I know it's silly questions, but I've never seen tv shows Law & Order shows like Order & Law, Order & Law: SVU, and Order & Law: Criminal Intent. Why do so many shows?
Which I watch first show of Order & Law shows?

Divine Dichotomy: The Celes'Deus and Mala'Deus Pantheons
In a cosmic act of balance, the divine beings Ekrain and Neronek each divided their power into nine distinct deities. From Ekrain, the Celes'Deus Pantheon of Order emerged, representing the supreme laws governing the universe. In contrast, Neronek created the Mala'Deus Pantheon of Chaos, representing the unpredictable nature of cosmic events.
The most powerful deities from each pantheon were named in honor of their respective creators and tasked with naming the remaining eight. Krain, the Lord of Order and Ekrain's emissary, and Nero, the Lord of Darkness and harbinger of destruction, assumed the visage of their creators and began the process of naming their pantheons. Each deity was given a realm that embodied their title and essence. Their names are as follows:
Celes'Deus Pantheon:
Solayah - Celes'Daya of Soul and Purity Rainious - Celes'Deus of Truth and Justice Spearius - Celes'Deus of War and Strategy Tateo - Celes'Deus of Wisdom and Enlightenment Lunair - Celes'Daya of Love and Modesty Angekia - Celes'Daya of Light and Forgiveness Corinitus - Celes'Deus of Honor and Nobility He-Raru - Celes'Deus of Patience and Virtue
Mala'Deus Pantheon:
Gaston - Mala'Deus of Competition and the Macabre Constis - Mala'Daya of Suffering and Narcissism Nepheen - Mala'Daya of Death and Decay Loskarr - Mala'Deus of Cannibalistic Insanity Soarpia - Mala'Daya of Deception, Torture, and Slavery Umbraal Infernal - Mala'Deus of the Void Ignuis Infernal - Mala'Deus of Catastrophes Khorne - Mala'Deus of Arrogance and Loathing
These dual pantheons, the Celes'Deus and Mala'Deus, with their contrasting principles, govern the cosmic balance, reflecting the complexity of existence and the eternal struggle between order and chaos.
In the world of Tra'Vol, the Mala'Deus, or Demon Gods, reign as the lords of chaos, entwining themselves with the mortal lives of the inhabitants. The Mala'Deus Pantheon comprises:
Nero - The Supreme Leader of the Mala'Deus Pantheon, Nero embodies the essence of Bribery, Damnation, Ruination, and the Apocalypse. He weaves dark schemes to ensure the continuity of chaos and despair throughout Tra'Vol.
Gaston - The Mala'Deus of Competition and the Macabre, Gaston revels in the twisted dance between rivalry and morbidity. He incites fierce battles and contests, often escalating to grotesque and deadly consequences.

When I first began questioning my religion 20ish years ago, I was very interested in finding out the historical truth of what Jesus really said. Catholic, Evangelical, JW, Anglican, etc people all believed vastly different things. Their had to be some way to know the truth without relying on what your parents taught. Many redditors seem to have/had the same questions. Hopefully providing this info will help someone else.
History of course is not a hard science. Ideally, a large number of disinterested sources which corroborate without collaberating leads to near certainty. Otherwise, we use the best evidence we have. The following is meant to be objective, the consensus of the experts in the field. If something is disputed by a sizable minority of experts, I've added a qualifier ("probably"). Please offer corrections, or subjective discussions, in the comments.
I. Historical Background. We're talking about the area around the Mediterranean Sea in the first few centuries CE. Moral people followed the rules of society and liberty was not yet a concept. Women were the inferior property of men, slaves were naturally to obey their masters, the poor and rich both had roles assigned at birth. Those who rebelled against social norms were often murdered. Vast majority were polytheist, small minority were Jews who only worshipped one god. Vast majority (>90-95%) were illiterate. Those who wanted a copy of a writing copied it by hand themselves (or via a trained slave) on their own time. Writing was done on papyrus scrolls without spaces,capitals, or punctuation. Those copying texts often changed the original either by accident or to suit their own purpose.
In 63 BCE the Romans took over the Jewish city of Judea. Many sects of Jews which each had their own ideas how to best follow the OT Law. Pharisees focused on literal, Sadducees were wealthy/powerful priests focused on temple, Essanes believed in keeping to themselves. Many also apocalyptic, including John the Baptist, believed God had let Devil rule world which is why sickness/death/wafamine were everywhere. But any day now God would annoint one or more human messiah's(Greek translation-Christ) to become a powerful priest/king and rule God's kingdom on Earth where everyone would come back to life and there'd be no more hardship.
II. Life of Jesus (The first 50 years of Christianity.) 30 CE Jesus is crucified- based only on the Bible itself. There are no physical evidence or first hand accounts of Jesus. There are misattributions or frauds but no first hand stories of his disciples either. There are though only a handful of accounts of anyone who lived/died at the time/place.
Likely Jesus=Yeshua was born as a poor Jew in the small town of Nazareth (northern Palestine.) A working class "tekton"(construction worker) he followed John the Baptist then later became a teacher to Jews in rural Galilee. Possibly taught that the apocalypse was immenent and that all should follow the heart of the Torah, to love God/neighbors. Associated with poosick. Traveled to Jerusalem for passover, created a disturbance in the Temple. One of his followers handed him over to Saducees who handed him to Roman governor Pilate for conspiracy against Rome (calling himself the Jewish King.) Pilate ordered him crucified like any other political troublemaker.
Disciples were perhaps briefly distraught by reality that their king was killed as a criminal. But soon began spreading stories orally in Aramaic that Jesus was annointed after death and resurrected after crucifixion.
50 CE- Paul dictates his genuine letters to scribes in Greek: Gal, Romans, 1 Cor, 2 Cor, Philemon, Philippians, and 1 Thess. Tells how he was a Jewish Pharisee who persecuted Christians (maybe because the idea that the mighty Jewish king was actually a poor crucified criminal was blasphemous.) Had a revelation, met PeteCephas and Jesus' brother James. Is now certain the rapture is coming during his lifetime. Disagrees with disciples who think salvation just for Jews- Gentiles, women, poor, slaves, all who behave themselves to be saved.
66-70 CE- Judean Jews rebel against Rome, lose, Temple is destroyed.
III. First Gospels written (70-90 CE)
Most likely Mark written first, original ends at 16:8.
Then a lost sayings Gospel known as "Quelle/Q". Matthew, Luke and Thomas written later based on Q.
All of the above written in Greek. First surviving copies from 250CE or later, Papyrus 45 esp. P52 and 90 have few sentences of Jesus' trial with Pilate now found in John 18 dated to 150 CE. P104 has a parable from Q dated to 150CE.
IV. Historical Sources that Christians exist in 1st Century
93CE Josephus wites history of Jews starting with Adam/Eve. Writes that in 66CE James, the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ, was stoned.Antiquity of the Jews book 20 ch 9 Earlier book 18 passage either partly or completely forged.
100 CE- Papius of Hierapolis mentions Mark, sayings gospel, and Luke/Acts. Survives only as quoted by later Church fathers.
c. 100 CE Two early Church teachings the Didache and 1 Clement
112 CE Pliny the Younger discusses Christians with emporer Trajan in Letter 10
115 CE Historian Tacitus writes in the Annals about Christians, who worship a Christ, put to death under Pontius Pilate during Tiberius' reign.
V. Christianity Split Into Large Branches (2nd & 3rd Century)
Many sects splintered off which each had their believers, rituals, and wrote their own texts. To oversimplify- A) Ebionites believed Jesus was a man adopted as God's son at either his baptism or death. Only observant Jews can be Christian. Followed Matthew's Gospel which portrays Jesus exactly like OT prophets. (Virgin birth possibly created as Greek speaking author misunderstood Isaiah's prophecy.)
B) Marcionites/Docetics believed Jesus was really the true God, and OT God was false. Used Luke which portrays Jesus as completely divine. Also Gospel of Peter.
C) Gnostics believed salvation found in hidden knowledge of Jesus' teachings. Most likely believed world created by a lesser demon of OT and true God is hidden. Many are seperationists-believe Jesus was a fusion of man and God- and follow Mark (Spirit enters Jesus at baptism and leaves him on cross.) Likely also used Thomas. Later wrote Phillip, Mary, James, Gospel of Truth, Apocryphon of John, etc)
d) Pre-Catholic Orthodox. This is the group that won so we have the most evidence of. Believed in martyrdom since death of Jesus important. Starting with Iraneus in 180 CE write mountains against heretics. Ironically, some beliefs of each early Church father (Iraneus,Tertullian, Hippolytus, Origen) later decided to be heretical. The slurs used against "heretics" were most likely false, as they contradict the discovered Gnostic texts.
In Against Heresies iii Iraneus writes that John's Gospel was specifically written (after 100CE) to counter the claim that Jesus was a different God from that who created the world. Notice how John's is the only Gospel to firmly claim Jesus to be God (and the only God at that.)
IV. Catholicism Established 4th c Emporer Constantine legalized Christianity in 320CE. As the orthodox group held the most power they were able to establish their beliefs via the Nicene Creed in 325CE, other branches became heretical and illegal. 350 CE- Codex Sinaiticus our oldest nearly complete NT dated, close to modern version. 381- Council of Constantinople irons out concept of trinity.
Further reading This is mostly based off my notes of the NT scholar Bart Ehrman's books, especially misquoting Jesus, although I did try to be objective.
Read the current Bible here NRSV most accurate English.
The Gnostic writings can be found here
The 70ish papyri fragments we have can be viewed here for those who can read konic Greek.
TLDR
Nothing was written during Jesus' life or by his followers. Jesus wasn't considered a god at all until 100 CE. Much less the only god. The concept of the Trinity and that our bible is only accurate version is from the 4th century-over 300 years later.

•1•
Aniyah paused by a tree that was bigger than all the rest. It was obviously very old. The leaves of its branches were a pretty teal color and were shaped like the diamonds in a deck of playing cars. She couldn't say exactly why, but this tree gave her a slight sense of comfort. In these woods--especially with the black curtain hanging over the sky--comfort was a rare commodity. She found comfort in this tree, oddly enough, and also in her new weapon. Windchine; Blade of the Paragon. She supposed she was the Paragon of the Weaver now. Whatever that meant. She knew the words, because they kept echoing throughout her thoughts, but she had only a faint idea of their meaning. She wasn't totally clueless. She'd picked up on the fact that the Weaver was a God, or something close to it. She'd intuited that Paragon was some kind of title, bestowed by the Weaver. It meant she was sort of like a knight. Beyond these things however, she didn't have much to go on. She'd always just known things she had no way of knowing. Sometimes, she knew things she had no business knowing, as Momma would have said. She wasn't psychic. Far from it. She just got gut feelings about things, that usually turned out to be right. Like the ones underneath. She'd picked up on all of that, without any real reason to pick up on it.
She was picking up on something now. Something involving the others back at the clearing.
But she was still piecing all of that together. She didn't have enough to go on yet, to have any complete, fully formed thought.
That wouldn't come until a bit later...
What came in that moment, was the subtle soothing nature of the very old tree before her. Comfort really was a rare commodity here, but aside from the tree and the scimitar, there was one more source of comfort for her, currently. The weird little jellyfish thing. It was bobbing along in the air a few feet from the tree. It hadn't left her side since bringing her the weapon. Like the tree--like Windchime--it granted her a small degree of comfort. She didn't know where the jellyfish had got the weapon, but she had an idea that even the jellyfish didn't know where it had come from. Maybe the old man had something to do with it. The one who kept the Keys. The Custodian.
She bitterly wished she'd thought to grab Mr. Brownie when she took off running from the skinless man.
The skinless man...
Now there was something she hadn't got any gut feelings about. Except for fear, that was. She knew to be fearful of the man, but that was all. She'd dealt with monsters her whole life. They'd shown up out the blue, or she'd shown up to them. Like in that Long Room. Something about the skinless man was different though. Something about him wasn't like the other monsters. He wasn't one of her monsters, she knew that much at least. She could also tell he didn't have anything to do with the ones underneath, or the grasshopper people. He wasn't connected to The Jailer.
The only intuitive feeling Aniyah had concerning the skinless man, was that he was connected to something a whole lot worse. What that something might have a been however, she had no clue.
Aniyah didn't have a sheath, or swordbelt. The scimitar hadn't come with a scabbard. As a result, she was forced to hold the weapon in her hand, since she had nowhere to stow it. The blade was as long as her arm, and curved--almost like a banana--but was only sharp on one side. This allowed her to rest the blunt edge in the crook of her shoulder, carrying it the way she'd seen lumberjacks sometimes carry their axes in old movies; with her elbow bent, and the blade sticking out behind her as if it were a compass needle that only pointed in the opposite direction from where she was facing.
With Windchine in this position, she leaned sideways against the old tree--feeling its rough bark against her skin. A soft breeze gently blew against her face, bringing with it the scents of nature. The blackness of the sky didn't seem to match the pleasantness of the wind or the earthy smells of the woods around her. Nor did the stillness. There were a few insects buzzing someplace nearby, but mostly it was quiet. It was almost tranquil, in fact. She knew that somewhere in these same woods, chaos was happening. Hell on Earth (or, Hell on In-Between, she supposed). But all of that seemed so distant. So removed from her in that moment, in this private patch of wilderness.
Part of her wanted to go charging off toward the battle, so she could save Eddie the Gnome, and Prioress Qaya, and the others. Yet, at the same time, another part of her wanted to just lie down right here and take a nice long nap. Another part still--a deeper part--briefly broached the topic of Amy. She shattered this thought into a million little pieces and scattered them in the wind. She wouldn't... no... she couldn't deal with that right now. Not yet. Soon, she would have to. But not just yet.
These contradicting parts were really all the same part. The part that didn't want to admit she was hopelessly lost. She had no dang idea where to go.
Aniyah looked up at the weird little jellyfish thing. She whispered, "Wonder how far it is, to get back to Eddie Money and the others?"
The jellyfish couldn't understand her. Duh. It was a floating jellyfish. How could it?
Except... for a moment, Aniyah thought maybe the thing did understand. And after another few seconds, she knew for sure it did.
The jellyfish flashed a soft green color. Once, then twice. To Aniyah, it was almost like it was saying: "Beep-beep!"
"What does that mean, Jellybean?" she asked, laughing at how goofy she probably sounded.
The jellyfish strobed green again. Just once this time. Then, it slowly began to float away.
"Hold up a minute. Where you goin'?" She stopped leaning against the tree and stood up straight.
The jellyfished froze for a second, beeped green once more, then started off again.
"Ohhh, okay. I see. You leading the way? Well okay then." Aniyah smiled in spite of herself.
She followed behind the jellyfish. Together, they made their way through the darkened woods. Hopefully, to rejoin the others...
•2•
"I've never been in this part of the city before," Flower-Seed admitted. "I didn't even realize there was so much down here. I knew there were older parts of Locist Spire that were here before the Jikk, and that most of it was under the city, but I didn't expect there to be all of... this." He looked around, pausing briefly to admire the elaborate architecture around him. "I mean... Gods. There's actually streets down here. And structures. Not to mention these sculptures and platforms. It's breathtaking. It's almost like an entire settlement encased in a mausoleum. A sort of... civilization time capsule."
Quijj gave only a noncommittal grunt in response.
The two of them walked side-by-side along a wide street paved in stone. So much was stonework, or marble. The craftsmanship that went into all of it was something even modern Artisians likely couldn't replicate. Large sections of the old city were in ruins, but those that remained mostly intact made Flower-Seed feel as if he'd traveled back in time. If they'd had the sky overhead instead of a cavern roof, he could have easily imagined being in the center of a bustling metropolis.
They strode by a towering sculpture made to resemble some sort of animal Flower-Seed couldn't identify. It certainly wasn't any kind of insect, or Insectoid. It had four legs and a tail, plus a large round head. It was as intriguing as it was beautiful.
Cave crickets were softly singing in the nooks and crannies. The distant sound of dripping water played constant accompaniment to the hollow resonance of this subterranean wonderland.
They turned down what had once been a side street, with Flower-Seed leading the way. Up ahead, a cavern wall blocked their advance. There was a place where the wall had been broken, creating an opening just big enough for them to squeeze through.
On the other side, they came upon a ledge overlooking a sprawling cavern. There were more ledges--some, only narrow slabs of stone reminiscent of catwalks; others, much wider, holding half-ruined structures--high up along the cavern walls. And in the center, sitting like an island in the dark sea of darkness, was a sprawling marble platform. The platform was surrounded on all sides by crags and trenches so deep Flower-Seed couldn't see their bottom. There was a naturally formed staircase of stone leading from the platform to another opening. This was most likely the main entrance to this chamber. Flower-Seed realized now that he and Quijj had taken an alternate route to get here, than the others had.
Yes. There were others. A lot of them, from the looks of it.
On the marble platform below, rows of tents and even a makeshift gazebo had been set up. As Flower-Seed's eyes adjusted, he began to make out the robes of Advisors; the armor of Spire Knights and Spire Watch. There were excited, panicked voices echoing throughout the cave. Some sort of commotion was going on.
"I had no idea any of this was here," Flower-Seed whispered.
Quijj gave him a strange look.
"Don't ask how I knew where to go, or how to get here. I just... did."
Quijj nodded, but said nothing.
From the platform, someone yelled: "Arrest the traitor!"
"Ah, shit," Flower-Seed said. He was no longer bothering to keep his voice at a whisper. The figures gathered below had broken into something close to a frenzy. "They must be talking about the Councilor." He looked at Quijj with a serious expression. "We have to get her out of here. I'm not exactly the biggest fan of our government, but something really bad is going on down here. I got... visions. I saw Spire Knights with their minds corrupted by parasites. Whoever attacked the city... they've infected some of the officials. We have to do something. If we're ever going to rebuild... we need Jikk like Councilor Lemma. She's one of the good ones."
Quijj grunted in agreement. "Alright. Let's do it."
"What's the plan?" Flower-Seed asked, suddenly nervous. He felt a bit silly asking Quijj what the plan was, considering the elderly tavern keeper had just been following his lead up this point. Now that they were here, Flower-Seed didn't have the slightest idea what he was going to do. Or even what he could do. He couldn't fight a trained Spire Knight. Let alone an entire company of them. He'd only get himself killed!
Fortunately (and to Flower-Seed's great relief), Quijj said: "Just wait here. And get ready to run. Like you've never ran before."
"Alright. I think I can do that much, at least."
Quijj nodded. He drew his odd-looking weapon, and leapt down from the ledge; spreading his wings as he did this to glide over to the platform. Just as the old tavern keep came to a landing, Flower-Seed saw two armored Knights seize Councilor Lemma by the arms, and pull her to the ground. One of the Advisors screamed.
Shit! his mind cursed. Come on, Quijj. You gotta do something! And fast!
•3•
There was a particular knock at the hidden door to the Navigator's study. Three heavy raps, a pause, then two sets of four bangs; the coded knock he'd taught to the mercenary leader. The corners of Drokin the Navigator's mouth--little more than soft tissue on either side of his pointed beak--sagged slightly, in a parody of a frown. He shot a glance over to the wall-mounted clock above his desk. It was only Ef'tat-Half-Wane. The merc shouldn't have made it to this part of Barkstone Barony, for at least another three Shecks.
Drokin cast a suspicious eye toward the opposite end of the room. He reached beneath his desk, unfastening the blade he hid there. It was always good to have a backup weapon. The talon-like claws of his hand instinctively found the pommel of his rapier. "Enter!" he called to the door.
There was a hefty creaking sound as a considerable portion of the wall was pushed inward, revealing both the false rock of the door's opposite side, and the midday sunlight beyond the study. The light was much too bright for Drokin's eyes, after spending so much time inside the chamber under the Arcas Rune lamps. For a moment, he had to squint in order to get a decent view of his visitor. The moment Drokin saw the figure entering his study, his claws tightened on the handle of his weapon.
The one who appeared through the doorway was not the merc leader Rave the Ravager. Not by a long shot. The stranger was a Jagged Fields Nerthran, just as Rave was, but this was where their similarities ended. Rave was of slightly larger than average size for an adult male member of the mothfolk race. The Nerthran before Drokin was the antithesis of average (or "slightly" for that matter). He was enormous; much larger than seemed natural. If one of his crew mates had told Drokin about seeing a Nerthran the size of this one, Drokin would have labeled them an exaggerator at best, a boldfaced liar at worst. He certainly wouldn't have believed mothmen could grow this large, if he weren't seeing the proof of that very thing with his own two eyes.
"Where is Rave? Who are you?" Drokin demanded.
The giant mothman slowly stepped inside the study and creaked the door shut behind him. He did not answer.
"I asked you a question. Where is--"
In a baritone voice that was almost pleasing to the ear, the mothman said: "Would you Sky Pirates send your Captain on every minor mission, or simple errand? I am Master Rave's deliverer. I am called Nollo."
A peculiar name for such a hulking creature as this, the Navigator mused.
When Drokin didn't initially respond, 'Nollo' added: "I have the Relic you wanted." He held up a black rectangular case, almost like the kind a Bard might use for protecting a musical instrument.
Drokin thought this over a moment, studying the towering mothman carefully. He felt almost like he was looking up at a living statue. One of the great big ones that lined the streets of the grand cities of Roshuka, or populated the ruins of Jyyrvesk's Old Country. Even the hulk's features were oversized, as if they needed to compensate for the massive face to which they were attached. This 'Nollo' somewhat unsettled Drokin. The self-proclaimed "deliverer" had a long, slender mouth that didn't quite seem to want to close all the way. This gave the mothman an almost moronic appearance; a dimwitted face with the mouth of a drooling imbecile. Combined with his considerable size, it would have been easy to dismiss this Nerthran as a buffoon. Even the title "deliverer" played into this impression. And he seemed to have a permanent glazed over quality about his eyes. However, Drokin saw what lurked beneath the surface. When he looked beyond these things, the Navigator could detect a cold, calculating intelligence in the mothman's eyes. Upon closer inspection, the glazed over quality didn't strike the Navigator as entirely organic. It struck him as purposeful, practiced--part of a kind of disguise.
Nollo was a mothman with the soul of a spider...
As these things dawned on Drokin, the unsettled feeling he'd had since this mothman's appearance turned to something bordering on outright fear. The Navigator had been all across the Lesser and Greater Reaches. He'd seen some horrid things. Something about this stranger was different, however. There was something not quite Insectoid in his eyes; not quite Of This Pocket Realm, as the Captain was want to say. Drokin had never believed in the concept of evil. Not in the same way the Old Scrolls talked about it, as least. But now--here in his study, confronted by the figure before him--when he looked into those eyes, evil was all Drokin saw.
"You... have the Horn?" Drokin asked, trying to sound casual. His heart was beating at three times it's normal tempo. He slowly reached for the Link Orb. Calling out to Captain Heekan may have been the only chance he had left. "Let me get you the coin I promise then."
"Stop," said Nollo. "Put your hand down."
Drokin paused. The tips of his claws were just inches from the Orb. If he were quick about it, he could snatch the thing up in a microsecond. The Navigator was quick. He was a trained fighter, afterall. But... he knew intuitively he would not be quick enough.
"I beg your pardon?" Drokin said, trying and failing to keep some air of authority in his tone.
Nollo laughed. It was not a pleasant sound. "There was never going to be any coin, was there? You think Master Rave wouldn't sniff out such an obvious con? You really aren't familiar with the Stonewing Pillar Mercenaries are you? We are not some low-level ratcatchers."
Drokin said nothing for a moment. At last, he sighed. He allowed his training to replace his fear. It took quite a lot of effort, but he managed. When his heart had returned to something closer to a natural beat, he leveled his avian eyes at the mothman. He dropped his hand, but brought it down to his rapier. He drew the weapon, but made no move to strike.
Through the end of his closed beak, Drokin growled: "Alright, asshole. Just what are you after?"
Nollo laughed again. He flipped open the brass latches on the black case he held, opened it. Inside, wasn't any Relic. That had been a lie. The black velvet lined interior of the case held a single object: a large throwing knife. Nollo removed the blade and let the case fall to the floor. "I'll need every piece of coin you have here. And anything else of value."
Drokin raised his rapier. "All our treasures are on the ship." He sighed, deciding to fess up. "I don't have anything here. You were right. I planned on taking the Horn and not paying. But I am obviously not getting what I wanted. There is no coin here for you to get what you want. Why don't we just call this an impasse? We both walk away, no better off... but no worse for wear than we were before. What do you say?"
Nollo shook his massive head. It was like seeing a boulder pivot atop a living column. "You think you can plot to take out our leader, and live to tell the tale? You're even more stupid than you look."
Now, Drokin was getting angry. "Do you have any idea who you're fucking with? You can't stand against our entire crew. We're the Hawkblood Pirates. You think Captain Heekan will just sit by and let you--"
The knife was buried in Drokin's windpipe, before he ever saw the mothman throw it. For someone so massive, Rollo had a dexterity and speed that were virtually unrivaled. There was a soft clang as Drokin's rapier fell to the floor; a soft gurgling sound as he began to choke on his own blood. He gasped for air his lungs couldn't find; his hands clawing at his throat to pull free a blade that wouldn't budge.
Drokin the Navigator fell to the floor with a hollow thud, knocking his chair over in the process. The last thing his dying mind registered before he lost consciousness was the sight of Rollo the mothman standing over him, whispering: "You Sky Pirates never should have come to the Wilden Green."
Then, Drokin was fading. Fading, fading.
Fading.
Fading from the mortal world, and headed for that Great Beyond...
•4•
Eyes. So many eyes. Staring. Watching.
Abominations. Wretched perversions of nature. Black-tongued things. Slime things. Things with many, many eyes.
Many. Many. Eyes.
Vellnoth! It was awful!
Zoocher slipped through a whirlwind of swirling shadows. He sank into quicksand of blackness. His mind shattered, then reformed. Shattered, then reformed. The world became a pane of glass which broke into a million, billion, trillion little pieces. He reached out, desperately trying to pick the pieces up, to put them back together.
It was no use.
Horrors. Eyes. Looking. Looking at me. Through me. Seeing me. Seeing all.
SEEING.
Zoocher rocked himself back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. There was dirt and grass beneath him. He was curled up into a ball, hugging his knees against his chest. Yet, these things were just background details. This was just his surroundings, and his physical body. His mind was somewhere else--perhaps, in another patch of dirt, slowly turning to mud. No. Not mud. Quicksand.
Sinking. He was sinking. Sinking, and slipping away. Slipping off into that Forever Night.
White Staircase?
No. He saw no White Staircase. Perhaps, only the Black Steps awaited him after all the awful things he'd done in life.
Only... there were no Black Steps, either.
Because he wasn't dead. Not yet, at least.
He was alive, but he was not living. Not in the normal sense.
Eyes. Watching. Looking. Seeing. Viewing. Glimpsing.
STARING.
GODS. OH GODS. OH VELLNOTH PLEASE!
No mercy for him. No Gods coming to save him. Only horrors.
He'd been in that terrible place, in that terrible room for what had felt like centuries.
Now he was back in the woods. But not all of him. He'd left some essential part of himself back there, back in that terrible place.
And now, he'd never get that part back. It was lost to him. For good. Forever.
Zoocher leaned over and vomited yellow bile onto the grass. His head was swimming. He slowly stood up. As he stood, everything fell away. Everything. His entire being. His essence. His all. His whole.
Zoocher? No. There was no Zoocher anymore.
Maybe there never had been.
Certainly, there would never be a Zoocher again.
Shattered.
Zoocher was shattered and lost. Gone. Now, Zoocher was no more. Forever departed.
He felt something warm and wet run down his legs. He'd urinated on himself without realizing it. This did not bother him. This meant nothing. He took a step forward and vomited onto his vest. This too meant nothing.
He stripped off his armor, his undergarments, his weapons. He kicked off his boots. To one side of the pile he'd made with his belongings, there were a set of bootprints in the dirt. He turned in the opposite direction, and started walking. He didn't know where he was going. He only knew he needed to walk.
Visions winked in and out of his mind. He continued walking, muttering to himself all the while. He spoke of everything, of nothing. He asked questions without answer. He gave answers to questions no one had asked.
Those eyes. They were burned into his brain. No. His brain was a burn. A scorchmark, littered with eyes. Staring. Watching. Waiting?
He walked on. Walking through the woods, to nowhere. Walking. Muttering. Thinking of eyes and Slime things.
It was a long time before he stopped.
•5•
There were two astounding sights, which presented themselves consecutively before him. In over two decades serving as one of the Hawkblood's top Assault Commanders, he had never seen anything more incredible than the Black Pyramid. That was, right up until the moment he saw the entire Pyramid vanish right before his eyes. If anything could be even more incredible than seeing the Pyramid; suddenly not seeing the Pyramid would have to be it.
Commander Ramses blinked several times, as if he were unable to trust what his eyes were showing him. The airspace beyond the windshield of his Glider Pod now showed only a sea of nothing, save for the Sky Gods higher up in the atmosphere.
"What the fuck? Where did it go?" he muttered to the empty cockpit.
The Glider Pods were designed to resemble plump black ravens. Ramses's Glider was slightly larger than the others in the fleet, as his was the Pod that carried most of the Big Weapons. Currently, they were in a V formation like actual birds; twelve in Ramses's group, twelve more in Commander Paulo's group that would have been approaching the Pyramid from behind; another twelve coming in from the right, making up Commander Gichi's group. The Gyff had their own Gliders, fashioned from wooden planks and some unknown material Ramses had never seen before. The Gyff ships looked a lot like the Gyff themselves; like long slender walking sticks. Their ships cut through the air like wooden missiles, lined up in a near row.
Ramses slapped the control panel, activating the Com-Cube. "Am I seeing things? Have I lost my mind?"
"No." It was the voice of Commander Gichi. She sounded uncharacteristically shaken. "The damn thing went POOF. Just like that."
The Gyff leading the stickbug group (his name was Kloom, if Ramses's memory served him) chimed in. "What do we do now? Will it reappear, you think?"
Ramses smacked the controls again, this time out of frustration. He said, "Somebody better get the Captain on the--"
"Already here," said the voice of Captain Heekan.
"You been listening this whole time?" Gichi asked.
"No. I just came on. Now listen. Everyone. Listen very closely. The Pyramid isn't in the valley anymore, but all is not lost. We will track it down. I already know where they took it."
Ramses gaped at this. "What? Captain... how could you already know all of that? It just vanished, only a few ticks ago."
Gichi made a soft gasping sound. "Captain. No. Tell me you didn't use it."
"I had to," Captain Heekan said with remorse. "The Mirror is too valuable a tool for us not to utilize it. And if ever there were a time when we needed it, it would be now."
"How many years did it take off your life?" Gichi asked hesitantly.
After a pause, Heekan said, "It doesn't matter. We're getting sidetracked here. There is a lot more going on than we realized. There are agents of not one, but two of the 5 Pharoahs here in the Wilden Green Valley, as we speak."
"What?" it was Gichi and Kloom in unison.
Commander Paulo broke his silence. "Which other Pharoah are we talking about?"
Heekan said, "Aside from Camaria the Butcher who we already knew about (it was one of her Scarabs that took the Pyramid), there's some of the Necromancer's men here too."
"The Necromancer?" Ramses said in disbelief. "The right hand man of Dowlmad the Deathless?" Ramses felt a cold chill run up his spine. "You're not telling me he is here in this valley, are you?"
"The Necromancer himself? No. Just some of his underlings. The Skinless Men, they're called."
Gichi asked, "Are they really all after the Pyramid and the Artifacts? I can't imagine two of the 5 Pharoahs would expend resources just for the stuff we're after. Aside for the Black Pyramid. But even still... something seems off here."
"Well," said Heekan. "That's because something is off. There are bigger forces at work here than we ever realized. Sure, they were after the Pyramid and the Divine Battery. But those are more like... party favors, to them."
Ramsese shook his head. "I already don't like how this sounds." The open sky outside his Glider suddenly felt less like empty airspace, and more like an endless abyss. One glance at the Sky Gods floating higher in the heavens strengthened this feeling, causing the commander to shudder as another chill ran up his back.
Captain Heekan said, "Then you really won't like what I'm about to tell you."
As it turned out, the Captain was absolutely right. Ramses really didn't like it one bit. None of them did.
•••
And Commander Ramses was not the only one who was told things they didn't like. While he was listening to his Captain's words with growing unease, elsewhere in the Wilden Green Valley, a certain Ranger was receiving a rather ominous warning...
•••
•6•
Deep within the bowels of the Reverse Tower. In the Domain of the Being known as O'Faxx.
Ranger Lexington stood atop the large boulder, surrounded by a sea of sludge. The putrid aroma of this place once more assaulted his senses, while his boots sank into the slick, squicky growth coating the boulder. Lexington's dragonfly-like features hid his discomfort. Outwardly, he appeared as stoic--as unshakeable--as always. At least, until he spoiled the effect with a knowing smirk.
To the bubbling muck, he called out: "So, you decided to help out afterall?"
There was no response.
Lexington's smirk faded. He bowed his head slightly. "It's alright. You don't have to speak. I only wish your assistance had been enough. That way Burlap wouldn't have had to give his life the way he did."
O'Faxx did not emerge from the murky depths.
Lexington would have sighed had the air quality in here not been so abhorrent. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. I will find a way to reward you."
Although O'Faxx remained beneath the muck, his voice echoed inside the Ranger's mind. "My actions were not on your behalf. Your ignorance betrays you, Overseer."
Lexington cocked his head to one side. "If you say so." He shrugged. "Some guys just can't accept a thank you, I guess."
"You have yet to understand. I helped you, to destroy you. None of you know yet what you are unleashing. I did not see the truth before, but the truth has now presented itself to me. The Gods wish to assemble the 12 and bring about the White Clock Consortion. Fools. They don't yet realize with the advent of the White Clock, the Black Clock follows. Those numbers shall count down their destruction. I looked into the destiny of the mortals you have placed so much faith in. I saw what they will bring about. They are one of the Four Winds that will blow upon the Door of Doom. One of them is a Paige of the Necronomicon."
"What does that mean? Quit speaking in riddles."
"There's a storm coming, Overseer. A storm that will wash away the world. This one, and all others. I haven't helped you. I've only helped the first few raindrops, so they might better form within the dark clouds hanging over this Pocket Realm. And in the wake of that rain? The thunder shall soon roll."
A storm coming. Four Winds that will blow upon the Doors of Destruction. Thunder.
These things made no sense to the Ranger. One thing was clear however; whatever O'Faxx's words meant, Lexington didn't like the sound of any of it.
•7•
There's a particular way Advisors and nobleJikk cry out when something disrupts their normal routine. It's a breathy sort of shriek, like someone emptying their lungs before they faint. Many of the High Advisors were voicing this exact variety of shriek now, as High Knight Pyx ordered his Spire Knights to arrest Lemma.
Temporary Councilor E'Shesh (to her credit) tried to block the path of the Knights. She was shoved out of the way, hard enough to cause the poor she-Jikk to tumble over onto the hard marble surface of the platform.
Then, underneath the makeshift gazebo, pandemonium set in. The stress of the attack on the city had already pushed everyone toward the brink of panic. This new development made them all leap right over the edge, falling right into the place people (Jikk, or otherwise) always fall in times like this one.
Lemma didn't run. She stood her ground, glowering at Pyx and Councilor Tholke; glaring as if she could knock some sense into them with her gaze alone. Of course, this was a futile endeavor. The Knights were upon here a moment later. Strong arms seized her, throwing her to the ground. Then, oddly enough, even stronger arms were lifting her from the floor. She stared down the Knights arresting her, but the expressions they gave her in return were not those of hardened Knights doing their duty. They were the expressions of Jikk who'd been caught completely off guard.
As she was lifted even higher, Lemma finally realized it wasn't the Knights who currently held her. It was someone else.
"What... who... what's going on?" she cried weakly.
She was being carried away by... one of the local tavern keepers?
"What's happening? What are you doing?" she demanded.
"She's getting away!" someone shouted.
"After her!" a Spire Knight ordered.
All at once, the Knights were airborne, in pursuit. The air was alive with the sound of buzzing wings, the shuffling and frantic falls of boots, and so much shouting. Lemma dangled over seemingly bottomless trenches and crumbling remnants of the City That Once Was.
The tavern keeper, in all this time, had only explained himself with a single grunt. Now, he was using his free arm to aim some kind of weapon at the Knights.
"No," Lemma pleaded. "Don't kill them. They're only doing their duty."
"Stun-shot," said the elderly tavern keeper. The words came an instant before his weapon discharged and the air behind them exploded in brilliant blue electricity. There was a loud series of crackling sounds, as the small-scale controlled lightning tore through each of the Knights. As if an invisible net had ensnared them, the Knights all froze in midair a moment, before their wings slowed to a standstill. They began to plummet down to the darkness below.
The tavern keeper voiced a soft grunt of regret.
"You can say that again," Lemma scolded. "The shot may have stunned them, but the fall will surely do a whole lot more. What's the meaning of this? Are you kidnapping me?"
The tavern keeper shook his head. "Behind you," he said. They climbed higher, closing in on the stone wall of the spacious cavern.
Lemma craned her neck to look back at the platform. What she saw horrified her. Hight Knight Pyx and Councilor Tholke. Even from this far away, she could see that their eyes appeared to have ruptured. From the vacant holes where their eyes had been, large fat yellow worms as long as sword blades were spilling out onto the platform. Each worm slapped down onto the marble, then immediately began to grow in size. Within mere seconds, each one grew to the size of a Field Roamer pup. And they only continued getting bigger.
The Advsiors and officials broke into a stampede, making for the platform's only exit; the flight of stone steps leading up to the passageway before street level.
"Gods," Lemma whispered. "We have to seal off the exit. We can't let those... those things make it up to the city."
But based on the ever-increasing size of the worms, and their ever-growing numbers, she feared it might already be too late.
"Hurry! Come on!" someone shouted, just ahead.
Lemma turned toward the sound of the voice. She saw a Jikk standing atop a stone ledge, high up on the cavern wall. She didn't recognize him.
A second later, the tavern keeper brought her down to a gentle landing on the ledge beside the unfamiliar Jikk. She eyed them both suspiciously. "Just what is going on? And who is this?"
"My name is Flower-Seed. And we've got to get the fuck out of here, Councilor."
The tavern keeper asked, "How can we seal it off?"
Lemma thought for a moment. "You came through there?" She pointed to the large gap behind Flower-Seed.
"We did," said the tavern keeper.
"Then we might be able to beat the worms to the surface. There's a secret tunnel in the cave ceiling, a little further on. Come on. We have to get to the statue of Kylo the Great, up in the Cobbler's District. There's a hidden lever inside. I know the code to turn it. It will seal off the Old City. It's our only chance."
"Then let's get moving," said Flower-Seed.
The tavern keeper only grunted his agreement.
Together, the three of them took off at a sprint. There truly wasn't a single moment to spare...
•8•
Rave spotted the figures below, standing patiently beside a gnarled, leafless gatortree. He came to a landing, just a few yards from them. Eight pairs of cold, dark eyes peered out from eight fleshless humanoid faces, considering him with an alien species of indifference.
A long black case was tucked beneath Rave's right arm. In his left hand, he clutched his Rune Stone expectantly. Any moment now, Nollo would be giving him the word that the deed was done. Any moment now. Rave had an internal clock that kept near perfect timing when it came to things like murder.
Sure enough, the Rune Stone began to grow warmer to Rave's touch.
Nollo's voice came through the Stone. "Boss?"
Rave grinned with what remained of his ruined mouth. "It's done?"
"It's done," Nollo confirmed.
"Good. I'd expect nothing less. You know where I'll be?"
"Yes, sire. I'll see you there shorly."
Rave didn't bother giving a final response. He put the Stone away and took the black case into his hands. The Skinless Men only watched him patiently.
Rave approached the figures beneath the gnarled tree. This was a remote region of Jikkellia's borderlands, where the high grasses gave way to miles of mostly barren dirt and rock. The gatortree stood out, in that it was one of the few trees on the visible landscape here. Just over the horizon, was the large mountain where a certain group of outsiders were rumored to have crashed in a small rowing vessel recently.
Rave waited for one of the skinless men to speak first. When none did, he said: "A lot of people wanted this Horn. You just so happened to be the only ones offering more than coin." This was a half-truth. The Sky Pirates had spoken of coin, but had in reality, offered only betrayal. "I've kept up my end. Now, I expect you to keep yours."
Rave's mind calculated dozens of ways he could slaughter each of these figures, should they show any sign of aggression. It was just how his brain operated. He plotted ways to thwart threats that hadn't even been presented yet. In this line of business, you had to stay twelve moves ahead.
Right on time, Rave's reinforcements arrived. He'd been doing these kinds of deals for far too long to ever go by himself. Even if he did feel confident enough in his abilities that he wasn't weary of the figures before him. Even in a 1 v. 8 duel to the death, he was certain he'd have the upper hand.
Four mothmen mercs landed just behind Rave--keeping their distance but standing at the ready. Rave didn't so much as glance at them. He casually stepped away from his foot soldiers and moved closer to the Skinless Men. "So, how about it? You said you had a way to get us out of this valley. Is that still true?"
One of the figures (there was really no way for Rave to tell the apart, as they all looked like carbon copies of each other) nodded. "We represent Pharoah Dowlmad. Pharoah Dowlmad always keeps his word. Give us the Black Horn and we shall give you freedom from this place."
Rave said nothing a moment. At last, he nodded. "Alright. I'll take you at your word." He slowly held out the case, offering it to one of the figures. The skinless man eagerly accepted the Artifact. He lifted the lid and removed the item inside, handing it to one of the others.
The Black Horn of the Olde Music looked like the hollowed-out horn of some bovine creature, like those Rave had seen sketched in old tomes. Aside from the fact it was black as obsidian, of course. There was a silver mouthpiece banded around the narrow end. That was all there was to the object. All in all, it was rather unimpressive looking by Artifact standards.
The other man examined it for several seconds, before deciding he was satisfied. He nodded back to the first man who took the Horn and returned it to its case.
"So," Rave said, taking on a tone of casual conversation while feigning ignorance. "What does that thing do, anyhow?"
The Skinless Men only regarded him coldly.
Rave nodded, flashing a half grin. "Fair enough. Now... as for your part of the bargain?"
"Yes," said the man holding the case. "You want your entire company to leave this valley? Return to us when you are all together. Some of us will remain here in this spot. We will give you three sunrises after sundown today. If you aren't here by then, we cannot wait any longer."
"We'll return long before then," Rave said.
There didn't seem to be anything more to say. He turned and motioned to the other mercs. "Let's head out. We'll regroup with the others and get everything underway."

Hello guys,
I am a student currently in my final year of B.Tech and I am in a dilemma on choosing what country to go in order to pursue my masters.
I was initially planning on pursuing it in Australia as there would be no "H1B Visa Lottery" sword constantly hanging over my head.
After a little research and realizing that I would earn way less in any other country compared to the US bothers me a lot.
Is it really worth it to study/work in the US with all the immigration problems over relatively lesser earnings and better immigration friendly laws?
Is the pay/earnings aspect really the only thing I should be looking into?
I am an average student and with all the competition in US in the Tech Industry do you think it is worth it for me to pursue Masters there with the above mentioned problems?
I only started researching a few months ago (please feel free to correct me)
I would really like to know your honest opinions regarding the topic and what according to you guys would be the best place to pursue masters?

The saga is ongoing. Lots of updates. Lots of flowery language. Cheerleading.
I'll post the 32 OP posts in comments so save you all going through the whole thread if you're not MN members. Eta - couldn't add as a comment so here's the longest post ever.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
The saga is ongoing.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
He has run off with the kids, advice needed and handhold 32 replies Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 09:30
Posting for traffic. Apologies, its long.
Some might remember my previous threads. Basically I separated from my controlling ex in February. Things moved really quickly. And I managed to find a house. I moved out on Thursday. Instead of taking the kids out whilst I moved to make it less distressing for them which we had previously agreed, he stayed and made me take all my stuff out in front of them, and put it into the front garden. My friend and her children came over to help load her car up with my stuff. As awful as it was I stayed strong for the kids, they were excited about the new house, their new bedrooms and where choosing which toys to bring as well as playing with their friends in the front garden. Once my stuff was out (not much, he refused i take any furniture), he demanded my keys back, demanded the kids go inside, and literally pulled my 4 year old away from me, she was screaming and crying. He slammed the door in my face and shut the curtains. In hindsight I should have called the police then, believe me I realise that now. However i was trying to cause as least stress as possible. Due to previous advice on here I have recorded him on multiple occasions. I recorded the children Thursday morning whilst they were playing whilst I was moving my stuff out. You can see my stuff in the front garden and the kids happy and playing. When he took my daughter off me and put the other two inside and slammed the door on me, I started recording then too. You can clearly see and hear my daughter screaming behind the door , (part frosted glass door) and him pulling her as she's holding onto the front door handle from the inside. You can also hear him say you will see mummy tomorrow. Him and I had agreed that they would come to my new house on Friday morning whilst he goes to work. He has been using my past mental health against me, (see previous threads, I will try to link,) since I told him I wanted to separate, he wanted me to provide him a letter from a medical professional saying im sane 🙄. My cpn is dicharging me next week, so he will have that on paper - i know i dont have to do that but I will send him a copy because i have nothing to hide. On Thursday afternoon he phones me asking when will I be giving him half the child benefit. I tell him I am arranging mediation and we can discuss it there as he keeps ranting at me down the phone. So, Friday morning comes around. I message to double check what time he is dropping them over. I get back one message saying the kids are safe, I'm not taking any calls. He then ignores my texts and calls. I got round to his house and the car is gone, the curtains are drawn. He has done a runner with the kids! I phoned police and social services. As we have only just separated there is no child arrangements order in place. I'm absoloutely heartbroken. I've never known pain like it. They are 1, 4 and 6. They spend the majority of the time with me. Nearly 4 years ago he built and insulated a shed in the bottom of the garden. He has slept out there 99% of the time since. Leaving me to do all night time childcare since then. The girls who are 4 and 6 sleep in the bedroom next to me, the 4 year old wakes almost every night and comes and spends the rest of the night with me. My one year old has been in my bed since birth, what must my poor babies be thinking? He also works part time where I have the children on my own. The 4 and 6 year old are homeschooled. I take them to all activities and clubs and play dates etc. I know this is 100% about control, that he is using the children to try to break me so that his "she's an unstable mother" claims come true. I am 100% confident in my ability to parent my children. I am 100% confident that there is no issue with me, infact I've never felt stronger, my mh has never been better. That's why I knew I had to leave, because I knew I could be a strong single mother to my beautiful babies and I didn't want them witnessing his toxic behaviour any more. I will not have my children growing up thinking his behaviour is acceptable. I have a solicitors appointment Monday morning at 9am. All services have been informed, mediation is booked for 2 weeks time. I have phoned the police 4 times since Friday, who advise its a civil matter. I have spoken to social services who have said I'm doing everything right and have contacted every one I need to. I have even contacted universal credit. I believe part of the reason he has taken the children is because he won't receive the child element of universal credit anymore. He has Been begging for half the child benefit which thankfully is in my name. I was receiving pip due to my previous mental health issues, and he claimed carers element in universal credit. Obviously now I've moved out, and said he isn't my carer since we split, he doesn't get that anymore. He was only having to work part time because of this, despite claiming to be my carer, I was doing the vast majority of child care and household chores, whilst he slept in the shed so his sleep wasn't disturbed.
I have never felt pain like this. Being away from my children and wondering what they must be thinking, why they aren't seeing me, what he's filled their heads with is breaking my heart. I know and I will be strong and get through this short time until the courts decide on child arrangements. I'm also realistic about the fact that he could keep them until that date, in which case it could be at least a month before I see them again. Even when I had pnd 4 years ago, I went to a mbu with my daughter, they knew it was imperative that she be with me. I did end up being sectioned but my medication was adjusted and I made a rapid recovery. I was allowed to leave early from the section and even then all my children were allowed to visit me in the family room next to the unit as everyone knew how important it was they and I have regular contact. I was never a danger to my children, I just felt that I wasn't good enough to be their mother. However I've worked hard on myself, I am fully recovered. I engaged in all therapy, took the medication properly and came off it under their advice. I look after myself because I know that to be a good mother to my kids I need to be good to myself. I since have had my 1 year old and there's been no issues at all. Infact as 'my carer' he never once phoned any services or teams on me with any concerns regarding my mental health in an extremely long time, years, So there is also evidence of this.
I have my furniture being delivered today, the girls Bunk beds and sofa, tables etc. I will make this house a special and safe home for my babies, where they feel respected and loved.
I'm sorry for the huge post. Please if anyone has any more advice on what I can do, Or any questions for the solicitor appointment tomorrow I would so appreciate it. I need all the support and advice I can get. Thankyou
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 10:52
NEmama · 05/03/2023 09:46
Stay strong. Are his family involved? Would ex mil speak to him . Awful situation for you op x
Nope, no one is answering or responding. I have absoloutely no idea where they have gone. My guess is he's spoken to a solicitor and they've told him he is legally with in his rights to take the kids as he has parental responsibility and there is no court order in place
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 14:48
Dartsplayer · 05/03/2023 14:43
Unfortunately, having gone through the same thing with a family member, this is correct and there is nothing the police can do.
@Iamworthit you need to download a C100 form and submit it to your local family Court for an emergency hearing to have the children returned to your care as soon as possible. This group were invaluable in guiding us through the process from the children being taken to getting a Child Arrangement Order in place. You sound like you are doing everything right
www.facebook.com/groups/488124058749486/?ref=share
Show quote history I have my solicitor appt Tomorrow. Will she do that?
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:08
CalamityClam · 05/03/2023 10:19
Hold tight. My ex did the same thing. I had to leave without them. The DCs were safe with him even though I knew he was an absolute controlling TWAT - I knew they’d be upset, but I knew they’d be safe. I did everything you’re doing, determined to have it sorted legally so he couldn’t do it again, even if it meant waiting to see them. Believe me, the novelty will soon wear off for him when he realises he’s stuck with the kids and you’re as free as a bird.
It resolved for me quite quickly- within a couple of weeks. We shared care going forward. The DCs are adults now and have a very distant relationship with their dad.
So reassuring to speak to someone who has been through this and there was a positive outcome. I haven't spoken to them at all or seen them since Thursday morning, this is the longest its been. I'm assuming he has gone to his parents over an hour away. The police managed to get hold of him today and will be doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. They can't give me his wareabouts. Im terrified my kids are going to forget me, especially the one year old, other than a handful of nights where he agreed to have him for a night or 2 whilst I visited friends/ family, he's always been with me. And what if he turns them against me. I'm so scared they will think I've abandoned them and hate me or forget me. It could be weeks before a court hearing. Can a 1 year old Remember that long. I don't know.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:23
Sunriseinwonderland · 05/03/2023 11:27
Take a deep breath and step back OP. My ex pulled this stunt more than once and the judge awarded me full custody and him none because DS was so traumatised by him. It took a while but it was ok. Well done for recording it. Your solicitor will advise you.
How long did he keep your son away from you for? I'm so scared they will forget me x
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:29
macncheeeesey · 05/03/2023 12:34
He's trying to punish you and unfortunately you have to abide by the system.
He will likely realise how hard it is very soon and won't be able to keep up with the homeschooling and caring for three little ones - especially as you say he sleeps in a shed normally.
Use this time to make the house a home for them. You can apply for an emergency family hearing - I'm sure your solicitor has advised on that.
He's an evil man who is damaging your kids but he won't be able to keep them. You've done everything you need to and informed the right people.
Try to distract yourself and use this time to work on your plan of attack to get them back and get yourself right.
My ex took our DD and wouldn't give her back but did eventually. Police wouldn't get involved after they did one welfare check. I would call them and ask them to do a check and say he is mentally unstable and you're worried about the kids. This will be logged and hopefully will scare him a bit.
I know the feeling, my DD wanted to come back but ex wouldn't let her. When she did some back she was super clingy. She knew what her dad did was wrong.
You've got this and you'll get them back.
I'm sorry you went through this too. How old was your daughter when he did that? How long was she away from you for. I'm scared they will hate me, god knows what he's telling them about why they can't see me
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:33
liveforsummer · 05/03/2023 12:47
Presumably he was taking care of them while she was sectioned so whilst he may not look after them when she’s gone he clearly can.
He looked after 1 dc then, not 3. He has become increasingly abusive since then
No, he went to work when I was in the mother and baby unit with my 2nd daughter. My mum and mil took it in turns to look after our eldest and he would look after her when not at work. Even when i went away for a couple of kights for my friends wedding my mum came to help him look after the kids
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:40
Springchicken75 · 05/03/2023 19:36
Op I would also strongly advise you to contact women’s aid after your appointment with the solicitor, they will offer some much needed support and advice.
www.womensaid.org.uk I did this a few weeks ago and I just got an email back with endless other support agencies, solicitors to call.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:45
OhmygodDont · 05/03/2023 20:00
Snatches children like some mad man on the street. Or a father having his children for the weekend or maybe even being the resident parent.
With this whole women and men are equal they are aLeo equal parents 🥱. He text saying they were safe and he would not be taking her calls. Police have been called 4! Times and don’t seem to think there is any issue. Op willingly left them on the Thursday.
Im sure op will hear find out more Monday morning but nothing makes her the better or more superior parent in the eyes of the law currently.
The police got back to me today. They are doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. I didn't Willingly leave them on Thursday. I left them heartbroken, not wanting to cause any more distress and with a stupid idea he would do the right thing and give them to me the next day as planned.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:16
Sami561 · 05/03/2023 20:22
I am so sorry you are going through this OP. The pain is like nothing else.
I have been in the same position as you and, unfortunately, as you have probably found, The Police have no powers if the father has parental rights. They say it is a civil matters for the courts.
All I can say is that this will massively go against him in family court proceedings- it did for my estranged husband. He was banned from having our child overnight for a considerable amount of time until he could prove he was trustworthy again. The courts and professionals also named that he was using our child as a emotional weapon towards me by doing this. Your husband will be viewed in exactly the same way by all involved. He isn't thinking about the children at all, he is thinking about himself and getting one over on you.
Brilliant that you have a solicitors appointment tomorrow, they will give you the advice you need.
Stay strong and get that child arrangements order in place💐
I really hope they do the same. I'm sorry you had to go through this too. It so incredibly cruel and unfair to the children.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:46
Kinneddar · 05/03/2023 21:49
Probably because it doesn't meet the criteria. The children are with their Dad, there's nothing to suggest they're at risk. Just because their Mum doesn't know where they are doesn't mean there's anything wrong.
The other thing is the police will look at the history of the family in assessing things. They've been called out before because the OP was threatening self harm. She's still currently under a MH section & despite being told its not a Police matter has phoned numerous times today. Regardless of what anyone here thinks they'll make the assessment based on the information they have, which from the sounds of it possibly doesn't look great for the OP. AND the other thing is, we only know OPs version of events. I'm not saying they're not accurate but we have absolutely no way of knowing
Police don't do a welfare check just because someone wants them to, there has to be grounds.
If for instance they don't turn up at school tomorrow that would have things reassessed.
Even if officers did go out to the house tonight & noone was home they're not going to turn it into a misper enquiry at this stage.
Show quote history The police were never phoned with regards to my mental health. I always went through the proper channels with the perinatal team. Yes I did have the crisis team involved but that was 4 YEARS AGO. I was in a mother and baby unit and the medication they gave me to treat it was to low a dose. I was always with my daughter at the mbu. I got sectioned 4 years ago, and once there, my dd went back to the family home with her dad. My mum and mil also took it turns to stay with them for extra support. My section was supposed to last 28 days. I was released at day 14 due responding so well to the medication. I had been observed with my children by the nurses and Dr's theres (yes I still got to see my kids, and kept breastfeeding her and pumping the whole time) even during that period I have never been away from the kids for this long. Everyone in my care knew I was a brilliant mother, I have documents from being there. I struggling with pnd, and never a harm to my children. We were very much bonded, I just felt absolutely not good enough to be their mother. I have engaged with services at every single point along the way. I since had another baby - the one year old, and I was put under the perinatal mental health team again for precaution, but due to me doing really well during that pregnancy my contact with them was very little and the discharged me a year after birth with a plan to come off my medication, which I have done. Even after all this I'm still strong because I know I have to be there for my kids when I do get them back they will need me more than ever. Yes he was claiming carers allowance. However he hasn't phoned any mental health team in years with any concerns about me. He is trying to gaslight me to say that he has concerns, well than why as he only just raised concerns since I told him I was leaving ? Thankfully this is all fact and documented. My cpn has been phoned by my ex regularly since for the last few weeks since I said I'm leaving. My cpn has received calls from my ex and his family claiming I needed a welfare check. I arranged for my cpn to see me, who agreed that I'm fit and well and will be discharged this week. My cpn told me he said to the mil that they are all wasting his time and to stop calling him. My cpn visited me on Friday when I phoned him to say my ex had taken the children, he came over straight away, and is still satisfied I can be discharged. I've had a traumatic childhood, pnd was almost inevitable I've been told, however I have worked bloody hard on myself and am a credit to my children. Any one else reading this thread in the future who has to go through similar, please do not let posters like this wear you down. I have had PREVIOUS mental health issues. My mental health now is better than its ever been.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 08:55
Thankyou. Omg 8 months your poor baby
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:28
UPDATE solicitor was great. She will apply for an urgent hearing today. Expensive, but my mum will pay this initial fee. Hopefully be seen by the court today 🙏 With a predicted respond date by Friday from him. I don't know when this means I will get them back, but at least the ball is rolling She will also put in a Prohibited Steps Order to stop him from changing their gp, Registering them for school, or taking them abroad.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:38
SchoolTripDrama · 06/03/2023 10:36
Fantastic news, I'm pleased for you.
Also, him doing this, will MASSIVELY negatively affect his chances of getting access in the future, via legal routes. Judges look extremely dimly on parents who pull this stunt
Show quote history Thankyou. I hope this can be resolved ASAP. I think she said she's going to request an urgent live with order too
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 13:46
mucky123 · 06/03/2023 13:33
I have no actual knowledge of the Court system in these circumstances or anything helpful to say but I just wanted you to know that I have read the whole thread and I think you are incredibly brave and strong. I think lots of people would have crumpled at this and maybe gone back to him or just broken down. Well done, keep fighting, hope it is all over soon.
Thankyou. Don't get me wrong I've sobbed huge tears of grief this weekend and been full of panic and worry, one thing I will not do is let him break me. My kids need the best version of me right now, and so that's my focus x
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 19:25
Another update Not so great. He also did a Prohibited Steps Order. So the judge received them both today. They decided to see us together but the quickest available date is on the 21st of March! I've seen a copy of his order and requests. He wants me to admit I'm unstable. He wants confirmation from mh professionals I'm OK. It looks like he says I can have Supervised contact and calls. So obviously yes I'll take anything I can get, but need solicitor to confirm this. Also made allegations about how "unstable" I am. That I'm a suicide risk, that I've done x,y,z... BUT there's no record of him phoning my gp or cpn or anything, so hopefully that can quash that! He also keeps phoning my cpn telling him he is going for custody or he is giving me the order, or he is hiding away with the kids... So obvious he wants me to crack in front of the cpn. With regards to my cpn he is telling me he is putting my case to the team for discharge tomorrow, there is a chance they won't agree, and with the luck I'm having atm I'm beginning to think that they are going to say they won't discharge me.
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate everything you ladies have said. I will update tomorrow with any news.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:30
Nope not since Thursday morning
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:46
Scalessayeek · 06/03/2023 22:00
OP I can’t believe how some people are trying to bring you down. I would have completely fallen apart in your situation. You just need someone to see your posts on here to see how centered you are at the moment.
Sending you all the strength and luck in the world!
Thankyou. My kids have never needed more. All his behaviour is doing now is showing me just how controlling he is, and that getting out of that relationship is the best thing for me and the kids long term.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
P3N · 06/03/2023 19:42
Stay strong OP. You are doing amazing. Have the police got back about the welfare check? Your ex is disgusting trying to use your MH against you.
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:54
Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Show quote history Physical harm that Is. I said I'm guessing they are at the grandparents then and his expression told me everything I needed to know. At least they know them. Although they are nearly 80.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 15:57
Whiskeypowers · 08/03/2023 15:47
Hope you are holding up ok @Iamworthit
have you had any updates from the police or your solicitor etc?
No more information from police. He came back last night to his house, was there this morning amd gone this afternoon. I was notified by my friend who lives close by. No idea if the kids are with him. Waiting to hear if I can have Supervised visits before court hearing on 21st. Tonight will be night 7..
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:08
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/03/2023 19:19
Just for my own understanding, why do you need supervised visits?
Show quote history I don't. He is claiming I'm mentally unstable and a flight risk because he's a controlling, pathetic excuse of a man. He vanished with the kids and put an application for a Prohibited Steps Order that I can't have the children back until he sees a letter from a medical professional to state otherwise.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:10
MaireadMcSweeney · 08/03/2023 19:54
Honestly I would probably do this too, but I don't know how that would impact on the court hearing. Remember now the process has started you can't just pull out and cancel it.
Show quote history This. I can't do anything because it's with solicitors, police and social services.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:33
Hi ladies. My cpn came over today. He isn't going to discharge me for another few weeks. This is positive, because it means he can tell the courts/judge that he is having the most recent interactions with me and there for can give an honest and open account of how I am. He phoned My solicitor personally and she agreed this would help my case. He has written a letter for this interim period to say he has no concerns. My solicitor believes if he with holds supervised visits before the court date he will be doing himself no favours at all. My cpn also told me that in his notes he has written that in his professional opinion my ex is mentally unstable (he has been pestering my cpn every few days for the past few weeks, since I told him I wanted to leave, however not once in over 3 years before I wanted to split was he concerned). Also that he is bring coercive, he is controlling, and the fact he sleeps in a shed 🤣🤣!! My cpn has Been brilliant throughout this whole thing. It's a case of playing the long game at the moment, I can't do anything to jeopardise seeing my kids. This is night 7. I last saw them a week ago tomorrow at around 11. I will not let him break me. He is using every tactic he can think of.
Go to post Iamworthit · 09/03/2023 11:33
cpphelp · 09/03/2023 08:03
The update about your CPN is fantastic. You are doing everything right. I think you're amazing, and all of this will be working in your favour. Maybe once all of this is over, they will insist on supervised visits only for him! How's the house coming along? Charity shops and the British heart foundation furniture shops are great for filling up a house xx
Thankyou. Yes my cpn has been great! Every second that goes by is another second without seeing my children, but it's also one second closer to getting them back in My arms.
Today marks a whole week since I last saw, held, played with, cuddled or even talked to my beautiful babies.
Go to post Iamworthit · 13/03/2023 20:34
UPDATE So, I got to see them this weekend!!! Supervised with my mum present at his request, but after 9 long days I finally got to see them, hold them, tell them I love them and they didn't forget me! ❤️ They loved the house, and their new bedroom 🤗 it was magic!
I'm hopeful for more contact this week which solicitor is hoping to negotiate. I'm STILL waiting for my letter from the CPN!. He was told by his manager to go through the NHS solicitors to make the letter water tight so that ex/his solicitors can't pick holes in it, so I'm actually waiting on the NHS solicitors now, its frustrating... They have had a similar case happen before, so want to do as much for me as possible.
However, ex agreed to contact this weekend, both days, due to my CPN speaking on the phone with my solicitor, and informing her I am well, capable, of sound mind, has seen me / spoken to me every few days since ex started with these mind games a month ago.
The kids were very anxious about going back to him, which was heartbreaking, but at the very least they know I'm always here, I have a safe home and I'm going to fight for their right to be with me, their mum.
Thankyou for all your support ladies. The first "urgent" hearing is next week, and then it's dealing with cafcass, social services etc for the next (and hopefully final) hearing in 2 months time where we will find out the child arrangements order.
Still a bloody long way to go till this is sorted, I don't trust that he won't do anything he can to get at me. He is already disputing the kids living with me and now my benefits may be stopped or suspended until this is sorted, which is just another form of him trying to control me.
I will never go back to him. I have lost all respect, faith, trust and any love I had for him is well and truly gone. He was able to hide behind clever words, confuse me, manipulate me and control me for far too long.
I hope the kids will forgive me for this upheaval in their lives, and I hope beyond all hope that they are back with me on a regular basis and that the judge can see him for what he is and that his actions have impacted our children's emotional well being significantly. But, until I have the judges decision, I know I won't take anything for granted. Anything could happen and now I know ex is capable of this, he could be capable of more and throw something else at me.
As always, thanks for checking in on me and your support xxx
Iamworthit · Yesterday 18:44
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · Yesterday 10:33
@Iamworthit your court case is Tuesday I think? How are you doing? Have you seen your children again?
Hi, nice username, dd2 loves hungry caterpillar!
I saw them once in the week aswell as yesterday and today. All had to be supervised by my mum, despite his solicitor confirming she sent him the letter from my CpN on Tuesday lunchtime, and me also sending him a message to say he now has it. However this letter he so desperately said he needs for me to have unsupervised and overnight visits he hasn't even responded to. I'm presuming he is waiting till court on Tuesday.
Yesterday the girls informed me that daddy left them at a strange woman's house whilst he went to work...
The time has been wonderful and I've really treasured every moment. Yesterday my one year old was in desperate need of a nap, he snuggled up to me in our new king-size bed in our new house and he slept peacefully for well over 2 hours. I feel so blessed to be their mummy and am thrilled at how comfortable they have been when back with me for these times. If anyone reads this in the future going through something similar - they don't forget you. That was my biggest fear, but I have more faith now that the bond between a mother and her children will always be there, no matter what or who stands in the way. Love is love.
So, our new magic house (the girls named it) is empty again for now. I'm just counting down the time until Tuesday afternoon and hoping/praying/wishing/ that the judge sees him for what he is and what he has put the children through. My solicitor is hopeful, but obviously no one knows what's going to happen on the day. I never thought my ex was capable of what he has done, but here we are.
I hope everyone has had a lovely mother's day 💗
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 11:18
Thankyou for all your messages and words of support for tomorrow. The police know everything, they did their welfare check on the children whilst he was staying at his parents house in their old country farm house with the attatched holiday home for them to stay in surrounded by their 40 acres of land. Not in the home where he and I lived with his shed at the bottom of the garden and no doubt chaos in the house where for the first time he is having to do all housework, laundry and cooking. They have been back at his for almost 2 weeks now. I have found a small comfort in them choosing games on their tablets and me getting the notification to approve their choices. The fact that I left with barely anything means they have the majority of their toys there, beds, tv etc and to them it was our home where we all lived together so at least they have familiarity. Cafcass will probably be doing a Section 7 report in which case they will meet with us and the kids in both houses so can make their own assessments from that.
They love our new house and I've explained to them the benefits of two houses, bedrooms, toys, Christmas, birthdays etc. They are being so resilient and brave through it all. I'm hoping for them it's just been a bit of an adventure.
The children filled me in on their day at the 'stranger ladies' house, where there was other children, guinea pigs a cat and a dog. They watched telly and played with the other kids and the animals and they gave dd2 a dress she particularly liked. They were very animated about it. I guess at the very least they had fun, I imagine they've been pretty bored with him. We had to drive past his house and up the road next to ex's house to get to mine yesterday and dd1 proudly pointed out 'that ladies house'. Would you believe it's almost directly behind his house!! For all I know he's been seeing this woman behind my back. She could have been hopping over the fence every night and going into his shed for all I know. I can't believe this is my life right now, you couldn't make it up. But as I've come to learn the hard way I certainly can't trust him, and I won't put anything past him.
Literally just counting down till tomorrow now.
X
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:28
I have no idea who she is. I did however do a Facebook search of the local "Andreas" in the area and the kids pointed to who she was and pointed to the children who they recognised. It took all of about 60 seconds to find her. And the kids named the kids correctly to what she had shared publicly on her fb page. There's even a picture of her 'cheers-ing' her primary aged son both of them holding glasses of red wine. I've taken screenshots. Her name isn't on any registered childminder lists.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:29
ThreeLocusts · Today 12:12
Will light a candle for you tonight. You've kept it together amazingly through all this. Here's hoping your kids will be back with you tomorrow.
Thankyou x
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Iamworthit · Today 13:41
Ilovethewild · Today 13:10
Op, stay true to yourself and your children.
don’t get caught up with what ex is doing/seeing/sleeping with. It is irrelevant! You can’t control it and the kids are ok. It will just muddy the waters. As others say it’s another twist from ex to distract you and send you off the rails.
focus on what you can do and what’s in the childrens best interest.
good luck with tomorrow, I hope the kids come home to you asap.
I genuinely don't care what he's up to relationship wise, I've been hoping he'd find someone else for a long time and leave me alone.
What I do care about is him leaving the kids with someone they don't know for whatever reason, when I'm round the corner desperate to see them, and him thinking he can do whatever he likes without any consideration for them, me or my mum who's had to drop everything (shes been brilliant in all this) without question, to supervise time for me to have my own children.
I will definitely be asking for first refusal of child care as some other posters have suggested.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:42
Sunriseinwonderland · Today 13:20
My ex hid him for a month. DS was desperate to see me. My ex is a very wicked man.
Show quote history That's despicable. I'm so sorry x
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 19:19
Tomorrow is an urgent hearing to sort out the interim child arrangements before the first official hearing in May after cafcass have done their reports. It's possible there will be another 2 Hearings after that and this could take anywhere from 6 months up to a year to resolve.
Because he did a runner with the kids first, filed a Prohibited Steps Order to stop them living with me because he is saying I'm mentally unstable.
Best case scenario they return to live with me and the judge sees through his controlling behaviour and that he doesn't have the kids best interests at heart. Worst case scenario it stays as it is.
I suspect he has something else up his sleeve to throw at me tomorrow. Its clear he wants me to suffer as much as possible.

Purchased back in the fall and received a few weeks ago. I’ll lay out the specs, but this is a great, unused 3 season jacket. I would keep it, but since ordering I’ve made plans to move soon and I own too many jackets for the climate.
https://imgur.com/a/EwIwlEq
Jacket features: Shell: 20D nylon (steel gray, but the color has a purple-hue) Lining: 8D charcoal Fill: 950 DWR treated down Fill weight: 3oz Total weight: 7.08oz Fill zip Hand pockets Collar (no hood) Elastic cuffs Adjustable shock cord waist
Sizing: These are the measurements I sent to Ben that corresponds to my body measurements, not the jacket. Neck circumference: 15.5in Chest circumference: 38.5in Waist circumference: 37in Hips circumference: 38in Sleeve length: 34in Desired length: 25in
For reference, I’m 6’ 1” 170lbs and this jacket is perfect length (I wanted it to be long enough so I wouldn’t get drafts up may back when bending over) and trim fitting, but I can layer a fleece underneath.
I paid $355 for the jacket and I’m looking to recoup my costs. I’ll include shipping and PayPal G&S fees. Bonus for you is you don’t need to wait 16+ weeks for a good UL jacket!

My wife and I live in France, we are artists, gardeners and moderate hippies, choosing to shop locally, organic, sustainable etc.
One way to reduce waste is to cut down on toilet paper usage. Despite being French we do still value cleanliness and in order to do this we wipe our starfishes with moisturised, reusable cloths, a little like flannels, which are then placed into a bin and boil washed weekly. This isn't as weird as it sounds, though it did take me some time to become comfortable with the practice. These material squares also double as washing-up cloths and dusters.
Additionally, I grow lots of very hot chilies which we sell in our local market. Local, sustainable, organic etc.
Last weekend I was preparing the last of the season's habaneros for market. They were chopped and deseeded prior to smoking and powdering. I'd used several cloths during the cutting process, wiping oily knives on them and finally using one to wipe metal filings from a blade I'd just sharpened.
I left the kitchen looking rather messy and went to set up the drying/smoking system. When I returned to the kitchen the cloths were gone and in their place was my grumpy wife, miffed because she'd had to tidy-up after me as her mother was due to arrive imminently for a Mother's Day meal.
Twenty minutes after the arrival of my mother in law I heard cursing and splashing coming from the toilet. As you've probably guessed, my wife had placed the pile of used, oily but clean looking, cloths in the bathroom. My mother-in-law was paying the price of buffing her ringpiece with 500,000 scovilles of blazing Caribbean fury and steel knife shavings.
My wife is no longer talking to me, my father-in-law thinks it's hilarious and my MIL has been dousing her wire spider in milk for an hour. Happy Mother's Day.
TLDR - raw chili on my MIL's anus, apparently it's my fault.

If I had a silver dime for every time I have heard this excuse... Lets add to the discussion now based on current events. Bank safety deposit box contents can be stolen by government agents. Cash on your person or stashed in your vehicle can be arbitrarily deemed as proceeds of crime and seized under civil asset forfeiture laws. Your food and preps can also be confiscated. If you are own senior preferred bonds of a bankrupt financial institution the regulators can now arbitrarily declare your asset worthless in favor of subordinate investors. With the ongoing rollout of digital currency, your cash balances in your account can surely be stolen from you without compensation, regardless of the promises of the FDIC. Dont even get me started on tulipcoins and the layers of fraud that are separating people from their money every damn day in that rigged casino. I could go on...
As owners of bullion what do we have to fear? That opportunists will temporarily manipulate the market price of our metal to put lipstick on a financial policy pig? That we will be ordered to surrender our financial nest egg because the sociopaths and parasites fucked things up so bad that its the last bastion of value they can loot? LOL! Stack wisely Apes. There is always going to be risk but we get the last laugh. I do not know if this is the Big One - I think not. But the Big One is coming and those who own bullion get to walk away with some of their wealth intact while everyone else loses everything.

Bondholders and international regulators criticise state decision to prioritise shareholders amid threat of legal action
The Swiss government has come under fire from bondholders and international regulators for its handling of the $3.2bn rescue-takeover of Credit Suisse by UBS. The two banks were forced together over the weekend by Swiss officials in a shotgun marriage that stabilised the teetering Credit Suisse but wiped out $17bn of its bonds, upending the normal priority of investors.
The decision to favour shareholders at the expense of bondholders sent a shockwave through already brittle markets on Monday morning, with investors in so-called additional tier 1 bonds fearing that they too could be sacrificed in a similar scenario at another bank. AT1s issued by other European banks fell about 10 points on Monday morning, according to Tradeweb data, with UBS bonds trading at 83 cents on the dollar,
Deutsche Bank’s at 63 cents and BNP Paribas’ at 70 cents. Davide Serra, founder of Algebris Investments, said the move was a “policy mistake” by the Swiss authorities, who had “basically stolen” the bonds while facilitating a SFr3bn ($3.2bn) payment to shareholders. Jérôme Legras, head of research at Axiom Alternative Investments, which holds Credit Suisse AT1s, said the move could undermine trust in financial markets. “It’s more than a pure legal issue — it’s about market confidence and how you treat investors fairly.” US law firm Quinn Emanuel said on Monday it was in discussions with several bondholders “representing a significant percentage of the total notional value of AT1 instruments issued by Credit Suisse” over possible legal action. It added that an investor call to explore “potential avenues of redress” was likely to take place on Wednesday.
AT1s are often called “contingent convertible” bonds and have their roots in the 2008 financial crisis. They are designed to take losses when institutions run into trouble. As global banks’ debt sold off on Monday, other countries’ regulators intervened to say they would not follow the Swiss model in resolving distressed banks. The European Central Bank said “common equity instruments are the first ones to absorb losses” while the Bank of England said AT1 bonds ranked ahead of equity and would face losses “in the order of their positions in this hierarchy”.
The backlash came despite the fact that Credit Suisse’s bond documentation made it clear that Swiss regulators were not “required to follow any order of priority”. In volatile trading, shares in struggling Californian bank First Republic tumbled more than 33 per cent. UBS recovered from a 14 per cent slump shortly after markets opened to close 1.3 per cent higher, though on Monday evening S&P cut the bank’s credit rating outlook to negative, citing “material execution risk in integrating CS”.
Among the beneficiaries of the deal are Credit Suisse staff who hold stock and have also been told they can receive a bonus in the coming weeks. “We will continue to allocate for a 2023 performance bonus for those eligible,” wrote Credit Suisse chair Axel Lehmann and chief executive Ulrich Körner in an internal email. However, the acquisition price is a steep 59 per cent discount to the bank’s closing share price before the deal and some bankers have also been paid in the now worthless AT1 bonds. Many are braced for job cuts, which are expected to number in the thousands. Managers said they would “work diligently and at pace” to inform staff and “aim to continue to provide severance in line with market practice”.
Swiss investors have said they will consider legal action over the government’s use of emergency measures that meant shareholders did not get a vote on the transaction. Ethos Foundation, which speaks on behalf of pension funds and other institutional investors that own up to 5 per cent of both banks, said the takeover was “a huge waste for the shareholders and the Swiss economy”. Swiss politicians are being balloted on an emergency sitting of the country’s parliament to scrutinise and potentially block elements of the takeover by UBS.
https://www.ft.com/content/9058bfec-85a5-4983-8f8c-2ded77e101d7?accessToken=zwAAAYcAgFgokdOQWL_shaVJg9OPjC3td-EB1w.MEYCIQCDqody91w-5joCYuPgSs_CjL7SVivShCml_R7b6weagQIhAIIDuuWNjlDCuI3pae2k2-Eb3fFjCKaOaNd8OCh8gjcL&segmentId=e95a9ae7-622c-6235-5f87-51e412b47e97&shareType=enterprise

There's a specter haunting the sub... the specter of... Oh fuck, this bit is played out, isn't it?
Hello everyone, it's been a couple years since my piece asking people to chill about calling things fascist. Just long enough for everyone to forget it and the problem to come right back!
But that essay is a companion to today's topic, as is this ever relevant video by FoldingIdeas about The Thermian Argument.
Today, I want to talk about diegetic essentialism, how it poisons discourse, and is a cynical ploy by corporations to get you to mindlessly consume their products. And, especially, how it's managed to infect Warhammer and Sigmarxism in particular.

Introduction: Don't be a DEckhead

If you Google the term "Diegetic Essentialism," the first result is....this sub? What the fuck? Did we make up this term? Shit, that can't be right.
Ok, so there are actually a lot of other terms to describe this phenomenon, which has become pandemic over the past decade. Lore brain, Wookipediaism, the Thermian Argument, Cinema Sins-esque, Funko Pop Sunnism (ok, I made up that last one too).
But being the fucking insufferable, over educated losers that we are, we decided the best label was diegetic essentialism. The perfect academia poisoned definition. Exactly descriptive, but so wrapped up in jargon, it can't be understood on its own. So what does it mean?
The diegesis is a work of fiction's "universe." It is the imaginary place where the story is unfolding. There's a joke that's common in movies that explains the concept perfectly. A soundtrack is played over the intro, and when the credits are finished, a character leans over and turns off the radio, cutting the song short. The joke being, you thought it was the film's soundtrack, something the characters can't hear, but it was actually diegetic sound, sound that existed "in that universe." The joke being that there kind of isn't a real difference (hyuk hyuk).
Essentialism just means the only valid thing. To be essentialist is to say that something has an underlying, a priori nature that cannot be denied.
Put em together? It means someone who thinks the only way to analyze, critique, or understand fiction is as though it were real. To the DEckhead (how I'll be referring to the diegetic essentialist from now on), a work of fiction is like a keyhole into an alternate universe as real as ours.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this, it's often how we enjoy something as a consumer. And the DEckhead is nothing if not a consoomer.
While we're watching a movie or reading a book, we allow ourselves to pretend like it's real. It's fun.
But when a normal person returns to reality, they understand that fiction not only isn't real, not only can't be real, but isn't intended to be, beyond the fun of enjoying it.
It is something which is produced by artists, authors, actors. It may or may not have clarity of purpose, themes, intended takeaways, cultural criticisms, etc. It might just be something someone thought was cool.
In a movie like, say, Scott Pilgrim (I know but it's a good example here), when Scott punches someone they burst into coins. This is obviously not intended to be real. In the "universe" of Scott Pilgrim, people are not made of coins, it's just a fun video game reference, an absurdist joke.
But this is true even in something like Superman. When Supe punches someone, he's not really punching someone. The physics of that would be like being impaled by a telephone pole. No, the punch is essentially metaphorical. Evil is defeated by the strength of justice. A punch is the psychologically satisfying, "non violent" way to do that. IRL it actually very easily could kill the petty criminal the same way a knife or a gun could, but it's something our brains can passively accept, it feels right.
This is a critical aspect of media comprehension. Most aspects of a story are thematic. They're not meant to be understood as literally real, but rather meant to evoke the feeling of something real.
The DEckhead does not understand this, or, chooses not to, and gets angry at people who don't follow along. To them, a fictional universe is a consistent, coherent place that exists beyond the boundaries of the text in question. And the only thing you're allowed to do is contribute to "the canon." A term which was literally invented as a joke that is now taken 100% seriously. Welcome to the internet, enjoy your signal decay.
Our sub's eternal enemy, 40klore, is a perfect example of this.
Always are they searching for "evidence" of what something is "really" like, or who would win what fight. You know the type.
Which primarch has the biggest dick? What does Shadowsun eat for breakfast? Questions that, even if an author explicitly spells them out, do not have answers, because they are not real.
Let me give you some other examples to give you an idea how absurd this exercise is:
Does Gandalf have colon cancer? Does Pikachu like dubstep? Did Captain Ahab have imposter syndrome? Hopefully, you're getting the idea. Characters exist to serve a story, they don't have a reality independent of that.
And the only thing that determines what happens next in a story is what an author decides will happen next. That's it. This is true even of historical fiction or works like The Martian, in which the original author went to great lengths to make it as "realistic" as possible. But "Realism" is essentially a genre trapping. It's like a lightsaber color, it's just there to help you enjoy the work. It can't be real.
So here's a great example from the sub that everyone isn't sick to death of, female space marines!
What does the DEckhead say? There can't be female marines because there's no geneseed for them. What does the other DEckhead say? Cawl could totally do it if he did primaris!
These answers are categorically wrong. There were female marines, but they didn't sell as well, and for logistical reasons, they were dropped. Lore was invented to justify this. And it stays that way because the cultivated identity of your marine consumer expects it to stay that way (we will talk about this term later), and would go Gamergate on GW if it changed. GW likes money, and not rocking the boat, so without a compelling reason to blow up their current fanbase, they maintain a piece of fluff so that it's "impossible." ("It's an easy fix! One line of dialogue, thank God we invented the uhh.. You know... Whatever, device.")
This is the only coherent answer. "Lore" reasons are for idiots, and are literally wrong. It's like thinking that Toucan Sam controls what goes into froot loops.
Of course, I'm not saying you can't enjoy fiction on its own terms. But when criticizing it, you must think of it in material terms, as a production made by authors with intent. Lest you fall into this mental trap.
So how is this relevant to us, and why is it bad? Seems straightforward right? Can we be done here?
Well, unfortunately, DE is the tip of a very ugly cultural iceberg. We have a lot to talk about. About late capitalism, about the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, and about how one of capitalism's new frontiers is our brains, and how they've been fully colonized.
Ugh, fuck, like my sister essay, this is way too long. We will break it up with memes and jokes. Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

Media saturation and the attention economy

Have you noticed recently that there's just, like, way too much shit?
Pick any medium: TV, streaming, books, games, movies, music, fuck, even board and tabletop games.
The production and sale of entertainment products is more voluminous than ever. The sheer quantity of things released, even good things, is so large, that even if it were your full time job, you couldn't keep up with just one of these mediums, let alone multiple.
Sometimes people in the same hobby, that like the same genre, maybe even the same property, won't have anything in common with each other.
It did not used to be this way. For better or for worse, "pop culture" used to mean pretty much everyone had seen something. In 1991, 22 million people watched the season finale of Dallas. Now, something with a 2 million person fanbase is considered strong.
As more and more media is produced, it is competing with an ever shrinking attention span. You literally don't have time for this shit.
What results is an alienated, fractured fan "community," one in which you're forced to seek out other atomized individuals to even know someone who's experienced the same thing as you.
And this problem is only getting worse. With the proliferation of choices, not only is there an ocean of garbage to wade through, but a calculation has to be made whether that thing is even worth experiencing if you'll never even meet someone else who has as well.
Ever scrolled through Netflix for hours and found nothing to watch? Ever paid good money for a game on steam and never once played it? How many books are you planning to eventually read, only to find that by the time you start, they're not relevant anymore?
There used to be a thought experiment in philosophy like this: if you had a superpower where you could make any movie you want, but only you could see it, would you want it?
That's not a thought experiment anymore, it is functionally true.
As a result, very few cultural properties have any lasting impact, and fewer still will even experience them. And so they become shallower as a result. They need to appeal to ever increasing crowds of people but still have nothing to say. How can you make a resonant cultural impact, when the culture is essentially a shattered mirror of little cultivated fandoms? How can you even know how to speak to people? This is, not coincidentally, why every show sounds like Twitter now.

The walled garden, the cultivated consumer identity

Corporations have a term they use, cultivated identity, to describe a marketing and sales strategy for how you break through an environment like this.
Now this part of things I'm not an expert in. A lot of people make a lot of money figuring this shit out. But the outline of it isn't hard to understand.
If you're selling people a product, you're kind of a sucker. The buyer gets to evaluate whether that product is worth their money, and you have to convince them that it is, based on its quality, with consequences involved for lying or falling short.
But what if instead, you could convince someone that the product is part of their identity? You're not a customer, you're a blorbo! And you can't wait for blorb 13, the blorbening!
What does it matter if it's good? A blorbo blorbs. Duh.
Obviously, I made this sound as stupid as possible. And yet, how many people call themselves gamers? Hobbyists? Superfans? YouTubers? Even "nerd" and "leftist" can fall into this category.
This isn't like being a film buff, which has expectations of expertise involved. And it's not like an ordinary fandom or genre appreciator, e.g., a metalhead. This is merely a consumer category. You get in the club by being someone continually buying into something, regardless of quality or expertise.
It's pernicious, and it's a highly effective way to cut through all the noise.
Why buy the next thing? Because it's your identity. You could avoid it, if you wanted. But then you're back to that screaming void of attempting to parse through an ocean of stuff based on its quality, which no one else may even know about. Worse, the more people become like this, the less you can relate to them unless you become the same thing.
How many of you have read all of the Horus Heresy novels, all 60-something of them, even though you can count on your fingers which ones aren't complete dogshit?
I own all the Broken Realms books, and I sit and defend AoS on this sub all the time. Why? That shit is online somewhere for free, and I don't give a shit what redditors think about a game I enjoy playing.
It's because GW colonized our brains. In order to keep you onboard, they want you thinking about Warhammer all the fucking time. They want it to be the only thing you consume.
Have you ever looked at something in real life and said, "hey! That's just like Warhammer!" But no, it obviously isn't. That's their marketing with its hooks in you. That's the brainworm they inserted so you'll keep coming back.
And now that I've mentioned this, you probably see it everywhere. Video games that demand they be the only things you play. Endless manga and anime that never has a satisfactory conclusion. TV or books that go on forever and have spinoffs and sequels and tie ins and etc etc etc.
This differs from just making more content for things that are popular. The goal of these kinds of franchises is to be totaling. Warhammer, in particular, is so impenetrable that you can't know it all (even if it is a mile wide and an inch deep, which is actually intentional.)
Marvel of course is the clear juggernaut here. You could live your entire life in a Marvel bubble, if you wanted to. There's that much content.
Shit, even things like apps have the same strategy. Endlessly consuming your attention, refusing to let you go long past when you're getting any use out of it. How often do you even remember what memes you looked at an hour after you put your phone down?
How do they cast this spell on us? Why does this work?

Competitive identity and fandom

And now we return to D.E., and its role in this.
Real media criticism is like the product comparison we made before. Is this a good fiction? Are its themes coherent? What were the authors trying to say? Were the performances good? Etc etc.
You may notice, these are essentially subjective questions, which are the bane of both capital and the hopeless nerd.
If I judge something as bad, it's not easy to convince me otherwise. So you need to pull the conversation away from that, into something "objective."
Enter diegetic essentialism. The goal here is not to evaluate any substantive question. The goal is to establish canon. Quality and artistic merit are essentially irrelevant. And the author might as well be god himself. Aloof and unknowable.
In a deeply bitter form of irony, many DEckheads actually invoke death of the author as evidence for why a story can only mean what its "canon" implies it means. Symbolism? Allegory? Metaphor? These things don't exist. Only "details." Details established by fan arguments.
In this environment, it becomes very difficult to relate actual media criticism to the cultivated identity DEckhead. It tends to annoy them, or "spoil the fun." You're evaluating quality and artistry? That's not why we're here, bucko.
For you to fit into these properties, and therefore not be lost in the cultural wasteland, you begin to compete to be the biggest "fan." The best lore understander, the most details knower, the most hours logged on, the takes haver.
What becomes important is not actual construction of meaning, talent in performance, or even just having a good time, it's constructing the cultural justification for why it's worth it to stay in this identity.
I know you know what I mean.
How often have you been roped in to an argument about the Tau? How long have you spent memorizing the details of battles that did not happen and aren't even consistent? How many marketing names do you know for troops that have slightly different weapons?
When you're trapped in DE, all you can do is talk about the details. Everyone is in the walled garden. You're not a visitor here, you're trapped.
When we say 40k sucks, what we mean is the vast majority of it is zero effort reactionary garbage. Sure, some of it isn't, but that's the exception.
GW rarely or never credits their authors and artists anymore (their newest paint teacher is hands only lmao). They regularly shit can excellent story ideas if they can't connect to minis sales.
How can this dreck be worth thinking about? It's not just that it isn't real, that's obvious. It's not even really trying.
And yet that won't stop 40klore from furiously discussing the implications of bimchus boltbutt falling to chaos, all one paragraph written about it. And it won't stop someone else from spending two hours digging through wikis (which are like religious monuments dedicated to DE) to "prove" or "disprove" something that was never real and will be overwritten by the next book anyway.
Most of you are subconsciously aware of this. Be honest, when was the last time you really read any of the books? Compare that to how often you read a wiki instead, or, god help us, watched a "loretuber."
It's not your fault, it's because it's bad. It's not worth reading 80% of these things. Your brain rebels against it.
At one point, they existed to help you tell a cool story while you were playing a fun game.
Now? They exist to perpetuate a corporate juggernaut with a 30% profit margin. The game is deliberately designed to be miserable to incentivize new model purchases. And Black Library greases that engine.
Influencers and superfans consume and regurgitate "information" and "lore" to a series of people who've decided they "like" something that they literally don't like.
And you keep up with it because otherwise, you don't get to be in the "fandom." Hilariously, a lot of the arguments people make on here are incorrect even in DEckhead terms. Like it's obvious to someone who has read lore when someone else has not. But accuracy isn't even important to the DEckhead. Not really. Just that it exists to argue about.
And now we come to it. The conclusion that will piss a lot of you off.

""""""""""Leftist"""''"""""" Diegetic Essentialism

Leftist is essentially in this category too. Because it doesn't have a strict, coherent meaning like, say, Marxist-Leninist or Anarcho-Communist.
Despite being nominally anti capitalist, after the honeymoon period of escaping to the left, there is a lingering "what do I do now" that this same market mechanism is happy to latch onto.
"Breadtubers," shitty podcasts, awful electoral politics horseracing, they all fit into this same niche. An endless stream of content to deliberate on, but not act on or organize for.
Worse, since people falsely associate liberalism with the left, and liberals have increasingly become hysterical about the need to "improve" media, rather than improve material conditions, people start using diegetic essentialism to police their own fiction for elements that aren't in it.
How. Many. Fucking. Times. Have you read a thread, on this sub, from people who definitely should know better (and I do not exempt myself one bit) about how X faction is (fascist, capitalist, cringe, based, comrade, etc.) because of some snippet of their lore that clearly no author was trying to communicate, and that the story barely supports?
It's ok if you're just having fun, but we are so far past that point.
Stir made a joke a long time ago about how often the word "anarchy" is used in the Beasts of Chaos and Tzeentch battletomes in Age of Sigmar, and how it would be funny if someone thought that made them anarchist comrades instead of the clearly negative connotation GW puts on the word.
Only that's not a joke, that eventually did happen.
It's ironic that despite how saturated the internet is now with media analysis types with related degrees from universities, media literacy is probably worse than it's ever been.

The takeaway: Thematic/Material Analysis, vs diegetic essentialist problematic interpretations

Fuck, are we at the end yet? Thank God. The tl;dr is almost here.
When you make an argument like "Salamanders are comrades because in this book they did a thing that was nice, and that's like communism, so they're communists," you are doing the leftist version of DE to keep this consumer identity going. It is exactly the same as a shitty 40klore thread (redundant, I know).
It is the "leftist" version of "no female space marines."
Or, not to put this user on blast, but the recent "Chorfs are capitalist?!??" post is another great example. It would be one thing if we could examine the story and see their mode of production and, wow, look, the author included enclosure of the commons and theft of surplus value, I wonder if that was intentional? But no. The argument is "Chorfs are greedy industrialists. Capitalism has greedy industrialists. Chorfs capitalist?!??"
Lost in this kind of nonsense are basic critical questions. E.g., what was the author(s)' intent? What is the value of this criticism? Is this what the story is about, or is there only incidental interpretive evidence?
What's happening here, is leftists are using the Thermian Argument in reverse. They're using DE to say a story objectively has a message that it does not possess, and that no author intended. And, even worse, that even the interpretation is an idiotic stretch. All this to keep the fan content churning.
Do you see how foolish this exercise is? Do you see how the point isn't to critique or analyze or enjoy a work, but to create a competitive context to keep people trapped in these consumer categories?
It would be one thing if, like is the case with Krieg and Space Marines, people were deliberately misinterpreting lore as an endorsement of fascism (using an admittedly lazy and inconsistent framing where they're arguably not wrong). Especially since there's a material effect that misinterpretation(?) has on our lives.
But if we're just arguing about the fucking lore, the answer is that's it's just a bunch of shit designed by Tory adjacent Anglos to sell toys. That's it. Most Warhammer fluff isn't even worth analysis or critique, it's got nothing in it. Even the DEckhead has to scrape the bottom of the barrel most times. Sometimes literal sentences are their only "evidence."
If you want to break out of this hell, you have to start using actual tools of critical media analysis. And absolutely the first step of that is throwing Diegetic Essentialism out the window.
Don't think about lore as real, think of it as decoration for a product, made by tired authors and artists who largely aren't getting any credit.
When you want to have one of these silly takes, ask yourself instead, "what was the person writing this lore trying to accomplish?"
The answer typically, in Warhammer's case, is not much.
This is not to say there's nothing about it to discuss, far from it. We could talk all day about what Warhammer considers normal and what it says about Western values.
But there's no intelligent things to glean from the lore itself.

The tl;dr

There is no canon. The lore is not real. It cannot mean or imply anything not expressed by the authors and artists, or so strongly evident in the assumptions of the story, that it's an inescapable facet of it (e.g. Imperium and fascism).
If you don't want to be a consumer brained moron, stop asking """''factual""""" questions about the lore, and ask instead, "what did the author mean?" "How was this work produced and for what reason?" "Who made it?" "How does it make me feel and what are its themes?" And, most importantly, "is this even good? Is it even worth my time or analysis?"
Otherwise, you're just trapping yourself into a series of pointless arguments to justify your consumption, forever. And you'll be polluting the sub, and dragging everyone else down with you.
Peace, thank you for reading this incredibly stupid essay.