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Well, I guess this is my final update before I delete my throwaway and go back to my normal shitposting. Before I give the final update I just want to express how invaluable this community has been. We are a diverse set of people who are caught in a very unique situation. It’s been some time since “D-day” and since I questioned every moral and ethical value I have. I am pleased to say that I now have a boyfriend out of this situation. A boyfriend that I can talk to and see whenever I want. A boyfriend that has acknowledged his faults in his previous marriage and is dealing with the consequences of the divorce proceedings. He has been wonderful and respected my decision to remain distanced from his marriage/financial/custody battle. I’ve made him “date me from scratch” and we are getting to know each other on an entirely new level. We even had a fight! I know that might sound like a strange thing to be excited about but it’s really not. He is starting to experience me 24/7 and get the “real me”. Not the beautiful, curated mistress that greets him at the door. I’m not saying this will work, it may very well not, but I’m excited at the prospect of giving this an authentic crack. I’m so reassured to know that my feelings were in fact mutual, and not a fantasy. Thank you again to this community. You’ve given me so much strength xxx
Interim update: Well, after some NC and wonderful advice from my reddit family - we have gone legit! They have both engaged lawyers to start the divorce proceedings and divide the assets etc. They have done an intake for family mediation for custody arrangements. We have a wonderful dinner date booked for Friday and he is coming to spend the weekend (without secrecy!). Turns out all of my “very real” feelings were in fact real. He even told his family and they have cut him off and he is accepting of the consequences of his decisions. I’m still making him work for it. He needs to “date me” as a single man. I will update you all in a month or so. I’m very aware of what I am taking on and so is he. We are ready to give it a go. Thank you for the support x
Original post: It’s happened! DDay has arrived. Advice greatly appreciated.
He (34M) and I (30F) originally met at work approximately four years ago. I was attracted to him instantly and the feeling was certainly mutual. However I quickly found out he had a wife and three kids. Due to this, I wrote him off as a dating prospect. The thought of being the OW went against every moral fibre in my body. I have worked tirelessly to establish a successful career so I was also very conscious of the risk of workplace relationships in general. We slowly got to know each other over a year as just friends. We worked within different teams so whole-of-office work events was when we really got to know each other. One day we had work drinks and we shared a secret kiss. Oh. My. God. The sparks! Everything was so intense.
I have never been the OW before and the intensity of our connection terrified me so I ghosted him after that, unless it was work related, for around two years. Early this year, at another work event, we finally admitted our feelings. He was in the process of changing jobs so the workplace concerns were somewhat eased for me. He ended up lying to his wife about work meetings to come see me at my home 1-2 days a week. We went to concerts and bars together and we even had managed to go away for weekends. I had the most phenomenal, sensual and beautiful 5-6 months of my life. We would both frequently comment about how intense our connection was sexually and emotionally. We would have incredibly deep, raw conversations and absolutely incredible sex. We both became each others “go-to” for everything. He was extremely open about his family life and deteriorating marriage. I also respected that he never spoke poorly about his wife despite the relationship issues.
A few weeks ago he told me that his wife had discovered some messages between us when using his laptop. We decided to limit contact for a bit but she continued to deep dive (which I totally understand - I would as well). Well, she found all of our photos, videos, bank statements and emails about week ago. The fallout from this has been horrendous. She has attempted to contact me on social media (now deactivated) and told colleagues in my workplace of the affair. She has also told his entire family. On the day it happened he called me to tell me and said that we would have to end things so he could work on the marriage. I was very understanding and thanked him for our wonderful memories. He then reached out again shortly after saying that he couldn’t stand not having me in his life and retracted his wishes to end us. I didn’t agree or disagree. I just said that he needs to go sort his life out at home and we can discuss it later.
As of last night he has returned to their home after staying with his brother to discuss everything. While he is there he is basically on lockdown. We can’t communicate at all. He has acknowledged that he has an incredibly difficult decision to make and I have reassured him that if he needs to completely end our relationship I won’t be angry or upset but I will not continue to have him in my life as a friend. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was sad but understanding. I asked that he advise me as soon as possible of the decision so I am not just waiting around. Should I proactively set a timeframe within myself? How long is a fair time to wait? I’m so lost and need to prioritise myself and my happiness as well.
I’ve really tried to be as calm and as reassuring as possible for him as I want his decision to be carefully considered with minimal pressure or influence from me. What he doesn’t see is the devastated mess I am right now. The thought of not having him in my life makes me feel physically sick. I’m scared that if he chooses his wife I will be alone trying to recreate that connection with other people. Not being able to call or text him before bed is destroying me. I slept on the couch last night because the thought of going to bed without a call from him was heartbreaking. I even cried before because I saw his toothbrush when I got out of the shower (lame). I’ve opened up to a few trusting friends about the situation and they have been amazing but I don’t think they truly understand the confusion, pain and frustration.
This is such a unique situation and I am so glad I have found this group ❤️

Hey guys , ill make it short and i hope some of you are able to help me. My brother tries to set a date in which he will stay in the isha yoga center in india. Everytime he sends them an email about a date - which says on their website is not taken and he can take it - they reply 3 weeks later saying this specific date is already taken. He doesnt know what to do and im trying to help him , So maybe any of you knows of any chat , or other ways to contact a member of their staff ( other than phone call - it costs a lot to call there) , who will finally help him to set a final date for his trip there.
TL ; DR : need a way to contact isha yoga center urgently talk to a member about setting dates to a trip there ( not regular phone call)

It was a childish concept of course, until I found the limbless girl in the attic also called Charlotte.

Key facts about me.

1. Born in Chicago.
2. Home schooled.
3. Worked in Argiculture, Logistics, Sales, Software Development, Fisheries and in fish factories.
4. Moved to Denmark in 2002.
5. Moved to the Faroes in 2010.
6. Three kids.
7. Parents were Danish.
8. Mother studied medicine in Denmark. Father was a physicist.

A bit about my time on the Faroes.
I moved here in 2010. I started an immigrant advocacy group, and politicians have called me the Angry American because of it. I have worked in a lot of different fields, studied civil engineering at the local university, and dropped out due to my health. I have owned and ran a bar in the center of the capital, and I am developing software and products for bars in the local market.
AMA that is sfw.

My (28m) mother went out of town a few weeks ago and let me borrow her car while she was away. I live in an area where I don’t need a car, but since I drove her to the airport I kept it and used it to go to the big supermarket and stock up on stuff as well as to the waste center to throw away some bulky wood furniture. When she came back, she started asking questions about sounds her car was now making and sent me pictures of a ding on the back bumper. I didn’t hear any sounds or notice anything wrong with the car, and I definitely didn’t back into anyone or anything. She has a back camera for crying out loud, and it never once got into “dangerous beeping” zone while i had it. Again, I live in an area where I don’t need a car, so the parking is entirely street parking, so it’s just as likely someone bumped into me trying to pull out.
Since she came back, she’s been complaining and accusing me of ruining her car daily. She always complains about my choices and pretty much every conversation ends in her criticizing something. My girlfriend (28f) and I woke up this morning and planned to go to her house for Mother’s Day, which is tomorrow, but she asked us to come over today so I thought she wanted to celebrate it today. She texted me and I didn’t respond because I was in the shower, and not five minutes later she called my girlfriend to complain to her about how I never respond. When I called her back, she complained about how much the car repairs would cost her and when I mentioned we would be going back to our home tonight because my girlfriend has plans early tomorrow and my mom lives about an hour and a half away from where we live. My girlfriend could just not go at all, but my mom would complain about that too.
My mother got angry and told me it wasn’t even worth it to come at all if we wouldn’t be staying the night and celebrating with her tomorrow. I asked if coming one day early was really that important and she said yes and also she’s moving soon so she expected us to help her with that all day today. She then started yelling at me about being a bad son, all this while my brother is on vacation and is missing Mother’s Day entirely because he planned his vacation during my birthday a few days ago and Mother’s Day.
So, Reddit, AITA for trying to celebrate Mother’s Day a day early when all she’s done recently is complain about me and blame me for ruining her car?

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Our media lacks good portrayals of femboys, crossdressers and other kind of gender nonconforming men. They're often reduced to a gimmick horny-bait who's indistinguishable from a woman, a deceiver "tricked you into being gay" character or a hurtful portrayal of a man wearing tacky clothes and bad makeup.
This is why I was delighted reading Senpai wa Otokonoko which covers this topic in an excellent and relatable way. The story centers around Makoto, a boy who's almost indistinguishable from a woman, to the point where a freshman Saki starts to question her heterosexuality before discovering her senpai is a man. (We'll come back to this later)
The manga covers very "down to earth" concepts for anyone questioning their gender or gender expression. In a flashback, we see Makoto as a young boy, being denied pink girlish items due to his gender. In this flashback pink objects have a vibrant color while everything else is dull monochrome before a jump to present day, when Makoto is writing in his pink notebook with an assortment of feminine school. This scene is largely unimportant in grand scheme, but is test up Makoto's past and what he had to go trough in order to be in a place he is right now.
Manga beautifully covers topics like these. We can see Makoto in situations we're surely all aware of, such as having to hide aspects of yourself from your parents. Makoto might be very well known for his fashion at school but he has to stop being feminine before coming back home to his mother. Makoto is bullied at school, played pranks on and insulted. Often called "weird" or "not normal" which becomes a point of insecurity for him. He feels gross sharing his style with very much accepting friends. Those who don't bully him, still unconsciously think of him as less of a man, which is shown by teacher telling him "You can't do it dressed like this" while Makoto volunteers to move something heavy.
Despite not being in quite the same situation I still felt the story on a personal level, especially Makoto's second guessings and feeling of "grossness" he feels while being perceived. It's a refreshingly human story covering feminine man in a climate where femboys are viewed as either eye candy or a rude joke in Japanese media, or not seen at all in western stories (Seriously, can anyone name ONE canonically cis male character wearing feminine fashion? I asked my friends and no one can recall a single one).
But, the story is a romance one and unfortunately we have to talk about it also. The main core of the story revolves around Saki, a freshman student on a mission to become Makoto's first love, and Ryūji, Makoto's childhood friends who might have stronger feelings for him. The idea is a pretty basic one and yet the execution leaves me feeling uncomfortable.
Saki is obsessive, constantly following Makoto and insisting on doing romantic things with him despite being rejected. She often disregards his personal space and inserts herself into his every day activity. Ryūji on the other hand is very controlling and limiting. He initially accuses Saki of trying to hurt Makoto and tries his best to make Saki give up, despite Makoto himself not giving a single fuck about any of it. Not only this theme makes me feel uncomfortable, with Saki being a borderline stalker and Ryūji acting like controlling boyfriend, it's not very deep, with every romantic connection feeling like it's a "crush" without much actual passion above the fact Makoto is drop-dead gorgeous.
I'm myself just finished the 15th chapter out of 100, so I would be disingenuous of me to state my final opinion yet. There's a very probable chance that story becomes either worse or better in either femboy representation or romance and I'm non the wiser to it now, but so far I think the story is absolutely worth reading for the main character's unique experience alone.
I'd also like to be interested in your opinion on the femboy media, as stated, I cannot think of many examples of it which aren't either indie web comics or a lazy character tropes in anime.
I hope I can get more perspective from you on both this manga and other stories I might not be aware of and that you're staying safe during this pride month. Thanks for reading!

I filed a claim back in April. I damaged my hydraulic suspension on my car by accident. I ran over tree branch that I didn’t see. The next day I got a warning on my dash to take my car to the shop and not to drive it. So I called USAA for a tow truck.
It took them a week to get my car towed to some shady car auction company, that is over an hour away from my house. Then it took them 2 weeks give me an estimate for the damages, which was some low ball nonsense. I got a check sent to me in the mail, this is after I told them to tow it to the dealership’s body shop to get fixed. A week later they towed my car to dealership’s showroom. The dealership called me asking why my car was towed there and why were my license plates were gone. I called the dealership a week later asking for a status update on my car and they didn’t have it. I have been calling the claims center daily now, and they never return my calls.
It almost been 3 months now without my car, and they are still charging me fucking $300 a month for what?
I’m starting to think I should report my car stolen, but I have a feeling USAA would give me 20% of my cars kbb value. Just because they can get away with it.
I have been a member for over 20 years, and never had any problems before this mess.

I literally sit beneath eight tiers of scheming ambitious entities that represent primal law suffused with evil. The path from this realm leads to an infinite pit of chaos and evil. Now, tell me again how you and your ilk are the victims in this eternal struggle. - Asmodeus (Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes)
The plane of Nessus is incredibly unique compared to the other planes of Nessus. This plane floats in a swirling crimson void that encompasses them from all directions. The plane itself is flat in its surface, devoid of trees or changes in elevation. The desolate plane, unlike any other plane of Baator, is finite in its size. It stretches 2,500 miles from east to west and 1,100 miles from north to south. The flatness of the plane leaves no place for any creature to hide.
A system of crisscrossing gorge and canyons marks the only true changes in elevation in the plane. In these gorges, canyons, and the network of caves that connect them, live the billions of devils of Nessus. These structures have an infinite amount of space even given the finite nature of the plane. These gorges and canyons often cross, forming towering plateaus.
The canyons and gorges are each distinct and travel to specific locations. However, they all look exactly alike. More importantly, most of these canyons are missing from most maps of the plane. A few maps that were drawn by suicidal or brave adventurers can be found but tend to be extremely pricey. A map of a square mile section of Nessus can easily cost as much as a small castle.
A few of these canyons have bridges that span them. These few bridges are heavily guarded by Asmodeus's elite guards and a host of traps. Rare unguarded bridges are death traps that will inevitably break and send any crosser to their death. The shallowest canyon is 200 feet deep, and the remaining canyons and gorges are usually deeper. Devils in Nessus who cannot fly are encouraged to stick close to the caves and crevasses. In emergency situations, the devils must climb the walls using some sparse handholds or frayed ropes. It is not uncommon for devils to fall to their deaths as a result.
Directions in Baator are unlike the directions of the Material Plane. The strange nature of these planes makes the standard compass rose useless. Most Archdukes simply established the standard compass as a means of travel and mapping for their own planes, arbitrarily assigning a point as north. Asmodeus however, decrees that his own castle should be the northern most point despite its central location on the plane. The strange decree further complicates maps of Nessus making navigating the plane even harder.

DISCOVERY

Nessus was the first layer of Baator to be created and was the original plane of Hell to be created when the Gods of Celestia signed the Pact Primeval. The plane was granted to Asmodeus and his ilk by the Gods so they would not have to witness the punishment rendered to mortal souls. On the plane, the devils first began their plans to corrupt mortals. It was on this original plane that these devils, still somewhat angelic in nature, worked with the Ancient Baatorians to administer their justice. The plane, bleak and barren, was slowly built up and expanded into a tiered infinite plane. The plane was rapidly built into a major factory for manufacturing more devils and harvesting divine energy from the mortal souls that the devils corrupted. The only brief delay in construction of the plane came during a short, but vicious, war between Mephistopheles, the former right hand of Asmodeus, and the Arch-Devil. After the war ended, the construction began anew and the two made amends.
When the Gods discovered that Asmodeus and his devils were luring mortals into disobedience and corruption, they once again put Asmodeus on trial. When the trial proved useless and Asmodeus was acquitted of the charges, the Gods were furious. They threw the devil back to Baator, sending him hurling from the tip of Celestia.
When Asmodeus crashed into Baator, the force of the impact tore a stretch of the initial plane and killed many of the plane's original inhabitants and mutilated many of the others who were not powerful enough to withstand the impact. As the devil continued to fall with his stretch of the original Baatorian plane, the devil carved new planes. Eight new planes formed before the devil and the plane he had rent from the original stopped falling. Asmodeus continued to fall deep into the plane till he came to rest under a massive pile of rubble, bleeding and badly hurt, in the deepest part of Nessus, which came to be known as the Pit.
When the devil eventually recovered, he made this deepest, finite plane his home as a reminder of his fall. From Nessus, the Arch-Devil slowly retook control of the remainder of Baator and resumed his lawful duties.
The creation of the plane of Nessus was not known to the mortal races for millennium. Asmodeus is a jealous guard of his plane and entrance to Nessus requires a letter of permission from the Arch-Devil himself. The first documentation of the plane of Nessus for the Prime Material Plane comes from the philosopher, Philogestes. Philogestes sold his own soul to Asmodeus for the opportunity to document information about Baator. Though, he was given permission to observe and record details about the plane of Nessus, Philogestes could not detail everything. Much of Nessus remains a mystery to those who dwell on the Material Plane.

Travel

The easiest way to travel to Nessus is to be invited by the Arch-Devil onto the plane. Very few mortals have ever received this privilege.
For those who have not received a personal invitation, the only way to enter the plane would be through the plane prior to it, Cania. From Cania, adventurers could sail along the River Styx into Nessus. This path is extremely perilous. For starters, the river is incredibly difficult to navigate. Directions in the Nine Hells are confusing. It is just as likely that sailing along the river could lead to Maladomini. Additionally, the river’s currents are unpredictable, forming whirlpools, eddies, and undertows that can challenge even the most experienced sailors. Moreover, the Styx is guarded by roaming bands of devils as well as undead which are drawn to any sources of life. The river is also known to create illusions and mirages which can mislead travelers. It would be advisable to hire a devil in Cania to act as a guide on the waters.

THE LOCALS

Nessus is different from the other layers of Baator because it has a much higher proportion of the greater devils compared with the lesser devils. The most common kind of devil that is found on Nessus is the pit fiend, though horned devils are a close second. In addition to devils, a few other creatures traverse the planes of Nessus. While hellhounds are a common beast in Nessus, a special breed of hellhound known as the Nessian hellhound roams the plane. These are far more vicious and deadly than the original hellhound. The Nessian hell-hounds form packs with the regular hellhounds and hunt the plane for intruders or lesser devils. There are a few other fiendish beasts that are not devils on Nessus, but there are no mortals who live here.
Asmodeus, a tall, red-skinned devil, with dark horns and elegant clothing is the Lord of Nessus. Known as the Dark One, the Lord of Lies, and the Prince of Evil, Asmodeus is the Arch-Devil of Baator. He rules the plane with an iron fist of law and conducts himself in a soft-spoken, articulate, and ruthlessly logically. Those who look closely at the Arch-Devil will notice that though the devil holds himself with poise and elegance, he is covered in injuries that have not healed. These injuries were sustained by Asmodeus when he was thrown from Celestia. Asmodeus carries himself in public as though the injuries no longer affect him, however they still hurt tremendously, and Asmodeus focuses much of his energy on recovering from the injuries.
Asmodeus is the undisputed master of Baator and exercises complete control over the plane. The Arch-Devil can alter any of the planes at will and can also alter the forms of any of the other Archdukes of Baator. In some cases, he can also kill the others, which causes some of the Archdukes to fear him greatly. With his dominance over Baator, Asmodeus spends much of his time focused on the conquest of other planes, especially the Prime Material Plane and Celestia. Asmodeus receives the energy from any soul collected by any devil or Duke of Baator. For the time being, He spends his time using the energy to heal his own wounds. Once his wounds have healed, Asmodeus intends to use the collected Divine Energy to forge a temporary truce with the Demons and use the truce to destroy the forces of Good once and for all.
Asmodeus is a schemer in every sense. The devil is a smooth talker who only engages with non-devils to corrupt them. One example of such a corruption is the corruption of Zariel, a celestial, into the once Archduke of Avernus. Asmodeus is one of the few devils to never father any Cambion, considering himself far superior to any such creature. A few tieflings also receive the blessing of Asmodeus. These tieflings are far more intelligent than any other and are given a superior mastery over fire. These tieflings are resistant to flames from any creature except those commanded directly by Asmodeus.
In addition to his unsurpassed intellect and charm, Asmodeus is an unmatched combatant, well-versed in both magic and weapon-craft. Asmodeus earned his fame when prior to the creation of Baator, the then-angel was ambushed by a demon invasion without his troops. The Gods sent an army of angels to defend the invasion, believing Asmodeus to have been overwhelmed. The angels arrived too late, however. Instead of finding an army of demons, the angels found that Asmodeus kept the invasion at bay and even pushed the defense into an offense into the Abyss, bolstered by their reinforcement. Though the Archdevil has not fought at the front lines of the Blood Wars, his combat prowess has not decreased.
Once a year, the Arch-Devil holds a feast at his palace in Nessus's Pit, Malsheem. To this feast, the Arch-Devil invites the other Archdukes, devils who have earned a seat of honor, and a few select mortals that have earned his respect or interest (for better or worse). The feast is an enormous affair, and the only time of the year when the pathway to the palace becomes available for creatures other than the Dukes of Nessus to traverse, though it is still heavily guarded to prevent intruders from reaching the palace. The purpose of the Feast is to serve to touch base with the dukes to ensure that Asmodeus's plans are going according to plan, to ensure Hell's superiority in the Blood War, reward devils who have performed exceptionally enough to gain the Lord of the Nine's attention, and to contract mortals who may be useful to himself. These feast feature extravagant performances, a plethora of delicious food and drink, and as much vice as any being could desire.
Adramalech is the right-hand of Asmodeus and serves as the Arch-Devil’s chancellor. His preferred form is that of an elderly human man with a gray beard. His eyes change color to reflect his mood, green when he’s happy and orange when upset and black all other times. In this form, the only features to identify him as a devil are two small, crimson horns that protrude from his head and a single forked tail. He prefers to dress in hues of green and purple.
This devil is tasked with maintaining all records regarding the Nine Hells. In this role, he constantly updates the number of souls collected, the various contracts that exist between devils and mortals, and presides over the court of Devils which settle disputes regarding contracts. Adramalech also tracks every torment caused to devils and the names and locations of any devils not in the Nine Hells. Somehow, despite this busy schedule, Adramalech also finds time to maintain an extensive spy network among the pit fiends which collect information. Adramalech stores this information and the true names of all devils in a tome he calls “The Infernal Record” which is colloquially known to mortals as the “Book of Fire”. Adramalech finds stress relief by torturing the souls of mortals in an extensive dungeon network which lies below Fortress Nessus. He especially despises Humans and Elves and takes special joy in causing them pain.
Adramalech has full authority to give orders to devils. This power was given to Adramalech because he is the only devil in the Nine Hells who shows no desire to usurp the Asmodeus. As a notably weak devil, Adramalech understands that even if he were to somehow become an Arch-Duke or Arch-Devil he would be easily overthrown. Instead, he enjoys the power and control he wields over the Nine Hells from the safety of Asmodeus’s right hand. Adramalech enjoys a small cult of followers in the Prime Material Plane who kidnap and sacrifice human and elf children to him. Because Adramalech is so physically weak, he is constantly guarded by a legion of Pit Fiends.
Phongor is the left-hand of Asmodeus and a rival of Adramalech. This devil usually resembles a human male with pink skin and eyes which glitter even in the shadows. He has oily black hair, two small twisting black horns, and red hooves for feet with a similarly colored tail.
Phongor serves as Asmodeus’s Chief Inquisitor. It is his duty to uncover secrets or to find information that Asmodeus wishes to find. Phongor is considered the most feared devil in Baator after Asmodeus because of his penchant for torture, his prowess in combat with a wickedly sharp whip, and his ability to sniff out secrets.
Phongor’s rivalry with Adramalech is because he knows that the Record Keeper does not know his true name. Adramalech frequently sends spies to try to find Phongor’s true name as it is the only one, he does not know. In response, Phongor sniffs out these spies and viciously kills them because he knows that his secret allows him to maintain an even position of power in Nessus with the Chancellor. His prowess at finding information for Asmodeus means that he holds equal value currently for the Arch-Devil. Phongor spends much of his time ensuring that Asmodeus is well informed regarding the events of every plane. To do so, he has enlisted some of Adramalech’s spies to work for him and tortures information out of other creatures as he needs.
While Adramalech and Phongor serve as Asmodeus’s right and left-hand respectively, his favorite servant is his executioner, Alastor the Grim. A horrifically scarred and broken winged pit fiend, Alastor is considered the strongest of the Pit Fiends. Rumored to be one of the first devils born from Asmodeus’s blood, Alastor the Grim does not speak or act independently of his master. He always accompanies the Arch-Devil acting as a bodyguard and as the executioner for whomever displeases Asmodeus. It is a common belief that if the Nine Hells were destroyed and Asmodeus could only save one creature other than himself, he would choose Alastor the Grim. Alastor the Grim also commands the personal armies of Asmodeus.
There are always six generals in Nessus for Asmodeus’s armies. These generals are constantly changing as the devils vie for power and control.

NOTABLE LOCATIONS

There are two types of notable locations on the plane of Nessus: geographical features and infernal constructions.
The first major geographical feature of Nessus is the river Styx, which enters Nessus through a hidden (and heavily guarded) location from Cania. The river reaches its lowest point in Nessus in a lake known as the “Forgotten Lake”. From here, it sinks into the plain and drips into Gehenna (an outer plane not connected to the Nine Hells).
The Forgotten Lake is rumored to be the place that beautiful memories go to die. When mortal souls are first brough to the Nine Hells, their memories are stripped from them and sent here. Here, the thoughts are broken down and destroyed. Should a creature look into the waters, they will see beautiful memories that slowly corrupt into fiendish nightmares.
Several other rivers also off shoot from the river Styx to fill the rest of Nessus. One of these, indistinguishable from the others, is the river Lethe whose waters are known to cause complete memory loss.
Several notable gorges are also spread throughout the plane. Reaper’s Canyon is Nessus’s canyon of death. Here, no injuries heal, and death finds creatures twice as quickly as elsewhere. Sicknesses and disease are far more powerful. Another canyon is known as Hell’s Lips and is the epitome of gluttony. Mortals that find themselves here may become overcome with insatiable thirst and hunger. One fissure that travels from north to south on the plane is “The Nest”, which houses hundreds of nests for fiendish wasps.
The most noticeable geographic location in Nessus is the large winding canyon that sinks deeper and deeper into the plane, The Serpent’s Pass. This canyon, carved from Asmodeus’s fall, carves to the deepest point of Nessus, which in unknown even to most devils.
At the center, and northern most point, of the plane is a large pit which houses the city of Malsheem. Built from stone and Baatorian green steel, the city stretches in multiple layers along the gorge. Over time, the ever-expanding city has slowly begun to form tunnels into the walls and floor of the pit. This large structure, designed by Asmodeus, is home to millions of devils, perhaps the strongest in the nine hells. Here, Asmodeus keeps his personal army, waiting to conquer the planes with it. At the center of the city of Malsheem is the Fortress Nessus.
Fortress Nessus sits at the deepest point of the Serpent’s Coil but rises far above the rest of the plane. Decadent and bleak, the fortress seems to be a failed recreation of the home of the Gods. Here, Asmodeus resides and rules. The fortress has not been mapped previously and seems uninhabited at all times of the day. Despite its appearance, the fortress is teeming with devils and dangers. Below the fortress is an extensive dungeon which houses the souls of humans and elves for Adramalech to torture. Fortress Nessus also houses the Infernal Records.
The last location of note for Nessus is Tabjari, which lies in Reaper Canyon. Tabjari is a copper citadel which serves as the library, vault, and armory for Asmodeus. Tabjari is nearly impossible to enter. Its entrance is a highly guarded secret. The entire structure is heavily guarded by traps, magic, and devils. The security of Tabjari is even greater than the security in Fortress Nessus because it houses Asmodeus’s greatest treasure, one of the original copies of the Pact Primeval.

MYSTERIES

There are many mysteries with the plane of Nessus for the curious adventurer to find, though at great personal risk. Many of these mysteries remain because adventurers who chose to explore the plane did not return.
The first great mystery of Nessus is how to enter the plane. Though there is an entrance via the river Styx, this passage would require that adventurers travel through the other 8 planes of Baator to find their way into Nessus. Still, this river entrance is hidden and extremely well-guarded. Finding and mapping this location would make one rich beyond definition.
Another great mystery of Nessus comes from a rumor that Asmodeus is still greatly weakened by his wounds. A common rumor within the Outer Planes is that Asmodeus’s true form lies still broken and beaten within Fortress Nessus. Many of the other Archdukes and the Demon Princes of the Abyss spend a significant amount of time trying to find out if the rumor is true (and the location of Asmodeus’s true form) with the hopes of conquering the 9 hells.
The fortress Nessus hold many other secrets, such as information about the weaknesses of the Archdukes, that could hold much value for any being that could find them.
Tabjari holds one of the original copies of the Pact Primeval, which provides the place around it with enormous power. In this place, magic is said to achieve feats that would be otherwise impossible. For this reason, its location is deeply sought. Additionally, the copy itself provides significant strength to the devils. If it were to be stolen, it would greatly turn the tide of the Blood War in favor of the Abyss.

SURVIVAL

Surviving Nessus is horrendously difficult for those that have not been personally invited by Asmodeus. Travelers should equip themselves with means of surviving some of the hottest temperatures in the planes, second perhaps only to the plane of fire. Likewise, they should equip themselves to survive frigid temperatures that exist in some of the gorges. Because Nessus is finite, it can be more easily mapped than any other planes. Perhaps a daring adventuring group would be able to find some enemy of Asmodeus who has a map of the plane. Another duke of the nine hells may have such a map and forming a pact with one may be wise for finding a way through Nessus without Asmodeus’s permission. If not, the safest way to traverse the plane would be to make some pact with the Arch-Devil.
For those who attempt to sneak onto Nessus, stealth is the best option. The plane teems with a seemingly infinite number of the deadliest devils in the nine hells. Direct confrontation with a small group will only draw more of them towards a party. Additionally, it would be wise to find some way to carry provision onto the plane because food is sparse. Nessus is also covered in a dense fog of noxious fumes which make breathing difficult. Adventurers should account for this trait and find some way to filter their breathing as needed.

Toolkit

Nessian Hell-Hound
Large fiend, neutral evil
Armor Class: 17 (natural armor)
Hit Points: 129 (13d10 + 52)
Speed: 50ft., fly 50ft.

CR: 10 (5,900 XP)

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
[+6]	[+3]	[+5]	[-3]	[+1]	[+0]

Saving Throws: DEX +6, CON +8 Skills: Perception +4, Stealth +6 Damage Resistances: Cold, Fire Damage Immunities: Poison Damage Vulnerabilities: Radiant Condition Immunities: Poisoned, Sleep Senses: Darkvision 60ft., passive Perception 14 Languages: Infernal, Common
Traits
Devils Sight. Magical darkness does not impede the hell hound.
Actions
Multiattack. The hell hound makes two attacks: one with its bite and one with its claws.
Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one creature. Hit: 17 (2d10 + 6) piercing damage.
Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 13 (2d6 + 6) slashing damage.
Hellfire Breath: (Recharges 5-6). The Nessian Hell-Hound unleashes a 10 ft cone of fire that deals 40 (9d8) fire damage. Creatures caught in the cone must make a DC17 dex save, taking half damage on a successful save.
With this, I have finally finished an entry for each of the Nine Hells for the Atlas project. I started writing about the Nine Hells in 2018, five years ago. After 4 years of writing and rewriting this article, it’s finally done which is a weird feeling. Nessus was especially hard to write about because I wanted it to feel dangerous, mysterious, and hard to understand. Hopefully, this is useful to some people. Moving forward, I’m planning to update the older entries with better information.
Check out my previous entry for the Atlas of the Planes project: Cania
Write Your Own Atlas Entry!

Hey guys. Here is a continuation of what I was writing. Sorry for the formatting, just typing it out in my notes and copy and pasting here.
Our story begins with our friend Jackie Chan and soon to be an unknowingly hero of the people as he journeys through a Bavarian jungle towing with him a group of people, a scholar and exhibitionists who would seek out a treasure to gain fame and attention from the world, either in academia or media attention, to announce to the world and peers that they broke through the many traps that the castle says to contain. Trudging through this weary jungle comes along the castle they seek, our friend Jackie, a lean individual, unassuming and gentle hearted who is deceptively athletic and studies and practices martial arts, continues his journey into the castle. "The mad king Ludwig would invite many guest into the castle but would fall victim to many of its deadly traps" says the scholar "Rude..." an exhibitionist joins in saying. "That's why his name was not Lovable Ludwig or good neighbor of Bavaria - Huh, stand back..." says Jackie. Jackie stops dead in his tracks with his group to follow, well enough light pours into the castle that would lead unbeknownst treasure seekers to rummage the castle recklessly to fall victim to its many traps, with nothing a stir and everything quiet, Jackie finds this to be too eerie and finds in their way a wire, though invisible to those who enter the castle, not invisible to Jackie as his fine tuned senses crafted by his self-discipline and with a sensible sharp mind are at work, lowers himself with aerosol can in hand and makes visible the invisible wire. "What are the odds that these traps still-..." remarks one of the men. Jackie motions over to the exhibitionist and grabbed his hat to drop on the wire, suddenly two walls collide into each other this time only in succeeding in killing a hat. Loud clicking noises and rumblings of the walls suggest that the mechanism for the trap is resetting and moments later the two walls come apart leaving the invisible wire intact waiting for its next victim. The exhibitionist stares in disbelief by the sudden closing and opening wall of death and has his jaw left gaped opened by his astonishment that he nearly just died was closed by Jackie and motions forward leaving an air of unspoken reason that following Jackie's lead may keep them alive. Following hallways left and right leading to a room with pictographs and decorations of stone statues, against the far wall has a human skull that Jackie handles to find a handle that releases the door. Looks of triumph that he beat the castles traps and looks of shock and excitement on the group, Jackie has found the treasure room. As the door rises revealing the treasure room, light pours into the room and Jackie leads forward to light torches along the wall and once was a dimly lit room is now glowing brilliantly with gold, gold coins, golden assortments from goblets to swords, gems and expensive stones covering the floor and piled high. "Ludwig's lost treasure..." remarks the scholar. "I'm sure that the booty is booby-trapped so don't-...." begins Jackie to everyone. With blind enthusiasm, the would be still alive exhibitionist runs towards the treasure picking up a golden sword hilted in rubies, sapphires and emeralds, then the room and door begin to convulse violently, another trap! As quickly as the room begins to rumble and the door jerks downward threatening to close them inside, Jackie kicks up a spear into the air and with a spin through the air, kicks it toward the closing door jamming it open as Jackie shouts "Go! Go! Go!". Motioning everyone out, everyone in a panic stricken run, all begin towards the door until Jackie finds himself running into the door when the spear snaps finding himself alone as the group escaped. Moments later an arrow shoots across Jackie's face and launches himself backwards as arrows after arrows begin ejecting themselves from the walls that would kill any person or persons who gets this far; yelping out the words "bad day! bad day! bad day!" Staggering backwards and leaping into the air, above these arrows, ducking more, spinning mid jump over treasures, in a leap lands over a golden shield emblazoned with some chicken scratch, begins to deflect arrows left and right cornering Jackie. Jackie in danger of never being seen again, looks up, a hole in the wall, Jackie wall jumps into a sliding tunnel and in a panic places the shield under himself to ride the shield down the trail and finally bursting out of the castle and within view the group is spotted to have also exited the castle, with Jackie landing and coming to a stop on the shield sliding on the ground, "Snowboarding works better with snow" says Jackie, relieved for everyone to have made it out alive. From a distance, strange men observing Jackie with binoculars, the seemingly men to appear to be the leaders issuing an order to their men. "Follow him..." "Follow him..."
Jackie returns from his trip to Bavaria to his home in San Francisco. Jackie resides in his uncle's two story antique shop, "Uncle's Rare Finds". In his room we carry on as Jackie blow by blow, ebbs and flows, as he strikes a dummy. In his studio room for his training displays a number of photographs, taken at events or jobs he was hired on to take people on exhibitions, there in all his photographs is a man who never has trouble finding his smile in all of them either as a leader or competitor. Jackie with another day of training in, is summoned by his uncle with the clattering of a bell. Jackie's uncle is a fairly old man, in his signature bright yellow vest, glasses, gray standing hair and his garlic and mung bean smell, that originates by his consumption of garlic and mung beans that he always believes is good for you. From the second story calls out to his uncle, "What is it Uncle?". "Come, give Uncle a hug", Jackie jumps over the railing and effortlessly twist in mid air to land and give uncle a hug, SMACK, Jackie was just struck over the head by Uncle's strong fingers that he uses to scold. "Ow!" Jackie yelps. "You did not make coffee this morning, coffee is the only thing keeping Uncle's ancient heart beating, you want dead uncle? No? Then you make coffee" "Ok" replies Jackie "One more thing" uncle begins again, "You received phone call from the University, they want you to translate parchments" "Ok" replies Jackie "One more thing" Uncle continues before Jackie begins his work, Uncle examines the newly brought in golden shield, talking out loud with his thoughts of the ancient chicken scratch on the shield with an odd encrusted pewter center with a rooster emblazoned on it, "I cannot translate inscriptions, very old writing, I must reference my journals." "Ok" replies Jackie "One more thing" Uncle continues "This is Jade, your niece, she will live with you for a year? Ok?" Jackie with no second thought on his list of instructions from Uncle, "ok" Taken back, Jackie exclaims "I have a niece?" Now discovering the child in plain view by the entrance as she wears a scowl under her black hair that spikes downwards with her arms folded. Uncle explains, "Your cousin Shin's girl from Hong Kong, Jade is not behaving well there, doing poorly in school, your cousin thinks she will do better with you" "Nobody asked me" exclaims Jackie. "Did not want to bother you" Uncle coolly states, then sends Jackie to tackle his new instructions. Jackie nervously chuckles, "Hello, I am Jackie". Jade, stiff as a statue, continues her scowling and looks with contempt for being in this dibilated antique shop. "No English?" Jackie tries another greeting, "Ne Ho Ma-...." Three men enters the shop. Jackie welcomes the new customers and begins exercising his retail sales abilities, as Jackie also helps Uncle in his Rare Finds shop as a salesman. "You're Jackie Chan, the archeologist?" Asks one of the three men. "Oh, I dabble in the study of past civilizations" replies Jackie. "Well, we are aware that you recently dabbled a shield from a Bavarian Castle, our extremely wealthy employer is interested in purchasing the shield"
Jackie seeing this is not the regular customer Uncle's Rare Finds usually receives, wearing a 70's style white suit, all red blazing combed back slick hair and seems to be having trouble clearing his sinuses and seems a bit on edge. His two companions, just as unremarkable and out of the ordinary among usual customers, one quite tall and burly, sporting a wrinkled black jacket, red tie and white shirt with dress shoes that could do with some polishing, Jackie faintly smells alcohol from where he stood and the other, short but stands tall with his bright orange sunglasses and leather coat suggest he may kick you up side along the head at the wrong moment.
Jackie with great suspicions, "I'm sorry, I have already donated that piece to the university" "Really...?" The man in red and white nods to the others behind him to send a small message, pokes out his wild swinging hand and pokes out a finger to drive an antique to the floor but unable to shoot straight misses with a hurried "whoops", tries again, sending two antiques rolling to the floor! Jackie thoroughly shocked, dives across the floor coming to a roll right under the falling antiques and catches them on his back - the shorter of the men with a smirk on his face sends flying an antique, but in a flash Jackie sends off a cushion from a nearby seat, throwing the two in hand and with a bounce with the cushion, Jackie runs forward to catch all three antiques in a snap, antiques in hand, puts them down safely and takes a seat with a smile. Looks of horror and awestruck coves over the three, as well as Jade, whose left speechless of his Uncle's ability, just stood standing in place. "It would be in your family's best interest to undonate the shield, Mr. Chan... places hand over Jades head by this time tomorrow", the three exit without another word. Uncle walks in "did they buy anything?" "No" Jackie answers "You are a terrible salesman!" "Watch the girl and hide the shield" Jackie instructs. "Where am I going to hide a big shield? sputters on where did I put the shield?" Uncle continues on as Jackie exited to follow the men and unknown to Uncle, so did Jade.
Jackie exiting Uncle's Rare Finds finding the vehicle leaving, quick and light on his feet, leaps for the fire escape of the building, leaping gracefully and the mastery of his body to do so, clambers onto balconies and shop signs onto a roof catching up to the vehicle. Running along side the vehicle, Jackie peers in, the man in red and white is hunched over and takes a great deep inhale, crushed powder in forms of lines on a plate is visible to Jackie. The wrinkled out suit man is also clambering with something in hand, Jackie is catching up as the vehicle comes to a stop, running to the ledge, down gutter pipes, SNAP, the pipes snatch free from the wall sending Jackie down BANG. Wrinkled out suit man chokes on the contents of his flask and sputters, finding his breath and the man in red and white being seen hiding his plate and all three wordless, Jackie continues innocently, "That will buff right out" pointing at the ding he has caused as if it's the only problem there. Angry, the gas petal is floored with Jackie and gutter still on top, coming onto and off side walks sending people wildly running in all directions to come to a sudden stop at a fenced playground. The three exit to introduce themselves more physically to Jackie, launches themselves at him. Jackie pulls back from attack, dishes one of his own with the gutter sending them away, Jackie jumps and rolls into the sunroof of the window, the men, SLAMMED by the doors that Jackie kicks open, ejects himself from the vehicle, musters up his strength and leaps over the fench, rolls to a stop, sitting upright begins to mock the men, "Nya Nya!" The three men remain to be unknown to Jackie, had not even realized they were watching him in Bavaria nor did he know that they're extremely wealthy employer has equipped them with military grade electric rods, these men were The Enforcers. The Enforcers leap forward with their electrified rods, melting the fence and sending Jackie backwards. As agile Jackie is, he swerves, ducks, rotates and spins, comes to a semi truck and takes the windshield wipers with him, coming to a landing with a flourish of the wipers in a stance that says I'm ready. With a chuckle of the Enforcers, Tap! Tap! Jackie has struck two over the hands, disarming them and kicked another away. Running off to the still occupied playground, Jackie yells out "No more playtime, Go! Go!". Children running and the enforcers come around, on the right slow going, Jackie kicks a tether ball right around to the man in the wrinkled out suit face and almost lazily falls over. Jackie looks up and finds another lunging from a nearby jungle gym, Jackie kicks and with a loud CRACK, finding a broken nose "that's where I put my drugs!". The third, short yet strong, comes to spare with Jackie, jabbing in and out, showing signs that he learned martial arts is swept backwards onto a rocking horse and sits down dazed and defeated. The other two continues still, after Jackie, they are led to a swing set, "Oh hey! - what the --" Jackie has tangled them together in the swings, stuck together now Jackie jumps onto a jungle gym with continually readiness. "Wow!" Says one "Let's get out of here" says another. The enforcers make a run for it, watching them run, leaps down to discover Jade has followed him, taken aback, "Jade?" We have another man appear from behind and with a weapon that released a gas, renders Jackie unconscious.
"Now he's coming too" remarks the men inside the van Jackie finds himself in, is saying. Jackie opens his eyes, "Aaahhh! Agustus Black!" Jackie opens his eyes and finds a familiar face with the others left in confusion, "hmmm?" Jackie continues "What are you doing here? Ow, what am I doing here?" "I'm afraid its official business, Jackie. Replies Black. "Where have you been? I don't hear from you for six years, BOOM, you're in San Francisco saving me from those thugs" "Jackie, I knocked you out" explains Black. Jackie outraged, the van stops to a screech, Jackie exits. "Why did you do that?" Jackie continues. "Jackie--" Black beckons "I thought we were friends" "We are, Jackie." Replies Black. "I'm sorry but this location must be kept a secret. "Oh, yes, I can see this is some very special garbage, maybe I will see you in another six years" "Jackie--" Black stammers Excuse me, while I call a cab" "Jackie--" Black calls out. Jackie turns to a lone telephone booth amongst the garbage. Enters. Jackie dials, "Oh?" With a sudden jerk, the telephone booth is swallowed by the wall and in a rush Jackie screaming for dear life, the booth is fast tracked along a corridor to a halt and let's out a sigh of relief but without warning it drops. Screaming once again trying to keep himself centered, DING! the booth landed, doors open with Jackie plopping out. "Tried to warn you" Black states. "How did you get down here?" "The stairs... Follow me." "Jackie, Welcome to Section 13." Leading Jackie in, Black shows him around. "I thought you were with interpol" "Even with them I was shepherding this agency in secret" answers Black. "You're a spy?... are they spies too?" "Law Enforcement, Jackie, Elite Special Forces." "So why give me the big tour?" Asks Jackie. "We are aware you've recently acquired an artifact in Bavaria" explains Black. "Why does everyone know that?" Jackie continues, "You are the second one to ask about the shield today" "I was afraid of that" Black leads Jackie to a terminal. "Secrion 13 was founded to investigate large scale international crimes - crimes which often can be traced back to The Dark Hand, a criminal syndicate. The Dark Hand has connections to nearly all criminal activity and their leader is this man pulls up image of a man in striking white long blonde hair that is tied back in a nice Italian suit Valmont. Today you met his cronies that Valmont sends on personal errands around town. Finn, who is Irish and believes disco will never die, another only known as Ratso then there is Chow, as you seen, Chow has some martial arts training. The three known as the enforcers but won't think twice to push over an elderly lady if it meant completing their orders.

I recently bought a new to me home (built 1949) that is a fixer upper. What I didn’t realize is that it would be a money pit.
So what started out as an issue with the kitchen sink waste pipe replacement morphed into repairing the plumbing entire house and I still have more to do.
What needed to be done ( forgive me if I get the language wrong):
• Waste pipe from kitchen sink had to be replaced. Years of Drano use from pushing everything into the garbage disposal caused the cast iron pipe to fail. Lots of pitting on the exterior of the pipe. This pipe had polka dots. I’d never seen anything like this before.
• replace water heater (40 gal BW). The previous water heater was ~9 yrs old and had had some repairs. This was the one thing I knew had to be replaced so was prepared to spend about $1200 here.
• install water softener not having this seemed to be the root cause of a lot of my problems
• replace shutoff valves on main lines under bathroom sink, toilet, kitchen sink, washer, utility sink, water line to fridge
• replaced the exterior frost free sill faucets. I learned the hard way these had failed by having first use this spring flood the basement
• replace the main shutoff valve to my home
• I had cast iron, PVC, copper, and galvanized pipe in my home. Because the home at one time had a beauty parlor in the basement, had a rudimentary shower that no longer worked, and was party central complete with a bar sink with taps that no longer worked. There were pipes all over the place. Now only copper and PVC
• the home has a second kitchen in basement and the sink will be reused as my utility sink
• bathroom fixtures in bathroom shower were replaced
All of this cost $19K
I still have to get the following done:
• replace bath sink faucet ($650)
• replace toilet ($1200) Kohler comfort heigh elongated seat will be used but for this. I have not selected which model of toilet but would like a bidet seat I think. I need to do some more reading about those. I would prefer to have a skirted toilet so that it’s easier to clean but need some advice here.
• replace kitchen faucet ($745)
All faucets are Wolverine brass except for the utility sink that will end up being whatever 6” center faucet I can find. I’m looking at a Union brass model (https://www.chicagofaucetshoppe.com/Union-Brass-174-360H-p/ub-360h.htm).
• move laundry ($4800) the work for this will involve:

• Cap off old water lines for laundry in basement.
  
  • Furnish and install new 2" pvc piping from pt floor laundry room to basement.
  • Furnish and install new 1/2" water line from basement to new location of laundry room.
  • Furnish and install new gas line from basement to laundry room.
  • Furnish and install new flex laundry hose from upstairs to exit outside through brick. (I need more info on this before I agree to having this done.
  • Furnish and install new clear hose from condensate pump to old stand pipe in basement. (Not part of laundry but it’s currently draining into sink and needs to be moved)

So are costs out of line?
I ended up going with this company because I received no response from one other I called. The third had no availability to come out to do an inspection and bid the work. I called first week in April and they could not come until late May.
I am in IL near the Quad cities at IA border.

Thanks to "Sithking Zero" on the NoP Discord for editing help.
Memory transcription subject: Tellek , Farmer
Date [standardized human time]: January 19th, 2137
Has it really come to this, am I really this desperate?
I was, for all intents and purposes, broke. The last harvest had been terrible, in addition to the one before that, which was practically a deathblow for my new farmstead. The debts and missed payments had started to pile up, and I was one more bad harvest away from going completely bankrupt.
Like so many farmers before me, I was becoming another victim of the 5 harvest curse.
I told you that starting a new farm was a bad idea.
What was I supposed to do, brain, keep working in the office until I died?
I sat on my chair, surrounded by other farmers who were presumably in similar states of desperation, the room we were in akin to the schoolrooms I had been in as a pup; a desk and whiteboard up front sitting in front of the rows of chairs. Most of the twenty or so figures around me were fellow Venlil, except for a handful of Gojid and even a single Yotul who was sitting in the back, all of us awaiting the start of the ‘lesson’.
They claimed they had a solution to our problem, that they knew how to increase our yields. How could a predator know how to fix our farming issues?.
Human. Human Human Human Human. Not a predator.
Yes yes I know, I’m trying to be better about that.
I stopped my train of thought and corrected myself. Ever since the revelations about many of our allies being former predators, I had been making an effort to stop thinking of the world in terms of predator and prey. It was difficult at times, but given that I was working against a lifetimes worth of lies, I thought I was making good progress..
But even if “Predator” wasn’t the curse it used to be, how could a human claim to know how to fix our farming issues? Even if we ignored the differences between our diets, for all their advantages, humans were still far below our technological advancements.
Almost on cue, the door to the room opened up, and the figure of the human who had invited us here entered with an enthusiastic bounce, caring two large cases covered with black cloth
Unlike most, this human was unmasked, its piercing eyes and beaming teeth filled smile visible for all to see. I could feel the room start to fill with panic. Sure, logically I knew I was probably safe, but seeing the unmasked features of an apex predator caused fear to grip the edge of my heart.
I could proudly say I can walk past and interact with masked humans without wanting to flee anymore, but seeing those forward-facing eyes boring a hole into my soul was another task altogether.
Come on, you should be better than this.
I’m trying, ok!
"Hello everyone. My name is Joseph. I'm an ecology student, and I'm here to provide a solution to your farming yields." The human spoke with an unbridled joy, seeming to wait a moment while our translators attempted to explain what Ecology was, stopping half way through and seemingly giving up.
“You might be wondering why I’m unmasked, well we’re going to be covering a lot of ‘predatory’ concepts today, so if you can’t handle this? We’re gonna have bigger problems.” Joseph took a moment to broadly gesture to himself, leaving a feeling of dread to start in the pit of my stomach.
If this was just the start, what exactly was going to happen here?
Silence! Wait and see, knowing humans it’s probably interesting at the very least.
“I’ve finally been given authorization to start a trial of this program. Both the UN and Venlil governments are very interested in increasing food supply for both our people. As you might know we’re kinda at war, and logistics wins wars.”
The human paused for a moment, a shiver running around most of the room as he gave a large beaming smile.
“So to start: paws, claws, or tails up if you know about the ‘5 harvest curse.’”
The room immediately was filled with Federation species all raising their prospective limbs in affirmation. Of course we all knew what it was, that was why most of us were here.
How would the human know about that?
Basic research, simple reading, asking literally any farmer?
“Fantastic! I’m still going to explain it so we’re all on the same page. The ‘5 harvest curse’ is a phenomenon where new farms on Venlil prime often fail within the first five harvests. On a side note, the coincidental fact that five has a religious contention in Venlil culture is neat.”
I could feel an annoyance start to course through me, that the affliction currently driving me to destitution was being described as ‘neat’ by the callous predator. I mean human.
Stupid human.
Joseph either didn’t pick up or ignored my annoyance as he pressed a button, a graph appearing on the whiteboard showing expected yields over time, continuing on in his seemingly endless enthusiasm.
“So in general the five harvest curse follows a standard pattern of yields, with the first two harvests being up to 52% larger than even more established farms, plummeting after that until the business is non-viable and collapses. Officially the reason for this is unknown, with some vague religious stupidity about new farms being too far away from the center of the habitable strip.”
This was nothing new to me, I remembered feeling the joy of the sheer output from my first harvest, of wondering if I could finally make something of myself, a joy that had been whittled down as my last two harvests had been pitiful.
“However there’s an interesting thing, if you also plot the number of predator sightings during this time against the yields, you can see a direct correlation between number of predators and the success of each harvest.”
Wait, what? Is this human trying to say that predators… increase harvest? That can’t be right, that can’t be right at all. That would be insanity.
The data is literally there in front of you.
Yet it was there on the screen, a second graph had appeared on the whiteboard, tracking predator sightings over time in each of the farms afflicted by the curse.
“This tracks with most farms' general lifecycle. You buy a plot of untamed land on the edge of the habitable zone but you don’t have enough money to go full anti-predator. As the harvests come in you end up spending more and inadvertently messing it up.”
This caused a small amount of murmuring and energetic rejection by myself and the other members of the room, wiping away the previous undercurrent of fear. It was insanity, it went against everything I had ever known or been taught about farming and how the world worked. How could a predator of all things be beneficial?
Didn’t the introduction of humans also go against everything I had ever known or been taught about?
“If this effect is so obvious, how has nobody found this before?”
The sound of a Venlil challenging Joseph was greeted by murmurs of agreement from the group, causing the human to give a different kind of smile. Not a smile of joy or excitement as had been seen before, but the smile of someone who had something for this.
“Because you have. 150 years ago, a Venlil named Slavek wrote a paper regarding this. 119 years ago, Vicktal did the same. As well as Traval, Stralan, and Vilkin in between then and now. Those are just the ones I’ve found. Who can guess what happened to them?”
There was a pause, before the uplift in the back spoke up for the first time, a surety in the Yotul’s voice.
“They were diagnosed with predator disease.”
Joseph pointed at the Yotul in the back with both hands, the joy radiating from him.
“Based Space Kangaroo gets 10 points for being correct! Yep the federation has been actively suppressing anything that suggests that predators are more than some kind of eldritch evil, that and your surprising lack of hydroponics causes most planets to be dependent on the core worlds for food imports. Probably by design for control.”
Wait… that’s a good point, why aren’t we using hydroponics?
The human took a moment to switch to the next slide, showing a simple three part cycle.
“Most healthy ecological systems are made up of three parts: Plants, which are eaten by herbivores, which are in turn eaten by carnivores. In reality actual systems are far more complex than these, but as a basic understanding this will suffice. These three parts keep each other in check, each part dependent on the other, which-”
“Are you trying to say that predator attacks are a good thing? Are you suffering from predator disease?! ”
The Venlil interrupted once again to more murmured agreement, causing Joseph to give a sigh of clear annoyance in response. I wished the Venlil would shut up and just let the human talk.
“No, I’m not suggesting we airdrop a bunch of Nissa into the Capital, I'm explaining how natural systems work. Sapience obviously breaks this cycle, which if you deviate too far, you end up with something called trophic cascade."
The human seemed to wait a moment for the translator to once again fail to explain the meaning of the phrase.
I wonder how many basic concepts the federation lacks words for…
"Rather simply, the removal of one of these pieces has wider effects, reducing biodiversity and in many cases causing a complete ecological collapse. An example of this is the dust bowl effect, something the federation is well acquainted with."
There was a moment before the whiteboard changed before showing pictures of desolate barren worlds. Without any explanation I knew exactly what I was looking at. It was one of the… lesser talked about aspects of the federation.
"The Skivit grand herd are a species who go from planet to planet stripping ecosystems bare, devouring everything down to the smallest sapling. This removes important root systems that act as drainage, causing flooding and deserts to form as new plantlife lacks the structure to grow. In many cases these ecosystems are permanently destroyed, turning once lush planets into lifeless husks”.
I couldn’t help but feel sorrow for those planets. It was well known the impact the Skivit had on planets, once thriving planets of beauty. Although if I was following this human’s logic correctly did that mean…
“Now I’m not suggesting that the Skivit need a predator, that would be immoral.” Joseph cut off the thought I was about to have, seemingly understanding the logical thought many of us had picked up on. “But instead this is a real life example of damage an unchecked herbivore can have on ecosystems. If the Skivit didn’t have FTL travel they would have long ago driven themselves to starvation under their current society. It’s also not the only form of this trophic cascade.”
“Surely this doesn’t just apply to prey? Or are you saying prey are somehow inferior?”
The sound of the Gojid cutting in was filled with an unspoken challenge against the idea, inciting general sounds of agreement from those around him. Surprisingly however, Joseph seemed to respond positively.
“That is entirely correct, an overabundance of carnivorous species can also cause their own issues. Keep in mind what I’m describing here is an extremely simplified version, just the addition or removal of a single species can cause untold damage and harm to the diversity of ecological systems as the impacts are felt in the most seemingly unlikely cases.”
With that the human reached under the desk, taking one of the two covered containers he had brought with him and placing it into view.
“In Venlil Prime’s case, while the impact of Federation thinking has been reduced due to the day and night sides being mostly untouched, you still have the problem of overpopulation of certain species, and a lack of reasonable fear response from certain prey species. This has accumulated into the problem you all face.”
With that he removed the cover, causing a surge of fear to ripple through the participants around me until we all calmed down at what was underneath: A small cage, containing a single red bird busily eating seeds.
All farmer’s arch nemesis.
“This is a Flowerbird, a seed eating avian often coming in solid red, blue, or green. They are adorable, dumb as a sack of bricks and food motivated to a fault. They are also one of the biggest causes of farm yield destruction, with these birds alone being responsible for around about 41% of all losses. If we include Voidpins and other similar wildlife, farms can have up to 94% of their yield destroyed before they even get to harvest.”
Everyone in this room was familiar with the cursed avians. While your average city dweller would enjoy the sight of a flock of Flowerbirds, the farming community knew of them as a blight that devastated crops.
Joseph took a moment to open the cage, reaching inside and grabbing the bird. A small part of me wondered if he was about to devour it in front of us, before I tamped down on such an illogical idea. Of course the humans wouldn’t, we knew they didn’t do that. The Flowerbird also seemed completely unfazed about being in the meaty grasp of a predator, simply continuing to eat.
“Even worse, these things have basically zero fear response to noises and large beasts, probably due to all major predators having been removed. As you can see this specimen doesn’t mind a ‘scary predator’ grabbing it. As long as it has food, it couldn’t care less. This makes pest control tricky, as scaring them away is no longer an option. Poisons would be used in such a case, but they can have wider ranging effects, and poisoning prey is considered ‘Predatory’, not that many of you haven’t tried ‘accidentally’ leaving potential pesticides out.”
This caused a sway of discomfort to sweep through the room, tails switching in guilty movements as everyone tried to hide the truth of this human’s words. I knew I personally had considered such actions in desperation.
I mean, would ‘accidently’ leaving out a known poisonous chemical really be a sign of predator disease?
“Ha! I know enough tail language to know I’m right, that’s guilt isn’t it? I’ve read your internet, I know your discussions on loopholes about what is and isn’t predatory!” Joseph cried out in triumph as many of the Venlil of the room reached out to grab their traitorous appendages. “Now normally I would just tell people to stop being idiots, but in this case we can’t do that. Ironically because predators are actually dangerous. Because of your slaughter the only species left are ones aggressive and smart enough to survive. Shadestalkers are legitimately dangerous and can’t be left to interact with the farming community because people will die.”
The words from Joseph all sounded so… reasonable at this point. However, I, along with the rest of the room, were all desperately waiting for the other paw to drop. Because there would be, humans always had something they were about to do.
Almost in response to our thoughts the human placed the second container on the desk, covering up the first in response.
“Humans have dealt with this problem in a simple way, a way that our Yotul friend over there will know of. I need all of you to please remain calm and orderly, and to remember that you’re perfectly safe and there’s no need to overreact or panic. Humans dealt with this pest problem, through the use of safe predators.”
Before anyone could properly react to those words, the cover of the second container was removed, showing… a predator. An actual one, not a human but an actual real threat. Small piercing front facing yellow eyes attached to a brown feline form, sulking from the cage it was being held in.
Speh speh speh speh that’s a PREDATOR, A FERAL PREDATOR
If it was a danger the human wouldn't have-
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT LIKE NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
The panic in the room was immediate. Sapient human predators we had gotten used to, but none sapient ones were another deal entirely. Chaos started to spread as the 7 in the front row got up, pushing themselves up against the back wall as everyone else in the room did the same. Three Venlil made the choice to bolt out of the room, rushing past the human and his tiny devourer, while another clean fainted, hitting the floor with a thud. One even decided to take things further, jumping out of the singular window attached to the far wall in a frantic motion.
I could feel fear overwhelm me, desperately staring at the feline and waiting for it to make its move. What was the human thinking, it was going to attack at any moment, it was going to-
“STOP, Stop this stupidity. Right. NOW!”
The stern commanding voice of Joseph caused everyone in the room to freeze. The calm enthusiastic demeanor of the predator was gone, replaced with an emotion I’d never actually seen a human show before: anger.
“It has been six months! Do you really still believe that the UN or the Venlil government would put you in actual danger? You’re still thinking based on your stupid fascist Federation propaganda. Thinking that tells you that the Yotul are primitive, or the Venlil are weak. Propaganda that says genetically modifying people against their will is morally OK”
I knew that humans normally bared their teeth in joy, as a sign of happiness and friendship. This wasn’t the case right now, as everything in Joseph’s body language screamed of rage, of pain, of words spoken through gritted teeth. Nobody in the room was focused on the predator in the cage at this point, instead all eyes staring at the human. Suddenly the feline mattered a lot less than the anger of the human.
“That sort of thinking leads to the belief that killing over a billion innocent people is somehow the right thing to do. You are all presumably intelligent sapient adults able to think things through logically. Could you all please act that way?”
I could see the swishes of shame from the other Venlil’s tails, everyone in the room avoiding eye contact guiltily. Well, apart from the Yotul, who had remained seated and calm this entire time, staring almost joyfully at the feline predator. The human, of course, was completely right. Taking a moment to force myself to think, the predator was safely behind metal bars and was making no move to attack, seemingly content to stare lazily at us.
You finished overreacting?
Shut up, brain.
“Also, at the risk of ruining the angry vibe I’m giving off, is the guy who jumped out the window OK? Jesus Christ, we are two stories up, do we have to call someone or….”
Joseph had relaxed a little in response to the group calming down, allowing the normal empathetic nature of humans to come through once more. Slowly I made my way to the window, looking down to see a singular Venlil running off into the distance.
“I-I think he’s fine.” I responded, causing the human to give a sigh of relief in response.
“Good. Note to self, do this in a room without windows next time… or maybe just the ground floor. So, to continue where I left off, humans have used tame predators as a natural non-invasive form of pest control since we started farming. This is a cat, completely harmless unless you’re a small rodent or bird. They also have this effect.”
With a flourish Joseph removed the covering for the cage containing the Flowerbird once more, the red little avian had been busily eating during the entire presentation so far. However upon spotting the Feline predator did something none of us had ever seen before.
It stopped eating. Wait, the human managed to get a Flowerbird to stop eating! I didn’t even know that was possible…
Giving repeated alarmed chirps it moved as far away as it could from the predator, still trapped inside the small cage, a frantic fear obvious on the poor little thing. Joseph let this go on for a few moments more, before dropping the cover back on and silencing the Flowerbird once more.
Everyone in the room was shocked. You could literally scream and shout all you wanted at the dumb little birds and they would ignore you and continue to devour crops. The fact that the feral predator had managed to stop the bird from doing that simply with its presence… was huge. Was more than huge.
“As you can see, the instincts of the ‘prey’ animal still remain. Presumably, whatever predator used to hunt these Flowerbirds has a resemblance to our cats. Normally it would be sacrilege to suggest introducing cats to an ecosystem, but in this case your ecosystems are so messed up that’s exactly what we want to do: Provide any farmer who wants one with a kitten, in order to quickly reduce yield lost to pests.”
I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. On the one hand having a vicious predator in my house, where my pups would visit seemed like something a predator diseased individual would only consider. On the other hand, nothing else I had ever tried had even come close to the simple effectiveness shown here.
Would I be this desperate and in debt if I had one of these “cats” already?
“So I can see you’re all still a little worried, so we’re going to have a little discussion, for which I need a volunteer-'' The Yotul in the back practically fell over with excitement, with his arm raised immediately as he interrupted, causing Joseph to give a small smile. “One who isn’t a Yotul. I know your history with similar pets, and we are totally going to hook you up with a cat, but for this I could do with a Venlil please.”
The Yotul sat back down, a look of disappointment plastered over his face as the rest of the room shifted uncomfortably. Nobody wanted to be the person to step up and presumably get closer to the predator. Until I found myself raising my hand.
Brain, what the hell are you doing?
You said you wanted to be better, and we’re desperate.
NOT LIKE THIS BRAIN!
In a blur I found myself being introduced to the room and being told to sit at a chair next to the desk in front of the rest of the members here. Then, to my horror, Joseph opened the cage and took the feline predator out of its holding cell. The human took a few moments to fuss over the beast before turning to the rest of us.
“So now that we have our volunteer, let's logically look at our ‘dangerous predator’. The first thing to notice is simply the size. Regardless of anything else, size matters, size matters a lot. It’s hard to feel threatened by something that you can literally throw across the room.”
Joseph took a moment to hold the small creature next to me for context, highlighting just how small the predator actually was: barely the size of a Skivit, like a furry little pup. Logically if it wasn't for the forward facing eyes, I might consider it… cute?
“But what about its teeth and claws? It’s a predator that will tear people apart!”
The voice of the Gojid sounded out, a shrill fearful voice filled with barely contained panic and fear, the source of the sound looking ready to flee even though they weren’t the one sitting next to the predator
“Let's compare these. Tellek can you please extend your paws and show your claws to the group.”
I did as asked, my four black claws visible for all to see as Joseph moved the predator close. He stretched out one of its paws and pressed on a knuckle, a singular sharp claw protruding as he did so, causing a fresh burst of fear to erupt in my heart from being so close to such a thing.
Although if I was to be fully honest, if I was comparing the two, the predator’s claw were…
“As you can see, the cat’s claw, while sharper, is far smaller and more brittle. A Venlil can do some serious damage with their claws, while the worst this cat’s claw could do is break the skin. The teeth are similar, if you could show the group your pearly whites please.”
I again did as asked, feeling embarrassed and weird just having my mouth wide open in front of everyone. I hoped that there was nothing stuck in my teeth. While I did Joseph manhandled the cat again, taking a moment to move the lips and display the sharp needle point teeth, doing so for a moment before the small predator gave a small lazy growl of annoyance, clearly reaching the end of its acceptability.
“Once again we have similar results: Notice the small size of the cat's teeth compared with the Venlil’s. These would pierce skin, the Venlil’s would pulverize bone. Gojid aren’t much better with your literal claws and a back full of knives. Ironically enough the two ‘predators’ in the room are probably the least physically imposing.”
There was a moment as the room seemed to ponder this statement, allowing Joseph enough time to place the cat on the desk next to me, the predator promptly giving a stretch then curling up into a ball. The human was right, even humans themselves were physically… underwhelming, apart from their endurance. No claws, small teeth, no defensive armor or spines.
It’s kinda sad to think the only reason we’re all so scared of humans is their eye placement.
“Now the UN and Venlil government are looking for people to use cats as pest control to increase farming yield, with an initial trial size of about 100 participants. We’re offering a stipend for food, instructional care of your kitten, and as much support as needed. There are risks, for instance you’re going to need warning signs near your property and a containment system, as cats are actually dangerous to the Dossur.”
I could hardly hear Joseph speak, my entire concentration focused on the predator right next to me. I knew logically that the human wouldn’t do something to bring me to harm, but it was difficult to think that with a potentially feral predator right next to me. I saw its eyes fixate onto mine and I quickly looked away.
Maybe if I don’t look at it, it won’t take it as a challenge.
However much to both mine and the rest of the room's shock, slowly and carefully the cat stood up, stretched once before walking purposefully towards me, the room erupting into cries of worry as it leapt off the desk and onto my lap, curling into a ball with me trapped underneath.
“H-h-help…. Help…..!”
The human turned to look at me, breaking into a smile seemingly at my misfortune and giving a small chuckle.
“Awwww, she likes you. As you all can see cats share a lot of characteristics with ‘prey’. They will often seek companionship from others, and have a lot of prey characteristics, being at times skittish due to having many natural predators.”
That was good and all, but didn’t stop me from being trapped under the beast.
I don’t want to think about what could cause a predator to become prey.
“W-What d-do I do?”
Joseph gave a small shrug in response, clearly amused by my reaction.
“You could try petting her. Her name is Sprinkles and I can confirm she likes pets.”
You see brain, this is what happens when I let you do things! Now I'm trapped by a predator and I'm gonna die!
Stop being such a pup, the thing is tiny. Besides, don't humans claim petting stuff is nice?
Slowly I reached out a paw, gingerly approaching the predator, those yellow slitted eyes regarding my exposed arm as I gently placed it on the "cat", running my paw across its back.
I felt my held breath release as the predator did nothing, some of the tension of the room releasing in the instant.
"So interesting thing about cats: they 'chose' to be domesticated."
Joseph had gone back to talking, seemingly happy that I wasn't about to be torn apart. I had stopped listening, entirely focused on keeping the predator satisfied by running my paws across its fur.
Isn't this nice? I gotta admit I understand why humans like doing this.
Fine. I'll admit that this isn't unpleasant, the cat is rather soft.
"When humans originally started farming, that also attracted pests. Cats just turned up, following their food source. They stuck around because humans would feed them and provide companionship."
I was entirely focused on the cat at this point, running my claws through the fur, feeling the predator press itself against my paw, seeming to be enjoying itself. Gently I moved my claw to the back of one of its tiny little ears, scratching behind it like you might do to comfort a young pup. It started to emanate a low vibrating noise in response, causing another wave of tension to emit from the rest of the room.
For some reason, even though this feral predator was sitting on my lap, the sound seemed to vibrate through my heart in a calming motion.
Maybe this is some kind of predatory hypnosis?
Really? Just shush and enjoy this. Being scared of everything all the time is so tiring.
"Nobody needs to worry. That is just the sound a happy cat makes, it's called purring. Although I do need to take Sprinkles back now."
Joseph motioned towards the cat on my lap, a motion I decided to ignore, enjoying petting the purring cat for a few moments more. Eventually the human reached down and removed Sprinkles from my grasp as I momentarily resisted before letting the feline go.
See, that wasn't so bad.
Brain, I will admit- reluctantly- that I would have preferred to keep doing that.
With a small amount of resentment I watched as Joseph placed the cat back inside the cage, before turning back to the rest of the room.
"So anyone who is interested, stick around and we can get the paperwork completed."
—-------------
In the end eight of us remained, 5 Venlil, 2 Gojid, and obviously the Yotul. We had spent the last half a claw having instructions and paper work thrust upon us. Many of the group had immediately left, with others dropping out as various facts of cat ownership became apparent.
Still, those of us who were left behind were now heading to our respective farms, each with a single carry case. Mine was currently containing a gray and black “kitten,” which had been “meowing” loudly during the entire journey.
I looked simply at the little bundle of fur and eyes that peered out from inside the cage I had been given. Part of my mind still screamed danger, but it was a part that was getting quieter and quieter as I continued to look at what was a small fragile bundle of fur that I was now ultimately in charge of.
How could you look at something that’s hardly bigger than your paw, and think it’s a danger?
As I reached my farm, I finally opened up the container and pulled out the tiny predator. My tiny predator. There would be work to do, fences to erect and warning signs to place, but for now I just held the tiny thing in my paws, supporting it in the way I’d been told to. I now knew why humans spent all their time trying to pet things: with the troubles on the farm I hadn’t felt this calm in several cycles.
He was more energetic then Sprinkles had been, but in a way the more skittish nature pulled at my heartstrings, as if it was a small innocent Venlil pup. I sat there stroking it, realizing I still needed to give him a name. He was fluffy, Tiny, innocent, fragile. Yet with an underlying spice as it continued to meow loudly as I held in my paws
“I will call you Fireberry. My little predator.”

I have been in NC as much as possible with her due to us sharing a young child and having to have some sort of contact on the child's behalf. Today, she tried calling me multiple times, using our child as an excuse to reach out. Her parents live right down the street from my house. When I didn't answer, she drove by my house when I happened to be outside. She pulled up to ask for some clothes for our kid, so I went inside my home to get her what she was asking for. While inside, she made it a point to come into my home. When I came back downstairs, she told me she missed me and told me how good I look, and how lonely she has been. She said she wishes I would talk to her more and thinks about me often. However, she is the one that left me for another man. I told her it was nice to hear, but I wanted no part of it if the other guy was still around. She insisted he wasn't around and that she was single, but I know she was lying about that. It has been messing with me all night and I don't know what to make of it. Could anyone give some input here on this please?

It took several months to submit my anonymous tip to the FBI. That was 2 years ago and still no one has followed up or contacted me.
And so, I will post it here. I won't use names or identifying details like addresses or dates just in case the authorities are looking into it and I am just not aware.
It is my understanding that there has never been a solid lead/suspect in this case other than 2 random child molestekillers, both of whom they couldn't place within a 100 miles of Cleveland County.
Well, the tip I gave to the FBI placed a violent serial rapist (not yet on the sex offender registry at the time) within a 3 minute drive from the Degree House. So, you can see why I've been so upset and anxious that the FBI has not followed up with me. I honestly don't get it.
I grew up about 20 min from where Asha lived. But I moved away before she disappeared so for a very long time I was unaware of that happened to her. And it is only recently that I realized I might be holding some key information.
When I was 14 years old there was a guy who sexually harassed me everyday. He was explicit in the things he said he was going to do to me. I ignored him. But one day when he caught me alone he did attack me. He was big and he was violent. But I was fortunate because he saw people coming and I was able to get away.
I didn't tell anyone, not even my friends. That's something I've always regretted because just a few weeks later he attacked another 14 year old girl. She was not as fortunate as I was. He raped her. She reported it but he was given a slap on the wrist. It was pleaded down. He served no time and was not put on the sex offender registry.
I'm uncertain of what he did for the next few years beyond petty crimes but I'm certain he was no angel. Someone that angry, violent and compulsively raping girls isn't likely to just stop. But it was in early 2000's that he left NC and brutally raped and beat a woman then left her for dead. He was caught and is currently still in prison for that crime.
The issue is that the state where he is incarcerated believe him to have only committed that one sex crime. And in NC because I never reported him and he was not charged with rape against the other 14 year old then only a few realize he's a serial rapist. And perhaps only I am aware of this since no one knew about me.
I initially contacted the CMPD sexual assault cold case unit to make sure this man's DNA was in the national data base because I felt he had probably hurt other girls and woman. And because he was so violent I was also afraid he might have killed someone. They understood my concerns. The cop I spoke to said this guy was what they called an "opportunist rapist" or "stranger rapist". This type of rapist doesn't have a type. They don't care about age, race or body type. If the opportunity is there then they take it. Its compulsive. They don't even really consider the risk. And the violence is a huge part of what excites them.
So, when I discovered that my attacker-- the violent sex offender, lived just up the street from the Degree house around the time she disappeared, I realized he would have been a serious suspect had the cops known about his past. But like I said, he barely escaped being put on the sex offender registry and the authorities were unaware that he'd already sexually assaulted 2 minors.
I was quiet after my attack when I was 14 and that silence allowed at least 2 more people to get hurt. So, now I'm doing my best to be heard. And perhaps a thorough investigation of this guy will prove him innocent. I welcome that because the alternative means that my silence allowed this man to hurt an innocent little girl and that reality is just something I can't handle.

I currently live in Charlotte, NC, which compared to most of the South, is pretty walkable, but it's still a struggle getting around without a car. I wanna live somewhere where I have freedom of movement without a car, but I don't wanna leave the South.
Basically, I'm wondering if there are any walkable cities in the South, or areas within specific cities that are walkable.
I would prefer to stay in Charlotte or the greater Charlotte-Mecklenburg area, so if y'all have any advice for getting around here without a car, I would love to hear it lol. I know we have CATS (Charlotte Area Transit System), but in my experience, it's been pretty unreliable/inefficient.

Okay here’s some context, I’m 26 F, my bff/cousin is 27. This story takes place in 2014/2015 when I was 17/18 and so was my cousin, let’s call her ‘Lily.’ So lily and i have been super close for as long as I can remember. Our dads are brothers. Every holiday we spent together, we took many family trips together and we went to school together. We were very close, and we still are pretty close to this day. She was a grade above me and about 6 months older but growing up I was more of the ‘leader’ of the two of us. She was more shy and dingy, I was more outgoing & quick witted. We were very different and if we weren’t cousins i don’t think we would’ve become friends. Regardless we loved each other and actually meshed very well together. I’ve had the best times of my life with her by my side. Anyways fast forward to junior year, Lily went homeschool because her grades were so low she wasn’t going to pass, and I talked my parents into letting me go homeschool as well even though I was in honors and made very good grades. I could pretty much talk my parents into anything. I was a pretty spoiled kid, and Lily wasn’t. She would get spoiled just like me when she stayed at my house though. Lily and I had many “boyfriends” growing up, we’d spend nights calling boys, sneaking out to see boys, all the teenager things lol. I hate to say this but it’s relevant to the story, Lily’s boyfriends pretty much always hit on me, and of course I would tell her, or she would already know because a lot of them weren’t shy about it. I would never initiate it, they would just be drawn to me, and I think it was my cocky, outgoing, center of attention personality (cringe I know). It had to be that because Lily and I were basically equally attractive, even though we look nothing alike, neither of us is obviously cuter than the other. Lily never acted like it bothered her. Looking back, I know it had to of. I think she was resentful of me because of it, and because of being able to get and do what I wanted. Like I was the first one to get to shave my legs. I got a car first, I got a phone first. I never got grounded. I made good grades. I was usually the center of attention because I was friendly and funny and high energy. Stuff like that. Okay so fast forward to 2014, Lily and I are just hanging out at sonic when two older guys pull up next to us. They were like 21/22. Let’s call them Tyler & Dylan. They asked us to hang out, and we say yes. We’re so excited because these guys are cute, older, and so cool. (Cringe again) immediately she claims Tyler and I claim Dylan. We were both more than happy with that arrangement. After a few days of hanging out with these guys I discovered that I am INFATUATED with Dylan. Like obsessed. He’s everything i could’ve ever wanted in a person. I literally thought he was the coolest guy I’d ever met, not only did I want to be with him, I wanted to be more like him. He got me into EDM, and a bunch of other things. Whenever I would talk to Lily about Dylan she would always be like “ew, I do not see what you see in him. He’s so ugly and weird.” And I really do 100% believe she actually felt that way. So I started sleeping with Dylan, we werent official but it was known that if they stayed over, i was going to bed with him. This goes on for a month or two, the whole time I’m on cloud 9. I’m constantly talking Lily’s ear off about him, telling her how in love I am. She’s still like, “ew he’s just so not cute.” Then one night at a party we were all at, Dylan started talking to Lily, which wasn’t weird because they talked a lot since we were all always together, but it was different this time.. he was really talking to her, like more than he ever has. He was complimenting her, flirting with her, the works. I’m watching from a distance and I’m hurt. Really hurt. I don’t worry about it too much because I know Lily could care less about him. Or so I thought. They went to bed together that night. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t my actual boyfriend and I didn’t want to seem crazy. And I didn’t say anything to Lily because it was my understanding that the only reason she found him suitable enough to sleep with was because she knew I liked him. This whole time she thought he was gross, but the moment she finds out that he picked her over me, made it worth it to her. Over the next few weeks he would still flirt with me, and I would still sleep with him. I was in love with him. I couldn’t help it. And he would still flirt with Lily. I was doing everything in my power to be the one he chooses, without making it obvious that’s what I was doing. Then one night they went to bed together again, the next day we were all just sitting in the living room and Lily says “Guess what?” And I say “what” she says “Dylan asked me to be his girlfriend last night.” I couldn’t even look at her, I looked right at him and said out loud “wait, are you fucking serious?” He couldn’t even look at me. He had been leading me on this whole time. He knew how much I loved him. Anyway so now they’re official and I’m still hanging out with them everyday, I went homeschool so I had no other friends to chill with until summer. He would wait until Lily went to the store, or fell asleep and come find me and tell me that he was just messing with Lily and it wasn’t serious but he feels too bad up break up with her, and that he really wants to be with me, and that soon he’ll leave her and that he knows I’m the girl he belongs with, blah blah blah. I believed every word. I wanted to believe it. I was so heartbroken and those words helped. So anytime we got the chance we would hook up behind Lilys back, this went on for about two months until I realized he was full of shit and he wasn’t actually gonna leave her. I never told Lily. I’ve never told anybody, until now. Lily and Dylan went on to date until 2019, they were miserable basically their whole relationship. She’s in a new relationship now, I’m a mom now, and I honestly don’t know what happened to Dylan or where he is now. But yeah, AITA?

I’ve been learning more about being an HSP in therapy and it’s been so eye opening. I finally feel like wow, I’m not imagining it, I really DO feel the emotions of everyone around me. It’s so draining. I’m realizing more and more tho that people in my life only keep me around BECAUSE of my HSP and people pleasing. I’m always the one to pick up the phone, to hype you up, to support your choices, offer advice, listen in hard times, but no one ever cares about me in my hard times. Im learning my people pleasing is a selfish driven thing that stems from trauma but I don’t know who I am without constantly appeasing others. So much of my existence is centered around being that one person for EVERYONE and I’m over it. My best friend stopped talking to me because she wanted to hang out multiple times a week (which was me commuting 30min each way to her house) and I didn’t have the capacity or time. I work full time and my job has frequent on call shifts. I even told her I was depressed and isolating and she didn’t care at all. I can’t imagine being that way to someone. Especially some I “care about”. I want to set boundaries and be respected and only give my energy where it’s deserved. I’m just scared because I don’t know what I bring to the table without all those things :/ I hope this makes sense. Im anxious and first time posting and it’s 330am. Thanks if you read this far 💜