For some context, I'm off to college soon, and for my major and work I'll be requiring a decent rig, especially since I'll be doing lots of work in blender, photoshop, unity, and other graphics work. However, I'll be taking my PC with me, which has a 3950x, 3080, 3tbs of total nvme, and 32gb of 4000mhz ram. Basically, this is good enough to run around just about anything.
I wanted to switch to digital note taking, and I also needed a new laptop to use in class and work stuff that won't be in my dorm. So, I was looking for a tablet that can hold its own, that doesn't need a crap ton of power, but is good in terms of features. Immediately, the surface pro 9(intel ofc) stood out to me. I have forever really disliked 360 foldables, mainly because using them as a tablet is so inconvenient(having to put the keyboard face down, not being able to use in bed because its heavy etc). There isn't a huge market that I've found for windows tablets that also have a foot in the door at being considered a "laptop". The only good ones I found were the XPS 13 2-in-1 and the surface pro. Out of these two, the choice was difficult, but I wanted to go with the surface due to a couple quality of life things(no camera jutting out, a better touchscreen/pen experience). The biggest thing was the built in kickstand, which I tried out at a local best buy, and just seemed so nice. It certainly doesn't support your hand weight, but it does enough to a point where I can take notes on it and do some drawing without needing to lay it flat, which I absolutely love. So my go for that was the surface.
Then, as I'm scowering ltt videos, I come across the gem known as the ROG Flow Z13. After I watched that video, I was absolutely appalled. I saw absolutely no downsides to the ROG Flow Z13 compared to the surface pro 9. I'm familiar that the surface lineup isn't really liked by the community, but as I continued to search for something that would fit the thing I'm looking for, the surface is what everyone pointed me to. But I just stumbled across the flow z13 and, like a bunch of people seem to say in their clickbaity youtube titles, it really is the better surface pro 9. To give some more context, here's the specs I was looking at buying either of the two at compared:
​

Specs	Surface Pro 9	ROG Flow Z13
CPU	Core i7-1255U(10 cores)	i7-12700H(14 Cores)
GPU	Intel Iris Xe	RTX 3050
RAM	16GB LPDDR5	16GB LPDDR5
Storage	256GB SSD	512GB SSD
I/O	Two TB4 and that's it	TB4, USB, etc basically way more than surface
Display	2880 X 1920 @ 120hz	1920 x 1200 @ 120hz
Price	$1581.98	$1799.00

​
The more qualitative things I did some research on through reviews and etc. The keyboard attachments are both okay(although the surface is a bit more hated). The touchscreen experience seems to be good on both. Speakers and display color accuracy are good, but again, negligible to just a student like me who probably doesn't care a lot about those. They both have kickstands, which is super important to me. The weight is a little more on the Z13, and it is slightly thicker. The things I can't attest to are the pen experience, which I've heard has a great response time on the surface, but idk about the Z13. Also, the temperatures, because no one wants to use a heated tablet.
​
I don't really want the Z13. It has more performance than I really need. I just need to able to run programming IDEs and software, sane blender files, and some unity projects once in a while smoothly. All of the power computing things I can do in my dorm. However, I just don't see how the Surface Pro 9 can even exist at that pricepoint when the Z13 is putting out these specs at the same price budget($200 is no pocket change but its in the same range) while also not compromising on the killer features that the Surface mainly uses to appeal to the public.
​
My ideal would be a cheaper device of this style that doesn't have a lot of power, but can do what I mentioned above. I honestly just want a surface pro 9, but I just feel scammed buying it at this price when the Z13 exists. It's like, if I am buying this surface, why am I not just buying the Z13? What am I paying for with the surface over the Z13?

I've been in quasi-recovery for a couple of months, but I am almost my thinnest ever without even consciously restricting, counting calories or working out. Where I would in the quite recent past feel elated, I am really upset. The reason for this ""miraculous"" weight loss? My stomach and nervous system are so fucked up that every time I experience the slightest inconveniece, I get full on anxiety attacks, get nauseous and completely lose appetite to the point where mention and\or look of certain foods make me make those vomit noises involuntarily. My stomach starts hurting much earlier than I finish my plates, even if I still really want to finish my plate or get seconds. I'm not afraid of alcohol calories and drink snacks anymore, but I just physically can't have that. I've never experienced motion sickness in my life before, but now I'm moving to a different country and the thought of being on a plane for a couple of hours terrifies me the most out of the whole repatriation process. My greatest joy in life are energy drinks, full-sugar ones now finally included, but I can't even have them every day, much less more than one per day. I need to eat digestion and anti-acidic pills every family dinner, even if I don't eat much, and I don't remember the last time I was able to eat less that couple of hours before bed without being unable to fall asleep
I hate that. I'm just 23. but i feel like I've already messed up my body too much to ever eat normally, enjoy social meals fully or get to that healthy plump I should have at my age. I start to regret thatI never had any wake-up calls in the 9 years since my ed started, and now I'm at this state.

Background: Had a fully medicated FET last month that ended in very low hCG chemical. I was on oral Estrace, PIO, and progesterone suppositories and stopped 5/28. Had a withdrawal bleed/period that wasn't any worse than my normal period. Other than expected sadness I have felt well in my daily life.
1.) So it's now > 10 days since quitting meds and I think the mood swings and sadness are better but I am a regular Crossfitter and have just been BONKING my normal workouts. I feel like I have no energy and am exhausted afterwards. Could this still be estrogen/progesterone withdrawal? When did the rest of you HIIT exercisers find you finally felt back to normal?
2.) Ongoing back pain/stiffness- I had this after some time on PIO and attributed it to local inflammation from the injections but also doesn't seem to be resolved yet and limiting some exercise. Anyone else have this?
3.) Abdominal bloat- wow I feel like this got even worse after quitting meds. It's visible in the mirror- my belly button is downright frowning at me. Trying to be kind to my body and eat healthy in case of water weight but this seems like a different beast. Does this improve?

20/M (6’3, 260 lbs for reference) Got prescribed Vyvanse 40mg, and it’s changed my life for the better in a lot of ways with some drawbacks. My concentration is 100 times better, I’m calmer and my anxiety has improved, and my cardio is off the charts. I really like it. Only bad side effects is at the gym I feel like I can’t get as good of a pump and my hands and feet kinda feel numb until I’ve warmed up. I know this is due to vasoconstriction, and I got given cialis 10mg a day to offset these effects which results in even better pumps. Was making my balls and dick shrivel up a bit but I haven’t had a huge change with erectile function on or off the cialis at all (weak erections around 80% during sex but sometimes full) It’s also fixed my diet and I’ve gone from 280 to 260 lbs in less than a month while maintaining strength and muscle. My last blood test was a month ago before starting and was:
Total: 14.7 nmol/L (11.0-40.0) SHBG: 12 nmol/L (10.0-70.0) Calculated FTE (free testosterone): 457 pmol/L (260-740) FSH: 4 (<10) LH: 3 (<9) Oestradiol: <50 pmol/L (<165)
No diabetes, good cholesterol (low LDL moderate HDL, 4.5 total), normal heart and blood pressure even on the meds.
Have hypothyroidism, but have been taking 50mg levothyroxine for years, and levels are always good.
Have obstructive sleep apnea and use a cpap every night with an AHI score of less than 1
Have had no morning wood since I was 16 or 17 strangely and am seeing a urologist next week.
I sleep 7-8 hours a night, lift weights 3-4 days a week and do around 6000-10000 steps a day. Take magnesium, zinc and vitamin D as supplements. High protein, nutrient dense diet and my electrolytes and minerals on blood tests are always flawless.
Quit vaping 2 months ago, and drink alcohol heavily once every 1-2 months (10-15 units). No weed or other illegal drugs.
On the Vyvanse for some reason my semen has been watery and less white than usual, libido is actually better than usual strangely enough.
I know my test levels are not good and the endo suggested it’s probably weight related as I tried an AI in the past (letrozole) and my testosterone tripled, he only used this to diagnose the problem not as a permanent treatment so don’t freak out I took it like 8 times max. He then attributed it to aromatase activity and since then I’ve tried to lose weight (successfully).
Just wondering if Vyvanse affects test levels at all? If anyone has any experiences or research because I couldn’t find much except for adderall or ritalin which is similar but those studies focused on abuse and typically amongst junkies not lifters or otherwise healthy people, or they were animal studies which aren’t always reliable.

Hi everyone!
I'm finally wanting to make some lifestyle changes and start going to the gym and eating healthier after being in ED recovery for a while, however I'm struggling quite a lot with finding a healthy balance.
I went from underweight to overweight during my recovery, and I've struggled quite a bit with getting balanced eating habits after restricting for so long (any kind of restriction now causes me to binge, which forced me to quit veganism even though it was morally very important to me) and I've been eating extremely unhealthy for about a year (especially thanks to the fact that many people in my life also eat a lot of junk food). However, for my fitness goals I really want to tone up and lose a bit of weight healthily without falling into old habits or binging.
Does anyone have any advice for my situation? I've been struggling with trying to find this balance for the past year, continuing to eat unhealthy with friends and alone despite health repercussions and it's been so difficult, and I'm scared of falling back into yoyo-dieting and reactive binging :(

Keep in mind this is the same girl(s) who
• openly uses disrespectful words, • repeatedly drags her ex(s) and their families,
• gets absolutely shitfaced WHILE OPENLY ON MEDICATION (which’s like the worst biggest no no & is HIGHLY spoken about by medical professionals who prescribe said medications),
• overly drinks (cause it’s not just once in a while shitfaced it’s multiple days a week),
• emotionally and financially abuses whatever guy she’s sleeping with this week (currently Jacob) and holds it over their heads as leverage,
• disrespects her boyfriend’s/their families (both during dating and post dating) by exploiting her body across the internet
• has a history of being known for being in sexual relationships with multiple partners within a small time frame,
• bullies her “friends” looks and thinks they all only like her to get clout (& allows them so she can get the victim angle when she does bully them)
• exploits a child,
• doesn’t care about the health and wellbeing of the child’s mother,
• treats her animal(s) terribly (because what 3 month old puppy doesn’t love being crated 15 out of 24 hours a day…)
• refuses to acknowledge that her following (“fans”) bully, stalk, harass and more any and all of her ex friends/boyfriends/associations. (Literally she smiles at you, expect your page, lives and comments to be bombarded with her following until eternity)
• doesn’t even make an attempt to minimize the damage and victimization of those former whatever’s (yeah you can’t control who posts what but let’s be real a simple “guys please stop posting hate/death threats/etc on their pages & lives” would go a LONG way.
just to name a few things
….. stop with the “I’m not a fan but”.
No. Body shaming ain’t right. On any level. Doesn’t matter if you dish it you should take it. It’s disgusting and it’s 2023. LIFT OTHER WOMEN stop shaming them!!! However! 95% of the posts regarding her or Whitney’s body and/or weight gains, are in regards to the fact of HOW they gain and/or present it. It’s not healthy to drink so much alcohol, eat trash food and not go to the gym or anything. It’s simple facts. If they were presenting it in a healthy manner then it would be different but they’re not. Christen wants to fit in her 16 year old self clothes and Whitney is ashamed obviously of her weight gain so she lies and says she’s not over a certain weight. How does that look to the 16-20 year old girls that follow them and are going through body changes? I’m not saying there’s not the occasional post or comment that is absolutely wrong and is no better than them. Because until people stop putting others down that’s just how it is and it’s sad. I’m guilty of it and be honest every single person in here is guilty of it too -regardless of it being towards her or in your personal life. The world is still evolving but 9/10 of these posts are nothing of the sort. However little miss perfect refuses to evolve with the times and thinks she isn’t in the wrong.
As a former nurse who assisted addicts with their pregnancy & deliveries yeah it’s wrong to assume any type of usage for instances of self harm… however when you’re putting it on display like she does … it’s called a cry for help. But let’s be real. If she treated her health (mental and physical) half as well as she claims, none of that would happen. She doesn’t try to hide it, she literally swallows her pills with alcohol. That’s dangerous! She knows that, she knows better. But again, she doesn’t care. She is flaunting dangerous habits for young girls and women to follow - “If C does it I can!” “I want to live just like C”. - Come on. If she had half a smart conscience she would think about the consequences of her “platform”. If Whitney truly cared as much about Christen as she claims she would honestly work with her to be healthier and /or work out. But in case anyone’s not noticing Whitney’s giving up on her own health lately… if Whitney really cared, she would say something about her guzzling pills with alcohol. She would point out it’s extremely dangerous to mix alcohol as much and medications. She doesn’t. Whitney is just as ignorant about it as Christen is. You’d think with her dads history she would have a lot of issues with the clear abuse Christen does?
The girls literally says things JUST to get a rise out of this group! They fuckin knows people are listening and they knows exactly what they’re doing. Do some of the posts get out of hand? Sure. But they doesn’t give two flying fucks. They are that aggravating at times! Christen is literally Little miss I can’t be bothered who wants help but anytime someone reaches out to try, she bullies and abuses them. She could help to minimize the damage and harm done around her that would also make her feel and look better. But she won’t. She thrives off it.
Cut her some slack my ass. Quit defending her by any means.

I attended my psychiatrist appointment at the ED clinic earlier today. It was just a quick 15 mins consult really. I explained to her how recently I’ve been relatively okay, but: (i’m really sorry this is long, i hope you make it to the end)

• have been very dysmorphic and almost always feeling like my face is super round, my gross nose takes up half of my face, that i’m too huge for public transport and am spilling over the seats and making other commuters disgusted and unhappy, and that I look like I belong on “my 600-lb life” even though I’m about a third of that weight (which I repulsed by still, I feel fucking horrid)
  
• have started restricting portions again a bit in every meal (especially the staple carbs), and take between 1–3 meals a day — it’s dependent on my family a lot of the time, if they skip meals then i skip meals because my mum would ask “oh you still want to eat again?”, even though we have only eaten 1 meal that day
  
• being around my family and their disordered eating behaviours have been hard: my sister doesn’t eat dinner and only a small breakfast sometimes (I’ve never really seen her eat breakfast before work tbh), my dad skips dinner sometimes but eats full portions, and my mum always wants to eat restricted portions and often skips lunch in favour of exercise during her lunch hour, and thinks a few small snacks (like 1–2 slices of bread with nothing else) constitutes a proper healthy meal because it’s not filling. then I get so alarmingly competitive because they are restricting better than me, and i’m the fattest in the family even with a restrictive ED (atypical AN). i also feel angry inside because they aren’t eating properly and i want them to be normal so i can learn to finally have a normal relationship with food too
  
• my mum always praises me and says she’s envious of me when i don’t finish my food, which I’ve done nearly every irregular meal I’ve had recently. says i have good self-control. tells me my dietitian, who wants me to eat regular full meals, doesn’t know what she’s doing, and that i should listen to my own mind/body and what I feel is right (which is of course disordered)
  
• when my PTSD flares up (happening more recently, 2-year traumaversary was just this past weekend) and I feel so shameful and disgusting for what was done to my body, and what I did to cope with the traumas, i start feeling extremely disgusted with my body in ED ways too
  

After that the psychiatrist (specialised in ED) just kind of told me that I’m an adult now (25F), and that I should be more independent from my family and decide for myself when and how much to eat, outside of their problematic eating. That it’s time for me to separate myself from their routines and decisions and criticism since I’m not a child/teen anymore, and their words are no longer an “end all be all” (in her exact words) — I can listen but know within myself that it’s not right, and go my own way. She also did mention that I should try discussing ED more with my therapist — my therapist and I are working a lot on self-worth, self-esteem and finding positives in myself now (it’s not going well yet, i’m still being pretty fucking shitty to myself), but nothing really addressing ED specifically.
When I was about to leave, she mentioned that I was “doing better”. That scared me. Whatever I was telling her was a bit worse than the last time I saw her 3 months ago. I’m restricting more compared to last time we met. My dysmorphic thoughts have been hovering around the same or a little worse. I’m becoming competitive with my family member’s disordered behaviours. And frankly deep inside, my ED tells me that I don’t want to be better. I don’t see how I’m any better. I don’t want her to tell me I’m doing better or doing well. Oftentimes I frankly feel (but this may just be me overthinking) that she and the ED department/clinic don’t take people like me seriously — people who have AAN who are fatter who don’t restrict enough to be underweight. I mean, even society thinks that too — “fat people can’t possibly have an eating disorder, if they had one then why are they still fat? even if they have a restrictive ED it’s not real anorexia, they’re not really restricting if they’re still so huge”.
I don’t want to be severely obese. I’ve gained 20kg since i left inpatient in September 2021 at 67+kg. I’m still horrified with myself, and so upset and repulsed. I want to lose the weight quickly again through restriction, but needing to travel to work and medical appointments make me hungry (not the binge kind tho) and I tend to get very faint, clammy, and vomit, if I don’t eat — I don’t know why, it happens every time I don’t have a meal and expend any energy after leaving the house.
I just… I’m tired. I hate my body and I hate my brain. I feel hopeless about my weight. I don’t know how to eat normally and yet still lose the weight too — I only know restriction. It feels like everyone thinks I don’t have a serious problem, and they treat me like my ED isn’t bad enough to be even 0.01% concerned. Like I don’t have a years-old weighing scale in my head telling me that if I eat a full lunch, then I’ve eaten too much to have a full dinner, that I only deserve much less food. I’m honestly at a loss for what to do or feel. I only know that I just feel downright awful, and mentally very ill and my thoughts are distorted, but nobody really cares because my body doesn’t look like a sick body.

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I'm coming here because I'm desperate, this community is often in line with my own values, and only have one more therapy session before I need to deal with this, also my therapist just helps me figure out what I want she never tells me how to fix things. so I need the group brain to help me.
tw: SA,
On June 30, 24 days from now my parents will be hosting a BBQ to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary.They've invited all of their kids and grandkids so they can take a picture of everyone together. My dad texted me informing me that it's being hosted and that it's important to him that I (and my family) attend. Even if it's "just for the picture." Last fall we went through a low contact phase due to their conservative attitudes, politically incorrect sense of humor, them acting like victims in the gender conversation and them insisting on never excluding family. I do love them however so we all agreed on shallow conversations and visiting their farm to collect eggs and see my parents about once a month. I have BPD and PTSD and had several traumatic experiences growing up, none of which were their fault, they definitely did the best they could with what they knew and were capable of. I'm the youngest of 7, (26 F) I grew up with sibling 6(27M) and the other 5 were in their mid to late teens when we were both born and already moved out (just so you know my parents were already tired of kids before we were born). Sibling 6 was my very best friend we were inseparable, at 6 years old he started to battle with a liver disease that slowly was killing him and all we could do was wait for a transplant. For the next 7 years my mom supported him in the hospital, I felt like I rarely saw her. My birthday parties were often canceled cause there were no adults to plan them, we had campouts in his hospital room instead of nature, I took on cooking dinners, picking groceries, and tidying up and the only parental attention I really received was left over from my exhausted mum, or from my dad who worked way too much and was becoming a non-functioning alcoholic. I didn't mind any of it. All I wanted was for my best friend to survive and he did. Soon after he returned however he SA'd me. He was (14 and I was 12). After a while of feeling responsible and holding that weight, I eventually told my mum and she had him apologize and my dad just never acknowledged it. My sibling then did it to a 9-year-old I used to babysit and at that point, he was 14. As soon as she told me I told her mum and they called the police and my mum was mad that we didn't go to her first. She asked me not to tell people about it cause it'd change the way people looked at him and ruin the life he was just given through the transplant. All this to be said I never felt like I was a priority, worth protecting or being safe. I've done a lot of self-work and I've taken a lot of space from my family. I'm trying to avoid black-or-white thinking and find a way to feel like I have a family. My parents have always refused to not invite him to family events so it was my choice to celebrate things with my family or be the one person sitting out so I often went and just dealt with my feelings after. that is until I became a mom and I saw my brother hugging my 2-year-old and every hair stood on end. I need to protect my kid like my parents wouldn't. I can't be putting my child in a position where he thinks this is a safe person to be around. So I put my foot down, I decided I was done going to events he was at and I'd just celebrate separately with my parents or the siblings I talk to. I asked them to stop inviting him but they insisted that they'll not exclude one of their children to please another. Fine. that's on them. I then asked to just stop being invited myself and we can just have a relationship that is as if I'm an only child. They agreed, Just to continue to invite me. My therapist asked "what's wrong with being invited and just declining?" because they do accept my no but the problem is that the invite leaves me feeling not chosen, not protected, not valid. I don't know what is my disordered thinking and what's real. I don't know how to respond to the BBQ invite. It feels like this picture is more important to them than supporting my desire to not be around my abuser. It would be easy for me to cut them out 100% if I thought they were bad, evil people but I just don't believe that. I believe they're parents desperate for their family to be functional and pressuring me into conforming may seem like the only way to do that. I empathize with them, the idea of having to exclude one child to help the other seems f'd up.. I'm just tired of being collateral damage.
TLDR my parents chose my sibling over me constantly and now they want me to put my feeling aside so they can have a picture of us
Edit: Oof thanks I'm feeling supported and empowered.
I'd like to clear a couple of things up:
My therapist is fantastic I just meant she won't tell me a script or what to do. she just helps me figure out what I think and feel so that I can decide how to act. She's the whole reason I've taken any steps back by asking how I wish I was supported? or what could I do to show my son healthy boundaries and how to advocate for ourselves and our needs? She asks if I found out he was still doing this and it wasn't "a puberty blip" as my parents treat it, how would I feel about having spent years bringing my kid around? That's how she helps me decide what I want.
I wasn't considering going. Not seeing him again and not having my kid see him is a boundary I'm unwilling to waiver on. I just need to know what do I say to my parents, Do I try again to explain how I feel or do I just say I'm not interested? should I still keep some relationship with them or scrap it all? they couldn't even respect my request to not be invited.

a bit of background (please note i was a homeless for a good chunk of my childhood so i didn't learn to write properly so i break things up into small paragraphs to make it easier to read i apologize)
32(m) 5,10 and 330lb
when i hit puberty i ballooned from 132lb to 164lb in less than a year i then lost 132lb at 18 to join the military and stayed at a comfortable 165 for 10 years but after being shot in the knee i could no longer run 7.5 miles daily
the weight slowly started creeping on at first but then VOOSH! it just jumped up to 330lb in 12 months where it eventually settled there
the whole time i was asking for help only to be told "you must not be doing the right thing" "you must not be exercising" when you are obese and tell doctors something is wrong they tend not to really listen to you instead making assumptions that you are lying
nothing worked at one point i was eating way less than i was burning but it only slowed or maintained my weight i did not lose anything over 6 months
but eventually one doctor listened to me i told him in tears "i know my body i know what to do something is wrong" (just eating a slight deficit and walking 30 min a day should show results however small) he ran some tests like trying to find my aerobic capacity and concluded that yes something was wrong it was almost like i was a fit healthy person wearing a fat suit in his words "the math here isn't adding up"
he referred me to an endocrinologist where i did some blood tests several in fact and i was told my weight was not my fault
i cried in the doctors office because i cant express enough how much of a relief that was to be told i was doing everything right i was exercising right i was eating right i am just sick
he theorizes that i have had this issue since around 14 however my punishing regime at 18 mixed with my military career likely masked it for all these years until i was no longer able to hold it back since the 7.5 daily runs are no longer possible and it took hold
but that is where the good news ended he put me on medication and has told me i am no longer to attempt to lose weight physically for the next 12 to 18 months
i understand his reasons my body is worn down already from a lengthy military career and the 4 years of trying to lose weight while getting larger and not scaling back the intensity has basically worn my body down and im at heavy risk of severe damage if i try to continue
but it is so disheartening to finally have an answer but almost in the same sentence pretty much be told "you cant buckle down and get to work for a year and a half"
he doesn't want me using my water rower he doesn't want me doing cycling he said i can only use the home gym for physio therapy work outs (they are usually movement based and burn little to no calories) he doesn't want me doing ANYTHING for minimum 6 months only then can i even think about doing 30 min walks on my treadmill
like i get it i understand what he is saying my body is really really broken and worn down and i need to rest it but im just not that kind of person and yes i will lose weight but how slow will it be 1kg a month? half a kg?
i just want my body back and i want my life back sitting hurts walking hurts standing hurts
i just dont want to be imprisoned like this anymore
any way thanks for reading

I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but the last year or so of my life have been pretty shit for no particular reason. I've been through a lot but right now I have a decent life with a caring family. I'm homeschooled, so maybe not going out a lot is a factor.
I have days where I seriously consider committing suicide. the only thing that stops me is the fact that I have a loving family and I know that things may not always be this shitty.
I genuinely hate myself. my personality, my looks. I'm very paranoid about my weight. I'm 5'1 and 96lbs so I know I'm a healthy weight, but for the past few months I've been trying to eat as infrequently as possible.
if anybody's curious, I'm not emo or anything. I just feel very, very unhappy and sort of numb most days.
my self harming comes in the form of cutting my skin with a pocket knife. I've been doing this for a few weeks now.

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What is website conversion rate optimization?

The main goal of this approach is, instead of focusing on always bringing in new traffic, make the most of the existing traffic you already have.
You can focus on different goals because conversion rate is the percentage of visitors who completed the desired action on your website. Before you start updating your website, you need to calculate your current conversion rate percentage and how much you want to improve it. You can measure different actions you want customers to take, such as:

• Convert booking
• Download the manual
• Social sharing
• Purchase additional services besides tours and rooms
• Sign up for the newsletter

How do you know if your website has a good conversion rate?

To get your current conversion rate, divide the total number of conversions by the total number of sessions. Let's say you want to see the booking conversion rates of your best-selling tours. To do so, calculate the number of bookings by the number of sessions on the website. For example, if your bungee jumping tour has 100 visitors and 10 of them book a jump, your conversion rate for that page is 10%.
A survey by Littledata found that in August 2022, the average conversion rate for the Travel industry was 0.3%. The main goal is to measure what is working and what is not.

Best practices for the travel industry

When it comes to bookings, we know that the customer journey usually doesn't happen in two clicks. Travelers first look through your website, tour, and some other pages before making a purchase. Your goal should be to build credibility in the destination and the activities you offer.
For optimization, usually choose the pages with the highest conversion rates - for example, the page with your most popular tours or activities. By selecting pages with high conversion rates, you will see the results of your updates faster.
To drive website conversions, here are some questions to ask yourself and tips that you should consider:
Is what you are offering valuable?
Customers always expect that if they share their information, the content they receive should also be what is worthwhile.
As a tour or activity provider, you need to make sure that you provide all the information a client needs before requesting information from them - it could be a schedule; what is included in the tour; information about your team or guides, social proof (reviews, photos and videos) and any other relevant information for visitors.
What is the purpose of the information you are sharing?
Filtering the importance of data is also an important point in improving conversion rates. For example, if you are offering a skydive from an airplane, you need to include information about the jump height, minimum and maximum weight of the customer, and minimum age. Meanwhile, you don't need to share details about snacks or dance shirt brands.
Share information that delivers value and that travelers expect to see. To learn how to build stronger relationships with customers, develop your brand's voice, and increase brand awareness.
Do you know how to guide your next customer?
A call to action (CTA) helps users know what they should do next. However, if your page isn't clear and doesn't tell visitors what action they can take, that's a big mistake. A clear CTA encourages the audience to take action. Make sure your message is straightforward, like "book your next tour now" or "download the guide". Furthermore, the CTA should stand out from the rest of the page - you can use different colors to draw attention and place it in a prominent position.
Does the customer have doubts?
This is a matter of building trust, so as not to leave visitors suspicious before booking with you. For example, if you offer skydiving from an airplane, customers may have many questions about safety or may have doubts about the ideal weather for skydiving. Give them all the information and build trust in your business - you can add the number of skydives you've made, years of experience, quality badges and real customer reviews , and other things.
Are customers distracted when visiting your website?
To minimize distractions, remove unnecessary product selections, unnecessary links and additional information to increase conversion rates. In an age of pop-ups, chatbots, and banners, it's sometimes difficult to turn down these extra "helps".
Travelers are looking for good tours and activities, but providing excellent service is not enough. Customers are relying on many different factors to make purchasing decisions.
To improve your website's conversion rate, there are several good practices that you should focus on, including:

• Design: Are the colors, images, and videos you share with your clients of good quality? When a customer buys a tour, it is a service that they can only experience and check when they have reached their destination. So give them an authentic experience of how it works. Each tour or activity on your website should have at least eight professional, high-quality images. Show places, dishes, transportation, participants and more. Furthermore, try to avoid using stock images to share real-life experiences.
• Content: The information should be accurate, direct, and user-friendly – not just on the main conversion page, but across the entire site. Your "about us" page, blog content, homepage, and social media should represent your brand and speak accurately to your target audience.
• Reviews: In the travel industry, it is always a good idea to ask and encourage visitors to leave reviews. A study on the impact of reviews on online guests' booking decisions found that 83% of online guests say reviews are important or very important in booking decisions.
• Booking and Payment System: An automated booking system that can confirm the booking immediately after payment and send a confirmation email with the tour information. Communicating during the sales process and providing a secure payment method can help reduce cart abandonment rates.
• More bundle options: To increase the value of your booking, you can add things that make your offer unique and the experience even better. That could be photo wrapping or enjoying a sunset moment.
• Translate your website: If you offer tours in many different languages, provide information on your website in those languages.
• Pay attention to what customers are asking: If you receive an email or private message with questions about safety measures, pickup locations, and additional options, consider adding that information to your website. Friend.

By focusing on these good practices, you can enhance your customer experience and increase conversion rates on your website.
More detail

I wanted to share my dad's story in hopes that it helps someone else. This is going to be long, but I need to get it out and I feel like you guys understand. I've commented a few times, and posted myself once.
Dad's story began months before we knew he was sick with loss of feeling in his hands which he chalked up to be diabetic peripheral neuropathy, vision changes, growing anxiety and sense of doom, and extreme tiredness. He's 68 and has had a quadruple bypass, prostate issues, anemia, afib, you name it. At the end of February he was helping me replace vanities in my bathrooms and could barely walk across Home Depot without needing to stop for a rest. His gait was so slow, he was almost shuffling to walk. He said he had been feeling like "everything took one big step to the left." On March 9th, he woke up and tried to get out of bed but fell on the floor. My stepmom took him to the emergency room where he went in for a CT scan and MRI. They found a plum-sized tumor on the right side of his frontal lobe. Two days later he went in for craniotomy/resection and the tumor was removed almost entirely. He received the GBM diagnosis a day later. Two days after that, he was released to a rehab hospital where he spent five days doing PT ad OT. He was so hopeful, but so sad. He worked his butt off to be able to put on shoes, get dressed, go to the bathroom, bathe, and get in and out of a vehicle so that he could go home. He never regained full mobility and needed help mostly with toileting. He was released ahead of schedule. He was elated and told me to gun it out of the parking lot before "someone realizes they made a mistake and make me go back inside."
The oncologist was encouraging and positive, his tumor was methylated, and all signs indicated he should have plenty of time left. He and my stepmom had just sold their house and bought a new one 200 miles away, so they opted to use American Cancer Society resources to cover an extended stay hotel during his 6 weeks of treatment. He wanted to stay with me, but worried about sharing a bathroom with my 7 year old while taking chemo. The risk of exposure was a concern, plus my house is so small. By this point, he was also not eating much because he said food tasted repulsive. This aversion to food only got worse as he started treatment. My stepmom nagged him constantly to eat. I think it is the one thing she felt like she could control so she fixated on it. After radiation and chemo started, he was constantly exhausted. He slept so much and ate so little. He either had constipation or diarrhea. He told me he was so tired of the constant stress from my stepmom, and feeling like he was going from one issue to the next with no relief. He hated being dependent on others. He started to require help peeing because he couldn't control his stream and would make a mess. The defeat he felt when I had to help him put on his pants and clean up after one of his accidents. He cried so much and seemed so sad and so lost. I assumed we didn't have a lot of time, so I was sure to clear the air on old issues, and I made sure to tell him every day how much he is loved, how much he is appreciated, and how much he matters to our family. My stepmom was showing signs of caregiver burnout and started to act like she resented his needs. I asked her to bring him to my house every day. If she asked for help, I dropped everything to help her. She kept mentioning putting him into a nursing facility, threatening to put him on a feeding tube, and treating him like he was a child who couldn't think for himself. I finally had to tell her that if she didn't start treating him with compassion, she needed to leave. Dad was miserable, but when he was with me we talked, I teased him, he smiled a little. He said how much he appreciated being treated normally because everyone had started treating him differently. I just wanted to make sure that whatever time he had left was filled with the good things in life, that his suffering wasn't made worse. She kept telling him to stop feeling sorry for himself and was annoyed when he cried. He saved his falling apart and grief for when he came to my house. I held him and consoled him. My turn to scare away the monsters after all the support he gave me throughout my life.
Two weeks ago, his oncology team became alarmed at his lab work. His kidney function had rapidly deteriorated and his white and red blood cell counts had dropped. My stepmom insisted on leaving that appointment to take him to their primary care doctor to look at a wound on his foot that had grown. She is blaming the oncology nurses for not alerting her to the labs, or stopping her from leaving. If you couldn't tell, she can be stubborn and controlling. She feels someone should have seen he was dropping into the danger zone for kidney function and blood production long before then. The primary care doctor told her to disregard the sore and go straight to the emergency room. I rushed there to be with them and sat with Dad all night. They immediately stopped the chemo pill and called his oncology/radiology team to notify them. He had two weeks left of treatment and had been looking forward to regaining his energy and sense of taste. We had been making plans for what he wanted to do when he got home. Camping, fishing, etc. In the hospital, he was so confused. He kept grabbing my hand and asking me if he was still alive. He said he felt like he was slipping away and about to go to the other side. I asked what he meant and he said the room we were in was a machine-created construct, that he wanted to sleep, but he didn't want the big sleep. The doctors said his kidney function was slowly improving but his blood counts remained low after two platelet and 7 blood transfusions. His bone marrow had essentially shut down completely. I left for my nephew's high school graduation on Friday. On Sunday morning, my stepmom called and said the doctors didn't think they could do anything else. Dad was not responding to treatment and they couldn't keep him. I said, "it is time to go on Hospice and it is time to bring him home." She made him record a video telling all of us he agreed to go on Hospice. My sister and I drove 200 miles to get to the hospital to sit with him. Now he was rambling and extremely confused, talking constantly, and he had developed the gurgling cough. A nurse asked if we had other siblings and we said yes. "Do they know they need to come see him right away?"
On Monday, May 29th, medical transportation drove Dad 200 miles from the hospital to his home. When they arrived, Dad was more confused and uncomfortable than ever. My stepmom was insisting people wear masks and was fussing around about things that, in retrospect, made no difference, but allowed her to control the situation. We let her do it because everyone copes differently. Dad was set up in the living room and the Hospice nurse came to assess him. He was exhausted and mostly sleeping after getting pain meds. The nurse told us she would be surprised if he lived through the night. She also said that kidney failure may be one of the better ways to die because it isn't painful, you just get more and more loopy as the toxins build up, and then you go peacefully. My aunt arrived and he instantly woke up and started talking. We gathered around him and shared our love, cried with him, held him, told him he was finally home and everything would be ok. He gave each of us little nuggets of personalized love. Called each of us by his nickname for us. It was a beautiful gift to receive that closure. Unfortunately, as the evening wore on he kept talking constantly and became more and more agitated. He said some really crazy stuff. My stepmom gave him more pain and anxiety meds. We sent everyone home to sleep. He didn't stop. She got me up at 1 AM and said she couldn't sleep and couldn't stand the talking and needed to sleep. So I spent the night comforting him, stopping him from pulling out his catheter and trying to get up. The Hospice nurse returned and immediately started morphine, Ativan, and Haldol. He finally slept. He woke up very briefly throughout the day and asked for water. We spent the evening praying with and singing to him. On Wednesday he was completely comatose and the coughing got worse. I whispered to him that I knew there was so much more he wanted to do, but that his body was tired and it was ok for him to go if he wanted to go. The Hospice nurse told us to increase the frequency of meds and told us to prepare. At 10:30 PM, my aunt ran to tell me to come quickly. At 10:40 PM, he took 3 long, deep breaths, and then he was gone.
Weeks ago I asked him what he wanted people to remember about him and pushed record on my phone. He thought for a long time. He cried. He thought some more. And then he said, "I just want people to know they are loved. At no cost to them."
I don't know if this will help anyone. Everyone's case is different. We thought we had more time. I was not in attendance at all of his weekly lab reviews, so I have no idea what was discussed. What I will say is if your loved one was already in poor health, had comorbidities like heart disease and diabetes and anemia before their GBM diagnosis, have a frank discussion with the oncology team about whether or not they are healthy enough for chemo. It might have made a difference for my dad. Get nursing help or Hospice involved early so you can focus on supporting them emotionally while a professional supports their medical needs. My stepmom declared herself his nurse and neglected his emotional needs and downplayed his suffering. He needed support and instead got lectures about crying too much and not eating enough. Please talk to your loved one like they are normal. Don't talk down to them or treat them like they are different, and please make the most of every second you have with them.
Also, f*** glioblastoma.

Hi RBB, where to start? I was mistakenly in RBN for a few years, but it's taken some introspection and more education to find my way here.
Any time I do post about my situation, I feel like I have to give all the context and that takes some time (probably engrained in needing to justify/qualify everything on a regular basis). but this is also a very convoluted chain of events so I apologize in advance for the length. For those who will jump to the TL;DR: Currently NC. Struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my uBPD mother again, so contemplating breaking NC to establish boundaries with my uBPD mother. Boundary definition is hard, and uBPD mom's behaviors are dissuading.

History

Family structure: My mother is a pwBPD, although uBPD. uBPD, as the two times we have done therapy as a family, she walked out as soon as the therapist suggested she was a contributing factor in any way. From the 4 subtypes, I shall anoint her the Hermit Queen - ranging pretty equally between both.
My father used to be an eDad, but they are in the middle of a 2-year-long divorce process, so he kind of could care less at this point what she does. Honestly, sometimes he still defends her, but for a lot of years, any criticism or the Cluster B's rolled off his back, probably because he was just trying to survive his own marriage. We'll stick with it because it's pretty truthful for majority of my life.
There are 3 kids: oldest (m36, split GC), middle (m33, GC) and me (F32 - likely BSC, although mainly just because I don't ever give into BPD tendencies than anything else. All the children have gone through our own bouts of rebellion). Both my brothers have really failed to launch tbh, and GC lives full time with parents, and SGC spends time there 50/50. HQ also uses money as a manipulation tactic, which can't work on me (living on my own/independently since 20).
HQ (hermit queen) has complained about her married openly to her 3 kids - really anything my eDad did that she didn't like - for as long as I can remember. I have blocked out a lot of my upbringing (unintentionally), but I could probably recount their marriage 'highlights reel' of offenses ranging from her birthday to christmases, to more birthdays and one-liners of inconsiderate comments she's repeated countless times to me, verbatim. I've been rooting for their separation for years, mainly so my eDad can be free, and so that I can stop. hearing. about how terrible he is. from HQ.
Therein lies the crux of my NC. I've taken the LC and VLC routes, without any formal announcements in the past, because her emotional baggage is so much. Any communication sucks her further in and she responds by inserting herself into the situation and then using her involvement as leverage to guilt me into 'spending time', or convincing herself she is unloved when I don't comply. Before going NC, I tried Grey Rocking a handful of times, which honestly only emphasized her emotional state because I was not contributing to the conversation with anything she could latch onto. That didn't work, so I attempted enforcing a boundary: do not talk to me about your marriage with eDad.
Seemed simple. Of course, nothing ever is. She would skirt around the topic tactlessly, "oh, sorry, you don't want to hear about that" and wait for my confirmation that, no, I did not, or reassurance to actively cross my boundary. It was pretty impossible for her to respect it, and exhausting for me to constantly ask her to.
Covid was sort a blessing in disguise in the sense that I did not have to see her (and of course horrible in every other way). I do struggle with guilt from being thankful for a shelter-in-place order due to a global pandemic, for a time where I was a fortunate to be able to work from home with my partner. But damn, it was so nice having a concrete reason (the only way she respects hearing "no") to why my partner and I would not come over for dinner, or 'stop by'. (If it wouldn't be apparent, my parents is absolutely not a fan of HQ.)
Planning family events or any 1:1 time leads to my second boundary I ever enforced - and she reminded me every time she she extended an invite: "I'm doing this to ensure you attend." - as if far enough into the future was the trick. (This was honestly my own doing, since I was very often 'busy' to avoid just telling her "no, I don't want to.")

Less-Historical History

^{(insert divorce})
After Covid, the very thin eggshell to which HQ and eDad's marriage was held together finally cracked under the weight. They both realized all the years they spent trying to repaisave/survive their marriage was fruitless and neither of them were willing to try anymore, and nothing was going to work. So they announced their intent to divorce to their kids.
HQ shared the "we still love you and want to be a family" approach with eDad. However, as soon as eDad was speaking to my siblings 1:1, HQ walked this back. She told me that this couldn't be further from the truth.
Insert flashback memory, right before one of my VLC stints, in which HQ shares that if eDad and her ever did divorce she would "take him for all he's worth". Real quote.She adamantly wanted to seek alimony (even if none of the kids were living with her,) because after x years of marriage, she would be entitled to it and she was accustomed to "a certain standard of living". She told me would make sure he would pay up for it and then some.
So, after the divorce is announced, I knew I didn't want to be around her very much. I couldn't possibly bear any more degrading of my father. I could not possibly support her further heightened emotional state of mind. The fact that she 'put on a happy face' for the family/announcement and it took her a maximum of two minutes to start bad-mouthing him only confirmed to me that she had not grown in since the time of her alimony epiphany (which at the time of the announcement was several years prior).
I didn't go NC right away. Any text exchanges had strings attached and guilt trips.
The timeline for the following events is pretty blurry, but it was very rapidly after the divorce announcement. HQ has felt like she has been held back with being married and unable to be her true self for many years. Somehow the family 'punished' her for being herself or having her own thoughts and opinions, so once she felt "free", she threw herself into dating. She did not share this with all of her children equally, as she tries to share the most selective information to the (perceived) least judgmental recipients, to paint herself in the best light. My GC brother informed me, because he was having trouble coping and he needed someone to commiserate with. Honestly, at this point I was fine because I wasn't around it. It wasn't like she was trying to interject ...whoever, into my life/to meet the kids.
However, she was being particularly needy - I would spend time with her and she would vent about the divorce. It was draining - so I told her, I didn't need a reply, I acknowledge she is going through a hard time, and that I want her to be happy, but I needed some space to figure out my boundaries, to reach a point where we can have a healthy relationship, so would appreciate some space from the divorce situation, which included her. She did not reply.
Seems simple? Straight forward? Agreed upon? Never. She took about a month to reach out after that, to have me refer her new boyfriend to the company I was working at. She didn't tell me who it was, and she's tried to refer friends through me before so it wasn't actually that out of the ordinary. Something felt off, especially with the timing so I checked the name with my GC, who confirmed she was trying to refer her new bf to my company. I was livid, and didn't hesitate to tell her my reaction. I was calm in my message, and reiterated my ask for space, and that her actions felt very manipulative.
She took zero ownership, and basically tried to say I was making it complicated. She never acknowledged it was her bf, which she stands by to this day to claim she didn't do anything wrong in that situation. She tried to rationalize why she was dating, missing the point entirely.
She kept sending random texts:

1. 'Fond' memories of me as a child, which was a situation where I was misbehaving (with good intentions) as a child, and how she admits she handled the situation poorly. (Somehow a talk with my GC convinced her this was something I was still harboring against her.)
2. Apology surrounding the events of how I left home (in which she has both made herself the power-holder as well as the victim in that situation). As I recall the events, yet another screaming match had escalated so far that I couldn't handle it any more - I told her I would be moving out, packing my shit immediately and leaving. She was furious and basically agreed in the heat of the moment - but and remembers this as "kicking me out".
3. (With the former message) she also apologized for "sharing her relational distress" with me, and for the "undue anxiety, grief, and stress", and then promised to be a better listener.
4. Random, random articles, without any context to them.

I responded to none of them, since I had asked for space!! (This just seemed to spurn her on.)
Finally, it came to a breaking point. I started it actually, by accidentally calling her. It rang for less than a split second and I hung up. She tried to call me back a few days later while was on a work trip, (so, traveling,) and on a call with my therapist. Somehow the software answered (it wasn't like a phone call, it was a video call, but not Zoom). I quickly hung up, but it was connected for like a second.
Very, very unfortunately she had also recently underwent a third or fourth surgery for a repeat medical problem (that honestly would resolve, if she listened to doctor advise - confirmed by a doctor!), so she texted immediately her favorite tactic: guilt. "I thought you'd call back after you woke up but no, so guess your initial call was a butt dial now, not concern for me after my recent knee surgery. Sorry to bother you, take care."

NC

Ok we're caught up now. This is where I go full NC. The passive aggressive response (very typical) was not necessary, and without her knowing my situation, she jumped to conclusions - again. I spent a lot of hours writing the text I sent to her, owning my inability to enforce my boundaries, and reiterating them to her - acknowledging once again the struggle she is going through and my hope for her happiness, and eventually reaching a healthy point in our relationship. I reiterated my ask for space, but putting a timeline on it this time: when the divorce gets finalized. I set a clear expectation, that I would reach out when that time comes to reopen the lines of communication. The divorce is still not final, if you are wondering.
Without having this wonderful piece of advice:

You could do everything "right" and they still may be unhappy.

I agonized over that text for basically 24+ hours. I got friends and GC to proofread. (I event read it to my therapist after - they were very impressed! Woo!)I didn't ask her not to reply, if anything I was fully expecting another convoluted, missing-the-point response, but nothing. She hasn't actually texted/called me since. She has not hesitated to complain about my, harbor over "where did I go wrong" to my brothers, to her sisters, except to me. She's done just about everything except: read my last (few) texts. I literally laid it all out for her.
All the pretty words I said to her ("I want to figure out my boundaries"), while true, have been a placeholder to basically buy myself time. It's been 2 years. 2 years should be enough time. But, I've been putting off just... hashing it out with myself. Little bit of a Schrödinger's Cat situation. I know (...sort of...) what I want, but: if I never vocalize it, I don't have to feel bad about it. I don't have to acknowledge that it affects the relationships with the rest of my family. I love my brothers, no matter how failed-to-launch they are, they went through a similar family dynamic. They are funny, interesting weirdos that I don't want out of my life. My (no longer e) Dad is an amazing person, we've built a much stronger relationship over the past few years, and I don't think it would fully jeopardize my relationship with him, but he knows where I stand with HQ and he suggested I wish her happy mothers day this year. He still cares for her, as a fellow human being that he spent many years of his life with.
^{Fun little side note: HQ also went years ignoring her siblings/parents because her own dad was basically an Nparent (undiagnosed, racist, bigoted, not good person. Only after he passed, did I meet my grandmother or my cousins on her side. (I still haven't met everyone on that side of the family.} I am sure she thinks I'm going to do what she did to her own family, which is why I got random apology texts.))
What I want versus what I don't want is a lot easier to define. (Admittedly, I don't really know how to reverse-engineer those for boundary establishing.)
These past 3-4 years have been amazingly, saddeningly wonderful. It's breaking my heart to admit that, y'all. But it's because she wasn't actively in my life.
When I think about the future with her in my life, I'm sort of paralyzed. I can't imagine getting married and trusting her to stay out of the wedding planning. I can't imagine eventually having kids and trusting her to babysit. I can't imagine her ever not dropping comments about any relationship I am in, comparing it/them/fights to hers with eDad - warning me not to make the same mistakes she did. I genuinely can't even imagine asking her to respect my boundaries and having her do so.
GC tells me she is improved, she's open to feedback and capable of growth, but he's been working with heon their relationship since he's been living with her. (Especially since after the divorce & eDad moved out, it's been mainly the two of them in the house.)
I am not as confident. I can't parent my own parent, I should not have to teach her how to be an adult, how to have a normal relationship with her own daughter, and constantly constantly tell her what is ok/not ok (in regards to my boundaries). I am exhausted just thinking about it.
This community seems so helpful and honestly just sharing my experience was kind of cathartic, since my partner doesn't really understand my complicated feelings surrounding my family. He came from an incredibly "typical" upbringing.
This:

The right to live free from emotional and physical abuse

is very empowering, and ...logical. But I am still struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my mother again.
I would truly love to hear if others have gone through something similar. How do you deal with the guilt? Or how do you deal with the regular toll of parenting a parent? I'll take setting boundary advice, too, lol.
If you got this far, you need a medal for reading my essay. Thank you.
TL;DR: Currently NC. Struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my uBPD mother again, so contemplating breaking NC to establish boundaries with my uBPD mother. Boundary definition is hard, and uBPD mom's behaviors are dissuading.

Apologies for the very long post:
It all started when my dad passed away earlier this year. At the end of 2022 we went out of the country to visit Bangladesh, where my parents were originally from. The trip was amazing. I got to see where my parents grew up and I got to meet people they knew from when they were younger. When it finally came time to come back home, my dad, brother, and I were going to come back. On the plane ride back the three of started feeling sick, but it didn't seem like it was anything major at the time. My mom was going to stay behind for another month because she had some business with family to take care of.
A few days after we got back and attempted to settle back in to our normal life, however, my dad started to get more sick and we were all concerned. So I took him to urgent care. The first alarming sign that I noticed was that my dad's oxygen saturation levels were around 80-85% while he was there. So multiple nurses came by and told him to try taking some deep breaths and eventually his oxygen levels finally sat between 90-95%. So they decide to do an X-ray and it turns out that he had pneumonia. So they prescribed him antibiotics and we went on our way. For the next few days I did my best to stay on top of things and made sure that he took his antibiotics as prescribed. Unfortunately things only continued to get worse. Feeling concerned I called the paramedics because he was telling me that he was really struggling to breath. The paramedics arrive and they do an evaluation and they notice his oxygen saturation levels were now in the upper 70's low 80's, but they told me that was normal with pneumonia and that he should continue to take his medications and he will be okay.
Another few days goes by and symptoms still get worse. He's talking about how can barely even walk without losing his breath. So I take him again to the urgent care and they give him stronger medications and an albuterol inhaler. Another 2ish days go by and symptoms still were horrible. It became really scary when I woke one morning around 6AM to take my brother to school, and I noticed my dad was awake and the following conversation ensues:
"Hey dad, it's awfully early for you to be awake. Is everything okay?"
"I couldn't sleep at all. I can't breath. I feel terrible."
"Do you want me to call the paramedics or take you to the ER right now?"
He then begins to demand that I take my brother to school first and then come back and we will go together. My brother was late to school that morning so I tell him let's go the ER now. The next sequence of events ensures:
He asks, "Is it okay if I get up and brush my teeth first?"
I say, "Sure, that's all right. Do you need help?"
He says, "No." He then gets up and goes to the bathroom, but then comes running back and sits on the bed and says, "I can't do this anymore. I can't breathe."
I get really scared so I call 911. They come and do another evaluation on him and check his O2 saturation. His saturation has now dipped to 60% and lower, so they take him to the ER. Once he is finally admitted they do some chest x-rays and find that his lungs appear to be inflamed and are damaged. They kept asking me if my dad smoked or had any other kind of respiratory conditions, because the damage was so bad. From the ER they admit him into the hospital in the PCU and attempt to give him breathing treatments to hopefully slowly help his condition. The treatments didn't work so they did another CT scan of his chest area. While the ICU doctor reviewed the scans the PCU tried to give him more treatments (increasing the amount of supplemental oxygen they were giving him, bypap machine, etc.). Unfortunately, his condition seemed to only be getting worse. About an hour later the ICU doctor comes and recommends that he be immediately intubated because the damage to his lungs was severe. I was in shock and I didn't know what he heck was going on.
We make the decision to intubate him and once my mom heard the news, she took the next flight out to come and be with my dad. For two weeks he was supported by a ventilator. The doctors wanted to transfer him over to the cardiac ICU, because they thought a procedure called ECMO would help him. He goes over there and all while this is all going on they are regularly taking him off of sedation just to make sure his reflexes are still working properly. One morning, they see that he is not responding, so they go to do a CT scan of his brain. Unfortunately what happened was that his brain hemorrhaged. So even if his lungs got better, he would essentially be braindead.
At that point all I could remember was the world crumbling around me. My mom could barely speak and my brother was over ruled with grief. I was forced to step up and begin making some critical decisions. I signed a DNR after the hospital recommended it to me. After a lot of deliberation and talking to my family we agreed to take him off of life support so he would not suffer anymore. All I remember is watching his vitals. Watching as heart slowly stops. It was awful. I will never forget it. February 10th, 2023, he passed.
Since that time I have been feeling some weird symptoms. Some chest tightness, throat tightness, the feeling that food sometimes gets stuck in the back of my throat. GI wants to do an endoscopy, but I needed cardiac clearance first. I go to the cardiologist and find out that I have a slightly leaky heart valve, but other than that my heart is healthy and that he doesn't believe that his issues shouldn't show any symptoms or cause my any symptoms until I'm in my 60's. He grants me clearance and the endoscopy happens. The GI finds nothing major, just some really minor GERD damage and prescribes some medications to hopefully make it better. I have a little bit of fear with my heart condition, but other than that I have been doing okay.
My relationship with my mom and brother on the other hand have been really rough though. My mom has been telling me that since I am the only bread winner in the family now, I need to start financially supporting them. I agree to help out. I pay for their expenses, my expenses, and anything else that I am able to help out with. To cope with some serious depression I am facing, once a week I like to hangout with my friends at our local card shop and participate in Yugioh Tournaments. Today this ensues:
Mom: "I notice that you the amount of money in your account has gone down why is that?"
Me: "Well I just recently put money towards some bills and credit card payments."
Mom: "Well maybe if you stopped wasting time and money on your hobbies you wouldn't have money issues."
We then proceed to argue a little.
After I get frustrated, I say, "Okay, if you think it's that much of an issue I'll get another job and work my self to death."
My brother who just recently graduated high school get pissed off and starts telling me, "Well dad never complained about it. What you're doing is nothing compared to what he's doing so you shouldn't complain."
I feel awful. I feel like I'm not at all appreciated. I miss my dad. I feel worthless. I don't know what I am doing anymore. My girlfriend and my friends have been my one thing keeping me going at this point. Other than that, I'm struggling, but I'm doing my best.

Here is my statistics. I am a rising senior and I would truly love to have some advice on my application. Thank you so much! :)) I apologize for how long this is
DemographicsGender: FemaleRace/Ethnicity: 1/2 White, 1/2 Asian 💀 (Both parents are immigrants but completed grad school in the US), so I am 2nd generation for college
Residence: US
Type of School: Competitive Public (Apart of STEM Magnet Program w/ around 70 selected students out of a class of 750 and features STEM classes w/ diff teachers and EC requirements)
Hooks: None 💀💀
Income: around 300-400kIntended Major: Biochemistry or Molecular Bio 😍🌿AcademicsGPA: 3.97UW (One 89 Freshman yr💀) 5.1 Weighted
Note: AP/College courses worth 6.0 at my schoolRank: 31/750, expect to go to at least 26/27 when SEM2 Junior yr updates# of Honors/AP/Dual Enrollment (all 4 yrs): 16 + 1 self study APSenior Year Course Load: AP Calc BC, AP Bio, AP Gov/AP Econ, AP Lit,
Standardized TestingSAT: N/A
ACT: 35 (35 W, 35 S, 34 R, 34 M) , technically 34.5 LMAO but they round so yay
My first attempt I got a 32, will not submit unless required.
AP: All 5s so far (freshman & sophomore yr) (AP Psych, AP World History, AP Comp Sci Principle, AP Human Geo)Extracurriculars/Activities (Not in proper order yet)

1. Nonprofit (Co-founder) (10-12)

Hosted hackathons with pretty high turnouts (500 submissions/10k in sponsor prizes), set up a tutoring network, donated over $1k to reduce healthcare disparities in Afghanistan. Hosted medical camps and had professors from CMU/NYU come out and talk to students via zoom.

1. Intern at local med school (11/12)

Helped assist with virology research. Helped Edit research papers, set up laboratory equipment, and shadow various processes

1. Intern at local Emergency Room (10,11,12)

shadowed numerous doctors and nurses. Wrote detailed case studies to understand medical symptoms. Assisted basic needs, vitals/giving towels

1. Vice President, National Honor Society (11/12)

Helped manage/ provide volunteer opportunities in student led organization to over 200 upperclassmen. A pretty big deal at my school.
5) Founder, president of Chem Olympiad Club (11.12)
Hosted meetings to prepare for the test. Covered a variety of subjects including Ochem. Although 3 of us were close, none of us advanced unfortunately. Plan to expand more next year. Overall I had fun with this club and it fueled my love for chem.

1. Vice President/Marketing Lead of Red Cross Club (11,12)

Helped created volunteer opportunities, held a blood drive, managed members in fulfilling service hours, led meetings alongside the founder.
7) President of Public Health Club (11,12)
- Created with my friend, we addressed current issues, donated sanitary supplies to local shelters and clinics. Wrote cards to ICU patients. Had healthcare professionals speak to a group of students on education required/overall aspects of job.
8) Secretary of Science Honor Society (11/12)Managed volunteer hours, meeting hours, help create sign-ins for meetings as well as communicating when meetings will occur.
9) Student created Business Club, member (10,11,12)
Hands-on collaboration with local businesses. Help with marketing, inventory management. Worked with a laboratory and a nonprofit. Helped advertise events to targeted demographic
10) Independent Research (10)
Placed at regionals, districts, and advanced in state as a finalist of about 800 kids in TX
I wont get too into it but it was related to biochem and tested whether a substance could alter the DNA of a strain of ecoli in a lab setting.
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Awards/Honors
- State finalist in Science Fair
- 3rd place in regionals (Science Fair)
- Presidential service gold award x 2
- AP Scholar w/ distinction
- John Locke Essay comp, special awardLetters of Recommendation8.5/10: AP Chem Teacher: Pretty close with her, made the club & had her for two years. She is older and sometimes forgets what class period I am in but knows me as a student. We hugged on last day of school and I wrote her a very long card on how she inspired me to do pre-med and I frequently came during free blocks to review tests.
9/10: AP History, also NHS founder (I am VP), will def be working alongside him for a while. Also a lit major and I heard he writers bomb LORs. The only thing is I was pretty quiet in his class lol.
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EssaysI currently have a rough draft but idk if I want to trauma dump because every time I talk about it, it brings a lot of emotion. It's basically about the process of overcoming my mother being diagnosed with cancer and being told she had months to live. She was constantly in surgery/therapies. Thankfully, she is fine now, but it was a pretty low point in my life leading up to freshman year of HS. I also want to focus on how the event impacted my values/future goals/personality without it being a sob story if that makes sense.
Where I am ApplyingTexasI am currently auto-admit for UT (top 6% of my class)
Rice University
A&M (Safety)
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CaliforniaUSC (EA) My DREAM school since I was like 10 😍😍😍
All the UCs (UC Irvine, UCLA, UC Berkeley...)
Santa Clara Uni
MA: Boston Uni, Tufts, Northeastern, Boston College
Other Schools: UVA/UNC Chapel Hill, Umich, WashU, Notre Dame, CMU, NYU, Georgetown
Ivys: Cornell, Dartmouth, Brown, & UPenn (I do not expect to get in)
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Reflection
I would love if someone could humble me and also lmk where they could see me getting into. Again, any advice to improve my odds and responses are highly appreciated. Also if anyone has any recs on where I should ED to maximize chances that would be great.

Hello everyone. I have a few questions that I'm hoping maybe the more seasoned "Viners", as I call everyone, may be able to help me with. My family is experiencing housing displacement due to pipes bursting in our apartment because of landlord negligence, so we're on our own trying to find accommodations while the landlord takes their usual micro snail speed, and their duct tape and super glue, and fix the problem as cheap as they can. My family have passed, my husband's family doesn't live in our state (and currently experiencing addiction problems, so that's a no go anyways), so we're doing everything alone. I have a physical disability that prevents me from having full mobility, so I'm limited to what I can do. It's been....well, this has been an extremely stressful and all around emotionally and mentally exhausting. I am forced to step away from ordering off the vine for at least the next 2, maybe 3, weeks. I've kept up on my reviews as best as I can considering the situation. I'm literally 5 weeks away from receiving gold status, so I don't want to lose this opportunity that I've been given. In fact, the items I've been able to get off the vine have helped me tremendously with quality of life, comfort, and care, and it's helped with receiving items I've used in homeschooling my kids. This has been a blessing for us. If I don't order anything for 2 to 3 weeks, is there a possibility of losing access to vine and potentially being removed from the program? I cannot stress it enough how this has helped in so many ways, but with my living situation having taken this huge hit and my family trying to figure out how we're going to afford a roof over our heads at the moment with kids and pets, this is one more thing I'm not wanting to cause stress. This is a full blown nightmare come true situation with our apartment. We've been dealing with incapable maintenance and a property manager (I call him our landlord since that's who we deal with as this is a bigger apartment complex owned by someone who lives in another state) for 2 years and their inability to fix the problems that arise. They resolve the situations that take place by using the cheapest materials possible and provide quick fixes. I've even developed breathing complications due to the ongoing mold/mildew that the landlord hadn't fixed, which was also caused by a leaky pipe in the bathroom of the upstairs neighbor. I've had overflowing sinks causing my kitchen to flood, rendering many lower cabinets unusable due to water damage, and the only response given by the maintenance team is "oh". I'm sorry to keep going on past my original question, it's just this has been an absolute nightmare scenario that has rendered us homeless with 2 months of our lease remaining. We were going to renew our lease for another year because we really can't afford to move, but this situation arose and caused such bad problems that we're being affected in many ways. Not having family or friends to lean on in a time of crisis has also hurt us tremendously. We have a few friends, but they're not in the position of being able to offer accomodations during this time. I really am hoping that I can pause vining for a few weeks until this either is fixed and we move back home, or we find home elsewhere. Thanks in advance for anyone's comments on this particular question.

Female Age 22 5’2 about 125lbs
Hi! About three months ago I had the bright idea to start drinking energy drinks instead of coffee and started drinking one to sometimes two a day (the Celsius brand may I add, which I guess has been linked to multiple instances of heart issues in people who drink them). It eventually got to the point where I couldn’t even stomach finishing one of them and around the same time, I started experiencing heart palpitations ranging from 150-190 at random moments. I also wasn’t getting the best sleep during this time either. Sometimes it would be after curling my hair and other times it would be just sitting. This would usually happen once a week and I thought if I cut out caffeine for a while I would stop experiencing these heart palpitations. Around this time, I also started a new job and started to feel super stressed out about the job and right before giving a presentation I felt super anxious and noticed my heart rate went up but this time it felt like my head was going to explode and like I was holding onto dear life to not pass out. I decided it was best I go see a doctor to figure out what was going on. I went to urgent care and when they did a couple EKG’s on me and were going to test my thyroid levels to see if that’s what was causing the heart palpitations. Well, when they did the second EKG my heart rate went up to 226 and I was rushed to the ER. There I was told I had AFIB (prior to this I’ve never had any heart problems and only a couple of times after drinking a lot of caffeine I noticed I would have a higher heart rate but not as consistently as these were occurring). The following week I got an echo done and my cardiologist said my heart looked healthy and I could go back to doing normal things but limit my caffeine intake and was also prescribed beta blockers. I’ve had my heart rate go up a couple of times, once to 178 and 143. My question is, will my heart ever recover from this? I feel like I’m constantly living on the edge and want to go back to weight lifting etc but I’m afraid of my heart quite literally giving out on me.

I don’t mean to sound corny or to evoke feelings of pity when I write this. I just mean to say that being stuck with IBD blows as a teen athlete blows. I lost playing the sport I loved. I spent the majority of my life on the football field, watching MNF, my giants, and redzone. Yet I was stripped from playing football because I legitimately would spend my days hunched over throwing up and shitting simultaneously. Withering away and losing weight, there was no chance I was going back. Mentally, even if the flare up ended quickly I couldn’t bring myself to explain why I couldn’t play to my teammates. And yeah a large part of it is embarrassment, but another part of it is that I don’t want pity. I’m not sure if anyone has felt a similar struggle, but it’s infuriating when people just don’t get IBD and try to express sympathy. It’s much more than shitting constantly and cramping. You having diarrhea does not equate. That’s not to say I’m not grateful for those who reached out, but it just isn’t something that is easy to explain or talk about. I miss playing football. Now that I’m healthy I still can enjoy throwing a ball around, but it’s been too long. Now I’m out of shape and playing football doesn’t seem like a probable or likely prospect, especially now that I’ve pursued a job with the first aid squad. Not sure how I’d even want people to respond. I say again I’m not looking for pity. But if you can relate or sympathize with anything akin to this please feel free to share or comment as I want this community to be open to whatever people may be willing to share.

tw all my life, since childhood, i've given myself up to my vices, whether it be sh, or my bulimia. it was like a warm comfortable hug, the only thing that i'd have to fall back to, and it was always there.
before my father passed away, he was my therapist. i could go to him with anything, and just let it out. i didn't get better, but i felt love and care. it's an irreplaceable feeling. it got ripped away once he died.
certain parts of my family are in shambles, and the bits that are still intact, struggle much more than me. i have two disabled sisters, and one lives far away and has plenty of her own struggles, but is also a very different person than me.. i cant really talk to her about anything.
and then there's my mom. i love her, but she's fighting her own battles right now. any moment i mention mine or hint at it, positive or negative, i know it affects her, and if i relapse, i fear she unintentionally uses that as a green light to fall back onto alcohol. i cant allow myself to burden her, and show her that her own child she gave birth to and raised destroys herself this much. she's still grieving her husbands death, just as i grieve my father.
then there's my bf. i cant continue being transparent anymore to him. he simply pushes his needs aside, and is never honest with me about how he feels. no matter how much i beg and plead for him to accept his emotions and let me be there for him, he doesn't. how am i expected to then have a pity party? not to mention, i'm growing apart from him sometimes, and my emptiness and loneliness don't help. nothing feels real
i burden the ones i love with problems i've caused myself, while they have genuine issues that they would trade away any way they could.
friends are also out of the picture, because i'm always the crutch. i'm the one people go to for advice, to vent, to let it all out, i'm the one who comforts and gives the warm hugs.
so it leaves no one; it's all tucked away in a bag, sealed. i feel empty, and sometimes not real. none of my life has felt real since he's died.
i want to get my own apartment, im 21, and can afford it. i tell myself, perhaps it would help with finding more purpose and joy in life, fending for myself, being able to go into the kitchen and cook a proper healthy meal and not get interrogated by my sisters husband, maybe i could find the will to keep going.
i know my mom isn't ready for me to leave her, because she's wildly uncomfortable living with my sisters husband here with her, my other sister, and the kids. it's an inevitable option right now, but she goes through borderline emotional abuse daily due to his mental illness that he can't help; to put it into perspective, he was abused as a child, horrible childhood and adulthood, entire family abandoned him, and he takes more pills than i can count. he'd be dangerous if he didn't take them. i'm aware of that, and she is too. half the time, he acts like a child, even getting jealous of his own children's good things that come a lot of the time.
i'm rambling. point is, i feel hopeless in my current situation. i also help with bills, so i'd feel the heavy burden of leaving my family, especially my mom and sister, and also not financially helping as much as i could if i didn't live alone.
but my fear is that i'm going to get beyond help. over half my life i've done things that have permanently affected me, and lately, my mental health has gotten depleted to scary levels. i become suicidal much more often than is normal i feel, and i don't like that. i desperately crave and want to feel content in life, maybe even happy someday, but i'm getting nowhere the way i'm living.
if he were here, i'd ask his advice, give him a hug, and feel a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. i feel more alone than before i had a bf, and before i had friends. i feel the worse i've felt my entire life. it's as if my mouth is locked, and i don't have the key, and i know if i did, i wouldn't be able to open it.
sometimes, i'd like to be selfish and request a hug, or request for someone to listen to me, but i can't. the times i have, it's never worth it. i'm the one to give.
why is it, that i'm there for my friends and they always appreciate me being there to listen and give perfect advice, but i can't find that? i always feel incredible guilt, not to mention that no one seems to care enough to even put effort into speaking or responding, besides my mother, who is in enough pain.
my bf had a bad day, and wouldn't tell me about it. therefor, who do i have to talk to about my relapse, and my dissociation that's been making me become more suicidal than ever? when i pray, i always hope that perhaps i'll feel a warm hand on my shoulder, or a swift force of glowing comfort rush through me, but i never feel any of it. i'll continue to, but it doesn't help with my ever growing craving and need to talk to someone and feel genuine warmth and comfort.
i want a hug, i want a nice warm loving hug, i selfishly want what i don't give enough of. i want to feel genuine intense love that irradiates the very definition of love, and everything it stands for. is this only because i lost my father? is it only because i feel deep down inside, my bf isn't the best for me and my situation?
he's always there, and insists he'll never leave, but somehow it doesn't feel good enough. it isn't enough for me. he isn't enough, and i hate myself for admitting it, but his love isn't the love i always crave and seek. in a week, it'll be our 4 year anniversary. i feel nothing regarding it. i've accepted that he's as good as i'll get, due to no one else being able to ever handle me or love me, considering i also don't deserve it, but i'm not happy. he is, he's incredibly happy, and is content. he's comfortable in this situation, and i'm just alone and empty.
but, i'd be so much more alone without him.
i just wish someone would care enough to ask me how i am. i cant remember the last time someone did.
and i miss my father.

NR441/442/444 Community Health Nursing
Required Uniform Assignment: Care of Populations Guidelines
Purpose The purpose of this assignment is to provide an opportunity for students to work collaboratively while applying community health concepts and the nursing process to the care of a population.
Course outcomes: This assignment enables the student to meet the following course outcomes:
Provide comprehensive care with increasing autonomy to individuals, families, aggregates, and communities in a variety of health care settings based on theories and principles of nursing and related disciplines. (PO 1)
Integrate clinical judgment in professional decision making and implement the nursing process in the community health setting. (PO 4)
Communicate effectively with client populations and with other healthcare providers in managing the healthcare of individuals, families, aggregates, and communities. (PO 3)
Practice in established professional roles to provide cost‐effective, quality healthcare to consumers in structured and unstructured settings. (PO 7)
Demonstrate leadership skills and collaborate with consumers and other health care providers in direct care or delegation of responsibilities within all levels of healthcare. (PO 2)
Accept accountability for personal and professional development as part of the life‐long learning process. (PO 5)
Incorporate evidence‐based practice in the provision of professional nursing care to individuals, families, aggregates, and communities. (PO 8)
Due date: Your faculty member will inform you when this assignment is due. The Late Assignment Policy applies to this assignment.
Total points possible: 100 points Preparing the assignment Follow these guidelines when completing this assignment. Speak with your faculty member if you have questions.
Student teams of three to four persons will form either by faculty assignment or self‐selection.
The team will conduct a community assessment that includes a windshield survey.
The presentation will be no longer than 15 minutes in length, with an additional 5 minutes for answering questions from the audience.
Review the Healthy People Leading Health Indicators at: https://health.gov/healthypeople/objectives-and-data/leading-health-indicators
Ideas for obtaining additional demographic data include but are not limited to the following:
County health rankings at http://www.countyhealthrankings.org/
Census reports at https://www.census.gov/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention vital signs at: https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/topics.html
6) Include the following sections (detailed criteria listed below and in the Grading Rubric).
a. Community Assessment ‐ 25 points/25%
Provides a description of the community based on the findings from the team’s windshield survey.
Provides pictures or videos taken during the windshield survey clearly identifying windshield survey elements.
Discusses demographic data.
Discusses geographic data.
Uses data from databases, interviews, and the textbook to support the assessment.
Aggregate (Target) Population ‐ 10 points/10%
Identifies an aggregate population, based on age vulnerability, culture, or chronic disease, to develop a community health diagnosis, plan, interventions and evaluation.
Includes a thorough description of the aggregate population.
Aggregate population is based on three or more elements or risks that impose a negative impact on the health of the community, identified in the community assessment.
Identifies gatekeepers or key informants who will assist the community health nurse in gaining access to the population of interest.
Community Health Diagnoses ‐ 10 points/10%
Includes two community health diagnoses using the data from the community assessment.
Includes one wellness diagnosis.
Diagnoses are listed in the order of priority justified by the data findings and analysis.
The diagnoses consist of four components: the identification of the health problem or risk, the affected aggregate, the etiological statement, and the support for the diagnosis (Nies, 2019, p. 102).
Plan for Priority Diagnosis ‐ 10 points/10%
Includes a minimum of 1 short‐term and 1 long‐term goal for identified priority diagnosis.
Goals relate to the identified priority diagnosis.
Goals follow the SMART format: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed.
Explains how the plan allows for client involvement.
Explains how the plan advances the knowledge of members of the community.
e. Interventions for Priority Diagnosis ‐ 10 points/10%
Proposed interventions are specific to the identified priority diagnosis and assist in meeting the identified goals.
Proposed interventions are supported by scholarly, evidence based sources.
Identifies the level of prevention for proposed interventions.
Identifies the category and level of practice (community, systems, or individual/family) that best describes the proposed interventions from the Public Health Intervention Wheel (Nies, 2019, p. 14).
f. Evaluation for Priority Diagnosis – 10 points/10%
Discusses evaluation from the level of a client to the aggregate population.
Describes the measures that will be used to evaluate meeting the identified goals.
Evaluation plan establishes specific outcome criteria for evaluating the identified goals.
The evaluation plan includes specific elements to determine efficacy of interventions (how, who, when).
g. Community Resources – 15 points/15%
Identifies a minimum of two community partners or agencies that can serve as resources for carrying out the proposed interventions.
Includes an evidence-based rationale for why the community partner or agency is the ideal partner for the proposed interventions.
Identifies specific resources at the community partner or agency that can be used by the community or population.
Describes websites or other electronic sources that provide support for the proposed intervention.
h. APA Style and Presentation ‐ 10 points/10%
Maintains professionalism, including presence of all team members, adhering to the time limit, and using presentation software.
References are submitted with assignment.
Uses current APA format and is free of errors.
Grammar and mechanics are free of errors.
At least three (3) scholarly, primary sources from the last 5 years, excluding the textbook, are provided.
For writing assistance, visit the Writing