Its summer vacation, everyones out and having fun., enjoying their vacation.. and me? Well, I tried to have that start of my vacation last saturday with my bf and what was I greeted at the end of it? My narc parents telling me how I’m out so late (it was 10 when I got home and I wanted to go home before that but I started getting a migraine that hurt so bad), yelling me and saying how it’s dangerous outside and what I could be possibly doing for those hours outside. What do you mean? Im trying to enjoy my time outside because I cant stand being home with you people: one who bitches about our president all day as if she could do any better and knows nothing of politics, the other who seems tame at first but once he gets angry, all hell breaks loose. My mother also bitches about how people constantly do stuff wrong and I’m just one of those unfortunate people to have to hear the rambles daily. Despite her rambles, shes not perfect either; in fact shes a hoarder. A terrible hoarder, our tiny apartment is filled with her mess and Ive lived here all my life. Barely any space to walk; only to the bathroom, kitchen, bed, repeat. I organize her mess from time to time, I would love to organize the whole place and get rid of her shit that she doesnt need to finally have some space in here but god forbid I throw away some of her stuff. Containers or bottles, items such as soaps and other pointless stuff shes had for years she tells me she needs because she will need it or use some day. Mind you these things have been sitting there for as long as I remember, they will not be used. So at this point, I dont clean as much as I used to because theres no point, considering she just keeps buying more stuff every time she goes to the market or Costco. Shes just building more and more upon her hoard pile, and I dont know what to do. Nothing I say or do will make her stop, she herself doesnt acknowledge her mess. And sometimes? she bitches about me not cleaning the place, what the fuck do you mean? You did this and Im so tired. Even my narc dad acknowledges the mess shes making and she doesnt care. Speaking of these two, they fight a lot, thats another reason I dont like staying at home. Yelling and making fits in this tiny apartment for the neighbors to hear, I feel bad for my neighbors. Their fighting is never ending, and same for their constant nagging of me. They call me stupid, say I dont use my brain, when they themselves constantly ask for my help .. especially my mom. Say nothing will become of me just because I’m transferring out of a university to a community college. Reason why is because at uni, I was so lost. The stress and anxiety was getting to me, on top that I was and still am depressed, it was just not for me right now. I was 3 years in there, but still had no major I liked and just had some random major slapped on my transcript to seem like I had some idea. The reason Im transferring is because somehow, someway I still feel some sympathy for my mom. Every waking day of my life she (and my dad too but not as much as her) has pressured me to become a nurse. Despite how much I dislike the career, I’m eventually going to take it in CC. I thought to myself Ill try it at least, and if I really dont like it I can always change my major. Yet, even if my mom knows this information that Im transferring and taking what she wants, she still calls me stupid and that nothing will become of me. What? What do you mean? I’m taking what you want. Arent you happy? Why am I still treated with this unfairness. When will you be happy for me, when will you support me? Im not doing this for me, Im doing this for you, because despite how much of a terrible mom you are to me and how much hate I have for you and dad, a little bit of me still cares for you. I try to buy you and dad whatever you want with my minimum wage paycheck. I try to have fun with you guys despite you guys being the most boring people alive and never want to go anywhere. I try my very best, but Im still treated like im stupid. I try my best to like you guys, but my hate is just as greater. At my age of 21, I still have to ask them if I can go out with my friends and bf. Even then, they still dont let me hang out with them often. They have met my friends and boyfriend. The kindest, funniest, and silliest people that Ive ever met that make me the happiest. Still, my parents find a way to belittle them and say what if my friends are influencing me to take drugs or drink. My friends have never pressured me to do either, they dont even do drugs. My boyfriend who is the sweetest, makes sure I’m always taken care of when Im with him, my best friend for years. My parents say he might hurt me, treat me wrong, leave me, just want me for sex, or get me pregnant. Ive known this man for years and we have been very good friends ever since, I know he would never do these things to me. When I told him that my parents have said these horrible things, it made him upset and my heart broke. My parents are so miserable that they want to bring me and whoever makes me happy down with them. Moving out is not an option as I have no money to saved up, nobody can take me in, and if I do plan on leaving my parents will kill me. I am still depressed and I still dont know how to stay strong at times like this. This summer vacation will be a very long one.

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/sirtwixalert in workingmoms. OOP gave me permission to repost.
trigger warnings: Brief mention of child death, suicide, and abuse, but not the subject of the post

mood spoilers: Wholesome

 
Today I find out if the past eleven years were worth it - March 13, 2023
I started medical school in 2012, with the MD class of 2016; I’ll graduate this May, eleven years later, with the MD/PhD class of 2023. Four of those years were expected - two preclinical and two clinical years for the MD. Five more were added for the PhD, completed between the preclinical and clinical years of medical school. Another was interspersed throughout the two clinical years of medical school when my husband moved to another state for a three-year fellowship and I stayed behind to solo parent our daughters during most of my clerkships, and the last was tacked on as a leave of absence when COVID shutdowns and interstate travel restrictions would have kept our family separated indefinitely.
I’ve been married for 9 of those years and a parent for 7. I had our first daughter just a few weeks after I passed my PhD qualifying exam and my husband started his intern year of residency; I had our second two years later, after I had switched labs and my husband had started his final year of residency; and I had our third three years later, after I had finished most of my third year clinical clerkships and my husband had finished his first year of fellowship and the whole world had set itself on fire.
I was the primary parent, and I was parenting alone most of the time. During my graduate years, I got the kids ready and handed them off for the day, worked in the lab 9-5, and then picked them up, played with them, fed them, bathed them, put them to bed, cleaned and prepped for the next day before writing or analyzing data or reading until I couldn’t stay awake anymore. I brought my first tiny academic wingman to my first conference and gave my first presentation with her snuggled on my chest. I wrote my 243-page dissertation and prepped slides for my defense late at night with a sick child on my shoulder. During the clinical years, I coordinated early morning care for the days I needed to leave the house at 4am and late evening care for the days I couldn’t leave the hospital in time for daycare pickup at 6pm. I saved my 2 annual personal days for Halloween and the annual daycare-wide performance of the Nutcracker. I studied for shelf exams and board exams on my phone in the dark, sandwiched between two children who didn’t sleep through the night until this year and another who still wakes up at least twice a night. Most days looked like this, and many still do.
During my rotations, I stood with another mom as her two year old died and listened to a thirteen year old share the experience of her suicide attempt for the first time and played peekaboo with a four year old while my attending looked for signs of abuse more subtle than her obvious bruises and fractures and realized that I wanted to work with children and their families. I made plans to apply to three specialties that would allow me to do so – psychiatry, pediatrics, and triple board, which combines pediatrics with adult and child/adolescent psychiatry – at the hospital where my husband works, the only location that would allow us to stay where we are now. It is unusual to apply to more than one specialty, and especially unusual to apply to only one location; for each of those specialties, students usually apply to an average of around 45 programs with the goal of interviewing with around 10 programs. But my daughters have been through enough, and I will not put them through another move. So I applied to three programs, interviewed at all three, and ranked all three. At 10am today I’ll find out whether I matched, and at noon on Friday I’ll find out which specialty I matched to.
I’m too tired to even know what I want. Whether I want to match or not. Which program I want to match to. If I match, I know that the next 3-5 years of my life are largely out of my control and I will lose time with my daughters; I’m particularly sad at the thought of losing that time during the last few years that my oldest is still excited to hang out with me. If I don’t match, I’m sitting on a quarter of a million in debt without a clear path to repayment and back to square one in the finding-a-fulfilling-career game, and the time already lost in my daughters’ early years will sting even more than it already does.
I was planning to process all of this alone today, but of course it’s a professional development day for our school system so my girls will be right here with me. They know that I’m nervous, they know that I’ll probably cry no matter what the email says, they know that I’ll be both happy and sad at the same time and they know that we’ll be ok. This morning I saw my oldest looking through our giant pile of Costco greeting cards and I heard her tell my middle that she chose the one that says GOOD JOB! because “no matter what happens, mama did a good job” and my middle solemnly declared that she would stop my youngest from spilling all the cups today because “that would probably be extra hard for mama today” while my youngest calmly poured her water on the cat in the other room. These kids. My heart.
 
UPDATE: Today I find out if the last eleven years were worth it - March 17, 2023
I matched to my top choice - psychiatry! It's bittersweet, as my 7-year old told me it would be, to close the door on pediatrics, and I think a part of me was hoping to fall down my rank list to triple board (which would have allowed me to do both), but this was the best outcome for my family and ultimately for me as well. In just a half-decade or so I'll be ready to practice independently, and I'm so excited to help kids and their families and learn all of the things I should have done differently with mine!
 
OOP also added additional updates to her original post:
Edit 1: I matched!!! My oldest read the email, all three ran around screaming, and then they went and pulled out the Costco card, the extra special other cards they made, and the bag of program (but not specialty) specific swag my husband had hidden for me. I assume he had a no-match bag hidden too, so now I’m on the hunt because that one probably has more candy.
Edit 2: thank you all for your thoughts and well-wishes! One of the hardest things about adding the PhD (and then two extra other years) is that I know very few people in my graduating class, and it has been lovely to share this day with a larger community!
 
Reminder - I am not the original poster. OOP is u/sirtwixalert, who deserves all the credit.

I'm searching for a mini split AC for the summer. What's weird is that it's not that easy to find. Here in canada, window and portable ACs are far more common than a mini split, whereas in any other country, mini ac are the norm (I didn't even know about window and portable AC before coming here).
So what do you suggest? I'm looking for good quality. I checked costco, home depot and canadian tire, but their selection is extremely limited. I still haven't found one that would show the in door temperature (all the air handler unit don't even have a screen, so let alone showing the temperature). So am I searching in the wrong place, or is that all I can find here.
Also what's a good company to install the unit when I get it. And I will be needing 3 air handler to put in my 3 rooms. I saw some multi air handler units that are all wired to a single compressor. Do you think that would be an option, instead of having 3 compressor?
Thanks

Haven’t been off roading for decades. But I was just in the Middle East where they go Dune Bashing. They are crazy. Anyway on the main “highways” is just sand. So when the pavement ends, people stop, and let the air out of their tires. Sort of like putting chains on all four tires if you are in the snow. Then you continue on. Now this is not just one or two cars, we are talking thousands. Then you just drive over the sand for miles. When you return, and are about to get on the pavement they have “air stations”. Think gas stations but they don’t sell gas, they sell air for your tires. And get this…. The lines are as long as the gas lines at Costco before a major holiday weekend. (Let me know if you want to see pics). Anyway I’m wondering if people do this is the US? And with a Rivian? Maybe in the Mojave desert? Do you let the air out of your tires? How do you fill them? How does the Rivian perform in the sand? Seems like it would be a blast.

Vent
Before I start I want to say that I have a reliable, stable roof over my head. We were able to afford a Costco run the other weekend so there's meat in the freezer. We're not going to go homeless or starve. My husband has a reliable job that works 50 hours a week so he gets 10 hours of overtime every Friday. He gets paid $23/hour. I'm not asking for help, just venting.
I'm a massage therapist. I've been doing this for about 10 years. I had a fantastic clientele at the spa that I worked at. I was so sick of working for somebody else, though. There's always drama and my boss started doing shady shit with our taxes and commisions. At the much encouragement of my clients, family, and friends, I opened up my own practice this past February. It has not gone as planned. Everything was so great until summer. Nobody has money anymore.
I have no money. I poured my small savings into my business. I didn't even go all out. I thrifted or curb shopped (free!) a lot of it. My husband pays the monthly bills while I pay the groceries, gas, the sitter, and anything else our 4 year old might need. I've been living off of my credit card. Husband has started covering groceries and my usual areas too. Grocery runs used to be less than $50 a week, now it's $100 a week for the same items. We do our best to be frugal. We don't eat steak and lobster. I buy meat from the almost expired discount section. I don't buy berries anymore because they're too expensive. Bananas are cheap. I lied on the self checkout at how many avocados I had because my son is going through a phase and it's all he wants. I eat one piece of toast with one egg, half an avocado, and homemade cream cheese (that got too expensive, so did butter). Now milk prices are going up again. At least I found some free seeds so we've started a vegetable garden. The rabbits ate the first couple shoots though. Fencing, even secondhand, is expensive for me right now.
I can't sleep because my bedroom is so hot. We have air conditioning but I put my son in the coldest room and I'm in the warmest, husband is in the middle warm room. My room is south facing and that side of the house is never shaded. I found $20 on the ground this morning in the parking lot. I cried because I could go get a box fan so I can maybe sleep. I had to buy one for my grandma last year and I remembered it being $10-15. I got to the aisle and cried again because it was $23.
My son needs cotton pajama shorts. He's getting terrible heat rash and ezcema in the summer. The awful quality store bought polyester pajamas do not help. Why do the girls sections have cotton clothing but not boys??? I'm a very good seamstress. I looked for a shorts pattern and cried again because the patterns used to be $2 and now they're $9. I can't do that. I've not been the best, historically, at making my own patterns. I know the theory so I'll just have to try again. Let's hope I don't mess up with the $5 cotton thrifted sheet too much. I literally don't have the money to buy another one. Most of the sheets nowadays are polyester anyway.
I market myself, I swear I'm doing what every person suggests to grow my practice. Summer is usually slower for massage. Everybody is taking vacations. It's just so incredibly frustrating to have boomer clients that are just so out of touch. My younger clients that can actually afford massage are the ones supporting me right now, as little as it is. My prices for my business are right with what the average massage costs ($90 for a 60 min). I can't raise them anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm not asking for help. I've got a roof over my head and food in the freezer. This is just so overwhelming. I'm going to look for a second job. Even though it'll take time from my son I just don't have an option right now. I have to make more money. Every time I go to the store it's more expensive. Heavin forbid student loan payments start again. Or my 200,000 mile Honda breaks down for good. I just had to spend $400 to fix it last weekend. Out of savings, again. My mechanic says it should be ok but I'll definitely need tires for winter. He's a friend and could tell I'm stressed about it all. He hugged me when I left and said he'll always do his best to take care of our vehicles. He's got his own busy household too, though.
I'm just...tired. Worried. Scared. I just can't believe how expensive everything has gotten. Even thrift stores and marketplace is more expensive.
Oh and my feet grew a whole size so none of my shoes fit anymore. I've got weird feet and birkenstocks are my go to. The sandals that I've had for 5+ years now give me blisters. All my shoes do now. Good luck finding decent shoes at size 11 at a thrift store.
I'm tough, we're tough. It's ok to have dry seasons because then you get creative. Someday this will all be a memory. We're gonna be ok but right now I'm so fucking sick of all this.
Edit: I spent the morning looking at part time, temporary, and nanny jobs. I found some that I think might work and now I'm excited for my husband to get home to show him. I'm ok, just had a little pity party this morning! Now everybody from the party went home and I'm back to work :)

I am getting to the point where I need to replace my OEM LE2's. I am considering getting a light A/T. I am looking at the BFG Trail Terrain which is currently on sale at Costco. My main reason for looking at A/T instead of All Season is gravel and snow. I have some land and there is a long gravel road to get out there. My LE's got a leak from driving them on gravel at like 20k. Been pumping them up every other day for the last 15k miles (Dealer said they could not repair the leak because of its location on the shoulder).
I have read some concerning reports that Trail Terrains hydroplane. I do most of my driving on road/highway and rain isn't uncommon. I am wondering if the hydroplaning on the Trail Terrains is overstated or a real thing?
Is there an All Season tire that works better on gravel? I know no All Season will be perfect on gravel and I am sure this hole I got was just bad luck but I am curious what others think.
Thanks.

I have been looking to join a DnD game for, well years – unsuccessfully. If you are in the same boat, consider us! Rather than try to find an existing game to join, I’ve decided to host my own at my house: I have a dedicated gaming room with a table that sits 6 – so, we are looking for 4 more players (the two occupied seats are for myself and the DM).
If you are also tired of trying to find an existing game to join, send me a message with the following information:

• A/S/L
• Experience (in playing RPGs)
• Availability (which nights of week/weekend could you attend)

Below are a few details to consider:
What’s the catch? Well, for most people, I suspect it will be my location: I live in Lago Vista. If you are new to the Austin metro you probably have no clue where that is. That’s okay, I didn’t either until I moved here. :P I am roughly 20-25 minutes west of Cedar Park/Leander. (As a point of reference, the Costco on 1431 is about 25 minutes away).
I have a good friend who has agreed to be the DM. He has considerable experience being a DM for a variety of game systems, and is an exceptional story teller. We will be starting off with the Hoard of the Dragon Queen adventure module [which for those of you that care is a 5e module]. Our ideal is to run the game 2 nights a month. We will take a (more detailed) poll among the selected players to determine precise day/times for what works best for the most people, but our initial thoughts/preferences are to play on the weekends, twice a month, for about 3-4 hours each session. Just a little bit about me, the DM, and the space we will be playing in:
I’m male in my early 40s, unmarried, 1 dog (who cannot access the dedicated gaming room), business owner, former musician, lover of all things fantasy. (I’ve lost track of how many terrible B films I’ve watched just because they had dragons in them). While I have not played a DnD game before, I am familiar with some of its lore - having read a good number of the Dragon Lance books, all of Salvatore’s work, and I enjoyed all of the Neverwinter Nights video games (as well as myriad other fantasy worlds books & games). I’m an Excel geek, organized, clean, and just in case you are a true unicorn – a massive Battletech/Mechwarrior fan (the reason I have a dedicated game room). I even managed to work a few dragons into a Mechwarrior campaign I DM’d for a friend a while back. It was an unusual campaign for the Mechwarrior setting, but pretty fantastically integrated. If you like, or know of Battletech, you may need a towel for all the drooling when you visit the game room – it’s almost embarrassing the collection I have amassed.
A little bit about the DM (as described by me, not him): Male, also in his early 40s. He is a married, successful businessman working for a ridiculously large company with 2 girls that live with him and his wife part time, lover of animals, sci-fi, fantasy, and a gifted charismatic story teller. He excels at drawing people in and has a true gift for improvising on the fly as needed.
Both of us love beer, cocktails, wine, sci-fi, fantasy, good company, and lots of laughs.
We are both open minded. We don’t care if you are a he, she, we, them, they or whatever. People are people, and that is all that really matters. If you are a purple alien that only eats peanut butter you are more than welcome to join as long as you enjoy having fun and promise not eat us!
A little more about the space: I have plenty of parking – my two separate driveways can park six cars easily (I’ve hosted parties with 20 people or more here). The dedicated game room is not enormous, but can easily fit 6 of us. If we decide we need more room, I do have a very open dining area with a large table. There are refrigerators located close to both of those rooms if you want/need to keep drinks cold, and when we decide we need a break, there are 3 bathrooms in the house. [This place was built for entertaining]. I am fine with discreet vaping indoors [no huge clouds please], but any actual smoking will need to take place outside.

I want to keep a journal of my journey with my traeger I bought 2 years ago. Or my cooking journey in general.
I don't remember the very first thing I smoked on it, but I did smoke a brisket. "smoked"
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Guess what you have to do to a brisket before cooking it? prepare it. You gotta trim the fat off it? Pffft, just season it up and throw it on. I don't remember what seasoning I used. I ended up staying awake until 2 am trying to get that brisket smoked because it kept stalling. I know now it's because the fat would do whatever it does and bring the temp back down, so it wouldn't cook. Real interesting stuff, now that I think back on it. I got so tired out that I ended up throwing it into the oven and that mother fucker was still raw in the middle. Imagine the audacity of this bitch.
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I've cooked steaks. I used to season my steaks with dried marjoram. My first steaks look sad and depressing now that I look at them, maybe I'll post pictures eventually. These were in the oven, which is probably why they were sad HEH. Then I used montreal seasoning. I hate this, it's gross. Mom loves it though, so I'll adapt. It wasn't until I bought some blend from costco that really resonated with me. This was delicious! If I had time, I'd low temp smoke the steaks and then grill them. Now I grill them because I typically make them when I don't have time to wait. Steaks are chef kiss though. I prefer ribeye. I've done sirloins, cause they cheap, and I've also done tomahawks because they showed up at Costco. What decadence, I've never even heard of tomahawks before seeing them. Or I have in passing. I used to cook a lot of tenderloins, but I think I prefer ribeyes at this point.
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Traeger has a seafood broil on their recipe list. I did that. Having Kielbasa twice now, I don't like it. I made my mom season the seafood broil. She didn't season it enough. The shrimp was on too long. So, with overcooked shrimp, it was still pretty decent. Maybe I'll do it again eventually. Having a butter sauce would be nice if I'm not actually going to broil it.
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Beer can chicken. There's a recipe where you rub lemon juice, fresh rosemary, and stick a beer can up a chicken's hoo haw and that's it. I put onion powder and garlic powder on this chicken. It good. Produces juicy chicken. Flavorful, great. Chicken makes me hella nervous though cause I'm not trying to provide uncooked chicken to myself or my mom.
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I did pork for the first time, costco sold pork tenderloins for like 5 dollars for the whole thing. Fucking steal! I bought 2. One is still frozen in the freezer right now. I did some cocoa bullshit that traeger has on it's recipe list. Didn't like the rub. Cocoa on meat isn't my thing. Good to know. EVERYONE ELSE loved it and assured me it was good. That's fine but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like it. Otherwise it was beautiful, beautiful smoke ring, perfectly cooked. I think, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I think because the tenderloin was split into two, it's huge, I might do 2 different rubs for the next tenderloin.
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I've cooked a blueberry cake thing, also a traeger recipe, and I didn't like that. Everyone else did though. No comments to this, really. I think I did have issues blending it all together, or the prebake part, but whatever. No memories of a year ago.
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Brisket #2. I made my own rub. My uncle makes his own rub, which inspired me. I don't remember if I liked the rub, I did taste it as I went, so I assume so. All our knives are dull so I used this little cutco steak knife to trim all the fat off. Fuck, I was there forever. Whatever. Got it on the grill, smoked. Did burnt ends with butter and...honey? I don't know, I followed some recipe. I still don't know if it was right. One day I'll figure it out, maybe. I don't like brisket as it turns out. Either I don't like the cut of meat or the brisket I made. It had a smoke ring, it worked, unlike the first time.
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While grilling steaks, I decided to just toss green beans on the grill also. Just olive oil, salt, and pepper. Holy fuck, fucking perfect. Best green beans. I've made it like 5 times now, straight from frozen.
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Threw some shrimp on with my steaks in a little pan of butter and salt. Ended up finishing on the stove because we trying to eat here, not starve.
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Also, cooking baked potatoes on the traeger is one of the best things ever. Covered in olive oil and kosher salt. Perfect. No more salt needed. Butter added and just amazing.
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I think that's it. I found a brisket elote that I want to make, eventually. I should probably stop making the same things and do new things. I want to learn and just do.

Hi!
Does anyone have experience here buying Millets or wheat flour? Our indian store doesn't really have bulk quantities of Millets, so its expensive and tiring going back and forth every couple of days.
Also, does anybody here know an alternative to Ashirwad wehat flour, that are readily available in box stores like Sams (preferred) or Costco?

First post in the community and hope it’s an appropriate question/topic, etc.
I’ve had one of these jump boxes for a few years that I use occasionally for jump starting cars but primarily for usb device charging at an off-grid campsite my family frequents. It’s getting pretty tired these days.
On our last visit I discovered a pair of beat up solar panels and a solar controller at the campsite. On a whim I connected the panels and the controller lit up, so I decided to see if they could augment the battery pack which was running low (indicating 12.1v; I didn’t have a multimeter so all measurements are based on what the jump box indicates). The controller is for a 24v trailer setup and I had no inverter, so I just hooked the jump box’s jumper cables to the controller output and turned on the switch for jump start mode. The jump box’s indicated voltage immediately increased, so I angled the panels to target mid-14v and was able to fully charge several devices before I lost sunlight.
Once it got dark, I continued charging until the box went dead. Important to note that the unit seems to have two independent charge indicators: an indicated voltage, and a “charge level” led (which is wildly inaccurate- it tends to show 4/4 bars until voltage drops to about 12, and then plummets). When depleted, that indicator flashes and deactivates usb output.
The next day when I had sunlight, indicated voltage on the box increased until it held 13v even without being connected to the solar input, but the “charge level” indicator remained at 0/4 and I was unable to turn on usb output. Once I got home I plugged the box in, and as I expected it immediately jumped to 4/4. My assumption is that once the module decides it’s dead, something trips that can only be reset by connecting it to ac input, regardless of actual charge voltage.
So the bottom line question (finally) is:
1: am I doing anything that poses a safety risk? (Important)
2: am I doing anything that would be contraindicated for device reliability or service life? (I don’t really care, it’s cheap, but I’m curious)
3: sans inverter, is there anything I can rig to trick the jump box into recognizing that it has sufficient voltage and untripping the “dead mode” when it receives sufficient charge from the solar panels?
(Sorry for the length of the post- this is all mostly a for fun project for me and I’m just curious to see what can be accomplished with the resources I have sitting around. I know I could grab a cheap inverter and eliminate all these questions but it’s more of a learning opportunity to better understand how everything works. Thanks in advance!)

This morning I went to Costco, wanted to run errands early , I’m always a little anxious when going to big stores decided today to go to a new Costco I’ve never been too, I was okay until I was on line and started to get like super good vision then blurry vision it was so weird then started to feel lightheaded, breathless as if was hard to catch a breathe , then my heart was racing sooo fast. As soon as I ran out I felt better, I’m tired of this it’s been 3 years of dealing with constant anxiety I haven’t had a panic attack in a while though. I’m so mad at myself should I have stayed and fight through it ? I feel like I’m back to square one.

This morning I went to Costco, wanted to run errands early , I’m always a little anxious when going to big stores, I was okay until I was on line and started to get like super good vision then blurry vision it was so weird then started to feel lightheaded, breathless as if was hard to catch a breathe , then my heart was racing sooo fast. As soon as I ran out I felt better, I’m tired of this it’s been 3 years of dealing with constant anxiety I haven’t had a panic attack in a while though. I’m so mad at myself should I have stayed and fight through it ? I feel like I’m back to square one.

I noticed a ~2mpg drop on local roads and a ~4mpg drop on highways after installing 4 new tires at Costco (BFGoodrich - Advantage Control). My old tires were Bridgestone - ECOPIA EP422 PLUS that were dangerously worn out -- so it's expected that the new tires with full tread depth having lower mileage per gallon.
Car is 2016 Jetta SE.
However, I read that it's normal to have an up to 4% drop for new tires, which for my previous ~38mpg high way means a ~1.5mpg drop. I clocked ~34mpg now for the same highway. So it seems abnormal.
Question:

• is it because the BFGoodrich - Advantage Control is just bad for fuel efficiency?
• Or is it because I should do alignment after installation (Costco only did balancing + rotation)?
• Should/can I ask them to take the tires back and replace with Bridgestone - ECOPIA EP422 PLUS?
• If you have a rec for high mpg and cost-effective tires for Jettas, I'm all ears!

Looking for vac recommendation for a huge retail showroom with mostly super low pile carpet. Something reasonably price as I don’t think i can get the boss to pony up for an $800 vac. Tired of burning through cheap sharks that he gets at costco. Is there maybe a commercial option that you guys recommend?

I have slow leak in my rear tire on my '21 AWD, which has the Hankooks. With less than 10k miles in about 13 months, I'd rather not replace all 4 tires. Is it a bad idea to replace the rear two tires only?
I'm looking at the Michelin Defender LTXs and hope to do it through Costco, but saw that some people say that doesn't work. When I went through the Costco checkout, it said that their policy of replacing all 4 tires doesn't apply to cars with different sizes.

Needed all 5 TPMS replaced on my aging car. Toyota quoted me "just over $1,000 (pretax.")
Done at Costco in 30 minutes for just under $325 out the door...
I cannot imagine life without Costco!

So this frustratingly narrows it down too much but I’m specifically looking for someone who is open to living in Japan.
I am Japanese. golden skin (when stood next to a white person; when standing next to a Japanese person I can’t tell the difference lol) with straight black hair and brown eyes. 5’3” 118lb. Born and raised mostly in Japan.
I prefer someone who is neutral about Japan.
Oh but I’ll move to a place with a good education system and students that care about learning.
Currently located in Seattle.
If you’re still wanting to know more, look below:3

• My MBTI type is INFP and I took thr official one accidentally when I was 17 at the career center. They do say taking it during college is the most accurate! But I have to say because of my job as a teacher I’ve become very comfortable with other people, to the point where I see value in small talk and will initiate it😂 I still have my own world in my head but I don’t get tired around others that aren’t asking me gazzilions of questions every 5 seconds 😌 I would say I’ve become more logical too, if I really know what that is as an F person… but my humor is drier and I laugh at things I didn’t before. I also have a thicker skin than before.

One of the personality traits I have is that im strong willed. But then it doesn’t come off like that I think. I tend to not mind what other people think unless they influence me at work or something. But im also really laid back.

• My Enneagram type is 4w5 and 4w3 at completely the same level. I do love learning, and one of the reasons why I like socializing is because I can learn from people that are different from me. I would say I also have a good chunk of drive and motivation when I commit. Time pressure is helpful 🥲 because i procrastinate too.
  
• Im not religious.
  
• My love languages are Quality Time and acts of service.
  
• no cigarettes, prefer to not drink even with other people around, haven’t done much.
  

What I'm Into

• video games Valheim, divinity, overwatch, cod, CsGo, outward, BOTW… I’m somewhat new to this still!
  
• cooking and grocery shopping I’m not picky at all and I love cooking all kinds of things. If you are picky, I do get sad if I can’t eat or cook together so I’m sorry, that’s a deal breaker. If you don’t like seafood I’m sorry that’s gonna make me sad too😭 I love Costco lol
  
• fishing Crabbing (Dungeness crab) was the beginning. Now I’m trying to catch flounder, salmon, and trout.
  
• gardening I love it so much. I have tomatoes, shiso, spinach, beans, onions and trying to do some okra, eggplant, cucumber, Asian squash, and Okinawa/Hawaiian sweet potatoes someday. I like composting too. I also grew up with chickens, rabbits, hamsters, birds and a dog lol
  

What I'm Looking For

• someone to have a serious but fun goofy life long relationship with. Not to compare with other relationships but I tend to have a fun goofy relationship. The 2 that have lasted are both like that. I am very goofy and silly, serious, and cute at the same time.

One would say that I am submissive seeming, listening quietly and patiently but I also walk away doing the opposite of what I was listening to without saying anything (I’m also very oblivious to this lol) I guess I like to consider what others think or know but if with all the information I have, mine fits my life better I will take my path regardless. He found this humorous. And I appreciated that.
Someone with a huge ego would not be the right person for me. I’m looking for someone who can manage that wisely. Or who bends for me (if I can do that effortlessly).

• I would like a family with kids, preferably with lots of kids 3+ making traditions and goofing around lol kids are not burden, they are dream human beings created mixing you and me! My goal is for me and you to be the role model of what love is, caring and kind… and goofy! This is my number 1 passion in life that has driven me to study psych in college, be a teacher etc. all this because my family that I came from is a very sad place.
  
• I’ve been clinically depressed for a long time before (during child and teenhood, early 20s) Gone to counseling to sort things out. I would say I have come out having better understanding of how feelings work, communication skills and compassion for myself.
  
• I'm looking for long-term commitment. Not open to non-monogamy.
  

If you’re interested, before anything, I’d like to trade pictures. Getting rejected or having to reject someone after getting to know someone is so sad…🥺

This is my 2nd Whole30, but the first one I did (years and years ago) I was in decent health going in.
Now my health has declined over the past three years to where I can barely cook for myself (and the less I cook and the more grab'n'go junk I consume, the shittier I feel... vicious cycle). I'm hoping that as the month progresses I'll have a little more stamina in the kitchen (and in, you know, life). But for now I'm trying to keep things as easy as possible, because I know myself and if I'm too tired to cook, I just won't eat.
My contributions (and a peek into my approximate energy levels for cooking):

• Tuna "salad": a can of tuna, an avocado, and salt and onion powder. Heat a can of green beans in the microwave and serve the tuna on top
• Chicken bone broth. Simmer with a good handful of frozen broccoli, add a spoonful of ghee at the end. I like this in the morning. I'll sometimes eat an apple if I want a little more solid food and fiber
• Yesterday for a meal I ate an RX Bar, an avocado with Tajin, and then just chowed down a whole cucumber 😂 Like... that's where I'm at right now 😂 (\I know RX Bars can be a trigger for some. For me they feel 100% like fuel, not like a candy substitute)*

I'll be going with my partner to Costco tomorrow to stock up and meal prep. I'll probably get some chicken breasts to sous vide in bulk, and frozen veggies for the air fryer. He's also going to make me some stews in his Instapot that I can keep in the freezer and pop into the microwave, and he'll help me chop up veggies for the week. He doesn't live with me, so I can't rely on him for day-to-day help.
I honestly don't mind eating the same thing all the time, but a few more options would be nice! Options for protein and/or fat would be especially helpful (fresh or frozen veggies are pretty easy).
Help! What are your ideas?

Hello Everyone,
I am in need of a pickup truck to replace my 4Runner as I have two jetskis and am looking to get a UTV and need to tow it (roughly 7500lbs max). I am not sure if I should go to a to a 1/2 ton or a 3/4 ton. I have a paid off 4Runner TRD Pro I am selling. I am willing to finance or lease depending on which is better for a new pickup based upon reliability .
Requirements:

• Ride needs to be as comfortable as possible since I will be doing 4 hr+ drives to Moab/Lake Tahoe with a trailer alot. I also live by lakes locally and during the Summer-Fall I constantly will be towing as I am a big fan of offroading and going to the lake. I really am sick of tire roar in my 4Runner and it makes my ears ring on long drives.
• Bed can fit appliances as I am going through a remodel and am sick of renting pickups. I didnt realize how often I needed to use a bed of a truck.
• Least annoying driver's infotainment to use.
• Most reliable of the domestic brands (I used to be a Toyota fan but I drove the new Tundra and hated it both in looks and ride quality so I am ditching them for good)
• Capable of handling a dirt and gravel road (I noticed alot of top trim trucks have 21-22in. rims. which makes me question if you can take them offroad at all).
• Nice enough to daily when I am not driving our SUV (BMW x7). My wife often uses it so I dont want to be stuck without a car and I want to buy something purely for me to use. She absoutely despises pickups and asked me a bunch of times to not get one, but I have learned SUVs just suck for towing large weight, she can drive that and leave me be.
• Least punishing dealership experience for servicing, again Toyota here is awful for this, its so bad I go to a Lexus dealer for oil changes, brake jobs and diff fluids just so I wont have to deal with the insane backlog.
• Durable enough to handle salt on roads without rotting out and capable of being left outside in snow without ruining the paint.
• Must have at least a v8 if its a gasoline engine, my 4Runner has a v6 and its so slow. (I am not opposed to diesel either if they are reliable)

Budget: 100k max
No Brand Loyalty (used to be Toyota but the hybrid v6 utterly put me off and the interior I did not like, especially the tablet.
No EV trucks, my neighbor had a Rivian R1T and already dumped it when he tried towing with it and shared with me his experience, I dont want to learn the same lesson he did. Plus I refuse to own anything without Apple Carplay.
I give zero shits about fuel economy as long as its not under 10mpg and can take costco premium without knocking if its gasoline.
What I have checked out so far.
Toyota Tundra Capstone: Ugly looks, annoying tablet, awful ride that actually made me feel carsick, laggy powertain that doesnt save really much gas, and why white leather in a truck?! The dealer tried to offer me an allocation on a TRD Pro like my 4Runner with 20k markup! I told him to get lost.
GMC Sierra Denali Ultimate: Loved the interior, it rode almost as nice as our SUV, not sure however if its reliable or can go offroad with the 21inch. rims. The supercruise is amazing but they told me 7-9 months with all the options I wanted so I walked out (I just wanted the supercruise) and they tried panic calling me a few times, they STILL are blowing up my phone even a week after hounding me.
Ford F150 Raptor: Tire roar was unbearably loud at highway speeds even worse than my modded 4Runner and the markup was unpleasant. They have even less inventory, just v6 F150s in low trims so I bailed on them too. Again same as the GMC dealers they are phone pests. I didnt even get to try the super duties because they didnt let me drive one and said a v6 F150 is enough (basically trying to force me to buy something on the lot), sorry I want something better If I am willing to pay that.
I am not sure where I should go from here honestly, I am not very knowledgable about trucks, I liked the idea of the 2024 GMC 2500 HD AT4 as well, but all the GMC dealers here are connected and have the most miserable inventories. They have used current gen HD 2500/3500 trucks, but their interiors just dont match up to price they are asking, they remind me of Tahoes in the worst way.
I was thinking that the offroad variants with more sidewall would be a better ride, but I am not sure when it comes to trucks and could use some more info on this. I heard good things about Ram minus their reliability. Where I live pretty much everyone has a top trim GMC Sierra/2550 or Ford SuperDuty as their hauler because they always are towing horse trailers or boats. What would you all reccomend?
Thanks!

It seems like nearly every week, I have at least one stranger telling me their life story and try talking to me…for sometimes a while.
So far the past few weeks:
Had a guy telling me his life story for about an hour at a Discount Tire. I sat down to wait and he just walked over and started talking to me. Began about a car wreck he had and then his neighbors, and the area he grew up in and so on.
Had a older lady in a grocery store start talking to me about her childhood and her husband at the deli in a Kroger. Lasted about 20 minutes.
This isn’t someone telling me their life story, weird none the less. I was leaving work and walking to the parking garage. As I did so a kid goes running by crying and out of everyone walking he stopped me and asked me for directions. So I helped him. I don’t know why he picked me out of a crowd of ~15.
Then today. Had a another old lady at Costco start telling me her entire life story starting from where she was born and how she moved around a lot because her dad was in the military. Then she started talking about her teenage years and how she liked to go to the movies, and then her husband came by and he started talking about where he grew up. Lasted about an hour.
Then probably the most memorable case was at a busy fishing pier. I had a guy stop and talk to me for about 2 hours about his wife who is dying of cancer and his kids. He didn’t even fish, he just talked to me the entire time.
I don’t know why people come up to me out of a crowd and talk to me.
It was really bad when I was working customer service. I’d have people daily try to talk to me for hours while I was working. Even my coworkers made fun of the fact people dumped their life stories onto me or just wanted to talk.
It’s not like I’m talking back. Most of the time I’m super uncomfortable and just say “wow that’s crazy” type responses.
Is this a normal thing?