I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

You came back into my life, and once again, we immediately came back to this natural connection. You told me you loved me, again, and that when I was having anxiety thoughts, I should bring them up with you, instead of sitting on them. After I trusted you, again, and did that, you basically cut contact with me until we talked again. At that point I explained to you I recognized I had gotten a bit too caught up in having you back in my life. That wasn’t it though. You and I had a great thing going, and you freaked out, and pulled back without any communication whatsoever. You left me guessing, and in pain, without any understanding. You seem to think you’re a good person. You’re not. You’ve demolished me, TWICE. You claim that through therapy, you think you did something “human” by cheating. TWICE. All you did was prove that you can’t be trusted. You’re a narcissist, whether you choose to believe it or not. You feign care for other people. The fact is, you’re only concerned with yourself. You always will be. You’re a terrible person. I gave you my fucking heart twice. Edgar gave you his heart. He’s an awful person too, but neither of us deserved the treatment you gave us. You say you love deeply, but the fact is you’re incapable of it. You’re a fucking sociopath pretending to understand emotions, and trying to convince yourself you’re not. FUCK YOU.

These are my beginner fanfictions! I tried to keep these as congruent with the portrayed personalities/actions of Overlord(tm).
The first is set sometime around the Re-Estize Kingdom destruction, while the second is set right after Pestonya and Nigredo get released from Ice Prison.
These feature Mare, Pestonya, and Cocytus mostly.
Please enjoy them!
---
The shadow demon whispered into Ainz' "ear" which was met with a heavy sigh. He had grown tired of this fight, his enthusiasm for the following battle was sapped- all due to a certain individuals' actions.
"I tire of this. Cocytus, do as you will."
Cocytus thumped his chest with the pride not only of being chosen by Ainz-Sama but at the incoming chance to prove his worth to his God.
"Yes! Ainz. Sama. Will. I. Be. Providing. Back. Up. For. Your. Commands?"
Ainz propped his chin on a knuckle, and with a regal wave of his hand stated his decree.
"This war is with truly worthless, as well as anything that might be here. Truly worthless creatures." A chill seeped over the ground as Cocytus and the other retainers within the splendorous tent realized- Ainz-sama was angered by the Individuals' previous actions. The chill spread through their feet and crawled up their backs, like a horrid ghost which wished to whisper sweet nothings of despair into your ear. Slowly, it retracted, yet all in the tent continued to shiver. Such was the wrath of a Supreme Being. "Except for "that individual" do as you must, this was a waste of time. Everyone you shall be placed under Cocytus' direct orders as needed- assist him as you must."
Ainz-sama leaned deeper into his fist, lost in thought and perhaps tired from having to deal with this skirmish- far beneath need to waste his time. Cocytus and the other retainers bowed and briskly left the room. Walking with pride- Cocytus was trailed by footsteps, one step of clicking heels behind him drew his notice.
"Cocytus."
Albedo, the Overseer of Nazarick gently but firmly gripped one of his arms causing him to stop in his tracks.
"I apologize for touching you, but I don't need to exp-"
Cocytus waved two of his opposite arms, opposite from Albedos' retreating grasp.
"It. Need. Not. Be. Said." Cocytus puffed out "To. Not. Only. Waste. Ainz. Samas'. Precious. Time. But. To. Also. Not. Even. Reach. The. Standards. To. Meet. His. Expectations. Is. Worthy. Of. Eradication."
The other retainers- the Floor Guardians nodded to his statement in agreement.
Shalltear piped up" Ahhh~ We don't even need to show them true despair, this will simply be an execution." With a shake of her head and an expression which read "It can't be helped."
With resolve tempered, Cocytus began his task.
---
The Hydra was a creature well known not only in Yggdrasil, but in the New World as well. Capable of casting not only magic of the 5th tier, but sometimes able to cast martial abilities. This was, however, entirely dependent on the luck of said hydra from birth. They could have anywhere from 7-9 heads and each could be skilled in magic or martial abilities, what it knew however was random- one could cast up to 2nd Tier but another on the same body could cast 5th tier. Its' heads would act in unison, with a "main head" being chosen by one which displayed their dominance by fighting the other heads and helped by slight telekinesis which allowed them to sense the leaders' whims.
Pelgraya-Nurm was proud of her shiny scales, which she frequently rehydrated to keep their glistening texture possibly to appear alluring to the humans. Their approval was below her, but who wouldn't appreciate praise no matter how insignificant. She shook her golden brown mane, large and fluffy she would easily be lauded by these humans as the softest cuddling partner if only she was nicer. She was not however.
Pelgraya-Nurm was different however, instead of heads it had been born with a plethora of arms. These arms, while not adept at martial kills, could cast 6th tier spells and along with improved dexterity, she could wield weapons if needed. This could be the reason she was cast out and viciously chased off by her kith and kin, probably not wanting the weakness a mutant would bring. She also had a talent, for mana, which increased her mana regen by absurd amounts the lower her mana. She was currently leading the contingent of her mercenary group which while called "The City Guard" were nothing more than thugs.
Pelgraya-Nurm had taken a name in part of jealousy of dragons (but partially from being shunned by her kin) but also to make her stand out among humans. While she easily towered over humans, however, the creatures she saw across from the battlefield shook her even now and made her feel insignifigant. She looked to her adjutant, Papaya, an elf she had bought to handle any affairs of human relations.
"Papaya" Pelgraya-Nurm muttered "What is that contingent of undead? Why have we not heard of such a thing before?"
Papaya rocked with her masters' obvious displeasure.
"I-i'm not sure. We haven't heard anything from scouts or even from the kingdom- they simply appeared P-Pelgraya-sama."
Papaya was consequently splattered across the floor, nearby soldiers, and part of the wall Pelgraya-Nurm was stationed on. Wicking off her claws with a flick of the wrist, she voiced her displeasure.
"You can all be replaced, you are nothing to me. I own you." Pelgraya-Nurm stated matter-of-factly. Simply put, this was how Hydras' and even most monsters behaved- rule of the strong. However, this was not usually the case for humanoids. They had "laws" and "good samaritism" they usually reacted negatively to being pasted onto their nearby surroundings.
Out of the corned of her eye, Pelgraya-Nurm saw a twisting of her humongous shadow- a small offshoot which seemed to sputter and slink off. Only for a second, she must have been seeing a trick of the light. She turned towards her opponents and grinned, they stood no chance.
Across the battlefield, after being reported to by that shadow demon, someone stamped the seal which would seal their fate.
---
Cocytus had prepared a map of the village they stood before, which had been prepared by the shadow demons beforehand. It was largely unremarkable, but being a ragtag mercenary group this could easily be all of their mustered forces. The shadow demons hadn't been scouting for long but they would more than likely bring forth confirmation to this point. Cocytus would not be swayed by this, already tempered by previous expectations.
"Shalltear. May. I. Leave. Mopping. Up. Escaping. Troops. Or. Those. Running. Away. To. You?"
With a dainty curtsy, Shalltear silently left with an expression of relish. Now, what to do about showing the true wrath towards someone who wasted the precious Supreme Ones' infinite mercy of a quick death?
"Do. We. Have. The. Troops. Ready?"
"Yes, Cocytus. I have a suggestion to showing off our Supreme Ones' beauty in rule." Demiurge responded with a slowly growing grin.
Then. I. Shall. Leave. That. To. You."
---
Pelgraya-Nurm was the first to hear it. A slow repeating stomp followed by a short break and then repeating. It quickly grew and inversely morale quickly shriveled.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
This continued for a short while, as the undead which comprised the enemy forces- stomped in time, a truly jaw-dropping event. Undead could be coordinated so? In this number? Pelgraya-Nurm was growing uneasy, her surrounding contingent had long passed this.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The undead knelt and bowed, all centered on the tent in the distance. A chill was growing like a pillar of ice in the human army. No longer centered around Pelgraya-Nurm, but on this unknown force which had appeared.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The army split neatly in two as the undead smoothly, rised, slid away from the center, and resumed kneeling. A golden embroidered flag, with a black seal upon the purple midnight fabric. It slowly approached the middle grounds between the two armies and assumed a straight backed stance.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
It began hoisting the flag straight up on every stomp, down in between. With a voice unnaturally loud for a sinle creature to have- and to be heard over such a distance. A voice which while holding a degree of self-importance rasped with the clear hatred for the living. It interrupted between the stomps.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
This continued until they saw creatures slowly walk from both sides of the army, chilling them to the bone even more somehow. Towering, black, and wielding swords in twisting patterns with paired great shields. Adorned with red veins which pulsated and seemed to draw the viewer into their grisly visage, a face which begged for them to approach and be rent. Death Knights.
These creatures lumbered in a roundabout number as the contingent shuddered in fear, no doubt a rout was being concocted simultaneously by these non-connected creatures. As the realization dawned on them for what was happening- they were being boxed in. Those horrid creatures had spaced themselves enough to easily be able to catch them if any tried to run.
It was a do-or-die situation. And if they got resurrected it might just be a die-or-die situation. Suddenly, gripping her superiority and strength- Pelgraya-Nurm commanded these rowdy people together.
"We have no chance of running, this is truly ride or die! Keep them at bay and I'll blast them to death!" she smirked despite her creeping fear.
The soldiers prepared themselves, maybe some of them would make it out alive if they fought to either their teeth or nails.
---
Shalltear skipped along the streets, a strong undead following in tow. It was called a Living Hunter, an undead of the 50s level. It hungered for the living as its' name foretold, it however was adequately skilled for this task. It grew stronger in proportion to the living around it, which increased the radius of those included which could swell to absurd ranges depending on deployment. As well as that, it grew faster movement speed and attack speed the longer it chased an individual living creature. It towered over its surroundings and it could be slowed by those running into or hiding in buildings. This was also tempered by the fact it was sometimes unable to control itself from brutally devouring victims alive in brutal and sadistic fashions. While it could be a dangerous foe for attackers, it could easily be countered by simply sending in weak merc. NPCs to distract it or, even simpler just having a tank which had any taunt skill to constantly reset their passive.
Shalltear had been dragging along several human corpses in one hand while her umbrella was twirled in the other, snacks- not for her of course. They had easily accomplished their task, Living Hunter chasing stragglers and scaring people while Shalltear threw rocks to smash them into pieces. While its disgusting nature could never be mistaken for cute, the growl it made was of pleading. Shalltear stopped in place, sighed in an exaggerated manner, and spun with a childish waggle of her finger said-
"I GUESS you receive a treat for your good work.."
-she smiled and tossed corpses up to the Undead Hunter not unlike how one would toss treats to their pet dog. It snapped them up and smashed them like balloons between its teeth, chewing them up as if relishing a delicious piece of bubblegum.
"Gruuuu..!" it rumbled, shaking the surroundings.
"Okay, you continue with the pincer attack while I watch over this city, arinsu~."
It lumbered off as Shalltear sauntered up a walls buttressed stairs, before shortly perching herself to watch the ensuing battle, kicking her feet, and cutely twirling her umbrella.
---
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
Suddenly, it stopped. Jolting the mercenaries to attention. The undead chanter turned itself to the side and took steps back. A towering creature stepped forth from the tent and walked down the alley towards them.
As a slow frost gently billowed forth from the enemy side, the soldiers teeth began clacking. Pelgraya-Nurm, being cold-blooded, especially. The creature walked forth, eyes glinting in the dwindling sunlight and planted itself where the chanter had been. It slammed its weapons- a giant curved sword with a long hilt, a halberd, and an oddly small thin blade. The halberd and large sword had their hilts planted in the crackling, dry earth.
Silence. No one dared breath. The battlefield had shrunk and the contingent realized this. They were audibly shaking now, armor clinking over armor. Pelgraya-Nurm moved to say something was cut off by a shriek from behind them. A shriek which sounded like souls whining to be realsed from eternal torment.
Rubble came crashing down around them, slushing some of them and maiming others. Pelgraya-Nurm was struck by a huge chunk of wall directly in the face as she looked up, knocking her out cold. She was unable to witness the creature which had crumbled the walls from behind like a child might crush a graham cracker in their hands. It lurched over, so close it could look some of them face to face. It rasped a disgusting swathe of undead stench over them and seemingly chuckled. It- counter to its' size, grasped several soldiers with its armored mitts and tossed them into the air. The resulting crunch of the bone heralded the beginning to the skirmish.
As the undead began marching towards them, their attention was diverted between the encroaching mass of dead and the fact this creature summarily had grasped Pelgraya-Nurm and slowly dragged her with them. Their trump card removed, they were finished in barely ten minutes.
---
Pelgraya-Nurm awoke slowly, her vision blurry and ear-holes ringing.
"????? ??????? ?? ??? ????..." something murmured. She did not know or care whether this was directed at her, and she was focused on simply getting up and wreaking havoc among these filthy peasants. She toppled over, due to her weight and a force pushing her down.
"??! ??? ????? ? ??? ?????? ??? ? wonder ?? sama ??? ???????? ?? ?????" failed to breach her head and report anything communicable to her brain. She was slowly coming to and realized she was surrounded.
A silver haired thing, a creature in orange vestment, and the tall white thing from before.
"Waking ??? ?? ???? ?. Good. ??? ?? ?? begin."
The silver-hair and white- thing stood with smug(?) looks (she had never cared to learn human expressions) as the orange-suit walked forward.
"How would you ???? do this?" the orange-ones' movement was making her dizzy again, however she had the upper hand- quickly she cast a [Silent Magic: Ultra Fireball] in a deft motion. Before that she was struck across the head which sent her reeling and slightly rolling. The fuzziness returned-
"No." orange-suit said, muffled by her newly made brain fog.
"A bit gentler ???? ?????? Ainz-sama ???? ???? this one ??? all." the silver-hair piped up
"Indeed. It. Will ????. ?. ??????. Prize. For. ???. Ainz. Sama. ????. It. Would. Seem. ???. ?. ??????. Bauble." white-thing responded.
Her vision returning, she weakly lifted her head and was promptly struck again- she had been bitch-slapped. It wasn't as forceful as before, which allowed her to go all out and cast [Maximize Magic: Ultra Fireball], [Maximize Magic: Magic Arrow], and [Maximi-
She was bitch slapped once.
She was bitch slapped twice.
She was bitch slapped a third time.
Her head was whipped around comically with the applied beatings.
"????. ??. ????. ???. Awaits." the white-thing stated
"??????." the silver-hair responded
"??. ??? ????? ????." the orange-suit concurred.
Pelgraya-Nurm was gripped by her throat as she was recovering from this. The orange-thing gripped her throat with a single thing, threatening to crush her windpipe. Slowly she started being dragged along behind them, at a brisk pace. The cobblestone of the city around her and the subsequent rocky ground, for the first time hurt as she was roughly dragged along it.
She struggled, and was thrown onto the ground and bitch-slapped again, gripped by the throat, and dragged along again. This continued two more times, but Pelgraya-Nurm was exhausted, not only from her large size' energy need, the beatings, and an unknown exposure to the sunlight. She felt weak and the fight left her. She was dragged along the long, slow, path towards that tent.
---
They finally arrived in front of the tent and she was again slammed into the ground, this time in a much harder throw. The wind and tears were knocked from her, the ground cracking underneath this crushing blow. The white-thing, silver-hair, and orange-suit all prostrated themselves towards the tent. An encroaching fear was growing over Pelgraya-Nurm and she bowed her head to the ground (again, partly from exhaustion and the beatings).
"Ainz-sama! We have brought this disgusting specimen before you as you have asked!" the three spoke in unison. Pelgraya-Nurm understood. Ainz Ooal Gown was not a country or a simple fief but someone these things bowed before.
As the aforementioned one fluttered the tent flap open, a finely decorated skeleton thing- followed by a demi-angel(?). Fear pierced her through like a harpoon, and felt as if it was being pulled through her guts. She openly shook and hoped maybe since they had brought her forth, they might allow her to at least live. Undead were known to hate the living, but maybe since this one surrounded itself by the living it would be merciful.
---
Ainz flapped open the tent, and was greeted with Demiurge, Shalltear, and Cocytus. He received their gift of this prisoner-of-war, and consequently praised their efforts. This praise made them seemingly shiver with delight. But to Pelgraya-Nurm, it was unnoticed- she was too focused on this one called "Ainz."
"A-Ainz-sama?" She spat up as she pressed her head into the head indent she had made earlier. "I-"
Ainz sliced his hand horizontally as if to cut her in twain.
"Silence." it commanded.
She began tearing up, how could fate deny her strength. She had made herself a slowly growing land, full with servants, and glory to her. Why had this thing come here? Why her?
"To viciously murder ones followers, loyal beings- is a sin I cannot abide. To do so, is to be scum of the worst kind. I do not normally do this, but I shall relish this. Cocytus lift her."
Before she could run, white-thing grabbed her by the forehead and lifted her straight up. This painful grip denied her any chance to pull free, her large body squirming halfways upon the ground. Her arms pulled and scraped the ground and attempted to pull herself free by pushing against Cocytus. She was like a child being lifted by the leg, helpless against her coming doom.
Ainz flicked his wrist and a magic circle appeared before his bony hand. With that he made a faux-gripping motion and she could no longer move her body and some of her arms. It felt like she was truly being gripped within his grasp. Her arms now flailed uselessly and she screamed and cried as she too flailed. Her last thought was that she had never found a mate, maybe a human HAD been her only chance.
With that flick of the wrist, she was summarily twisted around, multiple times, in a quick clockwise turn. Cocytus' grip being the axis of this sickly pirouette, evoking the look of a ballroom dance. Cocytus subsequently dropped the head.
"Send it to be picked clean, and Living Hunter to patrol."
​
Much later, after confirming everything was razed and destroyed- the Living Hunter gleefully engorged itself among the feast of the battlefield.
​

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​
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 88: Noughts And Crosses
Everything told me that I'd misheard. Badly.
Sword saint or not, she was clearly a commoner, and so spoke a language barely two steps evolved from cave paintings.
After all, there was simply no perceivable scenario in which she would admit, with a smile no less, to having committed tax evasion and burglary against the Royal Treasury! That was patently absurd. To commit even the lowest offence against the royal family was a high crime—and burglary could never be described as low.
Yes, of course.
This had been an exceptionally tiring few days. Clearly, the amount of words my delicate ears had been subjected to by criminals, nobility and criminal nobility had damaged my hearing faculties. And then there was the smell. It was awful. Cows and peasants everywhere.
I needed to rest. Desperately. The very first high-quality lodgings I came across, I would stay in. No more being fussy because I didn't like the colour of the roof tiles. As long as the room was fully furnished, came with ample amenities, a large bathtub and 24 hour room service, I was willing to stay even in Aquina.
For the sake of my health, I needed to be flexible with my standards—at least for one night. Tomorrow would adhere to a different standard, but for now, I could force myself to contend with the smell of this farmyard duchy.
Indeed, I was already used to it.
Even the worst of livestock barely surpassed the stench of what I'd suffered in the royal capital. That'd been appalling. Spilled food, vomit and the perfume of nobility. Though no blade struck me, I hadn't come out of that debacle unscathed. I was likely suffering from a host of ailments.
The biggest, of course, being the brain rot that was causing me to interpret entire sentences incorrectly.
And so, I offered a beautiful smile—all the while I gripped Starlight Grace in my hand.
“My apologies,” I said to the Snow Dancer. “You will have to repeat that. Slowly. I believe I grossly misheard you when you claimed to fail in your payment of taxes to the Royal Treasury, and that you also burgle from it.”
The elven woman took a few minute steps away, the sword twirling imposingly in her hand … just before she turned, kneeled and began drawing noughts and crosses into the snow with the tip.
I watched as she played a match against herself.
She lost. Somehow.
“Nope, that's what I said,” she replied with a carefree shrug.
And thus—my smile creaked.
“Could you perhaps reword it, at least, but with slightly less treason?”
“I'm not sure I can, since it wasn't treason. It was grand larceny. I checked.”
“The definition is highly flexible. And by that, I mean determined solely by me. What did you steal?”
Ophelia blinked at me in puzzlement.
I rolled my eyes.
“From the Royal Treasury.”
“Oh. That. I can't remember. It wasn't important. Probably a painting or something.”
“A painting? You stole a painting?”
I was appalled.
The Royal Treasury only held items of immense value. Treasures which preceded generations of our family. Any portrait held there would be worth more than all the gold crowns lying beneath it.
Ophelia thought for a moment.
“Old guy. Fluffy white beard. Wore a tea towel on his head.”
Suddenly, I felt my breath catch in my throat.
“Describe the tea towel,” I said at once.
Ophelia hummed at her next game of noughts and crosses.
“Blue and white. Checkered. With a squiggly flower in the middle.”
My hand covered my mouth as I immediately recalled the oil painting in my mind.
The Man With The Tea Towel. A highly distinct work of modern impressionism, interpreting my great-great-grandfather, King Reginald the Bald at his prime.
It came all too easily to me.
After all … I was the one who painted it!
“That's what you stole?!”
“I think so. But hey, in my treasonous defence, it was the only thing I took. Honestly, I just wanted to peek around. I wasn't planning on grabbing anything. Maybe.”
My hand shook against my mouth.
I … I couldn't believe it … The Snow Dancer had stolen the first ever painting I'd deemed worthy enough to show my mother and father?! A cherished and storied part of my own personal history?!
I was absolutely horrified.
Why, I'd ordered it destroyed!
Who interceded?! That painting wasn't even worthy enough to be used as a carpet! That it was sent to the Royal Treasury is a humiliation! Who betrayed me?! Was it the servants?! The guards?! Heads would roll for this!
“Of all the riches laden in the Royal Treasury, you stole that?!”
“Yeah. Why? Was it expensive?”
“It … well, in a manner of speaking, yes! But why not a storied tiara?! An ancient tome of forbidden spells?! Why did you have to steal a work of sheer inadequacy which demonstrated only a naive ignorance of colours?!”
Ophelia shrugged.
“I liked the tea towel. It was cute.”
I almost vomited on the spot.
Painting that tea towel ensured I'd entered the world of fine art at its lowest rung! And now I knew that somewhere in the world, my crimes against modern impressionism were visible to all!
“What … What happened to it … ?” I asked, my voice dry as sand. “Did you … Did you sell it … is it now halfway across the continent … in a gallery to be mocked and scorned at … ?”
“That's very unlikely. After all, chopping wood for kindling is sort of a pain and I like the scent of oil canvases. You know, when they're on fire.”
I gasped.
“You burned the painting?!”
“Yeah.” She paused. “My bad.”
My entire body relaxed.
Despite the unrelenting chill in this frozen chamber, I felt nothing but searing relief burning inside me. Had I decided to drop down and roll against the snow, I was certain that billowing steam would engulf us all.
“You … You have committed a terrible and permanent … it was permanent, yes … ?”
“Really permanent. The charred ash isn't even there anymore.”
“Then, you've committed a permanent and irreversible crime against this kingdom! Why, without that ghastly painting, filled with anatomy errors and depth mistakes, the kingdom will be a happier, but culturally worse off place!”
For a moment, overwhelming gratitude filled my heart.
… And then I remembered she'd broken into the Royal Treasury, evaded taxes and assisted in the planned secession of Aquina!
“Snow Dancer,” I said, wiping off the lines of relief from my face. “I believe it's time you paid the Royal Treasury another visit.”
“Oh? But I've already looked inside. Has it changed much in the past few years?”
“Considerably. But you can assist in returning it to its former state.”
Indeed … it was time to calculate the vast financial repayment plan that the Snow Dancer would momentarily be signing in order to enter a life of crippling destitution and inescapable poverty.
“You will repay every crown that is owed,” I said, kneeling down beside her to join the new noughts and crosses game she'd marked in the snow. “You're in arrears. An unfortunate, but easily repairable set of circumstances.”
“Now that does sound serious. Also, are you noughts or crosses?”
“Crosses,” I said, as I promptly took the first turn. I poked a cross directly in the centre with my sword. “And fortunately for you, I have experience in dictating unreasonable financial repayment plans. I care not whether you are a sword saint evading taxes or a servant spilling wine. Your debt will be repaid. In full. And on time. The matter of you aiding the Duke will be handled separately.”
The Snow Dancer frowned as she battled out her next series of defensive noughts against my aggressive crosses. A draw.
She ruffled the snow and instantly drew a new game for us.
“Ouch. That's a lot to look forward to.”
“It is. But you may begin with your atonement to the Royal Treasury. I require a concise list of all your properties and assets.”
“I have a cottage, a pond and two ducks.”
I tapped my foot, waiting for her to continue.
“Yes? And?”
“That's it.”
“How could that be it? You're a sword saint, yet you live like a peasant in squalor?”
Ophelia looked genuinely offended. But not offended enough for me not to notice her cheating by scrubbing one of my crosses away. I clearly and deliberately remarked it with my sword.
“That cottage, pond and two ducks is all I need. It's homely and comfortable. Despite what everyone else says, I'm extremely content with what I have. So what if it's not big enough to raise a family in? It's big enough for friends. And I have lots of friends. In fact, I have too many. I have to keep my door locked all day, otherwise friends will just keep wandering inside.”
The elven woman suddenly began poking her noughts harder into the snow.
I peeled away ever so slightly.
“Y-Yes … well, be that as it may, you have more than your meagre … cottage to offer the Royal Treasury. You've failed to include the sizable asset in your hand.”
Ophelia lifted the tip of her sword away from the latest nought she drew.
“Oh, this thing?”
“Yes, that thing. I imagine an elven sword with a sapphire pommel will prove a suitable start to your long journey of reparations.”
“You think so? Well, in that case, sure! It's all yours.”
The Snow Dancer smiled—without moving, offering or presenting the sword in her hand for my collection.
“By that,” she continued, eyes brimming with enthusiasm, “I mean that you're going to have to take it from me, although I don't think that's very likely. I saw you dodge all those traps. You're fast. Really, really fast. And fast equals potential. And I love potential. But there's no way you could come close to beating someone like me in an actual fight. And the thought of murdering you is such a waste. I've waited literal years for someone interesting to pop up. So here's the deal! We make it exciting. You open that vault and I'll stop you like I'm … probably supposed to? Then, once you horribly and painfully lose, I'll recommend some teachers so you can have an epic training arc in the mountains! I'll throw in a few ominous appearances and string you along with a few high level goons. Once you're strong enough to beat me, we can have an actual showdown with my sword and A-rank title on the line. It'll be amazing!”
A long moment of silence passed.
Eventually, I offered a smile as pure as the snow around us—which given that it was now the tomb for dozens of frozen guards, wasn't pure in the slightest.
And that's fine.
Because someone who was now openly mocking me for the way I handled Aquina's slow, rusty traps deserved no less.
“Ohohoh … a truly colourful suggestion. However, I'd like to propose an alternative.”
“Oh? What's that?”
Casually pointing Starlight Grace across my lap, I aimed it directly at Ophelia's undefended side.
“[Spring Breeze].”
For a single moment, I saw a pair of blue eyes looking down at the gathering wind at the tip of my sword.
Pwooooomph.
That sight was replaced by an explosion of snow.
I coughed, my entire vision filled by a blanket of white as the very chamber groaned around me. A thick plume of snowfall instantly covered me, and yet even in that white haze, I could see the giant hole in the snowy ground where an elven sword saint now lay buried.
Towards the empty space where my opponent had just been kneeling, I raised my hand to my lips and cackled.
“Ohohohohohohohohhohoho! You fool! Did you believe me as prone to flights of fancy as you? While idly playing lockpicker and games in the snow, I was waiting for an opportunity to take you unawares!”
Naive!
Naturally, I was under no allusions as to the grave threat this, frankly, bizarre elven woman posed to the kingdom!
She was most certainly no wandering wisp here to assist me in breaking open Aquina's vault for fun! She had her own ploys and schemes, and acted under the orders of the very Duke whose castle I was now taxing!
Indeed, I was merely waiting, prowling, my intentions meticulously hidden like a panther in the shadows—and when I spied my chance, I seized it without hesitation!
Because what I failed to mention to the Snow Dancer was that she would have to commit to her financial repayment plan while in prison!
Ohohohohohohohoho!
“Ooooh ...”
To the side, I heard applause as Coppelia congratulated me from behind what was now a rather impressive snow castle.
“Such an underhanded attack!” she said, smiling broadly from above a parapet. “You waited until her eyes were sparkling! She never saw it coming!”
I smiled, accepting the compliment in full.
Why, it could be nothing else! I had just achieved a stunning victory over an A-rank sword saint in a single strike!
Was it chivalrous? No. Did I care? More no.
Because history was written by the victors, and as far as anyone outside this chamber was concerned, I'd defeated the Snow Dancer in honourable combat!
“Ohohohoho! Behold! Being A-rank clearly doesn't extend to superior intellect! Because even if she's greater at swordplay, I'm greater at machinations!”
Coppelia smiled lazily at me, her arms leaning atop the walls of her castle.
“The pen is mightier than the sword, huh?~”
“No, Coppelia. The sword is mightier than the sword which isn't facing the right direction … ohohohohoho!”
My obstacle removed, I pointed at the vault.
“The way now is clear! I've no doubt that the Snow Dancer was present for the sole purpose of hindering our passage, whatever her playfulness might suggest.”
“Probably,” replied my future handmaiden, who for some reason still wasn't moving from her castle. “I mean, if she did want to stop us, that'd be a problem. A-rank sword saints are something special.”
I quietly laughed, trying my best not to inhale the snow.
“Why, A-rank is merely a title. And as princess, I outrank them all. Should any foe present themselves to me, I'll dispatch them as readily as I would a jester at court!”
Coppelia nodded.
All the while, she started piling on another layer on her snow wall.
“The thing is, A-rank sword saints aren't just really tough. They're silly tough. I bet they could even take a [Ball Of Doom] to the face and still survive.”
“To the face?”
I was horrified.
I could punt fruit slimes over 100 metres! Why, even if someone survived being struck in the face, then no healer could repair the damage to their hair. It'd be permanently frizzled!
Nobody would want to live after that!
“Mmh. They're nuts that way.” Coppelia peeked over her wall. “Did you hit her in the face, by any chance?”
“No.”
“Well, then.”
I pursed my lips.
After which, I turned around to view the hole being covered by the falling snow.
Nothing could be seen.
I waited a few moments more, then happily began chalking defeating a sword saint on my grand list of achievements—all the way until an echoing voice dampened my sense of satisfaction.
“See the truth amidst the falling snow, burning steps beneath the stars.”
I swept Starlight Grace towards where the Snow Dancer had been blown away.
And then—
“Snow Helix Form, 5th Stance … [Butterfly Horizon].”
I heard the voice from behind me instead.
Glancing past my shoulder, I witnessed the beautiful smile of an elven sword saint as she blinked into existence, her expression filled with simple, childish, murderous joy. And then I saw the elven sword gleaming as it absorbed the falling snow.
The sword which was now sweeping towards my neck.
​
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I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping. I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

this girl legit stared and complimented my boobs the entirety of our prom then danced on me like she was a stripper I paid for. then she always tried to kiss me, tried to switch lollipops for an indirect kiss, slapped my ass and say "I like ya cut g" or "a fluffy cake from a pretty baker" and would pull out random finger hearts when we make eye contact 😭 (she would also send me spicy pics of hersf, say the most sus lines and radiate the gayest energy) it was inevitable that I fall for her ngl. I even liked her before I liked my ex bf, but I chose him over her. ig this is my karma coz she also chose someone else over me :']
but eh, I can't blame her. The dude she chose over me was sweet AND had a 4 pack coz he trains for taekwando. like damn, she hit the jackpot and I can't even complain coz I'm lowkey happy for her.

Find me on steam trades https://www.steamtrades.com/trade/cIl1e/h-humble-bundlemonthly-w-various-only-offers-that-dont-include-list-searching
I am not an avid reddit user (or social media for that matter) and only am active when I am actively seeking a trade.
I will not look at your lists. I have a want list for a reason. Comments/offers not containing a concrete trade containing something from my want list will likely be ignored.

HAVE

Capcom Heroic Collection * Mega Man Legacy Collection * Bionic Commando Rearmed
JUNE 2022 GAMES * STAR WARS SQUADRONS (origin) * PHOENIX POINT: YEAR ONE EDITION * CALL OF THE SEA * PUMPKIN JACK * SIEGE SURVIVAL: GLORIA VICTIS * I AM FISH * SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE
CAPCOM SUMMER 2022 BUNDLE * Strider * Bionic Commando * Ultra Street Fighter® IV
MAY 2022 GAMES * SPELLCASTER UNIVERSITY * SURVIVING THE AFTERMATH * IF FOUND... * GENESIS NOIR * EMBR
APRIL 2022 GAMES * MONSTER SANCTUARY * KILLSQUAD * ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS * SUZERAIN * CHICKEN POLICE
MARCH 2022 GAMES * RED SOLSTICE 2: SURVIVORS * NEBUCHADNEZZAR * POLICE STORIES * EVAN'S REMAINS
FEBRUARY 2022 GAMES * BEFORE WE LEAVE * PARADISE LOST * EVERHOOD * CALICO
JANUARY 2022 GAMES - 8 CHOICES REMAINING * REBEL COPS * RUSTLER * FARMER'S DYNASTY * BETWEEN THE STARS * RETROWAVE * MIDNIGHT PROTOCOL
DECEMBER 2021 GAMES - 10 CHOICES REMAINING * PARTISANS 1941 * LACUNA - A SCI-FI NOIR ADVENTURE * 8 DOORS * GREAK: MEMORIES OF AZUR * FLING TO THE FINISH * TOHU * VOIDIGO
NOVEMBER 2021 GAMES - 10 CHOICES REMAINING * DUE PROCESSF * TURNIP BOY COMMITS TAX EVASION * SIMPLEROCKETS 2 * TIMELIE * WRATH: AEON OF RUIN * MÖBIUS FRONT '83
OCTOBER 2021 GAMES - 12 CHOICES REMAINING * JOHN WICK HEX * 112 OPERATOR * GUTS AND GLORY * RING OF PAIN * GARAGE: BAD TRIP * THE TEXTORCIST: THE STORY OF RAY BIBBIA * TOOLS UP * HIVESWAP FRIENDSIM * BLACK FUTURE '88 * SYBERIA 3
JUNE 2021 GAMES - 11 CHOICES REMAINING * STUBBS THE ZOMBIE IN REBEL WITHOUT A PULSE * WORMS RUMBLE + LEGENDS PACK DLC* * GOING UNDER * PANZER PALADIN * MILKY WAY PRINCE - THE VAMPIRE STAR * DESOLATE * IKENFELL * PAW PAW PAW * EFFIE * DISJUNCTION
MAY 2021 GAMES - 10 CHOICES REMAINING * HELLPOINT * COOK, SERVE, DELICIOUS! 3 * LEVELHEAD * FURY UNLEASHED * SIZE MATTERS * MORKREDD * RELICTA * RETIMED * FAMILY MAN * VANE
APRIL 2021 GAMES - 10 CHOICES REMAINING * MAIN ASSEMBLY * ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK * REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN * IN OTHER WATERS * AVEN COLONY * SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2 * COLT CANYON * SKULLY * POPUP DUNGEON
MARCH 2021 GAMES - 8 CHOICES REMAINING * WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS * HOTSHOT RACING * PEAKY BLINDERS: MASTERMIND * CYBER HOOK * PESTERQUEST * WILDFIRE * BOREAL BLADE * AGELESS
FEBRUARY 2021 GAMES - 5 CHOICES REMAINING * TRAIN STATION RENOVATION * VALFARIS * WEREWOLF: THE APOCALYPSE — HEART OF THE FOREST * LOVECRAFT'S UNTOLD STORIES * IRIS AND THE GIANT
JANUARY 2021 GAMES - 8 CHOICES REMAINING * TOTAL TANK SIMULATOR * NOT TONIGHT * VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE - SHADOWS OF NEW YORK * TALES OF THE NEON SEA * MINORIA * DELEVELED * THE AMBASSADOR: FRACTURED TIMELINES
DECEMBER 2020 GAMES - 13 CHOICES REMAINING * OVERCOOKED! 2 DLC: TOO MANY COOKS * OVERCOOKED! 2 DLC: SURF 'N' TURF PACK * INDIVISIBLE * SHINING RESONANCE REFRAIN * ZWEI: THE ARGES ADVENTURE * ZWEI: THE ILVARD INSURRECTION * TABLETOP PLAYGROUND * THE HAUNTED ISLAND, A FROG DETECTIVE GAME * FROG DETECTIVE 2: THE CASE OF THE INVISIBLE WIZARD * STILL THERE * STRUGGLING * PATH OF GIANTS
NOVEMBER 2020 GAMES - 9 CHOICES REMAINING * CRYING SUNS * SMILE FOR ME * TSIOQUE * ROVER MECHANIC SIMULATOR * YOUROPA * TOWNSMEN - A KINGDOM REREBUILT
OCTOBER 2020 GAMES - 10 CHOICES REMAINING * FAE TACTICS * IRON DANGER * AUTONAUTS * SHADOWS: AWAKENING * FANTASY BLACKSMITH * THE SUICIDE OF RACHEL FOSTER * GOAT OF DUTY * THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY * BASEMENT * LIGHTMATTER
SEPTEMBER 2020 GAMES - 7 CHOICES REMAINING * VAMPIRE: THE MASQUERADE - COTERIES OF NEW YORK * FUN WITH RAGDOLLS: THE GAME * EVOLAND LEGENDARY EDITION * YOOKA-LAYLEE AND THE IMPOSSIBLE LAIR * THE OCCUPATION * THE SHAPESHIFTING DETECTIVE
JULY 2020 GAMES - 9 choices from * VOID BASTARDS * RAILWAY EMPIRE * BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK * YUPPIE PSYCHO * BEAT HAZARD 2 * SIGMA THEORY: GLOBAL COLD WAR * METAL UNIT * DON'T ESCAPE: 4 DAYS TO SURVIVE * VERLET SWING * BASINGSTOKE * EARTHLOCK
JUNE 2020 GAMES - 7 choices from * SUPRALAND * THE MESSENGER * FELIX THE REAPER * STYGIAN: REIGN OF THE OLD ONES * REMNANTS OF NAEZITH * OVERLOAD * THE STILLNESS OF THE WIND * THE KING'S BIRD
Alien Rage Humble Bundle Gift
December 2019 Humble Monthly * Chasm * Fluffy Horde * Regular Human Basketball * Sword Legacy Omen
November 2019 Humble Monthly * 11-11 Memories Retold * Evergarden
October 2019 Humble Monthly * BATTLETECH - Flashpoint * BATTLETECH - Shadow Hawk Pack * Override: Mech City Brawl * Planet Alpha * Puss! * The Spiral Scouts
September 2019 Humble Monthly * Distance * God's Trigger * MOTHERGUNSHIP * State of Mind
August 2019 Humble Monthly * The Adventure Pals * Almost There: The Platformer * Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon * Yoku's Island Express
July 2019 Humble Monthly * Love is Dead * NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
June 2019 Humble Monthly * 911 Operator * 911 Operator - Special Resources DLC * Paratopic * Pool Panic * Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
May 2019 Humble Monthly * I'm not a Monster * The Journey Down: Chapter Three * Monster Prom * Wandersong
April 2019 Humble Monthly * Dandara * MINIT * She Remembered Caterpillars * Steel Rats * Tannenberg
March 2019 Humble Monthly * Paradigm * Slipstream
February 2019 Humble Monthly * Aaero * Bleed 2 * Rapture Rejects * Rapture Rejects - Humble Exclusive "Safari Outfit" DLC * Super Daryl Deluxe * Tom Clancy's The Division™ * Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival
January 2019 Humble Monthly * Darkside Detective * >observer_ * Q.U.B.E. 2 * Regions of Ruin * Sundered
December 2018 Humble Monthly * METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES * METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC * NeuroVoider * Overwatch Loot Box * Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator * Seven: The Days Long Gone
Yogscast Jingle Jam 2018 * Animal Super Squad * The Greater Good * Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide * Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition * Guns of Icarus Alliance Costume Pack * Guns of Icarus Alliance Soundtrack * Switchblade Starter Pack * Switchblade Epic Pack DLC * GUILTY GEAR Xrd -SIGN- * Tower 57 * Unit 4 * Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit * Freaky Awesome * Lakeview Cabin Collection * Chivalry: Medieval Warfare * Game Dev Studio * No Time To Explain Remastered * Convoy * Slime-san * Westerado: Double Barreled * Space Pilgrim Episode 1: Alpha Centauri * Don't Stand Out * Sure Footing * Race The Sun * Zero G Arena * Squidlit * LostWinds 2: Winter of the Melodias * Anomaly 2 * Anomaly Defenders * Anomaly Korea * Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign * Anomaly: Warzone Earth * Splotches * Fort Meow * Sorcery! Part 3 * The Haunting of Billy * Marvin's Mittens * Blade & Bones * Indecision. * Future Proof * Temple of Xiala * Cloudborn * Perfect Heist * Mindball Play * Clatter * Deep Dungeons of Doom * Cube Link * R-COIL * Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon * SPLASH BLAST PANIC * Dungeon Escape * Pizza Titan Ultra * Tross * Last Encounter * LOVE * Clicker bAdventure * Hello Pollution! * VoidExpanse * Super Steampunk Pinball 2D * Match Point * Board Battlefield * Grimm & Tonic * Lost in the Dungeon * In memory of TITAN * Road Doom * Hyperdrive Massacre * Lucius Demake * Blacksmith * Flux8 * Wizorb * HackyZack * Alan Wake's American Nightmare * Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
November 2018 Humble Monthly * The Dwarves * Hard Reset Redux * Sniper Elite
Steam Gifts * Rise of Nations - Steam Gift - 2 copies * Montague's Mount - Steam Gift * Little Racers STREET - Steam Gift
Humble One Special Day Bundle * Binary Domain * Crazy Taxi * OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood * Streets of Rage
October 2018 Humble Monthly * Old Man's Journey * Hidden Folks
Humble Unity Bundle * AER Memories of Old * The Final Station * Last Day of June * Oxenfree
August 2018 Humble Monthly * Forged Battalion * Kona * Pathologic Classic HD * Sudden Strike 4
Humble CRYENGINE Bundle 2018 * Aporia: Beyond the Valley * Homefront: The Revolution * The Land of Pain * Rolling Sun * Sniper Ghost Warrior 2 * Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 * SNOW Pro Pack * UAYEB
May 2018 Humble Monthly * Crazy Machines 3 * Moon Hunters
April 2018 Humble Monthly * AER Memories of Old
March 2018 Humble Monthly * Aviary Attorney * Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?! * Last Day of June * Overgrowth * Overgrowth Secret Preorder Forum (SPF) access * Splasher
February 2018 Humble Monthly * Black the Fall * The Norwood Suite * Snake Pass
Yogscast Jingle Jam 2017 * Back to Bed * Battle Riders * Bezier * Blockstorm * Bomb Defense * Caveblazers - Arena Mode DLC * Chainsaw Warrior * Chime Sharp * Chronology * ClusterPuck 99 * Cosmonautica * Crusaders of the Lost Idols - Elite Starter Pack * Deep Dungeons of Doom * Defend Your Life: TD * Dimension Jump * Distrust * Dreaming Sarah * Dungeon of the Endless * The Fall * F.E.X (Forced Evolution Experiment) * Figment Soundtrack * Filthy, Stinking, Orcs * FreeCell Quest * Guns of Icarus Alliance * Guns of Icarus Alliance Soundtrack * Guns of Icarus Alliance Yogscast 2017 Costume Pack * Gurgamoth * Headlander * Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms -- Celeste Starter Pack * The Inner World * Intelligent Design: An Evolutionary Sandbox * Lion Quest * LostWinds * Master Spy * Mimic Arena * Mirage: Arcane Warfare * Offensive Combat: Redux! * On Rusty Trails * Painters Guild * Psychonauts * ReThink * Sanctum 2 * Scanner Sombre * Scrap Garden * Spectrum * SuperLuminauts * Team Racing League * Teslagrad * Tiltagon * Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found * Wasted Pizza * Zero Reflex: Black Eye Edition
December 2017 Humble Monthly * BlazBlue: Chronophantasma Extend * Nex Machina * STRAFE: Millennium Edition
November 2017 Humble Monthly * Emily is Away Too * Silence * World to the West
Humble Day of the Devs Bundle 2017 * Everything * Grim Fandango Remastered * Loot Rascals * Loot Rascals Soundtrack * TumbleSeed
October 2017 Monthly * Orwell: Keeping an Eye On You * Scanner Sombre * Seasons After Fall * The Shrouded Isle
September 2017 Humble Monthly * Eterium * HackyZack * Stories Untold
August 2017 Humble Monthly * Nongünz * Wuppo
July 2017 Humble Monthly * Kero Blaster
June 2017 Humble Monthly * Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation * Shoppe Keep * Tiny Echo
Humble Indie Bundle 18 * A Story About My Uncle * Beholder * Neon Drive (Steam) * Steamworld Heist * Windward
Humble Intergalactic Bundle * Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition
May 2017 Humble Monthly * GoNNER - Press Jump To Die Edition * Metrico+ * Super Rude Bear Resurrection
April 2017 Humble Monthly * Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition * Slime-san * Tumblestone
March 2017 Humble Monthly * Flat Heroes * Morphblade * RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry * Space Run Galaxy * Uurnog Uurnlimited
February 2017 Humble Monthly * Husk * Okhlos * Project Highrise * Steamworld Heist

WANT

• ACE COMBAT™ 7: SKIES UNKNOWN
• CONTROL - SEASON PASS (EPIC)
• DARK SOULS III DELUXE EDITION
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• Dishonored®: Definitive Edition
• Dishonored®: Death of the Outsider
• Dying Light 2 Stay Human
• Gigantosaurus The Game
• Horizon Zero Dawn
• Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning
• Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord
• PyCharm
• Rogue Legacy 2
• Sekiro™: Shadows Die Twice - GOTY Edition
• Teardown
• Tunic
• The Callisto Protocol
• The Forgotten City
• Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales
• Uncharted Legacy Of Thieves Collection
• X4: Foundations

Hello once again everyone, it's your resident crazy cat lady here with another question. So as you can assume by my previous statement I have a cat. Now what you need to know about this cat is that she is an adventure cat. This includes drumroll please going swimming with me. Now although she will swim without complaint she does prefer to ride on a floaty. I typically just take one of those cooler floaties and cut off the lid (I only use it for the cat so this isn't an issue.) Now you may be asking how I keep her claws from popping it, and the answer is I usually put a towel in the bottom of it. But this year I want to truly fix up this floaty. So I want to make kind of like a bowl insert to go on the inside of it to protect the air filled bits from the dreaded dagger feet of my fluffy beast. But I have no idea what to use to make such insert. So what are some good fabric types I can use? And what is the best filling for it? Thank you in advance ☺️.

A little context. Brace yourselves because this will be a long text.
My wife (F38) and I (M39) dated and broke up between 2018 and 2019, we went back together in 2021 and married on 2022.
The reason we broke up was because we let people get ideas in our heads and the person in question, who will be called Edgar.
None of us did things right. I let myself be influenced by these people who, for some reason, didn't like her and she not being straightforward to Edgar about having a boyfriend.
When we started dating it eas a valentines day, a Wednesday. She used to go play board games with Edgar and that time told him she was working late instead of telling him she was going out with me. When I found out I got upset because of the love and told her I had no issue with her being her friend if he had no issues on us being a couple.
A couple of months later she asked me about a time he behaved jealously. A bit long to tell here and kind of out of context, but a red flag was raised because it was a behavior I had myself towards a woman I felt attracted to before.
I asked her again if he knew she had a boyfriend and she said no. When I asked her why and was told she didn't want to lose his friendship. I reminded her my position and told her if it is grounds for ending it he's not her friend, he's a suitor.
Time passes and he'll broke loose. On one of those games he kissed her, it ended right then and there, when he questioned her about her it wasn't a direct no, just a maybe. I was furious about her not being direct. She decided to limit her relationship with him, but I was left with a thorn on my side.
During that time she assured me they didn't go out, I believed her. Until one day she accidentally sent a meme alluding oral sex. Not her, it was a dong shape cake that threw cream at a girl.
I asked again if there was any contact and she told me that apart from Facebook nothing.
Couple of days later and with the ideas I had in my head from these awful people I went through her phone. I know it's wrong. I found a message, nothing incriminating, but in a tone of "see you later".
When I confronted her, and deserving, the discussion went to the me going through her phone part and not the supposed limited contact.
I already had Edgar's number and told her to call him, when she refused I called him the next day when I was alone.
Don't know if he said the truth or if he lied trying to get something, but long story short: he didn't know who I was, that we were dating for over a year already and told me they went out once or twice a month.
When I confronted her the discussion went on me and defending Edgar. I saw the situation as he lies or her does. When she didn't do anything to deny or confirm anything we broke up.
2021 comes, during the time we split y dated someone else and she knows. We talked again and dated.
During that time Edgar reappeared and she told me she wanted answers about what happened in 2019. I expressed my discontent, but she went anyways.
He tried to get into her head. He stalked my and my ex's social media to look for pics of us together and told her that if he showed her I was cheating she would change her mind. He refused to show her the pictures.
My wife started doubting me and I showed her I dated no one else. She insisted Edgar showed her the pictures and they were my ex's. Nothing relevant.
Things went well until I proposed. She wanted to invite Edgar and I opposed, she said it was the last opportunity for them to remain friends.
Things went south when she tried to invite him. He told her she was afraid of being single, that she was only doing it because she wanted children. That she was afraid of being a spinster and looked for the first one that was into her.
I was pretty sure that was the last time we would ever hear of him.
We married, all good, ups and downs, but enjoying it all.
Until las Monday. Edgar calls my wife to her work and says he needs psychological support. She works as one and starts having a dilemma.
She told me she knows I'm very much against it, but as a professional she had the duty to help and at least refer him to someone else.
I opened up and told her I wasn't going to be objective, that there was no reason to meet and I wished no good to him. She asked another friend and he told her she was married, but he understood her need of answers.
She spends Tuesday and Wednesday deliberating if she should go or not.
On Thursday morning she told me she hadn't made up her mind and I told her "if it's up to me, I wouldn't give him the time of day". She told me she couldn't decide unilaterally, that we are a team and cares about my opinion.
Hoping I was clear, but not prohibitive the day went on. I get a message at 5:20 telling me she will go, trying to justify her decision and that she was taking a friend in case things got awkward.
I hot the message when I was at the gym. Cut it short to avoid drama. Tried to calm down with no success.
Went home, bathed, walked the dog, trying to think about something else. Nothing.
Aside from two relapses I quit smoking 2 years ago. She went ballistic when she found out and we had an agreement to at least tell her if I smoked again. I bought a pack and went walking aimlessly trying to calm down.
I send her a message "Just to let you know. I bought cigarettes and went for a walk. If I'm sill anxious in 20 minutes I'll smoke. If I'm still upset in an hour I'm not spending the night here".
Past 20 minutes I smoke my first cigarette, then another. I get a message asking me to get snacks ready, she's coming home, then she apparently read my message.
Told her not to come back, to watch the game (big soccer match). She told me that's what she's coming back to. I stayed at a park, sitting on a bench, thinking if I should pack up for a couple days and look for a room.
She comes back, messages me, calls me and I go home
When I come back she asks me what's wrong. I told her that even married I'm second fiddle to Edgar. That he barely shows his head and she comes running.
She tells me the people that got ideas in my head had done some damage and I didn't trust her. That it was only a consultation and if she treated the person in question (his son) would imply having contact with him.
Rest of the night was normal. We went to sleep and today I was not in the mood of having breakfast with her. She took my cigarettes when I was in the bathroom.
Later she sent a message hurt because I didn't trust her. I replied I didn't think something was going to happen, but having that history with Edgar, how he wanted to split us, his lies, the things he said when she invited him and she still decided to see him. How she ignored my feelings and the half advice her friend offered her for her personal satisfaction. That in those days she was reluctant she was looking for someone to say yes to her to do something she knew was wrong.
Finally I told her she didn't care about her family, that she had no qualm on setting it aside to satisfy her personal curiosity.
I don't feel better writing this. I revive my anger and sadness for how easy it was to set aside what was behind to get answers from someone that was no longer in our lives. Answers she finally didn't get.

The story is fairly long, as a warning.
Summary: in the first version a god comes down to earth and saves the animals. An evil black cat doesn’t approve and tries to kill the god. The cats smile becomes the moon
In the second version, a fake god forces animals to do its bidding. The cat realizes this and tries to fight the fake god but dies in the process. The cats smile becomes the moon.
I haven’t written anything for a good few years now, but I’m off my meds and got into a hyper fixation of it.
Anyways, I wrote two versions of the same story. It’s supposed to come off as lore of sorts. Like, a legend that explains a bit of how things in the world happen. In this case it’s the story of how the moon came to be and animals working.
It’s a bit long—both versions together fall just short of 10 pages. I also did absolutely no planning and it all just sort of came to mind as I typed it up. To be honest I’m mostly looking for support and maybe some light critique. I’m by no means a serious writer but this was a good way to de-stress after the research paper I just turned in for class (I’m a history major). I also wrote a random scene in three different perspectives that reference this story but I’m not sure if I would really want to share those since they’re pretty basic.
Here is the “official” version of the story:
There once was a god who came down to the land. The god had heard rumors that the animals living on the land were overwhelmed with feelings of anguish and sorrow. The rumors appeared to be true. This saddened the god, who wanted everyone to experience the feelings of joy. The god then built a shrine and asked all of the animals to visit and explain why they are so sad.
The first animal to appear was a three-legged dog. The dog told the god, “I am sad because I only have three legs. I cannot run through the grass with my friends!” The god nodded in understanding to the dog's struggles.
“I understand. I will return your leg to you!” With a wave of the hand, the dogs leg grew back.
The dog pranced around the shrine. “Thank you! Thank you!”
~
The next animal to visit was a skinny horse. The horse told the god, “I am sad because my belly is always empty! I can no longer gallop around the pasture while enjoying the summer breeze!” The god listened intently.
“I hear you. I will make sure your belly is always full!” With a wave of the hand, a feast appeared before the horse. The horse ate its fill and let out a gleeful neigh.
“Thank you! Thank you!”
~
The third animal to visit was a wooly sheep. The sheep told the god, “I am sad because my wool is thick and heavy. I feel so hot and it’s hard to walk.” The god gave a slight smile.
“I feel your pain. I will relieve you of your thick and heavy coat!” With a wave of the hand the sheeps wool flew off its body and into a neat pile within the shrine. The sheep hopped around the shrine, the heavy weight lifted from its body.
“Thank you! Thank you!”
~
The final animal to visit was a black cat. The cat told the god, “I am unsure why I am sad.” The god turned their head toward the cat, confused.
“What do you mean you do not know why you feel sad?”
“It is just that, I feel very sad all the time, but I have no reason to feel so sad. I have all my legs, unlike the dog. My belly has always been full unlike the horse. My fur is smooth and cool unlike the sheep.”
“Then what is it you wish for me to do?”
“… I—I do not know...”
The god sighed and looked the cat over. Its black fur was smooth as silk and had eyes that sparkled like stars. The cat had a firm belly, well fed and healthy. There really was no reason for the cat to feel so sad. “Return to me in a month's time. Look within yourself to find what it is that makes you feel so sad.”
The cat lowered its head in disappointment and left the shrine.
~
A month passed and all of the animals were no longer stuck in their sorrow. Whenever the god walked the streets the animals would bow in the god's presence as a show of their gratitude.
Then one day the black cat reappeared at the shrine. The god had nearly forgotten about what they had told the cat a month prior. The god sits up straight on their chair and looks at the cat. “… Have you figured out what it is that makes you sad?” The glint in the cat's yellow eyes proved it was no longer sad, but something was wrong.
“Yes. I took your advice and began looking within myself to find what it was that made me so sad,” the cat's voice was low, near a growl.
“… And the fruits of your labor…?”
The god got an uneasy feeling as the cat continued, “I am sad because you have changed my friends. They are no longer who they used to be.”
The god scoffed, “You are sad because I bettered your friends' lives?”
“My friends were great as they were, but you forced them to change!”
“I am sorry you feel that way, but have you ever thought that you only felt good by putting your friends down?” The cat stepped back as the god stood. “That the only way you can be happy is if those around you are miserable?”
“I hate you!” The cat lunged at the god with its claws out. The god waved their hand and the cat froze mid-air.
The god looked at the cat and sighed. “All I wished for was the happiness of all the animals of the land. I suppose it is true I cannot make everyone happy. But I refuse to allow someone who will do nothing but harm others. Therefore, I will return your happiness to you. From here on out, your eyes will become one with the stars and you will have an endless grin to shine down on your friends at night.” With another wave of the gods hand, the cat disappeared into the sky and its smile became the crescent moon. All of the animals lived happily ever after thanks to their god.
​
So then this is the much longer version, from the cats perspective:
There once was a god who came down to the land. The god had heard rumors that the animals living on the land were overwhelmed with feelings of anguish and sorrow. The rumors appeared to be true. This saddened the god, who wanted everyone to experience the feelings of joy. The god then built a shrine and asked all of the animals to visit and explain why they are so sad.
~
The black cat was speaking to the three-legged dog about the appearance of the god. The dog spoke up. “I find myself often feeling sad when I watch others running through the grass.”
The cat sat next to the dog. “Perhaps you can talk to the god and he can help.”
“But I do not wish for you to perceive me differently if I regain my leg.”
The cat wrapped its tail around the dog's back and said, “I was your friend when you lost your leg and I will be your friend if you regain it.” This was true. When the dog had first lost its leg, it was the cat that allowed the dog to lean on it until it could walk once again, even though the cat was far smaller than the dog.
The dog returned from the shrine running at full speed. “My leg, my leg! I have my leg back!” The cat was overjoyed for its friend.
A few more days passed and the dog was always busy. At first the cat brushed it off, thinking the dog must just be doing all the things it had missed out on since it lost its leg. But the dog seemed to grow weary as time went on. The cat could not help but feel saddened by this change in its friend.
~
The cat jumped up on the stable wall to visit the horse. The cat drops an apple it had brought onto the hay bed. The horse stretches its neck out and takes a bite. “Thank you my friend. You always bring me the most delicious snacks.”
“I know you do not have enough to eat. I just wish I could bring you more.” The cat lays down on the ledge and dangles its paw down below.
“No, anything you bring me is most appreciated.” The horse finishes the apple with another bite. “I heard the dog went to see the god and got its leg back. I have thought about paying them a visit to see if they can be of help to me.”
The cat stopped flipping its tail and looked at its friend. “Well, I hope that whatever you choose brings you happiness.” The two of them stayed in the stable for the rest of the evening.
A week passed and the horse had disappeared. Everyday the cat would go to the stables to look for its friend. One day, the cat found the horse in its stall with a trough filled to the brim. “What is all this?” The cat gestured with its paw at the fruits and vegetables.
“I visited the god and was given all of this food!” The horse's belly was full and it was prancing around its stall.
The cat felt a bit uneasy hearing this news. “Oh really…? Well, I am glad you have been able to fill your belly.”
The horse dropped a perfectly red apple in front of the cat. “This is just a small repayment for all the times you have brought me something to eat.” The cat smiled and had a lovely meal with its friend.
As time drove on, the horse was out and about more. The cat would sometimes hop on its back and chat while it galloped around. Gradually, the horse seemed to be working harder and harder as time went on. Within the month the horse would often gallop past the cat before it could say a word. The cat began feeling rather lonely.
~
The sheep laid down in the shady pasture, gnawing on some grass. The cat hopped onto his back and started kneading his wool. “Oh thank you my friend.”
“I cannot take this wool off of your back, but perhaps this will thin it out.” Small bits of wool toppled to the ground.
“I heard that the god was able to help the dog and the horse. Maybe they can help me lighten my load.” The cat paused. The god had in fact helped its friends, but for some reason the cat felt sad at the thought of the sheep going to see the god. “What is wrong, friend?”
The cat continued kneading. “It is nothing. If it will make you happy, I will support you.”
“Thank you.”
A few weeks later the cat tucked bits of ice into the sheeps wool to keep it cool during its journey to see the god. The sheep thanked the cat and went off to the shrine. When the sheep returned it seemed lighter in more ways than one. But in similar fashion to the dog and the horse, the sheep seemed to grow more and more distant.
~
The sadness the cat felt as all of its friends had less and less time to visit became overwhelming. It curled up into a ball and laid in the sunshine. Perhaps I should see the god as well. The cat stood up and began preparing for the journey to the shrine. When it arrived, the cat saw the shrine decorated in gold. Many animals were working around the shrine. The cat walked through the entrance and saw the god for the first time. They were sitting on an extravagant throne, draped in white silk and decorated with gems of ruby and sapphire. The god did not acknowledge the cat's presence.
The cat told the god, “I am unsure why I am sad.” This seemed to catch the god off guard. He finally turned his focus towards the cat.
“What do you mean you do not know why you feel sad?” The god spoke in sharp tones that seemed to cut into the cat. It flinched with every word.
“It is just that, I feel very sad all the time, but I have no reason to feel so sad. I have all my legs, unlike the dog. My belly has always been full unlike the horse. My fur is smooth and cool unlike the sheep.”
“Then what is it you wish for me to do?”
The cat stumbled over its words “… I—I do not know...”
The god sighed and looked the cat over. Their eyes seemed to drill into the cat as they looked it up and down. “Return to me in a month's time. Look within yourself to find what it is that makes you feel so sad.”
The cat lowered its head in disappointment and left the shrine.
~
When the cat returned it felt defeated. Everyone else who had seen the god had returned anew. Why is it that the god could do nothing for the cat? It decided to follow the gods advice and began its mission. The cat asked around trying to find the dog. The pig snorted and said, “The dog has been sniffing around in the forest all day, everyday. Thinks it can sniff out the truffles like I can. Ha!” The cat ventured into the forest in search of the dog.
The cat eventually found the dog sniffing at a small pile of truffles it had gathered. “Dog!” The cat called out. The dog turned to look at the cat. Its youthful appearance seemingly aged by years in mere months. “Are you alright? I would love to have a chat with you if that is alright.”
The dog stared through the cat silently before turning back to its pile of truffles. “I am sorry, but I must find more truffles. It is what I am good for after all.”
“Good for…?” The cat walked in front of the dog. “You are good for a lot of things. You are good for conversation. You are good for giving advice. You are good for being my friend. What makes you think you would not be good for anything?”
The dog sighed and nudged at the truffles with its snout. “The god told me I am good for sniffing out these truffles if nothing else. They gave me back my leg. If I do not sniff out these truffles then the god may take my leg back from me.” The dog turned away from the cat. “I need to get back to it. I will try and talk to you another time,” and with that, the dog trodded off, nose to the ground, looking for those darn truffles.
~
The cat felt like a wave of pain washed over it. Why would the god tell the dog they had no better use than to sniff out truffles? And why would the god threaten to take back the leg they gave to the dog? None of this made sense to the cat, who was walking down the street when someone stepped on its tail. The cat jumped back with its back arched. “Oh my apologies! I am in such a hurry!” The horse didn’t even recognize the cat as it galloped by.
“Horse!” The cat called out.
The horse paused as it looked back at the cat. “Oh goodness, it is you! I have not seen you in so long! I am quite busy as you can see, but if you hop on my back I can give you a ride.” The cat did just that and jumped onto the horses back as it continued on its way. It had a strange harness strapped to it and was pulling a wagon behind it that looked very heavy. “Is there something you wished to speak to me about?”
“This wagon looks to be very heavy. Are you alright pulling it all on your own?”
“Oh this? Well, if I am honest with you, my muscles tend to get very sore from hauling this luggage around all day, but if I wish to keep my belly full then I must endure it.”
“Endure? If it is causing you pain then you should not continue! At the very least you should find a way to make it easier!”
“But it was the god who fed me, and it was the god who told me I must earn my fill. If I stop then my belly would fall flat again.”
The cat felt an anger boil up inside. Through gritted teeth it growled, “The god should not hold food over your head like a threat.”
“I have no other choice. No one is willing to share their food with me anymore, so I only have the god to turn to.” The horse stopped by the pasture. “I need to take a left here, so it would be best for you to hop down now. I hope we can talk again some time!”
~
The cat watched as the horse galloped down the road, heavy wagon in tow. Once the horse was out of sight, the cat jumped onto the wooden fence railing. It walked along that edge for awhile before seeing a fluffy white mountain in the distance. The cat leaped from the fence to investigate. It walked around the mound when it heard a familiar voice. “Sheep…? Is that you?” The sheeps head popped out of the wool.
“Hello cat,” the sheep panted.
“What on earth is going on?! I thought the god removed your hot and heavy wool!” The cat began trying to dig out its friends face from the never ending fibers.
“Yes, yes… the god… they did remove my wool… it just… keeps coming back… the god sends someone… out here on occasion… to collect my wool…” The sheep was burning up.
“But it was never this bad before! How did it get to this point?!” The cat desperately tried to tear away the wool to relieve its friend from the heat.
“I was feeling… very uncomfortable… awhile back… so I asked goat… to use its horns… and pull away my wool…” The sheep felt the heavy weight of its wool crushing its chest. “When the god… heard I removed the wool… they were very angry… they said I should have… dealt with the discomfort… so as punishment… the god… made the wool grow thicker… and faster… They have not returned… to remove it… in weeks…” The cat stuck out its claws and began shredding through the wool. Puffs floated away with the wind, but it hardly made a dent in the ever growing mound. “I think… it was… a mistake… to trust… the god…”
The sheep closed its eyes as the wool slowly covered its face. “No! Sheep! Please! I will keep you cool! I will not let the god get away with this! Please do not leave me!” But it was too late. The thick wool had been too hot and heavy for the sheep, who had passed away from suffocation.
~
The cat laid curled up under the stars. All of its friends were miserable. All because of the god. The god did nothing for the benefit of its friends, only using them to benefit themself. The cat had met many other animals after the sheep passed who went through similar experiences. The bird was being forced to fly across the land to deliver messages for the god. The bee is constantly producing sweet honey for the god to eat. The hen was laying eggs every day to fill the gods breakfast plate. Sure, the god did give them something in return, but the price they must pay the god was far too steep. The cat decided that it wasn’t going to let the god get away with this. It set out on its journey to kill god.
~
The cat approached the shrine with a new view of it. Decorated with gold as animals shuffled around. The monkey was busy carving away at a marble statue of the god. The cow pulling a wagon filled with the finest silks walked past. All of these animals had become slaves to the god, just as the cats friends had.
The cat entered the shrine where the god sat, lopsided on their throne. Somehow the god was decorated with even more gems and jewels than last time. They noticed the cat and became flustered, obviously having forgotten about it. “… Have you figured out what it is that makes you sad?” The cats eyes were filled with fire, the burning rage it felt knowing the god had caused its friends suffering.
“Yes. I took your advice and began looking within myself to find what it was that made me so sad,” the cat's voice was low, near a growl.
The god shifted in their chair “… And the fruits of your labor…?”
The cat continued, “I am sad because you have hurt my friends. They are no longer who they used to be.”
The god scoffed, “You are sad because I bettered your friends' lives?” The sarcasm dripped from their lips and fueled the cat's rage like gasoline.
“My friends were great as they were, but you forced them to change and become nothing more than your slaves!”
“I am sorry you feel that way, but have you ever thought that you only felt good by putting your friends down?” The cat stood its ground as the god raised from their seat. “That the only way you can be happy is if those around you are miserable? They chose this life, and they can abandon it if they so choose.”
“How can they leave when you will put them in worse condition than when they first sought you out?”
“That is merely their punishment for disobeying me.” The god waves their hand in a dismissive manner.
“My friend the sheep is dead.” The god stopped, facing away from the cat.
“… dead?”
“Yes. Dead. Because of you. It was suffocated by the wool you made grow from its back at exasperated rates.” The god gently set their hand on the arm of the throne. Perhaps they felt bad knowing they caused the death of a living being.
“That is… too bad…” The god slowly turned to sit. “I was needing more of its wool to create a blanket. I suppose the wool that killed it is contaminated by now, making it useless.
Time stopped. Or perhaps it didn’t, but that is how it felt to the cat. It felt nothing. Not the breeze from the open door, nor the sunlight streaming in through the window. It was as though the last ounce of hope had been sucked out of the cats body. “… that is my friend you are speaking of…”
The god glanced at the cat, eyes full of contempt. “And your friend is now dead. There is nothing you can do about it.”
“… you are no god…” the cat muttered.
The god whipped their head toward the cat, face contorted in rage. “I AM GOD!”
“You are no god.” The cat stood firm and refused to break eye contact with the fake god.
“I AM GOD!” The fake gods' rage brought upon a storm. The wind whipped around the room and the sun became black.
“YOU. ARE. NO. GOD.” The fake god flailed their arms about as their tantrum grew. They screamed and yelled that they were, in fact, a god. The cat did not budge from its place.
“I hate you!” The fake god screeched. It lifted the cat from the ground. “I will kill you too!”
Finally the cat made its move. It stuck out its claws and scratched the fake gods eyes. They threw the cat across the room and it slammed against the wall. The fake god held their hands to their face as blood leaked between their fingers. “What have you done to me?! I am god!”
The cat was no warrior. It could feel the life slowly draining from its body. “… you… are… no… god…” The fake god shriveled into a ball as they wailed out in pain. The cat was happy to hear it. At least it had gotten revenge for its friends.
~
“… tragedy…”
What is this sound?
“… do not… this…”
It sounds so sweet, like sugar dropped in a cup of tea.
“… poor thing…”
There was a hand stroking the cats side as it lay dying in the shrine of the fake god. The hand was soft and delicate, careful as it caressed the cats broken body. The cat was able to muster enough strength to look at the owner of this kind hand. It belonged to the god. Not the fake god, but the real one.
“Are you conscious? I am so sorry for what my sibling has done to you and your friends. They were not always like this. There was a time when that sweet child would cling to my skirts and beg me to play with them. Perhaps I should have played with them… Then they would not have grown to become like this…” The cat no longer felt the pain of death consuming it. “I cannot give you life and I cannot apologize enough for the suffering my sibling has caused. I intend to return home with them, so they will never be able to harm anyone again. As for you, the least I can do is give you a place in the sky, so you can always guard over your friends for all eternity.”
“… the night…” the cat wheezed.
“The night? Do you wish for your eyes to be stars in the night sky? That would be rather fitting as they sparkle and shine.”
“… I wish… to be a light… in the darkness of night… my friends… always said… my smile… lit up the room…”
The true god gave a gentle smile as they brushed the cat's fur, its chest rising and falling less and less. “… If that is what you wish, then I will make your smile into the moon, so even when darkness comes, there will always be a light.”
The cat gave a toothy grin to the god. “… thank… you…” The cat died.
The god lifted the small body of the black cat and cradled it in its arms. Night had already fallen since the cat's earnest battle with the gods' younger sibling. The god lifted the cats body into the air. A gentle breeze took the cat away into the night sky, where a crescent moon began to glow. The black cat was happy at last.

Toll the Hounds 22-epilogue

Welcome

Spoilers TtH

Find the announcement post here
Important: This is the discussion post for new readers. If you have ever attempted this book before, please don't talk about any events from later chapters. Err on the side of caution and use spoiler tags if you're not sure. Head to the Spoilers MBotF discussion post if you are rereading.
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We created a quick reference including character summaries and some plot reminders to help you along.

Maps

With narrow exceptions, Toll the Hounds takes place on Genabackis. Darujhistan itself is absolutely central, though we will also visit the new Andii home in Black Coral, wander the territory of the former Pannion Domin, and follow the route Tool, Toc, etc. took across the Lamatath Plain. There is also one location, the Reach of Woe, that hasn't been pinned down on any world map and may or may not be on Genebackis at all.

Summaries

It's about 18 hours later than I'd intended, but let's wrap this thing out.

Chapter 22

Des'Ban of Nemil gives us an epigraph about, to be trite, living in the moment. You can no more fight your past than rail against your future and must deal with yourself in the now. While the attribution makes this about soldiers, it would seem to address one character's motivations above all others. But that's getting well ahead of ourselves.
Samar rides behind Karsa on Havok, following Traveller towards Darujhistan. The closer they get the more clear it becomes that the city is under extreme duress. As is Traveller, who seems drawn, perhaps even compelled, to march on.
Eventually even Havok can't take the tension and Karsa lets him run free. The Toblakai plans to follow Traveller, to guard his back. Samar reluctantly agrees to join him. The ancient bear god is still trailing them as well. They set out on the last leg of their journey. Samar makes explicit something that has already bothered several characters: the moon is missing.
Kallor is also on his final approach. He ponders convergence as he walks. As an immortal human, he has a broader view of the phenomenon than his kin:

But Kallor understood that the events they described and pored over after the fact were but concentrated expressions of something far vaster. Entire ages converged, in chaos and tumult, in the anarchy of Nature itself. And more often than not, very few comprehended the disaster erupting all around them. No, they simply went on day after day with their pathetic tasks, eyes to the ground, pretending that everything was just fine.

And apparently I'm going to quote Kallor at length since his own take on compassion is worth at least considering:

Compassion is not a replacement for stupidity. Tearful concern cannot stand in the stead of cold recognition. Sympathy does not cancel out the hard facts of brutal, unwavering observation. It was too easy, too cheap, to fret and wring one’s hands, moaning with heartfelt empathy – it was damned self-indulgent, in fact, providing the perfect excuse for doing precisely nothing while assuming a pious pose.

The High King comes to a crossroads where torches light each approach and knows something is wrong. Spinnock Durav greets him and tells him he cannot go to Darujhistan.
Kallor is incandescent with rage, not at being waylaid, but at Spinnock's hopeless stand in Rake's name. He doesn't want to kill Spinnock, but he knows that's where the night is heading. In fact, he likes Spinnock and has nothing against any of the Andii. He even regrets killing Whiskeyjack:

‘Did you think it was my intention to murder Whiskeyjack? Do you think I just cut down honourable men and loyal soldiers out of spite? You weren’t even there! It was Silverfox who needed to die, and that is a failure we shall all one day come to rue. Mark my words. Ah, gods, Spinnock. _They got in my way, damn you! Just as you’re doing now!_’
....
‘Does it occur, to any of you, what these things do to me? No, of course not. The High King is cursed to fail, but never to fall. The High King is but…what? Oh, the physical manifestation of ambition. Walking proof of its inevitable price. Fine.’ He readied his two-handed weapon. ‘Fuck you, too.’

And so they begin their fight.
Across the bay from Coral, Clip has found enough remnants of Kurald Galain to open a gate to the city. Nimander waits, feeling exhausted by the ordeal of hiding his intentions, by the need to wait and plan without saying anything to anyone. Clip is winning this exchange and Nimander feels trapped. He has to trust that he will know the time to act and that his companions will follow his lead.^[1]
Suddenly, Clip succeeds and darts into his gate. Nenanda is the first to follow and gets stabbed for his trouble. Clip taunts Nimander over his fallen kin. The god inside him can't allow the other Andii to follow too closely. It knows that they know and will try to stop it.
Nimander is trapped in utter darkness as Clip's laughter recedes. He can't see or hear anyone else, but suddenly Phaed's long-quiescent voice appears. She calls him pathetic and taunts him, but she does help, urging Nimander to reach deep inside himself for the blood of dragons.
Out of nowhere -- everything around him is nowhere, so that's not a shock -- Aranatha appears. She pulls Nimander forward into the darkness.
In the spiritual world, Salind prepares to attack the Redeemer, to bring him perfect faith.^[2] Her body is in Gradithan's hut, overflowing with saemankelyk. Monkrat looks on, disgusted. Gradithan also has a Kadaspala moment^[3] as he pours more saemankelyk into he mouth:

‘Time,’ he muttered, ‘and time, time, time, the time. Is now.’

Monkrat watches and reflects on the nature of belief and... I'm just going to quote a lot this time around (emphasis mine for a change):

Everyone needed a god. Slapped together and shaped with frantic hands, a thing of clay and sticks. Built up of wants and all those unanswerable questions that plagued the mortal soul. Neuroses carved in stone. Malign obsessions given a hard, judgemental face – he had seen them, all the variations, in city after city, on the long campaigns of the Malazan Empire. They lined the friezes in temples; they leered down from balustrades. Ten thousand gods, one for every damned mood, it seemed. A pantheon of exaggerated flaws.^[4]

Monkrat slips out and Spindle tells him they have to get the children out of the camp. Monkrat is aghast; he didn't mean to actually commit to help. Spindle absolutely insists and refers back to their time in the army. We get a slightly-too-on-the-nose argument from Dassem back when he was First Sword:

‘Do what’s right,’ Dassem told us. Gods, even after all this time he still remembered the First Sword’s words. ‘That’s a higher law than the command of any officer. Higher even than the Emperor’s own words. You are in a damned uniform but that’s not a licence to deliver terror to everyone – just the enemy soldier you happen to be facing. Do what is right, for that armour you wear doesn’t just protect your flesh and bone. It defends honour. It defends integrity. It defends justice. Soldiers, heed me well. That armour defends humanity. And when I look upon my soldiers, when I see these uniforms, I see compassion and truth. The moment those virtues fail, then the gods help you, for no armour is strong enough to save you.’^[5]

Monkrat agrees to help Spindle (and we get the first of several instances of Spindle mangling Gradithan's name). He leads Spindle to where the children hide from the rain.
Inside the barrow, Segda Travos watches Itkovian grapple with the situation. The Redeemer concludes that the Dying God might need his help. Segda is shocked.
Salind is growing arms, readying her attack. Itkovian tells Seerdomin to find Salind deep inside the apparition. Segda should fight not for Itkovian but for Spinnock. Segda sobs, but he agrees to try. For his friend, not for a god he doesn't believe is worth saving.
Picker, meanwhile, is falling through a different spiritual space.^[6] As she senses the ground approaching she wills herself upright and slows, landing on bedrock littered with bones and snail shells. It smells like the den of a predator.
She finds a series of gourds, each filled with blood. She sees a drawing on the wall of a carriage. But the drawing is moving, the carriage approaching. She just stares.
In Black Coral, Endest Silann prepares to defend his people. He wonders if it's worth it, thinking back on the destruction of the forests of Kharkanas and the search for someone to blame. Mother Dark turned away and left them to the fates they created leaving only her people to blame themselves. The people, the Tiste Andii, did not rise to the occasion; they ducked.
Except for Anomander Rake. He did what no one else did and stood tall:

Is his own burden not enough? Why must he carry ours? Why have we done this to him? Why, because it’s easier that way, and we so cherish the easy paths, do we not? The least of effort defines our virtues. Trouble us not, for we dislike being troubled.
The children are hungry. The forests are dead, the rivers poisoned. Calamity descends again and again. Diseases flower like mushrooms on corpses. And soon we will war over what’s left. As we did in Kharkanas.
He will take this burden, but what does that mean? That we are freed to stay unchanging? Freed to continue doing nothing?

And yes, this is how Endest Silann prepares. He's a dour one.
Silanah still watches, ready to intervene, but Endest is the last non-nuclear option. He waits.
Traveller is still plodding towards Darujhistan, Karsa and Samar Dev in tow. Samar can barely stay upright, overwhelmed by the pressure (presumably Hood's arrival plus Dragnipur unveiled) emanating from the city. Karsa urges her to concentrate and build walls in her mind so they can continue. The pressure is less when Karsa stands between her and the city but it's not enough.
She manages her walls and they continue. A mob of people clamors out of the city. Samar turns around to see the bear god framed by a rising shattered moon, which now casts bright light over the city. They continue on.
Chillbais observes Traveller's arrival and wings off to Baruk. He wants nothing to do with the entire situation.
Inside the gates, Karsa and Samar watch from a distance as Cotillion, flanked by Hounds, approaches Traveller. They exchange words. Karsa holds the witch back from hearing; the words are not for them (and, Samar admits, she couldn't keep her mouth shut if she could hear).
Whatever Cotillion has to say hits Traveller and he winces but he makes some kind of choice. He cries out and Cotillion steps aside. As Traveller moves on, Cotillion clearly feels the weight of the exchange. The Rope disappears and his Hounds wander off.
Samar and Karsa continue to follow Traveller as she realizes that they are approaching the nexus of power in the city.
Inside Dragnipur, Ditch speaks with the newly-born god, who is railing at the injustice of its existence. But everything is born to die, as Ditch offers. Ditch isn't impressed; the godling isn't much more than a miniature Kadaspala.^[7]
Pearl is making peace as it softly weeps and awaits its destruction. It doesn't hate Tayschrenn, who bound it, or Quick Ben, who unleashed it against impossible odds, or Anomander Rake, who bound it to Dragnipur.
Draconus appears and apologizes to Pearl for making Dragnipur in the first place. Pearl says it is sorry to see the end of so many enemies working together, forced to join hands. Draconus is speechless.
Meanwhile, Apsal'ara makes her way towards the gate under the wagon. A pattern is steaming out of the gate. She steels herself and throws her chain into the unfathomable cold.^[8]
Draconus leaves Pearl. He knows that Kadaspala's godling was a failure. It was a desperate gambit anyhow; what they really needed was for Rake to kill a few powerful entities to keep the wagon in motion. But Draconus also forgives Rake, though perhaps for the wrong reasons as he sees Rake's refusal as a sort of nihilism.
Suddenly, and with overwhelming force, Hood arrives. Draconus rapidly reconsiders his forgiveness of Rake. Hood's arrival pushes back Chaos, but it's not enough.
Draconus confronts Hood, but Hood hasn't arrived alone. The legions of the dead follow him into Dragnipur.
Draconus still can't get his head around Hood's arrival. What will happen to the dead without Hood?

‘So who will claim the dead?’
‘Let the gods see to their own.’
The coldness of that response staggered Draconus. ‘And what of those who worship no gods?’
‘Yes, what of them?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘After this,’ Hood said, still studying the wagon, ‘the dead will not be my concern. Ever again.’^[9]

The dead assemble before Hood and Draconus. The Second is cantankerous as usual, but Hood tells the Seguleh that he will not lead the dead into battle. For him, there is another task.
Iskar Jarak -- yes, Whiskeyjack, in case the chapter 14 epigraph wasn't enough to drive that home -- will lead the dead. Around him, the Grey Swords, Wickans, and fallen Seguleh will reinforce the core. Beyond that, the army of the dead isn't much to brag about. Hood orders the wagon to turn around to face the forces of Chaos.

Chapter 23

Fisher gives us a brief meditation on death, which certainly fits, as the ox finds himself trying to avoid just that. The city stinks of blood and echoes with screams and the poor beast isn't having it, careening through streets and alleys.
It's not alone, either. Everyone is running around, trying to flee the Hounds. Or at least everyone who doesn't know what's happening; Iskaral Pust is preparing to ride out on his trusty mule, surrounded by his hoard of bhokarala and swarmed by spiders.^[10]
Across the city, Baran ambushes Pallid, throwing the Hound of Light into a fortified building surrounded by (now dead) guards: the city jail. They crash into Barathol's cell, releasing him but bringing the ceiling down on one leg. Pallid prepares to attack the human when someone charges into it: Chaur.
Chaur throws Barathol his axe and collects a giant rock. Barathol can see where this is going and desperately scrambles free, tearing his leg. Chaur's throw hits Pallid, but the Hound throws him into a wall. Baran returns and drives Pallid off in time for Barathol to scramble out and find Chaur unmoving but still alive.
Antsy, also freed from the jail's destruction, finds them. The Bridgeburner isn't optimistic; Chaur is bleeding into his brain. Barathol is determined to find a healer even if it means carrying Chaur, but just then the ox and his cart arrive. The beast is more than happy to resume a set role, carrying a body as a man guides them somewhere.
Rallick and Torvald watch the city from Vorcan's roof.^[11] Studlock drags the unconscious Seguleh guards to the courtyard and starts ministering healing. Tor is consciously avoiding looking at, or even thinking about, the shattered moon. Rallick leaves with Vorcan to join Baruk.
Scorch and Leff are still patrolling the streets and alleys around the compound looking for a Hound to kill. They may have proven competent, but they're still not smart. Leff wants teeth to make a necklace and a paw as... a club? It's not clear. Scorch wants a skull with which to make a boat.
A Hound of Shadow appears and the pair trains crossbows on it. The Hound decides it has better things to do and disappears.

‘Next time,’ muttered Leff. ‘We shoot first and argue later.’
‘Good idea. Next time. We’ll do it right the next time.’

Somehow these two live.
Cutter rides from the docks into the city carrying the metal lance. The Hounds make him think of Apsalar, of the night she left and the morning he found out. He believes that she made him into what he is, into the man who could match blades with Rallick Nom.^[12]
He knows the Hounds and supposes they won't attack him, but he hates the destruction they bring to his city. He blames Shadowthrone or Cotillion, which... yeah, that checks out.
Cutter resolves, not for bad reasons, to leave in the morning after telling Challice he killed Gorlas:

Cutter knew now that he had – since her – taken into his arms two women as if they were capable of punishing him, each in turn. Only one had succeeded, and he rode towards her now, to stand before her and tell her that he had murdered her husband. Not because she had asked him to, because, in truth, she did not have that sort of hold over him, and never would.

But that won't end up happening. Challice, snow globe in hand, ponders her life from the top of the abandoned tower. She knows the globe for what it is:

She looked down once more at the imprisoned moon cupped in her hands. And here, she realized, was her childhood in all its innocence. Frozen, timeless, and for ever beyond her reach. She need only let her gaze sink in, to find all that she had once been. Cursed with beauty, blessed with health and vigour, the glow of promise—

She jumps, finally free. She and the globe shatter on the ground.^[13]
Kruppe leaves the Phoenix Inn and saddles his mule as it lashes out at him. He rides out into the city to provide "a blunt barrier" after offering commentary on Rake and his moment of vulnerability:

What sort of man is this? This white-maned Tiste Andii whose hands remain stained with a brother’s blood, a people’s vast loss?
Ah, but look closely. The core burns still, hot and pure, and it gathers unto itself, bound by indomitable will. He will take the wounds of the heart, for Anomander Rake is the sort of man who sees no other choice, who accepts no other choice.
Still. For now, grant him a few more moments of peace.

"No struggle to vast, no odds too overwhelming," etc. The sense of impending doom is palpable.
Antsy leads the ox to Baruk's estate and pulls the cord. The High Alchemist is indeed home, but he's on his way out and can't heal Chaur. Barathol is crushed, but Antsy gets one more idea. They head further into the Estates District.
Chaur, meanwhile, is dying. We get a touching look inside his mind as a series of disconnected sparks slowly being extinguished. But in that extremity, the sparks find something new: mutual recognition.
Barathol weeps as they arrive behind Coll's estate. Antsy stops to pick something up off the street and they continue on to the Finnest House. They carry Chaur to the door and Raest answers. He's happily ensconced in his prison, oblivious to the night around him. He does note that earlier in the night a T'lan Imass came to visit but the House took him (and yes, that's Dev'ad Anan Tol, Harrlo's friend from so many chapters ago it feels like a different book).
Raest is disinclined to help since Antsy has already reneged on their last bargain; Raest still wants his dead cat. Luckily, that's exactly what Antsy paused to pick up. Raest acquiesces and names the cat Tufty.^[14]
They get Chaur inside the Azath and he stops dying. His mind sets off on a journey of self-discovery.
Spite and Envy stop in the middle of trying to destroy one another. They sense Dragnipur and both want it, the sword that is their father's legacy. Together, Anomander can't oppose them, weakened as he his. They set out to kill Rake (all while plotting against each other; Eleint sisters apparently just do that).
For once, Karsa's stubborn certainty has shaken. He and Samar follow Traveller at some distance. They are there to witness, not to interfere.
Traveller comes before Rake. Traveller -- Dassem, as Rake addresses him -- can sense Hood close, but Rake won't stand aside to let the First Sword fulfill his vengeance.^[15] The cult of Dessembrae emerges to witness their god and Great Ravens alight on every building.
Stricken with grief, Dassem Ultor attacks. Karsa is struck absolutely numb; he finally found warriors he's not sure he can oppose.
Suddenly, the fight is over. Even Samar can tell something went wrong. Dragnipur ended up embedded in Rake's face, killing him. Dassem screams in anguish and the Ravens take flight. Karsa knows Rake cheated, that he chose to be killed and sorely used Dassem.
All over the city, forces can sense Rake's death and Dragnipur's... availability. Light streams in. The rest of the Hounds of Light join Pallid and Lock, ten in total. They are here for the sword of perfect justice. Overhead, Tulas Shorn is less than pleased.
Pust and his menagerie ride -- slowly -- towards the sword he plans to claim in his own name. He somehow stares down three Hounds of Light, but eventually he meets his match: Kruppe himself.
There's no way I'm summarizing this. They clash, Kruppe escapes, the end. It's a fun passage but you should reread it if you want a blow by blow.
Forces converge on Rake's corpse. Spite and Envy emerge and the Hounds of Shadow prowl towards them. Baruk sets out in his carriage, weeping. He has lost a friend and the world has lost a power for good.
Cutter rides in. He sees Rake's corpse and has an entirely reasonable response: "We are in trouble." Samar tells him that Dassem Ultor killed Rake and Cutter doesn't put things together until she mentions the name Traveller.
Karsa urges Cutter to help defend Rake's body. He also wants Samar to get Dassem on his feet for the defense. And again, this is Karsa Orlong deciding he's not enough.
Karsa introduces himself and Cutter answers:

The giant glanced at him. ‘Yes,’ he said with a sharp nod. ‘I am Karsa Orlong of the Teblor. Toblakai. And you?’
‘Crokus. Crokus Younghand.’ He hesitated, then said, ‘I was once a thief.’
‘Be one again,’ said Karsa, teeth bared, ‘and steal me a Hound’s life this night.’
Shit. ‘I’ll try.’
‘That will do,’ the Toblakai replied.^[16]

The Hounds of Light charge just as a gate opens and someone takes Crokus's lance.
Spinnock is losing. Kallor has hammered him with blows and his armor is coming apart. He lost his helmet and still Kallor keeps coming. All he can do is block and dodge, but finally his sword shatters. Kallor catches him across the chest, throwing the Andii to the ground. Spinnock smiles up at the High King.

‘What,’ Kallor asked softly, ‘was the point, Spinnock Durav?’
But the fallen warrior did not answer.
‘You could never win. You could never do anything but die here. Tell me, damn you, _what was the fucking point?_’

Kallor tells Spinnock that Rake doesn't deserve him. Spinnock apologizes to Kallor, offers him condolences for how driven he is, how blinded he is, how irredeemable he is in the eyes of the world. Kallor damn near loses it but calms down. Spinnock did what he came to do: not hurt Kallor, but delay him, prevent him from reaching Darujhistan in time.
Kallor realizes that Rake is dead. He understands the plan and chooses to let Spinnock bleed out peacefully.
As Kallor walks off, Crone and her kin descend along with two dragons. One, Orfantal, follows Kallor and scoops him up. The other, Korlat, helps Crone tend to Spinnock's wounds. They go to leave and Spinnock leaves his broken sword behind.
But Kallor isn't quite done yet. He manages to pull loose his sword and put it in the dragon's neck. They fall to the ground and Orfantal sembles, bleeding from a deep wound, and falls to the ground.^[17]

Notes

^[1]: Again, contrast how Nimander thinks of himself here and how everyone else sees him. He's worn down and he dwells in failure. Meanwhile, his kin will follow him into death if need be.
^[2]: Note that this is (ambiguously) a Kruppe interlude. In Black Coral. The very structure of the book is breaking down.
^[3]: I don't think there's anything more than thematic connection to read into this, but it is interesting that we now have a third character adopting madness coding in the exact same speech pattern.
^[4]: This dichotomy of questions and answers continues to play out. It's another case where I don't know how deliberate Erikson was but it's clearly central to the exploration of faith around which this plot pivots.
^[5]: tGiNW: Anyone who thinks the marines' response to Teblor refugees was out of character should come back to this passage. Is it, like I said, too direct for my taste? Sure. Is it consistent? Absolutely.
^[6]: DoD: Interestingly, we get Picker reflecting on the eyes of a dying goat here. Her thoughts, while not as detailed, track somewhat with Deadsmell's observations from DoD 9. Just in much less detail. But I get ahead of myself; I'll probably end up spending an entire summary just on that passage.
^[7]: Kadaspala count: four.
^[8]: There's a somewhat interesting thermodynamic aside here. The way Darkness is portrayed here is the manifestation of absence of all energy, a zone of absolute zero temperature. Opposing this with Chaos -- entropy -- is an odd concept given our understanding of thermodynamics.
^[9]: And with that we get the first hint of Hood's purpose here.
^[10]: We'll just leave off the fact that he apparently managed to woo Sordiko Qualm.
^[11]: It's quite sweet how much they both clearly like Tiserra, each in their own way.
^[12]: He's painfully close here, but still very wrong. He'll get there.
^[13]: I've had my say on Challice elsewhere. She's both awful and profoundly tragic at the same time. She didn't deserve to be punished with Gorlas, but she and Cutter weren't badly matched here, both searching for identities and feelings of freedom that were never coming back to them.
^[14]: The cat will always be Tufty to me. I know the name apparently shifts to Fluffy in OST, but Tufty is still canon.
^[15]: I'd be utterly remiss not to bring up Dassem's sword here. Andarist told Cutter it was named both Vengeance and Grief; Dassem seems to hold both simultaneously. Oh, and as will be pointed out shortly: it's Rake's sword. The two men really do understand one another on absolutely tragic levels.
^[16]: And so Crokus finally reclaims himself. He's not Cutter, he's not someone that Apsalar made in her image, he's not Murillio, and he's not Challice's toy. Unlike Challice, he finds a way to balance being himself ("Crokus. Crokus Younghand") while still allowing himself to change ("I was once a thief"). I don't entirely like Crokus, but this moment always gets me. He has found a way to live in the world as it is.
^[17]: tKT: I want Orfantal to end up in the coyote from chapter 21 but I'm increasingly convinced he's dead.

Toll the Hounds 22-epilogue

Welcome

Spoilers TtH

Find the announcement post here
Important: This is the discussion post for new readers. If you have ever attempted this book before, please don't talk about any events from later chapters. Err on the side of caution and use spoiler tags if you're not sure. Head to the Spoilers MBotF discussion post if you are rereading.
A note for re-readers: Please don't bring up any series wide spoilers in this discussion.
We created a quick reference including character summaries and some plot reminders to help you along.

Maps

With narrow exceptions, Toll the Hounds takes place on Genabackis. Darujhistan itself is absolutely central, though we will also visit the new Andii home in Black Coral, wander the territory of the former Pannion Domin, and follow the route Tool, Toc, etc. took across the Lamatath Plain. There is also one location, the Reach of Woe, that hasn't been pinned down on any world map and may or may not be on Genebackis at all.

Summaries

It's about 18 hours later than I'd intended, but let's wrap this thing out.

Chapter 22

Des'Ban of Nemil gives us an epigraph about, to be trite, living in the moment. You can no more fight your past than rail against your future and must deal with yourself in the now. While the attribution makes this about soldiers, it would seem to address one character's motivations above all others. But that's getting well ahead of ourselves.
Samar rides behind Karsa on Havok, following Traveller towards Darujhistan. The closer they get the more clear it becomes that the city is under extreme duress. As is Traveller, who seems drawn, perhaps even compelled, to march on.
Eventually even Havok can't take the tension and Karsa lets him run free. The Toblakai plans to follow Traveller, to guard his back. Samar reluctantly agrees to join him. The ancient bear god is still trailing them as well. They set out on the last leg of their journey. Samar makes explicit something that has already bothered several characters: the moon is missing.
Kallor is also on his final approach. He ponders convergence as he walks. As an immortal human, he has a broader view of the phenomenon than his kin:

But Kallor understood that the events they described and pored over after the fact were but concentrated expressions of something far vaster. Entire ages converged, in chaos and tumult, in the anarchy of Nature itself. And more often than not, very few comprehended the disaster erupting all around them. No, they simply went on day after day with their pathetic tasks, eyes to the ground, pretending that everything was just fine.

And apparently I'm going to quote Kallor at length since his own take on compassion is worth at least considering:

Compassion is not a replacement for stupidity. Tearful concern cannot stand in the stead of cold recognition. Sympathy does not cancel out the hard facts of brutal, unwavering observation. It was too easy, too cheap, to fret and wring one’s hands, moaning with heartfelt empathy – it was damned self-indulgent, in fact, providing the perfect excuse for doing precisely nothing while assuming a pious pose.

The High King comes to a crossroads where torches light each approach and knows something is wrong. Spinnock Durav greets him and tells him he cannot go to Darujhistan.
Kallor is incandescent with rage, not at being waylaid, but at Spinnock's hopeless stand in Rake's name. He doesn't want to kill Spinnock, but he knows that's where the night is heading. In fact, he likes Spinnock and has nothing against any of the Andii. He even regrets killing Whiskeyjack:

‘Did you think it was my intention to murder Whiskeyjack? Do you think I just cut down honourable men and loyal soldiers out of spite? You weren’t even there! It was Silverfox who needed to die, and that is a failure we shall all one day come to rue. Mark my words. Ah, gods, Spinnock. _They got in my way, damn you! Just as you’re doing now!_’
....
‘Does it occur, to any of you, what these things do to me? No, of course not. The High King is cursed to fail, but never to fall. The High King is but…what? Oh, the physical manifestation of ambition. Walking proof of its inevitable price. Fine.’ He readied his two-handed weapon. ‘Fuck you, too.’

And so they begin their fight.
Across the bay from Coral, Clip has found enough remnants of Kurald Galain to open a gate to the city. Nimander waits, feeling exhausted by the ordeal of hiding his intentions, by the need to wait and plan without saying anything to anyone. Clip is winning this exchange and Nimander feels trapped. He has to trust that he will know the time to act and that his companions will follow his lead.^[1]
Suddenly, Clip succeeds and darts into his gate. Nenanda is the first to follow and gets stabbed for his trouble. Clip taunts Nimander over his fallen kin. The god inside him can't allow the other Andii to follow too closely. It knows that they know and will try to stop it.
Nimander is trapped in utter darkness as Clip's laughter recedes. He can't see or hear anyone else, but suddenly Phaed's long-quiescent voice appears. She calls him pathetic and taunts him, but she does help, urging Nimander to reach deep inside himself for the blood of dragons.
Out of nowhere -- everything around him is nowhere, so that's not a shock -- Aranatha appears. She pulls Nimander forward into the darkness.
In the spiritual world, Salind prepares to attack the Redeemer, to bring him perfect faith.^[2] Her body is in Gradithan's hut, overflowing with saemankelyk. Monkrat looks on, disgusted. Gradithan also has a Kadaspala moment^[3] as he pours more saemankelyk into he mouth:

‘Time,’ he muttered, ‘and time, time, time, the time. Is now.’

Monkrat watches and reflects on the nature of belief and... I'm just going to quote a lot this time around (emphasis mine for a change):

Everyone needed a god. Slapped together and shaped with frantic hands, a thing of clay and sticks. Built up of wants and all those unanswerable questions that plagued the mortal soul. Neuroses carved in stone. Malign obsessions given a hard, judgemental face – he had seen them, all the variations, in city after city, on the long campaigns of the Malazan Empire. They lined the friezes in temples; they leered down from balustrades. Ten thousand gods, one for every damned mood, it seemed. A pantheon of exaggerated flaws.^[4]

Monkrat slips out and Spindle tells him they have to get the children out of the camp. Monkrat is aghast; he didn't mean to actually commit to help. Spindle absolutely insists and refers back to their time in the army. We get a slightly-too-on-the-nose argument from Dassem back when he was First Sword:

‘Do what’s right,’ Dassem told us. Gods, even after all this time he still remembered the First Sword’s words. ‘That’s a higher law than the command of any officer. Higher even than the Emperor’s own words. You are in a damned uniform but that’s not a licence to deliver terror to everyone – just the enemy soldier you happen to be facing. Do what is right, for that armour you wear doesn’t just protect your flesh and bone. It defends honour. It defends integrity. It defends justice. Soldiers, heed me well. That armour defends humanity. And when I look upon my soldiers, when I see these uniforms, I see compassion and truth. The moment those virtues fail, then the gods help you, for no armour is strong enough to save you.’^[5]

Monkrat agrees to help Spindle (and we get the first of several instances of Spindle mangling Gradithan's name). He leads Spindle to where the children hide from the rain.
Inside the barrow, Segda Travos watches Itkovian grapple with the situation. The Redeemer concludes that the Dying God might need his help. Segda is shocked.
Salind is growing arms, readying her attack. Itkovian tells Seerdomin to find Salind deep inside the apparition. Segda should fight not for Itkovian but for Spinnock. Segda sobs, but he agrees to try. For his friend, not for a god he doesn't believe is worth saving.
Picker, meanwhile, is falling through a different spiritual space.^[6] As she senses the ground approaching she wills herself upright and slows, landing on bedrock littered with bones and snail shells. It smells like the den of a predator.
She finds a series of gourds, each filled with blood. She sees a drawing on the wall of a carriage. But the drawing is moving, the carriage approaching. She just stares.
In Black Coral, Endest Silann prepares to defend his people. He wonders if it's worth it, thinking back on the destruction of the forests of Kharkanas and the search for someone to blame. Mother Dark turned away and left them to the fates they created leaving only her people to blame themselves. The people, the Tiste Andii, did not rise to the occasion; they ducked.
Except for Anomander Rake. He did what no one else did and stood tall:

Is his own burden not enough? Why must he carry ours? Why have we done this to him? Why, because it’s easier that way, and we so cherish the easy paths, do we not? The least of effort defines our virtues. Trouble us not, for we dislike being troubled.
The children are hungry. The forests are dead, the rivers poisoned. Calamity descends again and again. Diseases flower like mushrooms on corpses. And soon we will war over what’s left. As we did in Kharkanas.
He will take this burden, but what does that mean? That we are freed to stay unchanging? Freed to continue doing nothing?

And yes, this is how Endest Silann prepares. He's a dour one.
Silanah still watches, ready to intervene, but Endest is the last non-nuclear option. He waits.
Traveller is still plodding towards Darujhistan, Karsa and Samar Dev in tow. Samar can barely stay upright, overwhelmed by the pressure (presumably Hood's arrival plus Dragnipur unveiled) emanating from the city. Karsa urges her to concentrate and build walls in her mind so they can continue. The pressure is less when Karsa stands between her and the city but it's not enough.
She manages her walls and they continue. A mob of people clamors out of the city. Samar turns around to see the bear god framed by a rising shattered moon, which now casts bright light over the city. They continue on.
Chillbais observes Traveller's arrival and wings off to Baruk. He wants nothing to do with the entire situation.
Inside the gates, Karsa and Samar watch from a distance as Cotillion, flanked by Hounds, approaches Traveller. They exchange words. Karsa holds the witch back from hearing; the words are not for them (and, Samar admits, she couldn't keep her mouth shut if she could hear).
Whatever Cotillion has to say hits Traveller and he winces but he makes some kind of choice. He cries out and Cotillion steps aside. As Traveller moves on, Cotillion clearly feels the weight of the exchange. The Rope disappears and his Hounds wander off.
Samar and Karsa continue to follow Traveller as she realizes that they are approaching the nexus of power in the city.
Inside Dragnipur, Ditch speaks with the newly-born god, who is railing at the injustice of its existence. But everything is born to die, as Ditch offers. Ditch isn't impressed; the godling isn't much more than a miniature Kadaspala.^[7]
Pearl is making peace as it softly weeps and awaits its destruction. It doesn't hate Tayschrenn, who bound it, or Quick Ben, who unleashed it against impossible odds, or Anomander Rake, who bound it to Dragnipur.
Draconus appears and apologizes to Pearl for making Dragnipur in the first place. Pearl says it is sorry to see the end of so many enemies working together, forced to join hands. Draconus is speechless.
Meanwhile, Apsal'ara makes her way towards the gate under the wagon. A pattern is steaming out of the gate. She steels herself and throws her chain into the unfathomable cold.^[8]
Draconus leaves Pearl. He knows that Kadaspala's godling was a failure. It was a desperate gambit anyhow; what they really needed was for Rake to kill a few powerful entities to keep the wagon in motion. But Draconus also forgives Rake, though perhaps for the wrong reasons as he sees Rake's refusal as a sort of nihilism.
Suddenly, and with overwhelming force, Hood arrives. Draconus rapidly reconsiders his forgiveness of Rake. Hood's arrival pushes back Chaos, but it's not enough.
Draconus confronts Hood, but Hood hasn't arrived alone. The legions of the dead follow him into Dragnipur.
Draconus still can't get his head around Hood's arrival. What will happen to the dead without Hood?

‘So who will claim the dead?’
‘Let the gods see to their own.’
The coldness of that response staggered Draconus. ‘And what of those who worship no gods?’
‘Yes, what of them?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘After this,’ Hood said, still studying the wagon, ‘the dead will not be my concern. Ever again.’^[9]

The dead assemble before Hood and Draconus. The Second is cantankerous as usual, but Hood tells the Seguleh that he will not lead the dead into battle. For him, there is another task.
Iskar Jarak -- yes, Whiskeyjack, in case the chapter 14 epigraph wasn't enough to drive that home -- will lead the dead. Around him, the Grey Swords, Wickans, and fallen Seguleh will reinforce the core. Beyond that, the army of the dead isn't much to brag about. Hood orders the wagon to turn around to face the forces of Chaos.

Chapter 23

Fisher gives us a brief meditation on death, which certainly fits, as the ox finds himself trying to avoid just that. The city stinks of blood and echoes with screams and the poor beast isn't having it, careening through streets and alleys.
It's not alone, either. Everyone is running around, trying to flee the Hounds. Or at least everyone who doesn't know what's happening; Iskaral Pust is preparing to ride out on his trusty mule, surrounded by his hoard of bhokarala and swarmed by spiders.^[10]
Across the city, Baran ambushes Pallid, throwing the Hound of Light into a fortified building surrounded by (now dead) guards: the city jail. They crash into Barathol's cell, releasing him but bringing the ceiling down on one leg. Pallid prepares to attack the human when someone charges into it: Chaur.
Chaur throws Barathol his axe and collects a giant rock. Barathol can see where this is going and desperately scrambles free, tearing his leg. Chaur's throw hits Pallid, but the Hound throws him into a wall. Baran returns and drives Pallid off in time for Barathol to scramble out and find Chaur unmoving but still alive.
Antsy, also freed from the jail's destruction, finds them. The Bridgeburner isn't optimistic; Chaur is bleeding into his brain. Barathol is determined to find a healer even if it means carrying Chaur, but just then the ox and his cart arrive. The beast is more than happy to resume a set role, carrying a body as a man guides them somewhere.
Rallick and Torvald watch the city from Vorcan's roof.^[11] Studlock drags the unconscious Seguleh guards to the courtyard and starts ministering healing. Tor is consciously avoiding looking at, or even thinking about, the shattered moon. Rallick leaves with Vorcan to join Baruk.
Scorch and Leff are still patrolling the streets and alleys around the compound looking for a Hound to kill. They may have proven competent, but they're still not smart. Leff wants teeth to make a necklace and a paw as... a club? It's not clear. Scorch wants a skull with which to make a boat.
A Hound of Shadow appears and the pair trains crossbows on it. The Hound decides it has better things to do and disappears.

‘Next time,’ muttered Leff. ‘We shoot first and argue later.’
‘Good idea. Next time. We’ll do it right the next time.’

Somehow these two live.
Cutter rides from the docks into the city carrying the metal lance. The Hounds make him think of Apsalar, of the night she left and the morning he found out. He believes that she made him into what he is, into the man who could match blades with Rallick Nom.^[12]
He knows the Hounds and supposes they won't attack him, but he hates the destruction they bring to his city. He blames Shadowthrone or Cotillion, which... yeah, that checks out.
Cutter resolves, not for bad reasons, to leave in the morning after telling Challice he killed Gorlas:

Cutter knew now that he had – since her – taken into his arms two women as if they were capable of punishing him, each in turn. Only one had succeeded, and he rode towards her now, to stand before her and tell her that he had murdered her husband. Not because she had asked him to, because, in truth, she did not have that sort of hold over him, and never would.

But that won't end up happening. Challice, snow globe in hand, ponders her life from the top of the abandoned tower. She knows the globe for what it is:

She looked down once more at the imprisoned moon cupped in her hands. And here, she realized, was her childhood in all its innocence. Frozen, timeless, and for ever beyond her reach. She need only let her gaze sink in, to find all that she had once been. Cursed with beauty, blessed with health and vigour, the glow of promise—

She jumps, finally free. She and the globe shatter on the ground.^[13]
Kruppe leaves the Phoenix Inn and saddles his mule as it lashes out at him. He rides out into the city to provide "a blunt barrier" after offering commentary on Rake and his moment of vulnerability:

What sort of man is this? This white-maned Tiste Andii whose hands remain stained with a brother’s blood, a people’s vast loss?
Ah, but look closely. The core burns still, hot and pure, and it gathers unto itself, bound by indomitable will. He will take the wounds of the heart, for Anomander Rake is the sort of man who sees no other choice, who accepts no other choice.
Still. For now, grant him a few more moments of peace.

"No struggle to vast, no odds too overwhelming," etc. The sense of impending doom is palpable.
Antsy leads the ox to Baruk's estate and pulls the cord. The High Alchemist is indeed home, but he's on his way out and can't heal Chaur. Barathol is crushed, but Antsy gets one more idea. They head further into the Estates District.
Chaur, meanwhile, is dying. We get a touching look inside his mind as a series of disconnected sparks slowly being extinguished. But in that extremity, the sparks find something new: mutual recognition.
Barathol weeps as they arrive behind Coll's estate. Antsy stops to pick something up off the street and they continue on to the Finnest House. They carry Chaur to the door and Raest answers. He's happily ensconced in his prison, oblivious to the night around him. He does note that earlier in the night a T'lan Imass came to visit but the House took him (and yes, that's Dev'ad Anan Tol, Harrlo's friend from so many chapters ago it feels like a different book).
Raest is disinclined to help since Antsy has already reneged on their last bargain; Raest still wants his dead cat. Luckily, that's exactly what Antsy paused to pick up. Raest acquiesces and names the cat Tufty.^[14]
They get Chaur inside the Azath and he stops dying. His mind sets off on a journey of self-discovery.
Spite and Envy stop in the middle of trying to destroy one another. They sense Dragnipur and both want it, the sword that is their father's legacy. Together, Anomander can't oppose them, weakened as he his. They set out to kill Rake (all while plotting against each other; Eleint sisters apparently just do that).
For once, Karsa's stubborn certainty has shaken. He and Samar follow Traveller at some distance. They are there to witness, not to interfere.
Traveller comes before Rake. Traveller -- Dassem, as Rake addresses him -- can sense Hood close, but Rake won't stand aside to let the First Sword fulfill his vengeance.^[15] The cult of Dessembrae emerges to witness their god and Great Ravens alight on every building.
Stricken with grief, Dassem Ultor attacks. Karsa is struck absolutely numb; he finally found warriors he's not sure he can oppose.
Suddenly, the fight is over. Even Samar can tell something went wrong. Dragnipur ended up embedded in Rake's face, killing him. Dassem screams in anguish and the Ravens take flight. Karsa knows Rake cheated, that he chose to be killed and sorely used Dassem.
All over the city, forces can sense Rake's death and Dragnipur's... availability. Light streams in. The rest of the Hounds of Light join Pallid and Lock, ten in total. They are here for the sword of perfect justice. Overhead, Tulas Shorn is less than pleased.
Pust and his menagerie ride -- slowly -- towards the sword he plans to claim in his own name. He somehow stares down three Hounds of Light, but eventually he meets his match: Kruppe himself.
There's no way I'm summarizing this. They clash, Kruppe escapes, the end. It's a fun passage but you should reread it if you want a blow by blow.
Forces converge on Rake's corpse. Spite and Envy emerge and the Hounds of Shadow prowl towards them. Baruk sets out in his carriage, weeping. He has lost a friend and the world has lost a power for good.
Cutter rides in. He sees Rake's corpse and has an entirely reasonable response: "We are in trouble." Samar tells him that Dassem Ultor killed Rake and Cutter doesn't put things together until she mentions the name Traveller.
Karsa urges Cutter to help defend Rake's body. He also wants Samar to get Dassem on his feet for the defense. And again, this is Karsa Orlong deciding he's not enough.
Karsa introduces himself and Cutter answers:

The giant glanced at him. ‘Yes,’ he said with a sharp nod. ‘I am Karsa Orlong of the Teblor. Toblakai. And you?’
‘Crokus. Crokus Younghand.’ He hesitated, then said, ‘I was once a thief.’
‘Be one again,’ said Karsa, teeth bared, ‘and steal me a Hound’s life this night.’
Shit. ‘I’ll try.’
‘That will do,’ the Toblakai replied.^[16]

The Hounds of Light charge just as a gate opens and someone takes Crokus's lance.
Spinnock is losing. Kallor has hammered him with blows and his armor is coming apart. He lost his helmet and still Kallor keeps coming. All he can do is block and dodge, but finally his sword shatters. Kallor catches him across the chest, throwing the Andii to the ground. Spinnock smiles up at the High King.

‘What,’ Kallor asked softly, ‘was the point, Spinnock Durav?’
But the fallen warrior did not answer.
‘You could never win. You could never do anything but die here. Tell me, damn you, _what was the fucking point?_’

Kallor tells Spinnock that Rake doesn't deserve him. Spinnock apologizes to Kallor, offers him condolences for how driven he is, how blinded he is, how irredeemable he is in the eyes of the world. Kallor damn near loses it but calms down. Spinnock did what he came to do: not hurt Kallor, but delay him, prevent him from reaching Darujhistan in time.
Kallor realizes that Rake is dead. He understands the plan and chooses to let Spinnock bleed out peacefully.
As Kallor walks off, Crone and her kin descend along with two dragons. One, Orfantal, follows Kallor and scoops him up. The other, Korlat, helps Crone tend to Spinnock's wounds. They go to leave and Spinnock leaves his broken sword behind.
But Kallor isn't quite done yet. He manages to pull loose his sword and put it in the dragon's neck. They fall to the ground and Orfantal sembles, bleeding from a deep wound, and falls to the ground.^[17]

Notes

^[1]: Again, contrast how Nimander thinks of himself here and how everyone else sees him. He's worn down and he dwells in failure. Meanwhile, his kin will follow him into death if need be.
^[2]: Note that this is (ambiguously) a Kruppe interlude. In Black Coral. The very structure of the book is breaking down.
^[3]: I don't think there's anything more than thematic connection to read into this, but it is interesting that we now have a third character adopting madness coding in the exact same speech pattern.
^[4]: This dichotomy of questions and answers continues to play out. It's another case where I don't know how deliberate Erikson was but it's clearly central to the exploration of faith around which this plot pivots.
^[5]: tGiNW: Anyone who thinks the marines' response to Teblor refugees was out of character should come back to this passage. Is it, like I said, too direct for my taste? Sure. Is it consistent? Absolutely.
^[6]: DoD: Interestingly, we get Picker reflecting on the eyes of a dying goat here. Her thoughts, while not as detailed, track somewhat with Deadsmell's observations from DoD 9. Just in much less detail. But I get ahead of myself; I'll probably end up spending an entire summary just on that passage.
^[7]: Kadaspala count: four.
^[8]: There's a somewhat interesting thermodynamic aside here. The way Darkness is portrayed here is the manifestation of absence of all energy, a zone of absolute zero temperature. Opposing this with Chaos -- entropy -- is an odd concept given our understanding of thermodynamics.
^[9]: And with that we get the first hint of Hood's purpose here.
^[10]: We'll just leave off the fact that he apparently managed to woo Sordiko Qualm.
^[11]: It's quite sweet how much they both clearly like Tiserra, each in their own way.
^[12]: He's painfully close here, but still very wrong. He'll get there.
^[13]: I've had my say on Challice elsewhere. She's both awful and profoundly tragic at the same time. She didn't deserve to be punished with Gorlas, but she and Cutter weren't badly matched here, both searching for identities and feelings of freedom that were never coming back to them.
^[14]: The cat will always be Tufty to me. I know the name apparently shifts to Fluffy in OST, but Tufty is still canon.
^[15]: I'd be utterly remiss not to bring up Dassem's sword here. Andarist told Cutter it was named both Vengeance and Grief; Dassem seems to hold both simultaneously. Oh, and as will be pointed out shortly: it's Rake's sword. The two men really do understand one another on absolutely tragic levels.
^[16]: And so Crokus finally reclaims himself. He's not Cutter, he's not someone that Apsalar made in her image, he's not Murillio, and he's not Challice's toy. Unlike Challice, he finds a way to balance being himself ("Crokus. Crokus Younghand") while still allowing himself to change ("I was once a thief"). I don't entirely like Crokus, but this moment always gets me. He has found a way to live in the world as it is.
^[17]: tKT: I want Orfantal to end up in the coyote from chapter 21 but I'm increasingly convinced he's dead.

Three True Never Told Scary Stories VOL 1
​
Number One: The Backyard
​
This happened to me when I was a pre teenagers ( I would say tween, but I kinda hate that word). I was still very interested in things like scouting and camping and getting all muddy with by friends. I hadn’t quite gotten to girls yet but I that a coming along pretty soon.
​
But at the time, I loved any kind of camping. And although this wasn’t an official scouting get together, I wanted to do a camping out in my parents’ backyard.
​
Now, I wouldn’t say we lived out in the country, because we really didn’t. But we had an enormous backyard. Hell, with all of the places I have lived since, I am still in awe of how big that yard was. It was great for playing with the dogs, playing baseball with my buddies. It was just great altogether.
​
So this was in mid summer when we were beginning to get somewhat bored of the time off from school. The days were long and monotonous. So I asked my parents if we could have the campout in the backyard. We were all scouts and had done this before and my parents had no problem with it.
​
Now, one thing we did was that everyone had their own tent. I sort of preferred sleeping alone in mine anyway. But anyway, this is pretty important to tell the story.
​
We did all the usual camping things. We indeed had a small fire, as we had little stoned off area that my family used to make fires. We had smores. That is really what made me decide to tell this story, seeing someone buying things to make them in the store today. And, then eventually, after talking about all of the things that 12 year boys find important, we went to bed.
​
I didn’t know what time it was. I read a little bit my flashlight before finally going to sleep. And I fell asleep pretty easily. The fire had been small and we put it out before getting into our tents, so there wasn’t light to keep me awake.
​
I am not sure what woke me up at the time, although nowadays I think it was the sound of the zipper on my tent being lowered. My head was foggy and I couldn’t see much of anything. But I noticed that there was a figure at the entryway to my tent. I immediately guessed that it was either one of the other boys, or maybe my dad had come outside for some reason. So I immediately grabbed my flashlight in flashed it over at them to see who it was. I was good enough with the light to shine under their head so the light wouldn’t completely blind them in the darkness.
​
It took me less of than a second to realize that the man who was coming into my tent was absolutely not my dad and way too old to be any of my scout mates. He was, up to that point, the scariest looking person I had ever seen in my life. He had long hair, the most insane eyes I had ever seen and a look on his face that I can simply describe as crazy.
​
The man was on his hands and knees and he took one crawl toward me. He then put one of his fingers up to his lips, as if to indicate to me to not talk or make any noise. For nearly a moment, I didn’t. But it had everything to do with fear, not that I was listening to his advice.
​
He made another crawl toward me and that was all that it took. I began yelling and screaming bloody murder like you couldn’t imagine. I faced the other wall and of the tent and did everything I could to get out of there.
​
But of course I wasn’t going to get out of there and I didn’t see any lights in the house go on right away. Fortunately, however, my scout mates all woke up right away. I began screaming at them, “There’s someone in my tent! There’s someone in my tent!”
​
Now, I didn’t know exactly what had happened right away. I could see light through the tent but it was too opaque for me to make out exactly what was going on outside. But one of my friends went running to the house to get my parents.
​
But what I quickly became aware of were the other kids who quickly came to my rescue. They all attacked the guy who was trying to get to me in the tent and who had actually gotten to my foot. However, he quickly let go of that when the kids attacked him.
​
I couldn’t tell if the kids pulled him out of the tent, or he tried to force himself out of there despite what they were doing. But the only thing I was happy about was the fact that he was out of my tent.
​
Next thing, I heard a gunshot though. And there was a lot of commotion and even some yelling from some of the other boys. I still didn’t come out of the tent though, until it was my older brother coming in to get me. He rushed me and the other boys back to the house while my dad held the guy to the ground with his rifle.
​
The police came and arrested the guy. He was found guilty of attempted kidnapping before being extradited to another state where he was put on trial for a completed kidnapping. I don’t know what happened to him, but if he died in prison, I wouldn’t mind so much.
​
I didn’t go camping ever again. I just can’t be in a tent after that.
​

Number Two: Sleepover
​
I had a really frightening experience with a friend of mine when I was really young. I recall being around him a lot younger when he had an imaginary friend that he used to get teased about by other boys. They saw having an imaginary friend as something that only little girls did or really young boys. So at even a very young age for a boy to give up an imaginary friend, he took quite a bit of torment about it from the other boys.
​
I kept being his friend because I liked him. I never had an imaginary friend of my own. I never held it against him though. In fact, I sometimes wished I had the imagination to have had one at any time during my life. We liked a lot of the same toys as each other and things like that, so we got along fine.
​
But during the whole period of teasing, I do remember it getting a little bit too much for him, I suppose. And it was then that he quit talking about his imaginary friend. I got to mention earlier that my friend’s name was Brian and his imaginary friend was named Billy.
​
So, I guess we were maybe seven years old when Brian just stopped talking about Billy. And after that, I stopped thinking about it. That is, until around the time that we were 11 years old.
​
I remember playing over and Brian’s house that day and he seemed a little upset about something. I never thought to ask him what was wrong. I don’t recall really doing that back when I was that young. But we were playing with his Nintendo and he kept dying really easily when it was his turn to play. That was just really unusual for him. But I don’t remember mentioning it.
​
Brian, on the other hand, asked me if I wanted to spend the night over at his place that night. This was something I was always up for, actually. I liked his house a lot more than mine and my own parents would never allow anything like a sleepover. So I readily accepted.
​
The evening went pretty well. I always enjoyed Brian’s family. Plus his video games were in his bedroom, so we could play them as much as they want to. He seemed to be a whole lot in a better mood than he had been before.
​
When bedtime came around, we got ready for bed. Brian had twin beds in his bedroom. I never quite understood why, unless it was for sleepovers. He never had another brother and I know that none of his sisters slept in hs room. They both had their own rooms.
​
So while we were talking, I was surprised that Brian if I remembered Billy. Although I had not thought about him in a long time, I immediately knew who Brian was talking about. I knew he meant the imaginary friend and not anyone we actually knew.
​
I let him know that I did. But I didn’t say much more about him.
​
Then Brian told me, “He started visiting me again.”
​
I think I was quiet for a few moments before I uttered out an “Oh?”
​
“Yeah, but he’s not like how I remembered him,” Brian explained. “Before, he was nice. He played with me a whole lot and he was pretty cool.”
​
Brian was quiet for a few moments. I have to admit to being a little afraid for the few moments of quiet. But I didn’t let on that I was scared at all.
​
“Now, he just hangs out under the bed at night,” Brian said, sending a chill down my spine. “He keeps telling me that he’s going to grab me and pull me under the bed when I fall asleep.”
​
I paused again before asking the question that frightened me most. “Under your bed or mine?”
​
“Mine,” Brian responded.
​
I thought I would feel relieved that it wasn’t mine. I didn’t. I was simply terrified. So I responded, “Why don’t we both sleep in this bed then?”
​
I barely had the word out of my mouth before my friend had jumped over to the bed I was in. It was just a twin, but we were small and scared so it worked.
​
We didn’t get a whole lot of sleep that night. We talked through our fear until we fell asleep.
​
Here is the weird thing, he never ever mentioned Billy again. It was somehow like that one night exorcised the entire fear from him.
The House on Chicot Road (Final)
Pronounced: Chee-Ko Road
Cat B
April 11, 2023
For all our differences, my elder sister and I were very adventurous. Anything out of the ordinary called to our souls. We were both into horror and scary stories. We'd read Edgar Allen Poe, Ambrose Bierce, HP Lovecraft, Alfred Hitchcock, Algernon Blackwood, Daphne Du Maurier, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle among others. At the time of our adventure, I was all of 13 and my sister (whom I'll henceforth refer to as "J") was 16.
That day, our mother had gone out, with a gay friend, and the warm spring afternoon soon allowed us to delve into a mischievous and somewhat dangerous excursion into the home of a recently deceased widow. Her husband had died some years earlier and any children she'd had lived out of state. She died alone.
I was close to my elder sister in those early years so when she asked:
"Hey cat, let's go check out that empty house," I was all for it. We presumed the house was empty of at least any living occupants. Long before the demise of the widow, the house had a reputation for being haunted by the widow's deceased husband.
Still, any chance to get out and go exploring was something we could not pass up. Besides, the widow was also known to have never locked her front doors, so it was a perfect invitation to get in without having to break in which we were loath to do.
Whenever I looked deeply into my sister's baby doll blue eyes, I saw her usual undying mischievousness shine through. This time, she was serious and so was I.
"Okay. I said. Let's go."
And without another word, we headed out the front door and into the woods of the 60 acres my uncle owned in Little Rock, AR. Just before we let out, "J" grabbed my wrist and said grinning:
"Wait a minute stupid, we need a flashlight."
"Oh yeah," I mouthed absent-mindedly. In my haste, I'd nearly forgotten. But then, she was older so she was supposed to have remembered anyway.
When my mind began to work instead of being on autopilot, I realized that "J" was right, there would be no electricity. Her family we'd learned from our aunt, would only see her on occasion, so we knew they would probably not show up anyway if they showed up at all.
As we walked the mile and a half to the house, we first had to traverse a long dirt road that would take us further away from the paved road but get us to the old house sooner.
We heard birds of all sorts: Mockingbirds, Blue Jays, Scarlet Tanagers, and Ravens. In the ditch along the way, we saw a family of Kildeer, both mother and father with chicks running along beside with their quick steps and thin legs that carried them from one end of a culvert to the other, their nest somewhere along the ground. I smiled at their inventiveness, the father acting like he was wounded, hopping along with a feigned broken wing, to distract and draw us away from the nest area. "J" didn't appreciate nature the way I did.
Following along, I already missed my Shilo; a chocolate cream tortoiseshell cat. She was asleep now but would be awaiting me on velvet paws upon my return. That cat owned me. Everything was about her until that is, my sister "J" said those magic words that would take me from her for at least a few hours.
After our little adventure, we planned on rewarding ourselves by walking another half mile or so to the little run-down mom-and-pop store (MacMillans) for a cold soda. We always called them cold drinks no matter what the drink was. And no matter what kind of cola, we always called them "Coke." That was just what we Southerners called it back then. I never liked Coke so I always got something else.
The warmth of the sun shone down on us as we made our way off the dirt road which in a few years would have a few horrors of its own for Shilo and me, but that's another story.
"J" drew me away from my thoughts of "Shilo" which they were never far from when she said:
"Gotta' go this way." She turned to the left onto the narrow treelined Chicot Road. Dense woods lined the concrete paved two-lane road leading to the widow's house. A scattering of homes littered the landscape along the way as we moved enjoying the blooming bushes, wildflowers, and trees.
Breathing deep the richness of early summer, lost in my thoughts of what we might find, and taking in the shapes of the clouds that blended with a robin's egg blue sky, I barely noticed when the wind picked up; a portent of a storm later in the day.
Marching along, flashlight in hand, "J" told me and herself, she too was lost in thought, that we would be going into a dark house and some dark places and thus, the reason for the flashlight. She was more scared than I thought.
It seemed like it took forever when I finally recognized the slight turn that preceded the front of the house. Before we rounded the corner, I asked "J" if we should take the woods to cut across the yard instead of walking in front of the house. She paused and thought about that for a moment and then finally made up her mind with:
"No cat." She said. "It's all right. No one knows we are here anyway. No one ever comes here." Immediately, I looked into her eyes. They appeared a little clouded indicating she was afraid.
"It's just cause you're scared of the woods," I teased.
"Just shut up and come on." I dismissed that as, big sister syndrome. Then, I smiled adding:
"Okay dummy!" a face-saving jab at her earlier calling me "stupid." She just glared.
We moved on almost directly in front of the huge two-story house.
Finally, we stepped off the road, thankful for the cool of the grass. It was pretty warm. In those days, that far out in the country, there were few sidewalks and little to no shoulders on Chicot Road.
A second later, a car swerved a bit too close reminding us that if we didn't pay more attention we could become permanent residents of the house on Chicot Road too. I saw an image of both of us face-planted in the road.
As we moved swiftly onto the property, we looked at one another with nervous laughs. We stood for a moment to take in the excitingly ominous sight of the house. It looked like something out of a horror movie.
Gnarled, grotesque, and twisted shapes that would haunt your nightmares, moved with a sudden wind. It was as if they moved of their own accord, sometimes taking the shape of creepy dark human figures. The sounds they made were just as strange as if they were inhabited by the spirits of the dead. Their eerie and sad howlings rose and fell as they were stretched and bent by the wind into long drawn-out moans. Suddenly, it dawned on me where the musical category "woodwinds" probably came from. I always loved the sound made by Pan's reed flute. Pan was a Satyr in Greek Mythology.
As we moved carefully across the huge unkempt yard, twigs and sticks of old fallen branches snapped and popped under our feet, hidden by the long grass, giving us away to anything that lurked there. If the spirits were uncertain about our presence before, they were certain of it now.
"J" shivered. I sure as hell know I did. Of course, I didn't say the word "hell" out loud, just in my head. Cursing was strictly forbidden. But of course, "J" did. Following her lead, I echoed the forbidden word out loud as well. I felt a bit nervous yet liberated doing it.
The house stood completely alone surrounded by woods. Interestingly, only around the house were all the trees dead. Further back, it was lush and green. Upon closer inspection, we had only ever seen it from the road and realized that it was more run down, and dilapidated, than we'd thought.
Grabbing my shoulder again, "J" startled me with a perfunctory:
"Come on! Let's go!" Her left hand was firmly on my shoulder almost pushing me ahead of her. Naturally, I resisted and she quipped that she was sorry and loosened her grip. I don't think I had ever seen her this nervous.
The house seemed to yawn at our presence as a sudden gust of warm air came seemingly from within the house. It gave our young faces a fresh scare as our excited fright whisked our blonde hair high into the air with unseen fingers while another wind seemed to gently usher us to the stairs that led up onto the porch.
Stopping momentarily, we gazed out across the tree-strewn ravine and lake, when another sudden gust of wind blew across us and seemingly through us accompanied by a sudden noise behind. The sound caught us both completely off guard, unnerving and hastening us onto the porch. It seem the spirits were impatient at our hesitance, we'd come this far...
Carefully, we moved up the creaking stairs; the old wood too, moaning an invitation as we mounted the porch. An old porch swing hanging from one anchor still affixed to the ceiling squeaked out a half-tempting 'SIT, IF YOU DARE!' Our heads jerked at the sudden sound and then back to the door.
"J" moved ahead of me letting go of my shoulder just long enough to grasp the knob and slowly turn. More groans of creaking wood amid disquieting squeaks and desperate scratchings entered our young fertile imaginations and settled there as a strong musty smell of old furniture, clothes, and dust invaded our nostrils.
Still, it must have been a quite lovely house, I thought. Even at my age, I could appreciate the once-fine architecture of this old house. It certainly must have been grand, in its day. Glancing around the huge living area, I could see even in the gloom the still solidly built floor that rose on one side to a low mezzanine upon which sat a small table and 4 chairs in the corner of which sat a white baby grand piano covered in thin dust.
The aged ivory keys were partially exposed, turning them a lighter shade of grey. I was then and now a music lover. The thought of the elephants it took to make them turned my stomach. Before my sister punched me softly on my arm, I too spied the stairs on my left that led to a second story and from there a third, or so we were told.
"C'mon, let's go." Cautiously, I agreed.
Tiptoeing across the broad hardwood floor, Black Oak, I assumed, we again heard the squeaks and saw a few fearless mice run across the floor, somehow knowing they were safe in our presence. One came so close that its twitching nose sniffed the toe of my shoe while in mid-stride. Slowly, I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out a treat I had intended on giving to Shilo but had forgotten in my rush to get there.
The little grey mouse knew my intentions and took it eagerly from my thumb and forefinger and ran halfway across the floor and then, as if to say thank you, stopped and turned to look at me, its little black eyes glistening. It winked in approval. I smiled as it squeaked and ran hurriedly with its prize to its lair under the musty dust-covered couch.
I reflected that it was probably a good thing that my cat Shilo wasn't with me after all because she would have had all the mice presented to me as gifts in a matter of just a few days depending on how many there were. And hearing quite a few squeaks and seeing quite a few tiny fuzzy gray bodies scatter as we entered the house, she would have certainly had her paws full. There was no way I would ever bring her here just to kill mice, even if she was the best mouser ever known to Catdom.
Before I knew it, "J" was already at the piano. She just had to touch everything, she simply could not resist doing so. I shook my head:
"Oh come on "J" really?" She stopped just for an instant and looked at me with that huge mischievous smile of hers. Tucking the faded white key cover further back into the piano exposing the dust-free keys, I joined her just as the felt hammer struck a single string and rang out an off-key tang into the quiet solitude of the room. She giggled softly and then moved towards the single door in the middle of the far wall that we thought was another room. It turned out to be the balcony. She opened it slowly.
As soon as we retreated outside, we heard footsteps moving down what sounded like the stairs. The dark gloom of the house suddenly seemed to close in tighter around us. I now held the flashlight as instructed by "J" whipping it in the direction of the sound. First, up and then down and then widely about the room itself as if expecting to catch a glimpse of... something.
Instead, the light caught "J's" widened and very frightened eyes, her pupils shrinking to tiny pinpoints. Quickly, her hand came up grabbing the flashlight whispering harshly:
"Get it out of my eyes dumbell!" And with that, wrenched it out of my hands turning it off at the same time. Then, the door to the balcony slammed shut. Standing perfectly still, I looked toward "J" and she back at me, our eyes wide trying to figure out how? The wind couldn't have done that, could it?
They say there is a fine line between a genius and an idiot. My sister "J" was brilliant at times but I quickly deduced that her decision to hang out on the balcony with only one exit clearly put her on the complete and absolute idiot side of the equation. Of course, there was still the bedroom window, except it would be quite a drop should we need to escape that way.
My mind told me it couldn't have been a ghost. But I was the first to move to the door because we, in our suddenly clouded state of mind, were decidedly screwed in this situation should it be anything worse. We could not drop from the balcony, the incline of the hill it was built on proved to be too steep and the small black water lake was a little too close for comfort. Taking the lead I whispered:
"C'mon "J" There's nowhere else to go." Meekly, she nodded.
Slowly, I twisted the knob, and suddenly "J" was right next to me as if in a protective state. Or she just wanted to get back into the room first. She stood at the opened end of the door. It creaked slightly. We expected it to do as it had done when "J" opened the door before. But this time, instead of drawing it out long and slow, she swung it open so quickly, it hit the side of the wall with a slight thud.
After quickly surveying the threshold and the surrounding area, we both sighed in relief. There was nothing there. Emboldened, "J" grabbed my left wrist, and with her right, pulled the door completely closed. She always had to do everything first. We were back inside again. Some moments later, our eyes having accustomed to the dark, she again got up the nerve to move at first towards the stairs and then towards another door on the far end of the mezzanine.
"C'mon", she ordered. Rolling my eyes in vague protest as if: make up your mind I nonetheless followed.
Taking a sharp left, we marched right up to the door closed firmly against our entrance. Hurriedly, yet stealthily, she opened the massive oak door and then entered the room. It seemed darker and more ominous than the living room outside. It was the Master Bedroom. We both almost lost our nerve and backed out, as the gloom seemed to envelop us in a strangely thick murk. It was suddenly harder to breathe as if something or someone had painted the walls with mildew that tainted the air.
Directly to the left was the walk-in closet our aunt told "J" about. It housed hundreds of very old dolls. It was the real reason my sister wanted to come here in the first place and was determined to stay, despite the growing warnings to get out. "J" however, was still not so easily convinced.
Entering the closet while holding the flashlight, "J" turned it back on again and started scanning past the old hung clothes and onto the dolls above that were in a jumble on the shelves stacked to the ceiling. Our aunt had been there previously and had gone through them. It was then that we heard something in the direction of the stairs again. "J" turned off the flashlight waiting.
After some moments of hearing nothing further, she shoved the flashlight into my hands and instructed me to shine the light on the dolls so she could go through them. The moment the flashlight was in my hand, we heard a sudden thud somewhere in front of us. Turning the light back on, swinging it wildly in search of the source of the noise, and seeing nothing, "J" said matter of factly:
"It was the wind."
I swear, she must have thought I was the most brainless younger sister on the freaking planet to have tried to convince me and herself that the wind had suddenly materialized in the closet and caused the noise. What she didn't know, was that I had seen a doll earlier when she was scanning the closet, that had been hanging from the shelf and was now lying on the floor. It had been hanging by a thread of its hair and had decided at the most inopportune moment to fall. Either that or... Why it, or whatever it was, chose for it to fall at exactly that moment was anyone's guess. When I told her 'whatever', she just glared.
After all, being the older sister, she was supposed to be the one to make that discovery, not me. But then, I was the one that read a lot of Sherlock Holmes so I fancied myself to be the detective who would notice those finer things during an adventure and she, like the pompous Inspector Lestrade, would usually characteristically miss them.
Satisfied at the cause, I slowly scanned the vast collection of dolls with their many shades of colored glass eyes staring eerily back at us. One, in particular with a single sapphire blue eye, caught my attention. Long auburn hair covered it, making it seem almost alive. Some of the older dolls were known to have actual human hair. I wondered if any had actual human skin. I would have sworn it blinked at me.
Holding the flashlight while keeping an eye out "J" used the single-step step ladder and began searching the collection of dolls. Hearing the noise, I shook my head, my eyes blinking incredulously in disbelief because here we were again, blocked from escape; one way in, one way out. Again, I was distracted by the growing apprehension I felt standing in this claustrophobic place while seriously trying to decide if I was going to stay with her or run like hell out of there. The answer would have come swiftly enough if "J" hadn't grabbed my arm again.
At the same time, she grabbed me, she grabbed the doll that she'd all along come to get. I suspected then that I was just someone she needed for backup. That was when we both again heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs moving up to where we were. Slow and methodical, stopping on each riser as if whoever or whatever was intently listening between the steps.
We made not a sound, we were frozen in fear. I silently shut off the flashlight. The small amount of light that spilled in through the open door was coming through the waning sunlight of the window. What little light that could seep through, afforded us just enough to look out through the open door.
"J" and I suddenly got the same idea at the same moment. Moving swiftly, yet silently, she reached out with trembling outstretched fingers and closed the closet door. Both now of the same volition and in perfect unison moved back deeper into the inkiness of the walk-in closet until our backs touched the wall.
All the dolls in there with us made it even spookier. I felt like a cat, in the position of knowing there was only one way out. "J" took my right hand in hers and held it tightly as if holding on for dear life. Either that or she knew that if anything happened to me, Mother would probably kill her. I could feel the already almost unendurable tension building. The waiting turned out to be both terrifying and exhilarating.
The footsteps moved from the stairs to the floor and were now moving slowly in our direction, still stopping occasionally as if listening for the slightest sound. The only other sound I heard was my own ragged breathing. Reflexively, I put my hand across my mouth and breathed through my nose. After a few moments, I noticed that it helped to calm me down.
"J" took notice and did the same thing. Still, my heart thundered in my chest. I could feel each beat move my body. We were rooted to the spot but mostly hidden in the darkness at the very back of the closet as the steps moved closer nearly unhinging our minds in terror and anticipation.
Barely resisting the fight or flight reflex, we knew we must remain still and quiet, becoming like the dolls themselves. Time disappeared completely as our breathing slowed and our thoughts languished in an almost torpid state of indifference and fear until we both heard the doorknob of the closet starting to turn.
Involuntarily I gasped, and it was then that the door was flung open so violently, it banged against the opposite wall and very nearly closed in on itself. Then it was suddenly and even more violently flung open again.
A scream caught in my throat leaving me speechless. "J" threw up her hands to cover her eyes and stifle her own but it was clear, that whatever it was, knew we were in the closet and was only yet, toying with us. We stood there in near complete darkness, frozen in place, and hypnotically watched the door after it banged off the wall for the second time, almost close, and then slowly open again to reveal... nothing. There was nothing there. No gut-wrenching, mind-numbing horror. No bowel loosening half decomposed papa zombie freshly arisen from the grave coughing out a: "Honey, I'm home." Not even some urban legend cryptid proving once and for all that they really do exist just before they eviscerate and then decapitate you. Nothing.
"J" her prize doll in hand, (she got what she came for) decided that it was time to finally get herself the "hell" out of there. She bolted. At first, I was still cautious expecting at any minute that we would come face to face with some other-worldly terror, like in the movies, but there was, thank God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, Muhammad, Buddha, Yahweh or any other God, Godesses or Gods you can think of, or if you're an atheist: the void, nothing there.
Feeling emboldened, and now free from "J"s vice-like grip on my wrist, her hand drenched in sweat, we ran for the steps. I, however, being much more agile, chose a shorter route. I turned a sharp left and leaped from the mezzanine, just missing an overstuffed chair, and landed with a solid thud, on the hardwood floor like a thoroughbred finishing first place at the breeder's cup steeple chase tournament in Foxfield, MD.
Not only had I the nerve to take the shorter way, but I was much faster than "J" ever was. I grabbed the doorknob, turned it and swung the door open in one smooth movement and hit the ground running before even hearing "J" behind me running down the steps yelling:
"Cat, slow down!" Yeah right, I told myself, as I sped across the yard jumping over and zig-zagging around fallen branches, dead Privett Hedges, and broken picket fencing. Hell, I'd already reached the road and was doing my victory lap when "J" was just exiting the front porch steps.
As I was bent over catching my breath, she finally arrived bitching about how I'd abandoned her when she knew she was the one that left me. Projecting again. It was then that the front door to the house suddenly slammed violently shut with a bang like a rifle shot as though saying:
"And stay out!"
"J" finally shutting the hell up, turned and ran as I'd never seen her run before, (and yeah, I did say the word "hell" out loud) not even looking back as we peeled up the road to home. I easily kept pace loping along like a strong steady quarter horse and she, like some deranged lunatic having escaped with her doll, the local sanitarium. No offense to any of the insane that happen to be on the loose out there in the world.
It was almost dark when we got out of there. We both knew we had tarried too long but the flashlight gave us some comfort and helped to calm our frazzled nerves. Once we'd calmed down, we discussed seriously what had happened and I found myself shivering more than once, even though the heat from the day was still emanating off the concrete on Chicot Road.
A black friend came along in a pickup, with his dad, listening to Al Green on an 8-track. I sang along while they gave us a ride the rest of the way. We were pretty close friends. Elijah jumped in the back with us and we told him all about our adventure in the House on Chico Road. He ended up staying the night on the living room couch, and we, in our beds at the back of the trailer.
"J" didn't seem to be as scared now that she had her prize doll. I, on the other hand, had my Shilo who was, my best friend, there to meet me. As we talked, we came to the same conclusion that whatever was in the house was of the paranormal kind; our not having seen anyone, save the mice when we entered. And as far as I knew at my young age, mice didn't turn doorknobs or slam doors with the strength of a Sasquatch.
Could it have been the husband who'd died before that still haunted the old house? And was the invitation we received to enter the house and then enter the closet and the falling doll, the widow who also, after death, took residence there? It took some time for me to reason that out before the sound of that last slam finally stopped echoing in my skull.
Still, I could not understand how "J" could have selfishly bolted for the door leaving me there alone, although, in hindsight, I was glad she had. I guess it was the only thing she could do when overcome with blind fear, calculating that at least one of us (her, she hoped) might get out of there alive. I guess our mother threatening to kill her if anything happened to me, was a risk she was willing to take. Fortunately for both of us, (I never told) there wasn't more to it than that. Later on, warm and cozy in bed, my Shilo curled up in the crux of my arm, it revealed something to me (and probably to her as well) that when it came right down to it, it wasn't the "we" that mattered to her nearly as much as the "me." We weren't nearly as close after that.
I prayed to Christ and thanked him for helping me and "J" get out of there in our time of need and for Elijah and his father being there to help get us home before the storm hit.
Shilo purred as I prayed to never be tempted to go into that house ever again for any reason, especially if it was just for some silly adventure or because "J" wanted an old doll and was willing to sacrifice one of us to get it. If the risk of life and limb somehow wasn't enough to keep us out, I thought, then an overly protective fucking house ghost sure as hell ought to be.

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for this awesome universe, I hope I did it justice. This is my first ever fanfic, so any (constructive) feedback is appreciated.
CW: cursing, space racism
Memory transcription subject: Jackson Kern, Human-Venlil Exchange Program Candidate
Date [standardized human time]: September 3, 2136
If I was being honest, alien first contact wasn't all I'd hoped it would be. I mean, we weren't getting glassed from orbit like in those old movies, but the way people looked at me on Venlil Prime, it was like we were the ones doing the glassing.
Well, not everyone looked at me like that. My exchange partner, Salvek, had been nothing but good to me since day one. He was terrified at first, but he overcame his fear after a week passed without me eating anyone. Not a damn soul. Unless plants are alive (do the aliens think they're not?). Anyway, the man became my closest ally and best friend on this damn planet. I don't ever mean to hate on Salvek. If someone ever hurt that cute, fuzzy motherfucker I would become a centerpiece of anti-human propaganda overnight.
I could do it, too, seeing as how I stood at 6'3 and worked out daily. Your average Venlil was like a twig to me, and I couldn't help but think sometimes that I should cut down to be less of a threat. Oh well, gains before... uh... I don't know what rhymes with gains. You know, I wanted to get Salvek to work out, too. Call him a Trenlil. Venbig? I don't fuckin know.
Now, I know that such a long internal monologue is weird, but when you're sitting in a Venlil train that's about a foot too short for you to fit and everybody except Salvek is looking at you like you just dragged a corpse inside (did they think I would?) here and ate it in front of them then you don't have much to do other than think. Oh, shit, we're here.
Salvek told me "We're here, Jack." and I got up. I bumped my head, bit back a curse word (this happens far too often on Venlil Prime) and crouch-walked out of the train. I tried not to think about how much of a "stalking predator" vibe I was giving off. The station and the area surrounding it were both very businesslike, since I was here on business.
They weren't close to the spaceport, though, so I steeled myself for at least one "predator" jibe. If I saw a bloodthirsty murderer that stood two feet taller than me and was also jacked I would keep my mouth shut, but some Venlil just aren't bright.
Now, the only reason I was even in such a place was because I had developed a new shirt and I wanted to sell it. I was harassed by exterminators a bit too often for my liking during my time on this planet, so I took out my laptop (which did not contain any predator schemes, much to one nosy exterminator's surprise) and designed a shirt that said, in fluent Venlilese, "Dear Exterminators, My Eyes Face Sideways". I was wearing the prototype right now.
My plan was to market it to the influx of humans that were coming here to pet the cuddly sheep (Tarva opened the borders, yay) since they would find it funny. I'm a funny guy, what can I say? But to do that, I needed money. Venlil money. I needed a loan from Salvek's bank.
As I walked mindlessly through the station, zoning out so as not to stare at anyone in the crowd or smile (they're so fucking adorable I have to do this) by accident, Salvek tugged on my hand. "What?" I practically whispered. Better safe than sorry in these times. He warned me of "Exterminators. Over by the exit." since he was a real G.
There were three of them, and they were obviously off-duty since they were eating some alien delicacies I hadn't tried yet, and their flameproof suits weren't sealed. They all had flamethrowers, though, so I settled on "taking a break." I told Salvek "Thanks, lil buddy, but I'll be fine. This is just a field test of the new shirt." Salvek begged me to leave another way, saying "It's not funny, Jack. These guys incinerate predators for a living! What if they set you on fire?"
There was a chance of that, I had to admit. But we were still in the capital, and these guys' suits weren't white or topped with cones. They might have burned crosses, though. Maybe if a cross had forward-facing eyes, they would. Either way, I strode on with confidence.
An exterminator moved to stop me, flamethrower in hand. "Can I help you, sir?" I asked.
"Stand here." He told me gruffly. "Random search." I sighed. It was not, in fact, random. Salvek looked horrified, but he just froze there. The exterminator's friends didn't move either.
"All right." I raised my hands in a T pose, slowly, like so many exterminators had told me to do before, but he slapped them down.
"Hands at your sides, predator!" He shouted.
"All right, look, just because your wife has been in Wales for the past month and she might not come back doesn't mean you can take this out on me." I joked, but in a serious tone so he didn't beat my ass for joking.
My Venlil friend, Salvek, gave me the pass to say these things in exchange for the P-word pass. The racist exterminator retorted "What's Wales, a death camp?" as he restrained my hands with some kind of Venlil handcuffs and shoved me to my knees. He began to pat me down more roughly than I would have liked, and I was very aware that we were making a scene. A crowd of Venlil and at least two humans (would they help me if I got fried?) were watching with mostly unreadable expressions.
After what felt like an hour of getting beaten with dad's belt (my dad doesn't beat me) the exterminator's friend stepped in. "Felsha, that's enough!" He snapped. "You searched him three times over. If he had a weapon, you would've found it." The racist exterminator stood up with a weird expression (why in hell are all Venlil expressions so weird?) and marched off.
"Thank god." I said, standing up and returning to Salvek.
"Are you okay?" He asked, and I assured him that I was.
"I've had worse." Salvek must've been happy, but he just looked weird. Fucking Venlil faces. (and tails, fuck knows what tail movements mean) I told my partner "You know, I don't even blame him. I just feel sorry for his ass."
Salvek looked shocked. "Y-you don't blame him? How?"
I explained "I'm trying to be the bigger person here." and he reminded me that I was.
"You are. It's not that hard."
I had to elaborate. "It means being kinder and better than the other guy, and that means you have to let some things slide. Walk a mile in their... uh... you don't have shoes. I forgot." After a brief pause, I told Salvek "Let's go. We have money to make." and started walking to the door. Salvek followed suit.
I passed through the turnstiles (some things are universal) without being searched again because they weren't Venlil cops, and as Salvek caught up, I stepped outside the train station into a bustling metropolis. With a sudden realization, I turned to my friend and asked him "Do you know where the bank is?" I had forgotten.
The fluffy critter told me "Yeah, I know." Thank god. I didn't know if anyone had realized this just yet, but I had no idea what in God's name I was doing. I was, quite literally, a fish out of water. Okay, maybe not literally, but it's a metaphor. (Simile? I never paid attention in English class anyway)
If it weren't for my partner guiding me every step of the way, I would have either gotten shot, set on fire, exiled back to Earth, or sent to a Predator Disease facility. Speaking of exile, we had to exile one of the guys in my exchange group. He tried to sneak up on his partner, which is a VERY BAD IDEA in all capital letters just to enunciate how bad it is.
He said it would be funny, and it probably would have been for a human, but a true comedian never makes jokes at another's expense. Except for exterminators' wives, because fuck exterminators.
Anyway, I and a group of other humans had to tackle him. I could've done it on my own, but the rest wanted to help so I let them. It was the right thing to do, shipping his ass off home. It was also a reminder not to slip up while I was here.
I signed up for this program to escape my past on Earth, and I couldn't afford to be sent back.
"Jack, we've gotta go. The bank closes in a quarter claw." Awwww man, I was zoned out again. I probably looked weird to the Venlil when I was thinking, like a sleeping Goliath or something. Salvek was probably the only one brave enough to wake me up... and shit, I'm doing it again.
I turned to my fluffy compadre (I'm white, why did I say compadre?) and nodded. "Yeah, we've gotta get moving. Try and keep up." Humans were persistence predators, so we could walk the sizable distance to the bank without even breathing heavy, but for a species that was built for fast sprints and nothing else it would take at least one break.
Maybe Salvek would let me give him a piggyback ride? It's not like I would say no, the motherfucker is cuddly. But would he ask? Damn, I'm zoned out again. But I'm walking, and he's walking with me. I can think as much as I damn well please.
Salvek told me "I'm pretty fit for a Venlil, you know. I can handle myself." and I had to admit he could. I have no idea how far the walk to the bank is, since Venlil measurements are a sin against God and mankind alike, but it seemed pretty far last I checked.
Where even was the bank? Ah, it doesn't matter, Salvek is leading the way. He knows where it is, he fucking goes there.
The streets were crowded this time of day, since everyone was out doing something for somebody, but all the sheep and hedgehogs and kangaroo/meerkat motherfuckers parted for me like I was Moses on account of my eye placement.
I didn't really mind, since it let me get where I needed to go faster, but it did feel humiliating sometimes. Like I was a dangerous animal, or a carrier of some disease. I'd already resolved to argue much more firmly with my racist uncle next Thanksgiving.
"Okay, are you still with me?"
Damn. I always am still with people, and my friends back on earth just keep talking even if I look distant, but I guess Salvek just needs more time. "I always am, little man." And a few reminders too.
Salvek told me "Can you stop calling me little? I mean, I am little compared to you, but I don't like it."
I never meant to hurt his feelings, so I agreed. "All right. I'm sorry, bro, I never meant anything by it." I said wholeheartedly. I fucking meant what I said when I said "I don't ever mean to hate on Salvek."
My only friend on an alien world accepted my apology with "It's fine. Don't worry about it." before explaining the reason he started talking. "Anyway, we have a situation. I'm hungry as... uh... never mind. But I am starving, and there's a good place to eat between us and the bank. It doesn't serve pred- I mean humans, but I can bring your food outside."
That's what I love about Salvek. He's a good person. The 'never mind' part was probably a Venlil idiom that would be offensive to predators (humans are omnivores, not predators. I haven't hunted anything for food whatsoever) but that didn't matter.
I had a mask on, since I didn't want to cause a stampede or get set on fire, but I could remove the part over my mouth in order to eat. It was a really useful feature. I asked Salvek "Okay, so when do we eat?"
He told me "There's the question. Do we eat now, since I'm starving now, or do we eat after we get our money?"
I advised him "I vote we eat later. I don't want to be in a place like this any more than I have to." and he agreed.
It wasn't a bad neighborhood by any metric, other than racism, (Spacism? Speciesism? I don't know anymore.) but there was plenty of racism to go around and I didn't want to get lynched. It was like an all-you-can-eat racism buffet in this place.
Anyway, back to real life. We had just passed a few eateries, all with the bright orange "NO PREDATORS ALLOWED" signs on their doors. God damn, that was infuriating. Not much to do about it, though. They had the right to refuse service to anyone.
I idly wondered if one of those was the 'good place to eat' Salvek spoke of, and he confirmed this by saying "That one's what I told you about. The Mellow Firefruit. They make a delicious yaccay salad." and pointing at a red, spiky restaurant a few shops ahead. It was styled to look like a firefruit, and it probably served mostly spicy foods. Firefruits were spicy as hell.
I told my friend "It's got a cool design to it, I'll give you that. But we still have a schedule to keep." and I kept walking.
He started walking just as I did, since we were the Dynamic Duo out to solve crimes in Gotham, and we passed the Mellow Firefruit without so much as a glance inside. Well, Salvek always glanced inside. The perks of having sideways facing eyes, second only to not being immolated by alien pest control officers.
If I even wanted to look inside, I wouldn't have. The patrons might have seen that as a threat, since I was apparently a vicious and bloodthirsty killer without any sense of empathy (I'm not), and I would get an earful from the owner or a nearby exterminator for that. Eyes front, chin up, keep marching. Just like in the navy.
"What's a predator like you doing here?"
Oh, God damn it. Can't a man go to the bank anymore?
The alien who so casually used the P-word on me (I'm an omnivore. If they're gonna be racist can't they at least get it right?) was an older Venlil with graying fur and the buzz cut that I had grown to associate with the extermination guild. No one outside it would have the balls to call me out.
Salvek snapped "Why do you care, just leave him be!" at the man, and he grabbed my hand to urge me to keep moving as if that wasn't what I wanted to do anyway.
The exterminator, (ex-exterminator? Ex-terminator?) however, wasn't letting him go easily. "You just wait until you two are alone, you idiot! He'll gnaw your bones clean! He can't help it, he's a menace to society!"
This was an unusually graphic description for a Venlil, and the crowd probably recoiled a little in horror. Salvek didn't, to his credit. He was always a brave sheep. He wanted to just keep walking, and he pulled me further away from the alien version of somebody's racist grandpa. I yelled back "Have a nice day!" without actually meaning it, since I was trying very hard to be the bigger person, and slipped free of Salvek's grasp to put distance between me and the racist on my own.
Salvek told me "Jack, you know you don't have to take all that."
I reminded him "You say that every time. You're right, but it's about more than just getting even now." I hated having to take all that, but it was better than the alternative. And besides, I felt like it gave a 'Buddhist monk' vibe to me.
I've always admired monks. They always seemed more enlightened, more happy than everyone else. I might have become a monk if the Venlil weren't discovered or my application wasn't accepted. Just as I was thinking about monks, I saw the bank in the distance.
"That's it?" I asked as we approached the massive concrete block of a building. It might have been mistaken for a bunker if it weren't for the United Banking Service logo on the front of it. All the buildings on Venlil Prime were shaped like concrete blocks, and to be honest, I hated it. It was some Soviet Union type shit to be honest.
Salvek confirmed "Yeah, that's it." as we approached the bank and I saw the bright orange sign on its front door.
"Looks like I'll have to wait outside." I sighed.
Salvek reassured me "It happens. Besides, you only came here to see the sights anyway." and then he walked through the revolving door and into the bank's lobby.
I pulled out my data pad. I was in for a very boring thirty or so minutes, and the least I could do to pass the time was play Clash of Clans.
Next

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Memory transcription subject: Hyana, Security officer of Cargo hauler
Date [standardized human time]: ??? ???, ~ 10,000 BCE
"HURRY UP, THE ARXUR ARE ABOUT TO BREACH!" I mustered the loudest shout I could to stress the urgency of the situation.
"I'm coming, just... JUST HOLD ON!" The electrician spat as he dragged as much ammunition, weapons and rations as his small, weak body could carry.
How had my luck turned so sour? This was supposed to be a simple job... haul supplies to the troops fighting to clean colonies of predators and get a handsome payment from the Federation itself; we even had a couple of seasoned escorts... Yet no help could have saved us when the Arxur showed up...
The doctor's body was trembling "YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO CARRY ALL THAT!" he shouted in a mix of worry and irritation "Hurry up! Are you trying to DIE?!" he somehow managed to shout even louder this time.
…The Arxur appeared on the fringes of our radar. They marinated us in fear as they followed us. We tried everything to lose them, escape, run, but we never had a chance. When they got close enough, one of our escorts was completely obliterated, no, erased from existence, the other one was disabled. The last thing that came through the comms was the desperate prayer of a weapons operator as the predators breached…
In a show of determination, the electrician managed to throw his ‘luggage’ into the escape pod.
“Now get inside!” The doctor's relief was visible.
…The only thing that saved this ship was the hunger of the beasts, they took out our engines but didn’t destroy us. I figured this small window of opportunity was about to close since the alarms were indicating breaching had commenced.
An exhausted and petrified electrician abruptly halted my recounting of the events "By the stars Hyana LAUNCH THE DAMN POD!” He screamed in my ears.
I pushed the big, beautiful button that was responsible for our survival in a flash and finally let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding “Did… did we escape?” I muttered to myself while I watched the ugly reptilian raider ship latched onto the hull knowing the rest of the crew who didn’t find a way out fast enough were about to be taken as cattle.
I started to relax, thanking all deities ever conceived for allowing me to survive, as did the other occupants of this blessed pod.
The doctor, whose name I recalled being Kliva, was the first to break the silence “So… where are we headed?” he questioned between labored breaths.
That was a good question. I didn't input a location... That can be fixed later. All we have to do now is get as far away from the predators as possible.
“Wait, what’s that pinging?” I instinctively spoke before looking at the information panel.
The sight my eyes processed petrified me… “So? What is it?”
“Yeah Hyana, what’s wrong?”
“M-Missile… Incomi-" Before I could finish an explosion rocked the vessel sending me, the doctor and the electrician crashing into the walls, screaming.
‘Propellers damaged’ The robotic warning announced. So this is it, maybe they’ll kill me… My mind was on the brink of shutting down, I was so close to salvation… yet…
‘F-F-FTL PROPELLERS E-ENGAGED' The robot informed us in a glitchy voice.
“What…?” Kliva signaled surprise both in his voice and tail movements.
The unknown electrician awoke back from his terror “The harnesses! We have to get into the harnesses!” he screamed as he rushed to a seat.
What followed was what can only be described as a micro stampede. My companions and I stumbled over each other as our instincts took over, but it was useless; the FTL engaged before I could even think about strapping myself in.
The last thing I did before I collided against the nearest wall was screech in terror, and then… everything faded…
-------------------------------------------
I forced my eyes open while trying to move my body with little success. Around me was the familiar interior of the pod, except for the countless flashes coming from exposed wires, the metal pieces scattered all over and, of course, the giant hole on the back of the ship that let the exterior scenery in.
“Hyana… Hyana are you ok?”
“I don't think she can hear you…”
So they are still alive as well.
“Yes, I- I can hear you... Where are we?” I responded despite the aching in my head.
“I have no idea… Yigar, go check if the navigation system still works.”
The electrician who I now knew was called Yigar made his way across the debris towards the scratched panel in the front.
“It looks like it just took superficial damage, let's see…” He fiddled around with the screen for a moment until the screen lit up, displaying a greenish projection “Oh, there it is. It looks like we are in… a quarantined solar system…”
“What?...”
“On a planet designated G414, quarantined for potential…” Yigar almost froze.
“Spit it out already Yigar.” Kliva ordered.
“Po- Potential for… S-Sentient… predators.”
Those words drowened any pain I previously felt in a sea of fear chemicals.
Stars… you have to be kidding me… Out of all the planets in the galaxy, I had to crash land in one with what could be the worst thing to happen since the Arxur?!
“Potential, right? T-that's what it says? So maybe we’re safe…” Kliva’s voice trembled.
I finally managed to will my body to get up “Even IF there isn’t a smart hunter in this place we still have to deal with the regular predators, which no doubt are making their way here right now!”
Kliva looked distraught before he suddenly raised his head again “The cargo! Yigar brought weapons, ammo and food with us, didn’t you?” He turned towards the electrician who waved his tail in confirmation proudly.
He moved away from the screen and began rummaging around the debris “That’s right! Those things must be around here somewhere!”
I joined him in trying to locate the supplies, as did the doctor. I moved beams, panels, and other parts when my weakened body could.
“I found something!” The Doctor’s tail happily wagged in triumph “I think it’s an emergency kit!” He clarified as his body made an effort to drag the box out of its crevice.
I moved in to help him and together we managed to retrieve the metal box with a symbol of a tree stamped on top.
“Laser weapons here!” From the other side of the pod, our companion was holding up a laser precision rifle and a sidearm “The charges must be around somewhere…”
As Yigar looked for the ammunition, I and Kliva opened the container. It took a great deal of effort and struggle, but once we heard the lid crack and slide off we could finally look inside. It was full to the brim with equipment; climbing materials, medicine,food testing vials, water purifiers and most surprisingly smoke bombs. While I still tried to catalog everything in my head Kliva quickly removed the contents from the box and laid it on the ground.
"With this, we might be able to survive..." He counted something under his voice "... until help arrives... assuming we don't..." He stopped talking and my tail stopped waving in the air as I realized what he was going to say.
"Found some charges!" Yigar seemed completely ignorant of our conversation and simply threw the three charges he had found into the pile of stuff in the center. "And I'm afraid there isn't anything else, I looked everywhere, the rest must be scattered... out there" He stared at the landscape of this planet.
Our craft crashed in a clearing, with a dense forest nearby. Most trees lacked leaves, except for a few cone-shaped ones. The ground was filled with browns, reds and oranges of the dead leaves and in some spots a very, very thin coating of snow. A few flames seemed to have burned patches of the ground around the us, but all of them had already died, suggesting we'd been out for a while. Above I could see a single, bright yellow star lazily floating near the center of the sky, but a bit off. This meant that the sun probably moved, which indicated this planet had a day-night cycle.
Great, now we'll have to survive smart predators in the dark...
I got this job to finally find a peaceful life... Now look at me, only a few day cycles away from becoming food... at least it's better than being cattle I suppose.
"-so we have no food, that's what I'm trying to say." My ears turned to face the dialog happening behind me.
"But we can't just go out there! What if WE become the food?"
"Do you prefer starving?!"
"Since you're so eager to fend off predators why don't you go?"
"Well, I can't go alone! That'd be suicide!"
The discussion was quickly turning into an argument, so I decided to put an end to it "I'll go with you." I partially turned to Yigar "We can take the sidearm, the testing vials and the smoke bombs" I was trying to come up with a sensible plan on the fly "While Kliva guards the pod with the rifle."
"Didn't you just say predators must be coming towards us at this instant? You plan to leave me here... alone?!"
"Don't worry, it's already been a while since we crashed. Considering we aren't being digested I seriously doubt any predator is coming any time soon. Also, we need someone guarding the rest of the stuff... but you are right, we can't stay here for long."
Yigar signaled for attention with his tail "While we're looking for food we can scout for a shelter and then come back to it with Kliva once we're done."
"I still don't like this..." The doctor hissed "But I guess it's either that or venture into a hunter's lair, so I'll stay here..."
We exchanged looks while an awkward and terrifying ambiance filled the space between us. After moments of heavy breathing and nervous tail signals Yigar stepped towards the sidearm. His paws were visibly shaking but he kept collecting the supplies before approaching me with short steps and handing me a small courier bag that he retrieved from the pile of cargo.
"You keep the stuff." He ordered with the bag extended to me "I figure you're a better shot than me, and you're used to facing the p-predators, so..."
With a quick motion, I got the bag from his stiff appendages and awkwardly slung it over my shoulder. This dark green sack was clearly not meant for a venlil's body as it extended to my knees, hanging uncomfortably at my side, but it would have to suffice. Yigar placed the sidearm, the smoke bombs and the vials in the bag without a word. Meanwhile, I eyed Kliva, who simply stared back with the rifle held close to his chest. He wagged me a farewell and I sensed a finality in those movements. I did the same with my own tail, trying not to focus on the fate that awaited me in this wretched place.
I just wanted to get away from my past... never see another pair of forward-facing eyes again.
"So, ready Hyana?"
I turned an eye to Yigar and mustered the most confident expression I could "No point in waiting" I paused before turning to Kliva again "Good luck."
I didn't wait for a reply and walked outside the carcass of the vessel. I could see Yigar approach me from the edges of my vision and stop at my flank. As weird as it was to admit it, this place was... beautiful. The forest that was directly ahead of me seemed sparser than in my first analysis, still dense, but the gaps in the trees allowed for the singular sun to beam on the orange and yellow mixture of leaves on the ground that was covering the rich green of the grass. The thin layer of white powder under my feet was almost invisible, but it spread out into seemingly random patterns.
I walked around the pod to evaluate where I should head to. In front of the nose of the vessel was a large river cutting the landscape, the water a clean blue, rushing past me with impressive speed and, hard as I looked, I couldn't spot the bottom, so no use crossing there.
"Hey!" Called the electrician "This part of the forest is less dense than the rest, we should head here, fewer places for an ambush!" Those words struck with reason and I strode in the direction he had pointed.
The electrician was right, although there was still more cover than I was comfortable with, this part of the scenery was still less of a danger than the others. Whenever me or Yigar took a step we had to mind the leaves cracking beneath us. In precaution I pulled the straps of my bag higher, to make reaching the weapon easier in case of danger. This seemed to worry Yigar. I noticed his movements were nervous, it was clear he didn't have training against these things, but calling him out on his mistakes right now might only make him more anxious.
The more we moved the denser the forest became, and I realized I wasn't certain what we were looking for. What if this place didn't have what we needed? Would this version of food be sufficient for us to eat? Maybe we wouldn't even recognize food if we were staring right at it?
"Hyana come check..." Yigar whispered crouched near a bush.
I moved closer "What is it?"
"Small red spheres..." He plucked a curious object from the plant "Looks an awful lot like berries, I wager we can eat them like one."
"Let me check"
I searched my bag for a vial. The machine was a black rectangle that opened around the half, revealing a container where I placed the berry-like object. After closing the contraption I waited to see if the plant was safe. The vial vibrated and flashed green lights three times, indicating it was indeed safe to eat. I sighed in relief and Yigar began collecting more of the berries.
"Open the bag."
I complied and waited for him to fill while I looked around. Since we started our 'quest' the trees only increased in quantity and the vegetation thicker. I was focusing my hearing on the chirps when my ears picked up a rhythmic sound approaching.
I tapped Yigar on the shoulder "Get behind the bush and shut up!" He dropped the last of the berries on his paws.
I ducked down, pulling the grey Venlil close to me, his ears were up in attention and his breath nearly came to a halt. The sound became clearer the closer its origin got. They were hooved creatures it seemed, moving at a brisk yet determined pace.
"What are they?"
"I'm not sure, let me look..." I risked a glance past my cover.
Yigar lightly slapped my arms"No, don't! They'll see you!" He whispered, but I continued.
It took a while to see what was moving in between the trees. I focused my eye on a slim, quadrupedal, creature with extensions on what I imagined was its head. The shadows produced by the trees made it hard to see anything more than the silhouette until it crossed a beam of light. The animal had a light brown pelt with some darker spots, long legs good for sprinting, a minuscule tail with a somewhat long neck and atop its head there were sharp white antlers, along with...
... Side-facing eyes.
"It's prey. Don't worry," I told a shaking Yigar and released my grip on him.
His eyes widened as he stoop up to look at the animals "Thank the stars... they're big." There was amazement in his voice.
Behind the one I had focused on, several other similar creatures followed, some without the antlers and some with smaller proportions.
"A herd... they must be going towards food, we should follow."
Yigar's tail dropped.
"Are you sure? What if they're fleeing? Or worse, they walk into an ambush!"
My years of experience with wild predators and prey surfaced and I stared at the naive electrician "If they were fleeing they'd be running fast and over each other without a clear path, they know where they're going."
His tail rose again and he relented his argument. Without hesitation he started moving towards the animals, perhaps hoping to join their herd. I rushed to him, still careful not to crack any leaf and grabbed him by the torso, eliciting a yip from him.
"Are you mad? You're gonna scare them off!"
"B-but you said they're prey!"
"WILD prey, they don't know what we want, they're just gonna assume we're ambushing them if you appear out of nowhere!"
His gaze turned cold "S-sorry..." Remorse echoed in his voice.
My paws moved away from his fluffy body, releasing the apologetic Venlil.
"We'll follow them from a distance."
We waited for the last of the prey to pass us and joined their herd from a distance, careful not to scare them. I admired their calmness and unity during their journey, mothers stood beside cubs and fathers led the branches of the herds, a brave endeavor, but foolish, as they would surely be the first ones to be lunged.
The herd came to a halt and I waved Yigar to stop.
"What's wrong?"
"They must be tired... let's get close now, maybe we can interact peacefully when they rest..." My hopes were high but realistically that was unlikely, yet I still approached, carefully.
Yigar stopped in his tracks when he spotted another berry bush. The sound of him collecting the food, despite not being loud by any means, turned the eyes of one of the animals. This one didn't have antlers, so I asumed she was female. She stared me down and her breathing accelerated. Thinking fast I dropped down to my knees slowly and extended my paws, revealing the underside to her which allowed the animal to see I wasn't a danger.
She was still simply staring, so I decided that maybe communication would ease her nerves "It's ok, I'm a friend, don't worry." The whisper traveled to her hearing orifices and she propped her ears upward.
Perhaps curiosity finally got hold of her and she extended her neck to sniff my paws.
If Kliva was looking he'd be so jelou-
My mind quickly shut off that thought and focused on a rapid movement coming from above the animal. Time seemed to slow and I managed to focus, it was a long object like tree branch. I couldn't quite see it considering the terrifying speed it moved at. It cruised the air towards the oblivious creature sniffing my paws; true to its target it connected and time moved again.
She felt the pointy end instantly, but there was nothing she could do about it. A cry for help tried to escape her mouth, but before it could even form the object embedded itself on the neck and the point made its way across the flesh, coming out the other end with a great splatter of gore. I felt an uncomfortable wetness in my paws and I froze in place while my eyes watched the alien shamble for mere passing moments, before her mouth hung down and she dropped with a numbness in her body comparable to a simple object. My heart rate rose above levels I thought possible and my mind screamed to reach for the weapon in my bag but my body refused, stiff as a wall it didn't move, not even to look at the scarlet blood coating my black fur.
It didn't take long for the herd to notice the grim fate of their member, side-facing eyes directed at the fallen body and some even facing me. In a primal fear, one of them took off spreading dirt behind him, his legs urged his body forward ignoring everything but the quickest escape. The herd followed nearly instantaneously and scattered around the landscape, each picking their own path.
One specimen decided to use the cover of a series of bushes to make its escape but as it got close, a figure I was sure to never forget emerged from it. A bipedal form rose from the plant wielding a tool (or more likely a weapon) similar to the one that united the neck of the female to the ground. The new creature was mostly concealed by the bush, only the foremost appendages and the general silhouette were visible, but I only needed to see that to realize that this monster was taller than me, not by little too. The weapon was propelled by the surprisingly long limbs and struck the center of the antlered animal, spilling a flow of red-colored blood upon both the ground and the hunter, a chilling yell from the mouth of the injured prey, with an aggressive, guttural shout from the predator to accompany it, maybe a celebration, or a laugh, whatever it was I didn't like it.
"What was tha-" Yigar hurried to me before he spotted the predator, who immediately turned to face us.
The eyes of a beast sat upon me, those two forward-facing eyes, with green linings outside the dark center, those eyes that rested on that dark beige face with short, single dark brown furs protruding from the cheeks, chin and above the mouth, those eyes sheltered under the patch of fur on the top of the devil's skull... those eyes that entered my soul ripped it in half and ate in it.
Its mouth hung agape, perhaps hunger, amusement, or (unlikely) shock. I made the mistake of looking inside, and saw four dirty fangs designed to rip, tear and eat; With my attention on the murderer I almost failed to see another beastly biped drop from a nearby tree, this one with a clean face and longer head fur, I could see its body covered by a weird pelt, something was... off. The pelts made no sense, they were baggier than its body, they seemed to belong to different animals rather than a single one and-
Stars... they ARE from different creatures! They wear the skins of their victims!
This realization sent my body back to life and I grabbed a screaming Yigar. I pulled the bag high and searched for the spherical smoke bombs with my free hand while a third, bigger predator emerged from another tree, snarling and shouting something at us, likely threats. Finally, I found the bombs and pressed them tightly. A thick fog surrounded both me and the electrician, whose mouth I had covered with the paw that triggered the bomb. Trying not to cough, I searched for a cover and, blessed be my luck, I found a hollow log.
The predators were barking at each other in foul and disgusting sounds. I took both their distraction and the smoke as a chance to throw my body (and by extension Yigar's) inside the log when my translator sparked to life.
'Unknow speech detected... Field translation commenced'
The rough voices began to transform into words.
'10%'
"Verify location!"
"Refusal of order!"
'30%'
"You are afraid?"
"Confirmation!"
'55%'
"I am able to go!"
"Are you final?"
'80%'
"I hope she is because I refuse to do it."
'100%, translation complete'
"Yes I'm sure, you cowards won't do it."
"Good luck, we'll... uh... cover you from here!"
Their words became clear and unnerving, the voices (still predatory in nature) now had a personality to them.
No please don't come here, eat those animals. Please! You have enough! My mind screamed for mercy, but I knew it was useless, the only thing I could do was silence myself and Yigar.
-------------------------------------------
I had this idea brewing in my brain for a while now, so I finally decided to post it. Hope it was good! Also, thank YOU for reading and, of course, u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this universe!

My boyfriend is looking for a place that can cut his hair properly. His sides are shaved, but the part he's having trouble finding someone to do properly is the top where it's longer. His hair is naturally curly/fluffy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
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Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
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List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Gotham Knights
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X2)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Monster Train Collectors Edition
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy