Is nest down

With the recent rate increases has anyone come off their tracker & onto a fixed rate? I'm about to contact my mortgage provider to ask about this but I'm so used to the mindset of " keep the tracker at all costs". In simple terms is it a bad idea? Will trackers come back down at some stage? Anyone good with this kind of stuff?

I (f18) live in a very predominately white area. The biggest issue with that is my dad is Iranian / Persian. I somewhat look like my dad so I've always been told I look “exotic” I also got a Persian first name as well as my dad’s last name. Nobody pronounces my name correctly not friends, teachers, definitely not substitute teachers. So I've always gone by a nickname unless with my family.
Well, today I graduated high school!!! A week leading up to graduation I got asked by several administrations how to pronounce my name... I told them and. I wrote it down several times on how you would pronounce it. But they still pronounced it wrong when I received my diploma. It's something I've gotten used to I just find it funny I was In this school district for 13 years and told them how to pronounce it and they still pronounced my name very very wrong.
Just wanted to rant and I figured other people with unique names can relate

I'm making this post by examining the Halo games as a whole and some of the EU as well but wanna make it brief since all of my posts are on mobile and I got no way of citing books/links unlike other brilliant posters here..
To me it sorta feels like the Halo Universe is in a time loop in some way. It always shows humans being the underdogs before slowly becoming technolgically superior to the other factions before getting MASSIVELY downgraded before doing it again. Examples?
Forerunners being the dominant species before Ancient Humanity slowly rises up and is cast down by the Flood and the Forerunners (I get that this is literally a plot element of the Forerunner trilogy and nothing more but still felt the need to mention it nonetheless)
Humanity becoming a spacefaring race and colonizing planets and systems before the Insurrection and the Covenant War bringing their efforts crashing down. (Again this is simply setting up the Universe and doesn't support my main point)
Now those two points are simply to help expand the universe that we all know and love. My main gripe with the Halo Universe is post Halo 3. We see an isolated story in Halo: CE with a lone UNSC ship attempting to hold their own against a Covenant armada. In Halo 2 and Halo 3, the universe is expanded upon and we see that humanity ain't exactly winning and is clearly on its last legs.
Halo 3 ends with the Covenant and Flood destroyed and humanity free to rebuild. Of course real-life empires don't break so cleanly that way and Halo is no exception but the various Covenant splinter cells posed no true threat to humanity unlike the original Covenant.
In Halo 4, we see humanitt becoming more superior and arrogant. Spartan IV's are becoming as mass produced as Spartan III's but the main difference between the two is superior armor that the IV's carry that is even better than what the Spartan II's had. The UNSC's new ship; the Infinity can literally tank head on collisions with Covenant ships, and the UNSC's weapons are becoming more and more advanced. We see that with factions like the Prometheans and the Didact still around, humanity still has a long way to go before they are "the giants" of the Milky Way Galaxy.
Halo 5 also expands on the idea of a more powerful humanity. With help from their new allies, the Swords of Sangheilios, humanity is beginning to apply Covenant tech to their weapons and vehicles, simple weapons like the Battle Rifle look far more sophisticated, and more vehicles are beginning to have energy shielding like the Mantis.
However, humanity's hubris is ultimately what kicks it down as the UNSC was never a match for the Forerunner's true might as while they were able to defeat the most powerful Foreunner twice, it doesn't mean it can defeat a whole faction of them (aka The Created)
Now there's always a lot of debate as to what Halo 5's original story was. Theories ranging from the main villains being the Didact or even ONI, I believe the end result is still the same. Humanity being shattered due to its fatal flaw of having too much pride. I believe the concept of having humanity crippling themselves this way is a good plot idea but only if applied right and here's where the problems begin.
Infinite has humanity defeating Cortana offscreen, and once again battling aliens in the form of The Banished. To me this feels annoying. While it does continue the broken humanity trope that Halo 5 introduced, it doesn't feel right. Rather than making Halo Infinite seem like the "Halo 3" of the Reclaimer Saga, it instead feels like the "Halo: CE" of the Reclaimer Saga due to throwing away any tropes that Halo 4 and 5 simply for the reason of making this game accessible for a new casual audience who's never played a Halo game before.
Any memory of humanity's former might? Gone. Instead introducing another isolated story in which humanity must fight against aliens simply due to the sole fact that "aliens bad, humans good". This really feels like a slap in the face and makes it feel like 343 doesn't really care about progressing the franchise's story at all. Halo will always have humanity fighting against some alien threat. Whether it be fallen gods who are zombies, or robot demigods, it's all the same thing. But this feels like 343 simply wants to please the section of the fanbase who only wants an epic story of humanity losing against aliens but slowly managing to win.
A comment I saw years ago highlights my point. You'd think that after seeing and suffering so much, humanity would be entitled to some type of reward. That reward could've come in the way of the Janus Key and the Absolute Record. What better way than to finally have humanity accend into the stars and become their former selves once more. But nope. Some people believe that this would make humanity too OP and the whole "aliens vs humans" trope would be meaningless if humanity is too strong now. With bad writing maybe those fans are right, but with good writing they're not. A story of seeing humanity cracking itself due to either shadowy groups like ONI or due their own Created AI's but finally ascend and become the top dog again would be amazing but most fans are content with seeing the same thing done over and over again.
The way the Banished are seen in Halo Infinite, they're almost like a red version of the Covenant. This might be me just nitpicking but the way the BR is designed in Infinite like the old games sorta proves my point. Sure you could blame that on in-universe lore but we all know the real reason the BR is designed that way. It's too appeal to a certain sector of fans.
From an out of universe perspective it does indeed feel like we're in a time loop. Everything from human vehicles like the Warthog using Covenant tech and Swords of Sangheilios allies is forgotten about in Halo Infinite. You can't tell me that getting Cortana killed offscreen was always the original idea of Infinite. 343 simply listened to fans' complaints and went back to basics. I simply decided to make this post in order to see what everyone else thinks.

hola, me and a few friends are starting an SMP based on the QSMP and YOU can join right now:D
i took down the last post to prevent confusion we now have 6 egg slots left and 14 parent slots left.
feel free to ask to join the remaining egg models will be shown on this post
also about the drama with the last post:
(it is important to note that these people are purely trying to sabotage this project and here is the honest explanation/run down as to why they are unhappy with it)
the people causing it were ex members the reason they were doing that was because they didn’t like one of the owners because they had an in game fight or smt and bilbob won that so they then decided to steal all of the models i made along with the mod pack i put together then they quit and made their own server with it that failed miserably because they can’t afford the server upkeep nor are they capable of managing it all.
the admin abuser thing was because me and the owner spawned it ammo clips for the god character to give out to the eggs during deals etc
the egg killing thing was basically because i was downed by 4 people and the way it works is when you are downed you can’t see due to it being very very blurry so when these 4 people tried to end my and steal all of my loot i obviously shot back at them to defend my stuff until a friend could come and revive me in which one of the eggs got caught in the crossfire and it was decided that this egg did not lose a life at all and everyone kept everything

When shopping for a ZT0562CI I noticed on Amazon the price was $259.62 marked down to $235.11. At knife stores the suggested retail price is $359 and then marked down to whatever they are selling them for, $292 at BladeHQ. The description seems to be the same for both places. Anyone know why?

Hi all! So it's been a while. I was institutionalized following a failed attempt, put on meds, did outpatient treatment for a year THEN my therapist died - I stopped medication for 6 months then I suffered a "stress induced" blackout - tried therapy again for about 3 sessions and I've been rawdogging life ever since. That was 2 years ago.
So since then I've gotten really self aware with my moods, my emotions, my episodes and how to 'manage' them. A lot changed - went from surviving to living (toxic positivity gets the job done sometimes) but I was numb.
I couldn't cry, for close to year. Even when I was in the thick of the shit - that little moment before I couldn't recondition the terrible feeling away, I couldn't cry - nothing. The really good moments were just okay.
Until the past 3 weeks. Where I went from breaking down in tears out of the blue in an office meeting at 9am to having the literal time of my life at festivals and parties with other people and by myself and I mean I was euphoric - like that moment was the happiest I've ever and will ever be & if that is so I will be okay because I had the time of my life.
This past week, I was not well(flu)and not going to work. Wednesday I was preparing to go back into the office and I got triggered by the tiniest non -issue and a had a full breakdown.
By that I mean fetal position, rolling panick attacks that lasted around 10hours and I went mute. I haven't had panick attacks that severe ever and only a few in the past 3 years. The last time I went mute was 5/6 years ago.
I went to the riverside when the attacks ended.... rationalized and explained everything that happened (to myself)- I thought about committing myself to the psych ward for a bit & let that thought go. Thursday, I spent half the day at the office in a constant state of panick/anxiety then found out my beloved friend lost his battle with depression and I went to Karaoke.
At Karaoke, I had THE TIME OF MY LIFE. And I was really sad and terribly drunk - I was feeling EVERYTHING! my emotions, everybody's emotions - I cried to my ex who broke my heart terribly and after I cried in his arms because I was sad my friend died and I was feeling so much... I was okay. Like I have never felt sadness before in my life. I let a stranger walk me to my car, I got home, slept and woke up to find I had wet the bed.
And I spent a shit ton of money at karaoke.
But I'm okay now. The sadness of my friends death comes in crashing waves. But I'm okay.
What do you think... should I make the call to the psych ward?
(P.S The funniest part is - for the 2 years I was 'okay', I was okay and dealing with the fact that I was misdiagnosed and had been faking this illness for the past 15 years and worked on healing whatever traits of manipulation or narcissism or trauma that would make me fake bipolar and mental illness or at least have me convince myself and others that l was ill. And guess what - I healed through that too. Made a lot of progress. I was okay.)

i just had surgery a few days ago and everything went well. i am overall happy with my results- i have a feeling i’m a bit flatter than what i had wanted/expected, so we’ll see how much was swelling over the next few weeks (honestly it’s pretty perfect right now so i am kinda bummed that it will get flatter, but maybe that’ll just be good motivation to start lifting again). however, this has brought a brand new insecurity on! i now have a gut 😬. i mean, i guess i’ve always had it, it didn’t just magically appear, but it wasn’t noticeable because it was balanced out by my boobs. it also feels like i look curvier than before which is throwing me through a loop. i def have an hourglass figure that a lot of cis women want, and i thought it would look boxier with no boobs, but it some how makes my hip and waist curves even more pronounced.
i’m not really looking for solutions - i’ve only been on T for 7 months (and i also take finasteride which slows some things down), i know things will change over the next few months/years as it all gets settled, and i can always do that man shape liposuction down the road. i think i’m just looking to hear if this came up for others and how you dealt with it mentally & emotionally.

24f I’ve been struggling with stomach problems and I’m being sent to the gastroenterologist. Before I go, I want a good run down of the options I might have to AVOID an endoscopy or colonoscopy like the PLAGUE. 😅🥲Please reserve your comments about it being the gold standard, I know it is... My symptoms are looking like crohns or ulcerative colitis. What are ways those could be detected/diagnosed alternatively? I am only looking for answers about alternative solutions to being scoped, thank you :)
Blood/fecal/allergy tests all negative and recently completed. I’m on Prilosec for as far as the eye can see as well as the last several months. I’ve had stomach problems since I was 12-13 that were ignored and then in the last few years ignored again by medical professionals
TLDR I don’t want scoped. At all. How else can a doc diagnose crohns or UC?

I just need to speak a bit about myself,
a few details about me? To make it simple I'm of the invisible type, I'm 21 years old ugly yet extraverted, I have such anxiety that everyday feels like I have a metal pole up my throat and every single thing I do feels so painful.
I enjoy painting, the kind of art that is pretty weird, I enjoy physics, and overall everything that touches Computer Science.
The reason why I'm stupidly writing this, it's because it's been almost 10 years, 10 years I felt the same way, 10 years that I just wish to be obliterated from the surface of earth. 10 fucking years, I cannot even bear the fact that I still wake up, I still do the same thing over and over and over again.
I cannot actually even imagine that I lived for all the people for so long, i cared so deeply about everyone, and honestly that's the achievement and the peak of my life, but i cannot take it anymore, my shoulder collapsed a long time ago, and yet I held.
Yet i was always unimportant, and anyway I didn't ever care about it, all the people that could or did care about the pile of shit that i was either died or i managed to fuck it up completely.
And i write this like i care, i mean i used to, i used to give a fuck about everything even, absolutely down to the last minute detail, and yet i slowly lost it, the last thing that remained something that i felt good about slowly went away, the last thing that remains and rings like a fucking infinite bell is "finally fucking do it".
I've tried doing it, i've tried the worst ways, and i always pathetically failed,
and after almost a decade of suicide attempts, treatment, hospitalization, therapy, and medication, i still do things because i feel forced to do them so everyone around doesn't feel like they have a parasite around them, and someone even shittier than they could think.
At work or at school, it made everything even worse, I hated the clients. I hated the arbitrary policies dreamed up by some corporate idiot I'll never meet.
Most of all, I hate the omnipresent ticking clock that crushes my mind even outside of work. The clock that ticks down to my misery. It taints every action. Every thought. Outside of work, inside of work, it then follows me everywhere like another burden added to what i am.
And all for what? To what end? To get a degree? To have a life that I will despise ??
Maybe a slightly less miserable job at some stage in the future because of a degree and still what's the point?
What's the point of that? Buying the things that I "want" in a life i already hate, a life that i hate since almost more of half my existence?
Or what perhaps, on a more fundamental level, survival? Survival in a world that gets progressively worse and worse?
None of that is worth it. Nothing is worth this. The things that living takes from me can't be bought with money.
And I don't think there's anything out there that would feel different. What tasks in life takes no time, no emotional charge no qualifications, no arduous effort, no transportation, no interaction, nothing.
I am just low and for every single thought i can recall i always have been, I hate as well the medication i have, the loneliness i feel in my stupidly dumb apartment, and i don't know i guess i finally have some guts, guts to speak and guts to act on a change.
At this day, i want only one thing, it is to die, i want to be forgotten as fast as possible, i want to find a way to kill myself to do everything not to be discovered.
I just wish i could be completely deleted.

Hello!
I'm a novelist, with several books published. This is my first venture beyond the scope of our world. I've constructed an alternate universe over the course of the last several months. Monsters, various races (human and otherwise) were the easy part, but the plot has a heavy focus on politics, and I am floundering.
I'm trying to understand the conquering and enslavement of a country, both from the perspective of those invading and those being invaded.
I'd like to understand the motivation behind a move like this, and how it's decided among the ruling class that this is the correct course of action.
I've done a great deal of research. Chronologically I know what happened leading up to and encompassing the Scramble for Africa and other similar conquests. But none of the books I've read detailing the conquering and enslavement of a people have explained the how behind the events. (How does the ruling class decide a war is worth fighting? How do they justify sending in troops solely for the purpose of expanding a territory? Who hatches the idea, and whom do they present it to? Why would a country war against a country that has never been any threat to them?) Nor have they explained the general emotions of those benefiting from the enslaved people. (Although I've found a great deal of books detailing the experiences of actual enslaved people and their journey.)
Thank you for any help!
Relevant info: I'd like to focus on wars and politics before the industrial revolution.
Also, please forgive how scattered this post is. I'm currently trying to put a fussy 10 month old down for bed.

I'm taking some inspiration from Impel Down for a prison in my D&D game, and found these maps. However, in Impel Down, the stairway connections are confusing, and the map maker took that to heart when designing these maps.
TL;DR: How are each floors connected? I thought I remembered past a certain point the elevator being needed, but I'm not sure. For example, how does one get from floor 2 to floor 3? I see the stairs in the top-right, but it doesn't look like it connects downward. Or is that just an art "flaw"?

Hello, I’ll do my best to explain the situation in a concise manner. My Mother in law was dealing with an animal hoarding issue for many years. In 2019 we began the process of finding homes for 11 of her 13 cats. We were able to get the number of animals down to 2 cats and one dog. In 2021 my husbands Uncle offered to remodel the home which was in complete disrepair due to the animals destroying the interior of it. The house has since been completely remodeled but my husbands Uncle requested someone move in with my mother in law because he wanted to charge rent for the cost of the remodel. It’s a long story but he bought the home from my mother in law because she could no longer afford the expense so he let her live there rent free for years until the remodel took place. Last year my sister in law and her boyfriend moved in to help pay the rent and care for my aging mother in laws needs. Upon moving into the remodeled home an agreement was made with my husband’s Uncle and sister in law. The agreement was that only 2 cats and one dog would be allowed because of the previous damage that was done to the home. A contract was signed etc… We’ll about 2 months ago my sister in law took in her friends dog as a favor because the friend could no longer keep it, my sister in law let us know that it would be a temporary situation. The dog ended up having 4 puppies! My sister in law didn’t even know the dog was pregnant. So recently my sister in law let my husband and I know that her friend can’t keep the dog so she’d be keeping it as well as one of the puppies. I want to explain that my husband comes from a very tight knit Filipino family so involvement from everyone is a very normalized thing, and a lot of responsibility has fallen on him being the eldest. It’s just him and his sister.
We carved out 3 years of our life de-hoarding animals, de-hoarding 40 years of stuff and helped manage the remodel.
It had to be done because it was very unhealthy.
Anyways… So now there will be 3 dogs and two cats within the home. The whole goal was to make sure this sort of thing never happened again and to offer my mother in law a clean environment.
My sister in law said she would just hide the animals when their Uncle comes over to visit and that he would never know. My husband and I were very upset upon hearing this news and my husband told my SIL that she shouldn’t be bringing more animals into the home. She’s unwilling to listen so we feel it would be best to let his Uncle know what’s going on.
My question is does that seem fair? Or should we just wash our hands of it and let it be?
Thoughts???

It’s pretty obvious. Especially if someone else indeed becomes Venom, Parker could become Carnage down the line. Since this suit is not alien this time(obviously), where else is Carnage gonna come from? It would come from Parker in that sense. And since he’s wearing the suit in the game, it could’ve fonded itself to him; meaning even if he got rid of the suit, it is still inside of him. If he gets with the suit again, or if Norman or someone else captures him and injects him with a “sample” of the suit, then he could transform into Carnage.
Parker was carnage multiple times and is a very dangerous threat. Parker already has powers and Carnage is a worse version of Venom. What is this venom gonna do, generate another symbiote? It’s not alien in SM2. So carnage has to come from Parker. The venom suit could be feeding on Harry rather than curing him like Osborn intended. In the 05 game, Toomes injected Parker with the venom suit and he became Carnage and in the ultimate Spider-Man show Osborn caused Parker’s transformation into carnage as well.
In the games Norman could very well get ahold of Parker and do the unthinkable.

A couple of friends and I hit up E Carson last night. The area seems interesting, but I have to ask, is there a big violence problem down there? The security situation ran the range from scan id at the door all the way through "we're going to pat you down." I had a 2 inch blade pocket knife on me, which they offered to keep and give back when we left. We wandered on to other establishments, as I have more sentimental value to it than I did the establishment. It was also really quiet for 9pm on a Friday.

My cousin and I are both 24-year-old males. He has been ill off and on for the last year and needed a bone marrow transplant. I was a match so I agreed to be his donor. The arrangement was for me to stay in a hotel, then my aunt and/or uncle were going to pick me up, take me to the hospital (where my cousin also is) for the procedure and drive me back to the hotel once I was discharged since I had to go under anesthesia.
I completed the discharge process about two hours or so after waking and waited in one of the hospital waiting rooms for my aunt or uncle to take me back to the hotel. They let me know via text that the transplant was starting and they wanted to stay with my cousin for a while to make sure it started off okay, which was completely understandable.
Two hours passed and I didn't hear from them. I was trying not to be rude or pushy because I know they're stressed, but I asked if one of them would be able to drive me soon, and also asked if everything was going okay on his end (I was getting worried). At this point I was in pretty bad pain and felt like I needed to lie down so I wanted to get back to the hotel (which was 5 blocks away).
Two more hours passed and I didn't hear anything. I sent them one more text saying I was leaving and called a ride share which ended up being way more expensive than I thought it would be. Slept at the hotel and got home earlier today. This morning I saw on social media that the transplant had gone well, so I'm still not sure why they never responded. I sent them a payment request with a note: "Unexpected ride share expense, glad everything went well."
I received the following message in response:
"You are a heartless AH for trying to extort money from us at a time like this. You could have waited a little longer and we would have taken you back to your hotel. It was your choice to spend your money."
I tried to explain that I had was in pain and feeling unwell for 4 hours without hearing a word so they left me with little choice but to find another ride back to the hotel, to which they responded, "Your discomfort doesn't compare to ours or [my cousin's]. We will not be guilted into giving into this extortion."
I get it. They're going through a hard time, but AITA?
P.S. The hotel stay was free because of my travel rewards but I took unpaid time off work for this too, so my own finances are a little tight.

I want to cut down my consumption of all sugar, including cane/white/brown/maple syrup, coconut etc.
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I'm trying to make some bread, and the recipe requires 10% sugar. I've tried omitting it completely but the texture just isn't right.. its crumbly, dry, and not soft/fluffy. I don't need it to be sweet at all.. it could be salty and id still enjoy it. I just want a nice rise, and for the bread to be nice, soft, moist and fluffy like it is with 10% sugar. Is there anything that I can put in which would replicate the texture of sugar? I'm willing to try weird additives as well as long as there "food grade"
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thank you!

i did keto years ago and lost about 80 pounds in a little less than a year. i’ve been doing keto again for the last couple of months and i have lost a notable amount of weight - if i had to guess probably 20 pounds (i wasn’t keeping track at first of my weight lol) but now that i see results i have been weighing myself. my issue is my scale hasn’t moved in a couple of weeks. I’ve been at 197 pounds. I have lost weight just based on my clothes fit (i bought a pair of pants three weeks ago that were too small and today i tried them on and they fit) and i’m down probably two pants sizes. i do a lot of walking so i am exercising, but why isn’t the scale moving?
edit: figured i would add i do lazy keto, i did it years ago and was really successful and i figured i would do it again. i know how to keep track of my carbs, i just can’t figure out why the scale isn’t moving lol

System: DnD 5e
Campaign Style: Open-world Homebrew
Paid: Yes, 15$ USD per session through StartPlaying
Time: 7PM EST - 11 PM EST (End time is sometimes later if there’s a big fight!)
Days: Wednesdays!
Communications: Discord Voice Chat
Camera: Required
Slots Available: 4/7 slots filled, 3 currently remaining!
Number of Addons for Foundry: Considerably high.
If you're looking for a new Wednesday campaign to help you kick-start the week, then you're in luck, because we're looking for more players! We’ve recently had a player unfortunately get tied down at work and is unable to play with us any further. So we’re headhunting for new peeps to help uncover a devious plot and save an entire nation-state!
This campaign has a focus on traditional gameplay involving map exploration, combat, and negotiating with NPCs, but it has plenty of role-playing opportunities, character development paths, and open-ended choices!
We want to blend modern playstyles and features with that traditional “rolling dice to kill things” feeling. The party is currently at level 11, and while we are well into the campaign (about two years now), this is a moment where the tides of the campaign are beginning to turn - a perfect thematic entrance for any grand adventurer!
It’s difficult to navigate online gaming groups these days. With the wide variety of games, tables, and DM styles, players are going to undoubtedly have questions about what groups would best suit their playstyle - and, more importantly, make them feel welcome at the table.
The Wintersong community promises that your games will be administered by a professional Dungeon Master with over a decade of experience, surrounded by people who are patient and understanding of your personal needs.
This is an 18+ community, so if you play in one of our campaigns, you’ll be with other adults who desire to maintain a positive, inclusive table. Bigotry and discrimination is not tolerated anywhere in the community! We use the Session Zero and X-Card safety tools for our group.
So, if you want to play a full 5e campaign with a group of people who won’t make you feel excluded or unwelcome, with an experienced DM, feel free to respond here or contact Restful Author#7556 on Discord!

Context: In the recent Lion Novel - Son of the Forest - the Lion and his party have recently teleported landed on the world of Avalus. The Lion is speaking to Zabriel - a Dark Angel Fallen that he has forgiven and bonded with - about his current accomodations that Avalus, without notice of his arrival, has provided him with. I found this exchange absolutely hilarious and a testament to the Lion's character development.

His suite had been prepared by this time. It was the largest available in the Moon Palace, not because the Lion had demanded grandeur but simply because to house such a titanic being in anything smaller would have seemed claustrophobic. Even so, despite the hasty acquisition of the largest items of furniture available, the proportions still looked slightly ridiculous.
"I cannot lie down on that," the Lion remarked to me after the servants had left. He was looking at a bed that was the size, I had no doubt, of many of the individual units within the massive hab-blocks. "I would break it."
"We slept on the ground often enough on Camarth," I pointed out. "Is a carpet beneath you now, my lord?"
The Lion's face clouded. "You mock me, Zabriel? I have done my utmost not to make these people feel inadequate, and when I voice my hesitation about crushing the furniture they have provided for me, you take that as arrogance?"

We were really good. He was super mature so there was an instant connect. We were compatible in all ways possible. He has anger issues but he would manage it in front of me. Till today. We were planning to get married in December and in my part of the world weddings are huge and planning is a hassle. I suffer from diagnosed anxiety and depression. All the planning today was making me anxious so I stopped all the conversation and cracked jokes and told him I am feeling anxious so let’s not discuss rn. We were meeting in an hour so I suggested we can discuss then. He got pissed at me calling my anxiety a drama. He blocked me off of everywhere. I called him, he knows I self harm and when he learnt I have hurt myself he called me psycho and a mental patient. He also told me you came in my life as a torture. We had an ensued argument on texts but then I thought how can I spend my life with someone who calls my anxiety a drama (he said that on texts when we argued). My entire life I have been ridiculed by my family for my mental illness and they have used the same term mental patient and my bf knew this and knew how it hurts me. So an hour ago, I decided to walk off an ghost him. I went and blocked him too. Deleted his number. Blocked his email address. I can’t completely ghost him because we have a business together so there are group chats with the team and I don’t want to act unprofessional, leaving the groups and creating a drama. I know I am right here. But am I? In my side of the world I am ummarriageable ( if that’s a term). I loved him a lot. But how can I be with someone who speaks to me this way? Two days back, to add, I had walked off because he told me whatever arrangements that are at my place for the wedding event, he’ll see if he approves and then will decide to come over. Did he love me? Yes. But does he actually love me? Idk. I am blabbering I know. But I refuse to cry. I have had a traumatic childhood where I was sexually abused for 8 years till I was 16. I have suffered a lot and still persevered to have a career and a good life. I always knew I will never find love and settle down. And just when I thought I can have both, he called me a mental patient. I guess some people are just born with no luck. Apologies for the rant.