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Petite Jupiter is my best friend. Ethan Fadely is my best friend. Atlas Rogue is my best friend.
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Perfect Quarter
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Non-Title Champion vs Champion: FBE Television Champion Cactus Mike vs FBE Junior Heavyweight Champion Paddy Murphy
The sky was pink, London was rowdy, and our first match was banging. Two of the most adored current champions in the company butted heads in a dream interdivision exhibition, leaving the fans rather torn on who to cheer for, The Ark’s animals making elephant noises for their Cactus buddy, and the Dojo section doing some awfully racist Japanese impressions. There’s never been a more 50/50 split before, and rightfully so, both men bringing the heat to Twickenham. The New Hardcore Legend lived up to his moniker even without the weaponry, beating the planks out of the World’s Most Wanted as evidence for the four defences already to his name, but as always, when you back Paddy Murphy against the wall, that’s when he shines the brightest, crashing down upon Mike with blinding lights like he’s The Weeknd. With Sensei’s teachings reverberating in his ear, it was a strong start to the night for The Sham-Rock N’ Scot Connection as Murphy’s Law was enacted on the sinking boatsman!
Paddy Murphy def. Cactus Mike (F)
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Petite Jupiter Invitational: Arslan Malik vs Ferdinand Maxim vs Guy Fawkes vs Mr. Calcote Miller vs Vix
Five Guys. Did you know that’s a restaurant? They’re not meant to be here in England. If you see one, it’s been illegally imported. That left these people mad. They were hungry. Oskar Leube BBQ hours. Learn how to cook, Corey Youngblood. Who can win a Nando’s gift card??? Like anyone deprived of food, these five tapped into their inner cavemen, banging their chests and ready to tear any available meat off the bone. It was cannibalistic. It was gory. It was beautiful. Vix and Arslan Malik hit the deck first, swashbuckled off into the ocean. Guy Fawkes was next, his surname betraying him, no bonfire for him. Boiling down to the Frenchman and the World-Class Working Class Gentleman, England had its clear favourite, cheering on the Liverpudlian, but this wasn’t the 2019-20 Premier League. Oil money was here to save the day, Le Prince de Paris taking home a massive win back to his hexagonal homeland!
Ferdinand Maxim (6) def. Mr. Calcote Miller (5), Guy Fawkes (3), Vix (2), Arslan Malik (2)
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Mark Steel vs Michael Menzies II
Mark Steel. Famed telephone pole hater. Liam O’Connor’s best friend (fake Irishmen!!!). He was finally back in action after fending off the Taliban to take on a mortal enemy from the same pond, Scottish Hero Michael Menzies. The last time he fought the Junior, he put a feller called Kalamity in his place, showing him how Death to Juniors cruelly rules his painfully insignificant existence. But then Michael discovered the meaning of true friendship. Steel was screwed (pun). Watching his friend beat the odds in the opener was all the motivation the Future-Proof needed to kick DTJ’s door off its hinges and beat Mark over the foot with a bedpan in the ER, hatred being translated into excruciating levels of agony both ways. When they found themselves on their last legs, the hometown UK laddie knocked the breaks off Peak Performance, Menzies avenging his cold Spring by injecting further warmth into his Summer!
Michael Menzies (15) def. Mark Steel (7)
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Simon Brown vs Kentaro Sakamoto vs Travis Broski
Three cool dudes with attitudes. This is not a restaurant. But this is a banger all the same, no mash needed. All getting their big breaks through tournaments, they found themselves in a league of their own here to crown which of them holds the most potential to rule the Blitz lands one day, smashing each other’s heads into canvases and destroying buttons on their controllers to make their efforts known. Obligatory Fire Pro Wrestling World reference. This match was not for the faint of heart (PC gamers) as real men did real men things like they’re William Regal. Simon Brown made it all look too easy the buttery-smooth competitor he is, but butter can both be sliced through, or for those Republicans with guns, shot through. Guess what Kentaro Sakamoto did? Boom. No more gun control in England. It’s Anarchy in the UK. It’s Sex Pistols. WAITWAITWAITWAITNONONONONO. Famed Undercity Underdog has done it again. He’s snuck in from the back of the race when everyone thought he’d be the next victim of a licence to kill, deporting the competition to win! Brock Lesnar was here.
Travis Broski (11) def. Kentaro Sakamoto (7), Simon Brown (4)
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Unadulterated Quarter
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James Scott vs Jason Beggs
He went from undesirable to ir-goddamn-resistible. He is Jason Beggs and he wants to fight (Fit Finlay gimmick infringement). He’s not settling for the little koi in the ponds though. He went fishing for the big one. He reeled in an entire James Scott. And thus, the fate of humanity hung in the balance. Did Jason bait him in successfully? Did James’s 1000 word-long title do the trick? Can Beggs pronounce salmon? Will Ospreay can’t. Can Scott pronounce salmon?????? This was the end of what we used to know, a once young phoenixed Beggs on the cusp of greatness by spreading his wings over the accomplished inaugural Lifeline Classic winner, wanting another feather in his cap. The Purest Protagonist wasn’t about to let the story not be about him though, trying to give Jason brain damage if it meant remaining relevant, though even with his brains turned to mush, his spirit wasn’t, Beggs bursting through Scott to infinity and beyond! That’s what’s up.
Jason Beggs (13) def. James Scott (6)
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Battle of the Best II: DTJ (Misery, Hunter Maguire, Joshua Epps) vs PROVINCE (Sebastian King, Erick Koeman, Karma) vs The RISE (Ripley, John LaGuardia, Victor Williams)
This is the greatest match of all-time. Firestorm 81 can go die. These 9 men did it infinitely better. DTJ. PROVINCE. The RISE. The goddamn future of our industry. 3 of these even have the chance to main event BTE this year. One of these was in the Shining Light League Finals. Another was in the Punish & Crush II Finals. One dominated the Junior Division for record-breaking lengths after winning the Gedo Classic III, two won the Television Championship and another one may do so soon. This was drama at its finest. An utterly insane sprint Dragongate-style with enough hot tags to cook an entire steak. These 9 made me love wrestling again. Competition remaining tight as ever until the final whistle was blown, no one left here a loser, but DTJ sure cemented themselves as trophy-worthy, taking home the second Battle of the Best in Misery’s home country!
DTJ (Misery, Hunter Maguire, Joshua Epps) (9) def. PROVINCE (Sebastian King, Erick Koeman, Karma) (7) and The RISE (Ripley, John LaGuardia, Victor Williams) (4)
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EED vs JOHN
These are two freaks of nature. They don’t make professional wrestlers like these anymore. A skull-screwing, bone-breaking history-maker who competed in the first FBE match ever of both a Firestorm and PPV capacity against a lady-fainting, no-nonsense hunk of a brute who’s been leading his own rise through the pages of encyclopaedias, turning everyone into his playthings. This was big. This was meaty. And they damn sure slapped each other to oblivion and back. JOHN, looking to take the ALL CAPS throne for himself, took the fight to his predecessor, yelling that the future is now, old man. The Notorious wasn’t walking off into the night that easy though. He knows of the Long Knives. All risks will be taken to avoid a repeat. Pummelling each other with such intensity to make even Stan Hansen take a few paces, these two physical specimens wore each other down to fine granules of sand, with the Misfit stomping the OG back to the past!
JOHN (16) def. EED (6)
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Regal Quarter
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Nate Matthews vs T.M Imran
It’s T.M Imran time, baby. PRIMETIME forever. Capital STEEZ loves him. Ethan Fadely loves him. Conor Cassidy loves him. But Nate Matthews had no love for the Pakistani. He didn’t want no Biryani nor Nihari. He wanted to stomp out the fire of the Fifth Asian Tiger. Pouncing on one another like wild animals in the savannas, there was no love lost between these two, bloodlust fuelling their insatiable desires to pack pack kill kill. Imran’s path to immortality required butchering the God Butcher and he was all for it, the fury of Gods in him like Shazam bringing out the best in him, though Nate was never as much as two steps behind even this deep into his veteran years. Giving him the Living Legend treatment, he put T.M through the toughest test of his life, but Imran walked out of it an even better competitor, finally taking down the man who refused to show him respect the easy way!
T.M Imran (12) def. Nate Matthews (8)
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Bong vs Bengt Holm
I want you to stop and really think for a second. Can your life get better? Can it get worse? How do we get through each day, closer to the Earth by every second, knowing there very well could be more to life, and yet we painstakingly ignore it?
Wake up.
It's time to fucking sort yourself out. You take the kids to school yet? Did you even make them breakfast? Do you ever? Did they learn to tie their shoes by themselves or did you show them?
Society is crumbling and all we do is type and wank and touch ourselves. Touch something. Something different, something new. Touch grass, feel ass.
And that is why I'm officially declaring my support for ma.çé & mån.sôör's 2024 Presidential Campaign. We have to strive to be better, and these two right here are the ones to do it.
My god the sex appeal is just off the charts, the fashion? Don't even get me started. They put the rizz in charizzma. It's an out-of-body experience just to absorb a second of the same air that they consume.
They say cleanliness is second to holiness, I think they're wrong. I think it's second to the Maximum Male Models. It's time to push them.
Bong out.
Bengt Holm (16) def. Bong (6)
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Atlas Rogue vs Ethan Fadely VII
This was it. The final frontier in a legendary rivalry between two of the finest wrestlers FBE has ever seen in its 1000+ days. The Godfather of Pure Rules, King Blitz, Atlas Rogue. The Son of the Roses, The Aether Ace, Ethan Fadely. One of the greatest of this match type against 2022’s Wrestler of the Year. Sol Ace was at his deadliest yet here after damn near having his career ripped from him at the hands of Fadely, only the work of the finest surgeon able to patch him back together for this bout to be sanctioned.
Ethan, meanwhile, was no less as savage as had been seen in each previous war against one of his most despised people on the planet, emulating his cold-blooded performances at each past New Beginning to put the fear of God into any sensible individual. But for Atlas, sense had left the window eons ago. This man took what was most precious to him and pissed on it. He laughed and mocked and beat King Blitz at his own game. Revenge was not only desirable but necessary. As the cowboys drew their pistols one last time, it was Ethan’s rose-coloured insides spilled on the canvas, Atlas walking off into the Sun, 4-3 in his favour!
Atlas Rogue (13) def. Ethan Fadely (10)
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Excellence Quarter
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British Rounds: Desmond Caid vs Capital STEEZ VIII
Still going, baby.
Team Jimmy? Team Steve?
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Non-Title: FBE World Heavyweight Champion Inferno vs Petite Jupiter III
Bloodshed between enemies is undoubtedly hellish, but bloodshed between brothers is the most viscous kind that could ever be found, and the blood which remained between Inferno and Petite Jupiter was the thickest of all. Once holding the FBE World Tag Team Championship together to now treating one another like strangers in the night, an underlying bitterness wafted about the London air, the Aether Ace needing to beat one of two men he’s never been able to, and the Shining Light adamant to bring his brother back from the depths of darkness whilst getting a lick on his championship that’s long eluded him.
Even after a year and a half away, PJ turned the clocks back effortlessly against the FBE World Heavyweight Champion, reminding his hometown why he was in the match to crown its first titleholder all those years ago, and especially giving the Brummie Bastard painful flashbacks to each time he failed to block out the light. And yet, even with Jupiter’s seamlessness, something had changed, though not within him. It was Inferno, continuing to perform unlike he has in the many preceding years. Having evolved into his final form – a simply cruel force of nature, tearing through forests of wisdom and saplings of potential – there was no stopping Papa PPV’s wrath, recreating the scenes of the first Carnage Tour as he left his brother for dead!
Inferno (17) def. Petite Jupiter (4)
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FBE Pure Championship: Shining Light League Winner FBE World Tag Team Champion Dr. Logan Wright (c) vs Apeirogone 3rd Defence
3 months of a gruelling Shining Light League and possibly 6 more of deliberate brick-placing have led to this moment. 9 months ago, Dr. Logan Wright captured the FBE Pure Championship for the very first time. 9 months ago, Apeirogone waged his first war on The Ark in his first and only Pure Rules match to date. Whilst Cactus Mike was taken down, two stone pillars stopped the Infinity Ace dead in his tracks, Code Blue and Kaze Tanaka seemingly ending his story. That is, until the final member called his name from the mountaintop. The Ark’s 2023 MVP, the Final Boss of Blitz, the now only two-time Pure Champion looking to make his third defence and sixth overall his most iconic yet, he challenged the Final Boss of FB in his career’s most crucial match yet.
And for the first majority of their dream fight, it was shockingly one-sided, the Medicinal Magician enforcing a lockdown on his division, reminding Ape that even for all his incredible accomplishments, this wasn’t his home, nor was it his match to lose. But then, the first glimmer of hope arose. Apeirogone, bounding back like he’s always done, refusing to let an unfamiliar environment get the better of him. But no, he met the Earth again, being forced into the dirt by the unyielding boot of FBE’s Resident Doctor, once more seeming to have him beat. And yet, it still wasn’t over.
Channelling otherworldly levels of motivation, Ape simply refused to go out this way on his second lease on life, reminding Logan what the true makings of a Final Boss are. Even when you knock them down, even when you think you have the advantage for the briefest of moments, they’ll cruelly wrench that away from you in a heartbeat. And that’s exactly what the three-time World Champion did here, teaching Wright he still has some ways to go before he’s the all-encompassing Final Boss he desires to be, the veteran once more being the downfall of the Doctor as Apeirogone became the fifth FBE Pure Champion in history!
Apeirogone (12) def. Dr. Logan Wright (c) (11) to win the FBE Pure Championship
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What a goddamn rollercoaster of a show, lads! Incredible work from everyone who participated on one of the biggest Fantasy Booking cards we’ve ever had. With the past, present, and future all gathering to stamp their names into the annals of what will become a grand annual spectacle, you should all be very proud of what you’ve accomplished and continue to accomplish here. We’ll be taking a breather for a couple weeks until after WarZone V with Blitz so rest up, get your energy back, and get ready for another long stretch into our next PPV – August’s Rush Hour! Pure rules.

I recently found this 2015 Q50s on carfax and it said no accidents have been reported, then I found the car on a other site and it said it had been an in accident. I called the dealership selling it to ask and they said it was probably an error. What could be the reason for this?