990k ex life hunter

Notes:

• I am EXTREMELY busy, but I check my messages and DMs at least ONCE per day. Please be patient and wait at least 24 hours for my response if I don't get back to you immediately.
  
• I buy only in Unrevealed Key Link Format or Plain Steam Keys. No gift links.
  
• For PayPal, I am in the US region and I only send via G&S. Please note there will be PayPal fees (including international/conversion and purchasing fees) to consider.
  
• All games that you sell to me should ideally be REGION-FREE. Please ensure the games are not region-locked/bound to a specific country.
  
• You must be willing to fill a spreadsheet with steam keys.
  

 
I pay with the following:
TF2 & PayPal
 

I Buy Pixel Pride Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Celeste	1.4 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$2.81 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
All Games Above (Special)	1.6 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games Bundle Price Will Be Ready Soon	$3.21 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games Bundle Price Will Be Ready Soon
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Humble Choice (Jun 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
Curse of the Dead Gods	1.0 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$1.95 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
Ghostwire Tokyo	3.0 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$5.95 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
GRIME	0.7 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$1.45 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition	3.5 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$7.02 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
All Games Above (Special)	7.3 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games Bundle Price Will Be Ready Soon	$14.48 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games Bundle Price Will Be Ready Soon
Full Bundle (Special)	7.68 TF2	$15.28 PP

I Buy Must-Play Metroidvanias Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Blasphemous	1.0 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$1.98 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night	1.3 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$2.64 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
Hollow Knight	2.4 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$4.84 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
Rain World	0.8 TF2 Price Will Be Ready Soon	$1.64 PP Price Will Be Ready Soon
All Games Above (Special)	6.4 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$12.69 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	8.29 TF2	$16.5 PP

I Buy Luck of the Draw: Roguelike Deckbuilders Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Dicey Dungeons	1.0 TF2	$2.08 PayPal
Luck be a Landlord	1.0 TF2	$1.91 PayPal
Alina of the Arena	2.1 TF2	$4.23 PayPal
Chrono Ark	2.8 TF2	$5.56 PayPal
Tainted Grail: Conquest	3.8 TF2	$7.56 PayPal
Fights in Tight Spaces	6.0 TF2	$11.88 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	12.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$24.81 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	12.57 TF2	$25.01 PP

I Buy May Multiplayer Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Generation Zero®	0.8 TF2	$1.58 PayPal
Northgard	1.2 TF2	$2.38 PayPal
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition	2.4 TF2	$4.85 PayPal
Destiny 2: Beyond Light	1.2 TF2	$2.39 PayPal
PULSAR: Lost Colony	0.3 TF2	$0.61 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.8 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$13.5 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.98 TF2	$13.9 PP

I Buy Capcom Heroic Collection Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Mega Man Legacy Collection	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PayPal
Dragons Dogma - Dark Arisen	1.1 TF2	$2.11 PayPal
Mega Man Legacy Collection 2	0.6 TF2	$1.25 PayPal
MONSTER HUNTER RISE	4.2 TF2	$8.41 PayPal
Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection	2.4 TF2	$4.84 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	10.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$19.89 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Easy-Going Games: White Thorn Games Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
APICO	2.3 TF2	$4.61 PayPal
Lake	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	3.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$6.88 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Feel The Rhythm Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
No Straight Roads: Encore Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.63 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	1.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$3.01 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Humble Choice (May 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
Bendy and the Dark Revival	0.2 TF2	$0.48 PayPal
Builder Simulator	0.3 TF2	$0.56 PayPal
Operation: Tango	0.3 TF2	$0.66 PayPal
Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters	1.6 TF2	$3.22 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	2.8 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$5.62 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Striking Soulslikes Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Salt and Sanctuary	1.1 TF2	$2.1 PayPal
Blade of Darkness	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PayPal
Mortal Shell	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PayPal
Aeterna Noctis	1.5 TF2	$2.91 PayPal
Loot River	2.9 TF2	$5.76 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	9.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$17.99 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Fight 4 Your Friends Co-Op Shooters Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Warhammer: Vermintide 2	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PayPal
Zombie Army Trilogy	0.5 TF2	$0.97 PayPal
Back 4 Blood	2.8 TF2	$5.55 PayPal
Zombie Army 4: Dead War	1.8 TF2	$3.64 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.7 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$13.26 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	8.29 TF2	$16.5 PP

I Buy In Your Face VR Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Vertigo Remastered	0.4 TF2	$0.8 PayPal
Into the Radius VR	3.1 TF2	$6.22 PayPal
Wanderer	1.1 TF2	$2.16 PayPal
Zenith MMO	2.2 TF2	$4.32 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	7.8 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$15.43 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Humble Choice (Apr 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
Aliens: Fireteam Elite	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PayPal
DEATH STRANDING DIRECTOR'S CUT	3.0 TF2	$5.89 PayPal
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season	0.7 TF2	$1.44 PayPal
Rollerdrome	0.3 TF2	$0.58 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	5.6 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$11.23 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.78 TF2	$13.5 PP

I Buy Best of Boomer Shooters: Bigger and Boomier Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Forgive me Father	0.2 TF2	$0.39 PayPal
WRATH: Aeon of Ruin	0.3 TF2	$0.5 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	0.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$1.02 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Scary Games to Play in the Dark Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Labyrinthine	1.8 TF2	$3.54 PayPal
Propnight	0.7 TF2	$1.37 PayPal
The Blackout Club	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PayPal
The Mortuary Assistant	2.4 TF2	$4.77 PayPal
SCP: Pandemic	2.4 TF2	$4.85 PayPal
Visage	2.9 TF2	$5.83 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	11.2 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$22.23 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	11.27 TF2	$22.43 PP

I Buy Humble Heroines: Warriors, Dreamers, and God Slayers	with TF2	with PayPal
Control Ultimate Edition	1.9 TF2	$3.86 PayPal
Dreamscaper	0.2 TF2	$0.47 PayPal
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	1.4 TF2	$2.87 PayPal
Praey for the Gods	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PayPal
Sable	0.3 TF2	$0.61 PayPal
Syberia: The World Before	1.1 TF2	$2.25 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.3 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$12.53 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	8.29 TF2	$16.5 PP

I Buy Humble Choice (Mar 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
BIOMUTANT	1.6 TF2	$3.25 PayPal
Edge Of Eternity	0.2 TF2	$0.36 PayPal
Hero's Hour	0.3 TF2	$0.61 PayPal
Jurassic World Evolution 2	2.2 TF2	$4.41 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	5.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$9.86 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.78 TF2	$13.5 PP

I Buy Türkiye-Syria Earthquake Relief Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
PAYDAY 2	0.5 TF2	$0.91 PayPal
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PayPal
Mount & Blade: Warband	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PayPal
XCOM 2	0.4 TF2	$0.76 PayPal
Strange Brigade	0.5 TF2	$0.9 PayPal
Stick Fight: The Game	0.6 TF2	$1.28 PayPal
Farming Simulator 17	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PayPal
Euro Truck Simulator 2	1.6 TF2	$3.19 PayPal
Armello	0.3 TF2	$0.69 PayPal
Gotham Knights	5.5 TF2	$10.85 PayPal
Ghostrunner	1.8 TF2	$3.67 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	15.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$29.91 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Unparalleled Puzzlers Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Baba Is You	1.5 TF2	$3.06 PayPal
Creaks	0.2 TF2	$0.46 PayPal
DARQ: Complete Edition	0.2 TF2	$0.36 PayPal
Dorfromantik	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PayPal
The Last Campfire	0.4 TF2	$0.7 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	4.9 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$9.81 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	5.78 TF2	$11.5 PP

I Buy Humble Choice (Feb 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
Fallout 76	2.2 TF2	$4.37 PayPal
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous	1.4 TF2	$2.84 PayPal
Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales	0.3 TF2	$0.55 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	4.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$8.87 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Sim-ple Life Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Garden Paws	1.0 TF2	$2.0 PayPal
Lake	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PayPal
Staxel	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PayPal
Summer in Mara	0.5 TF2	$1.04 PayPal
Townscaper	0.6 TF2	$1.17 PayPal
Winkeltje: The Little Shop	1.0 TF2	$2.08 PayPal
Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles	1.3 TF2	$2.66 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$11.9 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.08 TF2	$12.1 PP

I Buy Survival Instinct Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition	1.0 TF2	$1.92 PayPal
The Long Dark: Survival Edition	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PayPal
SCUM	3.4 TF2	$6.86 PayPal
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition	3.1 TF2	$6.21 PayPal
Volcanoids	1.4 TF2	$2.81 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	9.2 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$18.35 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	9.42 TF2	$18.75 PP

I Buy In Case You Missed It: Gems of 2022 Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
PowerSlave Exhumed	1.4 TF2	$2.74 PayPal
Source of Madness	0.6 TF2	$1.12 PayPal
Supraland Six Inches Under	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PayPal
ZERO Sievert	5.3 TF2	$10.57 PayPal
Prehistoric Kingdom	1.3 TF2	$2.5 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	11.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$21.9 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Fighting Farmers Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Forager	1.1 TF2	$2.16 PayPal
Kitaria Fables	0.4 TF2	$0.75 PayPal
Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands	0.3 TF2	$0.58 PayPal
Len's Island	4.1 TF2	$8.16 PayPal
Re:Legend	1.0 TF2	$1.94 PayPal
Spirit Of The Island	1.4 TF2	$2.88 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	8.6 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$17.06 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	8.67 TF2	$17.26 PP

I Buy Humble Choice (Jan 2023)	with TF2	with PayPal
Doom Eternal	2.6 TF2	$5.21 PayPal
OlliOlli World Rad Edition	0.3 TF2	$0.52 PayPal
Tribes of Midgard	0.8 TF2	$1.54 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	4.2 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$8.31 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Best of Boomer Shooters Bundle - Holiday Encore	with TF2	with PayPal
AMID EVIL	0.6 TF2	$1.15 PayPal
Dusk	2.0 TF2	$4.0 PayPal
Forgive me Father	0.2 TF2	$0.39 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	3.2 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$6.33 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Fantastic Journeys: Middle Earth & Beyond - Holiday Encore	with TF2	with PayPal
Gauntlet™ Slayer Edition	0.2 TF2	$0.49 PayPal
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4	0.3 TF2	$0.55 PayPal
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	0.6 TF2	$1.2 PayPal
LEGO® The Hobbit™	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PayPal
LEGO Lord of the Rings	0.3 TF2	$0.56 PayPal
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	0.9 TF2	$1.77 PayPal
Middleearth Shadow of War Definitive Edition	1.2 TF2	$2.41 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	4.5 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$8.93 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	5.78 TF2	$11.5 PP

I Buy LEGO at the Movies Bundle: Holiday Encore	with TF2	with PayPal
LEGO® DC Super-Villains	0.5 TF2	$0.95 PayPal
LEGO® Jurassic World™	0.5 TF2	$0.92 PayPal
LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers	0.4 TF2	$0.77 PayPal
LEGO® Marvel Super Heroes 2	0.7 TF2	$1.32 PayPal
The LEGO Movie 2 Videogame	0.4 TF2	$0.79 PayPal
The LEGO Movie: Videogame	0.3 TF2	$0.51 PayPal
LEGO® Ninjago® Movie Video Game	0.2 TF2	$0.48 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	3.3 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$6.56 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Best of Stealth Bundle: Holiday Encore	with TF2	with PayPal
Aragami	0.4 TF2	$0.89 PayPal
Hitman Game of the Year Edition	1.3 TF2	$2.58 PayPal
HITMAN™2 Gold Edition	3.0 TF2	$5.88 PayPal
Styx: Shards Of Darkness	0.9 TF2	$1.74 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.4 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$12.67 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.78 TF2	$13.5 PP

I Buy Ultimate Racing Sim Bundle: Holiday Encore	with TF2	with PayPal
Assetto Corsa Competizione	3.1 TF2	$6.13 PayPal
Assetto Corsa Ultimate Edition	6.8 TF2	$13.53 PayPal
Automobilista 2	9.4 TF2	$18.68 PayPal
DRIFT21	0.6 TF2	$1.11 PayPal
NASCAR Heat 5 - Ultimate Edition	0.5 TF2	$1.08 PayPal
rFactor 2	4.8 TF2	$9.55 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	7.9 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$15.77 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	8.03 TF2	$15.97 PP

I Buy 2k Megahits Holiday Encore Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Sid Meier's Civilization VI	0.7 TF2	$1.43 PayPal
XCOM: Ultimate Collection	1.3 TF2	$2.56 PayPal
Mafia: Definitive Edition	2.2 TF2	$4.3 PayPal
Duke Nukem Forever Collection	0.3 TF2	$0.5 PayPal
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe	2.4 TF2	$4.85 PayPal
BioShock Collection	1.1 TF2	$2.23 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	9.1 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$18.14 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	9.62 TF2	$19.14 PP

I Buy The Tactician's Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus	0.2 TF2	$0.41 PayPal
Dark Deity	0.4 TF2	$0.83 PayPal
Gears Tactics	4.8 TF2	$9.55 PayPal
The Red Solstice 2: Survivors	0.4 TF2	$0.78 PayPal
Star Renegades	2.9 TF2	$5.82 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	7.3 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$14.48 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	7.58 TF2	$15.08 PP

I Buy Humble Choice (Dec 2022)	with TF2	with PayPal
First Class Trouble	0.6 TF2	$1.1 PayPal
GreedFall	0.8 TF2	$1.53 PayPal
Wasteland 3	1.3 TF2	$2.6 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	3.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$5.98 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Premiere VR Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Arizona Sunshine	2.1 TF2	$4.19 PayPal
After the Fall® - Launch Edition	5.0 TF2	$10.02 PayPal
Vox Machinae	3.4 TF2	$6.7 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	12.0 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$23.9 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Black Friday VR Voyager's Pack Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Car Mechanic Simulator VR	0.6 TF2	$1.13 PayPal
Cook-Out	0.2 TF2	$0.49 PayPal
I Expect You To Die	1.3 TF2	$2.67 PayPal
Sairento VR	0.2 TF2	$0.43 PayPal
SUPERHOT VR	2.2 TF2	$4.46 PayPal
Until You Fall	0.7 TF2	$1.39 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.1 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$12.08 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.78 TF2	$13.5 PP

I Buy Complete Your Twin Sails Collection Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Small World	0.3 TF2	$0.59 PayPal
A Game of Thrones: The Board Game - Digital Edition	1.4 TF2	$2.72 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	1.9 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$3.78 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy 11 Bit Studios: The Complete Collection Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
This War of Mine: Complete Edition	0.7 TF2	$1.41 PayPal
Children of Morta	0.6 TF2	$1.24 PayPal
Frostpunk	1.0 TF2	$2.04 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	2.7 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$5.36 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Humble Choice (Nov 2022)	with TF2	with PayPal
Eldest Souls	0.3 TF2	$0.52 PayPal
Hell Let Loose	6.3 TF2	$12.52 PayPal
Roboquest	0.5 TF2	$1.05 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	7.3 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$14.48 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	7.78 TF2	$15.48 PP

I Buy Day of the Devs Bundle (2022)	with TF2	with PayPal
Brutal Legend	1.0 TF2	$2.03 PayPal
Gang Beasts	3.0 TF2	$5.94 PayPal
Psychonauts	0.3 TF2	$0.51 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	4.9 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$9.69 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	5.78 TF2	$11.5 PP

I Buy Melee Mayhem Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Mordhau	1.8 TF2	$3.54 PayPal
MORTAL KOMBAT 11	1.6 TF2	$3.25 PayPal
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl	0.2 TF2	$0.46 PayPal
River City Girls	1.4 TF2	$2.83 PayPal
Chivalry 2	3.5 TF2	$6.87 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	9.7 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$19.37 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy Humble Choice (Oct 2022)	with TF2	with PayPal
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope	2.1 TF2	$4.21 PayPal
DEATHLOOP	2.7 TF2	$5.35 PayPal
Disciples: Liberation	0.3 TF2	$0.52 PayPal
Monster Train	0.5 TF2	$0.98 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	6.4 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$12.64 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	6.78 TF2	$13.5 PP

I Buy Serious Sam Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Serious Sam 3: BFE	1.0 TF2	$1.95 PayPal
Serious Sam 2	0.8 TF2	$1.57 PayPal
Serious Sam 4	4.7 TF2	$9.3 PayPal
Serious Sam: Siberian Mayhem	2.2 TF2	$4.47 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	9.9 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$19.76 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

I Buy TinyBuild x Versus Evil Smashup Bundle	with TF2	with PayPal
Hello, Neighbor!	0.5 TF2	$1.01 PayPal
Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire	1.0 TF2	$2.02 PayPal
Totally Reliable Delivery Service	0.6 TF2	$1.23 PayPal
All Games Above (Special)	2.4 TF2 + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games	$4.87 PP + You Keep Any Remaining Bundle Games
Full Bundle (Special)	TBD	TBD

 
IGS Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ggsaik/fappidydats_igs_rep_page/
 
SteamTrades Rep Page (1000+):
https://www.steamtrades.com/use76561198097671494
 
GameTrade Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/GameTradeRep/comments/ggrz1y/fappidydats_gametrade_rep_page/?
 
SGSFlair Rep Page:
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/ggag04/flair_profile_ufappidydat/

This is gonna be a long and probably confusing post, trying to get my thoughts on paper or write them out just seems impossible at this point
My ex gf(34) and I M(29) broke up just under 5 weeks ago. We were in a LDR for 8 months and I fell hard in love with her
She was married and I was single, I never pursued her because of this. Until one night we were hanging out on a discord call with friends and she messaged me telling me how attractive she thinks I am, I at first thought she was messing around and thought nothing of it until a few more messages, then she came on very hard sexually. So I decided to say fuck it and go along with it cause i always found her attractive and we vibed. (I regret it everyday, at the time I didn't care about her marriage and I know how shitty I am for it, karma has well and truly done what it needed to do to me) this continued for a couple weeks, it was highly sexual, the messages, voice notes, videos, pictures and calls. This goes on for a couple weeks and then she started to talk about how she was feeling towards me, she would call me her twin flame, say things like she's never connected with anyone the way she does me etc. I always rejected the talk of feelings because I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to catch feelings as this was purely sexual to me. Fast forward a couple more weeks and at this point we have been talking a fuck ton, about very personal things, our childhoods, our life, bonded over music, games and whatnot. She continued to push her feelings for me and I continued to keep my guard up because I didn't want to end up in this position I am now in. She told me she was going to divorce her husband, I never commented or gave advice on it because lt was not my place to do so. I did tell her to heal from her divorce, take time for herself and find herself again. She agreed and wanted to do so, so she could be fully available to me. I know at this point we had already cheated and destroyed another man but I atleast respected her for wanting to heal. She filed for divorce and we continued to talk but then the subject of love came up. I told her I will not go there until me and her are in person and know how it really feels, she agreed but then one week goes by and she tells me she is in love with me. I was falling for her and knew how I felt but wanted us to do so in person. We then became a couple... I know how fucked up it is, I really do.
She would tell me weird things like men always hitting on her, always trying to get with her, send me screenshot of guys non stop bothering her. I never asked for these things, so It made me feel weird but I never communicated it, which I know is my fault and something I've learnt. At this point we were dating and she would complain of this one guy non stop bothering her and she can't get rid of him. I told her just tell the dude you're with your bf and he will probably back off, I was not happy with her over this because it felt like she was hiding me. She apologised and we moved forward with it, then she started lying about being in other guys streams. I called her out on her lies and she would always proceed to call me jealous and insecure. Was there jealousy there? Yes? I sat with it for a while to understand why I was being jealous and all I could think about was the amount of times she would tell me about different men trying to get with her. I'm normally not a jealous man. This would happen a few times and it hurt me but I bottled it up and it came out in the wrong way. That's on me...
She also told me about a time her best friends husband tried to kiss her. Again, I dont know why she told me this but hey ho. She also told me how they both cheated on one another many times. She brought me to that house, I remember the four of us chilling in their garage having a drink, laughs and a smoke. Her friend showed me photos of a lake they all go to in the summer. As we left to head back home my gf goes on to tell me how she isn't happy with her friend, she didn't like the way she leaned over me to show photos. Then went on to say how I am her friends type and all this bullshit. I told her to take that up with her friend and leave me the fuck out of this cause I did nothing nore even notice something like that. We had a massive argument over it. Wasn't the first time she got jealous over another woman. I dont mind jealousy, i think its a normal reaction to have but as long as it doesnt become unhealthy and controlling, the other ones were minor but questions were asked about certain women liking photos on my Instagram. One I went on a date with once and the other who I worked with. That's it. Time goes on and she flew over to me (London) for my birthday. We argued that night too and she threatened to leave me, I told her if she ever threatens to do so again, I will leave her as I found it cruel. Writing this out I realise how toxic this all was. Which hits me hard because I felt like I was in love and we connected so well. I wish I communicated how I felt better, I wish I didn't do what I did and I wish I was given a fair chance to be in love. I am also at fault for this I'm fully aware.
Fast forward to few weeks ago we have a massive row again because I called her out on her lies, she called me a psycho and too possessive. I tried to explain its not that you are in another man's stream, it's the fact that you lie about it and I don't know why, she then goes on to tell me im only ever comfortable when she goes to a her other best friends house, i said yes because she seemed level headed and honest, the reason i felt uncomfortable with her going to her other friends house was because of them doing cocaine in there, which she had told me about but it was all made out to be like i was jealous because the husband tried to kiss her. It had fuck all to do with that, its drugs and she knew how i felt about drugs. But I was starting to feel like I may genuinely be highly jealous and insecure. I dont know if that's because she has made me feel that way or I am like that. I've worked hard these last 2 months to make sure that's not the case. Anyway she forgave me and we moved forward, until 3 weeks later she said this isn't working. I begged, I pleaded and I didn't understand why I was given this chance and then had it snatched from me when I was doing everything I can to work on myself
She went on to say she wants to heal because she had just gotten out of an 11 year relationship, and be by herself. I found it hard to believe considering that's what she should've done 8 months ago, like we said. Then she proceeds to tell me its because of the hurt I caused her that night a few weeks ago when we argued. I accused her of lying, which she was.i didn't verbally assault or call her names I just asked her to tell me what is going on. We were intoxicated and I just had enough of the little lies. I know that is for me to work on and put right, I will accept anything and everything I've done wrong these last 8 months. I realise I'm a shitty person and whatever came from this relationship I deserved. But I feel like I was never given a chance considering how we started. I know I never should've got with a person that was married. The trust was not there because of it but still i pushed out i felt aside and rejected my gut feelings. I tried everything to make sure we didn't do that but words and time spent together. I fell in love
Not even two weeks went by and I found out she is already dating. I knew this would happen cause she done it to her husband, who the fuck am I right? I aint special. But I'm hurting so much, my confidence is shattered and I'm lost. She said she wanted space but keeps reaching out to me, told me she will always love me and how a piece of her heart will always belong to me. Its been 5 weeks and she still reaches out, not as frequent but will send me a message saying I really do want you yo be happy, I ignored her cause seeing her face just brings me to tears, she brought up how i am ignoring her messages and i told her if she wants to talk then let me know. She then messaged me saying she hopes I'm alright, I replied saying I'm alright thanks, yourself? My heart tells me to let her go, remove her from my socials and really start to heal but I can't let go and it's killing me
I know I deserve to feel how her husband felt when she moved on straight away. I get that but I don't think I deserved the emotional abuse here, I think its emotional abuse. I'm just so confused and trying to figure it out so I can learn from this
There will be things I have forgotten or not put in because the post is long enough but if there are any questions I will answer them. I dont want this to come across as me shitting on her and blaming her for everything. I know I had my part in this and I fucked up in so many ways but I cant escape the feeling of being emotionally abused here

My ex softly ghosted me 3 months ago and we’ve been in no contact. He broken up with me for several reasons (one being lack of trust) but after the break up we still talked a week later and had sex. His communication with me wasn’t prioritized anymore and we would only talk every other day. And at this point he let me know he was seeing other women also. This caused a fight. This same day I said something to hurt his feelings during an argument we had and he ghosted me for months.
Just a few days ago I was told by someone to contact him because he told them to tell me. I called him and I asked what did he want. He gets confused and wanted to know if I missed him and wanted to come over to where I was. Which was my mother house. I told him I was busy and we could hang out later. . He wanted to come over to my house while he was out and meet my mother. Around 8 at night he calls and wants me to come over to his house but I come up with another excuse. I asked him about the “other women” he was seeing and he said he didn’t remember telling me that. Then he let’s me know we would talk later but it’s been five days since I actually heard from him. I texted him yesterday but he texted me once back and left me on delivered. I don’t know if I was supposed to be rude to him or ignore him after what he did. What should I do?
TL:DR:ex came back in my life for one day

Long time lurker and having a really hard time. I apologise if this doesn't make a lot of sense there's a lot to unpack and it's still really fresh. My ex and I have not been together in 4 years, were in no contact for 2 years, and he contacted me last year because we were at the same event. Before no contact, we were on and off for a really long time and he would exit and enter into my life every 1-2 months pulling the same "I love you, I miss you, I want to marry you" card and then after 2 weeks saying "I need space."
At the beginning of our year long contact, he had told me that him and his last girlfriend had broken up a month prior to the event and told me about 10 times since that he never loved her because he still had feelings for me (this is an important part of the story). I was in that same position as well. Recently, I blocked him again after a few situations that happened during a trip with some friends of mine. Prior to this trip, he was extremely flirty with me for about 2 weeks straight. He was telling me how beautiful I was, how our connection was still there, sending me love songs, hinting at wanting some scandalous photos (to which I sent them), etc. The day after sending the photos, I felt really just bad because he was telling me how he was thinking things about me he shouldn't be thinking about and how hot I was but also that it was "wrong" and it made me feel so insecure. So I apologised and immediately he went cold and stopped being playful and just overall fun.
So, I go on this trip, send him a photo of my group and he immediately hits on my close friend asking "who is that" with the eye emojis. It made both my friend and I super uncomfortable and I told him to back off and he immediately told me it was a joke. I left him alone for a few days to just enjoy myself and then told him that we needed to talk because that crossed a major boundary of mine and made both my friend and I uncomfortable. When I told him that he told me that it was a joke and when I said it wasn't funny and I didn't get why it was a "joke" he pretty much told me that everyone else thinks its funny and I need to lighten up. We ended the conversation and immediately he told me that he was starting to see a new girl and needed to cut some contact right now so he could focus on that relationship. I told him that was fine, but that also I needed to cut ties entirely because I don't think it was going to be healthy for me knowing that he's seeing someone and I am slightly in the picture still. Then, he didn't get it and I explained it and he pretty much told me that I needed to get over everything. He also had said he felt bad because he knew I still saw a future with him and he just never has. He goes on to say that he's been in love with another woman for 3 years and that he couldn't commit to anybody because of her, yet he was in a 1.5 year long relationship during that "3 years" of being "in love" with someone else. As mentioned previously, he told me I was the reason why he couldn't love someone else. Then all of the sudden after I set a boundary he tells me about this girl he's been "in love with" for 3 years. So I tell him I hope the best for him and that I am blocking him because I need to heal and said "you're really going to that extreme again" and when i said yes so I can heal he said "but why do you have to block me?" He has done this more times than I can count and has always found a way to contact me even when I ask him not to. I know it is my fault for answering, but I feel I'm not strong enough to not answer. I have blocked him on everything but I am afraid he's just going to show up over and over and over again. I also feel crazy for thinking like this and I am also very confused as to whether or not I over-reacted or if it is abuse. I can't ask my parents because they don't know we were back in contact and I can't ask a lot of my friends because they keep telling me "I told you so" when I just want someone to listen.

Hello everyone! I’m currently in the thick of a lot of big emotions so forgive me if some of this is kind of jumbled. I (20f) met my ex gf (19f) in high school and we recently broke up. It had to do with a few different things. I kept trying to keep the connection between us alive for long distance while on her end she was losing interest in the relationship as it had no future. I understand this and in hindsight I can see it wasn’t built to last. While we were in the three week long process of reevaluating our relationship, one of the issues that came up was that she was attracted to a guy. She told me it was a surface level crush and not anything that deep, but that combined with everything else going on with us just set me on edge. I feel if this guy hadn’t come along during the process of our breakup, I’d be more eager to be friends with her, which she really wanted as we were close friends before we got into a relationship. She’s mentioned before that regardless of our romantic relationship, I have been one of her most important connections. Yesterday, however, I told her that I could not go through with being friends with her and simply wanted us to move on separately with our lives. I feel incredibly guilty because I know that my friendship was a very important aspect of her life and she wanted me to stick around. She was understanding and took the news well and wished the best for me in the future, but I still find myself feeling incredibly guilty as I feel like I abandoned someone who needed me to stay in their life. I could really use some advice about whether or not I’m being unreasonable and cruel here.

TLDR; Hung up on a fling. Need help moving on.Last year I(43m) got divorced after 17 years of marriage, 25 years total. My ex wife(44f) was not the 37f
It had been a lengthy process with a dead bedroom, three kids who saw the direction it was heading, sleeping in the spare room, counselling, the works.
What finally made me pull the trigger on the divorce was when I opened up to a colleague (37f). For a few months we became close friends, then lovers of a sort. She was also in an unhappy relationship, and broke up with her bf soon after I broke up my family.
For a few fun filled naughty months, we found opportunities to meet, and even managed to get a couple of conferences and two weekend trips together. We had the greatest sex, we laughed, told each other everything... The works. I fell for her a little bit, and I think she fell for me a little bit. At least the air was thick with romantic nuances.
Here's the thing though. We never meant to make it anything other than a fling. She was adamant she wanted to be single, and that what we were doing was more or less just a way to feel a little happiness while still in her crappy loveless relationship. She seemed a little defensive whenever she noticed how close we had gotten. And I wanted to keep everything a secret in order for my kids not to hate me. But I never pretended not to dream about a life with her, I just accepted her premise that it had to be a temporary thing.
So... Fast forward a few months. She broke it off with me at the same time as with her bf. Or rather... Our thing had never been an official relationship, so she let it wash away to nothing rather than breaking it off explicitly.
It felt like suddenly discovering that my arm must have been chopped off sometime in the last weeks when I finally understood why we were no longer as close. But we're still friends. So much so that when we went on a conference in another country, we took the weekend off just the two of us to explore the city and have a bit of a vacation. We booked one hotel room and slept in the same bed, but nothing sexual. That was when I knew we no longer had anything romatic going on, just friendship.
She now has a new BF, or at least a tinder date that she is exclusive with, and goes on trips with.
I have the same. A tinder date (42f) that I see often, and that seems to be falling for me.
...but I'm obsessing over my colleague and one time lover. We chat and we're friends, and I don't want to lose that. But at the same time I'm jealous, I have a hard time committing to anyone else, even my kinda gf for the past 5 months. I will drop everything at a moments notice to be there for her (37f). I can't seem to shake her. I root for her at work. I get snapchat snaps from her when she's out partying, and It's both ripping me apart and keeping me close to her.
Has anyone been through something similar? I could need some guidance.

When I was living with my exwBPD, I ended up taking on all the household chores and childcare duties. They struggled with depression and felt guilty about not being able to help out much, so I tried to be as kind as possible about it to them. I often asked for help and gave them oportunities to jump back in, but they told me this made them feel guilty and judged. Eventually, I stopped asking for assistance and just did everything myself, hoping they would start feeling better over time. They used to idealize me a lot, expressing gratitude for all my efforts. They even said that without me, things might have taken a darker turn and that their kids were lucky to have me as a step-parent. They also reassured me not to stress too much about keeping the house perfectly clean, but I preferred a tidy space for myself. So, I would do my best to tidy up after them and the kids, even though it was challenging to keep up.
Things got tougher because of their shopping habits. They would often bring home new stuff, like furniture and trinkets, which made the house cluttered and less functional. Sometimes, they would forget about these items for weeks, creating a hazardous and chaotic environment.
Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn't handle all the responsibilities anymore, so I decided to get my own place nearby. As part of the plan, I would visit their house regularly and participate in their relationship/family life while having a quiet space for work and hobbies. When I discussed this plan with them initially, they were supportive. But when I actually got the keys, they suddenly accused me of abandoning them, which was a big 180. I genuinely thought they might be going through some sort of a mental breakdown as I didn't know about the BPD yet.
After our confrontation, they explained that they were afraid that I was quietly leaving them, despite my reassurances. Then, out of the blue, they decided to leave their own home, where they lived with their children, and moved in with me. They told their family that they were getting psychiatric treatment at a hospital. I thought it was only temporary, but then they simply showed up and never left.
During that period, they still didn't contribute much to the household chores. They still spent their days in bed, engrossed in their phone. They also expressed an interest in having an open relationship, which took up a lot of their already limited attention and energy. Occasionally, they would help with tidying up when their new partner was coming by, but otherwise, they didn't do much.
We never really talked about the long-term plan for their children, who were being taken care of by a family member at that point. The whole situation was confusing, but I avoided pushing the issue, thinking it was related to their mental health struggles and that they would eventually get back on their feet.
After several months of them going back and forth between withdrawal from me and excitement over their new partner, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt neglected, anxious, and emotionally drained. Their idealization of me had faded, and even though they made some kind gestures, I could sense their emotional distance, which made my clinginess worse.
One day, they suggested transitioning from a romantic relationship to being "best friends and roommates." They still didn't want to move back home. At the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant, so I agreed. But after about a month, I couldn't handle seeing them so caught up in a new, shiny relationship. Overwhelmed with emotions, I ended up crying, and they reacted by abruptly and cruelly ending our relationship. They went back home to live with their children, blaming the breakup and their return on me, claiming they no longer wanted to be a parent and that I was "subjecting them to their children". We never discussed this before, and they were the ones who initiated both the breakup and the decision to move back home with their children.
They accused me of being toxic and claimed they had been blind to my supposed toxicity for months. They even started mirroring the behaviors of my replacement, changing their appearance and preferences, and asserting that I had prevented them from being their true selves.
I was completely shocked by this sudden and significant change in their perspective. It's been three months since we separated, and we talk sporadically. They go back and forth between saying they're miserable (although I suspect it's manipulation to make me feel guilty) and how much better they feel without me "weighing them down." They even told me they no longer have feelings for their new partner, but I've heard from friends that they still spend a lot of time together and have even gone to all "our" favorite spots and date locations.
The last I heard, their house was still cluttered. However, today I found out from a family member that they sent the kids to their ex's for four days to "organize the house." That's not something they would have done while I was there. Although they liked frequently rearranging furniture and redecorating, it used to make me anxious because they struggled with the task but never asked for help. When I offered assistance once, they got annoyed, so I assumed they would ask me if they needed help. Then they complained, accusing me of not stepping in when they clearly needed help, which left me feeling like I couldn't win.
I'm worried that I genuinely had a negative impact on their life, despite my best efforts, and now that I'm not around, their home will go back to being perfectly tidy like it used to be. They blamed me for doing too much for them, saying it made them incapable while I lived there. But I always encouraged them to contribute and did what was necessary. Sometimes, they would even complain that I focused too much on housework and didn't spend enough time with them!
I'm just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation with their pwBPD and seen them genuinely make significant improvements in their life and find lasting happiness after ending the relationship.

I understand looking for support. I understand asking for advice. However, what merit or value does anything anyone on here have to say that is going to affect how your life is going to unfold in the future, potential Gaines, potential consequences……
Literally, what difference does it make if you reach out to your ex after six months or after one year or after 30 days?
Do you want your ex back? There is absolutely nothing you can do that is going to instigate them to come back to you, there’s nothing proven that works to do this. Yes, it does happen for some and the statistics of that second relationship lasting is incredibly low. Yes, there are some who come back and live happily ever after but how often do you hear about this? And it has nothing to do with success, and people not needing to come back to this sub. It Has to do with an incredibly fucking low statistical probability!
Here’s my advice, stop relying on random Internet strangers to tell you if you should, or you should not! Life is very short and very precious. If your ex was a Cunt, tell them that they were a Cunt! Or don’t it’s up to you. If you want your ex back do whatever you want But asking if you should reach out after so much time is literally irrelevant. Does anyone honestly think that it makes any kind of difference after the one-year mark or three-year mark? I had an ex reach out to me after about two years. She had a fucking affair while we were together. Do you know what resulted after her reaching out? Nothing because she had an affair and she’s a Cunt!
If my current ex reaches out, she will be speaking into the void, because I would not sacrifice a single drop of my piss to try to extinguish her vehicle if it caught fire. Like most, I have wanted more than anything to get back with my ex previously. But the reality of life is hurt People hurt people. People change. Some people were cunts from day one and you just didn’t see it until they broke up with you. Life can be incredibly fucking cruel! Learn to become strong and learn to become mentally and physically healthy Because at the end of the day, you are all you have.
When you meet someone who isn’t a cunt, good luck! Things will more than likely work out in a kind and loving way!
If your ex didn’t choose you, that’s black and white writing on the wall. No matter how much you love them and how amazing and special you think things were, they broke up with you. And reading this sub, most of them broke up with you in a cruel way, because their fucking Cunts.
One of the hardest lessons in life to learn is that people can be cruel, no matter how special you think they are no matter how much you love them even if you have previously given them one of your kidneys, they still have the capacity to be a fucking cruel Cunt!
No contact is to move on and heal! It is to “cleanse” you body, mind & spirit of the pain they caused because they did cause it! They did this to you!
Why are you here? Because they are a cunt, period!

First of all I must warn you that I hated playing Trapper avoiding playing with him whenever possible (to be honest I only gave him Prestige 03 because I want to have all the perks of the game at hand) until yesterday and so I don't know if what I did it's already a common strategy for the character, at least I've never seen a Trapper do that, anyway I already apologize in advance.
Yesterday the Hunter's Daily Ritual appeared and I thought to myself "why not?", I went with a brown addon and ended up on the red map... sorry, The Decimated Borgo/Knight's Map.
I set a trap on the pallet of the Assassin's Hut and another one outside the window, while I'm in the saga of preparing the other traps I hear a Nea scream, I drop it, I pick it up, I put my fourth charm on the hook and I go back to the hut and it's this is where the silly trick begins.
I look at the window trap and think "uh, that trap outside is too obvious, I'll put it inside" and I do, shortly after Bill gets caught in the window trap and I get one more extra charm for the my hook while having a fit of laughter, never in my life did I think such a silly strategy would work so well..
Again I stare at the trap as I open it again and think "I don't think any survivors will be so dumb as to enter the cabin through the window again, nor will I bother to move the trap". Huge. Mistake.
Bill is released, I go after someone else, when all of a sudden my favorite smoker screams, I turn around and see he's fallen into a trap... the one in the cabin... which I thought it would be a no-brainer to change her back outside the window... and I start laughing like a sick man.
Since then I started playing with the trapper more, but I still haven't had the chance to do it again, but I'm glad I did, otherwise I would never have gotten over my "prejudice" towards the character (I don't like having to use a purple addon to start with all my traps, for me that should be the usual basekit) and started buying addons, since I gave it Prestige 03 in the old system and so I didn't have any yellow, green, purple or pink addon in my inventory, just a few brown addons. 🤣

My ex boyfriend was cheating on his fiance with me ( I never knew he had a fiance). One day he accidentally added me on the video call with his then fiance now wife but I didn't pick it up( we had a fight). But out of curiosity I decided to check who the other person on the call was. So I called her and she told me she was his fiance , I was shocked she asked me who I was , I told her that I'm his girlfriend and we both were too stunned to say anything and hung up.
Broke up with him immediately after this. Few weeks later I got a call from his sister , she started yelling at me saying I was trying to break up his brother's relationship/marriage , destroy his life , etc and she started abusing me I just told her to first check her facts and then call me. I hung up the phone send all the video call and text screenshots, call recordings , pictures , etc to his would be wife.
His sister was with her at that time , she started calling me non stop and she was just abusing so I didn't attent her calls after that. His sister called me next day as well so I decided to pick it up to tell her if she keeps doing this I'll sue her but surprisingly she was calm and she apologized , she asked me about my relationship with her bother and other details and that ended there.
I got to know that he was dating his fiance for 5+ years .
Today in his sister's story (she had added me on her Instagram) I saw he was dancing with his fiance ( now wife) and I just can't believe how can a girl marry a person who cheated on her after knowing everything!
This is my 1st post and english is not my first language so please ignore any mistakes guys.

My ex and I dated two years ago and I was the dumpee. It has taken me a while to detach my value and self worth that I latched onto him and redefine it to what I want. It was very much a “I love you more” and it shows type of relationship (one-sided)
I was that nerdy looking girl who was still mastering makeup and he was kinda the opposite in the sense where he would be complimented for his looks a lot. We were in the same friend group but slowly separated from them and started going to our college gym together. I fell for him really hard and then we started dating a few weeks afterwards.
I always felt a pressure to look my best and be as sexually appealing as possible. Unfortunately, he would check out other girls in front of me and follow girls on instagram and TikTok that had more of a sexy content vibe. I told him that made me feel uncomfortable and thought he respected that boundary but I later found his secret accounts that he used to follow IG/TikTok girls with similar sex appeal content.
Sometimes I noticed he would let go of my hand and pretend it was sweaty when a group of cute girls pass by or when we were at a public space. He wouldn’t post me on social media despite being active on it and whenever I questioned him he would state that:
“I don’t want my family and friends to know yet”
Aka he wanted to be seen as available and I see that know. In private, he would be really sweet and romantic but in public he was kinda secretive about our relationship.
So over the course of our relationship, I grew a little bit resentful and when he broke up with me I took that, respected it and started seeing other people. . We stayed close friends because honestly I didn’t want to lose him and settled for any connection.
The catch is that he got angry at me when he found out I was getting serious with a date of mine and gave me an ultimatum that if I wanted to date other people we wouldn’t be friends anymore or have any connection. And vice versa, if I wanted to have a connection with him I couldn’t see other people BUT those conditions didn’t pertain to him. (I know the audacity)
We matched each other in sense of curiosity, humor and love for new adventures and he has taught me some good life lessons that I carry today but looking back, I can’t help but mourn the lovesick girl that loved a guy so much that she couldn’t see he didn’t reciprocate the same intensity.
He was an international student, and I was so willing to learn his language to meet his parents because he talked about how he wanted me to meet them and visit where he grew up, I paid attention to what he likes so I can learn more about them and basically everything you can do to show someone you love them that much.
In the end, I blocked him on everything because I was tired of feeling like a safety net or like a backup plan for him. And when I finally realized the reality of how he treated me, something snapped inside me. I felt disappointment, angry, and most of all sad that I did so much for someone who didn’t value or appreciate that.
Now, we work together and go to the same college gym. We have both been in different long term relationships and I don’t feel anything towards him and would just prefer not to see him at all tbh.
I do notice however, that he tries to be close to me whenever we’re at work, brings his new gf when I’m working as well, and he tries to get my attention at the gym by passing in-front of me multiple times or going to a machine next to me. His new gf had also made a secret account in which I blocked too.
I’m not convinced he ever really loved me. I feel like I was just there as an ego boost and to this day , in person or social media. I have maintained NC for two years. I don’t even say hi or talk to him unless absolutely necessary for work and luckily, we both work in different departments so the occasion hasn’t called for it yet. But we do work in the same general area if that makes sense.
It was hard at first, I felt the ugliest I have ever felt, depressed, and even turned to therapy for help. Being alone for the first time was terrifying, but it slowly got easier and I started to prioritize myself both physically and mentally. Because of the breakup, I was able to do my own little adventures and discover new things. I was able to get closer to my family and friends too. (And I’m better at makeup too lol) But know, that it does get better. I think getting over him was easier after I reflected on our relationship and really gave myself a no bs reality check on how he treated me but rebuilding my confidence and hesitancy to start over with someone new was really tough.
So thank you for reading this long ass rant lol, the purpose of me sharing this was to give others hope, especially if you were the type of partner to give all and receive less. YOU are worth it and the right person will make you feel that way. Just know tho, self value and self love should always come from you.

I would really appreciate some help here. I’m at a loss on what to do. Apologies for the really long post, TLDR below.
TLDR; I’m considering ending a relationship of 1.5 years with my girlfriend after her roommate and I got into several fights this past weekend over moving a couch into their apartment. Her roommate prohibited me from stepping foot inside ever again, threatened to call the cops on me, threatened to lawyer up, and accused me of aggravating her. She might have also punctured one of my car’s tires as it was flat the following day in their parking lot. My girlfriend has continuously said she understands the situation and will be coming to my place going forward, but I’m afraid of what might happen in the future since she shares her location with her roommate, have been friends for 17 years, have a matching tattoo together, and the roommate has shown to be a very explosive and volatile person. Her roommate has also been convicted in the past for assault and I’m afraid of what she might do. I feel like I don’t fully know my girlfriend and don’t know how to move forward. Should I leave the relationship or continue to fight?
A bit of a background
My girlfriend, let’s call her Ana, and I have been together for 1.5 years. We met through a cousin of mine at an outing back in December 2021 and started dating right away. Ana is caring, loyal, and has always listened to what I have to say. Our relationship has gone through some challenges, but nothing we have not talked through and somewhat agreed on - we see life differently to some extent when it comes to matters like politics and religion but have always sat down to talk through and resolve those issues. My parents did not get a good impression of Ana when I introduced them to each other, but she has worked hard to do so ever since. When we met I also asked her to go back to school to keep pursuing her degree, which she had stopped years ago, but listened to me and is currently on her second semester. It is important to note that Ana (and Betty, shortly introduced) was in a religion for 22 years that prohibited her from making friends outside of it. She left 5 years ago and had to cut all communication with her family.
While together, in June last year, I bought an apartment and moved about 1.5 hours north of her to be closer to my job. Ever since that happened we have had this sort of long distance relationship where we only see each other on the weekends - every other weekend Ana comes to visit me, staying overnight, while I do the same the weekends she does not.
Ana was living in an apartment by herself up until two months ago, when her lease was over and the landlord increased her rent by 30% or so. She had to go somewhere and asked if we could live together, to which I declined as I did not think we were ready - moving in together has been something I’ve refused to do because of a very sour experience with an ex-girlfriend. Since that was not an option, Ana decided to move into a new apartment with one of her best friends, Betty, who I barely knew. They decided to move about 30 minutes closer to me. Betty promised Ana she would take care of her, to some extent, by paying more than half of the rent and covering the security deposit. Ana does not make much money and has racked up some credit card debt which she is managing now, so the arrangement made her financially happy. It’s sort of important to note, however, that with the new arrangement Ana is paying about the same monthly rent. I helped her move out and into the new place with two other friends.
Betty and Ana have known each other for 17 or so years. They have traveled together and even during our relationship Ana, during the weekdays, has visited Betty overnight to watch movies and whatnot, without me there. At the start of our relationship Ana refused presenting me to Betty several times despite my insistence, because Betty had had serious fallouts with two of Ana’s friends and she was afraid I might not like her. Before meeting Betty I had a sense I would not like her when I noticed that Ana, when Betty texted, was afraid of not replying right away, which I thought was odd. I confronted her but she always ignored what I was saying. Other friends of Ana’s had also noticed the same. I ended up meeting Betty six months or so after Ana and I started dating, which was right after Betty’s ex broke up with her after almost five years of a verbal- and physically abusive relationship. Betty, I recently found out, has even been to jail before due to explosive episodes that have ended in physical aggression, and is currently trying to expunge her records. She was also adopted as a kid and her adoptive father has beat her for years in different occasions. Betty and I only hung out then, when we met for the first time, and one other time two months after, for her birthday. I never had any sort of altercation with her, but noticed she always had some fight with someone, always talking down on people and blaming others for her tragedies. Something that took me by surprise last year was when my girlfriend and Betty went one day to a tattoo parlor and got the same exact tattoo in the forearm as a sign of their friendship. Up until then my girlfriend only had two other tattoos that were very small - one by her ankle and another one by her ribcage. This one that she got with Betty is the only truly visible one. That day I remember being extremely surprised when she showed it to me, seeing how she had not even mentioned she was going to get a tattoo, but comes home with the biggest one she has had, and on the forearm.
Fast forward to Saturday: Betty and I lose it with each other
Moving forward to last weekend, I visited Ana at her apartment for only the second time in the last two months after she moved in. I drove over Saturday early in the morning and was greeted by my girlfriend making breakfast for me and her roommate. We all ate and Betty asked to spend the day with us, since she needed to go to the library to study for an exam, which my girlfriend and I had planned on doing, so that she could study for one of her classes. They also made me aware of a couch one of Betty’s friends was giving her for free, and Betty asked for my help to pick it up later. The day went well at the library (4 or so hours) but started to shift when we went out for late lunch after - Betty asked for spicy wings at a local bar and threw a fit when the wings came with not sauce, calling the manager of the place and insulting the cooks and staff. After that ordeal we went to UHAUL to rent a truck for the couch. Like idiots, we ended up breaking what we thought was the ignition key (it wasn’t, just an attached key for the back doors) inside the car’s key hole. This sent Betty screaming and insulting me, out of the blue, calling me an idiot and other words I cannot recall. I yelled back at her which only escalated the situation. UHAUL management stepped in and they got us a pickup truck at no additional cost. We live in a big city in South Florida. I drove with Ana in the middle seat and Betty on the passenger side for about 40 minutes to pick up the couch. It is 10PM on the dot when we get to the community where Betty’s friend lives. A security guard, as I parked the truck, approached us to say the HOA does not allow trucks at that time. Betty starts insulting him several times as I drive away and parked about half a block from the community, at a plaza right next to it. We proceeded, for the next two hours, to carry out the couch from a second floor to the first, moving it over a 5 feet wall (with me jumping over) to avoid going around the community, then walking with it for half a block and than putting it on the bed of the pickup truck. All in 90 degree humid weather.
As I am sweating and huffing while fastening the couch on the bed of the truck by myself, with Betty and Ana talking by the side of the truck, I notice Betty looks tired and miserable, to which I asked jokingly “why the long face?”. Betty proceeds to tell me I am not being funny with that question and starts to yell at Ana, saying how she is useless, how she herself (Betty) had to do everything regarding the couch and no one helped her, how “her man” (meaning me) was not able to afford a couch for her, and other stuff I cannot remember. She called me an idiot, and called me slick, and said I was not funny with my stupid jokes, and kept yelling I was not helpful. I started to yell back at her saying how it had been six hours since we had been helping her. I also, at that point, lost it all and said “where are your friends right now to help you? Holy shit, I am literally on the bed of this truck fastening your couch and you are so ungrateful”. I was yelling as she was yelling back, and in that moment the yelling match turned something like the following:
Betty - “you are so fucking useless, IT’S ALWAYS ME GETTING SHIT DONE, no help from anyone, ALWAYS ME”
Me - “what the fuck are you talking about? We are LITERALLY helping you right now, what the fuck”
Ana - “guys please stop, can’t we all just get along, please?”
Betty - “Bro you are not funny man, who the fuck said you are? I am so tired of your shit, your stupid comments and jokes throughout the day”
Me - “where the fuck are your friends to help you? You are so fucking ungrateful; you jump from dick to dick and will never find love, you have no fucking friends”
Betty - “WHAT THE FUCK. Your bitch is a whore man, she doesn’t even wear condoms. A fucking whore and a fucking submissive bitch, that’s why you are with her”
Ana - “guys please stop”
Me - “Don’t you fucking dare talk about Ana that way, be fucking respectful”
Betty - “A fucking whore is what she is, and submissive, and worthless”
At that point we are yelling at each other and Betty starts saying that I am assaulting her, and threatens to call the cops. She grabs her phone to make a call and I start filming with mine, making it very clear that at no point have I put my hands on her or planning to, at all. She starts yelling at me for recording her and bring up her lawyers and the cops, and how recording her without her consent is illegal. We are calling each other names and I continue to film. She is also in disbelief at how my girlfriend is “not defending HER”. In reality Ana was trying to stay out of it.
Needless to say, the way back to their apartment with the couch was extremely uncomfortable. It was very quiet for the first 20 minutes until Ana asked us why we can’t just get along, which made Betty go off again, yelling at how I am slick, worthless, and so many names I cannot remember. Betty said she does not want me to step foot in HER house, and continued to say she would break the lease and have my girlfriend’s stuff out of her place. When we got to the apartment I let them carry the couch inside and asked my girlfriend to bring my stuff (a backpack and a duffle bag) out of the apartment. I did not want to step foot inside for my own safety. Betty does not have a gun but I am sure she would have used it if she did, either to threaten or God knows what. As I was leaning on the frame of the door Betty asked if I would come in, to which I said no, and she also slammed the door on my face and prevented Ana from opening it, positioning herself in front of the door and yelling that “if she steps foot outside she would kick her out” to which I kept yelling that Ana is also in the lease. When Betty opened the door I told her I would call the cops if she tried one more time to hold Ana hostage inside. She went off again and threatened to lawyer up and kick Ana out. After much yelling and cries from Betty, I ended up stepping inside, closing the door behind me, and talking to them both to de-escalate the situation.
At this point it is 2AM and after much yelling I apologize to my girlfriend’s roommate for stepping over the line when I basically called her a whore. I was a total piece of shit in that regard and sincerely felt like apologizing. Betty did not apologize but she said I could stay over. She said she will forget about the whole situation and that all she needed was to cry and get over what I had said. She went to the balcony to smoke weed and I left the apartment to basically cry out of frustration. Ana followed me and after 30 minutes or so talking outside I told her I had to leave. I did not feel safe sleeping over and did not know if I could ever feel safe again in that space. I walked over to my car and drove home for an hour. I went to bed at 3:30AM and woke up at 6:50AM, took a shower, and headed back to my girlfriend’s apartment complex to return the truck which we had to do by 9AM.
Sunday: flat tire and location sharing
It’s now Sunday morning. I get to my girlfriend’s apartment at 8:15AM, where I leave my car parked, and with her on the passenger seat drive over to the UHAUL, which is about 20 minutes away, to return the truck. Everything is done on time and after getting my girlfriend’s car from the UHAUL parking lot we stop at a diner to have breakfast. We get back to her apartment at around 10:20AM and by 10:25AM we are driving over to my place, each of us in separate cars. About 10 minutes after leaving I get a flat tire notification on my car’s dashboard and pull over at a near gas station to see what was going on. The car had gone from 35PSI in one of the rear tires all the way to 15, and kept going down. I end up driving the car over to a TiresPlus close by, which later confirmed the flat tire was due to a hole on the outside which “had been caused by an object that went in and out, more than likely a screwdriver or a knife”. Needless to say I had to pay ~$200 for a new tire.
I told Ana there is no way this was coincidence and that I suspected Betty had done something to that tire. She said she did not think it could have been the case since there is no way Betty knew where I parked. I did not think that logic made sense since Betty knows exactly what car I drive and she was in the apartment, in her room, when Ana and I left earlier to return the truck. She basically had two hours to do anything. On top of that, I found out that Ana actively shares her location with Betty via iMessage, and vice versa. Ana and I also have that sort of arrangement. They have been doing it for years.
Ana and I spent the Sunday sleeping at my apartment pretty much. I could not get the situation out of my head and barely slept, but being together made me feel better. We talked about the future extensively and Ana promised me that she will cut all communication with Betty once the lease is over, but currently there is nothing she can do. She also brought up living together again, and the following day also told me how she was looking into jobs that are close to my place.
Monday: going on a break with Ana
Ana went to work on Monday morning (5AM) from my house and I worked from home. I did not get anything done thinking about the whole situation and later in the afternoon Ana and I continued to talk about it. Later at night, as Ana was sending me text messages on how she was cleaning the house, Betty was also posting on social media about it. I told the whole story to my best friend who seemed mortified about the situation and asked me to be careful. Monday night I sent Ana a long message explaining that I need some time to think about our relationship. I said that I could not trust her judgement and was afraid for what might happen if she still hangs with this crazy person not now, but in the future as we think of a life together. Will she be at our wedding? At her birthday parties? Will she be involved in our lives? Even though she has told me she will not, I know that Ana has been well aware of how Betty is but nothing has changed in their friendship these past 17 years. It has only become stronger.
Ana was very hurt from my message and called me right away. After a one hour conversation where she pushed me to decide on breaking up or continue the relationship she hung up when I told her to please give me until Friday. She does not understand how it is that I am re-thinking our relationship if it is that I love her. I do care so much about her, but have not been able to move past what happened and the fear that she might introduce me to similarly dangerous people or environments, be it with Betty or with someone else, is severely impacting my ability to think there is a future here. To keep the story short this is the third time Ana has tried to, or has introduced me to, people or situations that pose a danger to me and her. I also have not been able to get out of my head how it is that she is friends with this person, Betty, who is so visibly crazy and with whom she has a matching tattoo, years of friendship, experiences, etc.
Tuesday: Ana’s early morning call and social media login attempt
At 7:30AM of Tuesday, as I was getting ready for work, Ana called me to tell me she was sorry for blocking me on social media and on iMessage. By doing that I no longer have access to her location. I was not aware since she had done that at night, after I had asked for some time. She told me she “did not want me to think the posts from her story were directed toward me”. She also told me that “she wanted to have some sort of control seeing how I was having her wait for a decision and felt lost”. She also confessed she could not sleep and had gotten to work very early, thinking through everything in her car at her workplace parking lot. Ana begged me to please consider our relationship and after trying on the phone we hung up for the day, and have not talked since.
After hanging out with Ana I noticed I also had an unread message of a login attempt into my Instagram. That was never happened before and my mind instantly went to Betty. At this point I might be overthinking, however, after such an awful experience.
I am in a situation where I have to decide whether to have Ana move in with me, live with the fact that she is with a psycho for the next ten months, or simply leave it all behind despite how much I care about her. I don’t know if I am ignoring some red flags and that’s really the reason why I needed the time and am seeking some help on here. I don’t know if I am in the wrong and would like some clarification because I truly feel so lost. Ana has done so much for me in the sense that she listens and I know she loves me, but I am just afraid of her judgement and what she might bring into the relationship in the future. I also feel like I don’t know her like I thought.
Should I lie the relationship or continue to fight? Would sincerely, wholeheartedly appreciate some advice.

Let’s name him Mike and let’s name her Abigail. We are co-workers and work in different departments, so we rarely interact at work.
I dated Mike this year for about 4 months. I thought everything was perfect and we were even having serious discussions about future plans, family etc, but he broke up with me 2 months ago because, despite being the relationship-kind-of-person (he had only a few hookups when he was younger), he doesn’t feel “that flame”, like it’s me with whom he would spend the rest of my life with. For some reasons that are so bs and stupid I won’t even write them.
I suffered and still suffer a lot after the breakup, I was in a really dark place. My friends from work had my back, including Abigail, who is going through a divorce. Since she broke up with her ex-husband (divorce not yet finalized), she’s been sleeping around because it helps her cope with it. While I wouldn’t do that because it simply doesn’t work for me, it’s her business.
We have a group chat, me, Abi and a couple of female friends, and we discuss everything. So I know everything about her love life, who she hooked up with (also from work), and she knows how much I suffer after Mike. I admit I emphasized the bad things about Mike fearing that she might want to sleep with him too.
Her boss, though, recently transferred her to the department where Mike works. They became friends, but long story short he asked her out after flirting a lot. Mike knows Abi and I are friends. He probably doesn’t know she knows about the fact that we dated. Abi seems quite interested, a bit conflicted because I still have feelings for him, but if she wanted to, she would 100% sleep with him right away and not tell anyone.
I was so hurt and I texted him, after months of not talking at all: “Kind of a weird move to try it with my friend, who knows everything about us, hoping you’ll find “that flame” with her.”
He didn’t respond and my friends say it’s their business and Abi would at most just sleep with him and I shouldn’t care about him anymore. AITA?

My brother (M24) had a drug overdose today , he had to have cpr performed , he was dead for around 9 minutes and brought back by his uncle -( WHO gave him the drugs ) Turns out on the way to the hospital my brother had a bleed on the brain and a stroke - this is due to the overdose He is currently stable however they don't know if he will ever live a normal life again without aids or adaptations
My mum has rang my grandparents & other family members and told them a complete lie , she told them he got drunk and had a stroke and his uncle saved his life LIES
this was solely caused by a overdose .
My family are now calling my brothers uncle ( my brother is my half brother so it's not my uncle ) a hero , going on about how his uncle should be rewarded
I'm am so angry ... he gave him the drugs , yes my brother is grown but he is also a recovering addict for 1 year ! Why the hell did his uncle give him the drugs knowing that he is an ex addict .. He isn't no hero , yes he saved him but he also killed him If my brother would have died would his uncle be hailed a hero ! No But because he saved him that now disqualifies that he gave him the drugs
I feel like my family should be told the truth I'm so confused why my mum would lie like this
I just need a place to vent

So my names Hannah, this man ik my ex gfs dad constantly offers payotee to everyone now idk if he actually has it or not but he sure offers it like he does now the state I'm in its illegal to even have it In possession and ive considered talking to to the police so they can investigate and possibly put him away for good also note this man is flagged as a domesticterroristin California,to add on my ex gf is claiming I abused her but I've layed hands on her once and that was to stop her from strangling me in my sleep she claims me not being nice and not saying nice things to her made me abusive no I didn't bash how she looked in fact she was a good lookin girl but she has an issue with sharing how she felt about things that's why the relationship crashed not to mention she's possibly sleeping with her dad I've witnessed her father grope her multiple times a day I've recently had to get a PFA against her because of her false claims and I have a feeling she'll try the same bs again during this pfa I had her father's weapons removed from the house and she ended up getting kicked out if she tries it again I promise on my mother she won't get them back and I'm considering telling the police about the payotee but at the same time I want her to go about her miserable life and leave me out of it I'm engaged and have finally got my own place so she's really not a person I should have to worry about but at the same time I'm not going to be called an abuser when I'm clearly not but she lies so much that even she believes the lies herself oh and she's also said my mother deserved to die way out of line she's lucky I haven't dealt with it the way I wanted but yet again wouldn't have been able too anyway seeing as she has her family deal with any conflicts she comes into so not only is she a liar that sleeps with her dad shes a coward that can't face her problems on her own in all of this happening I just wanna bite my tounge and apologize so she'll leave me alone but at the same time she doesn't deserve any sort of apology so AITA for wanting to send her dad to prison and removing her guns from the house again? Or should I apologize?

The pain of the break up is mostly gone. I’m not really hurting bad anymore. But I still miss them. I made the mistake of viewing their social media because I was curious and they seemed happy.
It’s been 4 years since we broke up. I’ve done a lot of healing. Focusing on myself and finishing up college. But I’ve been smoking and drinking because life has been stressful.
Maybe I miss more of what my life use to be? People use to want to hang out with me. I feel like I was actually happier then. But Covid happened and the stress of family, work, and school all got to me. And throughout the years I realized nobody really cared about me except for my family.
So losing my ex mad me depressed for a while because they were the very few people who cared. It just seems like life has been okay but not great.
Is anyone else in the same situation? Where it’s been some time since the break up and you feel like it was another life.

Waking up next to Stanton, our clothes were all over the floor. Blushing at last night’s activity, I checked the time. A loud scream burst from my lips, the book club was in ten minutes. Crashing to the floor, Stanton stirred awake. Panicking at the time, the floor shook as he crashed to the floor. Searching for anything to wear, he was already tugging on a black band t-shirt and ripped jeans. Fixing his hair, my hand settled on a black and white striped swing dress. Slipping my feet into my boots, he brushed my wild hair into a simple side bun. Kissing me on the forehead, he dropped a random book into my palm.
“I will hang out with the husbands to analyze their behavior. Get those hens talking about their men.” He said simply, ignoring what we did last night. “Try and drink some coffee with them. Tell them that you have a stomach sensitivity.” Focusing on the book, scarlet colored my cheeks. It was one I had written and published fifty years ago, his brows furrowing.
“You’re telling me that I have to go and sit with a bunch of women while they misinterpret what I wrote.” I groaned bitterly, wishing that he would acknowledge last night. “Whatever. At least I know the plot.” Hooking his elbow into mine, we walked across the street. The husbands welcomed him with open arms, Susie yanking me in. Pulling me into the kitchen, she slid me a cup of coffee, my stomach churning. While most vampires enjoyed it, I despised it with a burning passion. Taking a sip, the pungent taste reminded me of a bunch of pennies.
“Tell me about sleeping with him. Was it fun? My husband is so boring.” She pleaded desperately, pressing her palms together. “I also asked for you to come because you look a lot like my favorite author.” Hitting the wall, a secret shelf with every single book I wrote covered every inch of the damn space. Think of an excuse, you idiot. Stanton looked up from his own conversation outside, my lips pressing into a thin line.
“My mother wrote them.” I lied seamlessly, Susie buying into it. “She was a lovely woman.” Lie, that was a lie. My mother was a poor Irish vampire who ditched me at the ripe age of three, her next question causing me to spit my coffee out.
“When is the sound of tiny feet entering your home?” She trilled sweetly, cupping my hands. “You are the first to know that I am pregnant now. I have been trying for years. Maybe you can get pregnant soon and we can have them be best friends.” Horror hid behind my polite smile, a long squeal escaping my lips. Like hell I would go along with her sick little plan. Something felt off, my vision blurred. A purple liquid swirled on top of the coffee, my body hitting the floor. A rough darkness devoured me as coffee pooled around my head.
A yellow light swung over my head, something else feeling off. Clammy sweat drenched my skin, a fever burning my cheeks. Susie towered over me, a spike spinning in her palm. Attempting to crawl away, her heel dug into my back. Unable to move, this felt like something else. The desire to take Stanton nearly controlled my mind, the claws extended from my fingernails. Spinning another needle of the liquid in her palm, she jammed it into my leg. Extreme nausea wracked my body, the beginning of a heat cycle disabling me. Parting my lips to speak, I needed his blood to survive or that was what it felt like. Only wheezes poured from my lips, she jammed another needle into my leg. Sending me into the next stage, every touch raised an incredible amount of goosebumps. Shivering in my spot, the last time I felt this was one hundred years ago when a handsome stranger caught my eye.
“I used to be a hunter.” She bragged gleefully, sitting down on top of me. “We have to finish before the book club arrives, you fucking idiot. I meant what I said about you getting pregnant around the same time. I know the serial killer lives among us. You have to trust me with that.” My eyebrow twitched with a mixture of bewilderment and irritation, a snarl curling on my lips. All of this was too much, my knee meeting her face. Crawling onto the living room floor, my legs felt like rubber. If she hit me with another needle of that liquid I would be pregnant within the next few days. At the current level in mine, three months remained before anything had to be done about that. Stumbling out, blood poured from her nose. Struggling to my feet, my shaking fingers opened her fridge to see what I needed. The process had already begun but I could delay it for a while. Pulling out a needle full of a milky liquid, she cried out as I jammed it into my thigh.
“I am not ready for that quite yet, Miss hunter!” I shouted vehemently, fuming darkly on the stool. “How can I know that you aren’t the serial killer?” Pausing in her spot, her slender hands jammed her nose back into place. Wiping the blood out from underneath her nose, she sat down across from me. Chuckling softly to herself, her fingers drummed on the stainless steel counter top.
“They killed my sister and her family a couple of weeks ago. I have nothing to gain from this.” She informed me briskly, holding her stomach. “I am the neighborhood watch and I can’t stand that someone is slicing their way through our little piece of paradise. Revenge is in my plan but now I have to be careful.” Seeing things through her point of view, the fact that she sped up my natural reproductive cycle ticked me off.
“I figured I might kick start things for your body. The sooner you get pregnant the happier Stanley will be. I always catch him watching the families walking by with a longing look. I am only doing it because he doesn’t suck up to me which makes him my favorite stranger.” She expressed with her real smile, pointing to me. “You are a purebred vampire. Such luck should be blessed in your eyes. You can give birth without dying. I met you once when my old man came to talk to you in your jail cell. I don’t know if you don’t remember him but his name is Father Rowell.” All of my breath escaped my lungs at the mention of his name, my mind flicking through the memories of every person who had visited me. Come to think of it, a redheaded woman did accompany a priest that one time. How did I not make the connection? Laying my head on the table, several women ran in. My eyebrow twitched, the perfectly dressed woman interrupted our conversation. A sea of blonde haired women shoved me aside, a couple of them shooting daggers from their eyes. Stepping back, Susie tugged me close to her. A bout of nausea wracked me, the combination of the potion she had injected with me mixed poorly with my sudden social anxiety. Dropping a tray into my palm, her gentle touch dragged me to the four ivory walls she called her living room. A brown leather set reminded me of my cell, the tray crashing to the floor. Glass shattered everywhere, my immediate response was to run. Apologizing profusely, I bolted out the door. Ignoring their looks, I ripped off my boots. Sprinting down the street, a masked individual slammed into me. Crashing to the ground, the pavement felt cool against my face. Still weak from earlier, I couldn’t just fight them off like normal. Quivering on the pavement, a disguised voice sent chills up my spine.
“Goodnight, my dear!” The robotic voice laughed evilly, a knife slamming into my body repeatedly.” Copper poisoned my taste buds, the person whistling. A rusting van pulled up, the license plate number 568 4325 stuck into my memory while my blood pooled underneath me. Tossing me into the van, Stanton barely made it onto the street. Locking the door behind me, I leaned against the wall. Pulling out my silenced phone, my vision blurred as I turned on my location. Hiding my phone behind a dusty box, a darkness swallowed me alive.
Jerking awake once more, this trend had to stop. Groaning in pain, a yellow light swung over my head, a rough rope cut into my wrists. Struggling only made the knot tighter, the killers having to be boat owners, hunters or some sort of boy scout. Glancing around, no weapons lay around. Talk about being professional. Muffled yelling stole my attention, a filthy redhead tugged on chains against the wall. Two small children hugged her side tightly, silent tears staining their cheeks. One, a pair of worn steel toe boots came into view. Two, the other shoe appeared. Three, his masked face poked around the corner. Four, Five, Six, one of the killers were at the bottom of the stairs. Seven, he towered over me at six foot seven. Lifting up his mask, relief crashed over me at the sight of an anxious Stanton. Seconds from cutting her rope, the boss stomped down the stairs. Pulling his mask down, the boss cleared his throat.
“Cut off her fingers until she talks about how she found us.” He demanded via a thick distorted voice. “Never mind, give me the knife.” Snatching it from Stanton, he could only watch with horror as the man held my finger straight. Three red dots blinked in the corner of my eyes, the operation making sense. This asshole was running a torture to murder show, a lump forming in my throat.
“Thank you for your payment of a million dollars. We shall gut her like a deer.” He mused darkly, tracing the knife along my flat stomach. “Then I will play with the guts to please you.” A scream burst from my lips the moment the blade glided across my stomach. Fighting the urge to vomit, my steaming guts poured out onto my lap. Playing with my intestines, the money began to pour in. Choking on the blood building up in my throat, a hack sent it all over his mask. The questions were sick, a clammy sweat drenching my skin.
“We have a vampire.” He announced with wicked laughter, my heart sinking in my chest. “This is going to be fun.” Stanton held his composure, the back of the metal chair bending underneath his grip. The heat potion kicked in, one accidental touch clouding up my mind for a moment. Bending down to my level, his next words sent chills up my spine.
“The boys are coming. We have to keep him occupied for about thirty minutes.” He growled through gritted teeth, the man asking him to run the computers. Touching my shoulder one last time, the chair squealed the moment he sank down into the chair. Shoving a slender flash drive into the USB hole, he was gathering the IP addresses. Shoving my guts back in, childlike wonder brightened the killer’s tone at my wound sealing shut. Susie’s sister held her hands over her kid’s eyes, the knife sliding in and out of me. The wet noise did little to help me, the potion making my stomach churn worse than normal. The money kept pouring in, the welcome sound of chaos woke me up from my sickly state. The agents from before piled down the stairs, Stanton ripping off his mask. Cutting the rope, his touch made me jump a couple of feet into the air. Popping to my feet, every footfall echoed in the concrete cell. Assisting Susie’s sister, her arms embraced me desperately. Every emotion soaked my shoulder, another touch from Stanton resulted in a tender blush on my cheeks. Shooting me a thumbs up, his lips brushed against the top of my head. Helping the woman to her feet, Stanton scooped up the children. Bright flashes blinded me, the news crew attempting to speak to us. Climbing into a tinted SUV, the children bounced into their mother’s arm. Fishing around a bag, he held out packages of cheddar crackers. The boys accepted them graciously, the car heading towards the hospital. The door ripped open, nurses ushering the family inside. Scanning me up and down, Stanton held me by my hips. Sniffing me real quick, fear flashed on his face. Not having time, Susie smashed into me. Desperate tears flooded from her cheeks, her quaking hands cupping my face. A deep crimson painted my cheeks, a newfound respect for me glowed in her eyes.
“Thank you so much for saving them. I don’t know how I could ever thank y-” She blubbered uncontrollably, my hand raising to stop her. Smiling brightly in her direction, this reaction made it all worth it. My lips parted to speak, a nurse dragging her off before I could explain myself. Stanton dragged me back to the car, a snarl twitching on his lips. Slamming me down into my seat, the partition hummed its way up.
“Your heat is supposed to be for another year! Why do you smell like you are three months away?” He demanded hotly, the crack of my hand meeting his cheeks stunning the both of us. How dare he ask after not talking about last night! Clenching my fists into a ball, I turned my back.
“You haven’t talked about last night. We had fun and you acted like nothing happened!” I blurted out venomously, happy to have it off of my chest. “You already forced me into a marriage, and now you want me to ignore what happened last night. Fuck you. I had fun but here you are. Was it that bad? Susie sped me up so we could be pregnant around the same fucking time. Did you know she used to be a hunter? She opened right up to me. In fact she knew me.” Spinning me around to face him, an apologetic smile dimmed his features. A piece of hair fell in front of his left eye, his hands rubbing my shoulder.
“I can’t tell you why that all scares me.” He mumbled under his breath, sliding me a large emerald box. “You need to get changed into your uniform to enter the facility.” Peeling off my destroyed dress, his eyes couldn’t leave the angry scars covering my body. Flipping the box open, I pulled out a lightly armored leather number. Tugging it over my head, the onyx leather covered my arms. Hiding my bloody hands underneath the bell sleeves, the deep v-neck showed off my ample breasts. Sitting back in the seat, the A-line skirt floated away from my body. Scooting closer to me, he offered me his neck. Sinking my fangs into his tender flesh, every gulp revived my health. Curling my arms around his neck, he drank away. This time a wave of euphoria crashed over me, a long sigh pouring from my lips. Unable to stop, fright rounded my eyes the moment his hand curled around my neck. A muffled protest stopped him, an oppressive silence hung between us. The car skidded to a halt, an impressive navy marble building towered over us. Helping me out, the numb look on his face scared the shit out of me. Marching in aggressively, the way he was acting reminded me of the first time I met Father Powell. Hugging him from behind, his muscles relaxed.
“We all lose control at times.” I assured him lovingly, the tone taking over my voice for the first time. “If I can gain control, you can do it.” Cupping my trembling hands, an agent was attempting to remember the plate number. Typing it in for them with my free hand, a grateful expression met my exhausted face. My legs gave out, Stanton placing me on his back. Ignoring the jeering whispers, the rumors spread within minutes. Bursting into the interrogation room, a shaggy haired man with angry dark eyes watched him set me down in the chair across from him. An unkempt beard danced with every growl in his throat, his scarred face informing me of a rough life.
“I am not the only one in this plot. Do you remember that serial killer club on the news a couple of years ago? I am the bottom tier.” He bragged gleefully, the sweet smell of poison wafting from his mouth. “We must all die with honor.” His heart beat one last time, Stanton calling for help. Help wouldn’t come soon enough, this was a magical poison. Dragging him out of the room, I climbed into the driver’s seat. A skill I had learned the moment cars had been invented, the modern car proving far easier to drive than those things. Stanton hopped into the passenger seat, my fingers typing in an address into the GPS. Driving for too long, the brakes squealed to a halt in front of a bustling night club. Taking off his tie, the poor thing floated to the back. Roughing up his suit, he protested as I messed up his hair. Letting my hair down, a familiar face had to be spoken to. Sauntering up the door, the bouncer let us both in. Loud music worsened my migraine, a scantily clad blond guided us up to the office. Opening the door, my fingers curled around the neck of my old friend. Pinning him to the wall, his scarlet curls bounced around. Ruby eyes glowered back at me, his garish velvet suit irritating me further.
“Who are you selling your poison to, you fucking idiot?” I interrogated him intensely, Stanton yelling at me to calm down. “I know what you sold to Susie. That I can let go but sell some sort of poison to a serial killer after school club! You are playing with fire.” Cocking his brows, he slammed his knee into my chest. Every rib shattered upon impact, all the breath leaving my body. Coughing on the floor, he picked me up by my hair.
“I refuse to let a runt like you run my life. I sell my magical drugs and that is that.” He snapped hotly, my bones fusing back together. “I don’t know or care what they do with them.” Wicked laughter rumbled in my throat, the heel of my bare feet slamming into his jaw. Raw energy built around my fist, his bones shattered upon the impact of my fist. Sliding down the wall, my bruising fingers picked him up by his collar.
“I don’t care that you make drugs. That isn’t my department but when they are used for suicide I have an issue. Who ordered it!” I screamed furiously, a glob of spit landing on my face. “Just answer the fucking question. I will break every bone in your body. You still owe me for you selling me out. I fucking let you keep the reward money.” Clicking his bones back into place, he struggled to his feet. Unlocking his cabinet, he pulled out an ancient ledger. Dropping it into my palms, he sulked to his desk.
“Take it. I have to start another one anyway. I will call you if somebody uber weird pops up.” He commented kindly, pulling out a new one. “Don’t charge me, ‘kay. I provide loads of hunger suppressants for the monsters in the area. I also help monsters get pregnant faster. The poison was only meant to be sold for someone who was going to die. You know that I can see reapers as well as you can. Watch your temper with that heat potion coursing through you. Your powers are going to be a little wacky for a bit.” Mouthing a silent thanks, a triumphant grin spread cheek to cheek. Walking through the club, another discussion had to be had once we got into the car. Climbing in, dread bubbled in my gut.
“Give up why you were in prison.” I demanded sternly, leaning on the steering wheel. “Don’t lie. I can sniff that shit out.” Tears welled up in his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. Storm clouds rumbled to life, heavy raindrops crashed to the top of the vehicle.
“You weren’t my first partner.” He uttered bitterly, chewing on his lips. “I had a romantic relationship with her and she turned out to be the serial killer. The bodies piled up behind me, and I didn’t even know. We were incredibly intimate. She lied with the biggest smile on her face. I enjoyed our evening together and that you only drank from the serial killers to survive. She was what the agency calls a binge eater. Devouring person after person and I was the one to put her down. The difference was that I didn’t love her like I love you.” Covering his mouth, a further explanation needed to be heard.
“What do you mean by love me?” I asked politely, attempting not to lose my cool while pulling into a Cally’s. “Don’t lie to me. I have been through enough hell today.” Refusing to look in my direction, my hands cupped his face. Gritting his teeth, his hands cupped mine.
“I observed you for months and fell in love with the way you helped the prison when you could. I loved it when you would spend weeks buried into an inhumanly huge pile of books.” He choked out awkwardly, fresh tears flowing from his eyes. “I sound like a creepy stalker but I needed to make you my mate from the instant you met me.” Nodding my head, my lips kissed his hungrily. Scarlet colored his cheeks, his hands falling to my flat stomach.
“I love you too.” I choked out just as awkwardly, hoping not to upset him further. “Watch this book, I will be right back.” Swiping his wallet, I ran into the department store. Ignoring the bright lights and horrid smells, I paused in the baby section. Closing my eyes, the sweet sound of my mother singing an Irish lullaby soothed my nerves. Snapping awake, a tiny girl had crashed into my legs. Instead of crying out in fear, she began to giggle.
“You are so pretty.” She sang adorably, her horrified mother scooping her up and running away. Getting a couple of packages of toy cars and a beautiful bouquet of white roses, hurt dimmed my eyes at the cashier watching me in pure terror. Paying for the items, silent tears stained my cheeks. Not saying a word, I punched in the address for the hospital. Cursing to myself, we were four hours away. Setting the stuff in the back, I chose to turn on the radio to drown out the chaos in my mind. Sobbing the whole way back, this world was no different. The only thing missing was the torches that had hunted my mother down. Getting there in record time, I ditched my partner to catch up to me later. Stopping at the desk, the nurse didn’t show the same fear as the people in the store. Tucking a loose piece of caramel hair behind her ears, her gray eyes twinkling with joy.
“Thank you for bringing them in.” She returned with a genuine smile, pointing to the last room down the hall. “Visiting hours are over. Surely, they want to see their hero. I will pretend I looked the other way.” Winking in my direction, she turned her back to me. Running to their room, an exhausted Susie lay on her sister’s bed. The children perked up at me, smashing into my legs. Crouching down at their level, I presented the packages of cars. Pecking my cheeks, they ran off to go play with them. Rising to my feet, I presented her with the flowers.
“How does your sister like her coffee?” I inquired with my genuine smile, the mother’s expression softening into a gracious smile. My lips parted to speak, the woman’s head shaking. Coughing a bit, blood covered her hand. Seconds from pushing the nurse button, her raspy voice stole my attention. Stanton hovered in the door, the mother’s heart monitor going nuts. Looking closer, a bony hand rested on her shoulder. Following the arm, a reaper held her shoulder. Death had come to her, the option not working for me.
“Is there anything I can give you in return?” I begged with my palms pressed together, knowing that those kiddos needed their mother. “How about this?” Snapping my fingers, my stolen reaper’s scythe rested in my palms. Snatching it from me, the cold hand curled around my neck. Gasping for air, his yellowed skull hovered inches from my face. Biting down on my arm, he gulped down enough to figure out who I was.
“I recognize your stupid face.” A chilly voice thundered evilly, the other finger playing with my hair. “You vampires are the bane of my existence. I can’t take your souls when there's none to take. I will spare her this one time but she will have to go next time regardless of what you have.” Dropping me to the floor, he was gone. Coughing up a storm, one of the kids hit the button. A look of horror dawned on his face, his tiny body smashing into my legs. Crouching down to his level, he shivered in my arms.
“Was that a reaper?” He stuttered brokenly, my head nodding. “Will they ever hurt me?” His tight red curls tickled my face, the other twin watching from a distance. Their emerald green eyes watched me as the nurse brushed past me.
“No, they won’t.” I promised them warmly, taking him to the waiting room. “Let’s go play while they take care of your mom, ‘kay.” Susie snapped awake, picking up her other nephew. Crashing into the nearest chairs, they played with their cars. Susie rested her head on my shoulder, snores echoing in my ear. Letting her sleep, I was thankful for my current life.

It was like out of a dream when my twin flame and I were seeing each other. We’d joke about how we were “basically the same person” and it was creepy how much we had in common.
She broke things off and said she needed to work on things but couldn’t understand why she was feeling the way she was and that she never felt like it before, judging how much chemistry we had and how authentic and surreal it all was I knew she couldn’t bullshit it so I was wondering what was going on.
I was in an era where I was just so hurt and searching for answers as to what went wrong and I had a dream about her and then the numbers “444” jumped out at me and I woke up.
I had no idea what it meant but I literally felt a sense of calm come over me and it lasted for days until twin flame was a word that came popping up on my tiktok all the time, so I got curious looking as to what that was and it was the only thing that ever made sense as to what happened. From first meeting, the runnechaser dynamic, etc.
I never understood why she seemed that she wanted me so bad and she was holding herself back.
The first time I said i’m quitting this and i’m going to try moving on for my own mental health… Her ex boyfriend whom i’ve never heard of followed me on instagram. Which puzzled the hell out of me.
I was so worried about being delusional that I would consciously deny the connection and the moment my brain goes on autopilot I’m subconsciously aware of the connection.
It really is like the universe is fully assuring me that this is a real thing and that she is my TF. Things keep happening where i’m like “you can’t make this shit up” lol.
We are still in separation but I am at a stage where all my deniability and fears in the connection have subsided and I wish her the best in life. With or without me :).

All of my life I've fallen in love with people, and it's never been reciprocated. Some of the guys even end up using me to ask out my friend. It hurts to be seen as just a means to an end. As just a tool to be used to get to someone better. Though recently, things have been different.
There's this guy friend who recently got back in touch with me telling me that he broke up with an ex, and based off what he's told me the relationship wasn't healthy. He told me that he felt alone, and asked if I wanted to hang out with him. I of course said yes, as I missed him (the last time we hung out we were in high school, and we've now just gone through our first year of college). We've been going to parks and talking about life, getting to know each other better. He's been teaching me guitar. We've been venting to each other about how alone we've felt, about how we're both suicidal. We've been encouraging each other to keep going, and that life will get better. For a moment, I believed that. Hanging out with him made me enjoy living again. He even gave me the strength to stop hurting myself. It's been 46 days since I last harmed myself, and I couldn't have done it without his help.
But today he told me he started hanging out with his ex again. I wasn't sure what to say, so I just said that I'm glad he's happy, because he said he was. He then told me that "she's a good friend". That really hurt. I didn't respond to him. I didn't even leave him on seen, I just ignored the notification. I turned off my phone and I've just been laying in bed feeling miserable. I was a fool for developing feelings for him. I knew he was emotionally unavailable, but I fell for him anyway. And now I'm paying the price. I'm in so much pain. So much so that I've been wanting to relapse. But I can't do that to myself. I've been clean for 46 days, I can't just end that because of a guy. I feel like I'm going to die. I want to die. I know I'm probably being dramatic, but he's been the one good thing in my life recently, and he just started hanging out with his ex again.
I probably wasn't even important to him. Maybe he was just using me to feel better, then left as soon as he got the opportunity to be back with his ex. I really need someone to talk to. Does anyone know how to make this pain go away? Should I keep talking to him despite how hurt I am? I really want to, but right now I feel like he doesn't even care about me. I don't want him to be with his ex, the relationship wasn't healthy, I just wish I knew how to help him. I feel unlovable, like I'll always be used by others and that I'll never be seen as anything more than just a means to an end. I feel so alone, can someone please talk to me? I would really appreciate other people's opinion of what I'm going through. I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't see the point in living anymore.

Dear fellow INFPs,
I'm addressing this to people who feel like they're stuck mentally. Let me start off by saying eveyone has their own issues, some just bigger than other. Some have more unfortunate situations, others have not-so-bad situations but they experience them negatively, and then there's people who see the beauty of life. Whether you started out with getting help or not, I hope this piece gives you insight in what to do, but especially.. in what order. Looking on the internet there are 1001 ways of therapy, all kinds of guru's who tell you this is THE way! The ONLY way! I mean sure, much of it comes down to the same thing over and over again, but I'm convinced that some things are better before other. Take this account from someone who has been through it, who has tried 101 things, picked the useful ones, who got stuck multiple times, but ultimately can tell you my best experiences. But who am I, except for just another random dude on the intenet?
Where to even start. I've been thinking of writing this piece for a long time but always found reasons to postpone. Ironically. I've been insecure, depressed and suffering from general anxiety disorder for most my life, at least until some time ago. After I tasted the first moments of happiness I made it my mission to keep moving forward, every day possibly better than yesterday. Nine years, a lot of therapy and many hours of psychology self-study later, I want to share with you what I've learned in a condenced form. I'll start off with a little background information. Then I'll follow up with a listed summary followed by why I think doing it in that order is important. Lastly, I'll list a bunch of my sources that helped tremendously. I don't want to make this a feel-sorry story about me so I'll keep it short just for context. If you believe me for my word you can skip one paragraph.
I come from a family with an ISTJ dad and ISFJ mom, both horribly emotionally immature, unavailable, unpredictable and very suspicious of other people. They love me and my brother but were the worst in showing it. My dad hardly talked and stopped playing with us after a motor cycle accident. My mom was burned out most of the time and ready to explode. Now, what kind of things would that teach your kids? They had their own terrible experiences and upbringing, into which I won't go. Not to mention I was born 10 weeks early, lay alone in a machine much time with cordasol basically already coursing through my veins. All in all, me (the quiet good boy) and my brother (the ADHD ESTJ rebel) had completely different lives. He went all out in the rebel behaviour with his gang, vandalism and drugs, whereas I found out about Maplestory and built up an alternate life there, eventually also with drugs. (Real) friends, what are those? Getting beat up twice as freshman, who cares. The Fight/Flight/Freeze response was strong and consistent already at 15 y/o. I didn't know it at the time but the result was a near-permanent pressure on the Solar Plexus, always being tired and having burst of sweat when I came in social situations. The sweat didn't particulatly make it better. You want to try that new thing? Ah better not, you hurt yourself once as a kid so now everything is too dangerous.
The result is what you may expect. A very quiet, badly nail biting, skitterish mommy-child ' adult' who bursts into tears on random moments when alone, never knowing exactly what causes the pain. My first steps in self improvement happened by accident when I went off for further education in the capital. One roommate of mine studied psychology and he introduced me to a mindfulness training.
This is where it starts.
But now? What good is my story without a testimony? Now I'm finally starting a career, regardless of some obstacles. I don't nail bite anymore and handle stress way more easily. I was the star waiter of our restaurant and I'm having my first stand up comedy gig next week as well as acting school. Right now I work as the "very likeable" office manager at a sustainability company. Not everything is perfect, e.g. attachment to a partner and my ability in decision making, but it's all a process. Step by step. Keep your target (happiness?!) in mind and keep going.
(Step one and two are not processes but rather state of mind from which to work on. Let it sink in but don't get stuck on it.)
Step one: Acceptance of your own imperfection. It's okay.
This step sounds obvious but I don't think it is in practice. Too many people I've talked to are ready to talk about the bad things that happen in their life but as soon as you start about their OWN role in the situation, they will get all defensive and maybe even antagonized. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has bad experiences that colour their judgement of things and the way they act. Only if you accept this and what you have done in the past as fact, only then you are open minded enough to change. Otherwise, whatever you'll learn what could've helped you, you'll dismiss from your mind as soon as you leave the therapist, either from stubbornness or as a unconscious selfdefence reflex because you don't accept that yes, also you have weaknesses. This counts especially for people whose insecurity is being percieved as weak, dumb or unlikable. You see, if your insecurity is that you're not good enough, then how painful is it to accept that yes, you have inherent flaws? LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE? That's what keeps people from learning. That's what's keeping people from changing. Accept that you're not perfect and have things to change. Why else are you looking for help? It's like an addiction where you don't like the addiction but the alternative seems worse.
Lastly, know that your perception of others is probably not true. Only you know you because you know your thoughts. You don't see the mind of other people. If only you knew. Other people may seem saint-like but they aren't. Even the nicest people have some dark(er) characteristics and their own insecurities. Once you recognize this you may not feel so crazy anymore. Guess what, the battle between your little devil and angel is a human thing. The difference, though, is that you're open to change. The difference is that you are not in denial or oblivious of your mistakes like your aunt Hilda.
Step two: Accept your own agency and so reject victimhood.
Let me introduce you to my ex-roommate Petrus (pseudonym), who always talked about his troubles in life and how life failed him. The thing is, he'd always go on and on about how it was the effing police who fired him, how it was the effing insurance company who effed him over, how it is the effing women who are all whores and bitches anyway so why bother. His near-exact words. Never him, though! Oh no, that would receive a "yea sure.... but..!" with a scowl. While deep down all this talk is fueled by deep rooted insecurities and pain. You think you're not like that, and you're probably right. At least not to the same degree as he. Be ready to take responsibility for your own (re)actions.
I understand that doing step one and two are actually quite hard. I just mean to point out that as long as you are aware of them, you can change. You'll find out along the way in what ways your own behaviour has shaped your life so far, and what you can do in turn to change it. Life is like a beach, it is up to you to make your sand castle with upcoming waves and running kids. Like everybody else. The roommate mentioned above never accepted his agency and so did NOT have any results from the same therapist that I had. And whom he quit after one session. Scary, I know.
I cannot stress enough that self-reflection is key for anyone who's willing to change !!!
Step three: What do I feel and why?
Or in other words: the popular phenomena called Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. What it boils down to is the focus on self-awareness, to get a good insight into your own emotions and how it subconsciously affects your daily life. Before you quit reading: this is only the start. It is the difference between your mask and your underlying feeling. For instance, I would have the emotional 'mask' of being the joker and pleaser, only because WITHOUT doing that, I'd feel... well, uncomfortable. Now this uncomfortable feeling is important to figure out. For me I could summarize it with "I am not enough" and "I am not likeable". God it sounds so simple in a few sentences but this is a process of trying and trialing, where you'll think it was one thing, but it was something deeper, or they could all be summarized in one overarching insecurity. Finding out your mask personas is an important but scary step. Without your mask you'll feel remarkably vulnerable.
Now, I do not know where you are or if something similar is near to you. However, a good therapist will help you decipher your insecurities and underlying sadness. Understanding what you feel and why is step 3. You will NOT get here just through talking about your day unless the other specialist knows what they're doing, for the simple reason that many people are unaware of many of their reactions in daily life and what childhood trauma's they may have surpressed. Otherwise you'll just repeat the lines you tell yourself without going deeper. Such therapists should have their license revoked ffs.
Step three 'n half: grounding a.k.a. to get into contact with your feelings
There's much to be found online about grounding so by all means find other technique if mine doesn't work for you. I'd suggest you first try the most common way. Don't, the more you do it the faster you can do this. It takes me 20 seconds tops. Anyway: sit up on a chair without distractions nearby, eyes closed, hands on lap, feet on the ground. Take a couple of deep breaths. 4 seconds in, hold 4 seconds, 4 seconds out. Blow out like you blow out a candle. While you do this you repeat to yourself ' relax' or 'calm' or 'it's okay, you're safe' or whichever works for you.Then, take all your attention to your left foot. Feel the contact with the ground. Feel any (dis)comfort, any pain, itch, whether its cold, warm. Observe it, don't analyze it. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. After you're ready you go to the left calf. Same thing. Feel the cold, warmth, the pressure, an itch, anything. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. It's you. Hold your attention before going to your left thigh. Keep this process throghout your body. In the end, after your face is calm. Forehead is smooth. Eyes are relaxed. Jaw is loose. Deep breath and turn your attention to what you're feeling. Where is it? In your head? In your stomach? For me it's the solar plexus but it differs. Feel the emotion. It's not wrong, it's not good. It's just.. there. Accept it. Name it.
Side note: you may get distracted often. This is fine. Don't get mad at yourself as this only works negatively. Accept it, see it happen like a cloud drifting by and return your attention.
Side note 2: Accepting the emotion is very important. I had issues with that but getting mad at yourself for feeling something will only make things worse and is counter productive. Anyway why would you? Think of a friend. Can he feel lonely sometimes? Of course.
Congratulations, now you are what we call in contact with your feeling. This is DIFFERENT than the self-pitying saddness that's more common. THIS is the emotion that you can process. THIS is the emotion you can write down, cry out, talk about, whatever works for you. Also at the therapist. Especially at the therapist. It may feel redundant to do it with the little steps but believe me, if you're not used to grounding yourself then this is how to start. Sometimes it's harder than other, depending on your state-of-mind at the moment. Later you'll be used to it and 'go to your feeling' faster and more naturally than doing a detailed body scan. You're right if you think it's akin to meditation. Trust me. It's a human thing. You can do it too. Some people have put away their emotions deep down in order to protect themselves and for them it may be harder.
IMPORTANT: learning to ground may also mean you're nearer to your emotions. This is a good thing, as long as your work with them! Depending on the severity of your repressed traumas, it is highly advised to involve a therapist. You don't want to open up a well of misery only to do nothing with it. More on that in the next paragraph
Step four: Accept your past hurtful experiences. Process the associated emotions
This step is actually really important, and I wish I had done it way earlier. It would have saved me maybe three years. Okay so see it like this. Two things to remember. First: emotions that you experience but were unable to express will STAY in your body. Your body is like an emotional hard drive and somewhere there's tension building up. Second: this system you can compare to a hydrolic dam. Imagine: when there's a bit of water in the reservoir, there's no problem. When there's more water in the reservoir it's also okay, but the force on the dam builds up. Still more water all kind of okay, except that the dam is under a lot of pressure. A relatively small damage has to happen for cracks to appear and water to escape. This is exactly how it works with emotions. This is how people have sudden burts of rage, sudden burst of sadness, over relatively small incidents. They just... burst. This tension in addition with perfectionism are root causes for burn out as well. Just how much energy must it take? Anyway, as for the actual processing, I have a few tips.
The major one is a therapy called Somatic Experiencing. This is specialized in bringing up past emotions, even from when you were just a baby (I can tell..). All the stored up emotions will affect your daily life, likely without you noticing. It literally changes the way you react to things. E.g. how you react to some kinds of jokes, to how you may be very sensitive to situations, may feel angry or sad all the time, but also your attachment style in relationships. For me, processing all my fears and feelings of loneliness and betrayal on my innocense has given room for love, compassion, joy/playfulness and a general peace of body.
All in all, therapists are recommended.
Something else is a rage room. This is a place where people come together to literally scream and let emotions out. No experience there, just heard about it. I would think that the problem here is guidance. You can release stuff, but only things you are aware about. A good therapist can ask questions that will trigger things you can't do yourself. If you don't, you'll just scream from frustration which doesn't help much just like shower crying. Still, if you do it right I'm sure it may help.
NOTE: before going here, read the paragraph about grounding. This is an important asset without which you'll not get the results you want.
Step Five: self improvement. Learn by doing. Train your subconsciousness by experience.
It may feel like this step is late in the cycle, however it is not for nothing. To use the metaphor, Would it be easier to upgrade your dam into a hydraulic energy generating dam while the reservoir is still full, or while the water level is low? It is not to be underestimated how much internal conflicts will colour your perspective on yourself and the outside world. This is a major mistake I made, and what many therapists will still try.
Self-Improvement really means to use your self reflection to not just see what you do, but mainly what do you want to do with it? Let's say hypothetically you feel like you don't speak up enough. You've found out this is because of an underlying insecurity, in this case maybe that you feel unimportant because your parents never acknowledged any idea that you
I'd suggest journaling. Or rather, emotion analyzing and bring them up while writing. Ground yourself first. The goal is to FEEL the emotion and so process it without storing it up again. Cry about it if you need to. You know when children are sad, then cry a lot, then are running around happily again? Same with us adults. INFP or no. Except that we, with a little training, can actually name what we're feeling. Warning: this should only be really possible after some mindfulness. Firstly, because how else are you going to identify your own emotions? And secondly, you need to learn to 'ground' yourself, go into 'feeling mode'. Without it, it'll just be feeling sad because you feel sorry for yourself, instead of addressing the emotion itself. Wallowing in your sadness (this case: own victimhood) will only make things WORSE in an vicious cycle of negative affirmation. This happened to me. It's not pretty.
Look at yourself and the traits you want different. Maybe you want to be more orderly? Show love to people? Give a presentation without feeling like you're fainting? Write them down and what you would like instead. Don't push yourself by commiting to do everything. Just as much as you're comfortable with. Think of a dog for example. When a dog gets hit by a human he may just become aggressive or wimpering with his tail between his legs the next time he sees a human. Dogs are not aggressive or flightful from the start, but they learned that certain things are dangerous or scary. You teach an animal that something is not scary by slowly making it get used to the target. The same with humans, except that we're such complex creatures that sometimes it's hard to say exactly what makes you uncomfortable. This is literally what people mean with 'stepping outside your comfort zone'. It's not for nothing. It's not only for 'those bloody daredevils'. It's for a person to get used to situations. I had a fear in front of the class but I forced myself, after some proper therapy, to stand in front of a class to teach exams. Yes I was nervous. I had to calm myself several times, and I reflected on in afterwards. Well now, that actually went better than all the imaginative situations I had before! And even if it doesn't go well you can still write down WHAT you fked up and try to do better next time. Be mindful. Take steps.
Conclusion
It's a lot and I think I can add more but then it would be a book. I hope from this piece will bring structure to the whirlpool of information that's available. I'm not even sure 'regular' psychologists know this, as I've tried a bunch and they all start with something else. Every step is necessary, but some will work best only after the previous steps have been taken.
Now I'm tired. I'll write a proper summary after I see how this is recieved in the comments. Would love to hear feedback, questions, maybe even critique. Take care, you crazy diamond you.
Helpful sources:
Mindfulness training, meditation guides, Chakra healing (yes really)
Fysiotherapist on youtube to work on posture (you'll be surprised). I recommend Body Fix Exercises channel, to the point and effective.
Therapies: EMDR, Cognitive behavioural therapy, Somatic Experiencing
INFP guides on Personality Hacker
Attachment style podcasts (sorry mine was in Dutch)
Books / audiobooks
J. Peterson's 12 rules for life + many lectures on having a meaningful life. (whatever your stance or opinion on politics, his psychological knowledge is undeniable)
Lindsay C Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
M. Gladwell's Talking to Strangers
Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now
I'd suggest audio book because it moves me more, however I guess it's personal.

I'm 22/F and my ex-bf 26/M, we were together almost 2 months. But before that 8 months ago we started flirting each other but I didn't trust him first because he had a long history about being a heartbreaker and I don't want to be heart broken by him. So I took things really slow and he understood this and he chase me for months but one day we just ignore each other and this flirting ended really stupid. Then after months he message me again and we started flirting and but I was still cold to him and he try to open me up about us. We talked and everything went great. He said to me he loves me, I didn't say it yet because I wasn't sure and he was okay with it. He said to me he want me in his life, he said he really love me etc. These are really genuine and nice words, at least I thought they were. Then we met last sunday. It was a nice day. But we talk about getting over exes and he said to me he didn't get over his ex till last two months (before me) I said okay, it can be like that and that's it. But one day later he messaged me and said to me he couldn't get over his ex, he really love her. If today she lights a light he could turn down everything and went her. He said to me these sentences like really poetic way for another woman. I was heart broken and miserable that day. I messaged him somethings but he didn't reply and I didn't wait any longer and called him yesterday. I said to him I want to meet and talk about how you made me feel. He said okay. But today I messaged him again because I didn't message me. He said to me today is not a ideal day to talk, feel really complicated and weird. His head is full, etc. I got angry but didn't say anything. But I really want to talk and said these things to him. I'm still heartbroken. He said to me he wanted to meet weekend. I message him, okay but you shouldn't push it any further and he didn't answer me again. I'm pissed and I don't know what to do. Should I try to get contact with him about talking about how he made me feel or try to forget everything about us? Because after maybe couple weeks he will message me and I want to deal with him today.