blow the dust off of it. Someone had stolen it from a musty subterranean chamber and brought it here.
I theorized that it was Samantha, passive aggressive with her disappointment in me. Yet I flip through its pages and find it all too familiar. I cannot help but wonder if this is a sign of something far more dangerous.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

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★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

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★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

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★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

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★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

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★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

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★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

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★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

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★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

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★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

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★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

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★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

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★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

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★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

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★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

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★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

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★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

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★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

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★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

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★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

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AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

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Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

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M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

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M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

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USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

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AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.