What, is there something special happening today? Hold on, let me grab my calendar book from my chiseled bookshelf.
Oh, it's time for Trails & Tales! How could I forget? Time to equip your new brush and ride your camel off to new adventures!
This update can also be found on minecraft.net.

New Features

• All features and changes from the "Update 1.20" experimental pack are now part of the game
• Added Archaeology
• Added Sniffer mob, Torchflowers and Pitcher Plants
• Added Camel mob
• Added Smithing Template items and redesigned the Smithing Table
  • Added a new armor trimming system to visually customize your armor
  • Changed how Netherite equipment is crafted
• Added the Cherry Grove biome and Cherry Wood Set
• Added the Bamboo Wood Set
• Added the Chiseled Bookshelf block
• Added Hanging Signs
• Improved customization options for Signs
• Added the Calibrated Sculk Sensor block
• Vibration resonance functionality has been added to Blocks of Amethyst
• Added playable mob sounds with Mob Heads on Note Blocks
• Added Piglin Mob Head
• New music tracks added to Cherry Groves, Desert, Jungle, Badlands, and Flower Forest biomes
• New Trails & Tales Advancements
• Added support for Windows Aarch64/ARM64

Archaeology

• Added craftable Brush item
• Added Suspicious Sand and Suspicious Gravel
  • Suspicious Sand can be found in Desert Temples, Desert Wells and Warm Ocean Ruins
  • Suspicious Gravel can be found in Cold Ocean Ruins and Trail Ruins
  • These fragile blocks are hard to spot and easy to destroy, so be careful!
  • Brushing Suspicious Sand or Suspicious Gravel with a Brush will extract objects that were buried long ago
• Added the Trail Ruins, a buried structure from a lost culture
  • Four types of Armor Trim Templates can be found here
  • Trail Ruins can be found in Taigas, Snowy Taigas, all Old Growth forest biomes and Jungles
  • A new music disc can be found by brushing suspicious blocks in this structure
  • When put in a Jukebox, "Relic" by Aaron Cherof is played
• Added Pottery Sherds
  • Pottery Sherds have pictures on them
  • A total of 20 sherd have been distributed between the 5 Archaeology sites: Desert Wells, Desert Temples, Cold Ocean Ruins, Warm Ocean Ruins, and Trail Ruins
  • They cannot be crafted, and are only found by brushing Suspicious Sand or Suspicious Gravel

Decorated Pots

• Crafting four Pottery Sherds together will create a Decorated Pot with a picture on each side
• Brick items can be used instead of Pottery Sherds in the Decorated Pot recipe
  • The sides that were made from Brick items will not have pictures
• Smash a Decorated Pot with any block-breaking tool to break it apart and get the Pottery Sherds back
  • Hitting the pot with bare hands, silk touch tools, or any other item will drop an intact pot instead
• Crafted Decorated Pots with at least one pattern have a hover tooltip displaying the Sherd & Brick ingredients

Sniffer

• The Sniffer is the mob vote winner of Minecraft Live 2022
• Sniffers are passive, friendly mobs
• Sniffers sniff the air and occasionally dig for seeds, which produces a Torchflower Seed or a Pitcher Pod item
• Sniffers can only dig grass and dirt-like blocks
• Sniffers can be tempted by, and bred with Torchflowers Seeds

Sniffer Egg

• Can be found by brushing the Suspicious Sand of Warm Ocean Ruins
• When two Sniffers breed they do not immediately spawn a Snifflet; instead, a Sniffer Egg is dropped
• When placed in the world, the Sniffer Egg will hatch after some time
  • When placed on Moss, the Egg will hatch in approximately 10 minutes
  • On all other blocks, it will hatch in approximately 20 minutes

Torchflowers

• The Sniffer can occasionally sniff up a Torchflowers seed, and it can be used to breed two Sniffers
• The Torchflower seed can be planted on Farmland and grows into a Torchflower
• The full-grown flower can be harvested and replanted
• The Torchflower can be crafted into Orange Dye

Pitcher Plant

• The Sniffer can occasionally sniff up a Pitcher Pod item
• The Pitcher Pod, when planted on Farmland, grows into a Pitcher Crop
• The Pitcher Crop has five growth stages
• Once fully grown, the Pitcher Crop can be harvested, yielding a two-block-tall Pitcher Plant
• The Pitcher Plant can be crafted into Cyan Dye

Camel

• Camels can be equipped with a Saddle and ridden by two players
• Camels spawn naturally when Desert Villages generate
• Camels can be tempted by holding Cactus
• Feed Cactus to Camels to breed them
• Camels are tall
  • Most hostile mobs will not be able to reach you when you are on a Camel
  • They can walk over Fences and Walls
• Camels randomly sit down
  • While sitting, it is difficult to convince them to move
• Camels can either walk slowly or sprint quickly
• They can also dash forward but will lose stamina for a while when doing so

Smithing

• Smithing Tables have been redesigned into a workstation for physical equipment upgrades and modifications
• Alongside slots for combining a piece of equipment and materials, there is now a required slot for an item type called Smithing Template
• Smithing Templates define what type of upgrade you will be making to a piece of equipment
  • It specifies both what type of items you can upgrade, and which ingredients are valid to customize the upgrade
  • There are currently two categories of Smithing Templates: Armor Trim and Netherite Upgrade
• Smithing Templates are consumed when used to upgrade an item in the Smithing Table
• You can craft a copy of a Smithing Template in the Crafting Table with 7 diamonds + 1 block of material that the template is made out of + 1 smithing template, which will output 2 of the same Smithing Template

Netherite Equipment

• Netherite equipment crafting now also requires a Netherite Upgrade Smithing Template
• Netherite Upgrade Smithing Templates can be found randomly in all Bastion Remnant chests
  • Every Treasure Room Bastion Remnant will contain 2 Smithing Templates
• This change was made for a variety of reasons:
  • Increase the time players utilize Diamond equipment before Netherite
  • Make Netherite equipment more significant achievement in the game's progression
  • Adapt Netherite more naturally into the new Smithing Table crafting system

Armor Trims

• You can now visually customize your armor with a variety of unique trims at the Smithing Table
• Armor trims are purely visual with no gameplay benefits
• Armor trims can be applied to Helmets, Chestplates, Leggings and Boots
  • All trim patterns are visually the same on an armor's item icon, but the color will still change based on the trim material
  • To check which trim pattern a piece of armor has, you can hover over it in the inventory
• Armor Trim Smithing Templates can be found all throughout the world, and each of the following structures contain their own unique Smithing Templates:
  • Trail Ruins: Wayfinder, Raiser, Shaper, and Host Armor Trims
  • Pillager Outpost: Sentry Armor Trim
  • Desert Pyramid: Dune Armor Trim
  • Shipwreck: Coast Armor Trim
  • Jungle Temple: Wild Armor Trim
  • Ocean Monument: Tide Armor Trim
  • Ancient City: Ward and Silence Armor Trims
  • Woodland Mansion: Vex Armor Trim
  • Nether Fortress: Rib Armor Trim
  • Bastion Remnant: Snout Armor Trim
  • Stronghold: Eye Armor Trim
  • End City: Spire Armor Trim
• Smithing Templates are found in chests in their respective structure
  • Trail Ruins have no chests, Smithing Templates are instead found by brushing Suspicious Gravel
  • The Ocean Monument has no chests, Elder Guardians sometimes instead drop a Smithing Template upon death
• Some Armor Trim Smithing Templates are rarer than others, so be on the lookout for them to impress your friends!
• An armor trim has two properties: a pattern and a material
  • The pattern is defined by the Smithing Template used to apply the trim, and represents the visual pattern of the trim
  • The material is defined by which ingredient you used to apply the trim, and controls the color of the trim
• The viable ingredients you can use to define the color of your armor trim are the following:
  • Iron, Copper, Gold, Lapis, Emerald, Diamond, Netherite, Redstone, Amethyst, Quartz

Cherry Groves

• Added a new Cherry Grove biome, with pretty cherry blossom trees
  • The biome can be found in the mountains, in similar places as Meadows
• Added a new Cherry wood set, with all the corresponding wooden things you can craft from it
• Pink particles fall from beneath Cherry Leaves
• Added a new Pink Petals block with lots of pink flowers on the ground
  • Each Pink Petal block can contain up to 4 petals
  • Using Bone Meal on it increases the number of petals
  • Placing a Pink Petal into an already placed block increases the number of petals
  • Drops the number of petals in the block when mined

Bamboo Wood Set

• Added a new Bamboo wood set, with all the corresponding wooden things you can craft from it
• Block of Bamboo can be crafted from 9 Bamboo and can be stripped like other wood logs
• Bamboo Planks crafted from Block of Bamboo yield only 2 planks compared to 4 for wood logs
• Added a new "Mosaic" plank variant that is unique to Bamboo called the Bamboo Mosaic
  • It can be crafted with 1x2 Bamboo Slabs in a vertical strip
  • You can craft Stair and Slab variants of Bamboo Mosaic
  • Bamboo Mosaic blocks cannot be used as a crafting ingredient where other wooden blocks are used, but they can be used as fuel
• Added a unique Bamboo Raft and Bamboo Chest Raft which can be crafted like normal boats, but with Bamboo Planks
  • They function the same as ordinary boats, but have a unique look to them

Chiseled Bookshelf

• A new, chiseled variation of the Bookshelf
• Crafted with 6 planks and 3 wooden slabs
• Can store Books, Book and Quills, Written Books, Enchanted Books, and Knowledge Books
  • Holds up to 6 books
  • These can be added or removed from any slot by targeting the specific slot
• The Comparator signal strength corresponds to the number of the last book that was inserted or removed
  • The numbering of book slots starts from 1 at the top-left, and increments from left-to-right
• Works with Hoppers

Hanging Signs

• Hanging Signs are a more expensive version of normal Signs
  • Crafted with 2 chains and 6 stripped logs of your preferred wood type
  • Crafting results in 6 Hanging Signs
• Can be hung up in the following ways:
  • Underneath a block that can provide support in the center, like a full block or a fence
  • Attached to the solid side of a block
  • Attached to the side or underneath another Hanging Sign
• Unlike normal Signs, they cannot be placed directly on the ground without support from the side or above
  • However, Hanging Signs that have a horizontal bar will not pop when the supporting block is removed

Signs

The following changes have been made for both Signs and Hanging Signs. - Sign text can now be edited after being placed in the world - This can be done by interacting with the Sign - Signs with non-text chat components can not be edited - Both sides of the Sign can now have separate text and colors, allowing for further customization options - By default, a Sign will prompt you to input the front side's text when placed - To apply text to the back-side, you must walk to the other side and interact with that face to edit it - Signs can now also be waxed with Honeycomb, preventing any further edits to its text - Opening the sign edit screen in singleplayer no longer pauses the game

Calibrated Sculk Sensors

• A new variant of Sculk Sensors that allows you to filter vibrations based on their frequency level
• They are not found naturally and can only be crafted with 1 Sculk Sensor and 3 Amethyst Shards in the Crafting Table
• One side of the Calibrated Sculk Sensor can receive a redstone signal as input
  • The strength of that redstone signal is the only vibration frequency the Sculk Sensor will listen to
• They have a combined active and cooldown phase that lasts 20 game ticks
  • They output their redstone signal for the first 10 game ticks
• They can detect vibrations up to 16 blocks away

Vibration Resonance

• Blocks of Amethyst have a new behavior when placed adjacent to Sculk Sensors
  • If that Sculk Sensor receives a vibration, the Block of Amethyst will re-emit its frequency as a separate vibration at its location
• This behavior is called Vibration Resonance, and allows players to move vibration frequencies across long distances without having to recreate the vibration naturally

Playable Mob Sounds

• When placing a Mob Head on a Note Block, that Note Block will now play one of the ambient sounds of that mob when played by a player or powered by Redstone
• Mob Heads can be placed on top of Note Blocks without sneaking

Piglin Mob Head

• Piglins will now drop their heads when killed by a charged Creeper
• Placing the Piglin head on a Note Block will play one of the Piglin's ambient sounds
• The Piglin head will flap its ears when powered by Redstone, or when worn by a player while walking

New Music

• Added the following new music tracks by Aaron Cherof to Cherry Groves, Desert, Jungle, Badlands, and Flower Forest biomes:
  • A Familiar Room
  • Bromeliad
  • Crescent Dunes
  • Echo in the Wind
• Added a new music disc with the track "Relic" by Aaron Cherof, found in Trail Ruins

Windows Aarch64/ARM64 support

• Minecraft Java Edition is now fully supported on Windows devices using an Aarch64/ARM64 architecture, such as the Windows Surface Pro X

Advancements

New Husbandry Advancements

• Smells Interesting : Obtain a Sniffer Egg
• Little Sniffs : Feed a Snifflet (requires Smells interesting)
• Planting the Past : Plant any Sniffer seed (requires Little sniffs)

New Adventure Advancements

• Respecting the Remnants : Brush a Suspicious block to obtain a Pottery Sherd
• Careful Restoration : Make a Decorated Pot out of 4 Pottery Sherds (requires Respecting the Remnants)
• Crafting a New Look : Craft a trimmed armor at a Smithing Table
• Smithing with Style : Apply these Trim Smithing Templates at least once: Spire, Snout, Rib, Ward, Silence, Vex, Tide, Wayfinder (requires Crafting a New Look)
• The Power of Books : Read the power signal of a Chiseled Bookshelf using a Comparator

Changes

• Changes to Sculk Sensor block behaviors
• Vibration frequencies of many actions in the game have been tweaked
• Colored Wool, Carpets and Beds can now be dyed to any other color
• Replaceable blocks no longer block the connection between enchanting tables and bookshelves
• Wither effect particle and Potion of Slow Falling color have been adjusted to make them more distinguishable
• Updated step sounds
• Updated Advancements
• The main menu background is now a Trails & Tales panorama
• Updated the Minecraft Java Edition logo
• Updated the Minecraft Realms logo
• The game's application icon has been updated
  • This will be a Grass Block in release versions, and a Dirt Block in snapshot versions
• GUI can be scaled on the Video Settings screen by holding Ctrl and scrolling the mouse wheel
• Updated the credits
  • Added the ability to scroll upwards by pressing the up arrow key
• The game will now display a message box on startup if user enabled text-to-speech functionality, but it is not available
• Removed Herobrine

Sculk Changes

• If a vibration is scheduled to be received by a Sculk Sensor or Sculk Shrieker, they will stay queued until all adjacent chunks are loaded and ticking
  • Prevents vibration resonance setups from breaking when unloading their chunks from a distance
• Waterlogging a Sculk Shrieker will now silence their shriek sounds
• Sculk Sensors' default redstone output has been modified to be more reliable for distance calculations
• Sculk Sensors and Calibrated Sculk Sensors now strongly power the block they are placed on
• Both types of Sculk Sensors now stay in their Cooldown phase for 10 ticks, with other phase timings being adjusted to compensate

Sculk Sensor Phases

• Sculk Sensors and Calibrated Sculk Sensors have three phases: Inactive, Active and Cooldown
• The default phase is Inactive
  • This phase lasts indefinitely until the block receives a vibration
  • During this phase, the block is able to listen to nearby vibrations until one has been scheduled
• When a scheduled vibration is received, the block switches to the Active phase
  • This phase lasts 30 game ticks for Sculk Sensors, and 10 game ticks for Calibrated Sculk Sensors
  • During this phase, the block stops listening to nearby vibrations, wiggles its tendrils and emits a redstone signal and light
• After the Active phase has finished, the block switches to a Cooldown phase
  • This phase lasts for 10 game ticks
  • During this phase, the block keeps wiggling its tendrils, but no longer emits a redstone signal nor light
  • Finally, once this phase is finished, the block will switch back to the Inactive phase
• Previously, some of these phases had different timing values:
  • Active: 40 game ticks for Sculk Sensors and 20 game ticks for Calibrated Sculk Sensors
  • Cooldown: 1 game tick for both types of Sculk Sensors
• These phase timings were tweaked so that it is less common for activated contraptions to recursively activate the Sculk Sensor that powered them

Vibration Frequencies

In preparation for the Calibrated Sculk Sensor, vibration frequencies have been greatly simplified to prevent unwanted interference. The following are category descriptions for each frequency and the expected events that they correspond to:

1. Movement in any medium (land, water and air)
2. Landing on any surface (land or water)
3. Item interactions
4. Gliding with an elytra or unique mob actions (Ravager roar, Wolf shaking, etc)
5. Dismounting a mob or equipping gear
6. Mounting a mob or interacting with a mob
7. Mobs and players getting damaged
8. Consuming items (drinking and eating)
9. Blocks 'deactivating' (door close, chest close, button unpress, etc)
10. Blocks 'activating' (door open, chest open, button press, etc)
11. Blocks changing (cauldron water level rising, adding food to campfire, etc.)
12. Blocks being destroyed
13. Blocks being placed
14. Mobs and players teleporting or spawning
15. Mobs and players dying or an explosion

Step Sounds

• Walking on a block will now always play a step sound
  • It was previously not the case if you were walking along the edge of a block with air or fluid besides it
• Walking on the ocean floor will produce a step sound for the block you are walking on at a lower volume and pitch
• When walking on Carpets, Snow, Nether Sprouts, Warped Roots, and Crimson Roots, a combination of step sounds will be played
  • The top-most block you are walking on is played as normal
  • The block underneath is played at a lower volume and pitch

Advancements

• Breeding Camels and Sniffers now count for "The Parrots and the Bats" and are now required for "Two by Two"
• Hanging Signs now count for "Glow and Behold"
• Visiting a Cherry Grove is now required for "Adventuring Time"

Technical Changes

• Improved performance of the light engine
• The data pack version is now 15, accounting for sign data format, item display orientation and advancement changes
• Removed update_1_20 feature flag and built-in datapack - features are no longer experimental
• Added a return command
• Tweaked display entity interpolation
• Added a capped rule structure processor that limits the number of replaced blocks for a structure piece to a configured maximum
• Configuring block entity fields in a rule processor rule is now delegated to a referenced block_entity_modifier instead of the previously fixed output_nbt configuration
• Random sequences for loot tables are now deterministic
• Added a reference loot table function
• Loot table condition/predicate changes:
  • Renamed alternative to any_of
  • Added all_of
• Advancement trigger changes:
  • Added recipe_crafted
  • Changed format of placed_block, item_used_on_block and allay_drop_item_on_block triggers
• Ingredients in array form are now also allowed in smithing_trim and smithing_transform recipes on fields template, base and addition
  • Those fields also allow empty arrays, which signalize that slot needs to be left empty
• Added new damage types: outside_border and generic_kill
• Game events have changed vibration frequency and some have been removed
• The resource pack version is now 15, accounting for the font and credits update
  • Updated the sprite layout of minecraft.png
  • Removed the overriding minecraft.png from the Programmer Art resource pack
  • Updated the sprite layout of invite_icon.png
  • legacy_unicode glyph provider has been removed
  • Bitmaps used by uniform font have been removed
  • uniform font has been updated to use Unifont 15.0.06
  • That changes shape of multiple characters, while also adding support for new ones
  • Combining characters no longer include circle overlayed over them (so M◌̆ now renders as M ̆)
  • Added second level of organization of entries in credits.json on top of titles, called disciplines
• Font textures are included in debug texture dump (F3 + S)
• Added new font glyph providers: unihex and reference, removed legacy_unicode
• Added support for Quick Play
• Removed the server & port commandline arguments as their functionality has been replaced by Quick Play
• Updates to telemetry
• Changed encoding of server.properties to UTF-8
• Added validation for symbolic links in world saves

Light Engine

The light engine is responsible for calculating the brightness of each block in the world. Light is calculated during world generation as well as updated when a block is changed in the world. Behavior of the light engine has not been changed.

• The performance of calculating light has been improved
  • Reduces one source of lag spikes when crossing chunk borders
  • Improves FPS in situations when a lot of light updates occur
  • Improves how quickly chunks can be generated

Commands

return

The return command can be used to control execution flow inside functions and change their return value. Effects:

• Remaining separate top-level commands in the currently executing function (if any) are skipped
• The result value of the function command that triggered the function is changed from the number of commands executed to value
• The result value of the return command is also value

Syntax:
return
Parameters:

• value: An integer return value

data

• string data sources now accept negative boundaries, which are interpreted as index counted from the end of the string

Display Entity

Interpolation Changes

• Previous values are always discarded if interpolation_duration is 0
• Made sure that render properties are applied at the same time (so block_state is applied at the same time as transformation, i.e. at the next tick after receiving an update)
• Display entities are not rendered until their initial data is received. That means display entities might not be shown on the first tick.
• Note: due to how the game handles updates, changes to entities made after summoning might be delivered to clients within a later tick

Rendering Changes

• item_display items have been rotated 180 degrees around the Y axis to better match the transformation that is applied when rendering items on an Armor Stand head and in Item Frames
  • For reference, the order of transformations applied to model (starting from innermost) is item_transform, rotate Y 180, transformation field, entity orientation (billboard option + Rotation field + Pos field)

Structure post-processors

Capped post-processor

• A capped post-processor has been added which can limit how many blocks a delegated post-processor randomly transform in a structure
• This can be used to configure a structure piece to have an exact amount of specific blocks, instead of using random distribution
• The capped post-processor has following required parameters:
  • delegate A post-processor which performs the actual block transformation
  • limit Maximum amount of blocks that the delegated post-processor can transform
  • The blocks inside a structure are all randomly passed to the delegated post-processor until it has transformed the limited amount
  • Either constant or random number generator sampled during post-processing

Rule post-processor block entity configuration

• Previously a rule could specify an optional fixed output_nbt which would be added to the processed output block entity
• This field has now been changed to reference a block_entity_modifier
• Existing block_entity_modifier's are:
  • passthrough Retains existing fields on the block entity
  • This is the default if no block_entity_modifier is specified
  • append_static Similar to previous output_nbt this provides fixed fields to add to the block entity
  • A minor change is that this modifier appends configured fields to the processed block instead of replacing existing fields
  • clear Removes any existing fields on the block entity
  • append_loot Appends a loot table and seed to the block entity through required parameter:
  • loot_table Referenced loot table to add to block entity as LootTable field
  • Field LootTableSeed is also added to the block entity using random seeded by block position

Loot Tables

Random Sequences

The game now uses named random sequences to deterministically produce loot for loot tables. Each random sequence produces a unique sequence based on the world seed and sequence ID, which means a loot table will produce the same results when ran with the same parameters in the same world.
The ID of the random sequence to use for a loot table is specified in a new optional field called random_sequence. If no sequence name is given, loot is drawn using a non-deterministic random source.

reference

New function reference allows functions to call sub-functions (similar to reference condition).
Fields: - name - location of function to call

any_of/all_of

• Loot condition alternative has been renamed to any_of
• Added new loot condition all_of that passes only when all sub-conditions pass
  • Has the same syntax as any_of

Advancements

New Triggers

recipe_crafted

• Triggered when crafting a recipe
• Conditions:
  • recipe_id - the resource location of the recipe crafted
  • ingredients - an array of predicates for the item stacks used in the recipe
  • A single item stack can only be used to fulfill one predicate
  • Each predicate needs to be fulfilled to trigger the advancement. This allows for separation between recipes that have same identifier but use different ingredients.
  • This field is optional. When not provided, or left empty, only the recipe_id will dictate the success of the trigger

Changed Triggers

• All fields in placed_block, item_used_on_block and allay_drop_item_on_block have been collapsed into a single location field
• The new location is similar to the player field - it is a list of loot conditions/predicates
• All conditions in this list must match for a trigger to run
• Conditions are evaluated in a new loot context called advancement_location. It has access to:
  • Player as this entity
  • Position of the placed block
  • Block state of the placed/interacted block
  • Held/used item as "tool"
• Migration guide:
  • Contents of old location field should be migrated to location_check condition
  • Contents of item field should be migrated to match_tool condition
  • Contents of block + state fields should be migrated to block_state_property condition

Example (from make_a_sign_glow advancement):
Before: { "conditions": { "item": { "items": [ "minecraft:glow_ink_sac" ] }, "location": { "block": { "tag": "minecraft:all_signs" } } }, "trigger": "minecraft:item_used_on_block" } After: { "conditions": { "location": [ { "condition": "minecraft:match_tool", "predicate": { "items": [ "minecraft:glow_ink_sac" ] } }, { "condition": "minecraft:location_check", "predicate": { "block": { "tag": "minecraft:all_signs" } } } ] }, "trigger": "minecraft:item_used_on_block" }

Damage Types

• Players outside the world border are now hurt by the damage type outside_border instead of in_wall
• Forcibly removing an entity using the /kill command now uses damage type generic_kill instead of out_of_world

Tags

Block Tags

• Removed replaceable_plants since it was only used as a subset of the blocks for the tag above, and not as universally
• Added replaceable_by_trees to better express blocks that are replaced when the tree grows through them
• Added replaceable with all the blocks that can be replaced
  • This tag only represents the internal state of the game, changing this tag does not make blocks replaceable
• Added sword_efficient to represent blocks that are broken 50% faster by a sword than normal
• Added maintains_farmland to represent which blocks will not cause farmland to be converted into dirt due to drying out when placed on top of it
• Added combination_step_sound_blocks that controls which blocks produce a combination of step sounds
• Added enchantment_power_provider to control which blocks increase the level of an Enchantment Table
• Added enchantment_power_transmitter to control which blocks are allowed between an Enchantment Table and a Bookshelf (or other Power Transmitter)
• Added vibration_resonators to control which blocks transmit vibration signals when placed next to Sculk Sensors
• Added trail_ruins_replaceable for blocks that Trail Ruins can replace when generating
• Added sniffer_diggable_block to control which blocks Sniffers can dig
• Added sniffer_egg_hatch_boost to that control on which blocks Sniffer Eggs hatch twice as fast
• Added ceiling_hanging_signs
• Added wall_hanging_signs
• Added all_hanging_signs
• Added stone_buttons block tag
• Added cherry_logs block tag
• Added bamboo_blocks block tag

Item Tags

• Added villager_plantable_seeds to represent which kind of seeds Villagers can farm
• Added noteblock_top_instruments to control which blocks can be placed on top of Note Blocks without sneaking
• Added breaks_decorated_pots to control which tools can break Decorated Pots
• Added decorated_pot_ingredients
• Added decorated_pot_sherds
• Added sniffer_food
• Added trimmable_armor
• Added trim_materials
• Added trim_templates
• Added stone_buttons item tag
• Added cherry_logs item tag
• Added bamboo_blocks item tag

Biome Tags

• Added has_structure/trail_ruins

Game Events

• Removed piston_contract game event in favor of block_deactivate
• Removed piston_extend and dispense_fail game events in favor of block_activate
• Many game events have new vibration frequencies:
  • 1: step, swim, flap
  • 2: projectile_land, hit_ground, splash
  • 3: item_interact_finish, projectile_shoot, instrument_play
  • 4: entity_roar, entity_shake, elytra_glide
  • 5: entity_dismount, equip
  • 6: entity_mount, entity_interact, shear
  • 7: entity_damage
  • 8: drink, eat
  • 9: container_close, block_close, block_deactivate, block_detach
  • 10: container_open, block_open, block_activate, block_attach, prime_fuse, note_block_play
  • 11: block_change
  • 12: block_destroy, fluid_pickup
  • 13: block_place, fluid_place
  • 14: entity_place, lightning_strike, teleport
  • 15: entity_die, explode

Fonts

New unihex Glyph Provider

• New glyph provider for reading Unifont HEX files
  • HEX format describes font glyphs using a bitmap
  • The height of every glyph is 16 pixels
  • The width of glyph can be 8, 16, 24 or 32 pixels
  • Every line is made of two hexadecimal numbers separated by :
  • The first value describes a codepoint - it must have 4, 5 or 6 hex digits
  • The second value describes the glyph as a stream of bits, line by line
• When rendering, empty columns on left and right side of glyphs are removed
  • Custom glyph widths can be set with size_overrides
• This provider requires two fields:
  • hex_file - path to ZIP archive containing one or more *.hex files (files in archive with different extensions are ignored)
  • size_overrides - list of codepoint ranges that should have width different from auto-detected (based on empty space in glyph). Fields:
  • from, to - start and end of codepoint range (inclusive)
  • left, right - integers describing the position of the left-most and right-most columns of the glyph in range
    • Any bits in columns outside of this range will be discarded

New reference Glyph Provider

• New glyph provider that can be used to include providers from other fonts
  • Providers are guaranteed to be loaded only once, no matter how many times they are included
• Provider has one field id, that describes another font to be included in the currently loaded one
  • Inclusion is performed after all fonts are loaded, so it will include all providers for a given font defined in all datapacks

Removed legacy_unicode Glyph Provider

• The legacy_unicode glyph provider has been removed
• This functionality has been replaced by the unihex provider

Quick Play

• Added support for four new command line arguments that allow the game to be launched directly into a world
• quickPlayPath takes a specified path for logging (relative to the run directory)
  • If a path is provided the following will be logged upon joining a world:
  • type: is either singleplayer, multiplayer, or realms
  • identifier: represents the world you want to join
    • For singleplayer, the folder name of the world
    • For multiplayer, the IP address of the server
    • For realms, the Realms ID
  • port: represents the server port and is only logged for multiplayer
  • name: The name of the world
  • gamemode: The gamemode of the world
  • lastPlayedTime: The time you joined the world
  • Example:
  • --quickPlayPath "quickPlay/log.json" will resolve into .minecraft/quickPlay/log.json
• quickPlaySingleplayer, quickPlayMultiplayer and quickPlayRealms all take their respective identifier
  • If one of these arguments is provided, the game will try to launch directly into the given world
  • Examples:
  • --quickPlaySingleplayer "New World"
  • --quickPlayMultiplayer "localhost:25565"
  • --quickPlayRealms "1234"

Telemetry

All Events

• Added new property: launcher_name
  • This is set based on the minecraft.launcher.brand system property
  • This will help us troubleshoot game launch related bugs more effectively, as we will be able to see whether the issue originated in the Minecraft launcher or a third-party program

Updated Required Events

• world_loaded
  • Added new property: realms_map_content
  • When loading into a Realms Map Content world (Minigame), the world_loaded event will receive the name of that map
  • This is to help us understand how Java Realms players interact with Java Realms adventure or minimap content

New Optional Events

• advancement_made
  • This event is triggered when a player completes an advancement, and allows us to see the advancement ID and the time when the advancement was completed
  • This helps us as a studio understand player progress and limits, which informs our game design
• game_load_times
  • This event is triggered when the game client is loaded
  • Includes the time it took for the client to load
  • This is so that we can work on improving and reducing the time it takes to load the game client

server.properties

• File is now read in UTF-8 initially, with previous encoding (ISO 8859-1/Latin 1) as a fallback
• File is now written with UTF-8 encoding

Symbolic Link Validation

To improve safety, the game will now detect symbolic links used inside world directory. For a detailed explanation, check our help article.

• If the target of a symbolic link is not on the user-configured allow-list, the game will not proceed with loading the world
  • Note: the world directory itself can still be linked
• The list of allowed symbolic link targets is stored in file allowed_symlinks.txt in the client or server top directory
• The file consists of entries (one per line) with following formats allowed:
  • Lines starting with # are comments and are ignored
  • [type]pattern, where type can be glob, regex or prefix
  • prefix matches start of path with given pattern (so for /test paths /test, /test/ and /test/foo.txt would match)
  • regex matches regular expression against whole path
  • glob uses OS-specific path matching mechanism (for example *.txt would usually match files with txt extension)
  • Note: paths will use OS-specific separators
  • pattern, which uses default prefix type

Fixed bugs in 1.20

Around 250 bugs were fixed in this release. View the list on the issue tracker.
# Get the Release
To install the Release, open up the Minecraft Launcher and click play! Make sure your Launcher is set to the “Latest Release” option.
Cross-platform server jar:

• Minecraft server jar

Report bugs here:

• Minecraft issue tracker!

Want to give feedback?

• For any feedback and suggestions, head over to the dedicated Feedback site category. If you're feeling chatty, join us over at the official Minecraft Discord.

What, is there something special happening today? Hold on, let me grab my calendar book from my chiseled bookshelf.
Oh, it's time for Trails & Tales! How could I forget? Time to equip your new brush and ride your camel off to new adventures!
This update can also be found on minecraft.net.

New Features

• All features and changes from the "Update 1.20" experimental pack are now part of the game
• Added Archaeology
• Added Sniffer mob, Torchflowers and Pitcher Plants
• Added Camel mob
• Added Smithing Template items and redesigned the Smithing Table
  • Added a new armor trimming system to visually customize your armor
  • Changed how Netherite equipment is crafted
• Added the Cherry Grove biome and Cherry Wood Set
• Added the Bamboo Wood Set
• Added the Chiseled Bookshelf block
• Added Hanging Signs
• Improved customization options for Signs
• Added the Calibrated Sculk Sensor block
• Vibration resonance functionality has been added to Blocks of Amethyst
• Added playable mob sounds with Mob Heads on Note Blocks
• Added Piglin Mob Head
• New music tracks added to Cherry Groves, Desert, Jungle, Badlands, and Flower Forest biomes
• New Trails & Tales Advancements
• Added support for Windows Aarch64/ARM64

Archaeology

• Added craftable Brush item
• Added Suspicious Sand and Suspicious Gravel
  • Suspicious Sand can be found in Desert Temples, Desert Wells and Warm Ocean Ruins
  • Suspicious Gravel can be found in Cold Ocean Ruins and Trail Ruins
  • These fragile blocks are hard to spot and easy to destroy, so be careful!
  • Brushing Suspicious Sand or Suspicious Gravel with a Brush will extract objects that were buried long ago
• Added the Trail Ruins, a buried structure from a lost culture
  • Four types of Armor Trim Templates can be found here
  • Trail Ruins can be found in Taigas, Snowy Taigas, all Old Growth forest biomes and Jungles
  • A new music disc can be found by brushing suspicious blocks in this structure
  • When put in a Jukebox, "Relic" by Aaron Cherof is played
• Added Pottery Sherds
  • Pottery Sherds have pictures on them
  • A total of 20 sherd have been distributed between the 5 Archaeology sites: Desert Wells, Desert Temples, Cold Ocean Ruins, Warm Ocean Ruins, and Trail Ruins
  • They cannot be crafted, and are only found by brushing Suspicious Sand or Suspicious Gravel

Decorated Pots

• Crafting four Pottery Sherds together will create a Decorated Pot with a picture on each side
• Brick items can be used instead of Pottery Sherds in the Decorated Pot recipe
  • The sides that were made from Brick items will not have pictures
• Smash a Decorated Pot with any block-breaking tool to break it apart and get the Pottery Sherds back
  • Hitting the pot with bare hands, silk touch tools, or any other item will drop an intact pot instead
• Crafted Decorated Pots with at least one pattern have a hover tooltip displaying the Sherd & Brick ingredients

Sniffer

• The Sniffer is the mob vote winner of Minecraft Live 2022
• Sniffers are passive, friendly mobs
• Sniffers sniff the air and occasionally dig for seeds, which produces a Torchflower Seed or a Pitcher Pod item
• Sniffers can only dig grass and dirt-like blocks
• Sniffers can be tempted by, and bred with Torchflowers Seeds

Sniffer Egg

• Can be found by brushing the Suspicious Sand of Warm Ocean Ruins
• When two Sniffers breed they do not immediately spawn a Snifflet; instead, a Sniffer Egg is dropped
• When placed in the world, the Sniffer Egg will hatch after some time
  • When placed on Moss, the Egg will hatch in approximately 10 minutes
  • On all other blocks, it will hatch in approximately 20 minutes

Torchflowers

• The Sniffer can occasionally sniff up a Torchflowers seed, and it can be used to breed two Sniffers
• The Torchflower seed can be planted on Farmland and grows into a Torchflower
• The full-grown flower can be harvested and replanted
• The Torchflower can be crafted into Orange Dye

Pitcher Plant

• The Sniffer can occasionally sniff up a Pitcher Pod item
• The Pitcher Pod, when planted on Farmland, grows into a Pitcher Crop
• The Pitcher Crop has five growth stages
• Once fully grown, the Pitcher Crop can be harvested, yielding a two-block-tall Pitcher Plant
• The Pitcher Plant can be crafted into Cyan Dye

Camel

• Camels can be equipped with a Saddle and ridden by two players
• Camels spawn naturally when Desert Villages generate
• Camels can be tempted by holding Cactus
• Feed Cactus to Camels to breed them
• Camels are tall
  • Most hostile mobs will not be able to reach you when you are on a Camel
  • They can walk over Fences and Walls
• Camels randomly sit down
  • While sitting, it is difficult to convince them to move
• Camels can either walk slowly or sprint quickly
• They can also dash forward but will lose stamina for a while when doing so

Smithing

• Smithing Tables have been redesigned into a workstation for physical equipment upgrades and modifications
• Alongside slots for combining a piece of equipment and materials, there is now a required slot for an item type called Smithing Template
• Smithing Templates define what type of upgrade you will be making to a piece of equipment
  • It specifies both what type of items you can upgrade, and which ingredients are valid to customize the upgrade
  • There are currently two categories of Smithing Templates: Armor Trim and Netherite Upgrade
• Smithing Templates are consumed when used to upgrade an item in the Smithing Table
• You can craft a copy of a Smithing Template in the Crafting Table with 7 diamonds + 1 block of material that the template is made out of + 1 smithing template, which will output 2 of the same Smithing Template

Netherite Equipment

• Netherite equipment crafting now also requires a Netherite Upgrade Smithing Template
• Netherite Upgrade Smithing Templates can be found randomly in all Bastion Remnant chests
  • Every Treasure Room Bastion Remnant will contain 2 Smithing Templates
• This change was made for a variety of reasons:
  • Increase the time players utilize Diamond equipment before Netherite
  • Make Netherite equipment more significant achievement in the game's progression
  • Adapt Netherite more naturally into the new Smithing Table crafting system

Armor Trims

• You can now visually customize your armor with a variety of unique trims at the Smithing Table
• Armor trims are purely visual with no gameplay benefits
• Armor trims can be applied to Helmets, Chestplates, Leggings and Boots
  • All trim patterns are visually the same on an armor's item icon, but the color will still change based on the trim material
  • To check which trim pattern a piece of armor has, you can hover over it in the inventory
• Armor Trim Smithing Templates can be found all throughout the world, and each of the following structures contain their own unique Smithing Templates:
  • Trail Ruins: Wayfinder, Raiser, Shaper, and Host Armor Trims
  • Pillager Outpost: Sentry Armor Trim
  • Desert Pyramid: Dune Armor Trim
  • Shipwreck: Coast Armor Trim
  • Jungle Temple: Wild Armor Trim
  • Ocean Monument: Tide Armor Trim
  • Ancient City: Ward and Silence Armor Trims
  • Woodland Mansion: Vex Armor Trim
  • Nether Fortress: Rib Armor Trim
  • Bastion Remnant: Snout Armor Trim
  • Stronghold: Eye Armor Trim
  • End City: Spire Armor Trim
• Smithing Templates are found in chests in their respective structure
  • Trail Ruins have no chests, Smithing Templates are instead found by brushing Suspicious Gravel
  • The Ocean Monument has no chests, Elder Guardians sometimes instead drop a Smithing Template upon death
• Some Armor Trim Smithing Templates are rarer than others, so be on the lookout for them to impress your friends!
• An armor trim has two properties: a pattern and a material
  • The pattern is defined by the Smithing Template used to apply the trim, and represents the visual pattern of the trim
  • The material is defined by which ingredient you used to apply the trim, and controls the color of the trim
• The viable ingredients you can use to define the color of your armor trim are the following:
  • Iron, Copper, Gold, Lapis, Emerald, Diamond, Netherite, Redstone, Amethyst, Quartz

Cherry Groves

• Added a new Cherry Grove biome, with pretty cherry blossom trees
  • The biome can be found in the mountains, in similar places as Meadows
• Added a new Cherry wood set, with all the corresponding wooden things you can craft from it
• Pink particles fall from beneath Cherry Leaves
• Added a new Pink Petals block with lots of pink flowers on the ground
  • Each Pink Petal block can contain up to 4 petals
  • Using Bone Meal on it increases the number of petals
  • Placing a Pink Petal into an already placed block increases the number of petals
  • Drops the number of petals in the block when mined

Bamboo Wood Set

• Added a new Bamboo wood set, with all the corresponding wooden things you can craft from it
• Block of Bamboo can be crafted from 9 Bamboo and can be stripped like other wood logs
• Bamboo Planks crafted from Block of Bamboo yield only 2 planks compared to 4 for wood logs
• Added a new "Mosaic" plank variant that is unique to Bamboo called the Bamboo Mosaic
  • It can be crafted with 1x2 Bamboo Slabs in a vertical strip
  • You can craft Stair and Slab variants of Bamboo Mosaic
  • Bamboo Mosaic blocks cannot be used as a crafting ingredient where other wooden blocks are used, but they can be used as fuel
• Added a unique Bamboo Raft and Bamboo Chest Raft which can be crafted like normal boats, but with Bamboo Planks
  • They function the same as ordinary boats, but have a unique look to them

Chiseled Bookshelf

• A new, chiseled variation of the Bookshelf
• Crafted with 6 planks and 3 wooden slabs
• Can store Books, Book and Quills, Written Books, Enchanted Books, and Knowledge Books
  • Holds up to 6 books
  • These can be added or removed from any slot by targeting the specific slot
• The Comparator signal strength corresponds to the number of the last book that was inserted or removed
  • The numbering of book slots starts from 1 at the top-left, and increments from left-to-right
• Works with Hoppers

Hanging Signs

• Hanging Signs are a more expensive version of normal Signs
  • Crafted with 2 chains and 6 stripped logs of your preferred wood type
  • Crafting results in 6 Hanging Signs
• Can be hung up in the following ways:
  • Underneath a block that can provide support in the center, like a full block or a fence
  • Attached to the solid side of a block
  • Attached to the side or underneath another Hanging Sign
• Unlike normal Signs, they cannot be placed directly on the ground without support from the side or above
  • However, Hanging Signs that have a horizontal bar will not pop when the supporting block is removed

Signs

The following changes have been made for both Signs and Hanging Signs. - Sign text can now be edited after being placed in the world - This can be done by interacting with the Sign - Signs with non-text chat components can not be edited - Both sides of the Sign can now have separate text and colors, allowing for further customization options - By default, a Sign will prompt you to input the front side's text when placed - To apply text to the back-side, you must walk to the other side and interact with that face to edit it - Signs can now also be waxed with Honeycomb, preventing any further edits to its text - Opening the sign edit screen in singleplayer no longer pauses the game

Calibrated Sculk Sensors

• A new variant of Sculk Sensors that allows you to filter vibrations based on their frequency level
• They are not found naturally and can only be crafted with 1 Sculk Sensor and 3 Amethyst Shards in the Crafting Table
• One side of the Calibrated Sculk Sensor can receive a redstone signal as input
  • The strength of that redstone signal is the only vibration frequency the Sculk Sensor will listen to
• They have a combined active and cooldown phase that lasts 20 game ticks
  • They output their redstone signal for the first 10 game ticks
• They can detect vibrations up to 16 blocks away

Vibration Resonance

• Blocks of Amethyst have a new behavior when placed adjacent to Sculk Sensors
  • If that Sculk Sensor receives a vibration, the Block of Amethyst will re-emit its frequency as a separate vibration at its location
• This behavior is called Vibration Resonance, and allows players to move vibration frequencies across long distances without having to recreate the vibration naturally

Playable Mob Sounds

• When placing a Mob Head on a Note Block, that Note Block will now play one of the ambient sounds of that mob when played by a player or powered by Redstone
• Mob Heads can be placed on top of Note Blocks without sneaking

Piglin Mob Head

• Piglins will now drop their heads when killed by a charged Creeper
• Placing the Piglin head on a Note Block will play one of the Piglin's ambient sounds
• The Piglin head will flap its ears when powered by Redstone, or when worn by a player while walking

New Music

• Added the following new music tracks by Aaron Cherof to Cherry Groves, Desert, Jungle, Badlands, and Flower Forest biomes:
  • A Familiar Room
  • Bromeliad
  • Crescent Dunes
  • Echo in the Wind
• Added a new music disc with the track "Relic" by Aaron Cherof, found in Trail Ruins

Windows Aarch64/ARM64 support

• Minecraft Java Edition is now fully supported on Windows devices using an Aarch64/ARM64 architecture, such as the Windows Surface Pro X

Advancements

New Husbandry Advancements

• Smells Interesting : Obtain a Sniffer Egg
• Little Sniffs : Feed a Snifflet (requires Smells interesting)
• Planting the Past : Plant any Sniffer seed (requires Little sniffs)

New Adventure Advancements

• Respecting the Remnants : Brush a Suspicious block to obtain a Pottery Sherd
• Careful Restoration : Make a Decorated Pot out of 4 Pottery Sherds (requires Respecting the Remnants)
• Crafting a New Look : Craft a trimmed armor at a Smithing Table
• Smithing with Style : Apply these Trim Smithing Templates at least once: Spire, Snout, Rib, Ward, Silence, Vex, Tide, Wayfinder (requires Crafting a New Look)
• The Power of Books : Read the power signal of a Chiseled Bookshelf using a Comparator

Changes

• Changes to Sculk Sensor block behaviors
• Vibration frequencies of many actions in the game have been tweaked
• Colored Wool, Carpets and Beds can now be dyed to any other color
• Replaceable blocks no longer block the connection between enchanting tables and bookshelves
• Wither effect particle and Potion of Slow Falling color have been adjusted to make them more distinguishable
• Updated step sounds
• Updated Advancements
• The main menu background is now a Trails & Tales panorama
• Updated the Minecraft Java Edition logo
• Updated the Minecraft Realms logo
• The game's application icon has been updated
  • This will be a Grass Block in release versions, and a Dirt Block in snapshot versions
• GUI can be scaled on the Video Settings screen by holding Ctrl and scrolling the mouse wheel
• Updated the credits
  • Added the ability to scroll upwards by pressing the up arrow key
• The game will now display a message box on startup if user enabled text-to-speech functionality, but it is not available
• Removed Herobrine

Sculk Changes

• If a vibration is scheduled to be received by a Sculk Sensor or Sculk Shrieker, they will stay queued until all adjacent chunks are loaded and ticking
  • Prevents vibration resonance setups from breaking when unloading their chunks from a distance
• Waterlogging a Sculk Shrieker will now silence their shriek sounds
• Sculk Sensors' default redstone output has been modified to be more reliable for distance calculations
• Sculk Sensors and Calibrated Sculk Sensors now strongly power the block they are placed on
• Both types of Sculk Sensors now stay in their Cooldown phase for 10 ticks, with other phase timings being adjusted to compensate

Sculk Sensor Phases

• Sculk Sensors and Calibrated Sculk Sensors have three phases: Inactive, Active and Cooldown
• The default phase is Inactive
  • This phase lasts indefinitely until the block receives a vibration
  • During this phase, the block is able to listen to nearby vibrations until one has been scheduled
• When a scheduled vibration is received, the block switches to the Active phase
  • This phase lasts 30 game ticks for Sculk Sensors, and 10 game ticks for Calibrated Sculk Sensors
  • During this phase, the block stops listening to nearby vibrations, wiggles its tendrils and emits a redstone signal and light
• After the Active phase has finished, the block switches to a Cooldown phase
  • This phase lasts for 10 game ticks
  • During this phase, the block keeps wiggling its tendrils, but no longer emits a redstone signal nor light
  • Finally, once this phase is finished, the block will switch back to the Inactive phase
• Previously, some of these phases had different timing values:
  • Active: 40 game ticks for Sculk Sensors and 20 game ticks for Calibrated Sculk Sensors
  • Cooldown: 1 game tick for both types of Sculk Sensors
• These phase timings were tweaked so that it is less common for activated contraptions to recursively activate the Sculk Sensor that powered them

Vibration Frequencies

In preparation for the Calibrated Sculk Sensor, vibration frequencies have been greatly simplified to prevent unwanted interference. The following are category descriptions for each frequency and the expected events that they correspond to:

1. Movement in any medium (land, water and air)
2. Landing on any surface (land or water)
3. Item interactions
4. Gliding with an elytra or unique mob actions (Ravager roar, Wolf shaking, etc)
5. Dismounting a mob or equipping gear
6. Mounting a mob or interacting with a mob
7. Mobs and players getting damaged
8. Consuming items (drinking and eating)
9. Blocks 'deactivating' (door close, chest close, button unpress, etc)
10. Blocks 'activating' (door open, chest open, button press, etc)
11. Blocks changing (cauldron water level rising, adding food to campfire, etc.)
12. Blocks being destroyed
13. Blocks being placed
14. Mobs and players teleporting or spawning
15. Mobs and players dying or an explosion

Step Sounds

• Walking on a block will now always play a step sound
  • It was previously not the case if you were walking along the edge of a block with air or fluid besides it
• Walking on the ocean floor will produce a step sound for the block you are walking on at a lower volume and pitch
• When walking on Carpets, Snow, Nether Sprouts, Warped Roots, and Crimson Roots, a combination of step sounds will be played
  • The top-most block you are walking on is played as normal
  • The block underneath is played at a lower volume and pitch

Advancements

• Breeding Camels and Sniffers now count for "The Parrots and the Bats" and are now required for "Two by Two"
• Hanging Signs now count for "Glow and Behold"
• Visiting a Cherry Grove is now required for "Adventuring Time"

Technical Changes

• Improved performance of the light engine
• The data pack version is now 15, accounting for sign data format, item display orientation and advancement changes
• Removed update_1_20 feature flag and built-in datapack - features are no longer experimental
• Added a return command
• Tweaked display entity interpolation
• Added a capped rule structure processor that limits the number of replaced blocks for a structure piece to a configured maximum
• Configuring block entity fields in a rule processor rule is now delegated to a referenced block_entity_modifier instead of the previously fixed output_nbt configuration
• Random sequences for loot tables are now deterministic
• Added a reference loot table function
• Loot table condition/predicate changes:
  • Renamed alternative to any_of
  • Added all_of
• Advancement trigger changes:
  • Added recipe_crafted
  • Changed format of placed_block, item_used_on_block and allay_drop_item_on_block triggers
• Ingredients in array form are now also allowed in smithing_trim and smithing_transform recipes on fields template, base and addition
  • Those fields also allow empty arrays, which signalize that slot needs to be left empty
• Added new damage types: outside_border and generic_kill
• Game events have changed vibration frequency and some have been removed
• The resource pack version is now 15, accounting for the font and credits update
  • Updated the sprite layout of minecraft.png
  • Removed the overriding minecraft.png from the Programmer Art resource pack
  • Updated the sprite layout of invite_icon.png
  • legacy_unicode glyph provider has been removed
  • Bitmaps used by uniform font have been removed
  • uniform font has been updated to use Unifont 15.0.06
  • That changes shape of multiple characters, while also adding support for new ones
  • Combining characters no longer include circle overlayed over them (so M◌̆ now renders as M ̆)
  • Added second level of organization of entries in credits.json on top of titles, called disciplines
• Font textures are included in debug texture dump (F3 + S)
• Added new font glyph providers: unihex and reference, removed legacy_unicode
• Added support for Quick Play
• Removed the server & port commandline arguments as their functionality has been replaced by Quick Play
• Updates to telemetry
• Changed encoding of server.properties to UTF-8
• Added validation for symbolic links in world saves

Light Engine

The light engine is responsible for calculating the brightness of each block in the world. Light is calculated during world generation as well as updated when a block is changed in the world. Behavior of the light engine has not been changed.

• The performance of calculating light has been improved
  • Reduces one source of lag spikes when crossing chunk borders
  • Improves FPS in situations when a lot of light updates occur
  • Improves how quickly chunks can be generated

Commands

return

The return command can be used to control execution flow inside functions and change their return value. Effects:

• Remaining separate top-level commands in the currently executing function (if any) are skipped
• The result value of the function command that triggered the function is changed from the number of commands executed to value
• The result value of the return command is also value

Syntax:
return
Parameters:

• value: An integer return value

data

• string data sources now accept negative boundaries, which are interpreted as index counted from the end of the string

Display Entity

Interpolation Changes

• Previous values are always discarded if interpolation_duration is 0
• Made sure that render properties are applied at the same time (so block_state is applied at the same time as transformation, i.e. at the next tick after receiving an update)
• Display entities are not rendered until their initial data is received. That means display entities might not be shown on the first tick.
• Note: due to how the game handles updates, changes to entities made after summoning might be delivered to clients within a later tick

Rendering Changes

• item_display items have been rotated 180 degrees around the Y axis to better match the transformation that is applied when rendering items on an Armor Stand head and in Item Frames
  • For reference, the order of transformations applied to model (starting from innermost) is item_transform, rotate Y 180, transformation field, entity orientation (billboard option + Rotation field + Pos field)

Structure post-processors

Capped post-processor

• A capped post-processor has been added which can limit how many blocks a delegated post-processor randomly transform in a structure
• This can be used to configure a structure piece to have an exact amount of specific blocks, instead of using random distribution
• The capped post-processor has following required parameters:
  • delegate A post-processor which performs the actual block transformation
  • limit Maximum amount of blocks that the delegated post-processor can transform
  • The blocks inside a structure are all randomly passed to the delegated post-processor until it has transformed the limited amount
  • Either constant or random number generator sampled during post-processing

Rule post-processor block entity configuration

• Previously a rule could specify an optional fixed output_nbt which would be added to the processed output block entity
• This field has now been changed to reference a block_entity_modifier
• Existing block_entity_modifier's are:
  • passthrough Retains existing fields on the block entity
  • This is the default if no block_entity_modifier is specified
  • append_static Similar to previous output_nbt this provides fixed fields to add to the block entity
  • A minor change is that this modifier appends configured fields to the processed block instead of replacing existing fields
  • clear Removes any existing fields on the block entity
  • append_loot Appends a loot table and seed to the block entity through required parameter:
  • loot_table Referenced loot table to add to block entity as LootTable field
  • Field LootTableSeed is also added to the block entity using random seeded by block position

Loot Tables

Random Sequences

The game now uses named random sequences to deterministically produce loot for loot tables. Each random sequence produces a unique sequence based on the world seed and sequence ID, which means a loot table will produce the same results when ran with the same parameters in the same world.
The ID of the random sequence to use for a loot table is specified in a new optional field called random_sequence. If no sequence name is given, loot is drawn using a non-deterministic random source.

reference

New function reference allows functions to call sub-functions (similar to reference condition).
Fields: - name - location of function to call

any_of/all_of

• Loot condition alternative has been renamed to any_of
• Added new loot condition all_of that passes only when all sub-conditions pass
  • Has the same syntax as any_of

Advancements

New Triggers

recipe_crafted

• Triggered when crafting a recipe
• Conditions:
  • recipe_id - the resource location of the recipe crafted
  • ingredients - an array of predicates for the item stacks used in the recipe
  • A single item stack can only be used to fulfill one predicate
  • Each predicate needs to be fulfilled to trigger the advancement. This allows for separation between recipes that have same identifier but use different ingredients.
  • This field is optional. When not provided, or left empty, only the recipe_id will dictate the success of the trigger

Changed Triggers

• All fields in placed_block, item_used_on_block and allay_drop_item_on_block have been collapsed into a single location field
• The new location is similar to the player field - it is a list of loot conditions/predicates
• All conditions in this list must match for a trigger to run
• Conditions are evaluated in a new loot context called advancement_location. It has access to:
  • Player as this entity
  • Position of the placed block
  • Block state of the placed/interacted block
  • Held/used item as "tool"
• Migration guide:
  • Contents of old location field should be migrated to location_check condition
  • Contents of item field should be migrated to match_tool condition
  • Contents of block + state fields should be migrated to block_state_property condition

Example (from make_a_sign_glow advancement):
Before: { "conditions": { "item": { "items": [ "minecraft:glow_ink_sac" ] }, "location": { "block": { "tag": "minecraft:all_signs" } } }, "trigger": "minecraft:item_used_on_block" } After: { "conditions": { "location": [ { "condition": "minecraft:match_tool", "predicate": { "items": [ "minecraft:glow_ink_sac" ] } }, { "condition": "minecraft:location_check", "predicate": { "block": { "tag": "minecraft:all_signs" } } } ] }, "trigger": "minecraft:item_used_on_block" }

Damage Types

• Players outside the world border are now hurt by the damage type outside_border instead of in_wall
• Forcibly removing an entity using the /kill command now uses damage type generic_kill instead of out_of_world

Tags

Block Tags

• Removed replaceable_plants since it was only used as a subset of the blocks for the tag above, and not as universally
• Added replaceable_by_trees to better express blocks that are replaced when the tree grows through them
• Added replaceable with all the blocks that can be replaced
  • This tag only represents the internal state of the game, changing this tag does not make blocks replaceable
• Added sword_efficient to represent blocks that are broken 50% faster by a sword than normal
• Added maintains_farmland to represent which blocks will not cause farmland to be converted into dirt due to drying out when placed on top of it
• Added combination_step_sound_blocks that controls which blocks produce a combination of step sounds
• Added enchantment_power_provider to control which blocks increase the level of an Enchantment Table
• Added enchantment_power_transmitter to control which blocks are allowed between an Enchantment Table and a Bookshelf (or other Power Transmitter)
• Added vibration_resonators to control which blocks transmit vibration signals when placed next to Sculk Sensors
• Added trail_ruins_replaceable for blocks that Trail Ruins can replace when generating
• Added sniffer_diggable_block to control which blocks Sniffers can dig
• Added sniffer_egg_hatch_boost to that control on which blocks Sniffer Eggs hatch twice as fast
• Added ceiling_hanging_signs
• Added wall_hanging_signs
• Added all_hanging_signs
• Added stone_buttons block tag
• Added cherry_logs block tag
• Added bamboo_blocks block tag

Item Tags

• Added villager_plantable_seeds to represent which kind of seeds Villagers can farm
• Added noteblock_top_instruments to control which blocks can be placed on top of Note Blocks without sneaking
• Added breaks_decorated_pots to control which tools can break Decorated Pots
• Added decorated_pot_ingredients
• Added decorated_pot_sherds
• Added sniffer_food
• Added trimmable_armor
• Added trim_materials
• Added trim_templates
• Added stone_buttons item tag
• Added cherry_logs item tag
• Added bamboo_blocks item tag

Biome Tags

• Added has_structure/trail_ruins

Game Events

• Removed piston_contract game event in favor of block_deactivate
• Removed piston_extend and dispense_fail game events in favor of block_activate
• Many game events have new vibration frequencies:
  • 1: step, swim, flap
  • 2: projectile_land, hit_ground, splash
  • 3: item_interact_finish, projectile_shoot, instrument_play
  • 4: entity_roar, entity_shake, elytra_glide
  • 5: entity_dismount, equip
  • 6: entity_mount, entity_interact, shear
  • 7: entity_damage
  • 8: drink, eat
  • 9: container_close, block_close, block_deactivate, block_detach
  • 10: container_open, block_open, block_activate, block_attach, prime_fuse, note_block_play
  • 11: block_change
  • 12: block_destroy, fluid_pickup
  • 13: block_place, fluid_place
  • 14: entity_place, lightning_strike, teleport
  • 15: entity_die, explode

Fonts

New unihex Glyph Provider

• New glyph provider for reading Unifont HEX files
  • HEX format describes font glyphs using a bitmap
  • The height of every glyph is 16 pixels
  • The width of glyph can be 8, 16, 24 or 32 pixels
  • Every line is made of two hexadecimal numbers separated by :
  • The first value describes a codepoint - it must have 4, 5 or 6 hex digits
  • The second value describes the glyph as a stream of bits, line by line
• When rendering, empty columns on left and right side of glyphs are removed
  • Custom glyph widths can be set with size_overrides
• This provider requires two fields:
  • hex_file - path to ZIP archive containing one or more *.hex files (files in archive with different extensions are ignored)
  • size_overrides - list of codepoint ranges that should have width different from auto-detected (based on empty space in glyph). Fields:
  • from, to - start and end of codepoint range (inclusive)
  • left, right - integers describing the position of the left-most and right-most columns of the glyph in range
    • Any bits in columns outside of this range will be discarded

New reference Glyph Provider

• New glyph provider that can be used to include providers from other fonts
  • Providers are guaranteed to be loaded only once, no matter how many times they are included
• Provider has one field id, that describes another font to be included in the currently loaded one
  • Inclusion is performed after all fonts are loaded, so it will include all providers for a given font defined in all datapacks

Removed legacy_unicode Glyph Provider

• The legacy_unicode glyph provider has been removed
• This functionality has been replaced by the unihex provider

Quick Play

• Added support for four new command line arguments that allow the game to be launched directly into a world
• quickPlayPath takes a specified path for logging (relative to the run directory)
  • If a path is provided the following will be logged upon joining a world:
  • type: is either singleplayer, multiplayer, or realms
  • identifier: represents the world you want to join
    • For singleplayer, the folder name of the world
    • For multiplayer, the IP address of the server
    • For realms, the Realms ID
  • port: represents the server port and is only logged for multiplayer
  • name: The name of the world
  • gamemode: The gamemode of the world
  • lastPlayedTime: The time you joined the world
  • Example:
  • --quickPlayPath "quickPlay/log.json" will resolve into .minecraft/quickPlay/log.json
• quickPlaySingleplayer, quickPlayMultiplayer and quickPlayRealms all take their respective identifier
  • If one of these arguments is provided, the game will try to launch directly into the given world
  • Examples:
  • --quickPlaySingleplayer "New World"
  • --quickPlayMultiplayer "localhost:25565"
  • --quickPlayRealms "1234"

Telemetry

All Events

• Added new property: launcher_name
  • This is set based on the minecraft.launcher.brand system property
  • This will help us troubleshoot game launch related bugs more effectively, as we will be able to see whether the issue originated in the Minecraft launcher or a third-party program

Updated Required Events

• world_loaded
  • Added new property: realms_map_content
  • When loading into a Realms Map Content world (Minigame), the world_loaded event will receive the name of that map
  • This is to help us understand how Java Realms players interact with Java Realms adventure or minimap content

New Optional Events

• advancement_made
  • This event is triggered when a player completes an advancement, and allows us to see the advancement ID and the time when the advancement was completed
  • This helps us as a studio understand player progress and limits, which informs our game design
• game_load_times
  • This event is triggered when the game client is loaded
  • Includes the time it took for the client to load
  • This is so that we can work on improving and reducing the time it takes to load the game client

server.properties

• File is now read in UTF-8 initially, with previous encoding (ISO 8859-1/Latin 1) as a fallback
• File is now written with UTF-8 encoding

Symbolic Link Validation

To improve safety, the game will now detect symbolic links used inside world directory. For a detailed explanation, check our help article.

• If the target of a symbolic link is not on the user-configured allow-list, the game will not proceed with loading the world
  • Note: the world directory itself can still be linked
• The list of allowed symbolic link targets is stored in file allowed_symlinks.txt in the client or server top directory
• The file consists of entries (one per line) with following formats allowed:
  • Lines starting with # are comments and are ignored
  • [type]pattern, where type can be glob, regex or prefix
  • prefix matches start of path with given pattern (so for /test paths /test, /test/ and /test/foo.txt would match)
  • regex matches regular expression against whole path
  • glob uses OS-specific path matching mechanism (for example *.txt would usually match files with txt extension)
  • Note: paths will use OS-specific separators
  • pattern, which uses default prefix type

Fixed bugs in 1.20

Around 250 bugs were fixed in this release. View the list on the issue tracker.
# Get the Release
To install the Release, open up the Minecraft Launcher and click play! Make sure your Launcher is set to the “Latest Release” option.
Cross-platform server jar:

• Minecraft server jar

Report bugs here:

• Minecraft issue tracker!

Want to give feedback?

• For any feedback and suggestions, head over to the dedicated Feedback site category. If you're feeling chatty, join us over at the official Minecraft Discord.

Since this sub was so helpful in planning, I wanted to share my itinerary and trip report! We had an incredible first time in Japan and I can't wait to go back.
Couldn't fit our (very detailed) itinerary in this post, but if you'd like to download it's here.
Medium article version with photos + itinerary is here.
And our shareable Google map is here.
About us:

• We’re New Yorkers in our 30s who have been planning this trip for about 6 months.
• My bf has been learning Japanese for about a year, and I’ve been learning for about 5 months (a mix of Pimsleur and Duolingo).
• Boyfriend is into history and baseball, I'm into skincare and nature, but we’re both big on food so that was our number one priority.
• He has a peanut allergy and avoids all nuts. He learned to say that in Japanese (私はピーナッツアレルギーがあります - "Watashi wa piinattsu arerugī ga arimasu”), and every restaurant and hotel was understanding and careful. Luckily most cuisine is nut-free anyway, but we managed not to have any close calls in 2 weeks which is amazing.

Some overall learnings:

• If I were planning this trip again, I think I would skip Kanazawa. It was a lovely town and the food was amazing, but we wished we had spent that time with a night or two in Osaka instead of just making it a day trip from Kyoto.
• Even if you’re not a baseball fan, Japanese baseball games are so much fun. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
• I packed a suitcase and brought a fold-up duffel bag, and halfway through the trip I moved my clothes to the duffel and just used the suitcase for souvenirs. It was a great idea but we ended up buying an extra suitcase at Donki our last day anyway.
• We both felt a bit underdressed compared to locals, especially in Tokyo. I wish I’d packed more dresses, skirts and trousers and fewer jeans and tees - the only people I saw wearing sweats, athletic wear or cutoffs were other tourists. Obviously you can wear what you want, just be aware you’ll stick out! Also, women are generally more covered up, even on warmer days, to protect their skin from the sun.
• If you go clothes shopping, take your shoes off in dressing rooms. I made a right fool of myself.
• Clothes sizing is wildly different in Japan. Know your cm measurements! Your size here may be hurtful to your ego.
• People line up to get on the train (check the ground for a guide of where to stand) and let everyone off before they get on. This seems obvious, but I’ve been living in New York so long that I wanted to weep tears of joy every time.
• If you’re new to sitting showers: there are two buttons. One is to fill up a bowl of water, and the other is to turn on the handheld shower head. Both automatically turn off a minute after you turn them on, but you can also turn them off manually. You sit on the little stool and there’s usually a mirror in front of you, which is… a humbling experience. There are usually also scrubbing washcloths.
• The worst train station toilet was still nicer than a goddamn Nordstrom bathroom. It was a pleasure to have IBS in Japan.
• At many European and American historical sites, you pay a hefty flat fee to see everything. In Japan, you can usually get into the temple grounds for free, then pay for each individual building you go into. Most were 400-700y/person, which felt really reasonable.
• We came at an almost perfect time (mid-May) weather-wise. Most days it was clear or sunny with a high in the mid-seventies. We definitely got some rain, but less than we were expecting (maybe 3-4 rainy days and 5-6 rainy nights).

Hotel Reviews:
Tokyu Stay Shinjuku Eastside (Tokyo): This was a great basic hotel, close to plenty of transportation and right on the edge of Kabukicho. The buffet breakfast was the highlight - a great mix of Western and Japanese breakfast options, including a great miso soup.Hakone Airu (Hakone): Mixed review here. On the one hand, the in-room onsen and public onsen were both wonderful, and the service was extraordinary. On the other hand, the mix of Balinese and Japanese didn’t quite work, and dinner and breakfast were more confusing than enjoyable.Hotel Alza (Kyoto): By far our favorite stay. I can’t recommend this place enough, and it was definitely worth paying a little extra. They brought us an amazing bento breakfast in our rooms every morning, they had every amenity we could need (they even re-upped the free sheet masks every day), and the micro-bubble bath at the end of a long day of walking was amazing.Koyasan Syukubo Ekoin Temple (Mt Koya): This was a great temple experience. Koyasan in general is obviously pretty tourist-y, but Eko-in still made it feel authentic, and dinner and breakfast were both amazing. Your stay includes a meditation class, morning prayers and a morning fire ritual, and you can pay to attend a cemetery tour, all of which were great.Utaimachi (Kanazawa): We were only here for two nights, but this place was pretty good. Very close to the Higashi Chaya area, where we didn’t actually end up spending much time. Always love tatami mat flooring, and the washedryer was a nice bonus, but we were also right next to the lobby and right under another room so there was some noise.The Gate Asakusa (Tokyo): A great and very Westernized hotel with amazing views of Shinso-ji and the surrounding area. It’s on the top floors of a building right in the middle of all things Asakusa, but is still pretty quiet. And has a wonderful, deep soaking tub with free bath salts.

Tuesday: Arrival, Shinjuku

1 PM: Arrival at Haneda
We got customs and immigration forms to fill out on the plane and everything went fairly quickly. Picked up some cash and Suica cards, went to see about taking the Airport Limousine bus ($10/each) but we should have booked in advance because there wasn’t one for another hour. We ended up taking a taxi (about $50) to our hotel in Shinjuku.
4 PM: Arrival at hotel - Tokyu Stay Shinjuku East Side
We dropped our luggage and went to a nearby eel restaurant, Shinjuku Unatetsu. The eel was incredible and not too filling. Wandered Kabuki-cho for a bit, I dragged my bf through all 4 floors of Don Quijote (I had a list of beauty items to pick up), then rested at the hotel.
7 PM: Dinner in Shinjuku (Tsunahachi)
We went to Tsunahachi for dinner and got some amazing tempura (I wish we had sat at the bar to watch it being made!) and then crashed by 9 pm, because we are young and cool.

Wednesday: Harajuku, Meiji, and Shibuya

7 AM: Hotel breakfast
Up early for hotel breakfast, which has convinced bf to start making miso soup every morning.
9 AM: Shinjuku Station - Pick up JR Passes
We went to Shinjuku station to pick up our JR passes, then spent 30 minutes finding the place where we could get them before 10 AM. There was a long line (staff shortage) so we waited about an hour but we got them and headed to Harajuku.
11 AM: Meiji Shrine & Yoyogi Park
We walked to Meiji Shrine, stopping at the gardens along the way (well worth the 500y entrance fee, especially on a beautiful day). We were lucky to come across a wedding at the shrine. Then we walked around Yoyogi Park a bit.
1 PM: Lunch (Gyoza Lou)
Walked into Gyoza Lou and were seated right away. Incredible gyoza as well as beer and bean sprouts with meat sauce - maybe 10 bucks total for 2 people.
1:30 PM: Shopping/museums in Harajuku
We split up so I could do some shopping in vintage stores - Flamingo, TAGTAG and Kinji (my favorite), and bf could go to the Ota Memorial Museum for their Cats in Ukiyo-e exhibit (which he loved). I walked down Takeshita street to meet him and managed to get a green tea, strawberry and red bean paste crepe from Marion Crepes.
3 PM: Shibuya Scramble & Hachinko Statue
We grabbed the train to Shibuya, saw the scramble and the Hachinko statue, then entered the maze that is Tokyu Hands. I got some onsen powders for gifts and some more cosmetics. My boyfriend checked out the Bic camera store and I went to Gu, which is like the love child of Uniqlo and Primark. I immediately undid all the “light packing” I did with new clothes.
7 PM: Dinner Reservation - Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima
I got us a reservation a few months ago at Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima. It was probably one of the best meals of my life. The omakase came out to less than $100usd each, which felt like a steal.
9 PM: Golden Gai bar (Bar Araku)
We wandered Golden Gai and went into a bar where the entrance fee was waived for foreigners called Bar Araku. It was very small but had great vibes, highly recommend. I drank too much sake, which will be a theme.

Thursday: Shinjuku

4 AM: Earthquake
The phone alerts are insanely loud! We rushed down to the hotel lobby and the only other people there were fellow foreigners - apparently Japanese people at the hotel knew a 5.1 is okay to sleep through.
9 AM: Shinjuku Gyoen
We strolled around in the sun taking photos for about 3 hours. Today is a lot less planned than yesterday - I kind of wish I’d switched the itineraries after how long getting the JR Pass took. We did go to the fancy Starbucks, of course.
12 PM: Lunch (Kaiten Sushi Numazuto)
We tried to go to a nearby sushi place but it was full, so we walked up to Kaiten Sushi Numazuto. We were a little disappointed it wasn’t actually conveyor belt sushi (the conveyor belt was for show and you ordered from the staff). Stopped in Bic camera afterwards for a bit.
2 PM: Ninja Trick House
We tried to go to the Samurai museum but learned it closed a few weeks ago. A good excuse to go to the Ninja Trick House instead. You’re thinking: “Isn’t that place for children?” Yes. Yes it is. And we loved every minute. I now have a camera roll full of myself being terrible at throwing stars. The dream.
3 PM: Don Quijote
More Don Quijote, mostly to get out of the rain. Got my last few beauty products I really wanted and a few souvenirs. An overstimulating heaven.
6 PM: 3-hour Shinjuku Foodie Tour
We signed up for a 3-hour “foodie tour” of Shinjuku that stopped at a sushi place, a Japanese bbq spot with insane wagyu beef, and a sake tasting spot. It was great, and we loved our guide, but wished it had stopped at a few more spots to try more things.
9 PM: Walk around Shinjuku
We attempted to play pachinko, got very confused and lost $7. Tourism!

Friday: Hakone

7 AM: Set up luggage forwarding to Kyoto with hotel
Luggage forwarding is brilliant. We did it twice and it went so smoothly, for about $10 USD per bag. Highly recommend.
9 AM: Transit to Hakone
We got to experience Japanese transit at rush hour. I can’t believe I have to go back to the MTA after this. We took the subway to Tokyo station and then the Shinkansen to Odawara, then a train to Hakone-Yumoto. The hotel was only a 20-minute walk away, so we decided to take a more scenic route - which turned out to be a forest hike straight up switchbacks most of the way.
11 AM: Lunch in Hakone (Hatsuhana)
We stopped in a soba place called Hatsuhana with a system of writing your name down and waiting outside to be called in. They skipped our names because they weren’t in Japanese, but let us in when they realized their mistake. The soba was made and served by old aunties so of course it was insanely good and well worth it.
1 PM: Hakone Open Air Museum
We took the train down to the Hakone Open Air Museum, which lived up to the hype. I’m not normally into sculpture, but seeing it in nature, and the way the museum is laid out, made it incredible. And obviously the Picasso exhibit was amazing.
3 PM: Owakudani, Pirate Ship, Hakone Checkpoint
We took the train to the cable car to Owakudani, then the ropeway to Togendai, then the pirate ship ferry to Motohakone. We were running behind so unfortunately had to rush through the Hakone Checkpoint, which was empty but very cool.
6 PM: Dinner at hotel
Back to our hotel for our kaiseki meal. The staff spoke very little English and Google struggled with the menu, so we had no idea what we were eating half the time, but overall it was pretty good.
9 PM: Onsen time
Experienced my first public onsen, followed by the private onsen in our room. The tatami sleep did wonders for my back.

Saturday: Travel to Kyoto, Philosopher’s Path, Gion

8 AM: Breakfast, travel to Kyoto
Took the train to Odawara and then the Shinkansen to Kyoto station. We booked all of our Shinkansen seats about a week in advance but you can also book them on the day, I believe.
1 PM: Lunch in Gion
Our Kyoto hotel let us check in early, and then we went looking for lunch. Quickly learned that most every place in the Gion area has a line outside and closes at 2! We eventually found a tiny spot with insanely good ramen. It also had chicken sashimi on the menu but we weren’t brave enough.
2 PM: Philosopher’s Path, Ginkaku-ji
We took a bus over to the Philosopher’s Path, which was not busy at all because of the rain. It was pretty, and I could see how great it would look in cherry blossom season. We had to kind of rush to Ginkaku-ji, which was gorgeous nonetheless.
4 PM: Honen-in, Nanzen-ji
Stopped by Honen-in (which we had completely to ourselves, thanks rain!) and then Nanzen-ji. My bf is a big history guy and he went feral for the Hojo rock garden. It was very pretty and I’d love to see it in better weather.
6 PM: Food Tour of Gion & Pontocho
This food tour stopped at two places (an izakaya and a standing bar) with a walking tour of Gion and Pontocho in between. We also stopped at Yasaka shrine and caught a rehearsal of a traditional Japanese performance.
10 PM: Pain
My feet hurt so bad. Bring waterproof shoes, but make sure they don’t have 5 year old insoles. I tried some stick-on cooling acupuncture foot pads I picked up at Donki and they were bliss.

Sunday: Arashiyama, The Golden Pavilion and Tea Ceremony

8 AM: Arashiyama Bamboo Forest
The forecast was for heavy rain all day, but we lucked out and only got a few drizzles here and there. We headed to Arashiyama Bamboo Forest in the morning and it wasn’t too crowded. We did have an amazing bamboo dish at dinner last night so now bamboo makes me hungry.
10 AM: Tenryu-ji, Iwatayama Monkey Park
Headed over to Tenryu-ji, which was very nice but very crowded, and then to one of the things I looked forward to most on the trip, the Iwatayama Monkey Park. It’s a 20 minute hike up there but it is worth it. Oh my god. Getting to feed a baby monkey made my whole week.
12 PM: Lunch near Arashiyama (Udon Arashiyama-tei)
Headed back down to the main road and got duck udon at a little place called Udon Arashiyama-tei. I know I keep calling everything incredible but… yes.
1 PM: Ginkaku-ji
Ran into some bus issues (the first time we experienced anything public transit-wise not running as expected!) but eventually got over to Ginkaku-ji. It was also very crowded (seems like Japanese schools are big on field trips, which I’m jealous of) and not my favorite temple, but beautiful nonetheless.
3 PM: Daitoku-ji
We were ahead of schedule so we got to spend some time at our meeting place for the tea ceremony, Daitoku-ji. It ended up being our favorite temple, especially Daisen-in, a small and very quiet spot with a great self-guided tour. The monks showed us a section normally closed to non-Japanese tourists with beautiful calligraphy.
4 PM: Tea Ceremony (90 mins)
The tea ceremony we booked said it was in groups of up to ten, but it ended up being just us. It was very nice and relaxing, plus we got a little meal.
6 PM: Dinner (Gion Kappa), Pontocho Alley
We both nearly fell asleep on the bus back so we took it easy for the night. Went to an izakaya called Gion Kappa which had the best tuna belly we’d ever eaten, then did a quick walk around Pontocho Alley, got treats at 7-11 and went to bed early.

Monday: Fushimi Inari, Nishiki Market, Kyoto Imperial Palace (kinda)

9 AM: Fushimi Inari
Our plans to get up super early to beat the crowds to Fushimi Imari were hampered by the fact that we are no longer in our 20s. It was packed by the time we got there, and the amount of littering and defacing done by tourists was a bummer.
11 AM: Tofuku-ji
We had planned to go to the Imperial Palace at 10:30 for the Aoi Parade, but decided instead to get away from crowds by hiking from Fushimi Inari to Tofuku-ji, which was beautiful (I’d love to see it in the fall).
12 PM: Nishiki Market, lunch (Gyukatsu)
Grabbed lunch first at Gyukatsu (wagyu katsu - delicious) then wandered Nishiki a bit. It’s touristy, but fun.
2 PM: Kyoto Gyoen, Kyoto Handicraft Center
It was supposed to rain all day but ended up sunny, so we went back to the hotel to drop off our rain jackets and umbrellas. Stepped back outside and within ten minutes it was raining. We went to Kyoto Gyoen and saw the outside of the imperial palace; it was closed because of the parade earlier and half the garden was blocked off because the former emperor was visiting. Without the palace, Kyoto Gyoen is kind of meh. We walked over to Kyoto Handicraft Center which was also meh, but we picked up some nice lacquerware.
7:30 PM: Dinner at Roan Kiku Noi
We had a reservation at Roan Kiku Noi where we had maybe the best meal of our lives. Amazing that it only has two Michelin stars, honestly. Had fun trying to decipher the pain meds aisle at a Japanese pharmacy afterwards and then called it a night.

Tuesday: Day Trip to Nara

8 AM: Travel to Nara
We took the subway to the JR and were there in about an hour.
9 AM: Nara Deer Park
Two things about the Nara deer. One: if you bow to them, they bow back, and it’s very cute. And two, if you buy the 200y rice crackers to feed to them, do it somewhere where there aren’t very many of them. I got mobbed by like 15 deer and bitten 3 times. My fault for having skin approximately the shade of a rice cracker.
10 AM: Kofuku-ji, Nara National Museum
We saw Kofuku-ji and then the Nara National Museum, then stopped at a random little cafe for rice bowls with some kind of regional sauce (I can’t find it now!).
12 PM: Isetan Garden
We spent a long time finding the entrance to the Isetan garden only for it to be closed on Tuesdays.
2 PM: Giant Buddha
Saw Nandaimon Gate and the Daibutsu (giant Buddha), which are both every bit as enormous and glorious as advertised, as well as very crowded.
3 PM: Kasuga-taisha Shrine
Wandered over to Kasuga-taisha shrine, which is famous for its hundreds of lanterns and thousand-year-old trees. There’s a special inner area (paid) where you can see the lanterns lit up in the dark.
4 PM: Wait for the emperor
We got held up by a procession for, guess who, the former emperor again. Stalker.
5 PM: Nara shopping and snacks
Walked around Higashimuki Shopping Street and Mochiidono Shopping Arcade, bought a nice sake set and an amazing little hand-painted cat, ate some red bean paste pancakes and headed back to Kyoto.
7 PM: Dinner in Kyoto
Walked around Pontocho searching for dinner and landed on Yoshina, where we got even more kaiseki. Finished the night at Hello Dolly, a gorgeous jazz bar overlooking the river.

Wednesday: Day Trip to Osaka

7 AM: Depart hotel
Started by taking the subway to the JR. Took us about an hour altogether, though it would have been faster if we’d caught the express.
9 AM: Osaka Castle
We got to Osaka Castle in time for it to hit 85 degrees out. The outside of the castle is gorgeous, but the line to get in was long and I don’t know if the museum parts were worth the wait, especially with the crowds. The view from the top is nice, though.
12 PM: Okonomiyaki lunch (Abeton)
We went to an okonomiyaki spot in Avetica station called Abeton that was full of locals and absolutely bomb as hell.
1 PM: Shitteno-ji, Keitakuen Gardens
We headed to Shitteno-ji (our oldest temple yet) which was nice, though the climb to the top of then 5 story pagoda wasn’t worth the sweat. Then we walked over to Keitakuen Gardens, a small but gorgeous garden in Tennoji Park. Had a nice sit in the shade to digest and plan our next moves.
3 PM: Ebisuhigasbi, Mega Don Quijote
I am a crazy person, so I had to go to the Mega Don Quijote. We walked around Ebisuhigasbi for a while first, and while I was buying gifts in Donki, my boyfriend entered a sushi challenge for westerners (which turned out to just be “can a white boy handle wasabi”) and won a bunch of random crap! Now we own Japanese furniture wipes.
5 PM: Dotonbori & America-mura
We took the Osaka Loop to the Dotonbori area, which was super crowded as expected. We walked around America-mura and enjoyed seeing what they think of us. There are great designer vintage clothing shops here if that’s your thing.
6 PM: Dinner (Jiyuken)
We tried to get into Koni Doraku, a crab restaurant, but they were booked up, so we went to a tiny spot called Jiyuken for curry instead. I would do things for this curry. It was the platonic ideal of curry. It was served by old Japanese aunties from a very old recipe, so we knew it was going to be good, but it exceeded our wildest expectations… for <1000y each.
7 PM: Return to Kyoto
My feet were feeling real bad (the Nikes may look cool but they cannot support 25k steps a day) so we headed back to Kyoto and packed for our early morning tomorrow.

Thursday: Travel to Koyasan, Temple Stay

8 AM: Bus from Kyoto to Koyasan
The transit from Kyoto to Mt Koya is complicated, so we ended up just booking a bus directly from Kyoto Station to Koyasan (which barely cost more than public transit!). We got there bright and early for the 3 hour trip - if you take a bus out of Kyoto Station I definitely recommend giving yourself extra time to navigate to the right bus.
11 AM: Arrive at Eko-in, lunch
We arrived in Mt Koya and checked in to our temple, Eko-in. The quiet and the beauty hit me hard and I fell asleep for a few hours. We got a nice lunch at Hanabishi in town.
4 PM: Meditation class, dinner
The temple offered a meditation class, which was lovely, followed by a vegan dinner in our rooms. I can’t explain how peaceful this place was.
7 PM: Okuno-in Cemetery
We signed up for a monk-led tour of Okuno-in, which was definitely worth it. Came back for some public baths and fell asleep to the sound of rainfall.

Friday: Travel to Kanazawa, Higashi Chaya District

7 AM: Service & ritual at Eko-in
The day started with a religious service and a fire ritual at the temple. Both were stunning. I did wish that my fellow tourists had been a bit more respectful by showing up on time and following directions, but luckily, no one has more patience than a Buddhist monk.
9 AM: Travel to Kanazawa
We took a taxi through some sketchy mountain roads to Gokurakubashi Station, took two trains to Osaka Station, and then the JR Thunderbird to Kanazawa.
1 PM: Arrive at Kanazawa, Lunch (Maimon)
We got into Kanazawa station and went straight for a sushi spot called Maimon, which was delicious. Struggled a bit with the bus system and eventually got to our hotel, Utaimachi.
4 PM: Higashi Chaya District
Wandered the Higashi Chaya district a bit. It seemed kind of dead, but maybe we are just used to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo/Kyoto.
7 PM: Korinbo, dinner (Uguisu)
Walked down to the Korinbo area southwest of the park and found a tiny ramen spot called Uguisu. Incredible. Some of the best broth I’ve ever tasted plus amazing sous vide meats.
9 PM: Bar in Korinbo (Kohaku)
Went to a little upstairs whiskey bar called Kohaku. Boyfriend got Japanese whiskey and they made me a custom cocktail with sake, pineapple and passion fruit that was just insane. They were very nice and talked baseball with us for a while.

Saturday: Omicho Market, Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum

9 AM: Kenroku-en Garden
We walked over to Kenroku-en Gardens, which were as beautiful as advertised. I was hurting pretty bad (crampy ladies, just know Japanese OTC painkillers are much weaker than ours, BYO Advil) so we’re moving slowly today.
12 PM: Omicho Market, lunch (Iki-Iki Sushi)
Walked to Omicho Market and ate little bits from different stalls, then waited about an hour to get into Iki-Iki Sushi. It was worth it. Some of the best, freshest sushi of my life.
2 PM: Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art
We walked around Kanazawa Castle a bit, then walked over to the 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art. It was packed and the line to get tickets to the special exhibits was crazy, so we looked at the free ones and then headed back. Along the way we stopped in a few little stores and bought some handcrafted lacquerware from a local artist.
6 PM: Onnagawa Festival, dinner (Huni)
As we walked towards the restaurant, we came upon the Onnagawa Festival on the Plum Bridge, which included a beautiful dancing ceremony and lantern lighting. We went to Huni for dinner, our first “westernized Japanese” restaurant, and it was fantastic. 9 dishes served slowly over 3 hours at a table overlooking the river. Highly recommend if you’re in Kanazawa.
10 PM: Why does the bathtub have a phone
We went back to our hotel, struggled with the automated bathtub, and enjoyed our last night on tatami floors.

Sunday: Travel to Tokyo, Tokyo Giants Game, Ueno Park

7 AM: Travel to Tokyo
Grabbed a taxi we arranged the night before to Kanazawa Station - it would have been an easy bus journey but our number of bags has increased - and boarded the Shinkansen for Tokyo.
12 PM: Travel to Tokyo Dome and Tokyo Dome Park
Dropped our bags at our hotel in Asakusa, then headed for Tokyo Dome. We got there a little early to look around - there’s basically a full mall and food court and amusement park there. We grabbed some beers and some chicken katsu curry that was delicious.
2 PM: Tokyo Giants vs Chunichi Dragons
Japanese baseball games are so. much. fun. This was a random mid season game, and the stadium was full and people were amped. I’ve been to many American baseball games and never seen fans this excited. We also scored some fried cheese-wrapped hot dogs on a stick and a few more beers and had the time of our lives cheering for the Giants.
5 PM: Ueno Park
After trying and failing to find the jersey we were looking for, we walked to Ueno Park and looked around a bit. It was lovely, but we were exhausted and full of too many beers, so we headed back to Asakusa.
7 PM: Dinner in Asakusa
There was a festival all day around Shinso-ji and there were a ton of street vendors and day-drunk people when we arrived in the afternoon (as a native Louisianan, I approve) and it seemed like the partiers were going on into the night. We ducked into a restaurant for some buckwheat soba (never got the name, but it was only okay) and tucked in early.

Monday: Tsukiji Food Tour, Kapabashi Dougu, Akihabara

8 AM: 3-hour Tsukiji Food Tour + lunch
We started the day with a Tsukiji food tour, which ended up being my favorite food tour of the 3 by far. The guide was great, and we stopped by a dozen food stalls and sampled everything from mochi to fresh tuna to octopus cakes. We finished with lunch at Sushi Katsura, where our chef prepared everything in front of us.
12 PM: Imperial Palace, Don Quijote
We were planning to spend the afternoon exploring the Imperial Palace and Edo Castle Ruins, but it was hot and the palace was closed, so we walked to Taira no Masakado's Grave, then headed back to Asakusa for, you guessed it, Don Quijote. I did not intend for this trip to be “guess how many Don Quijotes I can visit” but here we are. We bought another suitcase and I filled it with food and gifts to bring home.
3 PM: Kappabashi Dougu
We walked Kappabashi Dougu and browsed kitchenwares while wishing we had a bigger kitchen, an unlimited budget and a way to get a hundred pounds of porcelain home in one piece.
6 PM: Akihabara dinner + games + drinks
We took the train to Akihabara, got dinner at Tsukada Nojo, then played games in a few arcades and ended the night at Game Bar A-button, which lets you play vintage handheld games while you drink.

Tuesday: Senso-ji, Flight

9 AM: Breakfast, Senso-ji
We got breakfast pancakes at Kohikan, then walked around Senso-ji and the surrounding shopping streets for a while.
12 PM: McDonald’s
Look, I couldn’t leave Japan without doing it, okay? I got the Teriyaki Chicken Burger (too sloppy and sweet) and bf got the Ebi Filet-O (he said it tasted exactly like a Filet-O-Fish). It was not great but I deserve that!
3 PM: Cab to the airport
I caught the flu on the flight home and have now been in bed for a week! Welcome back to America, baby.

Cannabis concentrate production isn't something that's been being accomplished cleanly and at the levels done today, ever. We figured this stuff out in the backyards of peoples homes starting with simpler forms of illicitly produced Hash oil like butane HashOil. BHO is One of the most dangerous forms to produce due to the volatility of butane. Indoors, people.mistamkimgly make it and thunk that butane, a gas, will float. But butane is heavier than air and sinks in stale air. When that layer reaches the outlet, it ignitez the butane then the air. So what is the "sugaring or buddering" up of a concentrate bad? Is it the cannabis breaking down? Or is it bad storage? Moisture? It's actually a combination of these factors or one of them or all of them, were not certain. We understand what is happening but the exact reason why and especially making it preventable really isn't possible. Sugaring is when your live solid easily breakable shatter slab turns into a sticky mess in the paraphrase paper. While shatter does smell, sugaring or buddering causes an intensification of the potency of the terpenes. The terp sauce in the case of this 2 gram slab actually started to seperate from the tricomes. There was actually sap on the paraphane paper. The whole process is the trichomes attempting to return to their natural state. This can be brought on by a variety of factors according to the research I've done and what I know about shatter and concentrate processing. THC is a very complex and touchy girl to work with once she's extracted away from her home base in the plant. Even after the super critical co2 extraction the THCa is stable, as it is able to attach to the solvent ajd remain stable there. This has to do with the atomic affinity of substances and gets bery scientifcally complex. The filtration wipe known as decaboxylation.....this is the key. By the key I mean that it is the unstable nature of THC when not attached to the solvent or exsisiting as THCa OR in its natural state that's seems relative to the tendency for shatter to sugar up, aka nucleation back to the tricomes more natural state. Depending in the type of extraction process used to create the oil being winterized, depends on whether winterization is a necessary step or whether the lipids should be removed. sometimes it isnt dinancially sensible to do so,, sometimes it cant be avoided to produce better quality aestehtically pleasing concentrate, pull more beyyer terpenes, and other factors. The whole process of winterization requires that heat be used at specific temperature, between 80°F & 146°F to precipitate the fats and lipids from the material. Then clold is used to solidify and seperate thise fats to be removed from the product. The "wipe" is a process that is quite complex but im going to explain it because im proud of myself for having discerned what is happening with the wipe. The wipe is the process by which cannabis concentrate is debarboxylozed. But Why THCa is so sensitive, why when turning to THC it wants to convert back to THCa or attach to some other molecule to stabilize or when agitated the shatter homogenized with its consoturlent cannabinoids begind the return to the batural tricones form. I won't get into the atomic reason for this but it has to do with balance at the atomic level. This is all relative to the sugaring up Of cannabis as this is the lipids not totally homogenizing with cannabinoids like they intially did due to a multitude of reasons.Just as the THCa tries to revert back to its stable state as THC during filtration seems to me quite similar to homogenized shatter reverting back to its natural form, tricome formation. Superchilling cannabis concentrate extracted via supercritical co2 extraction for example, is necessary to get the lipids to appropriately seperate. Lipids coagulae at lower temperature in an ethanol solvent, as at higher temperatures the lipids are dissolved in the concentrate. The wipe takes oil that has been partially processed through supercritical extraction, and it runs through a condensing heating and supercooling process, and some other processes I don't quite understand totally but is the decarboxylation process. So why is it so urgently inportant in processing cannabis concentrate to remove lipids? One of the main reasons is the possibility of lipid induced Pneumonia. I find it interesting that THCA is so finicky to work with when drying to decaroxylize the material. decarboxylation is what happens when cannabis is vaporized or smoked or during the VTA wipe, which can be acieved in a multitude of approaches. This can be using a rotary machine to turn an erlym myer flask of pilfthat is being rotated inside of a heated bath of liquid. This is similar to the wipe process I decesribe using indicti e heating and a subzero chilled super cooled central collection rod.. The main area is a wipe against the outside inner face of a Jar like aparratus. In the center is another jar sealed and therein is a supercharged rod. The glass that the lil is in contact with is inductively heated very slowly. The friction from the wipe adds heat to the process and the oil gets thinned. The slow heating is paired in a way with the thinning of the oil so that the lil reaches its flash point just as it is thinned to the appropriate thickness at which it Vaporizer properly. This vaporization or breaking apart of THCa and alcohol is possible but THCa wants to reattach to the alcohol molecule. To keep that from happening the rod at the center is meant to counteract this. That rod has more of a pull within the vacuum of the jar. The molecule is able to flash over and pass through to the center container without spilling out oil or pulling a vuccum in the wipe container. Because there is a vacuum with special airways through which the molecules can pass into the vacuumed inner chamber, that is why. The alcohol is vaporized and is pulled off using a pump, as with most extraction processes the alcohol is drawn off. The filtration of the lipids does take place at the higher pressure Cook temperatures as well using an enclosed buchner filter in a pressure cooker for example. This product is what is frozen in the freezer. After the pressure cooking and removal of residuals and lipids at higher temperatures topping at 146° F It is inportnat to maintain subzero temperature of the solvent and to maximize the efficiency of winterization. This winterization of fats can be compared to refrigerating a cooked pot roast. When heated the fats stay suspended throughout the compound,.product or in this case of cannabis concentrate stays suspended throughout the solvent solutiom. As the meat cools just like as you cool the solvent and oil, the lipids and fat seperate and are abke to fiber fiktered out. Filtration is important because too fine can dmamage the cellular level of the product, or allowing alcohol tothrough to the center if the cannabis particles.causing undesirable residuals to be pulled off more easily. The important thing here is that the speed at which the molecules can pass through the medium, through the container. You could I would imagine heat the jar more to push flashing in more oil. But this is also the process responsible for the not 100% potency of THCa in cannabis. Some isnalways lost during processing, a large part can be lost here if not done.properly. I thought about this because one reason that shatter can turn into sugar or budder is by the oil being agitated too much during this time period of extraction. Some cannabis strains are simply more susceptible to to sugaring back to the natural trichome form. If you whip this material with the sauce. You can turn it into budder. And naturally it wants to stay in this form. One way people try to prevent this is through winterization which is supposed to de wax the trichomes. This sugaring process has to do with the waxy layer that surrounds the heads of trichomes. If not fully homogenized for whatever reason such as agitation during VTA distillation, or if homogenization starts due to improper storage or hydro-phillic cannabis strains drawing moisture. The winterization process if done properly is supposed to remove the waxes totally, but many say this effects the end production terpene profile potency and shatter already has a fairly low terpene profile compared to budder or live resins.
Continued on Patreon.com/Appalachianterpology 👇 https://www.patreon.com/posts/what-is-of-does-83798189/edit

Hi friends x) So when I (26) was diagnosed back in 2017 I was at a treatment center for my ED. They missed a few things back then, but I was taking medications for anxiety and mood stabilization for two years following my diagnosis. I don’t remember why I stopped, but my dad left late ‘18 and he took the insurance w him lol. I haven’t had health coverage since. (Unless you count my dental when I worked at the dealership)(which I did use to get the crown to replace my impacted wisdom tooth that took me a couple years to go in to get extracted...)
Anyway, so begins the journey of self medicating. I’ve been using cannabis since 8th grade, though I understand the power of the tool to way more of an extent these days. Last year I was smoking wax three-5 x a day, that was a low time for me for sure. I’ve never had a “issue” w alcohol, (thanks to my stomach) but I have noticed that it just makes me like hella ADHD and keeps me awake until I’ve exhausted all my energies. I’ve done my bit of micro dosing w mushies, and I very much enjoyed that summer lol. The most I did at once was 7gs.(overall that was a good trip but it had its scary moments, would not recommend to un-experienced users x) I was in a weird state for a few months after that.. I think that trip might have manifested the next episode I had, which led me to finally step away from the toxic environment I was living in. All I wanted was some peace, had to eat 7gs and move 1200 miles away to finally find it apparently..
Anywhoo.. I have since found, that I prefer indica strains of cannabis, and that an addy here a xan there, does me alright. And there may be a place in town that’ll help me get a prescription without insurance.
The mood stabilizers made me feel more manic. I don’t remember much but even my mom thought that I was just getting high. (Should have noted that until last year I was going to NA) Birth control pill also threw me for a ride as far as hormonal imbalances go, so I don’t really want mood stabilizers again. I’m just too moody. I’m open to my mind being changed tho. I don’t want to be scared of myself. Kinda want more mushies but don’t trust myself with dosing.
If you self medicate, or even self diag/ therapize.. how do you deal?? Like what’s the plan eh? How do I.. what do I.. I just kinda want help... Srsly anything helps x) TY & MWAH (;you’re awesome;)
PS. I think I should thank my literal Last addy in my possession, for calming me down today(anybody else) I wouldn’t have redownloaded Reddit unless I really needed someone’s words aside from the ones in my head... love u all

Yankees ONLY. US ONLY.
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Hey, guys. Back again to sell off some records & cassettes I don't listen to anymore. Prices have been reduced on most of the items. All records are unsealed unless noted otherwise. All records ship with outer sleeves.
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I ship out of California. Shipping is included in the price. Reasonable offers will be accepted.
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PayPal Goods & Services is the only form of payment I accept.
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Please leave a comment and PM me if interested in anything on the list below.
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~~~LINK TO LIST~~~
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THANK YOU ALL
EDIT: HERE IS A LIST OF WHAT IS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE. PLEASE REFER TO THE GOOGLE DOC FOR DISCOGS LINK FOR EXACT PRESSING DETAILS.
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ACTRESSAZD2LP / LTD 500 [CLEAR]NM$20
ACTRESSKARMA & DESIRE2LP / LTD 300 [WHITE] EURO PRESSINGNM$40
ADMIRAL RADLEYI HEART CALIFORNIABLACKVG+ [JACKET FRAYED ON TOP]$20
ADVANCE BASEA SHUT-IN'S PRAYERLIMITED EDITION MARBLED WAX [1000], INCLUDES HYPE STICKER AND ORIGINAL TIP-ON SLEEVENM$25
AGENT ORANGESURF PUNKS [COMP]LTD RE [WHITE]NM$30
ARCADE FIRESUBURBS, THE2LP / BLACKNM$35
BADBADNOTGOOD & GHOSTFACE KILLAHSOUR SOUL1ST UK PRESSING, BLACK [NO CD]NM$50
BEACH FOSSILSCLASH THE TRUTH + DEMOSLTD RE [PINK]NM$40
BEACH HOUSETEEN DREAM2LP / BLACK WITH DVD, WAX IS PRISTINE, COMES WITH POSTER, POSTER HAS THUMBTACK HOLESVG [JACKET SHOWS SHELF WEAR]$40
BLOOD ORANGEANGEL'S PULSEBLACKNM$20
BRNDADO YOU LIKE SALT?LTD 100 [JADE]NM$25
BROWN, DANNYATROCITY EXHIBITION2LP / LTD [PINK]NM$70
CARNIFEXHELL CHOSE MELTD 400 [CLEAR]VG$40
DANNY BROWNUKNOWHATIMSAYIN¿BLACK, NO STICKERS, STILL HAS ORIGINAL SLEEVENM$20
DEAD KENNEDYSFRESH FRUIT FOR ROTTING VEGETABLESBLACK, RE, RMNM$30
DEAD KENNEDYSIN GOD WE TRUST, INC.12" EP, BLACK [PORTUGAL IMPORT]NM$40
DENT MAYLATE CHECKOUTLTD [BABY BLUE]NM$20
DRAKE & FUTUREWHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVEBLACKNM$40
DRUMS, THEBRUTALISMLTD [CRYSTAL CLEAR]NM$25
DRUMS, THETHE DRUMSRP, BLACK, GATEFOLDNM$40
DRY CLEANINGNEW LONG LEGLTD [YELLOW]NM$25
DRY CLEANINGSTUMPWORKLTD [WHITE] WITH 7" [SPLATTER]NM$40
EL TEN ELEVENEL TEN ELEVEN15TH ANNIVERSARY LTD EDITION [AMBER] WITH FLEXI DISCNM$25
EL TEN ELEVENNEW YEAR'S EVEVIP LTD 523 [BLUE/WHITE MARBLED] WITH LATHE CUT 7"NM$20
FEARTHE RECORDRE, [WHITE], 7" [RED]NM$45
FUGAZIFUGAZIRE, RP, [RED]NM$20
GALCHER LUSTWERKINFORMATIONLTD [BLUE SMOKE]NM$35
GAY KISSPRESERVATION MEASURESLTD 100 [WHITE]NM$20
GIRLSFATHER, SON, HOLY GHOSTLTD 1,500, 2LP [ONE WHITE, ONE BLACK]NM$25
GRIMESVISIONSBLACKNM$25
HAPPY DAGGERHAPPY DAGGERLTD 300 [PURPLE & BONE]NM$20
HAPPY DAGGERNOWHEREBLACKNM$20
HATCHIESUGAR & SPICE12", EP, SINGLE SIDED, ETCHED, [ELECTRIC BLUE]NM$20
HERBIE HANCOCKDIRECTSTEP2019 RSD EXCLUSIVE, RE, STEREO, OBINM$25
JAMIE XXIN COLOURLTD RE, RM [PURPLE]NM [SMALL BOTTOM LEFT CORNER DING]$60
JEFFERSON AIRPLANESURREALISTIC PILLOWHollywood pressing, Stereo, wax shows faint hairline blemishes that do not affect play, the album sleeve looks very good for its age, ships with inner and out sleeveVG+$40
JIM LANGHEY ARNOLD! THE MUSIC VOL. 1LTD [TRANSPARENT YELLOW LOCKET]NM$30
JPEGMAFIABLACK BEN CARSON3LP, RE, BLACKNM$60
JPEGMAFIATHE GHOST~POP TAPETRASHFUCK RECORDS 2022 CASSETTE REISSUE BATMAN VARIANT LIMITED TO 40 COPIESNM$60
JPEGMAFIATHE ROCKWOOD EPTRASHFUCK RECORDS 2022 CASSETTE REISSUE LIMITED TO 100 COPIESNM$40
JUNG JAE ILPARASITE [FILM SOUNDTRACK]SACRED BONES, 2LP, LTD 200 [PEACH WITH OBI]NM$50
KENDRICK LAMARMR. MORALE & THE BIG STEPPERS2LP, LTD [GOLD]NM$40
KENDRICK LAMARGOOD KID, MAAD CITY2LP, LTD [CLEAR]NM$25
KING KRULE6 FEET BENEATH THE MOON2LP, LTD 600 [GREY], RE, TURNTABLE LAB EXCLUSIVENM$45
LADY SOVEREIGNVERTICALLY CHALLENGED2LP, BLACKNM$25
LYNYRD SKYNYRD(PRONOUNCED 'LĔH-'NÉRD 'SKIN-'NÉRD)Pinckneyville pressing, gatefold, album sleeve has approx. 3" seam split on bottom right of gatefold, wax has blemishes from manufacturer SUCH AS 2 very noticeable pits on A SIDE that do not affect play, some surface noice throughout play, but no skipsVG+$25
MAC DEMARCO22LP, LTD TRI-COLOR [VICEROY]NM$40
MADVILLAINMADVILLAINY2LP, RE, BLACKNM$25
MAYER HAWTHORNEA STRANGE ARRANGEMENT2LP, BLACK, [COVER IS EMBOSSED TO GIVE "ALLIGATOR SKIN" TEXTURE]NM$50
MAYER HAWTHORNEMAN ABOUT TOWNLTD [CLEAYELLOW SPLATTER] AUTOGRAPHED BY MAYER HAWTHORNE HIMSELFNM$60
MF DOOMOPERATION: DOOMSDAY2LP, RE, ORIGINAL COVER, BLACKNM$25
MILT JACKSONOLINGAGATEFOLD, ALBUM SLEEVE HAS HOLE PUNCH-LIKE CUT ON JACKET SPINE TOWARDS THE TOP, WAX IS PRISTINENM$20
MINOR THREATMINOR THREATCOMP, RE, RM, 45RPM, YELLOW COVER, WAX HAS SUPERFICIAL BLEMISHES FROM MANUFACTURER THAT DOESN'T AFFECT PLAY. POSTER INCLUDED. NM$25
MORRISSEYBEST OF2LP, RE, COMPNM$30
NAOMI PUNKTELEVISION MANALBUM SLEEVE HAS SOME SLIGHT CREASES ON TOP, LEFT, & BOTTOM, COMES WITH PRINTED INSERT, WAX IS PRISTINENM$20
OF MONTREALAUREATE GLOOMLTD EARLY BIRD EDITION [GOLD]NM$20
OF MONTREALUR FUNLTD EARLY BIRD EDITION [HALF BLACK/HALF WHITE] COMES WITH 7" FLEXI DISCNM$35
PIXIESDOOLITTLERE, BLACKNM$30
RADIOHEADKID A2LP, 10", LTD, 33RPM, RE, 140GRM, SOME SURFACE NOISE THRU RECORD THAT DOES NOT CAUSE PLAYBACK ISSUESVG+$60
RADIOHEADKING OF LIMBSBLACK, RE, RPNM$20
RADIOHEADIN RAINBOWSMISPRINT, RP, INNER SLEEVE ARRIVED WITH SEAM SPLIT ON CENTER BOTTOM. WAX WAS TRANSFERRED TO INVEST-IN-VINYL INNER SLEEVE. NM$45
RAMONESRAMONESRE, STEREO, 180GRMNM$40
RAMONESROAD TO RUINJACKSONVILLE PRESSING, STEREO, VINYL IS GLOSSYNM$50
RAMONESROCKET TO RUSSIARE, 180GRMNM$30
ROBERT GLASPER EXPERIMENTBLACK RADIO2LP, 2012 EURO PRESSINGNM$50
SLIFTSPACE IS THE KEY / LA PLANETE INEXLPOREERough Trade Exclusive LTD 200 [Clear with Purple/Blue Splatter]NM$100
SLIPKNOTALL OUT LIFE / UNSAINTED 7"RSD 7" PICTURE DISC, NEVER PLAYEDM$20
SLIPKNOTIOWA [BOOTLEG]ROLLIN' RECORDS BOOTLEG, 2LP, GREY VINYL, SINGLE SLEEVENM$20
SLIPKNOTVOL 3: SUBLIMINAL VERSES2LP, RE, LTD [VIOLET]NM$30
SMITHS, THEHATFUL OF HOLLOWCOMP, RE, 180GRMNM$25
SMITHS, THELOUDER THAN BOMBS2LP, COMP, RE, RMNM$50
SMITHS, THETHE SMITHSRE, RM, 180GRM, [REMASTERING SUPERVISED BY JOHNNY MARR]VG [LOOKS LIKE A SMALL BITE MARK ON UPPER LEFT CORNER OF ALBUM, BUT VINYL ITSELF IS PRISTINE]$35
SMITHS, THEPEEL SESSIONS 1983-1986BOOTLEG, purchased secondhand, album sleeve shows general wear, but wax is pristineVG+$30
SPICE 1187 HE WROTE [PROMO]1993 PROMO [DOES NOT HAVE ALBUM ART], RECORD PLAYS WELLG$30
SPICE 1187 HE WROTEARMABILLION RECORDZ LTD 275 [40 OF THOSE CAME WITH A POSTETHIS ONE HAS A POSTER] NM$120
SPICE 1AMERIKKKA'S NIGHTMARESMOKE ON RECORDS LTD 350 [BLUE, RED, WHITE SPLIT]NM$100
SPICE 1SPICE 1RE, GOT IT FROM GET ON DOWN RECORDSNM$35
SPRAY PAINTDOPERS45RPM, BLACKNM$15
SPRAY PAINTFEEL THE CLAMPSBLACKNM$15
SPRAY PAINTINTO THE COUNTRYBLACKNM$20
STAN GETZ WITH LAURINDO ALMEIDASTAN GETZ WITH GUEST ARTIST LAURINDO ALMEIDAMONO PRESSING, ALBUM SLEEVE CONTAINS PUNCH HOLE ON BOTTOM LEFT, WAX IS PRISTINEVG$20
SUICIDE SILENCENO TIME TO BLEEDSPECIAL EDITION, RED WAX, 180 GRAMNM$70
TAME IMPALAINNERSPEAKER2LP, RE, BLACKNM$20
TAME IMPALALONERISM2LP, RE, BLACKNM$20
THE STROKESTHE STROKESRE, 180GRM, GATEFOLDNM$20
THE STROKESROOM ON FIREVMP, RE, RM, LTD [YELLOW, BLUE, RED TRICOLOR] COMES WITH EVERYTHINGNM$35
TKAY MAIDZALAST YEAR WAS WEIRD VOL 212", EP, 45RPM, URBAN OUTFITTERS EXCLUSIVE LTD [WHITE]NM$30
TOKYO POLICE CLUBCHAMP10th Anniversary "Confetti" splatter vinyl with bonus 7" NM$80
TOOLUNDERTOW2LP, RE, MISPRINTNM$25
VARIOUSAMERICAN HARDCORE: THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN PUNK 1980 - 1986 COMP, LTD [BLUE], HAS BANDS LIKE BLACK FLAG, FLIPPER, GANG GREEN, BAD BRAINS, JERRY'S KIDS, ETCNM$50
VIET CONGVIET CONGFLEMISH EYE PRESSING, LTD [WHITE] 180GRMNM$50
WHITE STRIPES, THEMY SISTER THANKS YOU AND I THANK YOU...2LP, GREATEST HITS COMP, BLACK, INCLUDES ALL INSERTS MINUS HYPE STICKERNM$20
WHITE STRIPES, THEELEPHANT2LP, 2013, BLACK, RE, RP, 180 GRAM, VERY SMALL SEEM SPLIT ON ONE INSERTNM$30
WIPERSIS THIS REAL? Anniversary Edition 1980-2020JACKPOT RECORDS EXCLUSIVE LTD [CLEAR] WITH 7" [NO POSTER]NM$60
WOMENPUBLIC STRAINJAGJAGUWAR PRESSING, NO DOWNLOAD CODENM$35
WOMENWOMENJAGJAGUWAR PRESSING, NO DOWNLOAD CODENM$35
WOMENRARITIES 2007-2010FLEMISH EYE PRESSING, 12", 45RPM, COMPNM$20

"Whallopin' websnappers!"
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can. Spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies. Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man. Is he strong? Listen bud, he's got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread? Take a look overhead. Hey there, there goes the Spider-Man. In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime, like a streak of light, he arrives just in time. Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Wealth and fame he's ignored, action is his reward. To him, life is a great big bang-up, wherever there's a hang-up, you'll find the Spider-Man!
Strength
Striking

• Accidentally snaps a street lamp in half with a punch.
  
• Able to send regular men flying and knock them out with individual strikes, even when performed with unideal leverage.
  
• Able to send Mysterio flying across the room with individual strikes.
  
• Sends a man flying through a set of doors and a pile of crates with a punch.
  
• Punches Kingpin across the room hard enough to damage machinery. Kingpin describes himself as 300 pounds of solid muscle.
  
• Shoulders open a locked door.
  
• Stomps a file cabinet hard enough to send a drawer flying.
  
• Busts through elevator doors.
  
• Kicks a steel hatch out of its framing.
  

Swinging

• Flies through a frozen window.
  
• Swings straight through a boarded up window.
  
• Knocks a flying demon, almost twice the size of a regular person, out of the air and into the ground with a clashing swinging kick.
  
• Knocks an armored giant to the ground and knocks him out with a swinging kick.
  

Lifting & Throwing

• Lifts a manhole cover with one finger.
  
• Throws a man into Kingpin hard enough to send both into a wood wall hard enough to damage it.
  
• Stops and holds up a large ice pillar driving with enough force to shatter itself upon hitting the ground.
  
• Catches, lifts, and resets a marble collumn when its knocked over.
  

Pushing & Pulling

• Tears a metal chain off the wall.
  
• While chained to a wall, tears the chain by pulling.
  
• Busts out of a rope binding his arms.
  
  • With greater effort, busts out of a chain link net holding his whole body down.
• Runs while carrying a wooden table into a wall hard enough to heavily damage both.
  
• Bends open iron bars far enough to squeeze through.
  
• Buries the Lizard up to his waist with a shove while underwater.
  
• Tears apart a mechanical sea monster.
  
• Uses his webs to pull the legs out from under a seemingly stone giant.
  
• Lifts a toppled crane, though only seems confident in his ability to do so with a pulley system, rather than a deadlift.
  
• Holds back the Rhino charging with enough force to burst through a gas tanker (until he sneezes and is forced to let go).
  
• Tips over a massive stone statue with a leg press, struggles heavily to do so.
  

Other

• Hangs onto and climbs along the side of an in-flight airplane.
  
• Swings around a pair of gold bricks like bolas.
  
• Swings a revolver into the wall hard enough to shatter it.
  

Speed
Reactions & Dodging

• Doc Ock can't tag him with his quick moving tentacle arms.
  
• Isn't hit by a volley of icicles despite being trapped in the corner.
  
• Dodges a runaway roller coaster at the last second.
  
• Leaps out of the way of an armored truck's guns before it can fire on him.
  
• Dodges(?) a flamethrower.
  
• Dodges a thrown spear.
  
• Dodges a thrown sword at the last second, arrows fired from a bow, knocks a gun aside before it can fire then dodges a bullet from it.
  
• Spots and then dodges a falling sandbag at the last second.
  
• Catches himself from falling immediately after passing through a hole and inches before hitting a turbine.
  
• Dodges, though inconsistently, attacks that are described as "sonic blasts" or "sonic beams".
  
• Dodges a beam from some kind of unspecified energy gun.
  
• Dodges around bolts of energy fired from a machine.
  
• Dodges Electro's electricity.
  
• Dodges lightning bolts thrown by a Martian storm god.
  
• Dodges "a laser gun"'s beam.
  
  • Dodges robot energy beams, possibly more lasers, flying from multiple different directions.

Action Speed

• Swings fast enough to avoid gunfire.
  
• Goes from the on the floor to a kneeling punch in the time it takes a person to reach a few inches, then hits his partner with a punch before he can aim his gun.
  
• Lifts a table to block a volley of darts after at least the first was fired.
  
• Shoots a web to rebound a thrown glass bottle in the time it takes to reach him.
  
• Outdraws (an artificial recreation of) Jesse James.
  

Movement

• Dashes around at high speeds.
  
• Able to consistently outrun, outswing, outclimb, and dodge the pounces of a giant cat.
  
• Catches up to and leaps onto the back of an escaping car.
  
  • Catches up to an escaping car well after it reached speed.
  • Catches up to an escaping car that's explicitly going as fast as it can.
• Swings fast enough to catch up to Kingpin's escaping helicopter.
  
• Kicks a special flute out of a man's hands, then catches up to it with a web swing before it hits the ground.
  

Leaping

• Jumps several stories into the air on accident.
  
• Leaps to a rooftop several blocks away.
  
• Jumps to the top of a tall fort wall in a single bound.
  

Other

• Has the stamina to follow an escaping ship out of New York City and all the way to some mountainous desert region via swinging.

Durability
Blunt Force

• Completely no-sells a punch from a biker.
  
  • No-sells a punch from a con even while injured.
• Spun around at high speeds for half a minute and hurled against a stone pillar.
  
• Gets back up from a hit that launches him through a second story wooden railing.
  
• Crash lands through a boxcar's roof and gets back up after a second.
  
• Isn't bothered by a multi-story fall.
  
• Get crushed under a thrown car, crumpling the crane cockpit he was in, is seemingly knocked out but quickly recovers and moves just as fine after.
  
• Gets thrown into iron bars hard enough to bend them, is able an eventual recovery.
  
• Can take a full charge from the Rhino whose charges can heavily damage a train.
  
  • Takes a charge from the Rhino right after he sent a cop car flying and pierced a gas tanker.
• Gets hit by an explosion and falls at least twenty stories, the damage knocked him out and seemed to heavily injure him but he's still able to move around when conscious.
  

Energy

• Has a grenade thrown at him, and shortly after unburies himself from the rubble.
  
• Gets knocked back by an explosion that wrecks the room and quickly recovers.
  
• Able to recover from being hit by sonic blasts that are strong enough to crack a tree in half.
  
• Hardly seems fazed taking a point blank explosion from a bomb that the Vulture previously threatened to use to sink a naval battleship.
  
• Takes a zap from an electrified lance that knocked out two ordinary men and quickly recovers.
  
• Takes a bolt from Electro that simultaneously knocks iron bars out of the framing, and just after creates a large hole in the exterior wall of a prison.
  
• Is flash-frozen and comes away perfectly fine after thawing out by creatures from Pluto attempting to recreate their natural habitat.
  
  • Gets frozen at absolute zero and is able to be recovered near 24 hours later.
• Gets pinned by a bolt that is threatened, numerous times, to carry him all the way to the moon, and does carry him across most of New York and is eventually able to escape.
  

Webbing
General

• Unlike other variations of the character, this version doesn't need to press his fingers to his palm to fire webs.
  
• In addition to his normal sticky and pliable webbing, he consistently shows the ability to fire "tempered webbing" which keeps its shape and is referred to as "stronger than steel".
  
• Isn't damaged by burning hot coals.
  

Offensive
Restraint Strength

• Sticks up a manhole cover to make it immovable by a normal human.
  
• Holds and lifts a struggling man in full plate armor.
  
• Disarms and restrains the executioner of Paris, who was strong enough to swing his axe hard enough to destroy a brick chimney.
  
• Sticks a briefcase to a rock to the point where Sandman couldn't budge it, just after Sandman pitched a diamond through a web net and wrecked a bulldozer.
  

Tempered Webbing Strength

• Briefly holds back a descending elevator.
  
• Acts as replacement train tracks across a complete hole in the bridge, holding up the train all on their own.
  

Impact

• Knocks the guns out of two policemen's hands.
  
• Uses a web to fire a box of pepper.
  
• Causes a control panel to explode with two hits.
  
• A ball of webbing knocks a man across the room.
  
• Knocks the Vulture across the room and webs him up in the process.
  
• Stops the Rhino's charge and forces him back. Previously, the Rhino wasn't stopped by rifle fire and a stationary armored truck.
  

Defensive
Elasticity Strength

• Pulls Spider-Man, carrying a child, out of quicksand, that was pulling hard enough to bend a thick tree.
  
• Catches and holds a falling billboard sign.
  
• Trips the twenty foot tall Scorpion.
  
• Lets a car down gently for several stories.
  
• Plugs a cannon that causes it to backfire and explode when fired.
  
• Makes a slingshot that rebounds a wrecking ball hard enough to demolish the crane it was hanging from.
  
• Rebounds a small boulder being throw with enough force to chip at concrete.
  
• Stops and rebounds a speeding motorcycle.
  
• Stops a speeding car.
  
• Stops an armored car.
  
• Uses a single coiled string of web to catch the Rockefeller Center's bronze statue of Prometheus which weighs 8 tons.
  
• When using his webs to trap a hole that the Rhino plans to charge through, the brick building around the hole gives up before his webs do.
  
• Able to stop the flying momentum of a giant war bird made of solid gold before snapping.
  

Shields

• Coats his fists in webbing to protect from shattering glass.
  
• A shield of webbing is completely bulletproof.
  
  • Blocks a volley of arrows.
• Slows and stops magically fired cannonballs.
  
• Blocks falling rocks from hitting him.
  
• Protects him from micro-missiles.
  
• Stops a dozen cars being thrown at him with a dome.
  

Spread

• Walls off half of a store with a single spray.
  
• Walls off the mouth of a cavern.
  
• Creates a band that covers the entire width of a street.
  
• Spreads a web across and over the Golden Gate Bridge.
  
• Spins a web between two skyscrapers to stop an escaping ship.
  
• Snags the tip of the Empire State Building from halfway across town and uses that to swing from midtown to the docks.
  
• Snags onto Skymaster's dirigible from around building height.
  
• Creates a web that covers an entire submarine.
  

Utility

• Able to easily maneuver through the New York skyline by swinging on strands of webbing.
  
  • Does much the same in dense forested areas.
• Uses his webbing to make a handheld slingshot and a trampoline.
  
  • Uses webbing between two buildings to save himself from a lethal fall.
• Creates a parachute with a blanket of webbing.
  
  • Does the same that supports the weight of himself and a football quarterback.
• Creates a pliable sail and a stiff rudder for a sabotaged ship in a storm.
  
• Hides inside a watertight ball of webbing to save himself from drowning.
  
• Shoots the webbing fluid into a keyhole, when the webbing expands it allows it to be unlocked.
  
• Reconnects a split wire, allowing electrical current.
  
  • Connects his web to the third rail of a tram to electrify an enemy caught in it.
• Helps mask the sound of shattering glass.
  

Weird Usages

• Has enough control over his webs while shooting them to tie knots in his lines without touching them with his hands.
  
  • Creates a lasso that flies across the room, grabs the gun out of an assailant's hands, and pulls it away.
  • Flies up, loops around an overhead wire, comes back down, then ties itself off on an object he needs to lift.
  • Snaps the head off a spear as its flying.
  • Guides a football into the running arms of a man who claimed that "even if the football does lucky land in [his] arms [he doesn't] think [he] could catch it".
  • Grabs a vase out of a man's hands and gently puts it back down, from a distance.
• Straps webs to his feet and spins a web incredibly fast behind him to skim across the surface of a swamp river.
  
  • Does this to pull against the thrust of a rocket.
• Wraps up a note with one string of web, then fires it off with another, in one squeeze.
  
• Creates four small net bags of webbing, two from each shooter.
  
• Spins his webbing like a drill to pull himself up out of hard wax and to the ceiling.
  
• Webs himself into a ball and rolls fast enough to bowl through several police officers, and near immediately after escapes from the webbing.
  
• Creates a serrated blade to free himself from bindings.
  
  • Creates a small sawblade to tear out of plastic wrappings.
• Creates a functioning airboat that functions as well as the real thing.
  

Spider Powers

• Able to cling to surfaces in order to easily maneuver New York's skyline.
  
  • Even otherwise slippery surfaces like smooth ice.
  • Even in the pouring rain.
  • Climbs up the side of a ship out of the ocean.
  • He fails to cling when his fingers are too covered in crude oil.
• Has a Spider-Sense, but it doesn't often come in too helpful.
  
  • Here's an instance of it working.
  • Effectively allows him to avoid an arrow he didn't see coming.
  • Uses his spider-sense to nail down someone hiding behind a false wall.
  • Uses his spider-sense to guide a crashing plane over land in the middle of a storm.
• Has some kind of spider hearing that allows him to make out a garbled message a scientest could not.
  
• Was able to resist a hypnotic ray that incapacitated to police officers thanks to "spider vision".
  

Intelligence

• Quickly susses out the true identity of the Lizard, looks over the remnants of Dr. Connor's work to confirm it, then creates an antidote to his lizard serum.
  
  • Shown here working.
• Able to create an EMF tracker and alter his webbing to be resistant to electricity using the power of asbestos.
  
  • Creates a webbing formula that is able to reflect and absorb stone-breaking amounts of electricity.
• Creates a formula he calls IBP which stands for Instant Banana Peel (functionally an oil slick coating).
  
• Creates a breathing mask and new webbing fluid to fight Doctor von Schlick. The mask allows him to breath and see while swimming through crude oil, and the webbing could stick to von Schlick even when his standard webbing couldn't.
  
• Develops anti-magnetic webbing to counteract Dr. Magneto's magnetizing ray despite Magneto's ray being able to magnetize any physical substance.
  
• Creates a "automatic bloodhound gadget" that is able to track a scrap of cloth back to its source.
  
• Reverse engineers a tracking device to lead him to the tracker.
  

Gadgets & Gear

• Tosses a spider tracker onto Electro without his immediate noticing, allowing him to track him across the city.
  
• Has a pocket heat ray that instantly bakes mud.
  
• Has a wrist-mounted flashlight to see through thick fog.
  
  • Has a flashlight on his belt that's able to help a ship come to shore during a stormy night when the lighthouse goes out.
• His standard spider suit isn't affected by a chemical agent that dissolves the gas mask he was wearing over it.
  

Other

• Isn't bothered by tear gas.
  
• Hears a weak call from help from a great distance away.
  
• Throws a pair of large gemstones into the mouth of a monster plant some distance away.
  
• Hides inside of a suitcase, then when discovered, escapes through a vent the size of a suitcase behind him without any of the soldiers watching him noticing.
  
• Is the only one in a large, crowded theater to even partially resist a combination of hypnotic gas and imagery.
  
• Able to resist the will-sapping effect of the Radiation Specialist's mind control radiation.
  
• Skilled at marble carving.
  
• Quickly picked up ventriloquism.
  
• Often benefits from bad animation.
  

Welcome to my giant pile of stuff! I'm paranoid that it might seem sketchy to be selling SO much new/like new skincare and feel the need to assure y'all that this has all been purchased legitimately. My totally-not-maladaptive coping strategy when life is rough is to impulse buy and then forget to send back what I bought, and below is the fallout from a particularly rough patch. I say this NOT to garner sympathy (things are getting much better!) but to explain the exorbitance.
All products come from a clean, smoke-free home. Payment through Paypal (whichever method you're comfortable with), and shipment from North Carolina, USA starts at $6 and will increase with the size/weight of your package and distance from me. Domestic shipping typically costs between $6 and $12 depending on the aforementioned factors, but it can run higher for heavy stuff shipped across the country. With that in mind, I do make sure to price stuff low enough to offset that- I want to make sure that the net cost+shipping is quite a bit cheaper than you'd pay at a store. I'm also always open to offers and bundle discounts.
Non-US buyers: shipping $ on a case-by-case basis, so we can work that out should you want to order.
I added a basket and two fake plants as a background in my pics this time because I'm fancy like that! As always, feel free to ask questions or request more pics if you want to see something in greater detail.
Verification 1
Back:

• Naturie Hatomugi Skin Conditioner, 16.9 fl oz/500 ml (exp date unknown), new. Retails $20/selling for $8. SOLD
• Illiyoon Ceramide Ato Soothing Gel, 175 ml (exp date 3/26), used about 5 times. Retails $20/selling for $7. SOLD

Front:

• Naturie Hatomugi Skin Conditioning Gel, 180 g (exp date unknown), new. Retails $11/selling for $5. SOLD
• 2x Curel Intensive Moisture Care Facial Cream (Japanese version), 1.4 oz/40 g (exp date unknown, but purchased about 2 months ago). Both new in box and the boxes are still wrapped in plastic; the open tub on top is for reference. Retail is $20 per, selling for $11 each or both for $20. SOLD

Verification 2
Back:

• Purito Oat-in-Calming Gel Cream, 100 ml (exp date is sometime in 2026; the month is obscured by packaging and unreadable), used twice. Retails $15, selling for $5. SOLD
• Round Lab Birch Juice toner, 10.1 fl oz (exp date 5/24), used about 5 times. Retails $20, selling for $8.
• Etude Soon Jung 10-Free Moist Emulsion (exp date unknown), 130 ml, BNIB. Retails $15, selling for $6. SOLD

Front:

• Expired beplain Cicaful Ampoule, dammit iHerb
• 5x Tatcha the Water Cream, 0.34 oz/10 mL (exp date unknown), new. Retails $22, selling for $9 per.
  • Five minis ($45 total) = one full size ($70) = only 2/3 of the price.
  • No, I don't know why I have five of these, either.
• Benton Tea Tree serum, 30 ml/1.01 fl oz (exp date 10/24), new in box. Retails $19, selling for $5. SOLD

Verification 3

• Round Lab Dokdo ampoule, 45g (exp date 8/25), new in box. Retails $30, selling for $12. SOLD
• Axis-Y Artichoke Intensive Skin Barrier Ampoule, 30 ml (exp 4/25), about 2/3 left. Retails $20, selling for $5. SOLD
• Isntree TW-Real Bifida Ampoule, 1.69 fl oz/50 ml (exp 12/24), new in box. Retails $20, selling for $8.
• Isntree Aloe Soothing Gel Moisture Type, 150 ml (exp 9/24), used twice. Retails $12, selling for $4. SOLD

Verification 4: Skin1004 Madagascar Centella travel kit (and outside of the set). Retails $30, selling for $12.
All products are brand new:

• Madagascar Centella Cleansing Oil, 30ml, exp date 12/23.
• Madagascar Centella Toning Toner, 30ml, exp date 1/24.
• Madagascar Centella Ampoule Foam, 20ml, exp date 12/23.
• Madagascar Centella Soothing Cream, 30ml, exp date 1/24.
• Madagascar Centella Ampoule, 30ml, exp date 6/27/23. !! PLEASE NOTE THE EXPIRATION DATE !!

Verification 5: Axis-Y Mini Glow Set (and another pic), SOLD all products new, selling for $4. I don't think I can free them from their cardboard shackles without ruining the packaging, so I left them there in the pics. I can't find the expiry date, but it was purchased about a month ago. Stolen from a website description:

• Quini: a mini of their bestselling Quinoa Cleanser 8ml.
• Puri: the popular Purifying Toner in mini form 5ml.
• Arti: the Artichoke Ampoule 5ml.
• Glowi: the incredible Dark Spot Correcting Glow Serum 5ml.

Verification 6

• beplain Cicaful Calming Gel, 80 ml (exp 5/25), brand new in box. Retails $15, selling for $7.
• Peach and Lily Glass Skin Refining Serum, 1.35 fl oz (can't find an expiry date, but I bought this at Ulta about 2.5 months ago), used about 5x. Retails $39, selling for $12. SOLD
• Innisfree Ato Soothing Gel, 150 ml (exp 3/26), brand new in box. Retails $25, selling for $12. SOLD
• Erborian Bamboo Glow Dewy Effect Cream (another shot), 0.9 fl oz/30 mL (exp date unknown), new in box. Retails $28, selling for $10.

Verification 7 La Roche-Posay ALL SOLD
NGL, I thought y'all would snap this ish up when I first posted it, since a lot of it isn't available in the US... trying again with lower prices:

• La Roche-Posay Cicaplast B5 Serum (exp. Dec 2024), 30 ml, new in box. Retail value $45/selling for $19. SOLD
• La Roche-Posay Cicaplast Gel B5 (exp. Feb 2026), 40 ml, used once. Retail value $20/selling for $9. SOLD
• La Roche-Posay Toleriane Ultra Dermallergo serum (exp November 2024), 20 ml, used twice. Retail value $35/selling for $9. SOLD
• La Roche-Posay Toleriane Dermallergo Fluide (exp 1/2026), 40 ml, BNIB. Retails $30, selling for $11. SOLD
• Or $45 for all four items.

Verification 8 Sorry for the terrible, sideways photo. Had to retake this am because I shifted things around.
Kiehl's minis. See individual prices or take all five for $20.

• 2x Kiehl's Calendula Deep Cleansing Foaming Face Wash, 1.0 fl oz/30 mL (exp date unknown), new. $4.50.
• 2x Kiehl's Calendula Herbal Extract Alcohol-Free Toner, 1.4 fl oz/40 mL (exp date unknown), new. $4.50
• Kiehl's Calendula Serum-Infused Water Cream, 0.25 fl oz/7 mL (exp date unknown), new. $4.

Tatcha SOLD

• The Deep Cleanse exfoliating cleanser, 0.68 fl oz/20 ml (exp date unknown), new. $5.
• The Essence Skincare Boosting Treatment, 75 ml/2.5 fl oz (exp date unknown). I cannot for the life of me get a picture that shows how much is left because the line is right where the gradient shifts- it's right above the white circle in the center of the symbol over the words "Tatcha". I'd say around 2/3 full-ish? Selling for $12.

Dermalogica- super mini set of Ultra Calming Mist (0.14 fl oz) + Cleanser (0.24 fl oz) + Serum (0.14 fl oz), all new. $5 for all three.
Verification 9
I just realized there's some sort of weird-ass selfie vibe in the L'Oreal cap... just go with it.

• Hero Cosmetics Pore Release toner, 3.38 fl oz (not expiry date that I can see), used about 5 times. Retails $20, selling for $5.
• L'Oreal Revitalift 5% glycolic toner, 6 fl oz (can't find expiry date), new. Retails $15, selling for $5.
• Pixi Glow Tonic, 100 ml/3.4 fl oz (exp date unknown), brand new in packaging. Retails $15, selling for $5.
• Bliss Clear Genius 10% AHA + BHA + PHA Clarifying Liquid Peel, 1.0 fl oz/30mL (exp date unknown), used twice. Retails $22, selling for $4. SOLD
• Geek & Gorgeous Cheer Up 6% Mandelic + BHA Liquid, 1.0 fl oz/30mL (exp 1/25), about 60% left? Retails $12, selling for $2. SOLD
• Bliss 11.8% AHABHAPHA Liquid Exfoliant, 2.0 fl oz/60 mL (exp date unknown), used maybe 7x? Retails $22, selling for $4. SOLD

Verification 10: Part one of the "oh god just make it go away" bundle. Terrible lighting, I know; my nonexistent dreams of a career in photography just withered away and died.
Here's how this works:

1. You give me $25 (for everything pictured in these three sets of photos + shipping + any other things I find as I sift through my piles of stuff)
2. I pack everything up in a medium or large flat rate box, depending on quantity of stuffs you want. If you're into haircare and/or don't mind 20-50% full stuff, let me know and I'll add lots of other stuff!
3. Profit?

If you want to buy additional stuff along with this bundle, it'll be $25 as well and will also count as your shipping cost.
EDIT: people are requesting individual items, so I'm going to break these up. I haven't priced out items, but aside from the face washes, I'll just include the rest as freebies. Feel free to request anything of interest and I'll include it if it's available!
Quick and dirty roundup of this first part- not going to list full specs, but feel free to ask and I'll happily give info! And aside from the beplain ampoule, nothing is even close to its expiration date.

• Aveeno face cream, never used.
• Aveeno face wash, used twice.
• Acure ultra hydrating face wash, used 5x.
• Innisfree green tea face wash, never used.
• Clean and Clear blackhead eraser scrub, used about 5x.
• Josie Maran Pro Retinol eye cream, never used (but the gold on the lid is a bit scuffed).
• Mini Round Lab Dokdo toner, used 3x.
• Mini Vichy Aqualia Thermal cream, never used.

Part 2 of the "oh god just make it go away" bundle; everything unused save the Aveeno face wash and the beplain ampoule (the lighting is also bad and I have something backwards, but to retake I need to go upstairs and I just cannot seem to move from the couch):

• e.l.f. Mineral Infused primer
• Aveeno Calm and Restore face wash
• beplain Cicaful ampoule, about 2/3 full. EXPIRATION DATE IS 5/23
• Biossance Squalane + Amino Aloe Gentle Cleanser
• Kinship Supermelt Vegan Lip Jelly Mask and Kinship Bright Wave Eye Cream
• BFF Clarifying Toner (turned backwards in the pic, oops)
• Byroe Bitter Green Essence Toner
• Bliss Drench & Quench Cream-To-Water Hydrator
• Dr. Jart Cicapair Tiger Grass Color Correcting Treatment

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel
"Oh god just make it go away" bundle part 3. Just a buncha samples :)
THANKS FOR BUYING MY STUFF and helping me clear out my Pile of Shame!

Eyes
Wander Beauty Getaway palette -- used 1x, $4
Floss Beauty Just Peachy quad -- used 1x, $4
Tarte Center of Attention Lashes, $6
Grande Lash Serum mini -- BNIB, $8
RapidGlam Mascserum mini -- BNIB, $8
Face
Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter in 1 Fair -- lightly used, $24 SOLD
Clinique Beyond Perfecting Powder Foundation + Concealer in 0.5 breeze -- used a few times, no dent, $10
L'Oreal Infallible Foundation In A Powder in 120 Vanilla -- used a few times, no dent, $3
Clarins Joli blush mini in cheeky pink -- used 3x, $3
NARS Orgasm X blush mini -- swatched 1x, $4
NARS Orgasm blush mini -- brand new, $5
Laura Mercier translucent loose setting powder in Glow mini -- swatched 1x, $3 SOLD
NYX Sweet Cheeks soft cheek tint in coralicious -- used 2x, $2
Ulta mattifying face primer -- Brand new (sealed), $3
Lips
NYX Shine Loud lip color in Born To Hustle -- brand new, $3
NYX This Is Juice Gloss in coconut chill -- brand new, $3
Mented #1 Cran lip gloss -- brand new, $2
Brushes/Tools -- All unused or used a few times and cleaned
Sigma F40 Large Angled Contour brush $6
Crown foundation (?) brush $3
Skincare
Good Molecules Gentle Retinol Cream -- BNIB, $5
Exuviance Age Reverse Day Repair SPF 30 -- BN, $10
Sunday Riley CEO Glow face oil minis, BNIB, $10
Serovital hgh supplement (1 week supply, exp 08/2024) $5 Sealed
Acure bakuchiol serum minis (0.33oz x2) $7
Strivectin SD Advanced concentrate minis (0.35oz x3) $12
Strivectin TL Advanced Neck Cream mini (.25 oz) BN $4
Strivectin Peptide Plump mini, BN $4
Kiehl's Retinol Serum minis (.14oz x2) BN $4
Murad Invisiscar treatment minis (0.17oz x2) BN $8
Pixi Vitamin-C Tonic mini, BN $3
Loving Tan Deluxe Gradual Tan in Dark -- BN, $2
Bondi Sands Self Tanning Foam in Dark -- BN, $2
Fragrance (all BNIB)
Viktor & Rolf Good Fortune EDP mini, $7 SOLD
YSL Black Opium EDP mini, $7 SOLD
Giorgio Armani My Way EDP mini, $7 SOLD
Lancome Idole Le Parfum mini, $7 SOLD
Miss Dior Rose N' Roses EDT mini, $7 SOLD
Versace Dylan Turquoise EDT mini, $7 SOLD
Eilish #2 EDP mini rollerball, $7 SOLD
Take all of the fragrances for $40 shipped!
Everything is already priced as low as possible.
$20 minimum
Shipping & shipping materials have gotten expensive! Please be mindful of this and expect to add a few bucks to help me cover this expense.

Long post (~2,500 words) incoming - this is an essay from my journal about narrative arcs, collective versus individual meaning, passing, money, and surgery.
CW: a lot of things, but in particular: beauty, passing and money
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At risk of spoiling a 2,000 year old Greek tragedy, Euripides' Medea tells the story of a woman who, in order to spite her unfaithful husband, kills her two young children as well as her husband’s royal bride. When confronted by her husband, she is rescued by her grandfather the sun god Helios, who provides her with a divine, dragon-drawn chariot which she uses to escape to Athens. The final scene of the tragedy involves Medea escaping into the sunset after this divine intervention, with the audience left to ponder the nature of evil and the motivations of the gods.
While the play itself introduces some interesting and novel themes - it includes one of the first and most well known portrayals of filicide, the murder of one’s children, for example - the ending never quite sat right with me. As a storytelling device, the introduction of a literal god as a plot twist is, well, kind of a cop out. It couldn’t be predicted, it involves a being far more powerful than any of the human characters, and… well, it’s kind of like getting to the end of a movie and then the main character wakes up and it was all just a bad dream. It’s not a satisfying conclusion!
This mechanic has since become known as “Deus ex Machina” - “God from the machine” - and it’s a common refrain used to criticize an unsatisfying plot twist in modern media. To use a Deus ex Machina is to take an impossible situation and turn it around with such overwhelming force that the threat of the original challenge fades away entirely. A satisfying ending usually demonstrates success against overwhelming odds, tenacity, and character development. A Deus ex Machina shows none of these.
Of course, while Deus ex Machinas tend to make for unsatisfying stories, most people would be pretty happy to win a multimillion dollar lottery, even if it means that the satisfaction of finally saving up for a yearly holiday or of getting a surprisingly nice tax return would probably not be worth much anymore; even if any conceivable career success they could experience in their life would probably never even amount to a tenth of the money they just acquired on luck alone. To most people, there are parts of life where the story is less important than the practicality, and so this is still a good deal. Money is one such example, and it’s why there are more lawyers than poets. But this story doesn’t really sell either, which is why rich people of all stripes love to view themselves as hardworking, courageous, persistent, and the type of person who could do it all again if they had to.
People like to tell a similar story about beauty. The allure of the makeover is this: you take someone who just doesn’t know how to dress or present themselves, but has potential. You teach them the basics of fashion, makeup and skincare, you get them onto a workout routine, and then you cultivate a mindset of inner beauty that will shine through. Lo and behold, they are beautiful! And more importantly, you as the viewer can be beautiful too, you just need to bring out the beauty that was lurking inside all along.
The existence of plastic surgery marrs this narrative. More accurately, the fact that it works marrs this narrative. It’s almost horrifying the way in which someone can be treated awfully, get surgery to fix one or two features, and then be perceived like a completely different person, almost like they have become more worthy of love. A makeover in the usual sense wouldn’t fix this. There is only so much that contouring or well shaped clothes can do to improve a person’s attractiveness or make them look like a model - not to mention that the constant attention that is required to keep this up kind of gets exhausting.
Whether we want to or not, there is a certain extent to which we blame people for their own looks, as if they chose them. When it comes to choice in fashion or piercings, this might be valid - after all, if you’re getting judged for having an alternative aesthetic and you’d like to stop that perception, you can just change your aesthetic. But I can’t help but notice that when I see someone with a large nose, or crooked teeth, or fat in the wrong places, or a receding hairline, then I categorize them differently to how I would if they didn’t have these flaws. I think of them as a different person, even though rationally I know I shouldn’t.
Of course, this extends to gender perception as well, and it’s the reason that even the most well-meaning genuine allies can still slip up on pronouns from time to time, or struggle to see non-passing trans women as truly women, or treat non binary people closer to one binary gender than the other if they’re not presenting completely androgynous. There’s work to be done as a collective, sure - and that work is extremely important - but as individual trans people, changing the perception of every single person we meet is a laughably gargantuan task, and it’s often easier to just adhere to the beauty standards that are set for us. This is basically what “passing” amounts to: adhering to some existing standard of cisgender beauty. We can resist this all we like, and I have nothing but respect for those who do, but in the short run this seems to amount to something like the struggling poet archetype resisting capitalism: as unsatisfying and non-storylike and damn depressing as it sounds, they’d probably have a far more enjoyable subjective experience of life if they took their writing skills to somewhere that would pay them for it instead.
Unfortunately, simply choosing to adhere to beauty standards is so much easier said than done. My view of gender perception is that it comes in three layers: things presentation affects, things hormones affect, and things that neither of them affect.
Up until a few weeks ago I had a septum piercing. I got it because I thought it looked cool, I wanted to try having one, I liked embodying an alt aesthetic from time to time, and frankly, I felt like it drew attention away from the parts of my nose I didn’t like, by being the center of attention for anyone looking in the vicinity of that area. Removing it was not a conclusive decision, but I’d grown to miss how I looked without it, it was a bit uncomfortable sometimes, and it made me sneeze a lot. So I took it out, and that was that. If I wanted to put it back in at any point, it would involve a trip to the piercing parlour a couple of suburbs over, and maybe $40 or so. Not really a big deal.
Piercings, clothes, shoes, makeup, skincare and hair care all come under the category of “things you can affect pretty quickly”. And they can indeed make a big difference. But they are also surface level - a large, muscular man wearing feminine attire is more likely to be read as a gay man, a crossdresser, or a drag queen than as a woman. A petite girl wearing masculine clothing might be read as a tomboy, butch, or simply wearing her boyfriend’s hoodie. Getting genuinely good at makeup helps too, but that’s starting to push outside the category of “things you can do straight away”.
Luckily there is another level of perception that can be affected - things that take some time, but can be done. Hair length, if going in the direction of making it longer, comes into this category. Just about anything that hormones can change comes into this category. Voice training might be one of the most powerful things in this category. Permanent and semi-permanent hair removal fit here as well.
Once these top two layers are accounted for, over enough time, the lines between “cis woman” and “trans woman” or between “cis man” and “trans man” begin to blur substantially. The bell curves start to intersect, at first only in the extremes but then over time they move closer and closer together.
Yet, the averages don’t really touch, and the missing explanation comes under the umbrella category of “things that hormones don’t affect”.
What goes here? Height, to a large extent, is one of these things - losing an inch or two on HRT isn’t unheard of but nobody over six foot is suddenly going to become five and a half feet tall. In my personal experience, the height loss if any comes down to a rounding error - I’ve gone from a bit over six foot two to a bit under.
One of the most important things for passing that hormones don’t affect is facial bones. Luckily and perhaps surprisingly, in many cases you can take a slightly masculine facial structure and overlay it with feminine fat distribution and a bit of makeup, and you would probably be pleasantly surprised at how it changes over the course of a couple of years. For someone in this boat, the majority of the population would probably not be any the wiser if the rest of this person’s presentation checked out. But of course, there are many heavily gendered facial features and the chance that a trans woman has at least one of them outside the range of what is considered normal for cis women is fairly likely. Couple this with the likelihood that she is probably taller and larger in proportions than average, likely has a deeper voice, and might have smaller breasts than the average cis woman - and you can see how the intersection of these features can cause genuine psychological distress in the inability to be gendered correctly without significant personal effort.
There is one way to bypass this hierarchy of immutability, however. Surgery is a panacea that can augment breast growth, fix facial bone structure, and even in some (highly experimental, strongly not recommended) cases reduce height. Surgery can cut right through the top layer of how well you do your makeup, down past the middle layer of how hormones changed your face shape, and modify the very bone that frames everything it sits behind.
When it comes to Facial Feminization Surgery or FFS, beneath all the talk of orbital shaping and chin reductions, tracheal shaves and lip lifts, there is an unstated promise: if you pay us, nobody will know you weren’t born like this. Personal opinions vary, and it’s hard to get a genuinely objective view of where your facial bone structure sits along this bell curve, but I’ve got the CT scans as evidence for my case and the verdict is that my chin, jaw, forehead, nose, and Adam’s apple could all be more feminine than they are. Hormones will not do anything about these. The allure is real, to the point where putting my life savings on the line to undergo FFS was almost an easy decision. As the surgery date draws closer, my anxiety rises, but I have never once doubted that this is what I need.
Even worse is the fact that part of the allure of FFS is its rarity: facial features are a good way to clock trans women purely for the fact that so few of them can afford to have them changed. I cannot think about this without experiencing immense guilt. If FFS was commonplace, then the subset of clocking with more hostile origins would probably shift even more strongly to other aspects like voice, height and shoe size, the last two of which would out me straight away.
Why do I feel so guilty about this? If I were cis, these features would be given by birthright and I would not be sitting here psychoanalysing myself into a panic thinking about them. Would it be wrong to just say I need this, refuse to elaborate any more, and call it a day?
The surgeons I have spoken to have all been lovely, but there’s no denying that there is a tendency for surgeons to develop god complexes - some patients even joke that it’s a prerequisite for the role. In a way, it almost feels justified - the right surgery at the right time can completely change the course of someone’s life, whether it’s a heart transplant or a forehead reconstruction. How is that any different to the many other things that people tend to ascribe to gods - diagnosis and remission of diseases, life-changing job offers, graduations, weddings, the birth of children?
I’ve already thought about what I’m going to say to people when they ask how I feel after I’ve had FFS: that it feels like waking up from a bad dream. The fact that I have premeditated this response indicates that I feel like I am in a bad dream now, and that FFS will be the god from the machine that wakes me. This has all the hallmarks of all the worst story endings I have ever read, and yet I still want it, and that makes me think that my life is not quite the story I wish it was.
I don’t know what the satisfying alternative ending would be in this case - do I just accept my fate as being somewhat clockable, and make peace with that, forever? Do I become an icon for trans liberation, standing proud and tall in the face of discrimination and being unwaveringly me even if others don’t see it? Do I develop a slavish devotion to the witchcraft of makeup to the point where surgery is an obsolete afterthought? Even that narrative doesn’t feel satisfying: there is no rebellion, no character arc, no defiance - just ongoing effort into being perceived as me until the day I die.
Whenever I see someone being unashamedly themselves, brow bone and all, I feel nothing but pride for my people. Yet when I put in the effort, when I’m having a good day, I am seen as I am and I know in my heart that I would be overjoyed if this were my life. As I write this, I am sitting in a cafe, no makeup, jeans and a hoodie, and the waiter just tried to bring me an order for “Daniel” - yet I know this would never happen if I put on foundation and mascara before leaving the house, blow dried my hair properly, and wore something form fitting.
I don’t feel wholly cheated of the promise that, as a young twenty-something, after around a year and a quarter on hormones, with chin-length hair and a pretty decent voice, I should be able to pass the majority of the time - I do. But there will always be bad days, and those are the days where I need the assurance the most. Maybe FFS is just ensuring that on those bad days, I can still feel like myself? Maybe it’s just front loading the effort that goes into passing in a single, painful, multi-hour sculpting for the price of a house deposit, rather than dispersed over years and years of makeup application? How can I justify it in a way that feels morally absolvable to me, that doesn’t ignore the fact that there are others who need this just as much as I do but will never receive it?
It’s become painfully clear to me that there are no right answers, but I’m not sure I like the answer that after waxing all this poetic, I’m taking the path of the lawyer after all.

7 June Update: Some extra events for now, new list likely later on thurs

25/05 Thu

• Phum Viphurit (bedroom pop), capitol theatre city hall, $88
• The Trilldon: JUSTHIS & MIRANI (KR hiphop), club drip orchard , $128
• Jazz Loft: Andoyama & The Girl'Z and the Boy'z choir - farewell gig (jazz-choral), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $22
• Chill Sessions Jam: Audible Quirk - Mantravine's EP release performance, kult kafe - the grandstand 200 turf club road (sixth avenue), free reg
• Esplanade: Kpop Nostalgia by Curie, Mervyn & Aniq, free
• Esplanade: Nuri Terbang Malam - Malay Music in Singapore through Time - by Syed Ahmad, Jeremiah Choy and Orkes Nuri - 1st, recital studio, $23

SIFA

• Dance: BLKDOG by Botis Seva (UK) - 1st Day, SOTA Drama Theatre, $38
• Interactive Theatre: £¥€$ (LIES) by Ontroerend Goed (BE) - TILL 28 May SUN, SOTA, $58
   
  
• Drag MOISTNESS - a cabaret, projector golden mile tower, $28
  
• DJ, Combined Local Uni Party: Semester Shutdown (big room edm, moombahton, hiphop), yang club clarke quay, $20 soldout
  
• DJ, Amy's Wine Bar: Daniel K (downtempo, minimal tech, house), 17d lor liput (holland village)
  
• DJ, Vertigo 26: Shakolin (UKR), at mint museum city hall, listening bar
  
• DJ, Offtrack: St Vincent and the Grenadines (ph), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
  
• DJ, Prism: Gucci Nights (hiphop reggaeton afrobeats latin), club prism marina square, free
  
• DJ, CE LA VI: DJ Ayane (FRA R&B), Marina Bay Sands tower 3, $30
  

26/05 Fri

• BERANI; DEMI MASA (malay percussion, dance), drama center theatre (bugis), $15
• SCO: Chinese Orch. Goes to Vivocity cond. Moses Gay - Day 1, harbourfront, $5
• Jazz Loft: CONTINUO by Pablo Calzado (world music jazz w Arabic twist), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $24
• Simply Jazz: Fusion Jazz (ft eric lee & masashi sasaki, nakamura, marinello, raf m), chijmes b1, jazz bar
• Maduro Jazz: Le French Jazz Trio du Japon - Day 1, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
• Live Jazz Music at Frenchie Wine Bar: Shed Trio, 81 tras st (tanjong pagar)
• Esplanade: Meermu Live (comedy-rap), free
• Esplanade: Nuri Terbang Malam - Malay Music in Singapore through Time - by Syed Ahmad, Jeremiah Choy and Orkes Nuri - last, recital studio, $23
• Theatre Esplanade: Chimpanzee by Nick Lehane - TILL 28 May Sun, theatre studio, $30
• Chinese Play: Catfished - till Sunday 28 May, gateway theatre bukit merah, $40

SIFA

• Dance: BLKDOG by Botis Seva (UK) - workshop, SOTA Drama Theatre, $38
• Object Theatre: Cuckoo by Jaha Koo (KR) - 1st, drama centre black box, $38
• SIFA X & Ce La Vi : LOVE DIVINE - STILL LIVES (Nathan Hartono x Grace Kee Performance Art) & CHILDREN OF VENUS Burlesque by SUKKI, Marina Bay Sands Tower 3, $58
   
  
• DJ, UNFILTERED presents Flashback Friday (Taylor Swift Tribute Version) + 00s pop, hard rock cafe orchard, $28 soldout
  
• DJ, FUEGO NIGHT: Blackout (reggaeton, dancehalll, afrobeats), luxe club marina square, left $37
  
• DJ, BLASE x Blu Jaz: hiphop rnb dancehall reggaeton, blu jaz bali ln, $15
  
• DJ, Gay Event: The Den ft meraki soul, shigeki (deep housey), 87 club street, free reg
  
• DJ, Dirty Blonde Burlesque Night, suntec city l3
  
• DJ, Cupid's Inferno Prom Night by Afterlife, club prism marina square, $40
  
• DJ, KPOP Party by The Arcade - O-Rak-Shil (오락실) ft dj linc, projector x picturehouse (cathay), $29
  
• DJ, DARKER THAN WAX x More Rice Label Night - Dott (THA), club iki (ikigai the riverwalk, clarke quay), $22
  
• DJ, Amy's Wine Bar: ARMS1 (open format, vinyl), 17d lor liput, natural wine bar
  
• DJ, Club Rich: DJ NICOLE CHEN birthday bash, 114 middle rd (bugis), asian club
  
• DJ, Majesty Chen: DJ Killyx & Lady Goth - Hardstyle (THA)), oxley tower 138 robinson rd CBD
  
• DJ, Yang Club: Back to The Old School (90s-00s party), clarke quay
  
• DJ, Spaceone SG: Last Day before Relocation Party, 100 jalan sultan plaza
  
• DJ, Potato Head: OneWithAldrin (disco-funk nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bistro-speakeasy
  
• DJ, Offtrack: Ulyssess of Mugic Soundsystem, beside hong lim park, gastro bar
  
• DJ, Marquee: Astrolab ft. DJ Nash D, Marina Bay Sands, $45
  
• DJ, CE LA VI: Leonard T, Jamie Hall (house, tech), MBS tower 3, $38
  
• DJ, Headquarters: Kavan, Leland, Muto (techno, house), hq 66A boat quay, $30
  
• DJ, Tuff Club: Amber H & Emma SS, 138 robinson rd cbd, $30
  
• DJ, Phuture: .WAV(Y) (hiphop rnb afro), zouk clarke quay, $20
  
• DJ, Anjunadeep x Thugshop: Dosem & Simon Doty (tech house, prog-house), MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $60
  

27/05 Sat

• BODYSYNC (giraffage x ryan hemsworth) ft Cayenne of Sobs, DJ Et aliae, EJ Missy, tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, $48
• ST12 - 20th anniversary reunion (IDN pop-rock), the star theatre buona vista, $58
• Saylah Sessions x Parka Showcase - Icebox, Regina Song, Jeyes (sorta indie pop), 180 Paya Lebar Rd (taiseng), $20
• The Cellar Sessions - Hijack Hayley, Shirly Temple, Blush Hotel, Han-sa ft Qhum (indie rock, bluesy, folky), 12 ann siang rd honcho, $45
• Punk Gig: Septictank (IDN), KKC(MY), idx, rejected scums, secret army, $30
• Hardcore metalcore Gig: Pandemic is Over ft. scream the silence, slugg, wrathbourn, death in october, makkau, true anger, dm, $15
• JASSO: Jazz it up! Celebration of Chinese Songs ft. Judy Ongg, Jeremy Monteiro, Lee Wei Song, Marcus Lee, SCCC auditorium, $48
• JAZZIN UP Our Tampines Hub - lorong boys, eric lee & m.i.c, muse-x, sws city swing big band, impression of nanyang arts, geylang ska syndicate, our tampines hub town square, free
• Jazz Loft: RIO RITMICA ft Maya Raisha (brazillian style jazz - bossa choro samba pagode), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $24
• Maduro Jazz: Le French Jazz Trio du Japon - Last, jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
• Trumpet Concerto: Tine Thing Helseth: A Norwegian Celebration - with RE:SOUND COLLECTIVE, NUS YST Concert Hall, $28
• Yevgeny Sudbin plays Rachmaninov 2 by OMM x Altenburg, esplanade concert hall, $18
• Singapore Symphony Chorus: Tre Voci, VCH, $20
• YST: Trombone Weekend Workshops, NUS yong siew toh conservatory, $27
• SCO: Goes to Vivocity cond. Moses Gay - Day 1, harbourfront, $5
• Esplanade: The Flipside of an Opera Singer by Kira Lim, free
• Esplanade: Multidisciplinary classical concert - Musical Movements by Farah Wu, Tan Tiag Yi, Leow Huey Li (bartok, shostakovich, igudesman, takemitsu), recital studio, $25
• Esplanade Exhibit Tour: The Rumbling In-between, free reg
• Musical Theatre: Monster in the Mirror - Last, gateway theater bukit merah, $20
• Singapore Indian Fine Arts Society (SIFAS) - Songs of Swadesh: NAVARASA ft Jyotika Joshi, RELC (orchard/stevens) 30 Orange Grove Rd, free reg but sold out
• Talk: Occult Philosophies at SAM - body horrobatik horror with DJ duckdeleuze & joaen, tanjong pagar distripark l3
• Muse Tribute Night by Minimum Wage Band, NAFA studio theatre bencoolen, free reg
• Blackbird: A Tribute To Pink Floyd - by welcome to the machine, blackbird at gillman barracks, bar

SIFA

• Dance Theatre: Me, You, Then, Now by Muna Tseng (US), victoria theatre, $38
• TalkAI & Art: : Seeing Double - Bridging Dualities with Relational Intelligence by Sougwen 愫君 Chung , zoom, $32
• Object Theatre: Cuckoo by Jaha Koo (KR) - last, drama centre black box, $38
• One-man Theatre: Lolling & Rolling by Jaha Koo (KR) - 1st, drama centre black box, $38
• SIFA X: there is no future in nostalgia multi-performances - 2nd last, centre 42 waterloo street (bras basah), $25 or various
   
  
• Drag: QABARET: Goes to the MOVIES!, projector x picturehouse (the cathay), $48
  
• Drag DJ, Baby Boy Diva Era: Come What May ft lipsync smackdown part 2, hard rock cafe orchard, $20
  
• Pool Party DJ, MANIFEST at 1-altitude coast (ft. tobias laut, kuma, raja rani, matsalleh - housey), the outpost hotel sentosa, $35
  
• Pool Party DJ, Party Social SG's Candyland ft. DJ Jagi & Nomi, Sofitel Singapore City Centre Poolside (tanjong pagar), $20
  
• DJ, The Last Escape - SG's 'largest' Pop up Festival (ft. wasted, chambers, entity, flow, prism DJs), scape orchard (somerset), $30
  
• DJ, TOSKA & Friends Boilerroom 360, club iki (ikigai the riverwalk, clarke quay), $8
  
• DJ. CULTURE: Jiak Kim 2.0 (late 00s-10s edm), luxe club marina square, $31
  
• DJ, The Tuckshop Assembly Silent Disco ft DJ Leonard T (90s-00s hits), 403 Guillemard Rd, bistro-bar
  
• DJ, LGBT Kink Nite: DoMeKinky! - Hidden Empire (GER melodic techno & house), MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $90
  
• DJ, Habouji Reggaeton Vol II, unknown, $30
  
• DJ, LAST SATURDAYS x Club Sando: Catharsis through the back door (underground electronica), baroque house 29 rowell rd (farrer park), $25
  
• DJ, Catfish Izakaya - The Red Room ft. Pillow Talk (r&b hiphop), 5 Gemmill Ln (telok ayer)
  
• DJ, Parliament Bar: Ultimate Old School Hiphop Nite 80s-90s, 18 teck lim rd
  
• DJ, Afrogroove SG: Afro Club Night ft. DJ Jag & Dabishop, blu jaz cafe bali ln, $15
  
• DJ, Afroclub Sunrise ft dj witjak, shan, waii , LOMIV, the parlour 140 owen road (farrer park), $20
  
• DJ, CHOICE CUTS PIZZA & RECORDS: Just Zé (samba, disco-funk, jamaican, jazz), 446 joo chiat rd, free
  
• DJ, Stickies Bar's Bieber Fever ft DJ Clover, 178 clemenceau ave (dhoby ghaut)
  
• DJ, Amy's Wine Bar: KHALLY - yes that neo-soul singer-songwriter (soul rnb hiphop), 17d lor liput, natural wine bar
  
• DJ, Neil Conversion: emo night, 43 neil road, gay bar
  
• DJ, Yang Club: Coyote Ugly ft. DJ Verra V (INA edm/trap), sherpa big M, clarke quay
  
• DJ, Majesty Chen: DJ Killyx & Lady Goth - Hardstyle (THA) - last), oxley tower 138 robinson rd CBD
  
• DJ, Offtrack: Yen Disco Soundsystem and MZA EP launch - SP404 performance (jazzy, uk jungle, hiphop), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
  
• DJ, Potato Head: Yujin (house-tech nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bistro-speakeasy
  
• DJ, Vertigo 26: Twilight Soul ft Redrimbaud & daniel peters, at mint museum city hall, listening bar
  
• DJ, Headquarters: Fiedel (GER techno), hq 66A boat quay, $37
  
• DJ, CE LA VI: Magdalena (GER melodic techno & house), marina bay sands tower 3, $38
  
• DJ, Moonstone: The Weatherman (baeleric housey, jazzy), 103 Amoy St (telok ayer), bar
  
• DJ, Phuture: Slime - SPIT PIT the ultimate Rap Battle ft YUNGTAUFOO collective, zouk phuture clarke quay, $30
  
• DJ, Prism: 7 Deadly Sins: Lust - Masquerade Party, prism club marina square, $32 freeflow
  

28/05 Sun

• Cactus Cactus - Life Is Short EP Launch ft curb, intermission, kyoto protocol (my), captn trips the kid (my) - alt rock gig, phil's studio parklane (dhoby), $25
• Vidya Shah - evening of ghazals, sufi , stories, BAITHAK, esplanade recital studio, $65
• Singapore Pooram 2023 : Singapore & India Festival, gardens by the bay, $15
• YST: Trombone Weekend Gala Concert ft. Lion City Brass & YST Faculty, nus yong siew toh conservatory, $10
• NTU A Capella: NTU CAC Harmonix Down Memory Lane, laselle college at bugis, $22
• Victoria Concert Hall Open House and Family-Friendly Performances/Tours, various
• Everyday, Last Show SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK: A Midsummer Night's Dream, fort canning park, $60
• Drum Workshop: SCAPE presents Shed! 8, scape orchard, free with reg

SIFA

• One-man Theatre: Lolling & Rolling by Jaha Koo (KR) - last, drama centre black box, $38
• SIFA X: there is no future in nostalgia multi-performances - last, centre 42 waterloo street (bras basah), Give-What-You-Can
• Multidisipline Artist Talk: A Day, 2023 by Joyce Ho (TW), The Arts House, free reg
   
  
• Dinner Party: Eat Drink Dance Africa by Africa Parties SG, La Salsa Kitchen Bar at Dempsey, $100 with dinner & drinks
  
• DJ, ELEMENT: House Edition 1 (KRIS HAAGENSEN, taz, vanan m, eiraie soundraid, radarboy3000), honcho 12 ann siang rd, $25
  
• DJ, GROOVETOP x Potato Head ft. St Vincent & The Grenadines (MNL), Candiceb & Kenneth Francis (funk soul afro house garage), potato head keong saik rooftop, $20
  

29/05 Mon

• Esplanade: Hwa Chong Institution Choir, concert hall, $15
• SIFA Multidisciplinary: A Day, 2023 by Joyce Ho (TW) - TILL 4 Jun Sun, the arts house, free reg
• Naruto TV Animation 20th anniversary exhibtion ft. naruto x boruto VR till July 2nd, marina square level 3, $25

30/05 Tue

• Esplanade: Dominic Chin x Michael: Medi Musical, free
• SIFA Participatory Theatre: The School - TILL 4 Jun SUN, Stamford Arts Centre (bugis), $48

31/05 Wed

• Esplanade: Siao Sing Songs (musical theatre ish), free
• Jazz Loft: Legacy Series - Sinclair Ang & His Rhythmakers (swing dance), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $24
• Last Day of The Laselle Show Graduation Exhibition, rochor campus
• The ARTrio - MUSICAL INTERLUDES (Bach, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Schumann ++), library at esplanade, free reg
• DJ, Simply Retro's Only DJ - Make It Retro (80s, wham etc), chijmes b1, bar-club
• DJ, Potato Head: ash le tigre (hiphop rnb nite), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bistro-speakeasy
• DJ, Offtrack: Intriguant (electronica breakbeat), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
• DJ, Club Rich: DJ YE (MY manyao, oriental edm), 114 middle road (bugis)

1/06 Thu

• HOJEAN (indie pop) ft alicia dc, grid mall at dhoby ghaut, $74
• Food & Music: GASTROBEATS till 25 june, bayfront event space, free admission
• i Light SG 2023 Starts - Lightwave: turning the tide, marina bay & more, free to $5*
• Esplanade: Siao Sing Songs (musical theatre ish), free
• Poetry of Ecstasy • Solo Piano Recital by Yevgeny Sudbin, victoria concert hall, $25
• Wheeler's Estate: BEYOND tribute night, 2 Park Lane (seletar), $50 soldout
• Orbifold global music competition by the musicians stage (for youths, classical), voices of singapore recital hall
• SIFA Workshop: EIZO-Theater Workshop with Shimpei Yamada, aliwal arts centre, $38
• Workshop: TM KRISHNA masterclass - karnatik music
• NTUC Clubhouse Havelock Unplugged Night: Amanda Tee, Havelock II (clarke quay)

 

• DJ, EMONIGHTSG: The B-Sides (alt rock, 00s emo, guilty pleasure pop-punk), hard rock cafe orchard, $20
• DJ, MAGIC CARPET bollywood/bhangra club: end of semester ultimate students party (18 ok), 7500 beach rd (bugis), $30 or free
• DJ, WhoHurtYou x CULTURE: Linkin Park Tribute & friends, club iki (ikigai the riverwalk, clarke quay), $29
• DJ, CULTURE: Mando Hearts (mandopop edm, manyao?) ft dj pin, miggy t, j2, luxe club marina square, $31 sold out but table open
• DJ, BOLLYWOOD CLUB: Masquerade Party, yang club clarke quay, $32
• DJ, INDIAN CLUB X: Bollywood Rave, prism club marina square, $37
• DJ, Gay Event: Hyperrise, majesty chen 138 robinson rd cbd, $48 soldout
• DJ, Retro Night (80s-90s) at Furama Riverfront, 405 Havelock Road Singapore, $20
• DJ, Sleeping Giants Taiseng: Fusion Thursday (bhangra, bollywood, hiphop), Grantral Mall (tai seng), bar
• DJ, Candyshop x Cherry Disco: Hard Candy wild men cherry flavour ft dj clammr (throwback/open/lgbt), 133 cecil st
• DJ, MILK: Dugem Night (malay-style edm), 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3
• DJ, Drip: Wet Dreams ft Entity (daniel & tmo), next to concorde hotel orchard, $25
• DJ, Zouk Phuture: DJ Jagi & DJ Young (k-hiphop rnb), zouk clarke quay
• DJ, Thugshop XXL: UFO95 & Alarico (techno, a little acid-idm) ft Haan, MDLR 62 cecil street (telok ayer), $42
• DJ, Offtrack: Daryl Knows (housey, electronica, jazzy), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
• DJ, Headquarters: Vaibs, Ma De, Violesc (techno, house),. 66 boat quay, $30
• DJ, Marquee: Mixtape Rewind ft DJ Five, Marina Bay Sands Shoppes, free to $20
• DJ, Drip : Slumber Party SG and also Wet Dreams ft. Entity: (daniel & tmo), 100 orchard road, $30 or $26
• DJ, Black Horse: DJ YE (MY manyao, oriental EDM), ming arcade orchard L7
• DJ, LEGACY GLOWHARD Harddance Festival - Sub Zero Project, Wildstylez, INQUISITIVE, Nicole Choo, Le Twins, Gammer, Brooklyn Bounce, hyde lee, suntec city convention L4, $60

2/06 Fri - Vesak Day

• WayV Fanmeeting tour 威神V, the star theatre buona vista, $148
• Punk HC Gig: Friday Night Hardcore - ft. MAIR (INA), angulimala, recover, el familia, unusual poirates, new venue new poster, $15-$20 door
• Esplanade: Musical Theatre Revue - Bag of Tags by Nadya Zaheer, free
• Kulu Orr's Control Freak (Musical Live-Looping Theatre) - Day 1, esplanade recital, $30
• Timbre Eastside: EMO NIGHT bands ft. iman's leauge, rancour & noodle brain, singapore expo food garden, free
• Jazz Loft: Duncan Mckee Trio (jazz piano, ecm), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $24
• Maduro Jazz:: VISIONS by E J Hughes Quartet-Quintet , jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
• NUS Choir: Varsity Voices 2023: When I Have Sung My Songs, victoria concert hall, $25
• Guide Esplanade: Flipside - Circus / Physical Theatre Events, various
• Vocal Associates Choir: Of a Rose, a lovely Rose - MAGNIFICAT by John Rutter, esplanade concert hall, $15
• GastroBeats: 53A, bayfront event space, free
• Theatre: Doubt: A Parable by Pangdemonium Theatre - everyday TILL 18 Jun SUN, esplanade waterfront theatre, $55
• Puppet Theatre: Famous Puppet Death Scenes - TILL 4 Jun SUN, esplanade theatre studio, $30
• Movie: The Last Artisan - about haw par villa's main sculptor, asian civilisations museum, free but $10 deposit 1st
• Weekend Fest till Sunday Asian Civilisations Museum - Crossing Cultures: Made by Hand , city hall, mostly free

SIFA

• SIFA X: Intermission - Traditional Thai Music and contemporary dance, drama centre black box (bugis), $38
• SIFA Slow Cinema x Theatre: Pompeii by Edith Podesta & K Rajagopal - TILL 4 Jun SUN
   
  
• DJ, KidG Vinyl-set - Sunday Social Market at Asian Civilisations Museum, city hall, free
  
• DJ, Kampong Boogie - ft DJ Stephan Day, Kenneth Francis, bambii, joshua p, swtlrk (house jungle hiphop dub), projector golden mile tower, at the bar
  
• DJ, Hard Vibing - Resurgence (hard dance), club iki (ikigai the riverwalk, clarke quay), $26
  
• DJ, ERRANT x PRISM: Yin Yang (hiphop, top40s, techno - weeknd dojacat pitbull taylorswift) ft joshua dillon, dj 3than, cheris, prism club marina square, $35
  
• DJ, Party Social SG: Throwback night at edition rooftop bar, 182 clemenceau ave (dhoby)
  
• DJ, BASK x Magic Carpet Bollywood club: Magic Mantra ft. dj dal, milan, alvindev, dholi arvin, 7500 beach rd (bugis)
  
• DJ, Luxe Club: Rec Room (hiphop, rnb, urban), marina square, $35
  
• DJ, Club Rich: Annyeong! DJ Young and Jagi, 114 middle rd (bugis), asian club
  
• DJ, Neil Conversion: Pop Night, 43 neil rd, gay bar
  
• DJ, Cherry: James Selva, Boyardee Boys, Kiara, Som J, Belle, 133 cecil street, $25
  
• DJ, Amy's Wine Bar: Hiddy (city pop, asian), 17d lor liput holland village
  
• DJ, Phuture Zouk: I'm Not Okay ft Hedger & Cheske (emo pop-punk, alt-rock nite), zouk clarke quay
  
• DJ, MILK: No Regrets HARDSTYLE: lingling & kaeiz, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3
  
• DJ, Offtrack: Bongomann (electronica), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
  
• DJ, Tuff Club: EJ Missy, tuff club 138 robinson rd cbd, free giveaway
  
• DJ, Headquarters: Sivilian Affairs Friendly Waters - Roshan (saturday selects KL) ft. vaibs tmddj, sivanesh, himmat, ramesh k, hq 66A boat quay, $30
  
• DJ, Marquee: NGHTMRE (dubstep, festival trap), Marina Bay Sands Shoppes, $45
  

3/06 Sat

• LAUFEY, Pasir Panjang Power Station A, $75
• Damien Rice, star theatre buona vista, $98
• Shila Amzah, capitol theatre city hall, $88
• MARZ23 阿夜, esplanade annexe studio, $98
• Aaron Kwok 郭富城 Day 1, resorts world sentosa, $188 soldout
• APOCALYPSE II: Vader, Hate, Thy Disease (POL death metal) ft Amyr Abadawn (sg melodic metal), gr.id mall at dhoby ghaut, $118
• Indie Rock Gig: TROUBLE IN 2027 ft. Mourning Wood, sarco, The duckies, WOAT, Eocene, 00, 42 waterloo street (bras basah), $15
• SCO: SNYCO20 Reunion (SCCC Cultural Extravaganza) cond. Moses Gay, SCO Concert Hall, $5
• Asian Cultural Symphony Orchestra - Multicultural Musical Mosaics - ft lynnette seah, cond. tsung yeh, victoria concert hall, $28
• ALL THAT JAZZ at Our Tampines Hub - Jeremy Monteiro Organ Quartet, Miss Lou, AkeHao 啊客号, Stephen Francis, Kencana Jazz, OTH town square, free
• Jazz Loft: MUSE X ft NyaLi (modern jazz funk fusion), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $24
• Maduro Jazz: Weekend Jazz with Duncan McKee Trio ft. MAYA NOVA. jazz bar harding rd (dempsey) $65 drink credits
• Esplanade: Vivien Yap - Calm down VV (indie pop/rock), free
• Esplanade Comedy Theatre: COMICAL 100: Improv Comedy Deathmatch, free
• Kulu Orr's Control Freak Workshop (Musical Live-Looping Theatre) Last, esplanade recital, $18
• Yamaha Electone Festival - music competition, Voices of Singapore Capitol Theatre B1, $12
• Drag: RIOT Drag Show, hard rock cafe orchard, left $25
• GastroBeats: peep show, bayfront event space, free
• Workshop: Unleash Your Inner Saxophonist - A Yamaha Workshop by Teo Boon Chye, plaza singapura dhoby ghaut, free reg
• Blackbird: Johnny Come Lately (The Eagles Tribute Night) x Surath & Rene, blackbird bar at gillman barracks (labrador park)

SIFA

• SIFA X: Intermission - Traditional Thai Music and contemporary dance, drama centre black box (bugis), $38
• SIFA: NEW-ILLUSION by Toshiki Okada/chelfitsch (JP) - 1st, SOTA studio theatre, $38
• SIFA Circus Theatre: Humans 2.0 by Circa (AU) - 1st, esplanade, $38

 

• DJ, The Powerpuff Girls Parade by MANIFEST (tech house ft lizzy, rimka, jonnyvicious), bisoux at Gr.ID Mall dhoby ghaut, $30
• DJ, Odyssey Rave x Darkari : atmosphere, majesty chen 138 robinson road oxley tower L20, $29
• DJ, INTO THE DEEP x iki: Uncaged with Raja Rani and Muttiah Asnim (house, techno), club iki (ikigai the riverwalk, clarke quay), $22
• DJ, First Ever Queer Reggaeton Party - Duttywine, projector x picturehouse (cathay), $20
• DJ, Crash Cartel: Noche De Tentacion (reggaeton seduction), Club Limelight 79 circular rd (boat quay), $22
• DJ, Gay Pool Party: Bring Your Own Trunks, sofitel hotel city centre (tanjong pagar), $40
• DJ, Partymovement SG: Tasty X dt eva, sweezy, mc t.williams (open format), blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $10
• DJ, Afro Franco Night ft. DJ B.I.G & Stef (80s, french, latino rnb) at blu jaz, blu jaz at bali ln (bugis), $20
• DJ, Indian Club X: Tamasha & DJ Sue Project, luxe club marina square, $27
• DJ, Melodic Beats x Club Di Lusso Rooftop Party - DJ Zushan / Moreish (open-format: from house-tech to hiphop), tekka place rooftop (rocholittle india), $20
• DJ, Pelago Silent Disco Full Moon Party, skypark marina bay sands, $45
• DJ, DJ KFC Vinyl-set - Sunday Social Market at Asian Civilisations Museums, city hall, free
• DJ, Kunda’s 1 Year Anniversary (afro, deep, tech house), 32 tras st (maxwell), $30
• DJ, Cherry: James Selva, EJ Missy, Ayekay, Shai, Som J (open format, tech-housey), 133 cecil street, $25
• DJ, Black Horse: Anrev, Kaeiz, Sforla, Adderall (hardstyle, hiphop, oriental edm etc), ming arcade orchard L7
• DJ, Amy's Wine Bar: LeLand & Mako (housey), 17d lor liput holland village
• DJ, MILK: Viva La Vida Reggaeton Nite, 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3
• DJ, Offtrack: Seelie (TH Balearic, house), beside hong lim park, gastro bar
• DJ, Headquarters: Aquarian (industrial techno, uk jungle-grime) ft Daryl & dexter colt, hq 66A boat quay, $37
• DJ, Tuff Club: One With Aldrin (indie disco, techno housey), 138 robinson rd cbd, free giveaway
• DJ, Marquee: W&W (trance, prog house), Marina Bay Sands Shoppes, $55

4/06 Sun

• Aaron Kwok 郭富城 Last Day, resorts world sentosa, $188 soldout
• END (US metalcore) ft. error, killonsight, wreckonize, dissect, gr.id mall at dhoby ghaut, $55
• Esplanade: Vivien Yap - Calm down VV (indie rock-pop), free
• Thirdspace Sessions - Paroxysms ft. brian oreilly, jon he, george chua, lynette quek (avant music gig ) , Goodman Arts Centre, $10-$20
• Kids Philharmonic Orchestra: Pre-Korea Trip Concert - incl. senior orchestra, victoria concert hall, $37
• Kulu Orr's Control Freak (Musical Live-Looping Theatre) - Last, esplanade recital, $30
• GastroBeats: jive talkin, bayfront event space, free
• Movie: Class Acts - Singapore's Alternative Scene Documentary, for asian civilisations museum (city hall), free-ish register
• Pasar Pink x Sunday Social: lgbt market & dj, Museum Of Ice Cream (dempsey)
• DJ, DJ Brendon P & Joshua P Vinyl-set - Sunday Social Market at Asian Civilisations Museums, city hall, free
• DJ, Irie Vibrations (Reggae Day) at Potato Head: Masia One/ALX/Conrad Good Vibration/Yella Sky Sound System, 36 Keong Saik, rooftop bar
• DJ, Tanjong Beach Club: DJ Shigeki (house, disco, funk, soul), 120 tanjong beach walk sentosa

SIFA

• SIFA: NEW-ILLUSION by Toshiki Okada/chelfitsch (JP) - last, SOTA studio theatre, $38
• SIFA Circus Theatre: Humans 2.0 by Circa (AU) - last, esplanade, $38

5/06 Mon

• BoyWithUke, capitol theatre city hall, $88
• Guitar Concert: Maestro Flavio Cucchi and Sig. Thomas Liauw - East Meets West, esplanade recital, $48

6/06 Tue

• Peter Cincotti (jazz-pop, piano rock), victoria theatre, $78
• Piano Prodigy: Mikkel Stars Chopin ft Mikkel Myer Lee with Asian Symphony Orchestra, esplanade concert hall , $28

7/06 Wed

• * Our Tampines Hub The 80s Hits - Fran & Mei, tampines hub, free
• * Stratos Rooftop Bar: Emo Pop-punk Open Mic with j-marc, 111 middle rd national design center, bar
• * DJ, Potato Head: DJ K (rnb hiphop), 36 Keong Saik Rd, bar bistro
• * DJ, Zouk: Ghetto & Che'Molly - Barbie?, Phuture - Rattle & Caden, zouk, free
• * DJ, Cherry: Kiara, Som J, Jules, 133 cecil street cbd, $30 - ladies free
• * DJ, Luxe: Clueless (00s party anthems) ft. EZ.Rawr, Belle, pan pacific hotel/marina square, $30
• * DJ, Black Horse: Sforla + Gerlexis, ming arcade orchard, asian club
• * DJ, MILK: Que Pasa Papi ladies night (reggaeton, latin), 530 North Bridge Rd Bugis Point L3, free for ladies
• DJ, FOMOLOCO: Chupitos x FomoHomo with drag (Latin beats party hits, queer), clarke quay, $25

8/06 Thu

• * Qawwali - हिन्दी - Fareed Ayaz & Abu Muhammad, capitol theatre, $60
• * QUEER TRIVIA NIGHT with prettipls & katongqueens, hard rock cafe orchard, $10
• * phfew at stratos rooftop bar (alt-rock), national design center 111 middle rd, bar
• * DJ, Prism: Gucci Nights (hiphop reggaeton latin), marina square club, free entry
• * DJ, Yang Club: Slave to the Rave: Red Ethan Kidd Royale, MC Hund, clarke quay

find me on - t.me/sgmusicchat

Here is a maintenance list I found saved in my notes from like 2 years ago. I think it’s from Tumblr.
Full body Beauty Maintenance List
Since there is so much information about products we don’t need I made this list with only the essentials, this is a minimalist list of tools to create a straightforward full body (inexpensive) Beauty routine.
Hair (4C)
• Spray bottle
• Detangle brush
• Satin head wraps + pillow wraps
• Afro pick
• Wide tooth comb & Brush
• Hair clips/bobby pins
• Scrunchies
• Shampoo
• Conditioner
• Deep conditioner
• Oils + Oil applicator
• Hair mask
• Daily moisturizer
• Wig cap
• (Tip: Try not to product hop)
Face
• Eyebrow razors
• Aloe vera gel
• Body Butter (lotion)
• 10 step skincare: Oil-Based Cleansers, Water-Based Cleansers, Toner, Essences, Serums & Ampoules, Eye Creams, Moisturizers / Oils, Exfoliators, Sheet Masks / Sleeping Masks, SPF.
• Dermatologist approved skincare (acne, hyper-pigmentation, scaring)
• Lip scrub
• Vaseline/Lip balm
• Vaseline/Eyelash serum
• Teeth whitening kit
• Sunscreen
• Packs of One use mascara wands for Eyelash serum
• Face rag (Change daily)
Skin- Full Body (Arms, Legs, Neck, Torso, Breasts, Back)
• Aloe vera gel
• Body Butter (lotion)
• Sunscreen
• Exfoliator
• Exfoilator towel and normal towel
• Shave/Laser hair removal
• Dermatologist approved skincare (acne, hyper-pigmentation, scaring)
• Get a massage monthly
• Moisturizing soaps
Hands+nails+Feet
• Plastic gloves (For when doing dashes/facing face/cleaning)
• Gentle hand soap
• Sunscreen
• Cotton gloves
• Socks
• Foot files
• Foot bath solution
• Lotion
• Acetone/polish remover
• Cuticle cream/butter
• Nail brush
• Cuticle pusher
• Cuticle scissors
• Clippers
• Metal/glass nail files
• Nail buffer block
• Bamboo sticks
• Cotton balls
• Tweezers
• Cuticle oil
Bikini
• Wax/Laser hair removal
• Drink water
• Drink cranberry juice
• Gentle non-scented soaps
Other things that help
• Exercise
• 8 cups of water daily
• 8-10hr. sleep
• Multivitamins
• Balanced diet
• Balanced vitamin intake (ask your nutritionist/doctor what you’re missing)

Cover Art <<Previous Start Next >>
While her husband and wife were entertaining guests, Moriko had some work to do. Last night had hammered out who was going to be trading what and when, but now Moriko was working on coordinating to help Ricardo adjust his next planned route, and to get some of the things she had asked for to get carried with them. He had already agreed to carry anything she wanted to bring, but he wasn’t going to arrange to get everything together. Master Theodoric had indeed spoken with the Grand Master and spread word amongst the temples and other groups interested in maintaining historical records indefinitely, so now the next few days were scheduled with meetings to answer their questions.
It was a touch annoying to be honest, she was pretty certain that she’d passed along everything they actually needed to know, but it seems most people feel better getting to talk to someone face to face in a situation like this. Moriko was much happier with what she was going to do in between meetings, which was helping out the students who walked a path similar to hers. She was also going to ask them about what they wanted in their life, and figure out how she could help them achieve their other passions. She wasn’t going to just buy special tools for someone who wanted to be a sculptor, but she now had connections in the merchant world, she could point them to someone who could give the student a deal or offer some sort of payment plan. There was a difference between helping someone on their path and doing it for them.
Moriko would have found the next few days until the caravan left to be busy enough, if only a little stressful, but life was not going to be that simple. She had received a summons to Master Theodoric’s chambers again, and he was holding out an envelope towards her. His amused smile combined with the fancy looking envelope and seal to make her feel nervous as she took it from him and examined it. The flowing script that addressed it to her, care of the monastery, was beautiful and delicate, practically a work of art. It took a lot of a certain type of training to write that way.
She flipped it over to look at the seal with a growing sense of dread, which proved well founded. The center of the wax seal contained the royal crest, while the edges were imprinted with a set of small runes charged with magic. When she touched the seal, the magic sparked in recognition that the envelop had reached its intended recipient, automatically cracking the wax in a precise pattern. It wasn’t a secure enough method for anything truly important, but it was more than enough to keep out casual snooping. It also meant that who ever had used the seal’s stamp now knew that she had opened it.
Moriko pulled out the neatly folded papers within and read.

To Lady Moriko, The Royal Family is well aware of the potential importance of a Living Dungeon inside the borders of the kingdom, and in your capacity as both their contractor and their spouse we would like to invite you to a private dinner two days hence at the palace. In light of the circumstances and the short notice, we have included a voucher for a clothier who should be able to help you be ready by then. Assuming that we do not receive a reply declining the invitation, we will have a coach awaiting you at the monastery by the fourth bell of that afternoon. I also understand that you have met my little sister, and I look forward to hearing more about your encounter with our wandering flower. Yours Respectfully, Princess Kagami Apifera. P.S. As you are effectively a diplomatic representative for your dungeon, ‘Lady’ is already the correct form of address, but you will also find enclosed the proclamation giving you the title formally. 

She sighed softly, then asked “Princess Kagami is the eldest, correct?” She was not going to tell him about her new title.
“Correct. An invitation I take it?” He didn’t sound like he was really asking, it probably wasn’t hard to figure out once he saw the envelope and seal.
“Yes, though thankfully to a private dinner.” And being from the eldest sibling, the invitation was pretty much the strongest invitation that was not a nicely worded order. “Um, do you have a list of the royal family with descriptions?” Moriko had a fairly large family, but the royal family was slightly larger, and she didn’t pay enough attention to remember all the younger ones.
“I can get one written up and sent to your room.” Her master was looking far too amused, and Moriko did her best to not glare at him for it. “Shall I include some etiquette? I believe curtsying has come back in fashion for women in the court.”
“Yes please.” Moriko said through gritted teeth. It’s not that she was incapable of the courtly graces, it was that she never paid attention to them and found most of them annoying. “May I go now? It seems I need to go get a new dress.”
“Of course my dear.” Theodoric answered with a chuckle, waving her out. Moriko bowed and did her best to not stalk away. It wasn’t his fault, his amusement just didn’t help. So she sought solace from her husband and wife, which they did give but the monk was certain she felt a bit of amusement hiding behind their attempts to comfort her.
As Moriko made her way out of the compound and into the city, she worked herself through several meditative exercises as she sought to calm herself down. This was not an attack or an attempt to make her look bad, this was not some grand political dance, if it was then it would have been a public feast or some such nonsense. Which didn’t mean it was not political, it just wasn’t that sort of politics.
Her exercises also helped Moriko acknowledge another piece of what bothered her. While she could hold her own in a casual, friendly verbal spar, and occasionally land a telling verbal blow in a less friendly altercation, the subtleties of courtly versions of such things were beyond her, and if she did realize she’d been given a dire insult, she would have no means of retaliation. She would be entirely out of her element.
The section of the merchant district she was headed to was more upscale than she was used to, but that was not really a surprise. She had to ask directions a couple of times, but eventually found the clothier in question, a fairly large store front that looked to lead out to a small garden that created a buffer between it and the home behind it. While her parents had an even larger plot of land, Riverbridge was a much smaller city. Making fine clothes for the richest people in the kingdom must be turning a decent profit.
She breathed deep and held it a moment before slowly releasing it to calm her nerves. Then she walked up to the door and lightly knocked before entering. Moriko knew it wasn’t necessary for a store, but she felt like she was intruding on a space foreign to her. Inside she found a luxurious store with a handful of completed outfits on mannequins near the walls, with artwork, fabric samples, and books full of patterns taking up the rest of the wall space.
Several comfortable tall chairs and tables were decoratively scattered about the floor, though a larger space was left open in the center. On the far side of room was a counter, and an older woman whom Moriko presumed was the proprietress. She looked to be human, though the stockiness of her build might suggest a touch of dwarven or similar bloodline. If the woman had any reservations about Moriko’s appearance she never let it touch her face as she gave Moriko a warm smile. “Good day miss. How may I help you.”
Moriko strode forward as she drew the folded voucher from a pouch. “Hello. My name is Moriko, and I was informed that I should come here for a dress I need in a little under two days.” When she reached the counter Moriko handed the voucher over to the clothier.
“Oh?” She asked as she took the voucher, then read it over carefully. “Ah, I see.” She eyed Moriko thoughtfully for a moment. “And how much do you like dresses my young warrior?”
That was when Moriko realized she’d not changed and was still wearing her uniform. Oops. “Oh, I like dresses a lot. So long as they don’t restrict me.” She grinned at the clothier. “Most of my non uniform clothes are dresses actually. They tend to be fitted around my body, flowing in the skirts, and a little more than knee length, depending on the weight of the fabric. Though longer with properly done side slits work too.”
The older woman nodded along, her gaze slightly unfocused. “So designs that are pretty but that can be practical. I can work with that. Not a lot of time even with my skills, so I would like to skip giving you time to browse and make some suggestions. Any issues with that.”
Moriko shook her head. “I know what I like for me, but I don’t have any experience with this sort of thing, so please, lead the way.”
“Alright, come here.” She walked around the counter to pick out a selection of books, flipping them open to the right patterns quickly. “So, for our first visible layer, we start with a skirt with accordion folds across the front and back, but smooth side panels. The top for this layer would be a short shirt with no sleeves. The second layer would be a single piece dress with short sleeves and large front and back panels, open on the sides to show off the under skirt. Then we top that with a cropped open-front jacket with sleeves down to your elbows, then false sleeves draping down slightly longer than your forearm and hand.” The stout woman grinned. “Tear away of course, the stitching for that would be disguised with a fancy bit of ribbon work. And while you won’t need them here, I am guessing you might be happier if I hide some weights at the upper edge so you can use them as weapons in a pinch.”
Moriko stared at the pages and papers arrayed across two desks in mild shock at the speed she’d been presented with so many options. Every piece the clothier had described had at least three variations displayed to be selected from, as well as notes for tweaks and customization. It was a bit dizzying. When Moriko recovered, she started examining her options closely. “Hmm, if you can make the undershirt work as well as wraps, then I think I would like a shorter option with wider straps. If I will need to still use wraps underneath, then a bit longer so the wraps don’t peak.” Of course, part of this design was that the whole of the under shirt would not be visible.
“For the dress, I think I like this design best, but I would like a touch more daring. Do you think we can do a few diamond cutouts along the side, going from a little below the underarm to a bit above where the panel splits? Or would that be too much?”
A third voice cut in suddenly, making them both jump. “Oh, I think that would be wonderful. You do have the best designs Mistress Ula.” the rich female voice purred behind them. Ula and Moriko spun to find a dark-haired and pale-skinned seven-tailed kitsune woman behind them.
Ula’s face cracked briefly with a flash of annoyance that quickly transformed back into a welcoming smile. “Lady Yuriko, a pleasure to see you again, though I certainly wasn’t expecting you today. Are you escorting – oh.” Ula’s eyes glanced towards Moriko with a pitying look. “Your timing was not coincidental, was it? Should I be expecting to entertain all of them as they meet the young lady?”
“As perceptive as always Mistress Ula. But then, you have been putting up with all of them since the oldest was ready to be fitted for her first dress.” The kitsune turned towards Moriko and curtsied. “A pleasure to meet you Lady Moriko. I am Lady Yuriko, advisor to the king for the Azeria clan, and currently acting as escort of the peeresses of the court. Who shall be arriving very shortly.”
Moriko felt a slight sense of panic at the sudden royal ambush. By all the gods she was still wearing her temple uniform and was going to be meeting the other four royal princesses! But it was too late to run, she could hear the front door opening behind her to let in the voices of excited young women.
And part of her mind couldn’t help but wonder just how had Yuriko snuck into the shop without either of them noticing? Being found was less of a mystery to her, she’d had to pass several guard posts on the way here, and it would have been easy for them to have someone watching the shop.
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Brad Yentzer
Dr. Brad Yentzer, MD is a Dermatologist in Freeville, NY and has over 17 years of experience in the medical field. Dr. Yentzer has extensive experience in Skin Cancer & Excision, Cosmetic Skin Procedures, and Skin Conditions. He graduated from Thomas Jefferson University in 2006. He is affiliated with Cayuga Medical Center at Ithaca. His office accepts new patients

Diptyque is legendary. Diptyque's candles and fragrances waft like butterflies but, however, it's highway robbery. Here's why...
This from Diptyque: "In addition to natural fragrances, Diptyque candles can also boast a high quality that is hard to match." Read between the lines. Natural fragrance does not mean essential oils. If Diptyque used essential oils they would say so. Diptyque uses synthetic oils, which almost all high-end perfumers use. There's an argument too that pure essential oils don't have a strong throw but that's another discussion. My main critique with Diptyque is that their candles are dry and very little oil is used, whether synthetic or natural. Many candles have little to no smell at all.
Diptyque was once a small company making small batch artisanal candles. The amount of oil in their candles used to bead up on the wax surface. When lit, their candles filled the room with extraordinary fragrance. When unlit, their candles had a strong cold throw. No more. Diptyque's quality is gone but it's no surprise. Diptyque expanded to some 100 stores all over the world and with expansion comes compromise. Diptyque candles are mass produced, of poor quality, and sold for exorbitant prices.
Then there's this. "Diptyque candles are all hand-poured and made of high-quality paraffin wax." This is crazy. You're paying $80 for a candle made with petroleum based paraffin wax. Is this paraffin wax from China or from France? Does it matter and how do we know? Oh, and thank you Diptyque for not using "poor-quality" paraffin wax. I can't make this stuff up if I tried. Of course, Diptyque couldn't use soy wax or beeswax because this would be too costly for them and they'd have to have to raise the price beyond what is already extraordinary. Better to pinch pennies at the factory and maximize profits. Sounds like something something an equity firm would do, not an artisanal French candlemaker.
It goes on. "Each candle is carefully prepared individually and hand poured to ensure that a qualified person can spot any problems and flaws." Does it matter if a candle is hand poured or poured from a machine? Again, with 100 stores and candles being made en masse, all that matters is precision. Great candles must use high quality wax, high quality oils and fragrances, and high quality wicks centered on their bases. This is marketing gobbledygook and Diptyque knows it.
It gets worse. Sure enough, in 2005, Diptyque was bought by... you guessed it... a private equity firm, Manzanita Capital. Their CEO, William S. Fisher's worth is $1.85 billion. He worked at the Gap and he's a hedge fund manager. It's Fisher's job to maximize profits at all costs, definitely not what I would associate with an artisanal, high quality candlemaker.
There are salaries to be paid. I'm not talking about the pittance that Diptyque's staff are paid, though they're the heart of the company and should be well compensated. The real money is made at the top of the food chain. It explains why Diptyque's candles cost $80 and if you want to buy a lid for the candle, that's an extra $30 - $60 for a cheap piece of... whatever. If you're not careful, you can spend up to $140 for a 190g paraffin wax candle. Like I said, highway robbery.
Diptique is no longer a French candle company. They are owned by a London-based conglomerate. Diptyque's gorgeous looking products and their extraordinary history keeps them from being a 1-star company, but their candles suck purple Twinkies.
There are many better alternatives at all price points. Here are a few high-end candlemakers that use quality ingredients:
Cire Trudon, Mad et Len, Maitre Gantier, Christian Tortu, Le Labo, & Carrière Frères
...and many come with lids.

EDIT:
Thank you all for your insights! I've come to the conclusion that I was a bit too gullible when reading through this list for the first time, and should have dismissed many of the points instantly.
Most of the tasks are indeed:

• regularly outsourced to professionals
• monthly, annually or even less often occurring
• rooted in toxic masculinity
• not even really tasks anyway? like the jar opening u/screenee mentioned

So thanks again for opening my eyes on this and seeing the actual value of this list Mr. Farrell made! And also on not creating the female equivalent I was asking for, which would rightly be very toxic as said by u/faeduster
____________________________
So there was this post on another sub about how men and women generally divide tasks around the house / the relationship. And how men do more housework than women realise. There was a list added to the post which was created by a man called Warren Farrell called the male housework list.
While reading that list I was surprised by the massive amount of things on there! My second surprise was that I, the woman in our relationship, still do most of the relevant tasks of this list. But that's perhaps something I should talk to him about, because I feel like I'm burning up with the mental and physical load of all the housework I do. Especially since I'm the also the one with the full-time job who brings in the majority of our income...
The total housework list I had in my head was way shorter than just Mr Farrell's male housework list. This was my list:

• grocery shopping
• cooking
• dishes
• house cleaning
• washing clothes
• waste management
• gardening
• property maintenance

Since this male housework list is way more extensive than I could have imagined, I was wondering what a female equivalent of this list would be. Because I must be missing something here and might be doing even more things I didn't imagine I was doing.

So my question is:

What are all the female coded (hidden) household/relationship tasks that women perform?

​
Here is the list that Farrell came up with:

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TIME DO YOU VS. YOUR PARTNER DO THESE CHORES?
Activities most likely to break an arm, leg, or neck, or to crack a skull: In your relationship, who climbs tall ladders or checks out the roof? For example, who uses ladders to do house painting (e.g., reaching for a spot we’ve missed that’s too far away on a homemade scaffold on a windy day), or to clean outside windows; or to go into the attic? Who shovels wet snow off a roof to avoid roof damage, resulting in many men slipping off the roof every winter?
A man who falls off a roof or ladder is lucky if he breaks only an arm; some men, though, are paralyzed for life, or killed; others find shoveling snow off a roof leads to problems that get them classified in one of the next two categories.

1. Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks: Shoveling snow off a driveway or sidewalk; pushing a car that’s out of gas off a crowded street into the gas station; playing tag, soccer, or basketball with the kids for a “little too long” while trying to teach the children that a parent can be a playmate too; or carrying a sleepy child from an upstairs bed to the backseat of a car and back into bed again without waking up the child, only to find Dad’s heartbeat getting erratic and pain thrusting through his arm.
   
2. Activities most likely to cause lower back problems and hernia operations: Moving furniture or twisting his back as he juggles a heavy suitcase into the backseat of a two-door car (or behind other suitcases in a trunk); or trying to carry a IV or a computer up a down staircase; or moving the refrigerator or some file cabinets; or moving tables at a church event or picnic.
   
3. Assembly: Mail-order products, toys, bikes, furniture, bookcases, beds; putting up kids’ plastic pools, backyard tents.
   
4. Barbecuing: Shopping for barbecue, charcoal, propane; basting, marinating, cooking; cleaning up of grill, tongs, ashes, etc.
   
5. Bodyguard: at home (e.g., who usually checks it out in the middle of the night when you and your partner are awakened by a noise that sounds like someone has just broken into your home, and you know they could have a gun?); in public places (who plays bodyguard when nightfall turns a beautiful park into a dangerous park or a quaint side street into a dangerous alley; or when a lonely hiking trail proves to be a rattlesnake haven; or when a ski slope becomes an avalanche?). We've all read stories of a man saving a woman from a burning house or a raging river or a crashed car. Women often save children in these situations—and even lift cars to save children. Although I’ve asked over a million people (on IV and radio) to send me a story of a woman risking her life to save an adult man, so far, no stories. Every time a woman and man walk together in a public place, he unconsciously serves as an unpaid bodyguard.
   
6. Camping: It starts with taking psychological responsibility for avoiding disaster (checking weather predictions and safety of the location, buying correct tent and camping gear, taking responsibility for not getting lost, knowing how to use a compass, etc.), then carrying the primary backpack (often including the stove and a kerosene lamp), erecting the tent, dig¬ ging drainage trenches, gathering firewood, building the fire, hoisting food away from animals. The man is often the camping home buyer, home mover, and homemaker.
   
7. Car buying: Price negotiation, Consumer Guide/Blue Book- type research.
   
8. Car maintenance and repair: Checking hoses, belts, tire pressures, vacuuming inside, applying Armor All; comparisons of prices with mechanics, tire changing (see also Emergencies).
   
9. Carpentry: From putting up shelves (in garage, basement, and closets) to repairing loose fence slats, to making bookcases, to building a doghouse.
   
10. Christmas: Putting up lights on house and tree; tree purchase, set-up, dismantling and disposal; retrieving boxes of ornaments from dusty attic or storage area.
    
11. “Male cleaning”: Car washing (and waxing); cleaning all painting tools for reuse (brushes, rollers, pans, guides); cleaning out the basement, attic, fireplace and gutters (the darkest, dirtiest, hottest and coldest parts of the house); cleaning filters of air conditioning and heating units; cleaning yard; bathing of dogs; and, if there’s a pool or Jacuzzi. . . . (See also: Barbecuing; Diaper Changing, Male Equivalents of; Guns and Weapons; Activities most likely to break. . . . )
    
12. Coaching-as-child care: Baseball (1-Ball, CAP Leagues, Little League), softball (e.g., Bobby Soxers), football (Pop Warner), roller hockey, field hockey, ice hockey, soccer; more informal coaching-as-child care via "playing together” in basketball, or throwing, catching, and hitting a ball; instructions in individualized sports such as tennis; instructions in self- defense (aikido, boxing, wrestling).
    
13. Computer buying: Researching best hardware and software; comparing prices, new vs. used markets, etc.
    
14. Confrontations—with neighbors or strangers: “Go tell the neighbors their dogs barking too loud.” Or, you’ve just gotten into a car accident with a stranger; who approaches the other driver when everyone is emotionally off center?
    
15. Dead animal disposal: DAD quickly comes to mean Dead Animal Disposer when the gerbil dies, the rat’s been trapped, when the mouse has been lead into temptation, or when the dog’s been run over and the street has blood all over. What’s worse for some dads, though, is having to kill the almost-dead animal—when DAD means Dying Animal Disposer.
    
16. Decks: Building, sanding, staining, sealing.
    
17. Diaper changing, male equivalents of: Plunging a backed-up toilet; wiping up a child's vomit when carsick on a vacation; cleaning up after dog doo from own dog and neighbors'.
    
18. Digging: Holes and ditches, removing of boulders, tree stumps, etc.
    
19. Dinner when company’s visiting: Meat carving, wine opening, cocktail making (careful guys, most women still do most everything else when company's visiting).
    
20. Disciplining of kids: "Wait till Daddy comes home."
    
21. Dragon-killing—modern version: Swatting flies, stepping on roaches, squishing spiders—all without a sword (or, for pacifist performers, removing the spider without hurting it!).
    
22. Driving: To and from functions that both sexes go to together, especially when conditions are hazardous (e.g., when caught in rush hour in a strange city; when caught in snow on an icy mountain road; when caught in heavy rain, wind, and fog at night, or when in a foreign country), or when both are exhausted or have had a bit too much to drink; on long trips, especially late at night while the family sleeps; or on a motorcycle (have you ever seen a woman on a motorcycle with a man hanging on?). The automobile and motorcycle are the modern-day white horse. Like the man on the white horse, his role involves more accidents; the man on the white horse, though, never had to worry about a DU I citation!
    
23. Emergency prevention: In home (e.g., noticing and repairing frayed wires, plugs, sockets, smoke detectors); in car (putting chains on tires; being certain all the cars' fluids [oil, transmission, anti-freeze] are being changed on schedule, tool kit and flares are adequate, flashlight has batteries, etc.); via nature (battening down windows, putting sand bags in the trunk before a blizzard, making sure trees aren't creating a hazard to house or people should a storm arise), on the town (making sure there’s cash in the wallet and gas in the car).
    
24. When emergencies arise despite prevention: Sandbagging; changing a tire on a cold night in the rain on a dangerous part of the road in the bad part of town; taking the walk for five gallons of gas when the car runs out; or risking putting the battery cable on the wrong side of the battery.
    
25. Post-emergencies: Roof repair (shingles, holes, leaks, etc.); removal of fallen trees and branches; rebuilding and repairing after damage; or arranging for, supervising and helping with rebuilding and repair.
    
26. Fences: Building fences from stone or wood, or installing a wire fence.
    
27. Fire building, wood chopping and carting wood indoors while not getting the carpet dirty.
    
28. Garbage: Real men take out the garbage because, you see, it's in their genes to know how to use the garbage can cover as a shield should anything happen in that journey from the castle to the street. If he takes out the recycled items and the garden waste, it’s just because he wants to protect his turf of being the garbage man (excuse me, waste management engineer).
    
29. Gas/electric failures: Resetting clocks and circuit switches; relighting pilot lights; troubleshooting.
    
30. Gift-giving as a contribution to maintaining the romance: We often say men aren’t romantic, but we forget that it is men who are more likely to give the flowers she likes; the diamonds with the right 4 Cs (carat size, clarity, cut and color [then he worries about the 5th C—cost]); the earrings with the hypoallergenic studs; the perfume with the scent she prefers; the right-size ring for the correct finger with the right stone and her preferred cut; or to choose a restaurant that fits her definition of romantic, arranging the occasion, taking her there, and paying. Many a man has never had even one of these things done for him by even one woman one time (just as some women have never had a man do their laundry, cook a meal, or even make a cup of tea).
    
31. Guns and weapon: Purchase, cleaning, usage, and safety for protecting family from thieves in city and from animals in rural areas.
    
32. Hanging: Of heavy pictures, wall hangings, clocks, phones (especially when molly bolts, toggle bolts, or drywall or plastic anchors are necessary)
    
33. Installation/hook-up: Of washer, dryer, computer, TV, cables, and antennas.
    
34. Life insurance: Purchasing and choice of carrier.
    
35. Risky investment management (stocks, joint ventures, rental property): The investments that inspire blame when they fail and induce stress even when they succeed.
    
36. Opening: Jars, doors, big boxes, paint cans, windows that are stuck or frozen.
    
37. Option generating: In many couples, the man generates the options, the woman generates the rejections. For example, he asks, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” She answers, “Anywhere.” “Chinese?” he offers. “We just had that,” she reminds. “Italian?” “loo heavy.” “How about that new place—what's its name?” he tries. “I hear that's expensive.” When it comes to restaurants and to movies, the man often generates the options and the woman often selects even immediately after she's said, “It makes no difference.” Option-generating often involves having one's ideas rejected, which can be emotionally taxing.
    
38. Painting: Inside and outside of the home, and the laying down of masking tape, sheets, and other painting preparation (See also: Male cleaning and Activities most likely to break an arm . . . ).
    
39. Patio and sidewalk making: And sealing over cracks, requiring cement mixing, building of frame, making it level, and living with every mistake because it's “laid on concrete.”
    
40. Planting: New trees, bushes, larger plants.
    
41. Plastering, spackling, grouting, caulking, and mortaring: And creating the plaster, spackle, grout and mortar mixtures.
    
42. Poisons, exposure to: Use of insecticides to spray for ants and roaches; or to spray trees, flowers, garden vegies.
    
43. Programming: The VCR (“Honey, before we leave, I can't miss the special on male housework; would you program the VCR?”), or the CD player, the telephone speed dial.
    
44. Pumping gas, paying for gas, changing oil: When there's both a man and woman in the car, I notice men pump the gas about 80 percent of the time in Northeast 8c West Coast urban areas and university towns, and almost 100 percent of the time anywhere else.
    
45. Reading the business and financial pages: To get a feel for business trends that may affect career decisions and information related to investment decisions (which may just look like him “goofing off reading the paper” but is the equivalent of a woman reading recipes in Better Homes & Gardens or Family Circle [still the best selling magazines to women]). On the other hand, guys, the sports pages don't count!
    
46. Remodeling: Taking down walls, putting in windows, finishing garage or basement, and, for better men than I, building entire new rooms.
    
47. Repairs: Toilets, faucets, plumbing, electrical, window screens, sliding glass and screen doors, problems with cabinets, doors, etc.
    
48. Sharpening: Knives, mower blades, pruning shears.
    
49. Shopping for: Paint, hardware, lumber, spackle, lawnmower, tools, much of the "bulk” shopping (Office Depot, Home Depot, Price Club, CostCo, etc.) (See Also: Computer buying; Car buying; Stereo aTid video buying; and Life insurance, for additional "Male Shopping” categories)
    
50. Stereo and video buying: Hooking up, troubleshooting, repair arranging, and supervising.
    
51. Toy and bike care: Oiling, painting, and fixing kids' bikes, swing sets, jungle gyms, merry-go-rounds, and other outdoor play equipment.
    
52. Weather guard: Guarding a woman against exposure to rain, sleet, and snow by forfeiting his jacket to a woman who is cold even when he is also cold; walking between a woman and a street in which cars and trucks might splash water or slush onto their clothes; scraping ice and snow off a car windshield on a freezing morning; dropping the family off at a restaurant or movie when it's pouring, then parking and walking to the restaurant or theater in the rain (especially if no one has an umbrella); warming up the car before the family gets in it; bringing in the newspaper on a rainy morning; salting the driveway, sidewalk, and stairs when the rain has frozen over, so that if anyone falls, he does .‘(See Also: "Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks” and "Emergency” categories).
    
53. Yard work: Lawn mowing, fertilizing, weeding, clipping, leaf raking, tree trimming, etc.
    

Warren Farrell's male housework list came up here a couple months ago, so I figured I would transcribe it in full.
It comes from the book Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say. It's a relationship book about communication strategies that tackles a lot of the issues that come up in some of these gender discussions.
The author is a well known feminist and men's rights advocate who spent decades working as a professional marriage counselor.
One of the premises of the book is that marital conflict often comes from "political" messages in society that people internalise. A lot of which is the kind of stuff you hear from feminists pretty regularly today. Like the idea that women do all the work at home (they don't) and are unappreciated by men (which isn't true). Or the idea that they're being exploited and treated like slaves because they don't get paid (they obviously live off their husband's money).
Of course if you're a woman and you believe that, you might start harbouring resentment against your husband!
Farrell gives the example of ads saying things like "when was the last time your husband cooked?". And says that men might harbour resentment against their wives if ads instead said things like, "when was the last time your wife helped you clean the gutters?".
Men often don't notice what they do for their families themselves.
One study mentioned by Farrell found that women exaggerate the amount of time they spend doing chores by a factor of 3.
Whereas men underestimate their contributions by a full half.
So if a man estimates that he puts in 10 hours a week at home, in reality he's doing 20.
And if a woman estimates she's doing 60, in reality she's only doing 20 as well.
Sources:

F. Thomas Juster and Frank P. Stafford, “The Allocation of Time: Empirical Findings, Behavioral Models, and Problems of Measurement,” Journal of Economic Literature, vol. 29, June 1991, p. 484.
Martha S. Hill and F. Thomas Juster, "Constraints and Complementaries in Time Use," in Juster and Stafford 1985, pp. 429-70 as cited in Juster, ibid., Table 3 "Changes in Time Allocation in Five Societies, 1965-1980s."

Women of course do a lot at home. On average they spend more time doing housework and taking care of children than men. But that is changing now that more and more women work full-time.
Sources:

Arlie Hochschild, The Second Shift (New York: Avon Books, 1990), p. 248.
Robert VerBruggen. The Myth of the ‘Lazy’ Father (Institute for Family Studies, 2019), https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-myth-of-the-lazy-father. Total paid and unpaid labour for fathers with stay at home mums: 62 hours to mum's 46 hours; both work at least part time: fathers labour 62 hours to mum's 59 hours; both work full-time: fathers labour 63 hours to mum's 62 hours.

When you include paid labor, men actually do more work than women across the board. That includes stay at home situations, and full-time working couples. Data going back to the 1960s has shown that this is relatively constant across time, and between different countries.
Sources:

F. Thomas Juster and Frank P. Stafford, “The Allocation of Time: Empirical Findings, Behavioral Models, and Problems of Measurement,” Journal of Economic Literature, vol. 29, June 1991, p. 477. Her average hours both inside and outside the home add up to fifty-four (54.4); his, to fifty-eight (57.8).
Martha Hill, Patterns of Time Use in Time, Goods, and Well-Being (Ann Arbor, Institute for Social Research, University of Michigan, 1985), ed. F. Thomas Juster and Frank P. Stafford. See also Joseph H. Pleck, Working Wives of Working Husbands (Beverly Hills, Sage Publications, 1985), p. 41, table 2.3.
John P. Robinson, “Up Close and Personal,” American Demographics, Vol. 11, No. I 1, November 1989, p. 10. Men: 72.9 hours of leisure time; women: 74.7. Included in leisure time was time to eat, sleep, groom, take care of personal medical care, and other personal care, as well as the travel related to these activities.
John P. Robinson, "Americans on the Road,” American Demographics, September 1989, p. 10. Men commute four hours per week to women's two hours per week. Of course, working mothers with young children are likely to commute even less, and fathers, because of their income-producing responsibilities, to commute even more.
"For both moms and dads, more time spent on child care" (PEW RESEARCH CENTER, 2019), https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/ft_18-05-01_fathersday_time/. 2016 dads: 61 hours per week; moms: 57. 1965 dads: 52.5 hours per week; moms: 51.
Robert VerBruggen. The Myth of the ‘Lazy’ Father (Institute for Family Studies, 2019), https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-myth-of-the-lazy-father. Average combined paid and unpaid labour for fathers: 59 hours to mum's 54 hours.

Many of these studies come to these conclusions despite exaggerating female tasks and downplaying male tasks (which is sometimes done intentionally). This is one of the reasons Farrell made his list in the first place. He compares it against a different list used by the radical feminist Arlie Hochschild in her book The Second Shift where she tries to cherry pick government data to prove that women effectively work two jobs, while men only work one.
But the reality is a man's contributions to his family don't stop at the workplace. There's an entire second shift that men do every day around (and outside) their homes as well. Women aren't the only ones who do chores for their families. The only difference is we systematically ignore the male side of this. Many men spend entire weekends, or take days off from work, to get their honey do lists accomplished. But for some reason, we view all of this very different from how we view housework done by women.
Here is the list that Farrell came up with:

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF THE TIME DO YOU VS. YOUR PARTNER DO THESE CHORES?
1. Activities most likely to break an arm, leg, or neck, or to crack a skull: In your relationship, who climbs tall ladders or checks out the roof? For example, who uses ladders to do house painting (e.g., reaching for a spot we’ve missed that’s too far away on a homemade scaffold on a windy day), or to clean outside windows; or to go into the attic? Who shovels wet snow off a roof to avoid roof damage, resulting in many men slipping off the roof every winter?
A man who falls off a roof or ladder is lucky if he breaks only an arm; some men, though, are paralyzed for life, or killed; others find shoveling snow off a roof leads to problems that get them classified in one of the next two categories.
2. Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks: Shoveling snow off a driveway or sidewalk; pushing a car that’s out of gas off a crowded street into the gas station; playing tag, soccer, or basketball with the kids for a “little too long” while trying to teach the children that a parent can be a playmate too; or carrying a sleepy child from an upstairs bed to the backseat of a car and back into bed again without waking up the child, only to find Dad’s heartbeat getting erratic and pain thrusting through his arm.
3. Activities most likely to cause lower back problems and hernia operations: Moving furniture or twisting his back as he juggles a heavy suitcase into the backseat of a two-door car (or behind other suitcases in a trunk); or trying to carry a IV or a computer up a down staircase; or moving the refrigerator or some file cabinets; or moving tables at a church event or picnic.
4. Assembly: Mail-order products, toys, bikes, furniture, bookcases, beds; putting up kids’ plastic pools, backyard tents.
5. Barbecuing: Shopping for barbecue, charcoal, propane; basting, marinating, cooking; cleaning up of grill, tongs, ashes, etc.
6. Bodyguard: at home (e.g., who usually checks it out in the middle of the night when you and your partner are awakened by a noise that sounds like someone has just broken into your home, and you know they could have a gun?); in public places (who plays bodyguard when nightfall turns a beautiful park into a dangerous park or a quaint side street into a dangerous alley; or when a lonely hiking trail proves to be a rattlesnake haven; or when a ski slope becomes an avalanche?). We've all read stories of a man saving a woman from a burning house or a raging river or a crashed car. Women often save children in these situations—and even lift cars to save children. Although I’ve asked over a million people (on IV and radio) to send me a story of a woman risking her life to save an adult man, so far, no stories. Every time a woman and man walk together in a public place, he unconsciously serves as an unpaid bodyguard.
7. Camping: It starts with taking psychological responsibility for avoiding disaster (checking weather predictions and safety of the location, buying correct tent and camping gear, taking responsibility for not getting lost, knowing how to use a compass, etc.), then carrying the primary backpack (often including the stove and a kerosene lamp), erecting the tent, dig¬ ging drainage trenches, gathering firewood, building the fire, hoisting food away from animals. The man is often the camping home buyer, home mover, and homemaker.
8. Car buying: Price negotiation, Consumer Guide/Blue Book- type research.
9. Car maintenance and repair: Checking hoses, belts, tire pressures, vacuuming inside, applying Armor All; comparisons of prices with mechanics, tire changing (see also Emergencies).
10. Carpentry: From putting up shelves (in garage, basement, and closets) to repairing loose fence slats, to making bookcases, to building a doghouse.
11. Christmas: Putting up lights on house and tree; tree purchase, set-up, dismantling and disposal; retrieving boxes of ornaments from dusty attic or storage area.
12. “Male cleaning”: Car washing (and waxing); cleaning all painting tools for reuse (brushes, rollers, pans, guides); cleaning out the basement, attic, fireplace and gutters (the darkest, dirtiest, hottest and coldest parts of the house); cleaning filters of air conditioning and heating units; cleaning yard; bathing of dogs; and, if there’s a pool or Jacuzzi. . . . (See also: Barbecuing; Diaper Changing, Male Equivalents of; Guns and Weapons; Activities most likely to break. . . . )
13. Coaching-as-child care: Baseball (1-Ball, CAP Leagues, Little League), softball (e.g., Bobby Soxers), football (Pop Warner), roller hockey, field hockey, ice hockey, soccer; more informal coaching-as-child care via "playing together” in basketball, or throwing, catching, and hitting a ball; instructions in individualized sports such as tennis; instructions in self- defense (aikido, boxing, wrestling).
14. Computer buying: Researching best hardware and software; comparing prices, new vs. used markets, etc.
15. Confrontations—with neighbors or strangers: “Go tell the neighbors their dogs barking too loud.” Or, you’ve just gotten into a car accident with a stranger; who approaches the other driver when everyone is emotionally off center?
16. Dead animal disposal: DAD quickly comes to mean Dead Animal Disposer when the gerbil dies, the rat’s been trapped, when the mouse has been lead into temptation, or when the dog’s been run over and the street has blood all over. What’s worse for some dads, though, is having to kill the almost-dead animal—when DAD means Dying Animal Disposer.
17. Decks: Building, sanding, staining, sealing.
18. Diaper changing, male equivalents of: Plunging a backed-up toilet; wiping up a child's vomit when carsick on a vacation; cleaning up after dog doo from own dog and neighbors'.
19. Digging: Holes and ditches, removing of boulders, tree stumps, etc.
20. Dinner when company’s visiting: Meat carving, wine opening, cocktail making (careful guys, most women still do most everything else when company's visiting).
21. Disciplining of kids: "Wait till Daddy comes home."
22. Dragon-killing—modern version: Swatting flies, stepping on roaches, squishing spiders—all without a sword (or, for pacifist performers, removing the spider without hurting it!).
23. Driving: To and from functions that both sexes go to together, especially when conditions are hazardous (e.g., when caught in rush hour in a strange city; when caught in snow on an icy mountain road; when caught in heavy rain, wind, and fog at night, or when in a foreign country), or when both are exhausted or have had a bit too much to drink; on long trips, especially late at night while the family sleeps; or on a motorcycle (have you ever seen a woman on a motorcycle with a man hanging on?). The automobile and motorcycle are the modern-day white horse. Like the man on the white horse, his role involves more accidents; the man on the white horse, though, never had to worry about a DU I citation!
24. Emergency prevention: In home (e.g., noticing and repairing frayed wires, plugs, sockets, smoke detectors); in car (putting chains on tires; being certain all the cars' fluids [oil, transmission, anti-freeze] are being changed on schedule, tool kit and flares are adequate, flashlight has batteries, etc.); via nature (battening down windows, putting sand bags in the trunk before a blizzard, making sure trees aren't creating a hazard to house or people should a storm arise), on the town (making sure there’s cash in the wallet and gas in the car).
25. When emergencies arise despite prevention: Sandbagging; changing a tire on a cold night in the rain on a dangerous part of the road in the bad part of town; taking the walk for five gallons of gas when the car runs out; or risking putting the battery cable on the wrong side of the battery.
26. Post-emergencies: Roof repair (shingles, holes, leaks, etc.); removal of fallen trees and branches; rebuilding and repairing after damage; or arranging for, supervising and helping with rebuilding and repair.
27. Fences: Building fences from stone or wood, or installing a wire fence.
28. Fire building, wood chopping and carting wood indoors while not getting the carpet dirty.
29. Garbage: Real men take out the garbage because, you see, it's in their genes to know how to use the garbage can cover as a shield should anything happen in that journey from the castle to the street. If he takes out the recycled items and the garden waste, it’s just because he wants to protect his turf of being the garbage man (excuse me, waste management engineer).
30. Gas/electric failures: Resetting clocks and circuit switches; relighting pilot lights; troubleshooting.
31. Gift-giving as a contribution to maintaining the romance: We often say men aren’t romantic, but we forget that it is men who are more likely to give the flowers she likes; the diamonds with the right 4 Cs (carat size, clarity, cut and color [then he worries about the 5th C—cost]); the earrings with the hypoallergenic studs; the perfume with the scent she prefers; the right-size ring for the correct finger with the right stone and her preferred cut; or to choose a restaurant that fits her definition of romantic, arranging the occasion, taking her there, and paying. Many a man has never had even one of these things done for him by even one woman one time (just as some women have never had a man do their laundry, cook a meal, or even make a cup of tea).
32. Guns and weapon: Purchase, cleaning, usage, and safety for protecting family from thieves in city and from animals in rural areas.
33. Hanging: Of heavy pictures, wall hangings, clocks, phones (especially when molly bolts, toggle bolts, or drywall or plastic anchors are necessary)
34. Installation/hook-up: Of washer, dryer, computer, TV, cables, and antennas.
35. Life insurance: Purchasing and choice of carrier.
36. Risky investment management (stocks, joint ventures, rental property): The investments that inspire blame when they fail and induce stress even when they succeed.
37. Opening: Jars, doors, big boxes, paint cans, windows that are stuck or frozen.
38. Option generating: In many couples, the man generates the options, the woman generates the rejections. For example, he asks, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” She answers, “Anywhere.” “Chinese?” he offers. “We just had that,” she reminds. “Italian?” “loo heavy.” “How about that new place—what's its name?” he tries. “I hear that's expensive.” When it comes to restaurants and to movies, the man often generates the options and the woman often selects even immediately after she's said, “It makes no difference.” Option-generating often involves having one's ideas rejected, which can be emotionally taxing.
39. Painting: Inside and outside of the home, and the laying down of masking tape, sheets, and other painting preparation (See also: Male cleaning and Activities most likely to break an arm . . . ).
40. Patio and sidewalk making: And sealing over cracks, requiring cement mixing, building of frame, making it level, and living with every mistake because it's “laid on concrete.”
41. Planting: New trees, bushes, larger plants.
42. Plastering, spackling, grouting, caulking, and mortaring: And creating the plaster, spackle, grout and mortar mixtures.
43. Poisons, exposure to: Use of insecticides to spray for ants and roaches; or to spray trees, flowers, garden vegies.
44. Programming: The VCR (“Honey, before we leave, I can't miss the special on male housework; would you program the VCR?”), or the CD player, the telephone speed dial.
45. Pumping gas, paying for gas, changing oil: When there's both a man and woman in the car, I notice men pump the gas about 80 percent of the time in Northeast 8c West Coast urban areas and university towns, and almost 100 percent of the time anywhere else.
46. Reading the business and financial pages: To get a feel for business trends that may affect career decisions and information related to investment decisions (which may just look like him “goofing off reading the paper” but is the equivalent of a woman reading recipes in Better Homes & Gardens or Family Circle [still the best selling magazines to women]). On the other hand, guys, the sports pages don't count!
47. Remodeling: Taking down walls, putting in windows, finishing garage or basement, and, for better men than I, building entire new rooms.
48. Repairs: Toilets, faucets, plumbing, electrical, window screens, sliding glass and screen doors, problems with cabinets, doors, etc.
49. Sharpening: Knives, mower blades, pruning shears.
50. Shopping for: Paint, hardware, lumber, spackle, lawnmower, tools, much of the "bulk” shopping (Office Depot, Home Depot, Price Club, CostCo, etc.) (See Also: Computer buying; Car buying; Stereo aTid video buying; and Life insurance, for additional "Male Shopping” categories)
51. Stereo and video buying: Hooking up, troubleshooting, repair arranging, and supervising.
52. Toy and bike care: Oiling, painting, and fixing kids' bikes, swing sets, jungle gyms, merry-go-rounds, and other outdoor play equipment.
53. Weather guard: Guarding a woman against exposure to rain, sleet, and snow by forfeiting his jacket to a woman who is cold even when he is also cold; walking between a woman and a street in which cars and trucks might splash water or slush onto their clothes; scraping ice and snow off a car windshield on a freezing morning; dropping the family off at a restaurant or movie when it's pouring, then parking and walking to the restaurant or theater in the rain (especially if no one has an umbrella); warming up the car before the family gets in it; bringing in the newspaper on a rainy morning; salting the driveway, sidewalk, and stairs when the rain has frozen over, so that if anyone falls, he does .‘(See Also: "Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks” and "Emergency” categories).
54. Yard work: Lawn mowing, fertilizing, weeding, clipping, leaf raking, tree trimming, etc.
So if men do all this, why don't we know about it? In part because instead of complaining, men offer to carry the luggage, barbecue, build the shelves, or shop for the stereo. And in part because we perform our roles unconsciously, as with our bodyguard role; it's hard to complain about that of which we're unconscious. Complaining is the shadow side of consciousness. But men were secretly hoping for the lighter side: appreciation and love . . . but someone took the appreciation and love out to the garbage.
Hopefully this list destroys some myths that create anger toward men, and creates instead some of the following understandings.

PROLOGUE

Who this is for

This guide is intended for women and other people who are looking to "pass" as feminine-presenting. I 100% acknowledge that not everyone wants or cares about passing or fitting into societal norms. If you don't, I hope that you will help pass on this information to women who do.

Medical transition

This guide is centered around actions, dress and appearance. I will not discuss surgery.
I will mention that being on the appropriate HRT dose for a long enough time makes massive changes to both your physical appearance and way of thinking and those changes can be gradual and often take over a year to have a significant cumulative effect in many people. I have personally seen many people who changed a LOT in years 2 and 3 who had trouble passing in year 1. I also strongly recommend injections for people that want to do monotherapy but aren't seeing enough results via other methods. I saw massive changes in just 6 months of injections even after having been on pills for over a year.
Also, if you are skinny, please please please gain some weight once your E levels are in the right place. The fat will go to all the right places and it will feminize your figure. I've gotten compliments from many women who knew me throughout transition telling me that the weight gain is really feminizing.

Womanhood

One of the most important things to understand about womanhood is that ALL women are CONSTANTLY being judged and evaluated. Women also experience hardships, discrimination and the challenges of assumed responsibility (both for themselves and others around them) throughout life that are impossible to fully understand until experienced first-hand. This commonality spans across every age, background, race, religion, geographic location, etc. etc. Women inherently understand this from childhood and it is impressed and reinforced through daily life, interactions and media.
Understanding that is important because "passing" largely boils down to appearing and acting in a way that fits within the expectations of the context in which you are presenting yourself. The way that women act, present and dress are all the result of a lifetime of societal pressure and constant micro-aggressions and "corrections" enforced upon them by their peers and social circles.
In a nutshell, most women in public have been taught to dress to avoid the attention of creepy men and the condescending looks of other women alike while still appearing effortless.

Consequences of breaking the norm

There are, of course, many women who act, present and dress in counter-cultural ways (goth, alt, punk, etc. or even dressing up hyper-femme Barbie-core going grocery shopping) but they inevitably are subject to increased scrutiny and attention both at a conscious and subconscious level by men and women alike. So, even though lots of women do this, be aware that doing so can be counterproductive to the goal of strictly passing and usually make passing harder if you are already challenged. The more attention someone receives, the more likely they are to be criticized or "clocked". Remember that ALL women are subject to this scrutiny.

GUIDE

Dress

Women tend to dress in a manner that is deemed appropriate for their age, race, location, situation, etc. When deciding on a wardrobe, it's important to take all of these factors into account.
Dress is all about fitting in and wearing what every other woman around you is wearing. Where I live, most of the year that is likely jeans and a casual top and shorts in summer or hot/humid areas. In winter sweatpants are normal as well. Just look around you at the places you frequent and get style ideas from the women around you.The first time that I ever male-failed, I had short hair (only a few months into transition) and all I was wearing was women's sweats and a women's fitted crew neck shirt (it looked like any other black T-shirt, just fitted and women's cut). No makeup or anything else. I had every expectation that people assumed I was male but then I talked to a woman and she was genuinely shocked when I had a male voice. It's because I was dressed just like any other woman who was doing errands (I was just picking up an order at a store on a cold day in winter).
If you are new to this, you'll also find that finding a style that is both yours and works well complimentary to your proportions will not happen overnight unless you were lucky enough to transition early and/or have good model-like proportions to begin with. It's also important to understand that ALL women have issues finding clothes that work well with their bodies and various items are always a struggle. Trust me, all of my friends have the same issues we do with our bodies and how clothing fits and looks.
Also, when starting out, I highly recommend starting with cheap clothes, hand-me-downs and thrifting until you are able to figure out what looks good on you. Know that clothes that look great on models in professional photos won't look as good on you (or anyone else except models for that matter). Also know that your body will change with HRT over time and things that don't look good on you at first may look better on you 1-2 years later. I also highly recommend online shopping at places with an easy return policy because I guarantee that you'll want to try on a ton of different styles. I end up returning way more than half the stuff I buy. I once returned an entire $200 order from Shein (boo) because I hated how they fit... and that's a lot of different articles of clothing. But... that's the level of experimentation that it takes most people to really figure out what works for them. So don't get discouraged if the first 10 things you try on don't work.
Absolutely DO NOT spend $200 on a single dress or any item of clothing in your first 6 months of transitioning. You're almost entirely guaranteed to hate it and/or quickly grow out of it or find things you like better later on anyway. Most of the money you spend on clothing (and makeup too for that matter) your first 6 months to a 1 year end up being sunk cost. Even if you do find something that looks really good on you early on, women's clothing styles change quickly and it may be out-of-fashion the next year anyway and you need to experience the change in fashion trends first-hand to understand it. It took me a full 2 years to really find a style and multiple outfits where I truly felt confident and sexy and pass enough to start investing in more expensive things.
Dresses - many people who are new to womanhood are very excited to wear frilly dresses. This is 100% understandable after having spent years being denied this. However, in the context of passing, it is important to note that in general daily life in most Westernized countries, women rarely wear dresses on a day-to-day basis, especially any dress seen as being "dressy", "flashy" or "sexy". For the most part, those types of dresses are only worn out in certain locations and occasions - such as going to a nice dinner or to prom, for example. Dresses that are worn more casually tend to have a more simplistic and casual aesthetic about them and even then are relatively uncommon. It's also very important to note that even when worn in an appropriate circumstance, wearing a dress will almost always generate more attention than not, especially from men but also from other women.
From personal experience, I've found that I'm far more likely to be clocked wearing a dress than simply wearing jeans and a top. When I wear jeans and a low-cut top, men will break their necks looking at my chest while women will just passively ignore me (in the good way that most women pass by others in public). I rarely wear dresses anymore except at home to be comfortable.
High-rise pants and shorts - I know that these are slowly going out of trend but EMBRACE THEM NOW. Men's clothing basically sits on their hips but a woman's waistline is MUCH higher. The natural waist on a woman is above her belly button. High-rise clothing does a lot for you: It raises your hips and waistline which in turn make your torso shorter. It will also snatch your waist and help define your figure (the higher the better if you want the snatched waist). Mid-rise and Low-rise bottoms are absolutely the bane of existence for people with longer torsos and boxy figures. If you have a long torso, mid-rise will look like a low rise. Low rise will greatly exaggerate your torso length and do nothing for your figure. Only people with the best bodies naturally will look good in it. It took me well over a year to finally figure this out and I guarantee it elevates the appearance of the vast majority of us. I've basically thrown out all the mid-rise stuff I bought early on now.
Cropped and short tops - This goes hand-in-hand with wearing exclusively high-rise stuff. The higher the rise you wear, the shorter the top you can get away with without showing a bunch of skin (unless you want that and can pull it off). This also greatly feminizes your figure by making your torso smaller.
Tops for wide shoulders & chests:

• If you have wide shoulders, try V-necks and sweetheart necklines. "Breaking up" the width of your chest/neckline will make your shoulders appear less broad.
• You can also wear longer necklaces like a Y/lariat necklace to: break up the width of your chest, draw attention to your breasts and draw attention away from your throat.
• Avoid crew necks on almost anything. They generally have a masculinizing effect, at least on me. Also if you are self-conscious about an adam's apple, it will focus more attention there as well.
• Some people are able to pull-off halter tops by breaking up the front-center of their chest but be aware that halters make your shoulders look broader from behind especially and so it's hard to pull off for many women. Women in general who have broad shoulders are often self-conscious about them.
• AVOID: Camis and spaghetti straps. They exaggerate shoulders and can be hard to pull off unless you have slim shoulders.
• In fall and winter, bigger jackets can hide wider shoulders. Bomber jackets are pretty timeless and this past winter oversized jackets were really trending. Avoid spending a lot on jackets though unless you live somewhere cold because this area of fashion tends to change very quickly each year and most trending jacket styles last 2 years at most. So try to keep to more timeless styles if you don't like buying a new jacket literally every year.

Styling and dressing on-trend:

• If you are younger, or want to appear slightly younger, or even just more put together, try to dress "on trend". This means that if you're in highschool through college, look at how models at Forever 21, Tillys, etc. are dressed. If you are in your 20-40s, Old Navy has good styles if you want to fit in with your age but still look on the youngetrendier side and like casual outfits. If you want to go for a dressieclassier look, look at places like Express. You can also follow a lot of fashion influencers on social media and take a look at what all the trendy boutique stores sell. Just to be clear, you don't need to actually shop at any of those places - just take a look at how the models are dressed / styled and try to mimic the styles that appeal to you the most. Be careful with a lot of influencers though as a lot of them don't dress in a way on social media that is typical for people living their daily lives.
• Remember that every aspect of your clothing inherently contains social indicators of what class and age you are portraying (or attempting to portray). For example, shorter shorts skew younger and long inseam shorts skew oldemore conservative. Nice jewelry (like thin gold and silver) skews classier but playful plastic, chunky or cheap jewelry skews younger.Purses - For well over a year, I completely avoided carrying a purse but have since gotten over it and have come to love them and collect them. Cishet guys simply never have a purse unless they are carrying their partners and so wearing one is a strong visual cue of femininity and will subconsciously read femme at further distances. I personally think that a shoulder bag has the most effortlessly feminine profile but cross-bodies are trending right now - just get one that is feminine and not utilitarian looking (like the black nylon ones which look kind of like messenger bags a guy might use).

Shoes - All the normal rules of fitting in apply here as well. Unless you've mastered being a bad bitch, don't wear stilettos grocery shopping (see my entire diatribe above). Just wear what everyone else is wearing although if you are on-trend you can pull off 2-3" block heels, sandals, wedges, espadrilles, etc. in a lot of casual circumstances as those are seen as a dressed up casual look. Just make sure it's cohesive with the rest of your 'fit and appearance.

Breasts

This is a mix between dress and HRT/medical transition. However, having visible natural breasts (or good implants if you go that route) is massively feminizing and corrects for a large number of other deficiencies.
I always like to tell people: "when you have obvious breasts, men don't have enough blood going to their brain to misgender you".
If you are not gifted, I recommend looking into padded push-up bras. The VS Bombshell (there are also off-brand dupes for cheaper) changed my life. Using the typical +3/+4 bra sizing method, I'm a 38 AAA. However, a bombshell bra makes it look like I have B/C cups and combined with a low sweetheart neckline top, I have visible cleavage and tan lines and I never get misgendered in that outfit. Men get creepy and literally just stare at my chest and body (which has its own problems but is far better than getting misgendered IMO).
Once again, don't purposely go crazy here or anything and avoid looking like you're trying too hard. All you need to do is visibly "prove" that you have some real cleavage and that alone is enough for a lot of people to gender you correctly.

Walking, Sitting and Standing

Compared to men, women have a different gait and stance. Men are more likely to stand, sit and walk with their legs further apart despite the fact that there isn't much difference in hip width. The primary reason why is simply that natal men have a princess wand between their legs. HRT will help with this to some degree. Tucking will also help with this. SRS will also massively help with this. I talked to one woman who said that after SRS she was gendered correctly almost all the time just from the difference in how she walked.
Walking - Aside from that, when thinking about the width of your stance and your walk, picture how you'd walk if you had nothing there (assuming you do). For example, your thighs would be more likely to touch (this is also why women talk about thigh chafing BTW). When I walk, I try to use a width that intentionally results in my thighs touching at each step... just a little (I have a slim build). This alone greatly feminizes your walking profile. As you walk your feet should land within a width of 1 foot or less if you are walking in a straight line. You don't need to walk in a strict line or cross over as you walk unless you are on a runway; most women don't walk like that IRL.
Sitting - Unless you are going for a masc lebian vibe, entirely avoid sitting with your legs spread and also don't do the male leg cross thing either. Women are taught not to sit like that from a very early age. I made the mistake of doing this out of habit once early in my transition and it *instantly* clocked me.
Standing (lower body) - Also, when you are standing idle (like in a line), remember to consciously keep your legs closer together. If you're used to having a wide stance when standing, you'll need to mentally retrain yourself to take up a smaller footprint. If it helps, think about how you'd stand if you needed to pee. Once again, I intentionally make my thighs touch. Men don't usually stand like that so it's a feminine cue.
Standing (upper body) - Men tend to cross their arms often when standing and are more likely to have functional pockets on their clothing so are more likely to put their hands or thumbs in their pockets. Women usually stand with their arms generally feeling idle and relaxed, even when an arm is bent such as wearing a purse at your elbow. Women almost never are standing around with their hands in their pockets. Women also have far more relaxed wrists. When your arm is bent, just let your wrist relax and fall naturally but don't try to purposely exaggerate it. Men are taught specifically to not have relaxed wrists (thanks homophobia) so doing so is a feminine trait as well as long as you don't go out of your way to do it. It just has to appear natural.
Pace - Men also tend to walk faster, in part due to often being taller, so just walk 10-20% slower and more deliberately. If you're walking behind other women, match their pace and try to remember it.
Heel Strike - Men also usually have a heavier heel strike when walking. In comparison to a feminine walk, it comes off as almost "clunky". Practice landing on your heel softer. One way you can practice is to start by walking on your tiptoes and then slowly ease into a soft walk. Picture how a dancer walks. Picture how you'd walk if you were passing by some unaware zombies. You want your footsteps to be gentler and quieter all around. Also, I recommend that every woman learn how to walk in heels. Not huge heels, just a 2-3" heel will do. This is because that same foot position will teach you how to walk with your heels raised. Walking in heels is sort of like walking on your tiptoes - that's how I pictured my feet when I first learned. Heels are also pretty in general if you are okay with gaining a few inches when you put them on.

Makeup

If you haven't already caught on to a major theme here - makeup also needs to fit in with what is common in your area and for your demographic. For example, most women in highschool and college wear minimal makeup, if they wear makeup at all. Showing up to class in full face/full glam is sure to get looks no matter who you are. The women who do full face on a regular basis have usually mastered makeup and do the "no makeup makeup look". In day-to-day life makeup should be casual and generally look like you're not trying too hard.
Wearing a lot of makeup also ages you in the sense that people who are perceived as wearing a full face are perceived as being older. No foundation is a youthful look and will make you look like a younger person even if foundation does, objectively, even out your skin. If you do really need foundation for any reason, strive for the no makeup look.
The handful of times that I went in public with a full face, I always got looks and inevitably clocked. I've found that almost always, unless you've mastered No Makeup Makeup, less is more. Which brings me to:
Lashes and Brows - If there is a single type of makeup that someone does, it is almost always brows or lashes or both. Women of trans experience usually have these issues around their eyes: canthal tilt, smaller and more narrow eyes and bushy uncontrolled brows. Fortunately, all of these things are easily fixable. Mascara, lashes or lash extensions (don't get too gaudy with lashes BTW) will have the effect of rounding out your eyes and making them bigger as well as masking your natural canthal tilt. Bushy and unaddressed brows look masculine or at the very least like you don't care so I highly recommend learning how to do your brows (or just get them professionally done or microbladed). Also, men have a smaller distance between their eyes and brows but most women pluck/style their brows to bring them up. This is all very easily addressed. Good brows will also bring your face up in a feminine way. If plucking/waxing, focus on only removing from the bottom to raise your brows. Excess plucking on the top will usually result in bringing them down too much and also likely end up too thin over time.
Eyeliner - I generally recommend against wearing eyeliner on a casual basis unless you are going to an event or for a specific look. Most women don't wear it at all on a daily basis.
My entire daily makeup routine consists only of some light concealer where needed, lashes and brows and can be done as quickly as 15 minutes and I get gendered correctly almost always compared to any heavier or full face looks I've done in the past.
The exception to this advice is that if you have beard shadow, you'll likely need an orange color-corrector over the shadow and might need a light application of full face foundation or BB or CC cream to even it all out. Electrolysis will greatly help with this but can easily take a full year before you can go without.
If you have redness or reddish hyperpigmentation, a green color-corrector will fix that.

Talking

So, obviously, voice therapy is the #1 thing here. Most people start by focusing entirely on pitch but it's also important to remember that the way that speech is gendered also relies a lot on things like tone and cadence. Women also speak more clearly and are less likely to stutter, etc. as women are generally perceived as having to be better communicators. If you have issues with talking too fast/etc in general, it's best to slow down and enunciate. The cadence and flow of feminine speech also is more.. musical and sing-songy with a more dynamic range of pitch whereas a lot of men speak in a very monotone way.
Compared to men, women in casual conversation rarely speak over other people talking or interrupt them (although this varies culturally so just follow the general way people speak in your region). Even though lots of men do it all the time, it's often perceived as rude/bitchy when women do it.A couple other tips that have been given to me by voice therapists and others: in feminine speech, usually the pitch is elevated at the end of each sentence/statement and sometimes even throughout a sentence - sort of like how you would ask a question. Also, vowels are brighter and the S sound is a little longer. For example, picture being asked a Yes/No question and answering yes. Instead of saying, "Yes", picture saying "Yess" (don't drag it out unnaturally though) or you can say "Yeah" and elevate your pitch the last half of the word.
Quick exercise: picture the masculine and feminine differences in the simple phrase: "Hey! What's up?!" In the feminine version, pitch goes up with each word and the phrase is more like "Heyyy! What'ss up?!" The vowel sounds are all longer and brighter and the pitch melodically sing-songs upwards.
Daily vocal warm ups: I know that everyone has their own phrases and ways to warm up but personally the thing that I've found that single-handedly puts my pitch in the right starting point is counting from 1 to 3. You can count 1 to 13 if you're doing a longer warm-up session or early in the learning phase but if I need to jump into femme pitch very quickly (like when making a phone call) I'll just count 1 to 3 while the phone is ringing and my voice is in the right place by the time the person answers the phone.
Adjusting/raising pitch mid-convo: One issue I sometimes have is that especially in longer conversations, my pitch can sometimes slide down over time to a lower pitch. When I catch this happening, a way that you can reset in the middle of the conversation is purposely dragging out certain common phrases and lifting the pitch as you say it:

• Ummm...
• Soooo...
• Yeahh...
• Wellll...

These are all single syllable words that you can practice your pitch with (both alone and using tools like the Voice Pitch Analyzer app) and because they are "filler" words you can easily insert them into casual conversation as a way to hear where your own pitch is and raise it up as you're saying the word. In fact, "M" sounds were one of the original warm-up exercises that my vocal coach taught me so saying "ummm" is a very natural reset word.