I am fighting the impulsive urge to book a one-way ticket to some random country and never come back.
I have no friends.
Everyone in this country is so miserable with a drinking addiction.
University is bleak and a waste of money.
My neighbourhood is full of rotten kids raised by gross neglectful parents.
I just want to be alone in the middle of nowhere, or in a place so busy and full of life, I can be invisible while simultaneously stimulated by everything around me.
I need culture, to meet new, interesting people, I want to learn the world through my senses, not a book or a screen.
But I am in debt, I don’t have a job anymore. I have lost all hope. I can only daydream of a better life.

My ex of 5 years dumped me what appears to be back in February but now that I have been awake to it and seeing clearer since going NC for the past week I am realizing that it started long before that. Long story short, he only wants to be friends. After 5 years and an entire life built tigger her and family enmeshment. I’m not 100% sure of why but it had been made clear that it is 100% my fault. He thinks I’m a liar and I was. He was correct in that as I lied about my feelings 100% of the time which caused me to resent him and at times and had inappropriate text message exchanges with other guys 3 times during our 5 years that he found by snooping through my phone. That was my way of escaping this misery I created (I 100% own this, apologized, and he claimed to forgive me). Of course all but 1 of the times, the messages were months old by the time he started to snoop. Meanwhile he wanted to be open and I agreed and he slept around quite a bit and I had to be ok with it and I never slept with anyone. Mainly because I think I felt I deserved it to be this at because of the inappropriate text message exchanges I had.
I am confused because I am a reformed people pleaser (The word No or any negative feedback for him didn’t exist) and had a deep codependency on the relationship and when I decided to go no contact initially back in February and few time over the course of the last few months, I almost asked for permission from him. He was ok with it but gave me some BS response like “I will always love you and be here for you when you’re ready to talk”. It pissed me off but I had to be real with myself and admit that I was doing NC to somewhat manipulate him back into my life.
That didn’t work. So I fell back into the trap of communicating with him. Fast forward to the last three weeks or so, I have finally decided to just go NC and not give him a “heads up”. I just stopped responding and have focused on me. Completely left ALL social media, going to the gym daily, therapy 2x a week, eating better, mediating every morning, saying yes to hanging out with friends, solid travel plans. Completely dissolved my anxiety as I was intensely anxiously attached. I even took a long flight without WiFi or movies. Just me having to sit with myself. That was the HARDEST thing I’ve done thus far.
Anyway, he is now upset that I am not responding. For context, we have assets and semi-live together so there is a requirement for communication but I only respond to business. No responses to how my day is or anything like that. He continues to contact me asking me how my day is or asking for updates and he’s gotten clever enough to start the conversation with that and wrap it up with something that have no choice but to respond to. So when I only respond to the business, I’m now an asshole or he demands to know why I’m not responding.
It’s all too much. I’ve come to realize based on our very last conversation that he has no intention of working out our issues, forgiving me, or even owning his contributions to the state of our relationship. He sees me as a certain way and whatever that is has turned him off completely. He just wants to point out my flaws and blame me for everything wrong in the relationship. However, he wants to talk to me everyday. It’s so fucking weird and annoying and painful!
The cruelest part is that I’ve done all of this work to figure my self out over the course of the last 3 months. Owning my shit, apologizing, sharing my past traumas that caused me to show up in such toxic ways and why I “strayed” those few times, and what steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again and he still rejects me. I even confessed how much I missed him and he just ignored me. Then a few weeks later he gives me a little seedling of hope by telling me he was thinking of maybe giving us a fresh new start because he knows we belong together. I got excited and tried to unpack that only to realize that he had no real plan of how we were going to make that happen.
I have been contemplating blocking him completely. However, there is a tiny piece of hope deep within me. Then my brain kicks in and reminds me that there really is no hope. Even when I get close, I think of all the financial shit we have tied up together. I am not in a good place financially because of my people pleasing but I am in an amazingly good place emotionally and mentally because I don’t have the anxiety of worrying about his happiness or well being over mine.
I wish I knew what to do!

My ex of 5 years dumped me what appears to be back in February but now that I have been awake to it and seeing clearer since going NC for the past week I am realizing that it started long before that. Long story short, he only wants to be friends. After 5 years and an entire life built tigger her and family enmeshment. I’m not 100% sure of why but it had been made clear that it is 100% my fault. He thinks I’m a liar and I was. He was correct in that as I lied about my feelings 100% of the time which caused me to resent him and at times and had inappropriate text message exchanges with other guys 3 times during our 5 years that he found by snooping through my phone. That was my way of escaping this misery I created (I 100% own this, apologized, and he claimed to forgive me). Of course all but 1 of the times, the messages were months old by the time he started to snoop. Meanwhile he wanted to be open and I agreed and he slept around quite a bit and I had to be ok with it and I never slept with anyone. Mainly because I think I felt I deserved it to be this at because of the inappropriate text message exchanges I had.
I am confused because I am a reformed people pleaser (The word No or any negative feedback for him didn’t exist) and had a deep codependency on the relationship and when I decided to go no contact initially back in February and few time over the course of the last few months, I almost asked for permission from him. He was ok with it but gave me some BS response like “I will always love you and be here for you when you’re ready to talk”. It pissed me off but I had to be real with myself and admit that I was doing NC to somewhat manipulate him back into my life.
That didn’t work. So I fell back into the trap of communicating with him. Fast forward to the last three weeks or so, I have finally decided to just go NC and not give him a “heads up”. I just stopped responding and have focused on me. Completely left ALL social media, going to the gym daily, therapy 2x a week, eating better, mediating every morning, saying yes to hanging out with friends, solid travel plans. Completely dissolved my anxiety as I was intensely anxiously attached. I even took a long flight without WiFi or movies. Just me having to sit with myself. That was the HARDEST thing I’ve done thus far.
Anyway, he is now upset that I am not responding. For context, we have assets and semi-live together so there is a requirement for communication but I only respond to business. No responses to how my day is or anything like that. He continues to contact me asking me how my day is or asking for updates and he’s gotten clever enough to start the conversation with that and wrap it up with something that have no choice but to respond to. So when I only respond to the business, I’m now an asshole or he demands to know why I’m not responding.
It’s all too much. I’ve come to realize based on our very last conversation that he has no intention of working out our issues, forgiving me, or even owning his contributions to the state of our relationship. He sees me as a certain way and whatever that is has turned him off completely. He just wants to point out my flaws and blame me for everything wrong in the relationship. However, he wants to talk to me everyday. It’s so fucking weird and annoying and painful!
The cruelest part is that I’ve done all of this work to figure my self out over the course of the last 3 months. Owning my shit, apologizing, sharing my past traumas that caused me to show up in such toxic ways and why I “strayed” those few times, and what steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again and he still rejects me. I even confessed how much I missed him and he just ignored me. Then a few weeks later he gives me a little seedling of hope by telling me he was thinking of maybe giving us a fresh new start because he knows we belong together. I got excited and tried to unpack that only to realize that he had no real plan of how we were going to make that happen.
I have been contemplating blocking him completely. However, there is a tiny piece of hope deep within me. Then my brain kicks in and reminds me that there really is no hope. Even when I get close, I think of all the financial shit we have tied up together. I am not in a good place financially because of my people pleasing but I am in an amazingly good place emotionally and mentally because I don’t have the anxiety of worrying about his happiness or well being over mine.
I wish I knew what to do!

My ex of 5 years dumped me what appears to be back in February but now that I have been awake to it and seeing clearer since going NC for the past week I am realizing that it started long before that. Long story short, he only wants to be friends. After 5 years and an entire life built tigger her and family enmeshment. I’m not 100% sure of why but it had been made clear that it is 100% my fault. He thinks I’m a liar and I was. He was correct in that as I lied about my feelings 100% of the time which caused me to resent him and at times and had inappropriate text message exchanges with other guys 3 times during our 5 years that he found by snooping through my phone. That was my way of escaping this misery I created (I 100% own this, apologized, and he claimed to forgive me). Of course all but 1 of the times, the messages were months old by the time he started to snoop. Meanwhile he wanted to be open and I agreed and he slept around quite a bit and I had to be ok with it and I never slept with anyone. Mainly because I think I felt I deserved it to be this at because of the inappropriate text message exchanges I had.
I am confused because I am a reformed people pleaser (The word No or any negative feedback for him didn’t exist) and had a deep codependency on the relationship and when I decided to go no contact initially back in February and few time over the course of the last few months, I almost asked for permission from him. He was ok with it but gave me some BS response like “I will always love you and be here for you when you’re ready to talk”. It pissed me off but I had to be real with myself and admit that I was doing NC to somewhat manipulate him back into my life.
That didn’t work. So I fell back into the trap of communicating with him. Fast forward to the last three weeks or so, I have finally decided to just go NC and not give him a “heads up”. I just stopped responding and have focused on me. Completely left ALL social media, going to the gym daily, therapy 2x a week, eating better, mediating every morning, saying yes to hanging out with friends, solid travel plans. Completely dissolved my anxiety as I was intensely anxiously attached. I even took a long flight without WiFi or movies. Just me having to sit with myself. That was the HARDEST thing I’ve done thus far.
Anyway, he is now upset that I am not responding. For context, we have assets and semi-live together so there is a requirement for communication but I only respond to business. No responses to how my day is or anything like that. He continues to contact me asking me how my day is or asking for updates and he’s gotten clever enough to start the conversation with that and wrap it up with something that have no choice but to respond to. So when I only respond to the business, I’m now an asshole or he demands to know why I’m not responding.
It’s all too much. I’ve come to realize based on our very last conversation that he has no intention of working out our issues, forgiving me, or even owning his contributions to the state of our relationship. He sees me as a certain way and whatever that is has turned him off completely. He just wants to point out my flaws and blame me for everything wrong in the relationship. However, he wants to talk to me everyday. It’s so fucking weird and annoying and painful!
The cruelest part is that I’ve done all of this work to figure my self out over the course of the last 3 months. Owning my shit, apologizing, sharing my past traumas that caused me to show up in such toxic ways and why I “strayed” those few times, and what steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again and he still rejects me. I even confessed how much I missed him and he just ignored me. Then a few weeks later he gives me a little seedling of hope by telling me he was thinking of maybe giving us a fresh new start because he knows we belong together. I got excited and tried to unpack that only to realize that he had no real plan of how we were going to make that happen.
I have been contemplating blocking him completely. However, there is a tiny piece of hope deep within me. Then my brain kicks in and reminds me that there really is no hope. Even when I get close, I think of all the financial shit we have tied up together. I am not in a good place financially because of my people pleasing but I am in an amazingly good place emotionally and mentally because I don’t have the anxiety of worrying about his happiness or well being over mine.
I wish I knew what to do!

First Previous
Ja’vail woke up with a yawn, her eyes squinting in the evening light. Her room was positioned in the castle on the west side, to ensure that Tor’s sun would wake her up for her duties. It was a purpose that it served with perfection, despite the fact that she really would have liked to sleep for a few more minutes.
However, her duty could not be delayed. It was her power that served as the linchpin to Tor’s spell, and she would fulfill her duty to ensure her Diarchy’s, and her world’s, future. With a grunt of exertion, Queen Ja’vail rose from her bed, stretched out her wings, and moved to the balcony before picking up her robe. As soon as she was somewhat decent, the Queen of the Night then opened her wings, looked to the skies, and began channeling her power into the spellform that had been weaved between the planet and its moon, renewing the bonds that connected them, and ensuring the delicate balance between her magic and her husband’s would not come undone.
She performed this ritual twice a day, every day, to ensure the spell’s continued existence. In the past few months she had performed it well before Tor had performed his own renewal, and had had to go remind the foolish drake to not only perform his duties, but to hurry up and get his tail to bed. Without her efforts, and her constant reminder to the king, the entire thing would come undone, ensuring their planet’s rapid descent into division once again.
Without the two dakri turning the planet, the two sides would either become too hot or too cold to sustain life, with the twilight between them ruled by monsters birthed from the nightmares of the oppressed.
It was with some surprise, then, that as she poured her soul into this undertaking, she could feel the thrum of her husband’s power clear in her mind, letting her know that Tor had already renewed his half of the spell for the night.
He really did need that sleep, she thought, giving a self-satisfied nod towards the setting sun before turning back towards her private chamber. She still had much to prepare for her night; even with the most pressing matter out of the way, she still expected a full schedule. Her court wasn’t especially busy, as the dakri found the night to be the best time to sleep and prepare for the next day.
That was besides the point, though, as her duties rarely involved overseeing the day-to-day rule. Rather, her task was to patrol the ǣther, hunt the nightmares that plagued her people, and to do her best to heal the source of those nightmares.
This was especially important now that she had cleared the Forest of Yith and had located the source of that particularly violent nest. It was best to keep those nightmares from returning, and for this cause she was going to attempt to enter the survivor’s dreams again. She doubted she would have as much success this time as she had last time, simply because almost drowning had weakened the creature’s defenses significantly. However, she had faith that she would at least be able to soothe the visitor’s dreams, and possibly gain a little more information on how he thought.
At the very least, she’d settle for a name. She couldn’t just keep calling it ‘the creature’ or ‘the survivor,’ as those ‘names’ grew heavy on the tongue, and wore down her patience. A name would also help the visit she had planned go a lot smoother, and would hopefully help them as they tried to convince him to come to the castle with them.
Once Ja’vail was dressed, she left the comforts of her room and made her way to her husband’s study. As she expected, he was still there, his desk still quite messy, a combination of his daily paperwork and the reports of the crashed alien spaceship forming the majority of the clutter.
Much to Ja’vail’s surprise, however, Tor wasn’t at his desk. Instead, the drake was standing at his window, looking out over the countryside and the eerie sunset before him, a reminder of the twilight that his people had escaped. In his hand he held a memory crystal, its red glow plainly visible in the slowly darkening room.
“Tor, are you alright?” the queen asked as she approached her husband.
Tor turned to look at her, surprise on his face. “Oh, I am well enough, I suppose…” he said, clearly still lost in thought. The king then looked down at the memory crystal in his hand, his brows furrowing in displeasure. “I have just received some… unsettling news. I was actually waiting for your arrival before deciding on anything.”
Ja’vail took a few more steps, her eyes locked on her husband's diminutive form. “What happened?”
Tor looked at her, then back at the stone. “It isn't easy to say this, but… we may have to kill the visitor.”
Ja’vail felt like her stomach had turned to ice. “Kill? Tor, what madness are you spouting? What crime could he have possibly committed while I was asleep to earn him a death sentence?”
Tor looked at his wife, pain in his eyes. “Nothing, dear. He’s completely innocent. That is beside the point, however.”
“Then tell me, what madness has overtaken you that you would murder an innocent?” Ja’vail demanded, her tone brooking no argument. “Or what monster are you, to have taken the place of my Tor? I must say, you have the likeness down, but your impression of his mannerisms leave much to be desired.”
Tor let out a mirthless laugh at that. “No monster or madness, my dark princess. Just a visit from an old friend…” he sighed again, before turning and holding out the crystal for Ja’vail to take. “Lady Siv paid both me and the survivor a visit today. She left me this, as well as a decision to make.”
Ja’vail looked at the crystal, before staring back at her husband, a dubious expression on her face. "And she told you to kill him? I do not remember her being so heartless.”
“And you would remember correctly. She was nearly in tears when I met her, though she did well in hiding them,” Tor said, before approaching his wife. He gently took her hand, and placed the crystal in her palm. “When she saw the visitor, she also looked into his future. This is what she saw. Please, do not force me to bear this knowledge alone.”
Ja’vail’s expression softened ever so slightly before she glanced down at the stone in her hand. “I will look, but I do not promise anything.”
Tor’s crest rose, but he did not say anything else. Instead he turned back to the window, waiting patiently for his wife to see what he had seen.
The memory took Ja’vail less than a second to go through, but she felt like she had been gone for a lifetime when the world came back into focus. She stared at the rock in horror, before throwing it to the ground. It did not shatter, it being made of quartz, but it still felt satisfying after the horrors she had witnessed.
“I was not pleased, either,” Tor said, not even bothering to turn and look. “Even if the visitor was guilty of some crime, I would spare him for what he could teach our people. As it stands, he is lost and alone, hoping for a friend. And I have to kill this lonely soul.”
“But… but we can’t do this! You’re better than this… we’re better than this!” Ja’vail said, nearly in tears. “Would we really sacrifice an innocent for the security of our own realm? Would you… would you…”
“Would I what?” Tor asked, turning to his wife, fire in his eyes. “Would I judge the worth of souls? Would I weigh a single life against the good of my people? Of his people? Would I become my father?”
Ja’vail looked away, her eyes closed as she folded her arms. “I’m… I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be,” Tor said, turning back to the window. “You have no need to apologize. I cannot measure the worth of anyone’s soul, nor would I try. However, this visitor’s life is not worth the lives of every person on this planet. When you include the lives of his own world, as well as the unnamed snake people… well… the choice is quite obvious.”
Ja’vail looked down at the floor, her eyes filling with tears as she thought everything over. “Would it have been better, then, had I not saved his life? Should I have let him drown?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is that the spirits have told us that the lives of others are better off if his is forfeit,” Tor said, his voice filled with bitterness. “I have not even seen this visitor in the flesh, and I do not know anything about him at all. What is he like? Does he have a family? What does he enjoy?” Tor asked, looking to his wife hopefully.
Ja’vail shook her head, not daring to bring her eyes up to meet her husband’s, as she didn’t think she could contain herself if she did. “I cannot say. I was only in his mind for a brief time, and I do not understand much of what I saw,” she said, her form gently shaking, as if a chill wind had entered the room.
Tor looked back at the window, his eyes closed as he thought on this. “Essentially, we are deciding the fate of not only an innocent, but a complete stranger.” Tor took in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “And try as I might, I cannot measure his worth as greater, or even equal, to the lives of my people’s. If it comes to it, he will be slain, and his body destroyed, just as the spirits have told us to do.”
Ja’vail began crying in earnest, her shoulders slumping with the weight of guilt. This caused Tor to turn to her, lifting her beak gently with one hand until she looked him in the eye. “So… let’s ensure that it never comes to that.”
Ja’vail looked up at Tor, hope in her eyes. “But, Tor, we can’t-”
“Shhhh…” Tor said, encircling his wife in his arms. He was shorter than her, but she still felt comforted, simply because it was him. “I’m not going to murder someone simply because of the damage his life might cause. Siv’s vision wasn’t that his continued existence spelled our doom, but that we must do everything in our power to ensure he doesn’t leave.” He pulled away from her a little, looking up into her hopeful eyes. “His death will be treated as a last resort, nothing more. For now, let us see how much worth his life is. What can he teach us? What is his people like? I, for one, do not want to squander this opportunity that the spirits have gifted us, simply for fear of an unknown future.”
Ja’vail’s crest rose as she dried her tears with the feathers on the back of her arm. “Yes… I completely agree…”
The two of them spent quite a bit of time like that, lost in each other’s arms as the sun slowly set on the horizon. Even after the world was shrouded in night, they were still there, lost in the comfort that each other provided.
* * *
Kel’vara’s beak glowed as she wove her magic, pulling the water from the bucket in front of her. It coalesced into a ball hovering inches above her hand, the swishing, splashing sounds of the liquid a soothing counterpoint to the frustration she was feeling.
She liked working with liquids when she was feeling upset. It had always come easy to her, the seemingly chaotic way it flowed and ebbed was a balm on her nerves, instead of a frustrating mess that most other practitioners found the state of matter to be.
She slowly flexed her fingers and extended her wings, the movements giving a tactile presence to the shapes she was forming in her imagination. Slowly, as if watching ice melt in reverse, the ball of water stretched and flowed, extending here, twirling there, molding and shaping to her will to become whatever she wanted.
In this instance, the water took the shape of a dragon, its long, strong legs striding through the air as it looked around, its inquisitive, intelligent eyes searching for prey, or barring that, a dakri to play with. Its long tail wagged behind it as it seemed to spot something, before it shot off like an arrow, dashing towards whatever had garnered its attention.
The small, watery, facsimile of a dragon didn’t get very far across the room before the door opened, breaking Kel’vara’s concentration and causing her happy little pet to lose its cohesion. In an instant, the once watery, spiky, two legged reptile was nothing more than a mess on the once clean floor.
Kel’vara looked up in annoyance, her gaze falling upon an irritatingly unapologetic Valros as he entered the room. “Haven't you ever heard of knocking?” Kel’vara demanded as she used her magic to scoop up the water and return it to the bucket.
Valros was unimpressed. “Kel’vara, you can’t just stay here sulking, we still have work to do.”
“I’m not sulking! I’m just practicing my more precise spell work,” Kel’vara said, turning up her beak as her crest lay flat against the back of her head.
Valros, however, did not look convinced in the slightest. “Kel’vara, The Lady is her own person. You can hardly expect her to stay around and answer every single question you have.”
“I never said that she wasn’t.”
Valros let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, if you’re sure, then I really think we need to go over the plan for tomorrow,” Valros said, trying to get Kel’vara back on track. “I don’t think we’ll need many knights, the thing’s pretty docile, all things considered. Have you given much thought in how we’re going to actually communicate with it?”
Kel’vara thought about this for a while, her beak glowing softly as she played a little with the water in her bucket, causing the surface of the liquid to ripple in odd ways. “Ja’vail said that she was able to communicate pretty well with it while it was dreaming. The only problem with that is that it was dreaming. I don’t know how dreams work with its species, but for dakri at least, anything that happens to our subconscious from outside forces is quickly forgotten. Bad dreams, flights of fancy, nothing to be taken seriously, or remembered.”
“I’ve been talking with the Captain of the Dreamguards about that too. He told me that we can’t rely upon that for communication, since we’re just as likely to get a straight answer as one about how the creature loves to eat its own pillow and ride a dragon made of Twirly Whirlys,” Valros said, stretching his wings a little and grunting with discomfort. The knight quickly brought his arm close to his chest, searching the broad wing until he found the feather that had been giving him trouble, and quickly put it back into its proper place.
Kel’vara found herself staring a little as the knight preened himself, before she turned away, her feathers fluffing a little in embarrassment. “Yes, and… ah, and in addition, the creature won’t be as weak as when we fished it from the river. It has an ǣon level spirit, after all, regardless of any actual ability it may or may not possess. We’ll be lucky to be able to intrude on its dreams at all.”
If Valros noticed her discomfort, he didn’t show it. Instead, he stood up and made his way to the window. “I remember the Sunrise Tribe had something to communicate, but it was mainly used to control their apprentices during ǣon training. It was supposed to be able to cross language barriers, but I don’t think we want to be dredging up the old ways…”
Kel’vara shuddered a little. “Those ways were barbaric.”
Valros nodded at her, but did not say anything as he stared out the window. “I suppose the only choice we have is to slowly teach the thing how to speak.”
“That’s not as easy as it sounds, though,” Kel’vara said, shaking her head. Valros looked at her, one of his brows raised, prompting her to continue. “When I treated his wounds, I ran a number of tests on him. He’s showing the symptoms of someone who has been transmuted into another shape entirely, except that he has no binding spellform keeping him in that shape.”
Valros looked confused at this. “You’ll have to forgive me, M'lady, but my knowledge of magic is somewhat limited to a handful of combat spells. You’ll have to use less formal terms with me.”
Kel’vara rolled her eyes a little, then used her magic to pull the water from the bucket again. With a thought, she caused the water to take on the shape of a dragon again. “With magic, it is possible to force something to assume another shape or state. Such as turning a dragon into a pig.” With a little exertion, the water took on the desired shape. “I’ll not bore you with the details, but things… well, they remember what they were. Always. If the spell is not properly maintained, the spellform will eventually fall apart, and the thing will revert. This is because things want to return to their old state. They’ll continue chipping away at the spellform, increasing the difficulty of keeping things in their altered state, until it grows beyond the mage’s ability to control. It’s why you cannot turn copper into gold and have it stay that way, or why you cannot turn dirt into food without accidentally poisoning someone.”
“Or purposefully poisoning someone,” Valros pointed out. “I remember history class at least. That happened quite a number of times during the Clan Wars.”
“It was a popular method of assassination, yes, but the old ruling class quickly caught on, and began screening their food before eating.” Kel’vara furrowed her eyes as she twisted the water to appear like the creature. “Whatever the bug-like aliens did to the creature, it didn’t involve magic. ‘The creature’s shape isn’t his own,’ if you remember what the queen told us. It’s entirely possible that it’s lost the ability to speak, even in its own language.”
Valros thought about this for a time. “Well, can’t we turn it back? Reverse the changes, and return it to its original shape?”
Kel’vara thought about this for a little bit, but shook her head. “It’s… possible, but there are so many unknowns. I was even afraid of using regeneration magic on him when I healed him. I had to resort to sealing spells to repair the damage.”
Valros looked confused. “I’m not sure I follow. I thought you healed it up pretty good.”
“I didn’t heal it at all. All I did was fuse its skin together, and do some very basic repair based on that strategy, to keep it from bleeding internally or externally. It’s why I still applied bandages, in case those wounds reopened; I couldn’t risk regenerating it,” Kel’vara explained, her voice both pained and exasperated.
Valros still didn’t understand what the fuss was about, though. “Why not? What’s the big deal if you use a little regeneration? And what does this have to do with changing it back?”
“Everything!” Kel’vara said, standing up in anger as she rubbed both hands through her crest. In response, the water in her grip twisted and flowed into strange shapes, a clear reflection of the tormented state of the battlemage’s mind. “This is an entirely unknown scenario, with an entirely unknown species! The spell to do this doesn’t even exist! All we have are spells to change something into something else, not to return something to its original shape. The way we would do this if this were a magical affliction would be to simply collapse the spellform, but this isn’t magic! If I were to try to change it back, any number of things could go wrong, the least being the creature dies a quick, painful death as it turns completely inside out! The closest I can come up with is the regeneration spell, which would force accelerated cell mitosis using the target’s remembered form, not its changed form. If I did use regeneration, it is entirely possible that the creature might revert…”
“...But?” Valros asked, knowing that there was a but in there somewhere.
“But the creature’s body might start attacking itself, killing itself from the inside out! The two different sets of genetic material might merge, making it into something even more monstrous than it is now! Any number of things could go wrong!” Kel’vara shouted, the water next to her turning into some kind of lumbering beast, whose basic shape only vaguely resembled the creature in the forest.
Valros held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s probably a bad idea… but what do we do, then?”
Kel’vara collapsed into her chair, the water that she had been shaping falling into the bucket at the same time. “I don’t know… I really don’t know…”
Valros rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, there’s always pictures and trying to teach it to read…”
“That would take even longer than just teaching it to talk,” Kel’vara said dismissively. “Especially since it probably can’t-”
Before Kel’vara finished, a voice chimed in, interrupting her thought process. It seemed to be coming from the lieutenant’s belt pouch, and based on the tone of the speaker’s voice, whatever it was was urgent. “Sir Valros! Are you there?”
Valros quickly pulled out his whispering stone and gave it a squeeze, worry building in his heart. “What’s wrong, Calis?”
He almost wished he hadn’t asked, because what Calis said next turned his insides to ice. “Sir, I’m relaying a message. Viar and his drakes need backup, and they need it now. It’s those bug aliens the queen told us about. They’re here.”
First Previous
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Dun dun dun!!
Remember: if you can't wait, and want to find out what happens now, you can always just buy the books...
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What I've Become
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Posts in the series

• First: Here
• Second: Here
• Third: Here
• Fourth: Here (Unplanned)
• Fifth: Here
• Sixth: Here
• Seventh: Here
• Eighth: This

Brief recap

In the previous post, we continued our analysis with a second round of eliminations of more religions that cannot reasonably be from a judging and fair God. At this point, only the Abrahamic religions remain to be analyzed, which we will do below.
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The reason I wanted to analyze the Abrahamic religions together last is because they have many similarities. For one, they reference the same God and agree on many details: similar people, similar places, similar events and for the most part, even originated in the same region. In addition, two of them are the biggest religions in the world today, far ahead of all other religions in terms of adoption, nearly accounting for half of the people on the planet! The fact that they are spread out in time and that they reference each other, can at least in theory, represent a pattern of recurring communication. It's also possible that they're just copying from each others. Let's see!
The timeline of appearance of the Abrahamic religions from old to new is as follows:
Judaism

• Year of inception: 3500 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
• Messenger: Moses
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham...

Christianity

• Year of inception: 2000 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
• Messenger: Jesus
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses & other prophets.

Islam

• Year of inception: 1400 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Saudi Arabia)
• Messenger: Muhammad
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus & other prophets.

Druze

• Year of inception: 1000 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Egypt)
• Messenger: Hamza Ibn Ali Ibn Ahmad
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad & other prophets.

Mormonism

• Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: New York, United States of America
• Messenger: Joseph Smith
• Referenced prophets: Moses & Jesus. Does NOT reference Muhammad (Islam) nor Hamza (Druze)

Baha’i Faith

• Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Iran)
• Messenger: Baháʼu'lláh
• Referenced prophets: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha...

Can the Abrahamic religions be instances of communication from their common God? It’s possible, however some issues surface:

• Issue 1: The Druze faith stands out with its secretive nature as it is intentionally restricted. This not only opposes the intention of communication, but also contrasts with the other Abrahamic religions that are all open.
• Issue 2: Mormonism and Baha’i Faith both start nearly 200 years ago in different places while not being compatible with each other. They cannot be both instances of communication. One of them isn’t, or both aren’t.
• Issue 3: Mormonism doesn’t accept Islam nor Druze, while Baha’i Faith accepts all major religions, even Buddhism, which is incompatible with Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Let’s keep the issues above in mind and apply the same criteria to the Abrahamic religions in the same way we did to all of the others. We will analyze them in the chronological order of their appearance.

Judaism

Let's analyze the message of Judaism.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Judaism warns of judgment day and explains the conditions for success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss! It's the first religion to pass this criteria.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. While anyone can technically convert to Judaism, it seems like it was specifically destined for Hebrew people, who later became the Israelites. Many prophets after Moses were specific to the Israelites it seems. The beliefs themselves are universal, in that they don’t have anything in particular that caters to a specific group. Still, it seems restricted to the ethnic Jewish group.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Judaism references previous prophets of monotheism who were supposedly sent by the same God. Prophets like Noah and Abraham. This means that before Judaism came along, there were previous instances of communication, which is necessary for a judging and fair God.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. The idea that a God created everything and is testing humanity here on Earth is plausible and does align with the reality we are living. Almost all humans share a common life track: birth, weakness with need of care, strength and autonomy, weakness with need of care again, then death. Moreover, all humans have a certain level of free will. While no absolute free will of action exists, the free will to think and accept or reject ideas is guaranteed. This makes the judgment of such free will possible.

Now let's analyze Moses, the founder of Judaism.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. He was a leader to his people, the Hebrews. He saved them from the oppression they were living in under the Egyptians (1). He was known for his sense of justice and courage (2). Many of his stories are told in the Bible as well as in the Qur’an.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Moses is the first to pass this criterion. Every single founder of religion who was mentioned previously, was publicly involved with either an existing religion that served as a launch pad or had a profession or interest that prepared the terrain for their claim. Moses was raised by the Egyptians, but never adopted their religion, nor was he involved in any other religion that he publicly taught or engaged in. He also wasn’t known to have any profession where he produced thought or knowledge.
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Moses killed an Egyptian who was mistreating one of his people. According to Britannica, Moses voluntarily killed the Egyptian after making sure that no one was looking (3). However, according to the Qur’an, Moses killed the Egyptian by accident after hitting him, and was instantly regretful asking God for forgiveness (4). Regardless of which version of the story is true, Moses fled because he feared for his life. Now here’s the sudden life direction change, he came back after a while by his own volition claiming to be sent by some God who was unknown to the Egyptians, then confronted the Pharaoh himself!!! No sane man would do such a thing! And not just that, he survived everything and won in the end!!!
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, put forward the exceptional claim that he was sent by a God he wasn't involved with when he left, confronted the ruler, and succeeded against incredible odds!
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. The message of Moses had and still has a big influence on this very day! There probably aren’t many people in the world today who don’t know who Moses is, regardless of their beliefs. He is one of the most important prophets in many major religions. His legacy is still a part of the Bible as the Old Testament.

If there is a judging and fair God, Moses is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He passes all the criteria while explicitly making the claim of being sent by a God. If he was a fraud, he would have had an existing history of it, and he wouldn’t have dared to come back to a place where he killed someone and feared for his life, then challenge its ruler and win! If he was a deluded self-appointed leader to his people, that delusion would have been his demise. He would have been killed, as other religious founders have. Instead, he and his people, although an oppressed minority without any military power, were able to escape their oppressors and defeat them! This is impossible without some powerful external assistance.
One can reasonably claim that the story of Moses is just a myth that is made to look impressive. That would be fair, except it had more impact than what a myth can fathom. That being said, even if we accept that it’s all a myth, or at least a heavily augmented truth, it is still told by other Abrahamic prophets who happen to have had similar or more impact than Moses did. This makes his story as valid as theirs can be. So, let’s continue our analysis.
Sources:
(1) From Britannica: Moses... Hebrew prophet, teacher, and leader who, in the 13th century bce... delivered his people from Egyptian slavery...
(2) From Britannica: ...When he found an Egyptian taskmaster beating a Hebrew, probably to death, he could control his sense of justice no longer...
(3) From Britannica: ...After checking to make sure that no one was in sight, he killed the tough Egyptian overlord...
(4) From the Qur’an (translation): ˹One day˺ he entered the city unnoticed by its people. There he found two men fighting: one of his own people, and the other of his enemies. The man from his people called to him for help against his foe. So Moses punched him, causing his death. Moses cried, “This is from Satan’s handiwork. He is certainly a sworn, misleading enemy.” He pleaded, “My Lord! I have definitely wronged my soul, so forgive me.” So He forgave him, ˹for˺ He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Christianity

Let's analyze the message of Christianity.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. It does warn of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. It is definitely universal. Anyone can be a Christian, and it’s easy to find Christians from different countries, different ethnicities speaking different languages. It doesn’t get as universal as this!
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It references previous religions and prophets, like Noah, Abraham, Moses, and many others. All of them being sent by the same God.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Some concepts in Christianity don’t align with reality well. Christians view Jesus as the son of God, but also as a part of God. God being three different entities, but still one: God the father, the holy spirit and the son. A concept called the trinity. Christians believe that God sacrificed his son in order to absolve humans from their sins. This doesn’t quite make sense for many reasons:

1: If God sacrificed his son in order to absolve us of our sins, judgment wouldn’t make sense. Also, why does a God have a son? Mortals have children to continue the species and to provide for them when they grow weak. A God doesn’t need a son...

1. If God sacrificed his son, also a part of himself, it should have been the final act of life here on Earth. Instead, he let Muhammad come after and be so successful in reversing this idea, all while claiming to be sent by him!!! And what about the people who died a long time ago and never knew about this important sacrifice?
   
2. The idea that God is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-loving doesn’t stand for a judging God. It simply isn’t possible for him to have these 3 attributes at the same time. If he is all-knowing, then he knows that many humans will fail his judgment and be severely punished. Consequently, if he is also all-powerful, being all-loving would have him not resort to judgment and not punish anyone. Since he insists on judgment with a heaven and hell, then he isn’t all-loving. Muhammad also happens to correct this idea.
   
3. The conditions of success and failure in the upcoming judgment are not particularly fair. It’s not about what actions one does during their life, rather, it’s about accepting Jesus as savior. One can be the most ruthless killer, then just accept Jesus as savior in order to be absolved of all wrongdoing. Also, what about all the people who lived and died before Jesus was even born? They didn’t know Jesus; how can they accept him as savior? Haven’t they spent their lives following other rules? Isn’t that unfair to them?
   

Now let's analyze Jesus, the founder of Christianity.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Jesus had a notoriously flawless social reputation and was known for his noble morals.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. He was raised Jewish, however he wasn’t particularly involved in any public religious activity, nor did he engage in any activity that produced thought or knowledge. He was a carpenter by trade (1), until his mission started. After which, and this is critical, he was immediately at odds with the existing Jewish teachings to the point of being in danger!
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. He was known to be a carpenter, then he suddenly turned into an itinerant preacher at odds with the established teachings (2). If he had been publicly learning or teaching Judaism before his claim, he would have failed this criterion, as almost all others have. However, it’s not the case, and the transformation is self-produced and puzzling! How does a carpenter who isn’t involved with religious matters nor any knowledge or thought producing profession, suddenly become an itinerant preacher with enough difference to the established faith to become a threat and a target?
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He died for his mission (the Christian version is in contrast with the Islamic version here). There is no better test of devotion. He also was at odds with the established Jewish religion, which made him a target. Most of the founders of religion that we have seen, never entered in conflict with the existing religions at the beginning, rather, they built upon them and benefited from their involvement with them.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Christianity is the biggest religion today! Nearly 25% of humans are Christians, and the rest know or have heard of Jesus. Now this, is communication!!!

Similar to Moses, if there is a judging and fair God, Jesus is highly likely to be one of his messengers. His feat is even more impressive than that of Moses. His mission and success in correcting and complementing the existing Jewish faith against incredible odds, adds more credibility to his claim. Jesus changed the world and continues to do so today!
Sources:
(1) From Britannica: ...Joseph is said to have been a carpenter (Matthew 13:55)—that is, a craftsman who worked with his hands—and, according to Mark 6:3, Jesus also became a carpenter...
(2) From Britannica: ...As a young adult, he went to be baptized by the prophet John the Baptist and shortly thereafter became an itinerant preacher and healer (Mark 1:2–28). In his mid-30s Jesus had a short public career, lasting perhaps less than one year, during which he attracted considerable attention...

Islam

Let's analyze the message of Islam.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Islam clearly warns of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. Consequently, it’s not safe to dismiss.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. Islam is universal. Anyone can be a Muslim, and it’s quite easy to find two Muslims who are from different countries, ethnicities and don’t share the same language. The yearly pilgrimage where millions of Muslims gather is proof to how diverse Muslims can be.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Islam references many past prophets (25 in total), including but not limited to: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, David, Jacob, Jonas, Moses, Jesus... It clearly states that God has been communicating since the beginning out of fairness, so that people wouldn’t find any excuse when judgment comes!
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. Islam insists on monotheism, and clearly reverses the trinity concept that has gotten into Christianity, as well as the idea that God is all-loving, on top of being all-knowing and all-powerful.

It aligns with reality well by describing reality as a test of free will. Life is neither the suffering Buddhism makes it out to be (which it isn’t), nor is it the joyous life Tenrikyo claims it should be (which again, isn’t). Every single human is continuously tested through good and bad. When it is something bad, it is their patience and acceptance that is tested. When it is something good, it is their capacity of being thankful and generous that is tested. Everyone’s life is a mix of good and bad. Exceptions exist and are accounted for.
Islam states that God has been sending prophets since the beginning in order to remind people that judgment is coming. It states that people who didn’t get the message will be tested again. Those who got the message of the prophet of their time, accepted it and followed its guidelines, shall pass the judgment. Those who rejected the message after receiving it clearly shall fail.
Now let's analyze Muhammad, the founder of Islam.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Prior to his claim, Muhammad was highly regarded by his community and known for his trustworthiness (1).
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Again here, Muhammad was not involved in the pagan polytheist religion of his community, even though it was popular, nor was he involved in any other religion. He was a successful merchant (2) and notoriously illiterate (3). He didn’t have any profession or interest that produced thought or knowledge.
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Muhammad’s life changed drastically after he supposedly received revelation. The first contact shocked him greatly (4). After telling his wife what happened, she took him to her cousin who was knowledgeable about the Jewish faith. He told Muhammad that what happened to him was similar to Moses, and that a day will come when his community chases him away.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Muhammad suffered a lot for his claim and was under constant threat of death (5). He used to request to be guarded at night, however upon receiving revelation that God will protect him from people, he sent the guards away from that moment on (6). He was never harmed even while having many enemies who wanted to kill him.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Muhammad, an illiterate person living in a remote desert, without any special means or skills, was able to spread his message everywhere, and he predicted it from the start (7). He created a civilization that would change the world in just 23 years. Like Christianity, Islam is found almost everywhere, and almost everyone has heard of him and his religion. It’s not by chance that the most popular male first name in the world today is “Muhammad” (8).

If a judging and fair God exists, Muhammad is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He was leading a normal and regular life in a polytheistic society for 40 years, then suddenly started preaching monotheism, suffering for it and even going to war for it.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Due to his upright character he acquired the nickname "al-Amin" (Arabic: الامين), meaning "faithful, trustworthy" and "al-Sadiq" meaning "truthful" and was sought out as an impartial arbitrator. His reputation attracted a proposal in 595 from Khadijah, a successful businesswoman. Muhammad consented to the marriage, which by all accounts was a happy one...
(2) From Wikipedia: ... It is known that he became a merchant and "was involved in trade between the Indian Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea...
(3) From Wikipedia: ... Because he could not read and write himself...
(4) From Wikipedia: ...Muhammad was deeply distressed upon receiving his first revelations. After returning home, Muhammad was consoled and reassured by Khadijah and her Christian [sic] cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal. He also feared that others would dismiss his claims as being possessed...
(5) From Wikipedia: ...Regardless, several attempts were made at Muhammad's life...
(6) From Qur’an. Aisha said: "The Prophet was being guarded until this verse وَاللَّهُ يَعْصِمُكَ مِنَ النَّاسِ (Allah will protect you from mankind) was revealed." She added; "The Prophet raised his head from the room and said; «يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ انْصَرِفُوا فَقَدْ عَصَمَنِي اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَل» (O people! Go away, for Allah will protect me)"
(7) From Sunnah: Miqdad reported that he heard God’s messenger say, “There will not remain on the face of the earth a mud-brick house or a camel’s hair tent which God will not cause the confession of Islam to enter bringing both mighty honour and abject abasement. God will either honour the occupants and put them among its adherents, or will humiliate them and they will be subject to it.” Miqdad said, “God will then receive complete obedience.”
(8) https://www.thebump.com/b/muhammad-baby-name

Druze

Let’s analyze the Druze faith!

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): FAIL. It’s not an extinct religion, but it is intentionally restricted and doesn’t accept conversions to it. How can this be a communication from a judging and fair God if the people being judged cannot have access to the material they need to succeed? If it stated that only a specific audience was targeted, that might have worked, but it doesn't say that, at least not when it started.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Since Druze references other Abrahamic religions, I’m giving it a pass here, even though it’s not clear what the Druze actually believe.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It’s far from being universal. It doesn’t want to be, and it’s not.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It does reference other religions, even though it’s not clear in what capacity. Are the previous religions considered as previous instances of communication? Or does it complete its worldview with their knowledge? I’ll give it a pass.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Its closed nature makes it impossible for it to align with reality.

Now let's analyze Hamza Ibn Ali, the founder of Druze.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. The Druze faith was named after Al-Darzi, who might have been either a disciple or a teacher of Hamza. A rivalry appeared between the two. Al-Darzi disputed the role of Hamza as the leader of the movement. They were both acquiring followers and engaged in regular brawls (1). So in summary, God supposedly sent Hamza as a messenger preaching that the current ruler was the embodiment of said God (If God is the embodiment of the ruler, why need Hamza at all?!!), then another man entered in competition with this messenger, who was also tolerated by the ruler, and even ended up giving his name to the movement, all the while the followers of each man fought each other. Then after said ruler was killed, the movement disappeared from its place of inception, but survived elsewhere and became a restricted religion. This doesn’t show anyone involved in a good light, especially not Hamza.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. There isn’t enough information about Hamza Ibn Ali before he entered Egypt in 1017. However, he fails the non-involvement rule, as he was appointed as a preacher in his own mosque before he started claiming that the reigning caliph was the embodiment of God (2). Rather convenient since that granted him support and favors (3).
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. He supposedly received revelation, however that didn’t seem to cause any change in his life whatsoever. Receiving an unexpected contact from some God is supposed to cause a noticeable drastic change in one’s life, unless such revelation was expected or planned. Suffice it to say that he was already a preacher before supposedly receiving revelation.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Hamza definitely feared for his life but continued with his claim. He went into hiding, which seems a little bit cowardly for a prophet. In contrast, Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, because he believed there was a God protecting him. The same happened with Muhammad who confidently sent guards away after revelation. However, since Hamza continued with his claim, considering this as a pass seems fair.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. Hamza Ibn Ali failed to spread his message even though he initially set out to (4). If one is to say that the message couldn’t spread because of persecution, well, the same persecution occurred for Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and yet, these messages spread everywhere despite everything.

It’s extremely unlikely that the Druze faith is a communication from a judging and fair God. Its founder fails a combination of some important criteria.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Indeed, in his epistles, Hamza is critical of his colleague, both for al-Darzi's disputing Hamza's role as the leader of their movement, as well as for his followers' over-zealous, extremist and provocative actions, which revealed the movement's ideas prematurely and placed it under danger of attack... During this time, the followers of the rival leaders engaged in regular brawls in the streets of Cairo, cursing one another as infidels.
(2) From Britannica: ...Almost nothing is known of his life before he entered Egypt in 1017. He became a spokesman for the religious convictions of the Fāṭimid caliph al-Ḥākim (the Fāṭimids were the ruling dynasty in Egypt), who was already accorded the position of imām, a divinely appointed and authoritative spokesman for Islam...
(3) From Wikipedia: ...According to the medieval chroniclers, he too enjoyed signs of favour from al-Hakim: when he complained to the Caliph that his life was in danger, he was given weapons, which he demonstratively hung on every entrance to the Raydan Mosque...
(4) From Britannica: ...Considerable resistance to these doctrines appeared when they were first preached in 1017, and Ḥamzah went into hiding until 1019, when al-Ḥākim was able to move vigorously to support the new religious movement... Ḥamzah claimed to be representing not just another sect but rather an independent religion, one that superseded traditional Islam. Al-Ḥākim disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 1021, and, much persecuted, the Druze cult all but ceased to exist in Egypt...

Mormonism

Let’s analyze Mormonism:

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Mormonism is built on top of Christianity and Judaism, to which it delegates a vast chunk of knowledge. Consequently, I’ll give it a pass here.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It is far from being universal. If it was God’s way to bring Christianity to its rightful state, the least we can say is that it didn’t happen. Most of Mormons are still in Utah (U.S state), where they went after Smith was killed.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Mormonism references both Christianity and Judaism. This makes it pass this criterion, however, the fact that it doesn’t reference Islam is problematic for its worldview.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Being based on Christianity, Mormonism inherits some of the same issues. It corrects some, but also introduces some of its own. For example, Mormonism states that there are three separate divine entities, God the father, Jesus Christ and the holy spirit. They’re not three in one, as Christianity says. This doesn’t solve the issue of sacrificing one divine entity for the sins of humans while still judging them. It only adds complexity. Are these Gods equal? What if they don’t agree on something? This also goes against Judaism, which Mormonism references, and with Judaism comes the whole legacy of monotheism! Mormonism corrects the idea that salvation only depends on accepting Jesus as savior. It adds the fact that deeds play a role, which is fair.

Now let's analyze Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. Smith’s reputation was less than stellar (1). His treasure hunting profession isn’t exactly the most honest of professions. Also, eloping to marry his wife, attempting to marry already married women, escaping justice, dying in a shoot-out with the mob...
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. He fails the non-involvement rule on many accounts. He was heavily involved with public religious activity and even magic, in a place and time where religious revivalism thrived (2).
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Supposedly receiving revelation in 1823 via the angel he called Moroni, didn’t surprise him, nor seemed to have much effect on his life direction. He continued treasure seeking using questionable methods and leading the same life.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Smith was extremely devoted to his cause. He never gave up until the end!
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Mormonism was God’s way to bring back Christianity to its rightful state, then the mission simply failed. It seems like Christianity enjoys far more universality than Mormonism. In this regard, Smith failed his mission, as most of the followers of the religion are still based where their ancestors ended up after the death of Smith.

Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Meanwhile, the Smith family faced financial hardship... Family members supplemented their meager farm income by hiring out for odd jobs and working as treasure seekers, a type of magical supernaturalism common during the period. Smith was said to have an ability to locate lost items by looking into a seer stone, which he also used in treasure hunting, including, beginning in 1825, several unsuccessful attempts to find buried treasure sponsored by Josiah Stowell, a wealthy farmer in Chenango County, New York. In 1826, Smith was brought before a Chenango County court for "glass-looking", or pretending to find lost treasure; Stowell's relatives accused Smith of tricking Stowell and faking an ability to perceive hidden treasure... Although Smith had abandoned treasure hunting, his former associates believed he had double crossed them and had taken the golden plates for himself, property they believed should be jointly shared. After they ransacked places where they believed the plates might be hidden, Smith decided to leave Palmyra
(2) From Wikipedia: The region was a hotbed of religious enthusiasm during the Second Great Awakening. Between 1817 and 1825, there were several camp meetings and revivals in the Palmyra area… Smith said that he became interested in religion by age 12… With other family members, Smith also engaged in religious folk magic, which was a relatively common practice in that time and place…

Baha'i Faith

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): UNKNOWN. Baha’i Faith claims to be a unification of all the major religions. The issue is that some of the religions it references speak of judgment, like Judaism, Christianity and Islam, while others don’t, like Buddhism and Hinduism. While Baha’i Faith speaks of a day of judgment, it doesn’t seem to view it in the same way. It speaks of deeds being judged, but not according to each religion’s standards, rather, according to Baha’i Faith’s standards, which I have failed to find after multiple searches. If the conditions of success and failure aren’t clear, the God of Baha’i Faith cannot possibly be fair. I’ll mark this as unknown, but it’s actually closer to a failure.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. In theory, Baha’i Faith should be universal, as it calls for the unification of all the major religions. It attempts to please everyone, but even while doing so, its numbers remain low, and is mostly unknown.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): FAIL. Baha’i Faith references all major religions, but not as past instances of communication. It essentially claims that there is only one religion, and that the major religions were manifestations of God, but don’t necessarily represent said unique religion correctly. It references all major religions only to change their core beliefs in order to achieve unification. Said another way, this One God, has left people to be duped by false religions since the start, and only thanks to Baháʼu'lláh in the 1800s, did he think to show the truth to people. What about those who died long before Baháʼu'lláh was even born, and who followed Buddhism for example without ever believing a God existed?
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. This is a big failure. Baha’i Faith doesn’t make much sense, to the point of being revolting, to me at least! It attempts to be everything to everyone. Its founder claims to be Christ returned for Christians, the second coming of Jesus for Sunni Muslims, the Imam Husayn for Shi’a Muslims, the reincarnation of Krishna for Hindus, and the fifth Buddha for Buddhists. Never mind what each one of these symbols means in the context of its own religion, it just takes the concept and runs with it. It disregards most of what is associated with these symbols, it only needs its acknowledged existence. Let’s not forget that most of these religions do not agree with each other! It attempts to reconcile worldviews that are incompatible with each other. It picks and chooses what it wants from each major religion and disregards the rest.

Now let's analyze Baháʼu'lláh, the founder of Baha'i Faith.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Coming from a wealthy family, he was known to give considerable amounts of time and money to charity.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. The founder of Baha’i Faith, Baháʼu'lláh, as well as the founder of Bábism, Siyyid Ali Muhammad, known as the Báb, and who laid the foundation for Baha’i Faith, both fail the non-involvement rule. They were both heavily involved in public religious matters before and at the time of their claims (1) (2). We are not talking about regular religious people going about their day, then making an exceptional claim out of nowhere, no! It’s practically the same scenario every time: a person is deeply involved with religious matters, or actively pursuing a profession or an interest, which leads them either by opportunity or by delusion to their claim. It’s the same here!
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Baháʼu'lláh had already set the course of his life and was already deeply involved in religious matters before he supposedly received his first divine revelation, which was in prison. From then on, not much had changed.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He stood by his claim and spent most of his life in prison. It’s important to note though that he wasn’t initially imprisoned because of his claim. Rather, it was because of his involvement with Bábism.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Baháʼu'lláh was sent by the one and only God in order to unify all major religions, such unification hasn’t happened successfully.

It's highly unlikely that Baha'i Faith is a communication from a judging and fair God.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: Some of his earlier writings suggest that he did not enjoy the business and instead applied himself to the study of religious literature… He was constantly absorbed in his own thoughts, and was preoccupied with repetition of his prayers and verses… In 1841 the Báb went on pilgrimage to Iraq, and for seven months stayed mostly in and around Karbala. There he attended lectures of Kazim Rashti and became his follower… As of his death in December 1843, Kazim Rashti counseled his followers to leave their homes to seek the Mahdi, who, according to his prophecies, would soon appear. One of these followers, Mullá Husayn, after keeping vigil for 40 days in a mosque, traveled to Shiraz, where he met the Báb…
(2) From Wikipedia: Soon after declaring his spiritual mission to Mullá Husayn, the Báb sent him to Tehran to deliver a special tablet to one whom God would guide him to. After learning about Baháʼu'lláh through an acquaintance, Mullá Husayn felt compelled to arrange for Baháʼu'lláh to receive the tablet—this news brought great joy to the Báb when Mullá Husayn wrote to him about it…

Summary

After analyzing all the religions, the ones that are highly likely to be communications from a judging and fair God if one exists, are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They are the only religions that satisfy most of the criteria. In fact, their founders are the ONLY ones who satisfy all the criteria, specifically the criterion of non-involvement prior to their claim of a contact with a God. All the other founders were involved in one way or another, making their claim a possible result of either fraud or delusion.
It is important to note though: we haven't proven that a judging and fair God exists, and we haven't proven that these religions are actually communications from him, not at all. All we did was to reasonably prove that if a judging and fair God exists, then Judaism, Christianity and Islam are highly likely to be communications from him.
In the next post, we will continue our research and see how we can reasonably prove that a judging and fair God exists.
Until next time!

The 3 basic parameters of hashtag #Valzubiriagenda:

1. We artists and everyone else can write and self-publish art- and artist-related books: memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs. Books are forever. Pamphlets and brochures are not books.
2. We announce a schedule of increasing prices of our art pieces, which includes quantities (scarcity numbers) per price point and overall (the total quantity of art pieces we might ever make). This helps art traders, art investors and art collectors speculate or even stop speculating and instead join a community of investors working together to hopefully skyrocket to the higher announced prices in a shorter span of time.
3. We can use the NFT world, because NFTs provide the tracking (who owns what) and trading.

We can also not be involved with NFTs. Stores and individuals can help sell art using online presence and our catalogs in the stores. If this trends, or once this trends, even expensive art can be sold by neighboring businesses, without exclusivity. Commission systems do not have to be standardized. Art investors can produce their own catalogs to leave at the cafés. Even the cafés can produce their own catalogs.
Valzubiriagenda NFTs
NFTs only came about a few years ago. But I had been working on this since the 1990s. I wrote a book, Valzubiriagenda, along with fellow artist Silverio Perez, and released it in 2018 (Amazon and elsewhere), tackling everything related to #1 & #2. We'll come up with #3 in a later book/ memoi marketing book.
Any artist, including tangible artists can release 10,000 NFTs if the artist chooses to do so. For tangible artists, the NFT first becomes an Art Commission Contract for sight unseen, yet-to-be made art. Once the art is made, the NFT becomes proof of ownership that the actual, tangible art is theirs.
Warehousing our tangible art
Another related idea is that the tangible art may be warehoused by the artist so that the NFT traders continue to trade. This means that even 10-ton 10-foot tall sculptures can be owned and traded by anyone without worrying about shipping, reshipping, scratches, smudges, parts breaking off, etc. The newness of the pieces remain because they are stored by the artist, source, gallery, etc. The art piece gets shipped to the art collector, the ultimate owner.
An artist who makes ceramic coffee mugs - smaller art pieces, can release 10,000 NFTs with a schedule of increasing prices so that NFT traders can trade immediately. The 10,000 coffee mugs can get damaged, so as they are made, they continue to be stored by the artist, until the time when art collectors decide to have the art pieces shipped to them.
Why only now?
I decided to write as many book-length memoirs as I can before I came out to promote this.
I'm an artist and an author. Both need time to "master." I would not even fully use "master" on myself, because there's always something new, even to my own art, my own writing and publishing.

I am now claiming that I'm the visual artist who has produced the most artist memoirs in the world. I have 5 on Amazon. I count Valzubiriagenda as both a marketing book and a memoir-of-sorts, because it has a lot of my own life lessons on writing and publishing. I would not care to contest my claim of having the most memoirs. I will release 5 more over the next 3 years.

BARTER! Get help to write, photograph art and publish your books!
Anyone can hire 11 ghostwriters for 11 memoirs. If you can make art, but you cannot write, then barter your forever art with those who can help you produce forever books.
I don't feel the pressure of writing and publishing because I feel my focus should be on art students and art experts who would study my art and my books 100 years from now. Don't expect relatives and friends to read your books.
I call myself the Dollman
For my NFTs, I am proposing to make dioramas - my original, costumed, bejeweled porcelain dolls in backdrops that will also have precious metals and gemstones. This way I can incorporate precious metals and gemstones in my work, to make sure that people perceive my art as expensive, just in case I myself don't become "famous" - there's no need to get world famous. We are artists and all we need to do is to satisfy the art niche.
Use your laptop now!
I will encourage you to start writing your book-length memoir. Write, Edit and then Self-publish it. Get help. Why wait a hundred years for someone to write about you when all you need is a laptop and a nearby coffee shop.
Don't start counting chickens before the eggs hatch. I have encountered a lot of would-be writers who immediately see themselves as bestselling. world famous assets to society. Two even wanted me to sign NDAs (Nondisclosure agreements), because they did not want me to steal their book ideas.
Here's a suggestion. I would not personally do it. From one manuscript can come 2 books: The Original Draft (unedited, with misspellings, considered to be an art piece, scanned pages(?) of your handwritten original effort), and The Final Edition (edited).
PROVENANCE!
Another way to enhance our investability, tradability and collectability is PROVENANCE - how art ownership proceeds through time. The way this can be done is also through publishing books. Everyone can write their memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs, including traders, investors and art collectors. In effect, we artists can continue to be included or mentioned in even more books, without any additional effort by us.
You as an investor, reseller, trader, art collector should be able to publish a catalog with 250 works by 250 different artists, but they need to agree to this right from the start - it's your money, you should require them to follow your version of the hashtag #valzubiriagenda parameters, which preferably should include permission for you to publish their art. Why would you track down 250 artists later?
No exclusive contracts
If you're a café, you can call for artists, and come up with a book with for example, 30 artists, with a chapter devoted to each artist's profile and images of the artist's art.
You can distribute your catalogs to businesses and individuals near and far and online.
The book Valzubiriagenda even cites that funeral homes and janitors closets can sell art, with or without exclusivity. Airline catalogs can include million dollar art pieces. Car manufacturers, showrooms and even car repair shops can sell art as well. Everyone should be able to do this, anywhere in the world, especially not just because of the pandemic, but right now, we are in really bad economies.
What's with the name #Valzubiriagenda
I was into conspiracy theories in 2018, and this term, "The Mandela Effect," was popular. I had read many times that an artist coined the term, but I had to research online, for her name, many times, before remembering it. I'm not good at remembering names. It took me a year and a half to finally tell you that Fiona Broome coined "The Mandela Effect."
I also thought I might have to research trademarks and copyrights just to come up with a generic name. So I decided on "Valzubiriagenda." I was not really sure at first, but I decided to use it as the title for my book (with co-authoartist Silverio Perez) so that there would be no turning back and I can move on.
Am I a FUTURIST?
Someone I recently met this May 2022 just called me a futurist.
In the 1990s, I proposed to a pension fund that they can raise billions of dollars, especially for emergencies, or as needed, or out of desperation, if the pension fund purchases a quantity of art from an artist who not only has a current, reasonable price, but an announced future price that the artist wants to reach.
That future price would obviously be higher than the current price. The art commission contract for multiple art pieces can be taken to the fund's financial lender for a loan. The higher future price can be used for financing purposes.
The pension fund's treasurer, a publicly elected official, said this idea might work, but we had to keep this a secret and discuss this some more, because other pension funds might copy and do this prematurely. This idea had to come from the two of us. The treasurer needed his votes and I needed credentials.
Added into the pot was my idea that I, as the artist, will also write one book-length artist memoir. This was and still is a strong factor, because the leadership and marketing books I had read then mentioned a strong tip. If you want to advance in your field, write a full-length book that is related to the field.
Unfortunately, the elected official, the treasurer of the pension fund, who was also a friend, passed away - he was old and had ailments. At that point in time, I cannot just approach another pension fund treasurer to share this idea with.
I realized I had to write a few memoirs. I needed to set an example for other artists, so I needed to write more than one memoir. Then I felt I should also make ready another book - the how-to of what I'm up to. I wrote Valzubiriagenda, which was a memoir of sorts. I knew how long it would take me to write a book, so I had to make sure I can also consider this book a memoir.
In 2008, I imagined that someone like Bernie Madoff, or a fund like Lehman Brothers, would be desperate enough to use this to save themselves and their companies. I was not ready. I had only written 1 manuscript for a memoir.
In 2012, I released Dollman the Musical, A Memoir of an Artist as a Dollmaker. Once again, I was not ready because writing it depressed me a little, and I knew I had to write more.
In 2014, I released 3 memoirs, and re-released Dollman the Musical. Besides releasing regular books, I released special editions of the 4 books, which had a "Special Secret Insert for Bankers," which explains my ideas of an announced schedule of exponentially increasing prices, to satisfy investors, and the publication of artist memoirs, to satisfy art collectors.
In 2014, I also issued out a press release. Google "Can Billion Dollar Artist Save Investors and World Economy Valentino Zubiri PRWeb August 19 2014" and you will see the press release.
What I did was stake a claim on my ideas. I did not promote my books and the press release. I just wanted them to stay online, like a sleeping giant or a dormant volcano. I even designed 3 of the book covers to look like indie books from the 1980s. I was planting the seeds, thinking they will eventually grow and bear fruit in the future.
In 2015, I was interviewed by Richard Syrett, about one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately. This book is my memoir with paranormal stories. I could have pursued promoting my paranormal stories, but I wanted to be known first as a visual artist and memoirist, so I allowed myself one interview related to Hocus Pocus Lately. Richard Syrett has(had?) his own syndicated radio show, The Conspiracy Show with Richard Syrett, about the paranormal. He also guest hosts on Coast to Coast AM, another internationally syndicated show about the paranormal.
In 2018, I released Valzubiriagenda (co-authored by artist Silverio Perez, a fellow artist). Finally, this book is "the how-to of what I'm to."
I'm going to end this with some strangeness. In 1986, a lady at a religious gathering went into a trance and left a good number of messages. Supposedly, anyone who got into a trance would have messages, but once the trance was over, the person would not remember what was said.
I was not part of the group, but the lady turned her head to face me. She "foretold" that whatever I would decide to do in the future, it will take time, but it will be the right thing. This is one of my stories in one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately.
The Tulipmania of 1634-37
I discovered that there was this incident of rare tulips becoming collectible during the Dutch Golden Age. There were tulips so rare and so well-desired that their prices equaled to that of a house. You can read more about this online (Wikipedia) or watch a few YouTube videos about it.
Here is the most useful idea that I gleaned from the Tulipmania. The tulip bulbs remained safe inside nurseries. The traders were carrying the deeds of ownership to the tulip bulbs.
Then NFTs came to the forefront
I started learning PHP, an HTML scripting language, and MySQL, the database that PHP can connect to in the background, in 1999, when there were only 3 books about PHP and MySQL at the bookstores.
By 2014, I was trying to figure out how to make the "ledger," or database that can be used to update ownership and who can be contacted. If we are trading art, then the art ownership should be updated.
Then NFTs came about. This can be used as our ledger. Everyone can immediately trade NFTs of future, yet-to-be made art pieces, especially because it takes time to make tangible art.
NFTs actually went a step ahead, by allowing digital art to be traded.
The only setback with NFTs, in my opinion, is that it still lacks a commission system for resellers and representatives.
For example, if a café wants to represent me, then they can promote me at their café and on their online pages. If I make one piece of art that will be exclusively represented by a gallery, then that commission will be different and more specific. As ownership is transferred, the subsequent owners should be able to reset the commission. We should also have the option of giving commissions to hundreds of representatives at one time with different percentages if need be.
The recent crypto crash
Lately, we have observed that NFTs and cryptocurrencies have been behaving like the stock market and other markets. They have been fluctuating.
I believe that it is time for a trend which discourages fluctuation of prices.
I have also seen YouTube videos where social influencers are encouraging us to be on the lookout for exponentially profitable ventures, because we have all seen this happen with the exponential increase of Bitcoin and Ethereum.
Let's see if #Valzubiriagenda trends
We can announce present and future art prices. The galleries won't do this (yet?) because they follow a more traditional approach to the business of art.
We have a choice of using incrementally or exponentially increasing prices. We still reserve the right to change things in the future, so everyone should know to follow the latest update.
If this trends, if you as an artist simply announces that you will write an artist memoir, or that you will include the future works in future art books, you might have more art traders, investors and collectors approaching you.
Get your pen, paper and calculator
Imagine yourself as an artist, where you are right now. Let's just say you still do not have a book about yourself and your art yet. Imagine now that you have a memoir out there. Don't you think it makes sense to charge more than what you are charging now? Writing and publishing books is just the beginning. I'm just standardizing this approach. The books also say to do other related projects. In my case, getting Dollman the Musical onstage is one idea. You will have other related projects, but the publication of memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs will help all of us.
You can also imagine that a law firm that has meeting rooms, with someone who wants to form a local #valzubiriagenda group, can have meetings. A local café can do the same. Local photographers for your art, writers, editors, book designers, proofreaders and others can join in.
I suggest have printed books to share. 15 copies of your memoir or art books will be better than an e-reader or laptop or your phone to show. These gadgets can be stolen, sabotaged, broken, have coffee spilled on them, etc. 15 printed books means simultaneously showing to 15 people. You can even give them away to potential resellers, investors, traders and collectors.
When it rains, it pours, as in the days of Noah
There's a saying, "When it rains, it pours." There is a negative interpretation and a positive interpretation.
Negative: When trouble comes, they cascade to even more.
Positive: When opportunity comes knocking, more follow suit. We can assume that if one gets our art because of #valzubiriagenda, more want to do it now, because of the rising prices, and FOMO - fear of missing out. What will they lose if they miss the boat?
As I have said earlier, if the #valzubiriagenda trends, if you announce a future memoir or art catalog, you might have an increase of investors, traders and art collectors who would want to check you out. You might encourage more sales. Just remember to write and publish that memoir and art catalog.
There's this saying, "As in the days of Noah." Imagine Noah, building his ark, with members of his own family, putting all his time and effort into it. Noah was a nice guy. I'm sure every once in a while a neighbor offered him coffee, or chai latte, or whatever refreshing drink they might have back then.
Here's the lesson to be learned. Just because they offered him some type of bubble tea drink, or coca cola, they still didn't make it to the ark. Rubbing shoulders with actors does not make you an actor. I have told my artist friends to write their memoirs. They told me that once they see me succeed, after all these many years of seeing my seemingly useless efforts, then they will write their memoirs and follow the road that I had paved for them.
Good luck to them, but if I were you, act now, get my art or make art. Support the 5-year old artist whose parent promised to release a comprehensive art catalog. If you get that 5-year old's art, and mine, I would be honored to be in the same art catalog that you will produce. I'm already successful at that point. You have gotten the mission just right.
I have already claimed to have written the most book-length artist memoirs in the world. Dethrone that claim. Barter. Use ghostwriters. Success to me means facing God one day and saying, I wrote my memoirs and left the world a legacy of books and art. I will not tell God, smiling and proudly, that I encouraged a run for my art by announcing a schedule of exponentially increasing prices that reached 9 figures. I'm sure God knows we had fun.

JOIN THIS GROUP

If you want to try out #valzubiriagenda, in any capacity, join this group. Let others know about this group as well.
If you are an artist, you can let everyone know here that you will produce your memoir, art catalogs, etc. It's okay if you don't know how to go about publishing yet, I will discuss this. Please be honorable enough to produce what you promise to produce.
If you want to meet fellow artists, investors, resellers, etc., join us here.
If you are a book writer, editor, proofreader; if you can photograph art pieces; if you are a book designer, etc., join us here. Let us know if you charge, barter for art, or both.
If you have your own tips and knowledge to share, join us here.
If you have underaged artists you are managing (parents, etc.) join us here.
Join this group if you want to sell works. Post your works. You web links. I'm sure I will.
You can announce meetings in your area. You might have meeting rooms, a café, restaurant, etc. where people can meet. In the future, you can have the regular show and tell, where books can be shown and shared.
​
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, Artist, Memoirist
Underaged artists are welcome here, so please be mindful of your language. We cannot post your adult-oriented art pieces, but you can direct us to a separate page or community. There will be limits to your posts, and there will be adult-oriented art that we cannot allow to be posted.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, artist & memoirist

I've diagnosed with depression with anxiety, mostly have a handle on it, but it came back hard due the death of my father after a year long fight with cancer, which I resigned from my job to care for him. May be way probably typing too much as it's just a stream of conciousness as I type.
It's been a year and change since his death since then and I've been unable to really find a new job as market has been flooded with more people looking in my fields than there are jobs. I rent out spare rooms in my inherited house, my mother live here but in a smaller bedroom (her choice, master bedroom has bad feelings attached now as my dad stayed here during early treatment. He moved to hospice near the end). Most of the rent of which goes to bills. I mostly job hunt and fix things around the house during the day.
Got a friend from college times, friend of a friend situation, about 10+ years now, who's moving to another state. According to him, its better state for him to grow his start up wood working business and he dislike how current governor is passing bills that affects his day job. Tried to convince me to move with him as the state has "many opportunities" for me. I said no as I like my life here.
He starts tearing into me for not being "successful" for lacking ambition and other crap. So I decided to say muted him and sent him basic depression info stuff from Doctor office and. My mom can take care of the household instead of me. How he was so successful he can afford to move states and get his business going.
What I wanted to say but everyone in the friend group has gained basic attutide of just let him talk so not to hurt his feeling as he's straight up disillusional. I do the same but mostly I would alienate everyone from me because I told him the following:
"You failed at life. You left away from home at 18 because you thought you knew better. I had more money in my pocket from my part time job then you did when you left your house but I stayed home. I went to college while you took on loan after loan to go to university, rejecting any parental aid."
"You were not a executive administrator moving from one company to another. You were first a desk jockey to a wiring company then you were one of four secretaries to a health care department head. The department didn't fall apart when you left for your latest get rich scheme (not even get rich quick). I had to rely on your old department when my dad got sick. They were as quick and on top of everything still,"
"All of your personal ventures have failed. Remember that bitcoin mining server you want used to invest in? You fucking sold your bitcoins for a hundred bucks. You couldn't even get enough to pay for your mining server"
"Remember your rental house you split with your friend? You failed at that. You didn't flip the house. You and your friend had arguments on how to rent it out and sold it when you two couldn't settle on a plan. That house you sold fir 10% profit? it was worth 3x the price a year later because you stupid idiots sold it while the area was still being built up"
"You think you're some success? You've been bouncing from one rental to another while surfing people's couches between rentals. You're leaving the state because you can't afford to live here anymore since you blew through your savings trying to start up a wood working business without the skills and proper tools or even marketing ability"
My father was carpenter and taught me a lot about it. It's not my degree or occuption but I know my way around it.
"You think a cheap miter saw is just as good as a pricey one? Dude you can't even cut a 2x4 on it without flipping it and cutting the other side. You need a planer if you want to make stuff like tables. Your eye for straight lumber is a lie. You're so cheap, your wireless drill need to be charged on the hour. That's not normal, that's not good. You want to know where your profits are going? You're fucking tools are shit. You buying new bits and pieces almost monthly.
"Now you think you can lecture me about not taking leaps of faiths or shooting the moon? Dude you've shot for the moon with firework up your ass as you jumped off the cliff, staring at the moon. The moon didn't get closer, that was the reflection in the water when you crashed into it head first,"

I (25F) currently live with my parents while I finish up grad school. I also work as a nanny. Ever since I turned 18, I’ve offered to pay my parents rent, as I feel weird living here for free. Especially as they are not well off financially. They always refused. I’ve still tried to find other ways to make up for that. I’ll buy groceries occasionally, I pull my weight in household tasks, etc.
After the pandemic, my parents really hit a rough patch financially. Both are self employed and while my mom’s business wasn’t effected, my dad’s was. He lost a significant amount of clients and only over the last year has he begun to get himself back to where he was. As my mom’s business isn’t enough to pay all the bills, it was a struggle. I offered numerous times to help with rent. They both refused. I tried to help in other ways (I began buying groceries most weeks, tried to find ways to keep the household bills light, etc).
Finally, a few months ago, I went to my dad. He was always somewhat more receptive to me paying rent. He did that when he turned 18, so it’s what he’s used to. My mom had the opposite experience which is why she said no and he didn’t see the big deal. I said I know things are bad right now and I hate not doing anything when I can. He finally broke down and agreed to accept $500/month, which is pretty fair for a private bedroom/bathroom and shared living spaces in our area.
It wasn’t a magical fix to their money problems but combined with my dad slowly gaining more clients, things were better. I know the money was going to bills because my mom was happily surprised that when she went to pay bills out of their joint account, the money was there.
Things were going well until Thursday. I always pay my dad via Venmo on the first of the month. My mom never used it so I thought we were in the clear. Then for whatever reason, she downloaded it and saw I paid my dad $500. She was confused and then looked to see it had been a monthly occurrence since January.
She is pissed with the two of us. We both lied to her and went around her back. I’ve tried to say that it obviously helped a lot. She said it’s not my job “as the kid”. She says I shouldn’t have offered because i knew my dad wasn’t in a position to say no, along with he wasn’t opposed to me paying rent to begin with.
AITA?

I'll be landing in LA, picking up the vehicle there, then my route looks like this: LA > Joshua Tree > Death Valley > Lake Tahoe > Yosemite > San Francisco > Monterey/Carmel/Big Sur > Santa Barbara > LA. Here's a map to show exactly the route for each leg of the trip: Link My initial plan is to hire a car through Turo, I'm not sure what the roads are like for where I'll be driving and whether something like a Ford Mustang would be suitable for the roads on some parts of the trip, or if it would be better to play it safe and get a reasonably sized SUV. I'm also a huge petrolhead and love my fast cars, and as this is going to be the solo trip of a lifetime, part of me thinks maybe I should hire a sports caconvertible. With a big chunk of the trip being scenic (The Pacific Coast highway and a lot of driving on the Highway 395 through the Eastern Sierras), I want to make the drive as comfortable but as fun as possible. The total miles I estimate to be around 1500-2000. Motorhomes/RV's appear to be out of the question as the cheapest option seems to be about $5k for the month, and could make driving in some of the locations a bit difficult/stressful. (SF as an example) The two main options I've been considering: 2016 Ford Mustang EcoBoost (approx 26mpg) $1000 for 28 days 2019 Jeep Compass (approx 32mpg) $900 for 28 days maybe best of both worlds and rent a SUV in LA that i can use through LA > Joshua Tree > Death Valley > Lake Tahoe > Yosemite and then drop off in San Francisco? Then picking up a sports caconvertible that i can drive through San Francisco > Monterey > Santa Barbara > LA?
I've also listed below the places where I'll be using an airbnb/accommodation and the approximate cost, if anyone has any suggestions for alternatives, or where to avoid or try out I'd appreciate it! LA 1 night approx $200 (airbnb) Joshua Tree 3 nights approx $450 (airbnb) Death Valley 1 night approx $300 (The Inn Hotel) Lake Tahoe 3 nights approx $1000 (airbnb) Yosemite 3 nights approx $450 (Heated Canvas Tent Cabin onsite) San Francisco 1 night approx $200 (hotel with secure car parking/airbnb with parking) Carmel 3 nights approx $1000 (airbnb) Big Sur 1 night approx $300 (The Madonna Inn) Santa Barbara 2 nights approx $500 (airbnb) LA 1 night approx $200 (airbnb) A huge dump of information I know, but I've never been to the USA and want to make sure I get it right. Thanks for taking the time to read my post!

I'll be landing in LA, picking up the vehicle there, then my route looks like this: LA > Joshua Tree > Death Valley > Lake Tahoe > Yosemite > San Francisco > Monterey/Carmel/Big Sur > Santa Barbara > LA. Here's a map to show exactly the route for each leg of the trip: Link My initial plan is to hire a car through Turo, I'm not sure what the roads are like for where I'll be driving and whether something like a Ford Mustang would be suitable for the roads on some parts of the trip, or if it would be better to play it safe and get a reasonably sized SUV. I'm also a huge petrolhead and love my fast cars, and as this is going to be the solo trip of a lifetime, part of me thinks maybe I should hire a sports caconvertible. With a big chunk of the trip being scenic (The Pacific Coast highway and a lot of driving on the Highway 395 through the Eastern Sierras), I want to make the drive as comfortable but as fun as possible. The total miles I estimate to be around 1500-2000. Motorhomes/RV's appear to be out of the question as the cheapest option seems to be about $5k for the month, and could make driving in some of the locations a bit difficult/stressful. (SF as an example) The two main options I've been considering: 2016 Ford Mustang EcoBoost (approx 26mpg) $1000 for 28 days 2019 Jeep Compass (approx 32mpg) $900 for 28 days maybe best of both worlds and rent a SUV in LA that i can use through LA > Joshua Tree > Death Valley > Lake Tahoe > Yosemite and then drop off in San Francisco? Then picking up a sports caconvertible that i can drive through San Francisco > Monterey > Santa Barbara > LA? I've also listed below the places where I'll be using an airbnb/accommodation and the approximate cost, if anyone has any suggestions for alternatives, or where to avoid or try out I'd appreciate it! LA 1 night approx $200 (airbnb) Joshua Tree 3 nights approx $450 (airbnb) Death Valley 1 night approx $300 (The Inn Hotel) Lake Tahoe 3 nights approx $1000 (airbnb) Yosemite 3 nights approx $450 (Heated Canvas Tent Cabin onsite) San Francisco 1 night approx $200 (hotel with secure car parking/airbnb with parking) Carmel 3 nights approx $1000 (airbnb) Big Sur 1 night approx $300 (The Madonna Inn) Santa Barbara 2 nights approx $500 (airbnb) LA 1 night approx $200 (airbnb) A huge dump of information I know, but I've never been to the USA and want to make sure I get it right. Thanks for taking the time to read my post!

Hello everyone,
Basically, I'm starting out. Those who have gone through the exams and all, any advice? Cause I'm sweating just thinking about it. What were the mistakes y'all made? What should be the focus? What can I do to guarantee good results?
My Subjects:
Regular Mathematics
Computer Science (Did not take it in IGCSE)
Economics/ Business (Which do you guys think is better for the future for someone who has no idea what to do)
Chemistry/Physics/Biology (Once again, which is better considering my situation. F.Y.I I don't want to do anything in medicine)
I plan on going to an ivy league school like Harvard so I'm trying to widen my probability of getting in.
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View Poll

HOW WE GOT HERE:
Brad Holmes is a wizard. What he has done as the Detroit GM in just 3 years has been a playoff push away from being quite remarkable, especially considering the context of succeeding prior general manager Bob Quinn which ended in typical Lions losing fashion. Brad Holmes would immediately come out swinging and first transaction as general manager was trading longtime franchise quarterback Matthew Stafford to the Los Angeles Rams in exchange for two first round picks, a third round pick, and quarterback Jared Goff. At the time, it was bittersweet for fans, as Stafford was the practically the lone bright spot in the last decade (outside of Megatron), but the haul they got in return was at least something. Stafford was injured and already likely leaving to chase a Super Bowl and Detroit was going into full rebuild mode so Detroit fans were just happy with what they could get. Brad ended up hiring a one time Head Coach, Dan Campbell. A pick made purely on the potential he would be able to change the culture with his grind it out, Football attitude Campbell was known for. All in all, it was business as usual for Detroit as they begin yet another rebuild....
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Oh parity in sports.... You never cease to amaze us....
Somehow and someway, In Holmes' first draft, Penei Sewell falls to Detroit at #7 and the Lions draft room goes bananas on camera! At the time we did not know it, but Detroit just landed their future Pro Bowl leader in the trenches. In round 4, the Lions scoop a literal Sun God in Amon-Ra St. Brown. Little did we all know the impact both of these players would have today. Both players are arguably top 10 in their position.
Fast forward to 2022 and the Lions are coming off one of the most promising 3-13-1 seasons that you could ever ask for. The team and coaches have bought in to Dan Campbell's grind it out style of Football. The culture seemed to finally be changing and it felt like Jared Goff turning into a solid Stafford replacement, despite being considered a throw on by most in the Stafford trade.
The 2022 draft Brad Holmes' statement to the NFL. It does not matter where you take guys. If you know how to evaluate talent, you go for YOUR guys and you can be successful. Holmes was able to draft Aiden Aiden Hutchinson at #2 (some say he should have been #1), Jameson Williams (best receiver in the draft at 12 via trade), Kerby Joseph (who picked off Aaron Rodgers THREE TIMES IN ONE GAME!), and drafted James Houston and Malcolm Rodriguez in the 6th round. Both players are looking like future defensive stars. Dare I say the best 6th round success since the Pats drafted TB12? Don't @ me lol
The Lions followed up the draft with a MUCH improved 2022, landing a 9-8 winning record and going 8-2 in their final 10 games. Jared Goff is looking like the guy who took the Rams to the Superbowl, every position has young talent and this upcoming 2023 draft is looking like it could seriously push the Lions into serious playoff contention if the cards are played correctly.
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Key Offseason Additions:
CB Cameron Sutton -- Signed to three-year, $33 million contract
CB Emmanuel Moseley -- Signed to one-year, $6 million contract.
RB David Montgomery -- Signed to three-year, $18 million contract
OL Graham Glasgow -- Signed one-year, $4.5 million contract
S Chauncey Gardner-Johnson -- Signed to one-year, $8.5 million contract
WR Marvin Jones -- Signed to one-year, $3 million contract
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Key Offseason Losses:
Safety DeShon Elliott -- Signed to one-year, $1.77 million contract with Dolphins.
Running back Jamaal Williams -- Signed to three-year, $12 million contract with Saints.
WR DJ Chark -- Signed to one-year, $5 million deal with Panthers.
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Round 1: No. 12 (from CLE through HOU and ARI) – Jahmyr Gibbs, RB, Alabama
Flashback! Remember that Stafford trade where they got got the Rams draft pick? You know that pick that was supposed to be in the upper 20s because LA is so good and are coming off winning a Super Bowl? Yea, well they sucked.... Somehow they sucked so bad that that pick turned into the number 6th overall pick.
Odds makers had the Lions grabbing Devon Witherspoon as their secondary was a big need. However when Seattle took him at 5, who knew what would follow? Well, the last thing fans expected.... The Lions ended up passing on Tyree Wilson, Jalen Carter, AND Bijan Robinson by trading down to 12 to take Alabama running back, Jahmyr Gibbs. Hindsight is 2020, but reports now show the Lions wanted Jahmyr over Bijan, which means Holmes and co. got THEIR guy.
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Immediately fans realized the inevitable. Fan favorite and oft injured running back, DeAndre Swift, was going to be cut or traded. Almost immediately they traded D'Andre Swift and a 7th round pick for the Saints' 2025 fourth-round pick and a 2023 7th round pick.
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This pick is exactly why you and I are sitting on the couch and Brad Holmes gets paid the big bucks. "HoW cAn YoU dRaFt a RuNnInG BaCk ThAt hIgH". Well, the dude is a straight up baller. If I asked you who led Alabama in receiving last year you would probably say some 5 star Wide Receiver. It was Gibbs. Gibbs is being compared Alvin Kamara in the way he can run and catch. He was listed as running a 4.36 at the combine. Gibbs transferred to Alabama last season after spending the first two seasons of his career at Georgia Tech. He carried the ball 151 times for the Crimson Tide in 2022, averaging 6.1 yards per carry and scoring seven touchdowns. He also caught 44 passes for 444 yards and three catching scores. With the departure of Swift and the newly acquired bowling ball back in Montgomery, Gibbs is going to be an immediate impact as a "weapon" and less of a conventional running back. The thunder and lightning combo the Lions will have will be fun to watch behind their top 5 O Line.
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Round 1: No. 18 – Jack Campbell, LB, Iowa
"HoW cAn YoU dRaFt a RuNnInG BaCk ThAt hIgH" made sense with the Gibbs pick, but drafting a Linebacker at 18 with other glaring needs like lineman and secondary left Lions fans a bit puzzled by this pick. It hurt a little less when you remember this was their 2nd pick in the first round. Also, many people had Jack Campbell on their board for later in the draft so in terms of liking a guy for who they are, very few people are against this pick. But like I said before, Brad Holmes and Dan Campbell go after guys they have faith in. Until they screw up, fans cant complain too much!
But who is this guy and what makes him so good? Well if you care about RAS or "Relative Athletic Score" Jack is outstanding. He scored a 9.98 RAS out of a possible 10.00. This ranked 6 out of 2600 LB from 1987 to 2023. He possesses rare athleticism for being 6-5 and that allows him to be exceptional in coverage. PFF rated him as the highest coverage grade since 2018 Devin White at LSU. He also has great leadership skills as he was Iowa's team captain and won Big10 Defensive Player of the year.
Jack Campbell is going to join a much improving linebacking core that is led by team captain Alex Anzalone and 2nd year stars Malcolm Rodriguez and James Houston. The Lions will likely play him on the outside because off his athleticism but I am certain he will be moved all around the field.
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Round 2: No. 34 (from ARI) – Sam LaPorta, TE, Iowa
This is getting a bit out of hand for the Lions fans that appreciate positional value when you draft. Clearly Holmes has totally thrown conventional wisdom out of the window. However, tight end IS a need. Of all of the positional units Tight End is probably the weakest. In 2022 the Lions trotted Brock Wright, James Mitchell, and Shane Zylstra....WHOOOO?!?! Exactly...they needed help. Outside of when they took him, most pundits are pretty happy about this pick. Not only did the Lions get their second Iowa captain, but Sam might have landed the best tight end in the entire class.
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With LaPorta, the Lions get a player that can do a variety of things. He can play in the slot, in-line or even out wide. This is EXTRA important when you remember that Jameson Williams is suspended for 6 games due to gambling. During his career at Iowa, he had 513 snaps in-line and 304 snaps out of the slot (per PFF). It really wouldn’t be surprising if LaPorta walks into Detroit and earns the starting tight end spot. He has the talent to do it and by being the 34th overall pick, there is going to be some high expectations for him.
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Round 2: No. 45 (from DET) – Brian Branch, S, Alabama
For the first time all draft it felt like a player fell to Detroit and they werent reaching for their guy (for better or worse). At 45, the Lions were already drafting their 4th player and wasnt even the end of the 2nd round. Scouts said that Branch was one of the safest picks in the draft due to his lack of a jarring weakness. Branch is siad to have extremely high football IQ which led him to play all around the defense for the Crimson Tide. Branch has primarily handled nickel coverage, but has the range and instincts for single-high or split safety looks. He’s quick, fast and strong with the ability to match up with shifty slots, bigger possession receivers and pass-catching tight ends. Branch is also tough and gritty which makes himu a perfec fit for this Lions team. He has a nose for the ball and is capable of making game-changing plays. He had two interceptions and two forced fumbles during his freshman season at Bama.
Branch made headlines on draft day to be the only guy to stay into day 2 in the greenroom as he was projected to go in the first round. I think that shows how much he cares about this opportunity and has his heart in it.
Also, Branch as a great opportunity to learn from newly acquired Safety, Chauncy Gardner-Johnson who is one of the best young safeties in the league.
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Round 3: No. 68 (from DEN) – Hendon Hooker, QB, Tennessee
You ever feeling a little uncomfortable and then you let out a massive fart and all of your uneasiness washes away? Yea, well thats the feeling Lions fans got when they landed Hendon Hooker with the 68th pick. QB wasnt a terrible need, but once we got him, a sense of relief was felt across the fanbase. When the Lions ended up getting Goff in the Stafford trade, it was sort of unsaid that Goff was just the bridge before they draft a QB of the future. However Goff has played way better than expectations and less and less fans are calling for a replacment. So, instead of using one of their first round picks on a QB, they waited and got a guy with first round updside! Now, they are in a much more confortable position at QB with a very solid back up.
The Lions used the 68th pick in order to take the former Tennessee quarterback. The pick came just before the Rams and Raiders were scheduled to pick and been teams have been seen as possible landing spots for a quarterback in this year’s draft. Hooker is recovering from a torn ACL, but his doctor recently informed teams that he is expected to be ready to go by the first week of the regular season. With Jared Goff in place as the starter in Detroit, there won’t be any need for Hooker to rush back for what will likely be a redshirt season if all goes according to plan in Detroit.
This pick was safe, exciting, and sets the Lions up with a solid back up QB. The first time that they can say that since they had Shaun Hill.
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Round 3: No. 96 (from ARI) – Brodric Martin, DT, Western Kentucky
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Before the draft, a need that was discussed as a hole in the Lions defense was interior line. They got their big boy in the middle with nose tackle, Brodric Martin. After starting his career at North Alabama, Martin transferred to Western Kentucky to play his final two seasons at the FBS level. Since 2021, Martin has played in 26 total games, and has managed to contribute 62 total tackles to the Western Kentucky cause. He’s piled up six tackles for-loss as well as four sacks, one fumble recovery and one forced fumble. This move with help the Lions run defense that ranked 4th to last in the NFL last year.
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It is no surprise that winning is won in the trenches. The Lions have done a great job of drafting players to build out this line with the likes of Alim McNeill, Isaiah Buggs, and John Cominsky, but with big interior guys like Martin, they usually operate best in a rotation. This move should be huge in terms of depth and opening up even more opportunities for Aiden Hutchison to get to the QB.
This move didn't feel flashy, but it felt needed.
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Round 5: No. 152 – Colby Sorsdal, OL, William & Mary
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The Lions had to finally wait a bit before this pick due to moving around in the draft and trading away their pick round 4. They elected to add depth to their O-Line by taking Colby Sorsdal out of William and Mary. Sometimes its fun being the big fish in the small pond. Sorsdal started in all 46 games he appeared in during his five-year stint at William & Mary. He spent the duration of his college career at Right Tackle. Sorsdal is the first Tribe player to be drafted since 2016, when the Chicago Bears selected safety DeAndre Houston-Carson in the sixth round.
Serving as an offensive co-captain and starting all 13 games at Right Tackle, Sorsdal anchored an offensive line that helped the Tribe rank third in total rushing offense and fourth in fewest sacks allowed. Behind one of the best offensive line units in the country, the Tribe accumulated an 11-2 record and won the CAA Conference Championship for the first time since 2015.
He will be joining a elite O-line led by Penei Sewell, Frank Ragnow and Taylor Decker. Colby wont start, but he will add in needed depth for a team that's success will only goes as far as their line will take them.
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Round 7: No. 219 (from HOU through MIN via PHI) – Antoine Green, WR, North Carolina
With the Lions last pick in a very intense draft, they selected Wide Receiver, Antoine Green out of UNC. Most projected Antoine to be signed to a team after the draft so it is a but of a peculiar pick. In the late 7th round, you are just hoping to take a flier on a guy and hoping they pan out.
The 6-foot-3, 199-pound receiver impressed Detroit's coaching staff at the East-West Shrine Bowl, and has the opportunity to compete for playing time his rookie season. According to NFL Draft Bible, Green is a "technically sound, fluid athlete that can give you a little bit of everything as a wide receiver. Green runs routes, it is as if he is attacking his defender rather than going about his route without considering what the defense is doing. Green has a good release off the line of scrimmage and does not get held up too much when facing press coverage. He uses his hands well to reduce contact against the press and accelerate off the line. He analyzes coverages well and makes quick decisions on how to break down his defender throughout his route. He can read zone defenses and has a knack for finding spaces to make himself an easier target."
With Jameson Williams missing 6 games to start the year, there is an opportunity for Green to poach snaps away from anyone not named Amon-Ra or Marvin Jones. There is also a chance he doesn't make it out of camp. Unlikely, but we will see.
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Conclusion:
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The 2023 NFL draft for the Detroit Lions was a resounding success. They were able to draft 6 times....BEFORE THE FOURTH ROUND!! The extra picks allowed Detroit to really control the draft and move around in a way to get the guys they wanted. They did not care about who they got and when. They just simply got the guys they wanted. After reflecting on its entirety, they landed a lot of great talent. They were able to add a player at every single positional unit and several will end up starting and making an immediate impact.
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Look, the Lions are going to Lions so hold your breath a little longer, however Brad Holmes and Jack Campbell have really turned this franchise around and are making them a legit playoff contender. Right now the Lions are favored to win the NFC North for the first time since god knows when. I am projecting a record of 12 and 5 and a NFL North Division Win.
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GO LIONS!!!! (FTP)

AITA because I don’t listen to the advice of my spouse causing major fights between us? For example, this morning we went to eat at a bagel place and I got an extra dessert for later. I had my thing in the bag it came in, but also inside the brown bag they gave us. He wanted me to take out my dessert so he could fill it with our breakfast trash and for me to carry the little bag it came in. I said no, that I had it in the slighter larger bag and I wanted it that way. That we didn’t need to use it for trash when we could just throw the trash away. He got upset and demanded the bag, so I grabbed all the trash from the table instead and threw it away. I left with my bag.
Hours later for lunch we drive by a restaurant and it looks crowded, so he asks me to get down to go to see the wait time. I didn’t, I instead offered him to go to the other restaurant he wanted to go in the first place. He drove around one more time, said it didn’t look that busy, and asked me to get down again. I said, we’ll than why don’t we all get down. Well he exploded. Said I’m always wanting to do the opposite of whatever he wants. He than said we are going to that other restaurant (the one he wanted to go in 1st place).
On the way there he continued to yell at me how I’m just causing these fights bc I just do things that don’t make sense. He sees the bag and starts yelling about it. How it shouldn’t even be in the car. It should be in the trash- like he said. Why? Bc it just makes sense. It’s common sense apparently and more efficient to carry only the smaller one and not both. Keep in mind this bag is regular brown bag size and has been at MY feet not bothering him in any way. Except it was. It was bothering him that he had the idea to throw it away and I didn’t let him. He says he’s not macho- he just has better common sense than I do.
I admit I think he’s being a jerk but he’s convinced I’m the asshole. He tried apologizing but it was more like- sorry i have more common sense than you- but if you listened to me more we would fight less. I was so mad I stayed in the car while him and the kids went to eat.
So AITA?

Chapter VI
The first land we sighted after leaving Sydney was the Three Kings, New Zealand. We had run before a fair wind up to this time, and had come into what was regarded as a good whaling ground. Now every eye was scanning the horizon, since a bottle of grog was promised to the man who should first sight a whale. I had been on the port watch since I came on board under Mr Hawkins, the chief mate, and one evening, just as our watch below was ending, I went aloft to see the sun set. Against the broad, red horizon I saw some dark objects spouting and tumbling. In an instant I had shouted “Whales ho!” to claim the bottle of grog. “Where away?” was the skipper's question. “On the lee bow, sir.” For an instant he scanned the spot with his glass, an anxious moment for me lest I should have mistaken a shoal of porpoises for a school of whales, and not only lose my prize but expose myself to the ridicule of my fellow sailors. “Right you are, it's whales, sure enough; you have won your grog, lad.”
We had no time to lose; the night would soon be on us, and our chance would be lost. Down went the boat with Ned Farne, our harpooner, in the bows ready to launch his weapons when opportunity offered. On came the school, tumbling and blowing, throwing jets of water ten or fifteen feet into the air, causing a very grand yet terrible scene. At length they got almost within range; the boys were pulling like mad to keep up with the pace the whales were swimming at. We saw Ned rise up in the bows, poise his arm back for an instant, then launch the harpoon straight for the huge back of the fish that was nearest to him. The aim was true, the missile was buried over the barb in the soft blubber beneath the outer skin, and away went the whale dragging the harpoon rope after it so rapidly that they had to pour water upon the side of the boat to prevent it from igniting, through the violent friction. Again the huge creature rose to breathe, and another harpoon was driven into it, causing it once more to rush away through the water at lightning speed. Darkness fell over the scene before they had killed it, and the boat remained by the carcase all night to prevent it sinking. When morning came it was a busy scene on board, preparing to cut it in and try it out. At length the task was completed, and five large sacks of oil were secured; not a large yield certainly, but the foretaste of better things, we hoped. We cruised over the same ground for several days, but saw no more whales, accordingly we stretched across to Curtis' Island, about 500 miles to the north-east, where in about a month we got five or six more, some of them giving very fair yields of oil. After this we ran down upon Norfolk Island, where we fell in with the Mercury, schooner, Captain Barnet, also on a whaling cruise from Tasmania. From her we shipped two additional hands, and then made for Moreton Bay, on the coast of Queensland. Here not a solitary fish was to be seen, therefore we ran back for our old ground off Curtis' Island. Scarcely had we arrived when we fell in with a heavy gale from the north-east, raging for twenty days, in which we had to heave to, not being able to show a rag of sail. On the 21st day, when the wind began to lull, we found ourselves off the Three Kings, a drift of more than 500 miles. We had shipped such heavy seas, and the force of the storm had been so great, that our tryworks had been carried away, and three of our boats stove in. Therefore we bore up for the Bay of Islands, where we arrived on the 10th of April, 1811, anchoring as before off Te Puna. We were the only vessel in the bay at the time, though others entered during our stay.
The same day that we reached our anchorage a chief named Taua Makia came aboard to take care of us and watch over our interests, lest we should be swindled in trade or otherwise maltreated. This considerate proceeding was not disinterested, but the ‘consideration’ expected was not large. The Skipper ordered a boat to go ashore and bring a load of gravel to serve as shot for our guns since this had been omitted in the ship's supplies, and the natives were not to be trusted, even though we had a protector. The news had spread like wild-fire that a ship was at anchor in the bay, and already scores of canoes were being launched to pay a visit to the pakeha, but we loaded our guns, and pointing them astern, ordered all the visitors to keep back, which, after a little demur and grumbling they did. Nevertheless, all throughout our stay, they never desisted in the attempt to get on board, considering it a gross breach of hospitality on our part to deny them the privilege. As our example was imitated by Captain Walker, of the Endeavour brig, that came in a few days after us, having on board two missionaries for Tahiti - Messrs Davidson and Williams - the natives concluded that in us they had got a very bad and uncivil customer to deal with.
Meantime we had commenced work upon the repairs of the vessel. Nearly all our spars had been carried away, together with our jibboom and some of the bulwarks; we had lost every boat but one, and small leaks were demanding attention, We bad two sawyers on board, and as Captain Walker had three whom he lent us for the time, our skipper thought it best to put the ship thoroughly to rights here, in place of putting back to Sydney. Accordingly, the sawyers went ashore, rigged up the pits, and commenced work vigorously. But the Maoris did not exactly see the force of this. They imagined that we were concocting some diabolic scheme of destruction against them in making such extensive preparations, which they considered as in some way identified with our worship. They pulled down the works and threatened to kill the sawyers if they attempted to resume operations. But a volley from the vessels soon scattered them, and a strong guard being picked from the crews of both ships, they were hereafter permitted to labour uninterruptedly. During this time, I had considerable liberty granted to me to go ashore, or to go fishing with Taua Makia. The first time I availed myself of the former privilege, I received as great a scare as ever I had in my life. Three of us had been wandering about in a bit of bush near the Keri-Keri River, trying to find our way back to the saw-pits, when suddenly we issued upon a cleared space, in which were a few houses and patches of cultivation. Before the entrance to one of the whares stood a band of females crowned with chaplets of green leaves, and wringing their hands. One of these, an elderly woman, who seemed to act as chief mourner upon the occasion, and had a chaplet of dog's hair round her temples, different from the others, advanced in front and began to throw her arms about, raising her head and eyes to heaven. Whilst doing this, in a very plaintive quavering tone, she commenced a wailing song, in which she was joined by her companions. I was afterwards initiated into this, and now give a specimen of a funeral lament: -
Taku hei he piripiri (my fragrant bundle the piripiri) Taku hei moki-moki (my fragrant bundle the mokimoki) Taku hei tawiri (my fragrant bundle the tawiri) Taku kati taramea (my sweet juice of the taraniea) Te hei o te pounamu (the companion of the greenstone) I haramai ai - e (is gone - alas, upon) I runga te angai-ia-ana (the angai-e-).
It was the tangi, or wail for the dead. But at this period I knew nothing of Maori customs or ceremonies, and my very hair began to rise with horror as I thought perhaps they might be celebrating some human sacrifices. Our fear kept us quiet. In the thick bush we lay watching the scene, overshadowed by the gloom of a gigantic kauri-tree, and wishing ourselves anywhere but in our present predicament. When the sorrowful song was ended, and the females had entered the whare, we noiselessly strove to retrace our steps, and chance favouring us, we came out a mile or two from where the sawyers were at work. As I afterwards discovered, no duty is so sacred or so obligatory as the interment of the dead, no trouble being considered too great, no expense too excessive, no lamentation too extreme to testify to the respect in which the deceased was held on earth, and to raise him in the estimation of the mysterious spirits to whom he had gone. Taua Makia sometimes went with us fishing to induce the prey to come upon hooks by the constant chanting of Karakias or incantations, supposed to have a very potent influence over the finny tribe. I cannot say we were ever very successful when he was with us, since the noise he made and the fishing gear he would insist upon employing were neither conducive to lure the fish to our bait, nor to hold them when they were hooked. But this, of course, may have been merely an ignorant pakeha's prejudice, since many a lusty kahawai or schnapper, have I caught with a hook made from a dead man's bone. Don't wince, reader; better, is it not, to be put to some use after death, than to feed a legion of hungry worms.
We began to mix a little with the natives when ashore, and I grew more familiarised with their ways. We attended their baptisms, He Tohi, and gave presents to the infant, that it never enjoyed; we consulted the Niu, or divining sticks, whether we should reach home in safety; we were present at their marriage tauas, when the bride was carried off by main force sometimes minus her clothing, finally we were guests at their hakaris, or feasts, and could vouch for the excellence of Maori culinary skill. But we shall have enough of these in the course of the narrative, the reader shall eat and drink to his heart's content but at present we must keep to the thread of our story.
In a fortnight the sawyers had finished their work ashore, a week more completed the repairs aboard, and whatever little trade we had carried on completed, the skipper thought of standing out to sea again. In some mysterious way or other, I had offended the old bosun of our ship, and he had persecuted me with most relentless malice. Nothing I could do was right, the rope's end was my daily sauce, and complaints about my laziness were continually being carried to the captain. At length one day, irritated by their constant occurrence, he said when another of my misdeeds was laid before him, “String him up then, and give him a dozen.” This was just what the bosun wanted; and in a trice he strung me up to the mast, and a good round dozen I received, being only released when nearly fainting with pain and shame. He had got the best of it just now; my day of retribution came again. Now, this method of instructing me in navigation was by no means to my taste, and as two of our men had absconded the day previous, concealed, as was thought, in the bush, I imagined I could emulate their example, perhaps, to join them. At least, I should first go to the Endeavour, as she lay nearer the shore, if not, the bush it must be. Therefore, waiting my opportunity, about 3 o'clock one morning I slipped overboard and swam noiselessly to the companion ship. As I came alongside puffing and blowing, thoroughly exhausted with the long swim, and almost inclined to give up the business, the carpenter, who was acting as bosuns mate in the Endeavour for the time, saw me, and flung me a rope, by which I climbed on deck. I told him my story, and as he was a decent sort of a fellow, he was slipping me quietly along the deck to the foc'sle, when the second mate saw us and demanded to know what I wanted there. With my usual readiness, I invented a tale of a morning swim and exhaustion, but the story would not hold water, and the captain was informed of my arrival. As soon as morning broke he sent over to the Harwich, telling Captain Simmons that I was on board his vessel, and about nine our skipper came over with two men to take me back. Reluctantly enough I went, as I knew a flogging was in store for me, but to my surprise the captain only took me into his cabin and rated me soundly for my foolhardiness in risking my life thus, telling me I escaped a flogging by his having discovered many of the bosuns stories to be untrue. My condition was now better on board, as I was taken aft, and kept under the captain's own eye. My enemy, the bosun, was speechless with rage, yet he was powerless now to do me harm.
About a week after this the Endeavour sailed, Captain Walker having come on board the Harwich and taken a very friendly farewell of our skipper, and a fortnight afterwards we followed suit, going back to our old cruising ground at the Three Kings. The weather was very uncertain and squally, so that we did not see any whales; therefore we stretched over to Norfolk Island, and speedily were busy at work.
The first day we arrived we secured three whales, which we cut in and tried out, the third day two more, and the fifth day another. Then our luck seemed to change, and not a solitary fish could we see for an entire month. We tried all our former grounds, Curtis' Island, Moreton Bay, Three Kings, to no purpose, only when off the East Cape did we catch sight of a small whale, which we secured but only got one barrel of oil from it. The weather now began to be very stormy; winter was at its depth, and the air was piercingly cold. Therefore Captain Simmons concluded to break the cruise, to run for Sydney, discharge his cargo of oil, and commence anew. Another consideration, also, was that several of the men were very ill with scurvy and dysentry - in fact, the crew was only at half at its usual complement, therefore the cry was “about ship,” and “Sydney ho!”
It was whilst running home before a fine fresh breeze, that one night we were knocked up by Mr Hawkins singing out, “Ship on fire on the weather bow.” The shock was electrical. Everyone bundled out of their hammocks and rushed on deck. There on the horizon was a grand and terrible spectacle. A large ship was burning from stem to stern, lighting up the gloom of the winter's night for miles around, throwing a deep lucid glare over the inky ocean. The flames were bursting up the hatches, were licking the masts and spars, were peeping out in little forked tongues through the portholes. The captain ordered lights to be burned at the masthead, blank charges to be fired from the guns every minute, and the jolly-boat to be manned and to go in search of survivors. In an hour our efforts were rewarded by three boat-loads of fear-stricken men boarding us and asking reception. They informed us that the burning ship was the “Lady Lucy” from Sydney to London, that she had caught fire when a week out, from a burning candle falling into an oil cask, and that over 50 lives had already been lost through the capsizing of two of their boats. Captain Simmons made them welcome, and a few days after we reached Sydney, where they were taken in hand by the Government and forwarded home by the next vessel. Thus ended my voyage in the Harwich, perhaps the most pleasant of all my trips.

long time lurker, first time poster. Just sharing this story as many of you are likely to find it painfully amusing and I feel like venting.
TLDR: chef crazy, kitchen culture bad, me stupid for ignoring all the red flags and assuming it would get better.
I have been a full time musician for about a decade, decided to get back into the kitchen to make a little extra money so my fiance and I can save for a home. I have done some pop up kitchens & other events around town, knew about this guy with a sweet japanese izakaya truck who made great food and needed help. Immediately seemed like a chaotic person, but people can be weird sometimes so I carried on.
First day went well, the man is hectic and egotistical but seemed alright. I was shown one dish from his revolving 15-20 item menu that day and a couple opening / closing procedures. Second day I show up 15 early, end up waiting for a few hours before i split, calling him goes straight to voicemail. turns out he's in jail for an old bench warrant, no bond, probably for child support. No sweat, shit happens and anyone deserves a chance or two.
I ended up running his food truck entirely with one other guy (nice dude, but has a traumatic brain injury which makes work very difficult) for about a week and half. 8-16 hour days on top of my full music schedule, i was able to swing both as most gigs are late and i can prep 9am-7pm and still make make the shows. I communicated with chef through his mom, using some weird jail texting platform. Ran a reduced menu. Figured I'd give him the chance until he unloaded on us via his mom about how terribly we ran the truck, everything we should have been doing better. Me, who barely learned a single dish from him, had to reverse engineer and improvise recipes he didn't have on hand, having to figure out the entirety of his truck on the fly without running water, and working with a kind but disabled man who is really just making things more difficult. I did all inventory, ordering, scheduling, designed and printed the new menu on my own time, was available for communication 100% of the time off the clock with his mom and the other employee. Basically did every managerial duty though I was hired on as a line cook.
After he unloaded on us I told his mom I was done, that's unnacceptable and he's in no position to give us shit for anything we did considering I stayed and kept his truck running simply out of kindness. As soon as I stood my ground he flipped and apologized, said I did a great job, blah blah blah. So he's not only an asshole, but a spineless asshole. Should have walked, but I don't know the guy at all and decided to give him yet another chance.
things go alright for a week, though it's clear he's unstable and super paranoid. Has really weird conspiracies about other businesses in town having a coalition to destroy him. He talks shit about everyone while incessantly peforming monologues about his own greatness, and all the hotshots he's worked with. treats his mother (who only got so involved to help him while he was incarcerated) like total shit. I hoped it would level out and get better. It didn't.
One day in the middle of service he launches into a bit about how I lied to him about my abilities, that I'm too slow and we need to renegotiate my pay, for the future as well as for the 93 hours I worked in the last couple weeks. This being hilarious as I do more volume with my own pop up kitchens than I've ever experienced on his truck, making just as complicated menus without any issue. Settles on 16 / hr ($2 less than he sent me in my offer letter) without tips and without paying me time and a half for overtime. I walked, as he's rambling egotistical narccicistic nonsense at me the whole time about how I'm too slow and he's the best and this is how it works in the big leagues.
The most absurd comments of his weren't on texts but here's some nuggets of insanity I kept. Screenshots in comments. I believe this is the last time I get back into a kitchen on anyone else's terms. This bastard is everything that is wrong with the industry. anyway, if you made it this far thanks for reading the long winded vent. Beware of egomaniacal idiots

I’m seeing some talk that Tom isn’t the winner because he’s just Matsson’s puppet. But Tom is definitely the winner. All he ever cared about was the money, buying luxuries, and the appearance of power and he got all those things. He doesn’t care about the reality of power.
Tom will remain perfectly loyal to Matsson—until the moment Tom sees it as advantageous to throw his loyalty to someone else. Probably Matsson knows this, and sees Tom as a useful tool.
The same person who said Tom isn’t the winner also compared Tom dismissively to Gerri. That’s nuts. Gerri is one of the winners of “Succession.” She was Logan’s loyal consigliere and assassin for 30 years, and she cashed out big and walked away.
Justine Lupe, who played Willa, also played Astrid Weissman, Midge’s sister-in-law on “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” Her role on “Maisel” is extremely different from Willa. On “Maisel,” she’s a the perfect midcentury upper-middle-class American housewife and mother, a shikse who converted to Judaism to marry a Jewish man and is now more Jewish than her Jewish family.
I love the video playing in Conner‘s apartment, and the kids’ faces as they watched it. We saw another side of Logan there, away from the kids and relaxed, affectionate and warm. Frank, Gerri, Karl and Jess were Logan’s real family, the people he loved and who loved him. Kendall, Roman and Shiv were not part of that family, and they knew it. Connor, on the other hand, was part of that family.
The entire four-year “Succession” story could have been told from Frank and Karl’s perspective, and it would be a very different story.
Why did Shiv vote the way she did? I don’t think we ever get a definitive answer in the show, but I think it was because in the end she just couldn’t stand to see Kendall win. According to discussion on Reddit, there’s a scene just before the vote when Kendall puts his feet up on Logan’s desk, and you see a look of disgust cross Shiv’s face. Neither Julie nor I saw that.
As the CEO’s wife, Shiv is in a better position as Kendall’s sister. But I don’t think she was calculating it through that far until after Tom was named CEO.
Of course, Tom isn’t the real successor. Matsson is the successor.
Roman is finally out, and he is relieved. He never wanted the responsibility. He just wanted to pretend to be a playboy and now he’s back to that.
A theme that emerged throughout “Succession” is that the people who appear to be in power—Tom, the President of the United States—are not the people in power. The real people in power are the people who pay those other people: the Logans and Matssons. In “Succession” we spend a lot of two seasons focused on a Presidential election in which one of the candidates is a neo-Nazi, and it turns out to be a minor plot point, not worth resolving in the finale. Because that election just didn’t matter in the universe of “Succession.”
Shiv is the sort of woman misogynist who sees herself as the exception. She is not the exception. She has become her mother, and married a man who literally sits in her father’s chair.
I love the rare sweet moment at the end of the show where Logan’s wives and mistresses all came together as this little supportive sorority. Marcia even takes Jess’s hand. They were all the women that Logan betrayed, and in the end they stood by each other. Although maybe not—in the universe of “Succession,” you never can assume love and decency is real.
Does Willa care about Connor after all? Or is she just in it for the money? Yes.
In the scene at the bar at the end, Roman orders Gerri’s favorite drink.
I don’t know if we actually enjoyed the final season of “Succession.” Watching it had become compulsive.
I kept expecting Roman’s dick pics to go viral on social media. They were Checkov’s dick pics, and they never were fired.
“Succession” creator Jesse Armstrong shares his view on where the characters go after the season finale: Tom isn’t just going to be an empty suit. He’s got a lot of hard work ahead of him. But he will never be anything other than Matsson’s dog, until he decides to betray Matsson in favor of another master.
Armstrong says Roman is back where he started; the whole multi-year arc was just a detour for Roman.
Armstrong: “Shiv is still in play … in a rather terrifying, frozen emotionally barren place.”
Also Armstrong: “For Kendall, this will never stop being the central event of his life, the central days of his life, central couple of years of his life… Maybe he could go on and start a company, or do a thing. But the chances of him achieving the sort of corporate status that his dad achieved are very low. And I think that will mark his whole life.”
Why does “Succession” get so much more journalism and social media love than “Yellowstone,” which has similar premises and themes and is far more popular among the viewing public? I think it’s because “Succession” centers on the media business and New York, and therefore has more appeal to journalists and the professional-managerial classes that dominate journalism and social media.
I’ve read that “Succession” is a blue show and “Yellowstone” is a red show, and there’s a lot of truth to that. But “Yellowstone” is more nuanced and ethically diverse and more broadly focused across class lines. Go figure.
In our house, we watch both “Succession” and “Yellowstone.”

I've been trying to figure out where on reddit I should put this but here goes nothing; this is a throwaway account and it's going to be a very long one. For a bit of context I'm in a polyamorous "relationship" where there is also an extremely large age gap among the three of us. I (21F) met my partners, lets call them Collen (46F) and Doug (56M) the beginning of January 2021. My friends kept pushing for me to go out and meet someone and have some fun so I signed up for a dating app not expecting much to come of it because of my "unique" type romantically. I'm completely into the age gap relationship thing so I raised the age on my search to 30-50. and with my luck two swipes in and there she was; beautiful blonde with greenish-blue eyes a great smile. I swiped so fast I couldn't stop myself, and it came back saying that she had also swiped right on me too. I didn't exactly take the time to thoroughly read through the profile because after the mutual swiping I decide to read the profile a little bit more, and it turned out to be a couple. Maybe I should've backed out then but in my mind it was like yolo why not. They are both attractive and who knows maybe it'll be a fun fling to have from time to time until I feel ready to find someone to settle with. I'd never heard of polyamory or any of the things that come with it so I was basically going in blind. So we connected and initially It was just chatting with her through the app getting to know what they were looking for and things like that. She then suggested that I add him on snapchat so I could talk to him as well and do a video chat verification of myself. So I did and to my surprise I'd hit it off with him too. It was like I could talk to him about any and everything. Deep conversations came easily with him. They both reassured me they wouldn't force me to go too fast or do anything I don't want to do. Made me feel very comfortable from the get go. Eventually the whole conversation moved to snapchat they created a group chat and I could text them separately whenever. I mostly spoke with him separately and she would really only respond in the group. I met up with him about a month later. She couldn't come along as she had to stay home with their daughter but gave us her blessing to have fun and tell her about it tomorrow. It was a great time we talked sat by the water till almost 5am. Another month in they invited me over to their place so we could all be together and I of course accepted. When I got there I was shocked to have been greeted at the door by the two of them and their daughter. For another reference I love kids and have been helping my siblings and other family members raise theirs since I was 6 and I'd told them about that as well, But still it threw me for a loop because it'd only been 3 months they still don't know too too much about me and we all knew I wasn't exactly coming over to just "have dinner and watch movies" and it seemed strange to me. We had dinner and it was nice we laughed a lot and all got along pretty good. When it got later in the night Colleen put their daughter to bed and Doug and I went to their bedroom. She joined us and we got busy and in the midst of it I began to bleed as apart of this health condition I have which they were aware of, and they immediately stopped to care for me clean me up an make sure I was ok and insisted that I sleep over for the night. They grabbed a blow up bed and set it up in their room for me. That simple gesture did something in my heart. I come from a pretty fucked up broken abusive home some of which they'd also known about so no one had ever really taken care of me like that before until them. Immediately my heart was absolutely sure this wouldn't be a one time fling like i'd thought. Fast forward some time everything was going pretty well. We all talked, sent pictures etc in the group and then I'd come over their place again and we'd have a good time I'd either sleep over and go home, and the cycle just continued on like that. Now up until May there had never been a title placed on what we had going on, so I wasn't too hopeful it'd stay on the same track it was on. Then at about the end of May he asks me to be their girlfriend. Says it's something they both want and again blindly going through with it I said yes, but looking back I should've asked her myself if that was really what she also wanted and maybe I could've saved myself the heart ache. So now we are officially in a relationship and everything is going fairly well.. Fast forward to 2022 about end of July maybe early into August. She started to become... distant small stuff at first like not wanting to have sex because she wasn't feeling well which I completely understood never would I make her feel bad for that. Then it became not wanting to be in the same room as me. Like Doug their daughter and I would be in the living room watching a movie or something just hanging out and she'd leave and go into their bedroom and wouldn't come back out until dinner or it was time for their daughter to go bed so she could tuck her in. It started to make me feel... weird and I couldn't bring myself to ask her what was going on, but Doug would continue to reassure me that she was attracted to me she loved being with me. I wanted to believe him but I couldn't in my heart and due to past trauma I didn't want to face if she'd say no. Now don't get me wrong she and I spent time together just the two of us. Sunday's she and I would go out shopping but you could cut the tension with a knife during those rides sometimes. I wanted to say something but Doug had prior told me about a girl from their past who hurt her and left her emotionally stunted with women so I alway tried my hardest to make sure I didn't do that to her and didn't do anything to cause her any discomfort sort of letting her come into it on her own. Plus she showed her love in other ways with catering to me buying me things particular to what I love. She'd said I love you verbally to me on 2 separate occasions which she apparently doesn't do. So I just could never find the right time to do so. Then Doug started searching on the app again for other women to add to it. He liked to watch and they'd had foursomes with other women where he would watch them with Colleen and take videos that have been shown to me before. I didn't know how I felt about this so I just went along with to see where it would go. Luckily it has never gone beyond a texting conversation among them although we have come close a few times. Anyways end of October early November of 22. Everything was so completely off between she and I felt it every time I would go over to their house. I didn't know what to do or how to address it. It was starting to really take a toll on me mentally. And they were also planning to move to another state where her family is and that caused me to worry more then before because I would not be going with them, who is to say that they won't meet another woman or women on the app and brush me off to the side numerous thoughts went through my mind over this. Plus it would be close to her father and best friend so she is definitely going to want to spend a great amount of time with them and there would be no real way to explain who I am to them considering I'm hispanic and they are White so it wouldn't be easy to play it off and none of them know that she is into women and that they are apart of the lifestyle not even her best friend. (This information is important to my point) Then one night Doug was driving me back to my house and he told me she had cried in their bedroom that morning while I was still asleep because she is uncomfortable in her body and uncomfortable around me. Flat out my heart sank and in my mind all I could think was how could you love and be with someone but not be comfortable around them or even talk to them about it, and you're moving to a new state you pretty much are going to want nothing to do with me. This triggered my abandonment issues like nothing else ever could and they knew of this issue and my need for reassurance I thought they would understand my need to know especially Doug since he questioned constantly if I was happy with our relationship and the age gap and if i wanted to leave I reassured him constantly that I couldn't go anywhere. I cried that night and decided to open the app myself just to find someone to talk to or even distract me for a moment nothing extreme. It escalated and i did cheat emotionally and I kissed the girl but that was it at that time. I felt bad and I am terrible at lying so eventually the truth exposed itself. the day of it was like she could feel something was going to change she came out of their room to where I was on the couch and just made out with me out of the blue. I didn't know what to do. Let's just say the truth revealed itself on that drive home that night and we broke up... for 18 days. I tried to move on with my life because every one was telling me to since the age gap and a bunch of other factors as well so I did and ended up being set up to be raped twice. needless to say my faith in humanity is gone on that end. so I tried one last time to talk to him and work things out. I did and by Christmas we were back together and working on getting better. Now here we are June 2023 they've found a house they will be moving into in just a few weeks. I've been helping them clean and pack up their old home a few times during this process. Doug swears nothing will change but everything will especially considering technically I'm only now in a romantic relationship with Doug and Colleen and I.. I don't even know if you could call it a friendship. Things are hitting that weird point again and he has met another girl on the app he wants him and I to meet and play with its only been 2 days and she's basically giving herself up to him as a submissive which he loves and gave the both of them access to her remote vibrator to pleasure her with which of course he had to tell me about. Now with all o that back ground out of the way here comes the real reason for my post. Despite all of the things I said above there are many red flags about them that I continually overlooked because of the lovers gaze i had on them. Including and I'm not proud of it pedo.... and incest (they both swear they'd never really cross that line with their daughter but I am not 100% sure I believe especially after he told me why he lost his old job) Especially with Doug he even talks about how things would've been if they would've raised me when he would've started wanting to play with me. I'm not proud that I stayed and overlooked those things part of me knows I stay to protect their daughter from them, and the other knows I stay because I trauma bonded myself onto them and can't get away. I'm not even attracted to anyone outside of them yes it is that bad. Lately things have been so confusing and tossed up i am ready to call it quits. (I am a hyper aware person to a default so I know when someone is trying to manipulate and play mind games with me which is what she is doing and I let them think they are succeeding and him he is just attracted to how young and hyper sexual I can be when we are together.) but not before I set a few little fires. I've curated a plan to send a letter to her father, and best friend. As well as his siblings (his parents are diseased) detailing what they've done and thus ultimately outting her as bisexual to them which I know is wrong but after the emotional and psychological abuse they instilled upon me it seems appropriate. Before she married him She was having a fling with her bosses sister at her bosses house. I know the bosses name and have her information so I could send her an email with the detailed story. Of course that is not grounds to fire her but it will cause enough tension and discomfort in my eyes. She is also adopted and recently found her bio moms family; I have their information as well and plan to give them a thorough warning about their estranged family member and what comes with her since they do explicit talk about the family members they would fuck including children of their cousins etc.. It is a toss up considering her father and best friend may be completely supportive of her and not cause any harm there. This won't repair the abuse they've done to me or help me heal but I took the higher road and over looked so many things for 3 years. Someone has to stop them in their tracks so they never do what they did to me to another woman again. WIBTAH?

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I was raised in a relatively small city, population between 10-20k. Over the past decade ago it's actually become a bit of a tourist attraction because it's one of the few cities with any sense of walkability where I live, and for a few other reasons.
It's honestly a shell of its former self though. The high school, which was once a few blocks from the downtown, is way further out now. They needed a bigger school and chose to build it far away with two huge parking lots... so the former high school is now one of the two middle schools. They shut down every form of public transportation in the city. Many many years ago, from what I understand, there was a streetcar system. But even when that closed, there was a bus system. But guess what also closed down a few years ago... there aren't any busses even anymore, and people did use them.
What hurt the most though is how many small businesses are no longer there. The local bakery that sold ice cream in the summer is gone, and nothing ever took its place. There's another ice cream place but the original building has been empty for 4-5 years by my count. There are no local groceries anymore either... over a decade ago, there used to be a local grocery store. My great grandparents shopped there all the time. It wasn't right in downtown but it was reasonably close that someone could walk or even better take a bus. It closed, got run out of business by a chain store even further away. The local deli was sold awhile ago too, it was the last place in honestly a 10 mile radius I could find good quality cuts of meat (chicken especially) at a reasonable price. Supposedly the new owner has plans to reopen but with the trend other stores here have set, I'm not optimistic.
It's sad to see... the reason this place is even remotely popular is completely diluted at this point.