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2023.05.28 15:40 mariedel123 How to stop being anxious about University. Please advice!!

Hey all, For context I’m 18F (just turned 18) and last year completed my final year of school. After working really hard all year I got into my dream course, being law at one of Australia’s top unis. Last year was really difficult for me, and took a huge toll on my mental health. I’d been previously battling anxiety since 2020 covid lockdowns, but this was a whole new level. Along with doing my final year of school and having to perform at an A+ average, my grandfather who had been battling cancer died 3 days before my first exam. In fact, I had to bury him and then go straight back to school to revise with my teacher before one of my exams. Safe to say this was a low point in my life. I was drinking every night, and the doctor had even prescribed me Valium, which for someone of my age (17) was practically unheard of. Anyways, fast forward to January 2023 and I was in an amazing headspace. I won’t say I’d fully grieved, as I never will, but I managed to get myself off antidepressants, and my anxiety was basically at zero. I had a great summer, until about 2 weeks before University started. Then the anxiety came trickling in. Like bad. So bad I had to get back on lexapro after a 2 month hiatus to attempt to settle myself before starting law school. I lasted a total of 4 weeks before I decided to defer. I just couldn’t handle it. Work wise I was fine, but mentally I was having a panic attack every morning at the thought of going into uni. I’d have to take a beta blocker to even get me through the day. So I decided I needed a break from study. This was back in March, and we’re now in late May. I’m currently planning to go back for the second semester of uni which starts in late July, but I feel all of a sudden like my anxiety is slowly creeping back. I’m on 15mg of lexapro which has been doing a fairly good job of keeping me in check, but I sense the nerves coming back, even though I don’t have to enrol for a while still. My question is what the **** should I do? My theory, along with my therapist’s is that I now associate an educational context with the passing and traumatic time of my grandfather seeing as I was at school when I got the news? Or maybe I put too much pressure on myself to perform. Anyways, for the life of me I cannot figure out why this is freaking me out so much. Worth noting that in my short time at the uni I actually really liked the environment and the people, but my anxiety was absolutely relentless.
I would just like some advice or even any perspectives on how to attempt to reshape my approach and attitude towards uni, seeing as I really do want to get back to studying!
submitted by mariedel123 to lexapro [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:39 WaltMacFloppy Is there any hope for me or is fate decided?

Playing as Bohemia, and slowly working my way up forming West Slavia. I am also trying to collect achievements, but without ironman mode, so I don't mind save scumming. But the best thing could have happened, one of my vassels had a claim on the whole kingdom of Poland. But the damn vassel dies before i win the war around 70% of warscore. I saved before the war, so is there anyway i can win the war faster before he dies or to keep him alive a little longer while i win the war? As far as I'm aware, he's not fighting in the war, just a sick man.
submitted by WaltMacFloppy to CrusaderKings [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:39 Glad-Mousse-7298 With Gf but feel unloved and not good enough.

23M Have been talking and going out with this girl since the end of January. Lost counts of dates and we text everyday.She's my girlfriend now ,wonderful girl in all aspects and we get along really well.
But taking and hanging out with her for the past months and we only kiss when I drop her home and only hold hands.Thats all we've done and noting really else intimate.We hug but never just cuddled or slept together. Neither have our own place and she still hasn't introduced me to her parents.At an earlier stage she said she wanted to be comfortable with me.
Wouldn't person like to have sex with you if they loved you.She is shy and doesn't intiate things,also said she's hasn't had a boyfriend before.I don't want to touch her inappropriately incase she just doesn't like it.Just feel unloved physically sometimes and kinda stuck.
submitted by Glad-Mousse-7298 to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:36 Turbulent-Egg-3824 I just realized why travel tends to affect my body image

My husband and I have been traveling every 3-6 months since the pandemic and traveled before that. Well I had started noticing a pattern where I really get hit with a ton of negative body feelings during travel. The negative "I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat, OMG I'm old, my skin is sagging, I look like crap" REALLY kicks up during travel.
I had chalked this up to the fact that when I travel, I'm off my normal eating, exercise, and skincare patterns and I tend to eat a lot more during travel. Well my husband and I were traveling last week and it hit me out of nowhere that there are a lot of mirrors in hotels. At the place we just stayed at, there were mirrors inside every elevator, a big mirror on each floor in front of the elevator doors, a giant mirror in front of the desk in our hotel room that I had to keep staring at as I worked (I worked out of the hotel room while my husband was at his conference) a big full length mirror on our closet door, and a big mirror in the bathroom.
That all adds up to a lot more mirrors than I encounter at home. Plus, I also noticed that a lot of these hotel mirrors are not the best quality and often located under harsh, unflattering light. So I'm getting a lot of glimpses of myself that look a bit distorted and get me constantly thinking "Is that really what I look like?"
Add that to being out of my normal environment and eating a lot more, and my self image really takes a huge plunge during travel. When we were traveling, I had stepped down the street for a wonderful beignet at this adorable French café and had such a lovely time. Then I got back to my hotel and started feeling guilty about the calories I had consumed, and that just ruined my good memories of the café.
But once we got back home and I wasn't seeing constant mirrors and got back into my routine, the negative body talk really died down. I didn't have that "I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat" commentary running in my head like I did on the trip.
I was wondering if anyone else has noticed similar body image issues during travel. Now that I'm more aware of it, I'm trying to figure out how I can counter it on our next trip. On this trip we just took, I was seriously thinking of covering up the mirror in our hotel room, and I made an effort to try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror as I walked into the elevator. It really was that bad!
Anyone else dealt with this before?
submitted by Turbulent-Egg-3824 to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:36 MelasD Amelia: The Level Zero Hero Chapter 132

The Clawed Hands got to work.
Giles could already see Kristen and her team doing their part and engaging with the convoy from the flank. Spells and arrows were being flung across the valley as voices shouted and screamed in the distance. But the soldiers from the Kingdom of Kal could barely put up a fight, even though they outnumbered their opponents.
Because Kristen was A-ranked, just like Giles. And the rest of her team were low B-ranks at most. Even if there were only a handful of them, they were more than enough to deal with the first wave of guards protecting the convoy.
Not that they needed to engage in combat for long. Because they were meant to be a distraction— to lure the main bulk of the soldiers from the convoy away from the armored wagon carrying Guildmaster Evan.
“We just have to watch out for Seth the Battlemage,” Giles said as he hopped off a rock, before sliding down the hill. “He’s an A-rank [Mage]. If you see him, just back off. I’ll handle him.”
Both Sylvie and Jaden followed right behind him. Sylvie seemed to glide on the earth as the ground shifted beneath her feet— a result of her spellcasting. Meanwhile, Jaden ran down as fast as he could… only to trip and tumble all the way down.
Giles paused to stare at the boy as he crashed at the bottom of the valley. Sylvie also came to a halt right next to the leader of the Clawed Hands.
“Are you alright, Jaden?” she called out.
And Jaden groaned as he picked himself up from a small crater on the ground. He dusted himself off as he shook his head.
“I’m fine—” he started.
Only to be interrupted as an arrow flew into the back of his head.
“Take this, you brigand!” a soldier shouted as he loosed another flurry of projectiles at Jaden.
But as the second and third arrow landed on Jaden, the soldier paused. His eyes went wide as one after another, the arrows shattered upon impact.
Jaden stumbled back as he spun around with an annoyed look on his face. “That hurt you asshole!”
He picked up one of the broken arrowheads as the soldier turned to run. But before the soldier could get far, Jaden hurled the broken arrowhead with all his strength. And the broken arrowhead short forward so fast like it had been fired from a crossbow.
The soldier slumped over with a gaping hole in his chest as Giles and Sylvie came to a halt right next to Jaden.
The leader of the Clawed Hands smirked as he nodded at the boy. “Good work.”
That was why Jaden was called the Titanium Brute. Thanks to his Skills, it was like his skin was made of metal. He could tank most attacks by lower-leveled individuals unscathed. Even if he did feel a little bit of pain from them.
“Remember, our target is that armored wagon,” Giles said as he nodded up ahead past a group of running guards.
The convoy was in a panic. And the soldiers escorting it were thrown into disarray. Most of them were distracted by Kristen and her team as they took out guard after guard. Only a handful of them even noticed the trio of mercenaries standing at the other side of the convoy.
A group of soldiers paused as a [Mage] raised a wand and pointed at Giles. They let out a war cry, before charging forward as the [Mage] supported them with a volley of spells. Giles took a step forward as he nodded at Sylvie.
“Do your thing,” he said.
“Right— [Mass Sleep]!” She pointed at the charging soldiers.
She was a [Sorceress]. That meant she was capable of casting rather unusual spells that weren’t typically suited for dueling. But right now, her magic sufficed in distracting the soldiers. That was why she was known as the Diverting Dandelion.
Their movements slowed. They grew sluggish, before collapsing on the ground, completely unconscious. But the [Mage] was still awake. He screamed as he hurled a fireball straight at Giles.
The explosion rocked the ground as Sylvie and Jaden winced. However, Giles was no longer standing there. He appeared right next to the [Mage] with a grin plastered on his face. The [Mage] blinked, before spinning around.
And Giles just shook his head. “Don’t even try— you’ve already lost.”
With that, the [Mage] crumpled silently to the ground as blood spurted out of his chest. Giles twirled his dagger in hand as he looked back up to the armored wagon just up ahead. The convoy was starting to take notice of him. Dozens of soldiers moved to intercept him as he started to sprint forward.
“Sylvie, Jaden!” he called out to his companions. “Distract them!”
“Yes, boss!” they replied in unison as they hurriedly trailed after him.
Despite being a pair of young troublemakers who were normally a pain in the ass to deal with, they were very competent in the battlefield. Sylvie slammed a fist onto the ground, causing a localized tremor that shook the landscape. The group of soldiers stumbled and staggered, only for Jaden to ram into them a moment after.
He tore their numbers apart as Giles leapt into the sky. The leader of the Clawed Hands nodded approvingly at the two of them, taking a moment to survey the battlefield. Everything was going according to plan. Now it was up to him to complete the mission.
The [Daggermaster] tossed his dagger down onto the ground right next to the armored wagon. There was a flash of light. Just like when he had recalled the weapon into his hands. But this time, it wasn’t his dagger that was teleporting. It was him.
Giles appeared right next to his dagger as he shook his head. It was an enchantment on the dagger that allowed him to teleport to it, or to teleport it back to him. It was a powerful artifact. And it had earned him the Title of the Flying Blade.
He raised his head to look at the enchantments protecting the armored wagon. It was not going to be easy to break through. Not with his Skills at the very least. But that was why he came prepared.
He produced a scroll from his side as he nodded. He unfurled it, watching as the runes etched on its surface shone. Giles pointed it at the wagon.
“Dispel M—” he started.
And his eyes flickered as he saw a glint coming from the side. Giles leapt back just in time to avoid a blast of frost. He spun around to face a figure clad in ice. His eyes narrowed as he watched the figure step forward.
“Seth the Battlemage,” Giles said as he twirled his dagger. “So you’ve finally decided to join the fray.”
Seth shook his head, raising his staff as it was wreathed in ice. A broadsword of frost was formed at the very tip— about the size of the Battlemage himself. He slowly drew forward, dragging the weapon behind him.
“Oh? It seems you’ve done your research on who I am…” He tilted his head, peering curiously at Giles. “You’re no ordinary brigand, are you?”
The [Daggermaster] just licked his lips in response. “Perhaps— but it does not matter. Because you die here.”
And with that, Giles lashed out with his dagger. He was fast. He reached the Battlemage in an instant, slicing down with a flash of light. It was a Skill— a piercing attack that could have torn apart even titanium.
But the ice armor Seth wore took the brunt of the attack. He stumbled back, grunting as his ice armor collapsed around him. He hefted the frost broadsword and swung it down at the [Daggermaster].
But Giles deftly deflected the attack as he stepped forward. He thrusted out with a flurry of strikes, and the Battlemage raised the broadsword of frost.
The broadsword of frost began to break apart as the attacks whittled it down. Seth was A-ranked, just like the [Daggermaster]. However, the fact was that he was barely into A-rank, and those few levels separating them made a massive difference.
Giles laughed as he swung out once more. This time, he gripped his dagger with both his hands, and he felt a surge of strength flow through him. He slammed the blade against the frost broadsword— and the ice shattered.
Seth staggered forward as his weapon was destroyed. Giles just kicked the Battlemage back against the armored wagon, before striding forward.
“Come on, is that all you’ve got?” the [Daggermaster] asked. “Did you really think you could beat me with that pathetic display?”
The Battlemage chuckled as he looked weakly back up to Giles. “No— but that was enough to distract you.”
And that made the leader of the Clawed Hands pause. “Distract me…?”
Right as the words left his mouth, a powerful explosion rocked the valley. Giles was thrown back from the shockwave, seeing a pillar of smoke rise into the sky. He steadied himself as his brows snapped together.
“What is that?” he asked as he looked up in horror.
“Did you really think we didn’t expect the Adventurer’s Guild to strike back?” Seth asked, getting to his feet.
The dust and smoke began to clear as Giles swept his gaze over his surroundings. He looked on with narrowed eyes, seeing a massive crater just up ahead. Kristen and her team were lying bloodied at the very edge of the blast zone.
“We expected adventurers— but mercenaries like you?” the Battlemage said as he shook his head. “It makes no difference.”
Giles blinked, before hearing a voice cry out in pain behind him. He spun around, watching as both Jaden flew through the air and crashed right at the [Daggermaster]’s feet.
“Jaden!” Giles called out as he rushed to the boy’s side. “What happened?”
“Sorry, boss,” another voice came in reply. Giles glanced back to see Sylvie stumbling forward, clutching her bleeding shoulder. “But I couldn’t distract her…”
“Distract who?” the [Daggermaster] asked as he took a step forward.
But Sylvie collapsed. Giles blinked. He cast his gaze over the battlefield as the realization settled in. The Clawed Hands were defeated with ease— quickly and swiftly, before he could even notice it.
He took a step back as he gritted his teeth. “We’re the Clawed Hands… we’re elites! We’re specialists at our jobs! How…?”
“Well, maybe you aren’t as good at your job as you think you are,” a burly figure said as he walked past Jaden’s fallen body.
“You’re…?” Giles stared with wide eyes. “Rokh the Bludgeoning Striker?”
The [Daggermaster] recognized the burly man in an instant. He was the one who had been placed in charge of the fortress back in Windrip. An A-rank captain who was renowned for his physical prowess.
Giles shook his head as he exclaimed. “That… makes no sense! You shouldn’t be here!”
“Oh? And what made you think I would stay in that backwater city?” Rokh said with a smug look on his face. “I left my lieutenant in charge of that shit place. I’m never returning back there ever again.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Giles snarled. “You’re abandoning Windrip just to transport a single man out of the city?”
Rokh shook his head. “That man is the reason why we’re here in the first place. Unfortunately, our King had other matters to attend to, so he took his leave. The only reason we took so long to follow after him is because we were waiting for her to arrive.”
Giles narrowed his eyes. “Her? Who is—”
And there was a flash of light. He leapt back as he dodged a black beam that cut the ground open. He frowned, looking up at a black-haired girl as she descended from the sky.
The leader of the Clawed Hands paused as he saw who it was. His eyes widened, and his legs shook. He took a step back as he said her name.
“Eloise the Dark Wizard,” he whispered. “S-rank mercenary— what are you doing here?”
She just smiled at him in response. “I have been hired by the [Hero King] himself to ensure that his cargo is safely transported back to his nation. It is a pleasure to meet you, Giles the Flying Blade.”
“That’s…” Giles hadn’t even known that she had been in the city. If he had known that she’d be involved, he wouldn’t have taken this job. He pursed his lips as she glanced dismissively at Jaden and Sylvie.
“I have heard so much about the Clawed Hands— I was excited to see you in action. But…” She shook her head as she covered her mouth. “I must say, you have been nothing but a disappointment.”
Giles ground his teeth together. “Why would the [Hero King] hire an S-rank mercenary to transport a damn guildmaster? Just what is going on?”
“I do not know why my clients hire me,” Eloise said simply as she took a step forward. “I simply complete my task. I am sure you understand that as much as me. That is why—”
She raised a hand, pointing straight at him as his eyes went round. Her fingers cracked with a black electricity as she spoke simply.
“As much as I would love to continue this conversation, I have to annihilate you.”
“No—” Giles protested.
But a blast of dark lightning shot forward as he opened his mouth. He couldn’t even react in time. He winced, raising his dagger protectively. He knew it wouldn’t save him. He knew he didn’t stand a chance against her.
He closed his eyes, waiting for the searing pain. Giles knew that he was as good as dead. He accepted this outcome. He wanted to get over it as quickly as possible. But… death never came.
Giles blinked as he heard the thundering crackle of the dark lightning come and go. He saw the flash of light flicker and dissipate. He looked down at himself, seeing that he was still in one piece.
And he sighed in relief. “I’m… alive? But how—”
He looked back up to see a figure standing before him. A brown-haired woman dressed in strange clothes. His eyes narrowed as he saw an impossibly torn and tattered cloak blowing with the wind behind her. She held a rusty sword in the air, and Giles couldn’t help but stare at her in awe.
Because she deflected the attack with ease. Even Eloise looked on with a surprised look on her face as the brown-haired woman just lowered her blade. Seth frowned, and Captain Rokh peered at her suspiciously.
“Who are you?” Giles asked with wide eyes.
“I’m Amelia,” the brown-haired woman said simply. “And I’m here to save Evan.”

Author's Notes: Just so you know, book 2 is over on patreon and you can read the start of book 3 if you subscribe now :) You can read up to 15 chapters ahead on my patreon here! Join my discord and subscribe to my subreddit! Or follow me on twitter!
Previous Next Read Ahead on my Patreon
submitted by MelasD to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:35 ManufacturerSafe9404 Kinky BDSM with my cheating BF and the other woman. Did I take it too far ?

I had been dating this guy, for roughly 7 months. Was crazy about him. One day I came over, and we were lounging around together, and someone named Riley called his phone. I asked him who that was, and he said it was his friend who was a guy. I believed him.
Two months or so after that, I got in contact with somebody named Riley, who claimed to be his girlfriend of roughly a year. I am 25, she is 38, and he is 36. I have a toddler, and they both have teenage daughters, who are very close. He lied extensively about his whereabouts to me and her so she asked me to call him with her on three-way, and I did. During this call he continues to deny her existence, and he even took it as far as telling me that he had a death in the family, and he had to go to New York to help his family. In fact, he took her on a family trip with the two of their children. I have never met the daughter, he wanted to wait until we hit a year to make sure I was permanent according to him lol.
He told her that he had to work on Valentine's Day, and Mother's Day, but he, in fact, was with me on Valentine's Day, and spent Mother's Day with me and my son. She even got to hear him telling me that he loves me, and that there's nowhere else that he would rather be, she doesn't exist, just a buddy from work. So the woman gets enraged and tells me to invite him to my house and that she wants to pop up.
I invite him over, and we engage in role-play as we normally do. On this particular night, I was dressed up as a very sexy nurse. He entered the house, and I made him strip naked at the door, I handcuffed him up in a chair in my bedroom. I took his vitals, perform oral sex on him. I teased him for a bit, making him answer questions before uncuffing him and engaging in sex with him. I wildly rode him in the chair. I placed my feet on the pegs on the bottom of the chair using it for positive control. I had a belt around his neck and rode him while I choked him with the belt. I flicked his nipples with my free hand. He stood up out the chair, carrying me to the bed where we engaged in very emotional sex. I told him I would always care about him, and that I just want him to be a better person. He said "I know baby". But I don't think he really knew.
He finished in me, (I'm on BC). We kissed and cuddled for a bit. I almost wanted to call the whole thing off. But kept my word and I recuffed him to the chair to finish my role playing. I owed it to the woman at this point, I clearly was the mistress. She was there before me. She met the daughter. She was older. More established. I did care for him. I know it sounds sick. But I needed that farewell. Emotions were still there, regardless to the fact.
I tie him up and the dynamic changes. I pull out my whip, and my candle wax, and some pins and needles. Fighting back tears, I take a needle and drag it across the bottom of his feet. He clearly was uneasy, I then ask him "do you like this and you want me to keep going?". I had my camcorder going also. I just need your consent. He says "yes baby". I then drip baby oil all over him. And I ask "who is Riley". "What? My buddy from work". I whip him 10 times violently. "Jesus, what the fuck!". I ask him again. And this continues. For about fifteen minutes. "Do you want me to stop?". I ask him. He was welped up, literally shaking in the chair. "Just ease up a bit".
I ask him about the death in the family. He lied again so I dropped candle wax down his legs and back. He moaned. Through all of this he was erect and it took everything in me not to ride it again. This is what we did. We had rough, kinky sex. He would choke me out with items, put me over his legs and whip me, etc. but this time was different. I heard the front door open. "Did you lock the door" he asked. Yes I did". I responded.
I walked up to him. I looked him in his eyes. "I care about you. You're a great father, you pay your taxes, and you take care of your mother. But you have lost your relationship with god. You don't love yourself. And that makes it hard for you to love women properly. I want better for you. I want to see you do better, and become better. Don't let your karma for how to treat women, be passed to your daughter. I hate that I have to be the one to teach you this lesson. I want you to learn from this. Change, and come back and find me." I shed a tear. I kissed him deeply. He looked so dazed. And I walked out the room and passed his woman the whip.
She enters the room. Immediately picks up the hot wax and pours it on him from his head down. He hollers with pain. She then violently uppercut him and began to beat him. He stood up with the chair, and ran out naked with his hands behind his back tied to the chair. I called her when it was over and I apologized for being apart of her pain. She said she was done with him, and disgusted. I told her I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to talk to him for a while. I told her that I would check on her mentally here and there. To see your man like that has to be a lot. There's some childhood sexual abuse that he had disclosed to me that he never told her, and there's things we talked about about his depression and mental health that was hard for me to shake. I had him so vulnerable and let her in to do that, I felt guilty in a sense but my emotions are so mixed.
A week after that she blocked me on everything. She posted a picture in a club with red lipstick on. She either went back, or she can't stand to see the site of me and that reminder. I did send him Versace to his home with a letter. I just wanted to know how much of it was real. I know he's a narcissist, you lied about a death in the family to cheat. You lied and you carried on a affair with me for almost a year. But did you really get molested as child? Was it real to you? The laughing. The bonding. The late nights, and early mornings. Coming to my home playing our favorite song. Showing up to the hospital for me when I had panic attacks. Building a bond with my child. Was all that just for gain? What exactly did you gain? And the fact that she blocked me leads me to believe she went back. But that doesn't erase what we had at all. I'd rather go down as the one who got away. But it's still hurtful.
Okay I'm done.
submitted by ManufacturerSafe9404 to cheating_stories [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:34 jahlayy An oracle in my dream told me I was going to die in roughly 15 years

Hi all, I 27F have a lot of dreams that come true and I have a lot of death dreams that come true as well but this one in particular is a first for me. The other night, an oracle in my dream (I know the woman in real life) told me I was going to die around 35 years old, maybe early 40s (42/43) if I’m lucky from a type of cancer that is caused by something very rare. I asked for more details and the oracle got upset and said “I shouldn’t have told you anything, I’ve had this gift since I was 8 years old but I don’t like using it, it’s not good when I do, but I had to tell you.
I remember feeling a sense of relief knowing I wouldn’t have much longer on earth and that I still had a bit of time I could enjoy left here before I had to leave. I woke up feeling that same relief but I believe it was a message dream because I remember all the details and more details kept coming through stronger as the day went on even though I tried to ignore it.
Does anyone have any ideas on what this dream could mean ? I understand death dreams signal new beginnings but it’s really wierd that it’s telling me I’m going to die at such a specific age and so far away
Anyone had anything similiar ? Thanks!
submitted by jahlayy to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:34 Useful_Entrance6069 [TOMT][Video][early 2000s] Dancing Deer Mascot

I will try to explain this from memory. Sometime in 2016/17 there was one of the videos on Dumb Ways to Die in real life (I'm not sure if that video still exists), basically one part of the video showed a video of a person in a deer or reindeer costume dancing in what was probably a school playground . The video looked like it was from the early 2000s, maybe a little earlier, a large Divx logo appeared on one part. The costume may have belonged to some team, the person was dancing like some kind of break dance and spinning in a circle. I also think that the video may even be somewhere at least before the YouTube era. That's what I remember, I'll try to find that Dumb Ways video, though I think it's been taken down. I hope that some information will be found, I have been looking for that video for a very long time. Maybe something will be found someday.
submitted by Useful_Entrance6069 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:33 ForgottenWell The Shit Shoveler

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of becoming a soldier in the King’s Army. Not for the honor or glory, but because I’m desperate to know how it feels to kill a man.
Unfortunately, God did not bless me with strength or athletic prowess. I knew I’d never be a good soldier. Instead I attended the Royal University, and graduated at the top of my class. I would become an engineer, and develop siege weapons for the King’s Army, so I could kill indirectly.
When I was summoned before the King’s Council, I knew they were going to make me a Royal Engineer for the Army. My dream was about to come true.
Instead, the Council assigned me, “a much more important role.”
Royal Engineer in Charge of Sewage.
Villages were having trouble digging latrines, and a few of their fancier Inns needed Outhouses constructed. It was my job, as ordered by the King, to help the common folk shit and piss without fear of disease.
What did I do to offend God so?
I would have refused, but defying the King was unwise (he’d behead you).
Begrudgingly, I accepted the position, and journeyed to the first village in need of my help.
Every member of this village was either inbred, drunk, or a fool. When I met the owner of the Inn, I found him to be all three.
He met me outside the Inn with a shit-eating grin, and politely greeted me as, “His Majesty’s Shit Shoveler.”
He walked me through the Inn, introducing me to every customer.
“The Royal Shit Shoveler has come to visit!” He said. “This man works for the King! Best Shit Shoveler in all the land!”
Every. Single. Person. Laughed.
One man laughed so hard he couldn’t breath and fell over and hit his head, which made everyone else laugh even harder. Everybody thought the Innkeeper was fucking hilarious.
I’d show them.
I gathered my materials and built an Outhouse for the Innkeeper, but I made sure to carve numerous holes in the ceiling.
When the Innkeeper inquired about the holes, I said they were for ventilation, so it wouldn’t stink in there.
“You really are a Shit Expert!” He said.
The thing about Outhouses is that they need to be airtight.
Because otherwise flies will get in. Flies will lay eggs in the shit. The eggs will hatch in the shit. And when they grow wings they’ll fly out of the shit in search of food.
The Inn has a mighty fine menu. The flies won’t be able to resist. When those flies land on the Innkeepers delicious, hot food, bits of that shit will land there too.
Every person who eats at the Inn will get sick and die, and not know why.
But I’ll know. They’re going to die because they’re shoveling shit into their mouths.
It seems I’ll get to fulfill my dream of killing after all, just not in the way I expected!
submitted by ForgottenWell to shortscarystories [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:33 ASTMVN Help Me Find a Video Game

I remember that the game was short, maybe no longer than an hour long. It was a body horror game about playing as a parasite and growing inside of a human host. The end of the game involved you making a choice, whether to burst out of the victim or to stay inside and die. It was for PC, and I know YouTubers have talked about it before as a disturbing game but I can't find their videos on it.
submitted by ASTMVN to HelpMeFind [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:32 DirtyKurty1 ABS Warranty for Canadian customers. Has anyone used it?

Hi all,
I purchased an ABS computer from Newegg last year in October. About a month ago the graphics card and power supply both died while I was browsing the internet. I contacted Newegg about the computers warranty.
They told me to contact ABS.
I called ABS and they told me that they will email me instructions and that I will need to ship the two parts to them and then they will send new parts after inspecting them.
I called them about 3 weeks ago and so far they haven't sent me any instructions. I called back last week and they said that they are still setting up the system for warranty for their Canadian customers.
They said it should be ready by this week and they still never emailed me.
I am wondering at this point how any Canadian who needed warranty was able to go through with their one year warranty?
I don't really need my computer since I have a laptop and its no rush, but it is annoying how I cant even get this stuff started and it might take months before I can use my computer again.
submitted by DirtyKurty1 to Newegg [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:32 wazzle83 Should I tell her how I feel? What should I do if I don't?

So without getting into specifics, I (M mid-twenties) live and work in a remote community (around ~150 people) where I'll be for another four months (and on top of that literally none of us can leave for another two and a half months). There's a girl here who I've known for nine months now and I'm fairly certain that I've fallen in love with her. She's a really good friend of mine and just generally an incredible person but I've never gotten any indication from her that she has feelings for me. Moreover, I went to work somewhere else for a while and when I returned I found out that she'd started dating a good mutual friend of ours. They've since broken up (and the mutual friend isn't here anymore) but she doesn't know that I know that. Anyway, I've found myself struggling with whether or not I should tell her how I feel. On the one hand, I'm afraid it'll create an awkwardness between us if I tell her and, my romantic feelings for her aside, she's genuinely an amazing person who I would much rather have in my life as a friend than not at all.
The other element is that, given that the community we live in is one where we inhabit in the same building, often go to the same social activities, and typically eat all of our meals together communally (we also have many of the same friends), it'll be hard to avoid her if it creates an awkwardness. Even if I don't tell her how I feel, I still find it hard sometimes to be around her not knowing if she sees me the same way that I see her. I don't know if this comes across as rambly but it's a weird situation and there's no one here that I feel comfortable talking to about this, so I'm just gonna see what strangers on the internet have to say.
Edit: I should be honest and say that the caveat to all of this (and one of the other main reasons I'm afraid of telling her) is that I've never actually told a woman that I have feelings for her before. I've never been in a relationship/gone on a date/so much as kissed a girl and I've also never really felt this way about anyone before.
submitted by wazzle83 to dating [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:30 Akumi770 Potential Final villain of Historia Arc and 5-6 mirrors speculations.

Hello Guys, i already showed this thing in one of my previous topics, but now we have a lot of information and this thing is almost complete, so let me show you its evolution from 1st mirror until today.





Now i present to you some most likely options what this thing is.
1) Symbol Witch, it's possible that this is the rumored Symbol witch, but not a normal one, there is some important information we get from Kagome and Sena's talking, Sena's warned that there is a witch near Sakurako tree, and in this chapter Kagome warned everyone about witch nearby and Mitama finded her, which is some random witch and girls killed it immediately, so if there is really such a powerful witch as symbol nearby the Mitama would definitely feel it, another thing that is against this option, this thing is only evolved after Iroha gained her fragments back, so it's really tied to Iroha. But, there is some things that can support this theory, first is - Iroha was travelled in past and maybe in some time somehow symbol witch infected Iroha and now grows inside her, and since she is inside, her witch aura is cloaked by Iroha's own magic. Another thing against this theory is symbol witch behaviour, she is able to survive for who knows how many centuries, so for her to appear near where all most powerful megukas gathered now is a suicide mission and not fit for her longevity behaviour.
2)Iroha's darkness\demon, It's possible that when Iroha's lost her entire person the curses and impurities that she collected inside wasn't purified, and her magic fused with darkness and brings to life this being, and when fragments returns to her, this darkness just absorbed it's powers and grows. Sena's give us a hints that she won't do anything to Iroha until she fullfill her promise or die, so now no one in control of Iroha's body and this theory is quite possible.
3)Something from the past, When traveled to past Iroha encountered some ancient witch, similar being that infected her body and is responsible for her current condition and let's think that it's like a parasite which drains Iroha's magic and grows and evolve.

Anyway this thing is almost completed, it will be fully restored at June when 5th mirror is added and since,authors speed up the chapters to make it before anniversary it's quite possiblle that "corrupted" Iroha can be a new anni unit. Another thing who is going inside 6th Mirror, i was thinking before that it's either Kagome or Puella Care, but they are near Iroha,Yachiyo too. We already See Union,Tokime,PB,Folklore and the fifth mirror is for Neo Magius, so who is going to 6th?
My own opinion about what is this thing is, i don't know really, i think that it's something we didn't encountered before, but what it's nature is i don't have a answer right now, so i want to hear you thoughts, maybe you noticed something i was missed or you have you own theories about it's identity, i want to hear you comments and arguments below in comments.
submitted by Akumi770 to magiarecord [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:29 KingofJohto Thriving without High Evolutionary. My deck:

Thriving without High Evolutionary. My deck:
Hit my new record this season in infinite pool. Discard is honestly underrated af in my opinion. I rarely lost but when I did, it always seemed to be a pesky discard deck, I was missing some key cards until recently.
It was the final archetype I got around to ‘maining’, dracula is one of the final cards I need to complete it- and recently managed to get ghost rider and modok.
I used sera control week 1 to get infinite and just been messing around farming boosters playing meme decks but since switching to discard- i dont think ill ever play anything else again.
Cant wait for next season so i can finally get drac for free unless he drops before!
Do any of you use discard? I’d love to see some die hard discord decks and theories!
submitted by KingofJohto to MarvelSnap [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:28 shuaidae My New Addiction?

Hello! Before today, I had no idea that OtomeIsekai was a whole thing. I love romance stories and occasionally play otome games so finding out that this was a whole genre and that there was a subreddit made my year.
I came across Death Is The Only Ending For The Villainess (Villains Are Destined To Die) and decided to give it a try. I spent my whole Sunday absolutely devouring every available chapter out there and I can’t wait for the next updates. I love Callisto so much 😤
I would like to read more titles and if anyone has any recommendations, please let me know! I am open to anything but would prefer endings where they live happily ever after or have kids. And no horror or gore, please. I don’t do well with those haha.
submitted by shuaidae to OtomeIsekai [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:26 tyromegrant If you are not a direct Heat or Celtics fan are you rooting for history or against Boston? And why?

Sixers fan here. Hate the Celtics, go Heat. Although I would like to see a 3-0 comeback in the NBA befor I die.
submitted by tyromegrant to nba [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:25 CallMeDogOneMoreTime Clinkz vs Enchantress

How would you play this matchup?
I picked Clinkz first phase, because Pugna got banned. I didn't want to play against Clinkz so i picked him and i got dunked on by this second phase Enchantress pos5. Lane was Clinkz Brew vs Ench Sniper. I went 1/4.
I got the first kill on her by getting close, but then she got return kill because i got greedy for courier. After that the lane was completely inhospitable. I accidentally blocked camp, so i couldnt pull before 2:15. Later on i also died trying to drag. Dragging against her is a bad idea appearently, making a double wave and TPing away seems better.
A lot of mistakes were made. In hindsight my starter items are pretty bad too.
Match ID: https://www.dotabuff.com/matches/7175280062
submitted by CallMeDogOneMoreTime to learndota2 [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:22 Captain-Falchion Based Squadmate in WT Back on May 9th

Based Squadmate in WT Back on May 9th
Nothing to distract you from the Air RB game at hand like a randomly assigned squadmate going off being dangerously based in the chat. It was back on victory day when when this popped up.
submitted by Captain-Falchion to NonCredibleDefense [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:22 jahlayy Had a dream that an oracle told me that I was going to die in roughly 15 years

Hi all, I 27F have a lot of dreams that come true and I have a lot of death dreams that come true as well but this one in particular is a first for me. The other night, an oracle in my dream (I know the woman in real life) told me I was going to die around 35 years old, maybe early 40s (42/43) if I’m lucky from a type of cancer that is caused by something very rare. I asked for more details and the oracle got upset and said “I shouldn’t have told you anything, I’ve had this gift since I was 8 years old but I don’t like using it, it’s not good when I do, but I had to tell you.
I remember feeling a sense of relief knowing I wouldn’t have much longer on earth and that I still had a bit of time I could enjoy left here before I had to leave. I woke up feeling that same relief but I believe it was a message dream because I remember all the details and more details kept coming through stronger as the day went on even though I tried to ignore it.
Does anyone have any ideas on what this dream could mean ? I understand death dreams signal new beginnings but it’s really wierd that it’s telling me I’m going to die at such a specific age and it’s quite far away
Anyone had anything similiar ? Thanks!
submitted by jahlayy to Dreams [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:22 Obesity-Won-Kenobi Nature of Abandonment (2/?)

I'm on a roll right now~!
Enjoy seeing a pissed off Meier... (Please don't hate me for it)
Memory Transcription Subject: Isif, Chief Hunter of the Arxur Dominion Sector Fleet
Date [Standardized human time] October 18, 2136
I didn’t understand how no Arxur could at least not feel a little bad… surely there wouldn’t be an Arxur who would scoff at this tragedy as weakness… These poor humans had to suffer so much at the hands of the Federation… Those cowardly fucks…
It was a bit after the battle started that we detected the antimatter dropping on earth from our spy station… there was too much of it, it was nothing less than concerning for a planet to face the impacts of so many bombs of such high magnitude… I arrived as soon as I could with my fleet, and I gave all those Federation fucks what they deserved and blasted all of them down to the darkest pits of hell… The extermination fleet was decimated but their life pods were sent down across the planet's surface…
I knew of the human’s general opinion of my kind; they saw me as a demon in the physical realm coming to devour all life… It’s not like I enjoyed that aspect of myself, but we don’t have any other choice. It’s not like we asked the Federation to come down and blast all of our livestock away…
Despite their disdain for me, I was requested by the UN headquarters to send troops down to all the Federation lifeboats far from their immediate reach. I found that surprising… but then again, I doubt after everything that Krakotl’s fleet did, they didn’t want any federation upon their world…
I sent down attack squads to all of the lifeboat locations that the humans would take too long to reach. Along with that, I ordered all other available forces to go down to all destroyed human cities…
All 400 of them…
I knew not of the current situation on earth… but from the initial reports? At least 4.5 billion people died yesterday… I know that the losses on such a massive scale would shatter the mind of any sane individual, and it definitely did so for the humans… so much of, no, the entire population of earth is calling for vengeance… It makes sense, to lose nearly half of their population to these filthy vermin… Their rage will make them strong, and the federation will face the might of both Dominion, and the UN… At least, that's what I think will happen.
I hope; We could really use the assistance with dealing with the Federation, we really could use their lab grown meat as well. For so long we’ve been scrounging for scrapes from federation colonies and undefended worlds, to finally stop needing such petty raids to survive, we could focus our military might to crush the prey once and for all… but the question is, will they help a monster that they still so hate?
All I could think of as I stared out the window of this Hotel on Titan was whether or not the meeting, I requested with their secretary General would bear fruit for the both of us… It’s us against them after all, shurely the humans wouldn’t be so stubborn to refuse us as an ally… especially since those Venlil cowards ran off from the battle to save their own sorry hides… that’s what you get for relying on prey to defend you.
I heard the door open behind me, I turned around with a smile on my face, “Ah! Secretary General Mei-” ... my words were cut short as I saw the look in his eyes… That look filled me with a strange sense of concern and unnerving… I didn’t know as to why I felt that I could no doubt take him in a fi-, no… he’s not mad at me, I can see the rage boiling within him, but it wasn’t directed towards me, no… For some reason I feel the rage continue to build… pooling into him to the point he should have bursted by now… He looked at me for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, ceasing the opportunity to sit on the chair opposite of him, now highly uncomfortable as I was exposed to this feeling… I felt vulnerable and I didn’t like it…
“Why did you call me?” His voice was colder than the vacuum that surrounded this moon.
I cleared my throat before speaking, “Apologies for the sudden request for this meeting Meier, but I was wondering as to the possibility of allying toge-”
“Done”, he responded almost immediately.
I was taken off guard by the rudeness of his response. It was surprising to see this human, who hated me so, be so quick to agree. Even with the desperation that is present within the collective human psyche. I just had to ask…
“Really? I thought you would surely speak out; I thought you hated the Dominion.”
Meier seemed to adopt less of such a cold disposition towards me as he spoke, “Oh don’t get me wrong, I utterly despise you Arxur for what you do, but after all that happened to us' '... He held his hands together as he leaned forward. “We’re willing to look past that… just so long as certain terms are met…”.
I leaned forward to listen to the human’s terms of allegiance. Meier spoke with a bitter seriousness, “We need to utilize one of your mobile shipyards to build shuttles for our people… Infrastructure was shot to high heaven by those Bird-brained bastards, and we need to get food to reach our people in more desolate and forgone regions… I'm not going to let so many of my people starve… we need many shuttles to make that happen, so we intend to use your mobile shipyard for that as we use our current shipyards for war production. Secondly, I would like your fleet to be stationed in a defensive position around Sol until we build up the necessary defenses to where your services are no longer needed.
“In payment for your services, we will provide you with the plans to build a vat for lab grown meat, and 100,000 bovines for you to farm and use in meat vats…” My Jaw dropped at the offer, they were going to give me exactly what I wanted and needed for the Dominion? Just moving in for long enough? This is-!...
“You got yourself a real human! I’ll make sure I have all my mobile shipyards here for your services… as a sort of sorry for scaring away the Zurulians…”
“That will be an acceptable apology… those Zurulians, to think they would simply leave after direct orders from Chauson to assist in recovery…”
I decided to joke about the fact, “Well? You know those feds… always running away from a figh-” I stopped just before I completed my sentence when I saw the wrathful 10-thousand-yard stare that Meier was giving me…
I should not have said that… I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT!
He spoke up, and what he said sent a shiver up my spine with the coldness in his voice. The coldness of a man who got stabbed in the back in more ways than one, “Soon enough… soon… enough… Xeno. Delenda. Est.” That phrase… oh that phrase…oh how I wished the translator was deactivated...
The Federation has just awoken a monster…
Prev: Nature of Abandonment (1/?) : NatureofPredators (reddit.com)
Next: (When it's ready)
submitted by Obesity-Won-Kenobi to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:22 novadesolate I miss my best friend

Sorry if the formatting is weird I’m on mobile. I (21m) lost my high school best friend (21m) 8 months ago in a gruesome car accident, we had been estranged for 3 years because of high school drama that now feels dumb, but I had wanted to get back in contact with him since I had felt we had grown enough as people to reconnect and continue our friendship. The news of his death shocked me and I couldn’t believe it at first. I cried for weeks and even to this day I’ll tear up when I drive by his house, remember the things we would do, or see someone wearing jorts (he loved wearing jorts). A couple days after his death I had learned from friends that had still kept in contact with him that even in the time we were estranged he still called me his best friend, this made me feel worse and filled me guilt for not reaching out sooner when he was still alive. I went to his funeral to gain some kind of closure but if anything I feel like that made it worse, he had an open casket funeral and you could see that part of his face was bruised from the accident despite being covered in makeup. I cried silently as I said goodbye to him. I learned at the funeral that 6 months before he passed his father had also died and it pained me that I wasn’t there to help him or to support him through that loss. I don’t regret going to the funeral but I feel like my mental health really worsened after the funeral. A week after his funeral I started having dreams about him. These dreams are very vivid and feel incredibly real, I won’t go into explicit detail about the dreams because I cherish them dearly and I would like to keep them private but in my dreams it’s as if he hadn’t died and we’re hanging out liked we used to, I wake up from these dreams and I immediately start to cry, these dreams have persisted for months although they’ve gotten less frequent they still have me crying whenever I dream of him. Sometimes I’ll have nightmares that we’re both in a car accident and I watch him die infront of me not being able to do anything to save him, these are the worst. His birthday is coming up soon and it reminds me of the times he used to tease me for being older than me(by 4 months) and now I’ll always be older than him. I wish I could go back in time and tell him how much he meant to me and be his friend again. I don’t know how to live with this guilt or if I’ll ever stop feeling this horrible. I don’t know how to deal with this loss or if I even have the right to mourn him since I never got back in touch with him. I miss him so much. While I am in the process of getting into therapy it’s taking a while so I thought that posting here would be a healthy way of working through some emotions. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read through this I just really needed to let this out.
submitted by novadesolate to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.05.28 15:21 endersgame69 Adopted By Humans VII C8

Even with modern propulsion technology, the galaxy remains a very big place, with vast territories being still totally unexplored. It may seem strange to those living in the future, far removed from the time in which I write this. But in my time, the galaxy was a mix of well trodden paths and untamed wilderness filled with mystery. Permastorms here and there were too strong for any ship to pierce…any known ship to pierce, I should say, and even where such raging storms didn’t keep us at bay, the Universe seemed endless in all directions.
It reminds me of the traditional Earth compass, the one that served as the base model for the stellar version. Theirs contained three hundred and sixty degrees as a matter of course, humans were land mammals, the flat ground was all they could really explore. They couldn’t fly high or swim deep.
Even when they invented machines that took them to the sky or to the depths of the sea, well there was just nothing in between to remark on. Once under water, you just keep going until eventually…
You hit bottom and that three hundred and sixty degree circle compass is good enough.
But in space? You can go ‘up’ or ‘down’ in a vertical three hundred and sixty degrees, you’re not on a flat plane, and so the stellar compass includes a vertical and horizontal version of itself that breaks the whole galaxy, known and unknown, into measured quadrants and degrees, vertical and horizontal with distance measured in light years toward galactic center. So a hundred thousand light years with a horizontal degree of thirty and a vertical azimuth of sixty would give you a precise, three dimensional map of whatever system you wanted to reach.
Why the black hole in the center of the galaxy, even though nobody has ever reached it? Because we all know where it is. In theory, any one planet or star could serve as the point of origin, but nobody will use anybody else’s mapping system like that… so the black hole we all orbit serves that purpose instead.
Why am I telling you all this? Because you have to understand just how ponderous travel still is in this era to properly understand just why reactions are slow. Thanks to electron spin resonance technology that allows instantaneous transmission of information and communication, we can know quickly what is happening.
But establishing those links takes years of transporting material links from system to system in endless combinations, and every new colony needs to have their own, connected to every other point. For some species, this is as simple as a one room building, for example if communication exists only between the colony and their home world, with no other ties to any other peoples or space stations.
For others, this is a complex the size of a city block, and because of their military significance, whether it is the size of a small room or a great expanse, everybody buries these deep within their worlds to protect them.
Instant communication however, is not the same as instant transportation, it takes months for the fastest ship of Dlamias to reach Earth, and ours are some of the fastest there are. Jump technology can be faster, but it is dangerous, damaging, and it only works in specific way points for reasons I do not understand. Ask a physicist.
But this slow transport of ships and people and goods, and easy expansion in all directions, both minimizes and exacerbates tensions as borders become more common…everybody is, in a sense… surrounded. Except for the zenti, at least not as far as we know. If there’s anything or anyone on the far side of their border? As of this first writing, nobody knows. And if we figure it out later… you won’t need me to tell you.
The human communication network is one of the most extensive in the galaxy, with two way links to all their colonies and themselves, as well as a two way link between all colonies. Colonies are also allowed to establish their own independent links to neighboring populations of alien species for purposes of facilitating travel and trade, rather than going through Earth, as long as they adhere to the central government’s policies.
It’s shockingly efficient, and the nearer ‘Rapax’ category species were now taking advantage of this efficiency in terms of trade opportunities with outlying Earth colonies, which were in turn trading with each other which were in turn trading with Earth which was in turn trading with other species which was in turn making travel to and from their systems more and more common.
But all the…Praeda, could see was this instant communication. They were less common travelers, and usually facilitated trade via outlying starbases that kept others at a distance.
From their perspective?
It must have appeared as if Earth and to a lesser extent, Dlamias, were facilitating the creation of a grand alliance of predators. From their perspective, perhaps even the human propensity to create categories… such as the recent biological designations of ‘Praeda’ and ‘Rapax’ appeared to be a kind of ‘them’ and ‘us’. When it was really just a very recently innovated xenobiology convention of describing the base ancestor species of the modern dominant intelligent life.
Thus the benign, by distance, fear, and ignorance, is made to appear threatening.
And for the millionth time… yes… yes… I know… my ‘leagues’ were not helping matters.
But what’s done is done, whatever I did, I would make somebody unhappy. And… it’s true, I won’t deny that I inherited some biases against the ‘Praeda’ category, though I did my best to remain neutral, it was hard not to be annoyed with their general attitudes, persistent reclusiveness, reactionary paranoia, assumptions about the worst of us when they’re just as bad when it comes to past conflicts…I could go on.
Addendum: As of the sixth edition of this book, I must include ‘this’ caveat. When I wrote the aforementioned passage regarding praeda, which I leave in for posterity as one of my great failures, I meant it. In later years, I’ve come to realize that I failed to properly consider my own biases, and was not as neutral as I wished to be. I reasoned from a place of ignorance, and that was the result. What follows this insert, is the resumption of my thoughts at the time.
The fact was though, for now, there was nothing that I could do. News of the rogue planet coming through Zenti space meant that it would reach the Sindari Road within a year, perhaps a few months? I wasn’t clear on that at the time, but from what I knew of history, the fight over getting to land on that world was a free for all of ship to ship slaughter and blasted landing parties that died from ships above or other landing parties below and… it did not end well for any of us when the situation spiraled out of control.
“How can you be so foolish, Bailey?” I asked myself that question, and why it never occurred to me that any of this might happen, everybody knew that the rogue world would make its way back eventually.
“OK…OK… I’ll give myself a pass on that one, it’s been close to three thousand years… how was I to know.” I huffed and reached into my gel fridge to pull out a beer. The nice thing about this little model was… no door. You reach in through the cooling gel, grab what you want, and take it out, and the gel closes up again. No need for shelves like the old models and you can come at it from any angle.
I opened the bottle of ale and began to drink the rich, earthy flavored fluid. I wasn’t going to get heavily intoxicated of course, I had thinking to do, I just liked the relaxed feeling and there wasn’t anything else to do for right now.
William was handling the station.
Rebecca was working with genetic samples.
Michael wouldn’t be back for at least another day and he was out with Genghis, Byron, Boatswain, and Iskandar.
Fauve was still in Japan.
The ambassadors already had jobs that they were doing.
I’d never felt so useless in my entire life.
There just…wasn’t anything for me to do to help, and because at least some of this situation was traceable to my own actions, I thought, ‘Anything I might do, has a good chance of just making things worse.’
That is not a good feeling to have.
And I didn’t know who to talk to about it.
Remember what I said before, or rather, what my Professor said? ‘Everything is an experiment’?
My time on Earth had changed me in ways I didn’t recognize were even possible until humans gave me words to express them.
And once all those things grew, and those connections were forged and I finally was really, truly happy… and secure in the notion that my life was good and going well and nothing would change that, I started to forget how things used to be.
Now, sitting alone in my room with nobody in the house and everybody doing other things, and all of them in a position to where I really couldn’t think of anything to do and felt really insecure again for the first time in a while…
I remembered, or ‘re-experienced’ what my entire life felt like before coming to Earth.
For that moment, I had a firsthand comparison between the old way, and the new way.
It was enough to make me wonder how I, or anybody in my species, lasted as long as we did.
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