Welcome back, it's Wednesday and I'll just come out and say it - that Seiko is ugly... Change my mind.

What's new

1/
Seiko Adds Four Completely New Chronographs To The Prospex Collection And Four Limited Editions To The Presage Craftsmanship Series
In 1999 Seiko launched a limited edition they called the Sportura Kinetic Chronograph. It was a funky watch that used four subdials to display the time and chronograph functions. Just looking at it and you feel the angst of the end of the millennium and the cheesy futurism (not to be confused with neo futurism in architecture led by Norman Foster, Zaha Hadid and Santiago Calatrava) that permeated industrial design of the time - from Oakley glasses to Jnco jeans. There’s no easy way to say this, but it’s an ugly watch. I can appreciate the experiment. But come on.
However, Seiko believes that the four dial layout of the Kinetic was pleasing to the eye. That’s why they decided to recreate it in four new solar chronographs that they are adding to the Prospex collection, marking the company’s association with the World Athletics Championships to be held in Budapest, Hungary, in August. Officially called the Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph, all four watches sport a new movement with the Seiko Caliber 8A50, a 1/100-second chronograph with a +/- 15-seconds per month precision rating.
The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch is 42mm-wide, 12.9mm-thick, and its lug-to-lug distance is 48.3mm. All four watches have the same case and bracelet design but in different executions and ever-so-slightly different prices and naming schemes. I could go on into detail about the dials and colors, but it’s all just a bit confusing. You can hop on over here if you would like to know more.
Two of the models will be limited edition of 4,000 each and two will be regular production models. The Seiko Prospex Speedtimer Solar Chronograph watch prices range from 890 Euros to 970 Euros, and all four versions will be available from July 2023. Regular readers of the newsletter will know I keep things very chipper here and don’t pass judgement. But these new Seiko’s are just baffling to me. They look like those Diesel watches you buy at the mall. Am I wrong?
Thankfully, Seiko has another announcement for today. While they have shown these watches previously, they are now starting to sell these stunning Presage Craftsmanship Series watches. Marking the 110th anniversary of its first wristwatch, the Laurel, Seiko is putting out two pairs of these limited edition pieces, with each featuring a dial made by a dedicated artisan or craft workshop through a traditional Japanese decorative technique — enamel, urushi lacquer, Arita porcelain, and shippō enamel. All four models boast a new case shape, a fresh dial aesthetic, and an in-house automatic movement. And they are now hitting the market.
And despite Seiko’s price increases for recent releases, these new editions seem to align with their predecessors. The white enamel SPB393 retails for €1,650, the brown urushi SPB395 for €2,000, the ivory Arita porcelain SPB397 for €2,000, and the blue shippō enamel SPB399 for €2,250.
2/
Breguet Gives Us Two Redesigned Variations Of The Classic Chronograph With The Type XX And Type 20
Just the other day I linked to a great article on Type 20, the references issued by the French military in the 1950s. There were many brands who stepped up to produce these Type 20 watches, but the reference has stuck around to be synonymous with one brand in particular - Breguet. They have been making the Type 20 for years now, with occasional updates, but now Breguet is unveiling the new Type XX and Type 20 – a civilian and military-inspired take on the classic design - which is the biggest change to the line.
Despite at first glance looking like it’s two of the same watches with different dials, the Type 20 and Type XX are actually different watches. Both watches come in the same steel case that measures 42mm wide and 14.1mm thick with bidirectional steel bezels and matching lume pips. But this is pretty much where the similarities stop. The Type 20 has a military inspired dial with mint green lume and syringe hands, while the Type XX is a civilian version with a creamy yellow lume and alpha hands.
The Type 20 and Type XX both have a new self-winding movement, the Calibre 728 for the civilian version and Calibre 7281 for the military version. Each movement has a column wheel, vertical clutch, 5Hz frequency, and flyback functionality with 60 hours of power reserve, plus an inverted in-line lever escapement with a flat silicon balance spring for increased durability, longevity, and magnetic resistance.
Why two different calibers? The difference lies in dial layout and how useful it would be in military or civilian applications. On the military version, you only have two registers, with a 30-minute totalizer at three o'clock, now larger than the 60-second totalizer at nine o'clock. Meanwhile, the civilian version has a 15-minute totalizer at three o'clock, a 12-hour totalizer at six o'clock, and running seconds at nine o'clock.
This is not a cheap watch. It will run you $18,000. But it might just be one of the best vintage revivals we have seen in a year full of vintage revivals.
3/
French Watchmaker Yema Teams Up With Alpine French Racing Team To Mark The Most French Race With Five New Watches
One of the most legendary races in the world starts on Saturday and ends on Sunday. Yes, it’s the 24 hours of Le Mans. The race is, of course, one of the most recognisable french things, alongside the croissant and hating tourists. You know what else is very french? Alpine, the legendary car manufacturer that gained it’s fame with the quirky A110 and is currently doing really well (under Renault ownership) with its successor, also called the A110. Alpine will be present at the 24h of Le Mans With their Endurance Team. If only there was a watchmaker that could join in, making it a French hat trick. There is. It’s Yema. Yema has made five new watches to mark Alpine’s stint at Le Mans - the Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition and four Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic models of which one is mechanical while the other three are powered by the Seiko VK64 meca-quartz movement.
The Yema Rallygraf A470 Limited Edition takes all the right cues from 70s racing chronographs. The stainless steel case is 39mm wide and 12mm thick without the double-domed sapphire crystal. The solid caseback shows the Alpine Endurance Team logo and the limitation of the watch. The dial is finished in a gradient-blue colour, Alpine’s signature color, with a vintage dashboard-inspired bicompax layout and Alpine’s logo on the chronograph seconds hand. Inside the watch is the Valjoux 7753 and the watch comes on an appropriate black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. This watch will be limited to 470 pieces and can be pre-ordered for a price of USD 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
This runs at a frequency of 28,800vph and delivers 48 hours of power reserve. The watch comes on a black leather rally strap with a steel pin buckle. Limited to 470 pieces, tying in with the car, it can be pre-ordered for a price of EUR 2,190 with delivery expected in September 2023.
Then there’s the meca-quartz variants. They take the same case as the Rallygraf and give it three variations - white dial with a blue outside minute track, a cream dial with a black outside minute track or a black dial with a cream outside minute track. All of these are also available for preorder now for EUR 399 and will be delivered in September 2023.
Yema also announced a second mechanical watch made in collaboration with Alpine, the Rallygraf Alpine Endurance Team Automatic. This will officially be unveiled this coming Saturday at the Circuit de la Sarthe, during the racing weekend of the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Although we don’t know all the details at this moment, we can see it’s made of stainless steel, comes on a multi-link bracelet or black leather strap and has a black dial. The bidirectional rotating bezel can be used to calculate speeds, in combination with the inner ‘Temps Ecoule’ flange in white and blue. It is powered by the in-house Calibre YEMA2000 and will cost USD 990.
4/
The Dan Henry 1970 44mm is back with new colours and the same, affordable price
You might know Dan Hendy as the microbrand that has been pumping out vintage inspired watches since 2016. What you might not know is that they made their name with the Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver, the first of their watches to feature an automatic movement. While it might not seem like a big deal, it was for Dan Hanry and the shoppers in the sub $500 range. While Dan Henry serviced it’s customers by providing good value for money with quartz movements, the 1970 44mm Automatic Diver was the first time they offered a mechanical movement at such an affordable price. It sold out instantly and now, four years later, they are back with a limited edition of 1970 pieces.
It’s a very big watch. Very big. The heavy stainless steel super compressor style case measures 44mm in diameter and is 14.8mm thick with a 50.5mm lug-to-lug length. Despite these large dimensions, and with all other manufacturers fighting to go smaller, people still love this watch. They love it enough for it to go for over retail on the secondary market, which is not common for a watch in this pricepoint. Both of the crowns, one for rotating the inner-bezel and one for adjusting the time, screw into the case, giving it 200m water resistance.
The dials get a contrasting pop of color on the outskirts. There’s the black and orange, as well as the black and off-white with a black case and blue with white color combinations. Each version comes with its own colour-matching FKM rubber tropic strap. To keep the price low, the watches are powered by the Seiko NH35. Not the best movement in the world, but it gets the job done for an exceptionally low price.
The new Dan Henry 1970 44mm Automatic Diver is limited to 1,970 pieces, available from Dan Henry and costs $310.
5/
Bamford Teams Up With Land Rover For The LR002 Limited Edition
Somehere near the end of last year, Land Rover designed their first watch. They called it the LR001 and they turned to Bamford to put the watch into production. It was a great looking field watch made of titanium and all in shades of grey, with a decent price and limited to 100 pieces so they all sold out very fast. Now, Bamford London and Land Rover are bringing it back with an updated, equally limited, version in all black called the LR002.
The LR002 is pretty much the same watch as the LR001, except for the color. While not a fan of black watches, this isn’t a bad thing, as it gives you a chance to buy the sold out Land Rover watch. What is bad is the price, but more on that later. The case measures 40mm wide and 13.25mm thick, and is made out of DLC coated titanium. It has a shape that resembles a field watch but much more modern and has fixed bars. From photos, due to the thick case and fixed bars, this watch looks to wear much larger than it actually is.
The dial seems to be much more interesting than the case. It has a sandwich construction with the top part having a matte black surface and the underside being filled with white lume. And by alternating circular and oblong cutouts, there’s a dynamic look to the dial. Inside the watch is the same movement as in the LR001, the Selita SW200-1B, and it’s delivered on a leather NATO-style bracelet.
The LR002 will have a run of just 100 pieces that are exclusively sold through Hodinkee. At the time of writing there are still pieces available for sale at a price of $1,700. And that’s the biggest issue. The LR001 sold for about $1,300 and the only difference between the two watches is the DLC coating. Is it worth the price difference?
6/
The Casio A120 Is The Best Pairing For Stranger Things, But Do We Need It?
The immense popularity of Stranger Thing undoubtedly lies in it’s 80s nostalgia that reminded us all of our childhoods. While playing to our good memories, it also roped in new generations by picking the best the decade had to offer and presenting it as something cool. That’s why you have a bunch of kids out there listening to Kate Bush and Metallica, while wearing Casio watches and buying VHS tapes. So it only makes perfect sense that Casio would team up with Stranger Things for a limited edition watch, and what better reference to do it with then the A120. This is the Casio x Stranger Things A120WEST-1A.
The watch is a classic Casio A120, with a 33.5mm x 40.7mm rectangle case and since it’s plastic it weighs only 25 grams. It’s not filled with a bunch of functions, but it does have a chronograph, alarm and calendar and you get three years of battery life. There’s a number of Stranger Things references on the watch - there’s a silhouette of the series’ demogorgon monster beneath the digital display and the LED backlight flickers and rapidly blinks just like the surfacing of a demogorgon in the show. Once lit, you can see the watermark of an upside down Stranger Things logo.
Casio has not announced when the watch will be available or how much it will cost, but you can keep an eye out on it here. Is this a nice homage to a good TV show, or just another example of over-consumerism and corporate media properties slapping their name everywhere, without actually making a meaningfully authentic version of the watch?
-------------------------------------------------------------

On hand - a selection of reviews

1/
A review of Monta’s current flagship dress watch, the Noble
2/
Hands on with the 39mm and 42mm versions of the Hanhart 414 ES Flyback
3/
A week with the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore limited edition in pink gold and titanium
-------------------------------------------------------------

Watch Worthy - A look at an offbeat, less known watch you might actually like

Dryden is a go-everywhere-do-anything watch with plenty of options
Great dials are always appreciated, but no matter how good the dial is, it doesn’t matter if the watch isn’t wearable. The excellent design choices found on the dial of the Heartlander follow through to the case. Crafted from stainless steel the 38mm-wide case has a lovely 46mm lug-to-lug distance and is only 11.2mm-thick from solid steel caseback to domed sapphire crystal. These dimensions are in the Goldilocks region for an everyday watch for me and my ~6.5-inch wrist. The cases are predominantly brushed except for a thin highly polished bevel that flanks each side of the lugs.
-------------------------------------------------------------
People loved the Seiko Alpinist giveaway! That's why I'm doing a new one. This time, we're giving away four Hamilton Khaki Field Automatics in a color of your choice. Head on over to the newsletter if you would like to enter.
If you would like to receive some additional watch-adjacent content, as well as this news overview, every morning Monday-Friday in the form of a newsletter feel free to subscribe. However, there is absolutely no need for you to subscribe, as all the news from the newsletter is posted here. It is only if you want to receive a couple of daily links that are not strictly watch-related and want to get this news overview in your inbox.

I have a 2y.o spayed female cat. I bring her outside on a leash with my supervision a couple times a week and she loves it. She does occasionally try and sneak out when I open the door to the house, and she’s got out many times by accident. I hate when she gets out because I’m so scared of losing her. She usually doesn’t go far but she’s fast and i will not let her just free roam ever for her own safety. Last night I got home at 11:30pm from work so it was pitch black out. I opened the door a bit and she bolted out. I just about lost my shit because I was terrified of losing her especially in the dark. She didn’t go far and I was able to catch her but it gave me a damn good scare. I don’t know how to teach her she cannot go out without her leash on. I genuinely believe she knows she’s not allowed to just run off by herself. The only solution I can think off is stop the outside leash time and hopefully she’d forget what it’s like to be outside and therefor not try and escape? But I love bringing her out because I know she loves it. I have a back door that is full glass which is a lot easier to prevent her running out because I can see if she’s sitting there but the front door I cannot see if she’s there waiting, I definitely did not expect her to run out last night, she’s only got out twice when it was dark out. I feel like I hardly had the door open yet before she ran. I could potentially try and use back door more instead of front but it only locks from the inside and I always lock my house when I leave.. any other tips to prevent this?

On Sunday I got some bad sunburn at a lake (wasn’t much hotter than 20c but we were there all day).
Uncomfortable to sleep on but I thought nothing of it. I knew it was bad sunburn as I’m pale and the burnt regions (shoulders, chest, stomach) all stuck out. I rubbed aloe vera aftersun lotion on it a couple times without issue. My clothes irritated it a bit so I was careful putting clothes on.
Then…2 days after burning. I’m on a work trip to a seaside town. Me and my colleague are sitting by the coast having lunch.
I feel a certain tingle across my pecs and my eyes widen. I start jabbering to my colleague about how it’s ‘happening again’ like the giant from Twin Peaks.
I rip off my shirt, and in a blind panic, I spray after sun with aloe Vera onto the area and rub it in.
It’s only then that the most traumatic memory from my childhood hits me with the full force of an acid/PTSD flashback/Freddy Krueger going ‘remember me?’
I was a kid. I stayed in the hotel pool all day. I was burnt but fine until 2 days later when I collapsed onto the floor of an Irish bar my parents were in, writhing and clawing at my back. They thought I’d been spiked.
They took me back to the hotel, put me in a cold shower then rubbed aloe vera lotion on my back. It didn’t take long before I was screaming and begging for it to stop, thrashing about trying to escape my own body. I hadn’t thought about it for a long long time, but as soon as it woke up in June 2023 I realised it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.
Panicking, I left all my stuff with my colleague and staggered along the coast, with tourists watching me slash at my skin non stop, doubled over like the hunchback of notre-dame.
A lot of people describe it as the worst pain of their lives. For me it was different to pain. It’s an itch with such urgency and such depth that you’d drop your newborn baby to scratch it. Only for you to find out that sorry, your nerves are malfunctioning and you can get no relief.
Having that cycle of irritation, relief, irritation, relief that you’ve known your whole life be completely blocked is an eye opening horror that a lot of people must only experience during terminal illness or torture.
Your brain flashes up a sentence. ‘This is different. This is a foe I cannot fight’.
If you have not experienced it, FUCK YOU. If you have experienced it, welcome to a dishonourable club. You will get through this with your mind intact with some simple steps.
For me, this has helped a lot, less than 24 hours into Hell’s Itch as I type this.
-Antihistamines
I took 20mg Loratadine and that got me home from my cancelled work trip without screaming.
-Painkillers
I took a 30mg cocodamol tablet that doped me up good and stopped the fear. Doing the same again today.
-Water
I was quite dehydrated when it started. Chug it. Your skin needs the resources to regenerate faster and get you past nerve irritation.
-Weed/CBD
Fights inflammation, takes your mind elsewhere, but only smoke weed if you are not panicking.
-Slight pressure from clothing
My gentle dressing gown against my chest seems to deaden the feeling compared to cool air against bare skin.
-Peppermint oil
I bought some. Haven’t tried it yet but will if there’s another wave. Dilute it in a little water and dab on the HI areas.
Best of luck.

All good things must come to an end. 🥲
As you surely know by now, this will be the very last Cup in The Silph Arena's long and glorious history. And so even though I slowly faded away from my monthy meta writeups for Silph some time ago (I think it's been over a year now! 🥹), I HAD to come back for one last ride together, my friends. Like many of you, I only ever got into PvP because of The Arena, and was a PvP veteran when GBL was still but a twinkle in John Hanke's eye. Many wonderful memories of tournaments and communities, local and remote, that I will cherish always.
And of course: YOU, my dear readers. I am sorry I stepped back, but you all surpassed beyond me and my relatively simple meta overviews. After a while, budget picks became less and less necessary to study as you had more and more tools already at your disposal, built up from the metas of the past.
In short, to paraphrase the great Yoda himself: I am what you grew beyond. That is the true burden of all teachers.
And perhaps, here at the end, you still don't need my simple budget heroes, my rather basic overview of the meta and, of course, off-meta potential wonders. You know, the thrifty AND the nifty stuff. 😉
But I can think of no better way to say a proper goodbye to the good folks at The Silph Arena AND you, my dear friends, than to give this one last go. Together.
One last..."Nifty Or Thrifty"! For old times' sake.
So here we go!
For those who don't remember, this article series serves a few functions. First, it gives a first blush, comprehensive look at the meta for the upcoming Innocent Cup, particularly from the perspective of which Pokémon are likely worth the cost of leveling up and adding a second charge move (nifty) and which ones would probably work out fine without heavy investment (thrifty), including some alternatives to the more expensive options. For those on a stardust budget — and/or folks trying to save up some dust for the future — it can be daunting trying to figure out where to spend or not spend it. We all want to field competitive teams of six, but where can we get the best bang for our buck and where should we perhaps instead channel our inner scrooge?
And as always, while I have tried to whittle somewhat, this is likely to be a long read, just to warn you up front! But always as per normal, I'll try to keep it entertaining as well. 😃
Before we dive in, make sure to familiarize yourself with what makes up Innocent Cup. It's Dragon, Fairy, Flying, Psychic, and Water type Pokémon, with with Arbok, Dragalge, Garbodor, and Swalot specifically whitelisted in as well. Excluded are Ice, Fire, Poison and Steel types, plus Altaria, Galarian Zapdos, Galarian Moltres, Galarian Articuno, Cresselia, Hawlucha, Lanturn, Mandibuzz, Mantine, Mew, Alolan Ninetales, Noctowl, Pelipper, Pidgeot, and Trevenant are all specifically banned. The full list and rules are over here, so check that out before reading on.
Now it's time to dive in, but only after one final, unapologetic musical intro. Hit it!
🎼 Oops, let's do this again
🎶 Silph played with our hearts
♫ We got lost in the game
♩ Oh baby, baby
♫ Oops, I think I'm in love
♬ Silph was sent from aboooooove
♪ I'm not that Innocent....
Okay, maybe not one of my greatest ever, but it was either this or a mushy goodbye song like "My Way" or something.
Anyway, in retro style, let's go through this final meta in order of cheapest second move cost all the way to the Legendaries. Here we go!

10,000 Dust/25 Candy

ALOLAN RAICHU
Volt Switch Thunder Punch & Wild Charge/Psychic
There is a LOT in AhChu's favor here. It resists Flying, Psychic, Electric, and Fighting damage — all very relevant in this format — and wails on all the Waters and Flyers around. As tempting as Grass Knot is for its ability to blow away the Mud Boys (and other Ground types), I think that if you choose NOT to use Wild Charge, it is Psychic (the move, to keep the old inside joke going!) that you want more, as it can at least slap around the important Poison types in the meta (beating ALL of them, whereas Dragalge and Swalot can escape otherwise). That said, the overall more threatening move remains Wild Charge, which obviously has its drawbacks, but is pretty widely unresisted and alone has the power to blow away things like Hypno, Azumarill, and Araquanid.
EMOLGA
Thunder Shock Discharge & Acrobatics
When I began this article (WAY too long ago now! ), Emolga was a mere footnote here. But that was then, and this is now with the addition of Acrobatics. I still don't know how high Emolga may soar now in PvP, but I know that with THIS meta, it should be off to an impressive start!
SWELLOW
Wing Attack Sky Attack & Brave Bird
Wait wait wait... Wing Attack and Sky Attack and Brave Bird? Why have you hardly seen any of these used? Well, it's much less tanky than Pidgeot and especially Noctowl, which is why they generally get all the press and poor Swellow usually languishes. But one thing that has always separated Silph from GBL are the spot bans, and in this Cup, it is Noctowl and Pidgeot that are on the outside looking in, allowing Swellow to soar high. And beyond the obvious Electrics and a few Fairies, there really isn't too much that it has to fear. Go fly past the competition!
DARTRIX
Leafage Brave Bird & Seed Bomb
Poor Decidueye may remain unexciting in PvP, but at least Dartrix now gets its moment in the spotlight as a budget (and with the addition of Leafage, perhaps even better?) Tropius here. I say "perhaps better" despite the fact that Razor Leaf Trop has a better record because of between the two, only Dartrix manages to overcome Dragalge and Clefable (and spicy Togetic). Trop instead shreds things like Hypno, Gliscor, Wobbuffet, Alolan Raichu, and Seaking, so there's certainly room for both, but Dartrix is absolutely the better fit on some teams.
WHIMSICOTT
Fairy Wind Moonblast & Seed Bomb/Grass Knot
I'm listing Charm and/or Hurricane as options here, but other than the latter sometimes winning the mirror, there's really nothing major they can do that Fairy Wind and Moonblast (along with one of the now-two Grass moves) can't. Only with the speedy charging of Fairy Wind can Whimsie outrace stuff like Azumarill, Tapu Fini, and Whiscash, and Moonblast is more reliable than Hurricane at taking out things like Wobbuffet, Zapdos, and importantly, have the advantage versus Dragalge. As for Grass Knot vs the new Seed Bomb, the former has the power to take down Wobb and Whiscash, while the latter instead now outraces (Fairy Wind) Slurpuff, (Ice Beam) Jellicent, and (Sludge Wave) Swampert. Go with Fairy Wind. You have plenty of other Charm options anyway. For example....
WIGGLYTUFF
Charm Ice Beam & Disarming Voice
Yes, you definitely want both Ice Beam and the new Disarming Voice for Wiggly to be well-rounded, but as is often the case with Charmers, it can often be best to go for the Charm-down, allowing additional wins against stuff like Dedenne, Tapu Fini, Florges. and several fellow Charmers (assuming they are not also trying to just Charm-down). Wiggly remains among the best, if not THE best, pure Charmer in yet another format.
CLEFABLE
Fairy Wind Meteor Mash & Moonblast
Fairy Wind is now the way to go here (and likely in many metas yet to come), as Meteor Mash can do some serious work, especially in whalloping the other Faires! You can run Psychic as well to also shock Poisons (Swalot and Dragalge in particular), but it's overall a bit weaker than Moonblast, which is needed for wins like Azu, Hypno, Wobbuffet, and most of the Electrics in the meta (Dedenne, Zapdos, and Emolga, specifically).
SWALOT
Infestation Sludge Bomb & Ice Beam/Gunk Shot
I've written about Swalot before, but only as an often-desperate attempt to show it as a decent thrifty Poison with upside. But never has it really SHOWN that upside like it does here in Innocent Cup. It can swallow all Grasses and Fairies whole, and can also topple things like DDeoxys, Alolan Raichu, Dedenne, Wobbuffet, Seaking, and fellow Poison Garbodor. Give it Ice Beam for coverage instead of big closer Gunk Shot, and while it gives up a couple Fairies (Azumarill, Tapu Fini) and Araquanid, it gains Ice-weak Zapdos and Zweilous instead. Swalot is not only finally a breakout star here at the end of Arena play, but you have legit options with it! You love to see it.
SWAMPERT
Mud Shot Hydro Cannonᴸ & Earthquake/Sludge Wave
It would be easy to assume that Sludge Wave is clearly THE way to go in this meta filled with Fairies and key Grass types. And there is wisdom in that, as Sludge does indeed conquer every Fairy here except the new Fairy Wind Togetic. But there remains just a strong a case for good old Earthquake instead, as it instead knocks out all the Poisons, plus Zweilous, Jellicent, and enemy Swamperts. The choice is even more in Quake's favor for Shadow Swampert, as it beats all the major Fairies besides Togekiss, Togetic, Azu, and Whimsie, still uniquely takes down Dragalge, Jellicent, and Swampert, and adds to that Whiscash and Rainy Castform as well. I understand the attention being given to Sludge Wave... Innocent Cup IS one of the better fits for it. Just don't put those blinders on too tightly. Earthquake still bears consideration too, depending on the rest of your team. And of course, there is also Shadow Swampert, which I think also prefers Earthquake, beating everything Quake non-Shadow Swampie can, PLUS Clefable, Tapu Fini, and Slurpuff as non-Shadow can only if it has Sludge Wave, AND completely unique wins versus Gliscor, Zapdos, and Rainy Castform too!
WHISCASH
Mud Shot Mud Bomb & Blizzard
Aside from the just-buffed Mud Bomb making Whiscash a bit better anyway, it has one other big thing going for it in this meta that separates it from Swampert: Blizzard, which simply destroys Flyers (Drifblim, Emolga, Jumpluff, Togekiss, Togetic) that Swampert can't touch, as well as Whimsicott for good measure. Sure, Whiscash can't match Swampert's wins versus things like Hypno, Florges, Tapu Fini, or Florges, and usually will lose to Swampert in the head to head, but at least it stands on pretty equal footing in this meta. Some teams will want one, some will want the other. Which do YOU prefer, my friend?
BLASTOISE
Water Gun Hydro Cannonᴸ & Ice Beam
As always, Blastoise is not exactly exciting, but it can get the job done in a pinch. Its excellent bulk allows it to hang in and beat every meta Fairy that isn't part Water or Grass, and also handles things like Drifblim, Swampert and Whiscash, Swalot and Garbodor, and thanks to Ice Beam, Dragalge, Jumpluff, and (Air Slash) Tropius as well. Nothing flashy, but solid as always. I do not particularly recommend Shadow Blastie.
GOLISOPOD
Shadow Claw X-Scissor & Liquidation
Golisopod is suddenly interesting now that it has all-new move Liquidation, which brings in new wins like Whiscash (it already beat Swampert), Swalot, Drifblim, and Gliscor. Add to this some surprising wins like Azumarill, Rainy Castform, and Alolan Raichu, and Golisopod may be more spicy than meta itself, but it's certainly on the upswing.
GYARADOS
Dragon Breath Aqua Tailᴸ & Crunch
Gyarados does just enough to be interesting, including taking out all the Poisons and Dragons in the meta, all Grounds but Quagsire, and stuff like Hypno, Wobbuffet, Jellicent, Rainy Castform, Drifblim, Araquanid. Slurpuff, and even Jumpluff. Not bad, right? Just don't get too cute with Shadow Gary.
SWOOBAT
Confusion Psychic Fangs & Aerial Ace
Hey, leave it to me for the oddball picks, especially among the "thrifty" 10ks. Swoobat is NOT a good PvP Pokémon, but it DOES come with Confusion to blow away the scary Poisons, and being a Flyer means it performs well against things like Swampert, Medicham, and the Grasses as well. It also manages to several of the big name Fairies and even Gliscor and Rainy Castform too. Not fantastic, but a lot of potential fun in this final Silph Cup.

50,000 Dust/50 Candy

SEAKING
Poison Jabᴸ Icy Windᴸ & Drill Runᴸ
One thing that doesn't change, despite all the new Fairy Wind around, is that Seaking still wipes away ALL the Fairies here, even really scary ones like Dedenne and Aromatisse/Slurpuff, even with fast-charging Fairy Wind and their scary Electric and Grass charge moves. With its adaptive moveset, it also handles big Poisons Dragalge and Garbodor, Flyers like Gliscor, Tropius, Emolga, and Jumpluff (and most non-Razor Leaf Grasses in this meta in general), and Dragons like Zweilous. Versatile and a LOT of fun, Seaking earns every bit of its current Top 3 Ranking in Innocent Cup!
JUMPLUFF
Fairy Wind Energy Ball & Acrobaticsᴸ
So here's one that DOES take a little hit with the redistribution of Fairy Wind (but Jumpie is still pretty good!). Jumpluff beats all the major Fairies except Florges... unless they're running Fairy Wind. But now it loses to FW Clefable, who is likely to suddenly be quite popular, and FW Togetic, who I feel like folks are going to bring as long-desired spice. It also has not a prayer against most Poisons (though it can handle Dragalge thanks to resisting Aqua Tail) but beats most Waters, Wobb, Medicham, Hypno, Zweilous, and even Tropius.
DEDENNE
Thunder Shock Discharge & Play Rough
When and I other analysts starting looking over this meta, we got very excited about Deedee. Upon further review, I personally like Alolan Raichu better overall, as it knocks out things Dedenne cannot like Hypno, Florges, Drifblim, Jumpluff, Seaking (Deedee does NOT like Poison damage!), Fini, Castform, and Clefable. Dedenne IS still quite good, with its better bulk and Fairy subtyping allowing it unique wins like Wobbuffet, Slurpluff, and Zweilous. And of course, you can always put Deedee AND AhChu on the same team of six....
FLORGES
Fairy Wind Disarming Voice & Moonblast
So Florges doesn't do anything particularly unique, as it is arguably best running with all Fairy moves. It CAN do some neat things with Vine Whip, like beating Jellicent and winning the mirror, but Fairy Wind is just better, instead taking out Jumpluff, Hypno, Wobbuffet, Whimsicott, Tropius and more.
As for other 50k Fairies:

• AROMATISSE is just kind of there. Thunderbolt is nice coverage in this meta in theory, but of course Charm makes it more of a Hail Mary than something to truly threaten all the Waters and Flyers with.
  
• SLURPUFF can operate with Fairy Wind, though it does so much less successfully than others. It's actually probably also best as a Charmer, just, again, a rather unexciting one. At least Flamethrower and Energy Ball are fantastic coverage options if you ever get to throw them!
  
• GRANBULL and TOGEKISS are even less exciting. Pass.
  

There is ONE other Fairy well worth mentioning here, though....
AZUMARILL
Bubble Ice Beam & Hydro Pump/Play Rough
If there's one lesson we learned early on in The Arena, it's that if you allow Azumarill into a meta, it will find a way to become relevant. And lo and behold, here is yet another example. Not even Swalot, Emolga, or Zapdos can safely overcome Azu! And that's on top of all the Fighters, Psychics, Flyers, Mud Boys and fellow Fairies that Azu can strike down. Azumarill is a strong contender here, as it has basically always been in these metas.
JELLICENT
Hex Surf &/or Shadow Ball &/or Ice Beam
I think I can pretty definitively recommend Hex as the fast move, but after that? Time for a classic side-by-side. My default recommendation is Surf/Shadow Ball, which can get to meaningful wins like Whiscash, Drifblim, and the mirror, but also valid are Surf/Ice Beam and even Beam/Ball work. Ice Beam is basically required to beat Whimsicott, Tropius, Jumpluff, and Dragalge, but can usually do it alongside Ball or Surf. Beam/Ball can beat most of what Surf/Ball and Surf/Beam can except Clefable, Florges, and Slurpuff. I think the basic question is thus: do you need extra coverage versus Grasses and Dragons? If so: Ice Beam. If not? Probably just stick with Surf/Shadow Ball. But there's no "wrong" answer, really. Good luck!
ARAQUANID
Bug Bite Bubble Beam & Mirror Coat/Bug Buzz
Gotta be that Bug Buzz is the closer to go with, right? Well, yes... but also perhaps no. It's true that only the raw power of Bug Buzz can overcome things like Seaking, Fairy Wind Whimsicott, and Clefable, but as bad a move as Mirror Coat is, it's ALSO true that 'Nid can overcome all the format's Poison types (and win the mirror match) only with Mirror Coat, not Buzz. Do with that information what you will, but I like when I get to highlight secret tech like that.
QUAGSIRE
Mud Shot Stone Edge & Mud Bomb/Earthquake
I still don't think it's quite right to call new Quag toy Mud Bomb a straight upgrade, as there are good things like Earthquake can still do that Bomb can't, like overpowering Azumarill and Swampert. But yes, Mud Bomb is probably the de facto standard now, getting its own nice wins versus things like Seaking, Rainy Castform, Tapu Fini, and Wigglytuff. Lord Quag is certainly more interesting than it was in May, particularly Shadow Quag which can do all of that PLUS also beat all versions of Jellicent, Hypno, and Togekiss, and Azumarill slides back into the win column too!
DRAGALGE
Dragon Tail Aqua Tail & Gunk Shot/Outrage
Good enough place as any to slide over to the relevant Poison types, since Dragalge masquerades as a Water type with Aqua Tail. But which way to go for the closer? Well, I'll start by saying that either one nets wins versus Araquanid (without Mirror Coat!), Tropius, and Jumpluff. After that, the slightly better record lies with Outrage that can beat Jellicent and Castform with high neutral damage, but I think I STILL lean towards Gunk Shot for its own unique win versus Azumarill and its high pressure versus enemy Fairies, Grasses, and others in the meta. In this case, I'd just keep it simple.
GARBODOR
Infestation Gunk Shot & Body Slam/Seed Bomb
With a face only a mother could love, here comes the only meta that can also tolerate Garbo. It's still not quite on the same tier as Dragalge and Swalot, but yes, Garbo is legit viable in Innocent Cup. Body Slam is my recommendation for spam alongside the required Gunk Shot, as Slam overwhelms stuff like Wobbuffet and Araquanid. But there is some potential spice here as well if you instead run with Seed Bomb, as you can then beat (Sludge Wave) Swampert and surprise the heck out of Ground and Water types in general.
ARBOK
Acid Dark Pulse & Acid Spray
And even a small step below Garbodor (there is a sentence is never thought I would write!), we have Arbok withAcid, and NOT the Dragon Tail you might expect instead. While it's true that Tail can beat other Dragons and/or Poisons (Dragalge, Zweilous, and Swalot specifically), it's very poor otherwise. Acid is a bad move, but it does manage to dissolve (see what I did there? I so funny hee hee haha) every non-Psychic Fairy and Grass type in the meta besides Tapu Fini, which is obviously a big deal in this meta.
HYPNO
Confusion Shadow Ball & Thunder Punch/Ice Punch
Usually an analysis on Hypno means a long debate between competing (and all viable) movesets. Now there ARE several that work outside of my recommendation of Shadow Ball/Thunder Punch, but I am ready to label that the odds on favorite. It just brings the most overall pressure in this meta, especially to the many Water and Flying types (beating Azumarill as one specific example), at the very small cost of being non-ideal versus Grasses... though Hypno doesn't beat Jumpluff or Tropius with Fire OR Ice anyway, so in my mind, no harm, no foul. At least, that's the way I'd go for non-Shadow. For Shadow Hypno, Ice Punch now comes with the power to freeze and shatter Jumpluff and Tropius, as well as Gliscor and Swampert, and still manages to knock out Azumarill too. Best of all worlds!
FARIGAMARIF
Confusion/Tackle Psychic Fangs & Thunderbolt
Bittersweet moment here, as it's my last time getting to talk about ol' Geeriffa— um, Giffimar— uh, Jeffomafig? Oh, fine... Girafarig. Yes, I HAVE known how to spell it all these years. 😅 My boy has only gotten better since recieving Psychic Fangs, to the point that it's viable in TWO configurations in this meta: [Tackle]() to overcome fellow Psychics (the type, NOT the move... two long-running jokes in one section! 💪) like Hypno, or Confusion which overpowers Whimsicott, Drifblim, Castform, and Clefable and is, honestly, just the better fast move in general. And don't forget Shadow Farigamiraf, which does give up Swampert, Jumpluff, Gliscor, and Charm Whimsie, but gains Surf/Shadow Ball Jellicent (already beats other Jelli variants), Seaking, Tapu Fini, Whiscash, and Togetic... and now beats Hypno without needing Tackle! One last toast to everyone's favorite funky Girafamathingy! It's been real, buddy. Glad you get to go out in style. 🦒
SLOWBRO/SLOWKING
Confusion/Water Gun Surfᴸ & Ice Beam/Psychic
Slowbro gets the slight nod because I like Confusion/Surf/Ice Beam the best personally (with standout wins versus Jumpluff, Tropius, and Florges), but if you want to instead run Water Gun/Surf/Psychic (the move!), then Slowking or Slowbro work equally well. The unique wins there are basically other Psychic types like DDeoxys and Wobbuffet. Either way, the Super Slow Bros are pretty nifty here! Similar BRUXISH not quite so much though.
CLAYDOL
Confusion Rock Tomb & Ice Beam/Shadow Ball
Not a strong recommendation, but Claydol does just enough here to be interesting (and that should make the Niantic employee that keeps adding moves to it every couple seasons very happy). With Ice Beam it beats Jumpluff, but beyond that you really want Shadow Ball, I think, which can instead beat Seaking and gives Claydol unique coverage versus Psychics, Flyers, AND Poisons, among others.
MEDICHAM
Counter Ice Punch & Psychic
Speaking of doing just enough to be interesting, this is one of those rare-ish metas where Medicham is merely okay. It does manage to hold down the Poisons as a good Psychic type should, but beyond that it doesn't really know what it wants to be in this meta, settling for picking off some big names but whiffing on plenty of others. I don't feel great about it myself, but be ready for it to show up in your opponent's six at some point, especially after it absolutely rocked the first Play Pokémon tournaments of the new GBL season.
HONCHKROW
Snarl Sky Attack & Brave Bird
One final chance to put in a good word for Honch (and end a 50k section with some spice... sniff 😢), one of the ultimate boom or bust options in PvP. Really not much to say than that... just reminding you that it and its Shadow version remain out there, lurking, daring you to take a shot with it. High risk, but potentially sky high reward in this final Silph month, folks!

75,000 Dust/75 Candy

TROPIUS
Razor Leaf Aerial Ace & Leaf Blade
I feel I am contractually obligated to start this section with ol' Banana Chin, specifically to point out a rare disagreement with my good friend Mr. PvPoke, who lists Air Slash as the fast move of choice. Respectfully, I disagree... it is Razor Leaf you want here. Not only does it still manage to beat everything Air Slash can that you most care about, and not only does it shred even scary Water types like Seaking and Jellicent, but it's also THE way for Trop to beat Florges and Electric types like Alolan Raichu and Dedenne. If you want more charge move pressure and such, go with Jumpluff. If you want to just beat stuff down almost regardless of remaining shields, Razor Leaf Tropius is your friend.
GLISCOR
Wing Attack Night Slash & Earthquake
Regular and Shadow both have plenty of merit. Non-Shadow has the bulk to outlast Clefable, Florges, Whimsicott, Zweilous, Medicham, Emolga, and Swampert, while Shadow instead has the raw power to overcome Jellicent, Tropius, Zapdos, Whiscash (before it can get to Blizzard), and non-Ice Punch Hypno.
GLIGAR
Wing Attack Night Slash & Returnᴾ
Honestly, though... purified Gligar is just better than Gliscor. Return is a big equalizing beatstick that allows Gligar to beat everything Gliscor can (regular and Shadow Gliscor combined, that is) except Jellicent, Whiscash, and Swalot, and further add on wins against Dragalge, Togekiss, and Gliscor itself! I think Gligar is a big time sleeper in Innocent Cup.
DRIFBLIM
Hex Icy Wind & Shadow Ball
It just got Mystical Fire, but at least in this meta, I think Blim wants to stick with Icy Wind, which does everything Fire can do plus can beat Flyers like Gliscor and Togetic. And just this once, I even give Shadow Blim a thumbs up. It drops Dedenne, but gains Tapu Fini, Rainy Castform, and stuff like Slurpuff too. Nice!
RAINY CASTFORM
Water Gun Weather Ball (Water) & Thunder
No Lanturn, no problem? Lanturn would indeed be perhaps a bit OP here, but Rainy is juuuuuuust right. Washes away Swalot and Garbo and even resists-all-its-moves Dragalge, Clefable and Togetic and Wigglytuff, and of course a ton of Waters (Jelli, Azu, Fini, Seaking) thanks to Thunder (and Swampert thanks to Weather Ball spam). Someone is definitely going to do well with it this month.
SYLVEON
Qucik Attack Psyshockᴸ & Moonblast
I mean, you CAN run Sylvie with Charm, but what makes it unique is Quick Attack. That plus Psyshock makes it the Fairy that handles the Poisons, while still doing most of the standard Fairy job (handling Dragons and Fighters and Bugs) and beating most of its fellow Fairies (and Jumpluff!) as well. It is very quietly a great Fairy in this meta.
ZWEILOUS
Dragon Breath Body Slam & Dark Pulse
Yes yes, it MUST avoid double super effective Fairy damage. And that leaves it with a less than inspiring record against the core meta. But take those away, and it has little to worry about beyond the few Bugs and Fighters in the meta. It beats the other Dragons you're going to see, and obviously dominates Psychic and Ghost types. And being a Dragon means resisting Water and Electric and Grass damage and beating many of those types too. It's far better (and sure to be far more popular) than the simple numbers would indicate.
DRAGONAIR
Dragon Breath Body Slam & Aqua Tail
Similar story here. The numbers are so-so, for similar reasons as Zweilous, but Dragonair puts out a lot of very spammy neutral damage. And unlike Zweilous, it can handle Seaking, Whiscash, DDeoxys and others.
I'll point out that Shadow DRAGONITE is pretty spicy too, though far less safe. It's more of a blunt object to the scalpel of Dragonair and Zweilous.

100,000 Dust/75 Candy

Running out of space (and already WAY out of time), so gonna blow through these briefly....

• ZAPDOS is the most interesting Legendary here, even with Emolga now really nipping at its heels. Emolga can overcome Whimsicott, Medicham, and Swalot, but it's still advantage Zapdos with wins versus Seaking, Jelli, Swampert, Gliscor, and Emolga itself. Zappie is still worth it, folks.
  
• It's no Azumarill, but yes, TAPU FINI still puts in some work. While Azu can outlast things like Emolga, Zapdos, Swampert, Gliscor, Florges, Wobb, and DDeoxys, it is Fini that alone can beat Jellicent, Dragalge, Araquanid, and Dedenne. There really IS a good case for both. If you're feeling particularly frisky, maybe literally both on the same team?
  
• Honorable mentions for GUZZLORD (which, unlike Zweilous, at least carries Sludge Bomb to somewhat threaten Fairies), LATIOS (just a Dragon that can wallop Poisons and other things with Luster Purge), DEFENSE DEOXYS (not particularly awesome here, but always a decent filler), and strangely-popular-so-far (according to Cup stats to date) CELEBI.
  

FEELIN' LUCKY?

For those unfamilar, this final section wraps up with stuff that needs to be pushed far into XL Candy territory. It CAN be great, but we're way past any semblance of "thrifty" at this point. Let's bring this one home!

• Staraptor isn't so hot here (partly because there's just not much for Close Combat to do), but STARAVIA has got the sauce, right up there with the surprising Swellow. The downside, of course, is having to max out Staravia just to get to 1468 CP. Worth it? Well that's YOUR call, my friend!
  
• So this one is cheating a bit, because RUFFLET is actually more than viable JUST beyond Level 40, if you max out a hundo at Level 40.5, hitting 1500 CP right on the nose. And it actually performs better in ways than the recommended heavy XL investment variety, having a better shot at beating Hypno and Swalot (while #1 IVs instead takes down only Dragalge and Togekiss instead). Wing Attack/Brave Bird** can't even be held down by the mediocre Aerial Ace. Rufflet is yet another strong bird candidate. If it didn't make sense why Noctowl and Pidgeot were banned yet, this should finally make that case.
  
• VULLABY kinda works too (and is one I KNOW folks have already invested in), obviously with distinct advantages versus Psychics and Ghosts in particular, and it beats plenty else besides. The big risk, of course, is a weakness to Fairy that other birds in this meta don't really have to worry about (at least not in terms of taking super effective damage). While the Flying Normals are more all-arounders, Vullaby is more of a specialist here.
  
• One of my favorite memories from early in my PvP analysis "career" was basically being bullied into writing an expansive analysis on LEDIAN by some Pokémon GO friends on Discord, and then being teased by many members of the early PvP community about it. This was in the days before XL Candy, so Ledian topped out at like 1350 CP then, making it a particuarly nutty venture. But hey, it CAN get to 1500 CP these days, though it's still mere spice and nowhere near meta. But if you took the plunge way back when... hey, this is the last month, right? YOLO!
  
• Mentioned a few times throughout this article, WOBBUFFET is honestly just alright, suffering from some of the same issues as DDeoxys... bulk and Counter alone don't get you so far in this particular meta. Not like they usually do! Wobb works, but this is not the time to build on from scratch, IMO. Smoke 'em if you already got 'em, sure.
  

And before I ramble on any further... that’s a wrap! Thanks for hanging with me to the end... of this article, of course, but also for the many of you that have followed and supported me for four and a half years now. I appreciate and love you all. 💙
Before I go, one final extension of my thanks to my PvP friends, local and around the world, who have lent their own ideas and suggestions over the years and helped teach me to be a better player and student of the game. There are too many to list them all, but a few specific shout-outs to PvPoke, GO Battle Log, PvPIVs.com, PokeMiners, my old friends at GO Stadium for mutally getting each other off the ground in the pre-GBL days, and of course, one final time, to the good folks at The Silph Arena and The Silph Road. Krydos, Drock, Zooeys, the old Meta Team, Steeeeeeeeeeve, Myugenlol, and Dronpes for really launching this multi-year adventure by reaching out to me in the first place, back in simpler times. And to those I ran out of time/brain capacity to mention... you know who you are. Thank you for being here along that journey and walking parts of that (Silph) road with me. And once more, my thanks to all of you, dear readers, for your own encouragement, support, and patience with me over the years.
Okay, I said I wouldn't get sappy again, and specifically that I would NOT use this song, but I think I kind of have to as a musical outro. So with apologies to Ol' Blue Eyes... well, I always HAVE done these reviews... my way.
🎼 And now, the end is near
♫ And so we face the final curtain.
♪ My friends, I'll say it clear:
♬ I stated my case, of which I'm certain!
♫ And more, much more than this
♩ I wrote it myyyyyyy way!
I hope you've enjoyed these analysis articles over the years as much as I've enjoyed preparing and sharing them with you!
All the best, my friends. I hope you have as many happy Silph Arena memories to hold on to as I do. To whatever comes next! Take care, Pokéfriends.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile, because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.

Id be playing all day while streaming, I play games like Valorant, Modded Minecraft, Roblox and other games. Id do some light editing just for school and stuff.

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

My max is around 360$(20kPhp) its okay if the build you recommended to me is a little over, just not too much.

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

Probably next week.

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)

I only need a a case

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

Philippines Cebu

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

A logitech mouse a Royal kludge keyboard and any headphones.

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

I dont know anything about overclocking but since im only be using a cpu with integrated graphics, probably I guess.

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

A Ryzen 5 5600g is what i want in my build.

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

Nope, but a Black theme color would be nice

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?

No
Could you guys also recommend me some fans not included in my budget btw. Just some good cheap fans and a stock cooler :).

Most ppl here are probably aware that Stanley Kubrick shot his last three movies with an open matte, resulting in a square-like aspect ratio that could be shown on 4:3 televisions without excessive cropping or scanning. I remember reading about this when I was a kid, but despite knowing that the director composed these films primarily for widescreen, and intended them to be shown in wider aspect ratios whenever possible, I have always gravitated toward the open matte versions of The Shining and Full Metal Jacket over the years. All the US versions of Eyes Wide Shut with no matte had the fig leaves over the orgy scenes, so I always watched that one in wide, but I still felt like I was missing out by watching it matted. Those square frames are Kubrick compositions too, after all.
Well I'm here to tell you that this was a big mistake. Particularly in the case of The Shining. I've been watching the square version of The Shining for like 20 years, and it's a movie I return to a lot. I recently saw a yt video that used a clip from the widescreen version though, and it felt so unusual, I immediately found a version with the (US) theatrical dimensions and watched it. I was floored. I'm not going to say it's a totally different movie because it's not, but the difference is striking. Nicholson's long, deranged monologues and interactions with the ghostly characters in the hotel are so much more claustrophobic and intimate when his head fills the frame. It's more intimidating, like he's looking right through you, and his bizarre facial expressions and ticks don't get lost in the negative head room. The tighter visual proximity to the characters and spaces heightens that sense of inescapability and encroachment just enough to take it from unsettling to hair-raising, imo.
The same is broadly true for Full Metal Jacket. I think it has the best open matte compositions out of those final three movies, but the wide presentation centers the characters' emotions better.
The notion that Kubrick intended Eyes Wide Shut to be shown in its open matte dimensions has been floating around forever, but I'm not sure it's ever been confirmed. We know less about the director's intentions because he died so soon after making the movie, but my suspicion is that his exhibition plans were not very different from his last two releases. I guess the 12 year gap between productions could account for some new approach, but I'm dubious. EWS is one of my all time favorite films, but its open matte compositions are my least favorite out of all of them. Way too much head space.
Of course there's no definitively "correct" way to view these movies, and some people have even more nuanced opinions about which widescreen presentations are better, like 1.85 vs 1.66, but what are your thoughts? Preferences? Has anyone else had significantly different experiences with one version over the other, like I had with The Shining?

Most ppl here are probably aware that Stanley Kubrick shot his last three movies with an open matte, resulting in a square-like aspect ratio that could be shown on 4:3 televisions without excessive cropping or scanning. I remember reading about this when I was a kid, but despite knowing that the director composed these films primarily for widescreen, and intended them to be shown in wider aspect ratios whenever possible, I have always gravitated toward the open matte versions of The Shining and Full Metal Jacket over the years. All the US versions of Eyes Wide Shut with no matte had the fig leaves over the orgy scenes, so I always watched that one in wide, but I still felt like I was missing out by watching it matted. Those square frames are Kubrick compositions too, after all.
Well I'm here to tell you that this was a big mistake. Particularly in the case of The Shining. I've been watching the square version of The Shining for like 20 years, and it's a movie I return to a lot. I recently saw a yt video that used a clip from the widescreen version though, and it felt so unusual, I immediately found a version with the (US) theatrical dimensions and watched it. I was floored. I'm not going to say it's a totally different movie because it's not, but the difference is striking. Nicholson's long, deranged monologues and interactions with the ghostly characters in the hotel are so much more claustrophobic and intimate when his head fills the frame. It's more intimidating, like he's looking right through you, and his bizarre facial expressions and ticks don't get lost in the negative head room. The tighter visual proximity to the characters and spaces heightens that sense of inescapability and encroachment just enough to take it from unsettling to hair-raising, imo.
The same is broadly true for Full Metal Jacket. I think it has the best open matte compositions out of those final three movies, but the wide presentation centers the characters' emotions better.
The notion that Kubrick intended Eyes Wide Shut to be shown in its open matte dimensions has been floating around forever, but I'm not sure it's ever been confirmed. We know less about the director's intentions because he died so soon after making the movie, but my suspicion is that his exhibition plans were not very different from his last two releases. I guess the 12 year gap between productions could account for some new approach, but I'm dubious. EWS is one of my all time favorite films, but its open matte compositions are my least favorite out of all of them. Way too much head space.
Of course there's no definitively "correct" way to view these movies, and some people have even more nuanced opinions about which widescreen presentations are better, like 1.85 vs 1.66, but what are your thoughts? Preferences? Has anyone else had significantly different experiences with one version over the other, like I had with The Shining?

Beginning Chit Chat - Lala is loving the RHONJ reunion and says Margaret and Melissa have no control on what the show is going to focus on as far as a storyline - Lala loves Lisa Rinna and if you don’t like her, Lala doesn’t know if she can really fuck with you
Reunion - Lala said it was strange to hear Lisa telling her to stop when Sandoval was calling Lala a narcissist. - Lala said granted she was calling Sandoval a narcissist and understood he had to fight back - However Lala again said there is a difference between narcissism and ego - Lala said that Sandoval wants to keep bringing up her past and everyone else’s past but it is his past and present that is still aligning, still existing - Talked about how again we will not see one tear from Raquel when she is with the group - Lala said she is going to backtrack on her saying Raquel is broken and say she is scary - Lala loved Andy’s face when he was interviewing Raquel
IUD Comment - When they were filming the reunion, Lala did not hear Sandoval’s comment about her pulling her IUD out the second she found out Stassi was pregnant - Lala said when she watched that, her heart fell into her stomach and she sobbed - She posted a Instagram story talking about the comment and then afterwards sobbed - Lala said it wasn’t because it was Sandoval who said it, it could have been anyone who spoke about her daughter and she would get upset - Lala said Sandoval’s comment had nothing to do with anything and he was just trying to throw anything at the wall like Ariana said he would - She’s so thankful she didn’t hear him in the moment because, “that would have been a full on spiral and then they would definitely had security get involved.” - Lala said she isn’t a violent person but moms know when someone says something nasty about your child, you want to rip that persons eyes out - Lala did know that Brittany was trying to get pregnant, Stassi was pregnant, and Scheana was trying and this was around the time (OP here, trigger warning: mentions pregnancy loss) Scheana had a miscarriage. Lala knew she wanted her child to have friends - Lala’s mom also planned her pregnancies around her friends that were having babies
Part 3 of the reunion - When this episode was recorded, Lala still hadn’t been sent part 3 - They usually get the episodes the Friday before Wednesday’s episodes - Lala heard they weren’t going to get it at all and would have to watch it tonight (OP here, however if you saw James Instagram story, it looks like he watched it last night) - Lala said that there is a comment that Sandoval makes tonight that will show who this person really is and Lala thinks he is going to need security for a while and Lala knows it will air - Lala said she knows it will air because when Scheana and Lala went to the For you consideration, NBCU Emmy event, they showed 6 or 9 minutes of the final reunion and they were like we saw the clip of Sandoval saying this and they were like I’m disgusted - Lala said it’s funny how Sandoval can pretend to cry and act like he was acting at the reunion and then deliver a line like that
Raquel and pageants - Lala said you put, “Raquel in a pageant and for many years the competition had to deal with who’s prettier, who looks better in a bathing suit, who looks better in a gown, and it’s the most unhealthy competition you could possibly place your daughter in.” - Lala is shocked that pageants are still around - Raquel has been in competition mode with women in an unhealthy way since she was a child
Raquel - Lala said Raquel is very into appearance. The night in Vegas, Raquel got so wasted, and then the next day she walks in with a full face of make up - Lala said when they left Vegas and went to Havasu, they went to a diner and this is where Raquel is claiming that everyone was so mean to her but Lala said that Raquel was in the bathroom that whole time throwing up. - They kept asking if she was okay and they ordered her food and a soda. They put her in a booth behind them, not to exile her, but so she could lie down - Lala thinks that Raquel will return for season 11 and the only way she wouldn’t return is if her parents kept her in a bunker - Lala said, “I have heard that communication has been happening. I don’t know if it’s between this side of things and her team, direct, but I’ve heard that communication is open, it’s alive and well and happening.”
WWHL - She is nervous for WWHL because part 3 will be very fresh to her and she won’t have time to re watch it and process it
Ariana - Lala wanted to clarify that on last weeks episode she was talking about Ariana and her thriving now and that when her and Sandoval were together, Ariana became background noise - Lala said that was not a insult to Ariana - What she was saying was when you deal with someone like Sandoval, they are exhausting so you become background noise, you fade into the distance because you just cannot - She said even Schwartz is background noise against Sandoval because you just can’t go up against someone like that because you are just tired - Lala text Ariana after last weeks episode and said, “I just want to tell you, I fucking hate your ex. Im so glad that your out here being the star that you fucking always been because he stifled your fire.”

I’m 18+ and all characters and participants must be 18+
Even backstage, the roaring sound of the audience is almost deafening. With the shouting and jeering, it's hard not to feel the adrenaline pumping through my body while i await the fate of the contestant ahead of you. Collectively, they start counting down the clock, the dramatic music rising in intensity as they approach the end of the clock. In a dramatic twist, however, the clock stops, the crowd starting to boo and jeer loudly, clearly disappointed. She failed. A production assistant walks up to me, adding a bit of final make-up. She smiles, almost reassuringly. "You're up after the break. Just relax, don't let the audience intimidate you, just do your best."
As the crowd settles down, the commercial break currently airing, i see the previous contestant walk down the corridor. She's naked, her face and body covered in cum, shivering, make-up running down her cheeks. I met her briefly in the green room, earlier. Ashley, 21 years old, running the gauntlet to pay off her student debt. She had a pretty face, long straight copper hair brushing her shoulders, wider hips and a bigger rack than you imagined when the two of you shook hands earlier. Now, you see she avoids you entirely, still sobbing, while she's ushered away to another room. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but seeing her in that state made you even more nervous. With a deep sigh, i look up at the countdown clock, while the assistant counts down with it.
3,2,1. Go.
Down the catwalk i go, lights flashing in my face, while i hear the "Next Contestant!" announcement ring through the studio. A busty woman in a suit is standing center stage, inviting me to stand next to her, while the audience claps politely upon my entry. The music ends, the lights focused on me and the presenter of this wicked show. She smiles, before turning to camera 4. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Gauntlet. Ashley didn't make the cut, but don't worry, we've got a fresh contestant lined up for you." She turns towards me. points towards camera 3. "Please, tell the audience who you are and why you're running the Gauntlet today?"
---
Thanks for reading this far! Reality TV is taking on a new frontier, with girls doing depraved things for money. It might be an attempt to pay off their student debt, save up to purchase a house or just responding to a deep rooted desire to be used. Running the gauntlet seems easy; it can be quite lighthearted and quirky if you want, or dark if that's what you prefer. The idea of the gauntlet is that my character will be pushed to her limits.
Kinks: cum, cum eating, cum food, cum play,bukkake,cream pie,bdsm, bondage, forced, body writing, spanking, cuddling, degradation, rough partners, sizeplay, dominant partners, toys, multiple partners, spit roasting, mating press, full Nelson,frenching,rimming,body oil,bestiality,water sports,wax play,sex machines,being filmed,cosplay,NTR,petplay,exhibitionism,biting and pretty much anything that isn’t my limits
Limits:
Scat,gore,vore,hyper sizes,necro and vomit
If that's of interest to you, please get in touch at Demondork on Kik and come with any questions you have, clarifications you need and ideas you'd like to share. Just please do more than just tell me you're interested. Don't worry about responding slowly/late, I still want to hear from you. Finally, please no chat requests, I will simply ignore them.

Heavy weapons do not feel powerful anymore. Especially swords and shotguns. Glaives worst of all. Had a great time with strand but honestly, without previous destinations to full explore (looking at cosmodrome and the helmouth) most of my friends have not come back since last year's glaive nerf. literally one lfg raid some Sherpa said: nobody wanted free primary amno, they wanted to spend all their money shooting rockets from a frigid glaive. I get it though, heavy amno used to be important because it was the best amno type. Now since they are the only weapons that need amno they are the least helpful of powerful. These weapons are way out of balance.

This tier list is based on my opinion only
Lapras:
Max hp decreased
Unite move duration decreased by 0.5 seconds
Unite move charge duration inceased
Yeah lapras has so much mobility with her unite and can carry a teammate so this would probably tune her down a bit, she also is a bit too tanky espcially she has lifesteal from her boosted attack and reduced damage when exceeding a scepific health percentage
Zacian:
Sacred sword damage and defense ignoration increase effect weakened
Attack decreased
Ability charge aeos energy requirement increased by 5 energy
Is there even a quetion? Hes is still broken, nerfing the move's damage and defense increase should make him less broken at bursting enemies cause rn he is more of a speedster than an all rounder
Urshifu:
Wicked blow movement speed reduction while charging reduced by 50%
Wicked blow now breifly stuns the enemy
Wicked blow cooldown increased by 1.5 second
Wicked blow damage slightly increased
Surging strikes lifesteal decrease
Health decreased
Urshifu has been very meta with his surging strikes move because of its chaining ability and its lifesteal, tunung it down should make him less meta, in reverse, his wicked blow move is really lacking, by making him faster and breifly stunning the enemy it should make this moveset better, its cooldown has been increased to balance it out, his health also has been slightly nerfed due to his stong early game
Umbreon:
Mean look cooldown increased by 1 second
Mean look lock radius increased
Mean look slow removed
Mean look can now be canceled by full heal
Foul play now ignores 10% defense
Foul play has umbreon gain a boosted attack every use
Upgrade now makes umbreon's next attack deal more damage
Mean look lasts too long and confines in a small circle, this move also slows the enemy as well, this will give the enemy a chance to escape because the slow is removed and its radius is increased, allowing more movement within the ring, foul play would be slightly better rn if its next attack will just be boosted
Absol:
Damage increased
Night slash damage increased
Lifesteal increased to 15%
Absol takes 25% less damage during pursuit and will be unstoppable during the dash
Pursuit's long basic attack can now be activated mid dash
Absol has fallen down a lot, especially with umbreon's mean look literally crippling absol. The damage and night slash damage should push him up a bit more, pursuit has always been the less used move, so giving him some defenses during the dash should make him survive more or use this as an advantage, attacking mid dash would also help him get more combo opportunities
Comment down more balance ideas ;)

My upcoming production of Chicago has some parts with the brass (2 trumpet, 2 bone) using derby mutes. Does anyone have experience micing such things in the "pit"?
The brass is currently planned to be mic'd with dynamics on stands. I have 4 spare channels and plenty of miniature condensers or other full size dynamics left in the mic kit still, so if required I can set up mics specifically for the mutes.
I've never seen a derby mute used in the wild. From watching vids, it seems that the intended sound is what escapes around the mute to the front. It looks to be a hard task to mic the front of it in a tight pit and get enough isolation to make it usable.
Any advice welcomed!

My upcoming production of Chicago has some parts with the brass (2 trumpet, 2 bone) using derby mutes. Does anyone have experience micing such things in the "pit"?
The brass is currently planned to be mic'd with dynamics on stands. I have 4 spare channels and plenty of miniature condensers or other full size dynamics left in the mic kit still, so if required I can set up mics specifically for the mutes.
I've never seen a derby mute used in the wild. From watching vids, it seems that the intended sound is what escapes around the mute to the front. It looks to be a hard task to mic the front of it in a tight pit and get enough isolation to make it usable.
Any advice welcomed!

Ok, convince me. I feel like I’m going crazy. Every sub I’m on is absolutely certain this film will be nominated a ton, even going so far as to predict it for acting wins come Oscar night.
Full disclosure, I’m excited about the film, and I think it’ll do well box office wise, but for the life of me I just can’t see it getting anything but below the line nominations. Golden Globes? Sure, I can see Margot and Ryan get noms, but nothing past that no matter how good it is.
It’s absolutely not in Oscar’s wheelhouse, but I’d like to hear your opinions. I’d love to be proven wrong, though - I love when the Academy breaks from tradition and goes for something different, but for this? I really can’t see it. I know it comes from Gerwig, who’s an Academy favorite, but still.

Hello you lovely sods, Jackal here.
Been feeling a bit down and noticed that all those who I consider friends moved onto life styles I am not hoping for myself (Think of the word Uggies but if it had a doctorate, Dr. Uggies) I am hopefully aiming to get a long term gaming friend for which we can play a wide range of games, vibe, have a laugh, share tiktoks and whatnot. I do consider myself friendly and open, despite being a bit socially stupid.
I will split up my games into frequently played (Games I currently play, or am more than happy to play tones of) and games I own (Not activaly playing due to lack of gamer pals, Badum tss, but am happy to reinstall and play)
Frequently play : Battlefield (all) Fortnite COD (MW/MW2/WAW GTA V Minecraft (Both) Dead Space 3 Sims 4 Dayz Escape from Tarkov Terraria Roblox BO3-Zombies No More Room In Hell Fallout (All)
Games I own : Dead Island (All) Escape the Backrooms Arma (All) Rimworld Red Dead Online Among us Dead Rising 3 + 4 Garry's Mod The Forest (Both) Hunt Showdown PubG Squad Scum Unturned TF2 Back For Blood Border Lands 3 Dying Light (All) Destiny 2
If you have any questions, do let me know. I do play more games but these are the ones I can list at the current moment.

My chest is so full with words that I don't even know how to describe it. I hate those little happy moments which give you hope of coming of a better life yet to be crushed by the vast and big ocean of bad feelings that always comes next which is the 90 % of life ifself. I have a Girlfriend, which is the very soul of my being, I love her with every Fieber of my body, she is very supportive and basically a way out of this suffering which I am facing every day. Problem is, we are Long Distance which means most of our time together is spent through voice and video calls. I met her a couple of times and those few days which I stayed with her, was my best days, in fact, I am writing this while sitting in Bus as I am returning from a one week staying and it's even more painful to write. But I can't close the distance yet and move in with her. I live with my parents and I have a job, I hate the people at my job and my interests are far different from what I am doing now, but where I live, it's not easy to change my job so i am stuck with it. Most of my happy time is spent either talking with my girlfriend, playing Violin or Video games which lets me escape the reality of my life. I hate it that whenever something happy is about to happen, I know that it will end and there will be sadness next, in fact this hurts to a point which those happy moments will also appear scary.
The distance is killing me and there are a lot of moments which I wish that I didn't exist at all, not wanting to suicide but just suddenly vanishing like I never Existed, the only reason I am still Struggling is my loved ones, my parents and my SO.

*What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
Mainly streaming dota, gta online, witcher 3
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
1000$
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
Max two weeks
What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc)
Tower only
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
Russia
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Noone
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
I don’t think so
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Just wanted future proof as much as possible
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
No preference
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
no
Extra info or particulars:

I have Stirling Coopers’s Sexual Dominance course at hand!
Stirling Cooper - Sexual Dominance Escalation course comes with full updates and complete modules.
You may learn everything you need to know about how to escalate sexual activity with your girlfriend in the Stirling Cooper - Sexual Dominance Escalation course.
Stirling Cooper, a prominent figure in the adult film industry, is the instructor.
Stirling Cooper's Sexual Dominance Escalation course will teach you exclusive information that is not available anyplace else. This program will teach you valuable lessons that will change the way you view life forever.
If anyone is interested in purchasing these courses from me, please leave a comment below with the word "interested" or send me a direct message.

Chapter One
Chapter Seventeen
Martinez slouched his way into the kitchen. He wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings; in his defense it was early in the morning and he’d failed at getting some appropriate shut-eye before he went and, you know, bared his entire soul to Chao. At least that was his plan. But as usual, the universe laughs at plans.
He placed a sealed plastic package into the coffee machine, then put a styrofoam cup in the appropriate location. He yawned as the machine began its burbling.
“Hey.”
Martinez snapped his head over at McCoy, who’d suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She leaned against the counter, with a big and very evil grin on her face.
“Um…” began Martinez, before he was interrupted by a voice from his other side.
“Hey.” Matt leaned there, and if McCoy looked evil then Matt looked positively diabolical. Martinez glanced behind him and saw more soldiers, all with looks of ill intent on their faces.
The corporal didn’t waste time in asking what the hell they were up to, he just started throwing hands and feet. Future scholars would count the resulting battle as one for the ages; Martinez even managed to tag Toke with a couple of pretty good punches and one really sweet roundhouse kick.
But in the end, it was still a case of one against many.
__________
“Mmmm mm mmm m mmm!” protested Martinez.
Chao sighed as she beheld his bruised and very taped-up state. “What did those idiots do to you?”
“Mm MMM mmm mm!” The corporal’s mouth was now duct-taped shut, so verbal acuity was not amongst his strong suits at the present.
She put her hands on her hips. “For crying out loud. Matt goes and gets me all worried that you’re somehow in trouble, he leads me over to some random closet and shoves me in here and I find you like this. What’s the game?”
“Gmmmm?”
Chao squatted, examining his bonds. “Well, they sure got you trussed up like a roast for the feast. Hey, if you want me to pull the tape off of your mouth just nod.”
After a moment, Martinez nodded. She reached for the tape covering his mouth, then hesitated. “Um. I don’t have much experience with this so I’ll leave it up to you. Is it better to go fast or slow? Blink once for fast, two for slow.”
With deliberation, Martinez blinked once. Chao nodded and yanked the tape off. They’d even left a convenient tab for her to grab ahold of.
“FUCKING OW!” yelled the corporal. “Um, sorry.”
Chao seated herself before his figure, which was tied up in a fetal position. “You know, the last few weeks have given me a bit of a crash-course on the types of grab-ass shenanigans you soldier types get up to. This is a new one, though. Care to educate me?”
Martinez stared at her in horrified disbelief. “Toke didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what? He just said you were in trouble and that I needed to help out.”
“That…that evil, evil son of a bitch. He said he’d explain everything!”
“Explain what? Luca, I am just about ready to walk out and leave you in here to eventually soil yourself.”
Now that he was literally hog-tied and unable to escape, Martinez realized he had to ‘fess up. “I like you,” he said in an almost-gasp. “I mean, I like you like you. In that way. I mean, I know it’s sudden. We’ve only known each other for maybe four weeks but you’re so smart and pretty and…and, you know about Asimov and Heinlein and Clarke and about orbital mechanics and star spectra.”
She sat in stunned silence while he continued. “I don’t bring much to the table, I get that. But I want to learn. After we come back from the Rithro’s repair mission, I want to go to college…I’ve started looking into that. I’m not much of a catch right now, but maybe one day you’d consider liking me that way as well…”
He was interrupted as she leaned down, grabbed his head, and planted a firm kiss upon his lips. After a moment of pure bliss for both of them, she pulled away. “You utter and complete idiot,” she said, but she said it with a smile. “Did you never think that perhaps you have some attractive qualities of your own?”
Martinez tried to shrug as best he could, being all tied up. “I mean, Toke did mention that I have some pretty nice abs?”
Chao’s eyes glinted in good humor. “Pretty nice? You’ve got an eight-pack. I could shred cheese on those bad boys.”
He looked up at her. “Wait. When did you see my abs?”
“Back when we were sequestered within Cheyenne Mountain, and we were strictly on sponge baths.” She patted his taut stomach, feeling up those aforementioned abs. “Anyways, do you want me to get you out of these bonds?”
“Um…”
Her good humor turned into a diabolical grin. “Or, would you like to remain in these bonds? Toke said something about a safe-word and safe-gesture, he said you’d explain it.”
“Of course he did. That fucker. Um. Chao, this has gone better than I could ever have imagined but I don’t think you need to know…”
“Know about what?” Her caressing of his unprotected stomach did not cease. “Does my corporal have a bit of a fetish?”
His brain seized up again at her emphasis on ‘my’. “I…”
“Let me put it this way. Would you like me to be all mean and nasty, or more cuddly and dommy mommy?”
After a long, long moment of silence he finally murmured, “Dommy mommy.”
“See? That wasn’t so hard. Well, admitting it wasn’t hard.” Her hand continued its explorations. “Now this here is indeed quite hard. Hmm. Good thing you are just too cute for words.”
“Cute?” He looked in disbelief at her, and then flinched at her continued caressing.
“One can be a badass and also cute, my dear corporal. You tick both boxes. Not to mention you’re into a fetish which I’ve wanted to indulge in for a while. Never found anyone who was into it, until now.”
Outside the closet, McCoy stood guard. She smiled in triumph as she heard Martinez yell out in pleasure, and turned to give Toke a thumbs-up.
“It’s about fuckin’ time,” she said.
Matt smiled back at her. He now sported an epic shiner under one eye. “Eh, some kids just need a bit of a nudge, you know?”
__________
It was…it was a wall. A wall he was looking at.
A wall covered in white stucco. Nothing too fancy, but it was indeed a wall and Joachim realized he was looking at it. That might seem like a substandard feat, but for a man who’d been in Joachim’s proverbial shoes it was a grand accomplishment.
His mouth worked as he swished his tongue around in his mouth. He looked around. He sat in a lawn chair in the middle of a beige room, lined on every wall with the stucco he’d just realized he was looking at. “H…hello?”
His voice felt old and clotted. Joachim looked down at his hand, and he saw wrinkled skin and age spots that he didn’t remember seeing there before.
This room only had one exit door, and now it opened. A lean man with dark skin entered. “Joachim Neimyer? I’m Zawahir Ibn Harith. How are you feeling, sir?”
Joachim fixed the newcomer with a steady eye. “I’ll be feeling better once I know where I am. And where is Corina?”
“Corina is on her way, she should be here within minutes. We had great hopes that your treatment was progressing well. Do you know what day it is, sir?”
“Of course I know what day it is! It’s…” Joachim trailed off as he realized that he didn’t know. The last few…years? Decades? He had glimpses of moments in time, as if viewed via a strobe-light. He now realized it was much, much later in time than he thought. “I…what happened?”
“Alzheimer’s, Mr. Neimeyer.” Zawahir’s eyes were kind. “You’ve been suffering from it for the last seven years. But we discovered…or, I should say, we adopted a methodology for treating it. It not only stops the damage, it has a way of reversing at least some of its effects. I fear you will never regain the memories from the time during which you suffered the most, but from now on your mind should function properly once more.”
Joachim rubbed his now-bald pate. “Is Corina all right?”
Zawahir pulled over a chair next to him and seated himself. “She is, blessedly, un-marked by the same affliction. We are, of course, putting her on a similar treatment as yourself just to make sure she remains so. With her consent, of course.”
The old man fixed Zawahir with a direct stare. “This whole thing smells experimental. Why choose me?”
“Mmm, you are as sharp as ever, sir. This is indeed an experiment, and we chose you because you are one of the preeminent rocket experts who ever lived. We need such skills now.”
“What?”
Zawahir leaned forward. “I will do my best to catch you up…”
__________
She walked through the door, supported by a cane. The one person, the beacon in Joachim’s life. Corina lit up upon seeing his gaze. A gaze with intent, with purpose. “They said you were feeling better!”
Before he or the surrounding interns could react, Joachim now found himself with a hundred-ish pounds of enthusiastic elderly woman in his lap.
“Tell me something only you know,” she whispered.
Joachim smiled. “Do you remember what I told you when we saw the green flash? That one time, in Hawaii? During our honeymoon?”
“I do. You said that the flash was the souls of those who’ve gone before.”
“And I promised you that, if I passed before you, that you would just need to look for the flash to see me.”
She clasped his wrinkled face in her own equally-lined hands. “You did better than that. You came back to me.”
“I guess I did.” He kissed her, reveling in the fact that this time he’d remember it.
Zawahir motioned to everyone else in the room. They all quickly got the hint and left the pair to their mutual happiness.
__________
The door of the simulator cracked open and Kifa came scuttling out. She peered up at the normally stony face of Master Sergeant Wilkes; right now the latter looked like he’d just been kicked in the chest by a donkey and was still trying to process it. “How did I do?” asked the xyrax. “It seems like I did quite well.”
“Um…Kifa. Well. Um. Did the controls seem to operate right?”
“Oh, yes! Very much, quite intuitive! It’s been ages since I simulated combat within an atmosphere! That was fun!”
“Fun. You do realize that you were going up against aces. I mean real, human aces?”
“Oh. I thought that was the case.” Kifa peered back into the simulator. “Was I not supposed to know that?”
Wilkes finally laughed, something that was fortunately captured by several cameras and used as blackmail material for many years after. “You did fine. You also just utterly smoked several of the finest pilots on Earth, and that includes non-Americans.” He regarded her with a steady gaze. “I wish I could recruit you to TOPGUN, I’d love to see you show those strutting peacocks a thing or two.”
“What is TOPGUN?”
He sighed. “Right now, it’s in the same exact department as buggy-whip manufacturing. You just showed these punks that, even in atmosphere, you’re death from above.”
Kifa seemed to shrink into themselves. “I didn’t mean to…”
“Now, now, Kifa, this is a good thing. Gotta keep those aforementioned strutting peacocks on their toes. But soon we’ll be dealing with fighting using orbital mechanics, something with which our air-combat people have about as much actual experience as they do with chatting up the fairer sex.”
“Which fairer sex? I mean, my kind is hermaphroditic so I know the mechanics but…” Kifa trailed off as it blinked its four big, oil-drop eyes.
“You are too damned cute for your own good. Pick a sex, any one, I for one do not give a fuck anymore. Point being, we humans need a crash-course in how to fight in space. No atmo, so trying to maneuver using flaps and wings and things is right out. We need to understand how orbits work. Not just intellectually, but in our bones.” Wilkes patted the simulator. “We need you to teach us. We need you to teach an army. Well, navy. Technically. I guess it would count as a navy. Either way. You know how to do this shit, and you just proved that even in atmosphere you can run rings around our best and brightest. So. Are you willing to show us your voodoo?”
“My voodoo…” The blue-furred spider suddenly rose on all of its legs. “Of course! This will be used against the Breakers, yes?”
“Of course.”
“Then it will be my greatest pleasure to show you all of my voodoo!” Kifa paused. “Although, if I received a headpat or two it would also help me properly consider how best to teach you.”
Sergeant Wilkes sighed and reached down. Kifa purred in delight as the usually-taciturn sergeant unleashed the full might and power of Human Headpats upon the alien pilot.
__________
Sadaf watched as the two dark-haired women and one blonde-haired woman had a black-and-white cap fitted over their heads. Both had received a haircut for this day; Parvati for one seemed to be less than thrilled about losing some of her tresses.
“This is the snoopy-cap,” said the aide who stood between the two women. The surroundings were sterile and very, very white. “This cap contains your communications, and it will keep your hair in place during launch.” This was the actual process getting shown to the world. Behind them, Ravindar and Martinez were also in the process of getting suited up, but this was done with much less fanfare. The aide’s words carried to them all, of course.
“Arms up!” Everyone going into space today raised their arms, and a large tubby-looking upper suit then slid down over five figures. Many human hands made sure that their heads made it through the upper ring. “This is the upper part of your pressure suit,” said the aide. “The gloves and helmet will complete that part, but that will come later. Now I will need you all to step into your pants…”
Everyone did so; Chao was the one who didn’t quite make it look elegant. She grinned at Martinez as she fumbled for a bit getting her pressure-suit trousers on; his resulting blush was caught for the cameras but it wasn’t until a week later that someone realized what it meant.
“Latch!” The aide’s voice was hard as metal.
Many hands reached out, twisting multiple metal rings to lock the upper and lower halves of the four pressure suits into one cohesive piece.
“I still say we could make them some proper hardsuits,” said Sadaf to Takh. The two stood off to the side, not exactly part of the dance but not apart from it either.
“No, I think this is better,” said Takh. “We need to make this look more like a…human effort.” Her XO stood at parade-rest, with both sets of arms clasped behind his back.
Sadaf nodded. “I will default to your judgement. By the way…how are you and Corporal McCoy getting along?” She nodded towards the last-minute addition to the crew.
“Um…Ma’am, I…” His faltering was not helped by watching the humans in the clean-room getting clear helmets fixed over their heads. Each latching was followed-up by a tap on the shoulder and a thumbs-up.
The big human, Ravindar, waved his arms over his shoulders as he got the feel for the suit. He’d managed to get the helmet on without an issue, in spite of his substantial beard. “Need more air?” asked a much smaller woman at his side. He shook his head, while he continued to flex and get comfortable with how the suit restricted his motions.
Getting the Sikh to this moment had been a master-class in diplomacy. Not least of which was because he still carried a weapon upon his person. Sadaf had no experience with ‘Sikhism’, but she could appreciate any culture or creed which dictated the need to carry a protective weapon at all times. It appealed to her nature.
“Do you think Parvati knows that he’s, well, into her?” asked Takh.
His captain’s voice became damn near sultry. “Now Takh, and here I thought you were all clueless. I’ve heard of the effort these humans went through to get Chao and Luca together. Would you like me to ask them to perform a similar effort for you and Corporal McCoy? Hmmm? It would make for quite the photo-op, as the humans would say.”
Takh felt a bit of panic, somehow. “No!” His panicked reply was low, hopefully not picked up by the surrounding cameras. “I mean, she’s so small. I could hurt her…assuming she wants to be romantic, of course.”
“Romantic? Takh, I admit I am still learning about human body language but trust me…if you want that, she wants that.” She pondered the humans in the room still going through some last-minute checks of their pressure suits. “Let’s put it this way. If you don’t make a move, then I just might ask Dhuz if it’s okay to add a human to our harem when we get back.”
“What?”
“I have learned quite the delightful human phrase. It is, as they say, Time To Nut Up Or Shut Up. I do find McCoy really cute, after all. As do you.”
Her XO grumbled semi-silently for a bit. “Fair enough, Captain. I’ll ask her. While we’re out there.”
“Good.” The humans in the clean room were now about finished with their checks, and Sadaf felt a bit of a thrill. She was, after all, witness to a species taking their first steps into a larger universe.
Five hoses were now shoved into five chest-mounted receptacles, each hose leading to its own hand-held air-conditioning unit. Another complicated round of checks, slaps, and thumbs-ups then followed.
“They do know that we’re just going to walk beside them right into the landing boat, right?” asked Takh. “This whole process isn’t really necessary.”
“Let them have this moment,” said Sadaf with a gentle smile. “They’re having fun.”
__________
The five white-suited individuals emerged from the hallway to pretty much universal uproar, both in person and online. The suit color was all NASA, but the logos were not. All four wore the emblem of the United Nations at their shoulder, a pair of olive branches surrounding a polar view of the world. The four humans all did their bit and waved for the cameras. Those in charge of the cameras did as instructed, and ignored the two black-and-sliver figures behind the quartet. The latter weren’t wearing any sort of pressure suit.
In the middle of the courtyard hovered the real talking piece, a landing boat from the Rithro. Its entry door was already lowered, and with another wave to the cameras from each of the five humans, they walked up the ramp and into the craft.
The five of them then looked at each other as the door began to close behind them. They’d trained together for a bit, enough to get a feel for each other. But now there was a real sense among them of holy shit what now?
Their mutual what-nows were interrupted as Tofa appeared. The arachnoid alien held a tray in one pedipalp, and upon that tray sat a little dish of what looked like Brazil nuts.
“Greetings!” chirped Tofa. “Welcome to Rithro Air, I assure you we have an excellent safety reputation. Well, almost excellent, if you don’t count the affair around Barnard’s Star. You may now take off your pressure suits. May I interest you in a nut?”
The four humans (and a few of the aliens) flinched as Ravindar let loose with a hearty belly-laugh. He reached up to undo his helmet while he beamed a brilliant white smile at their greeter. “You? I like you. We’re going to be fast friends.” He reached down to pluck a nut from the tray. “Madame? Do you want to take the first nut? Or should I taste it first?”
“Um…” For once, Parvati looked uncertain within her glass-and-cloth cocoon. “If you wish to taste, then please go ahead.”
“As you wish.” Ravindar held her eyes as he bit into the proffered nut. “It seems to be all right,” he pronounced.
After the great ceremony with which they’d been ensconced into their pressure suits, the humans then with reluctance emerged from their cocoons.
“We set up some chairs for everyone!” exclaimed Tofa, who gestured to the sides of the landing craft.
“Um, where do we put all of this?” asked Martinez as he held up a pressure-suit gauntlet.
The alien spider blinked. “Oh, right! Kexal, would you mind helping our guests stow their material?”
__________
The conference room at ULA now looked out over an even-greater bustle of activity. They were determined to at least match SpaceX in terms of tonnage-to-orbit; maybe they’d do so more efficiently? The mere notion had set a fire under everyone.
Joachim sat in a wheelchair while he studied those in front of him. “Ladies and gentlemen. I have, through some strange technological miracle, been re-granted the use of my mind. Not only that; they tell me that I and my wife might, if certain tests go well…we could become that which we once were. I intend to make sure that this gift does not go to waste. Not for me, nor for my wife, nor for the rest of humanity. Anyways. We have some aliens who need our help, we have some psychotic robot idiots who are fucking things up for everyone, and we need to get some serious tonnage into orbit as a result. Is that about the shape of things?”
“That’s pretty much the shape of it, sir,” said Dwight.
Joachim pointed a wrinkled finger at the speaker. “You. I’ve been caught up enough that I know you were the one to advocate for the use of Sea Dragon.”
“Just as a Hail Mary,” Dwight protested.
Clara cleared her throat. “I mean, I understand the enthusiasm but nobody has ever fired a pressure-fed engine that big. A single engine, mind you.”
Joachim rubbed his chin. “I understand your concern. But also keep in mind, this is a pintle injector, not a shower-head like they had on the F-1s on the Saturn-Five’s first stage. Pintle injectors were classified at the time. That’s a pity, because pintle injectors are safe as houses.”
Clara looked over at him. “Really?”
“Oh yeah, they’re pretty much bomb-proof.”
The team regarded the design now up on the screen. Clara was the first to speak their mutual thought. “Could…could we make this work?”
Joachim’s exclamation brought them all up short. “Of COURSE we can!” He thumped his cane into the floor for added emphasis. “Gentlemen…and ladies, please forgive me Clara…not one month ago I was a drooling wreck of a human. Today I come before you with my mind re-borne and in full function. I intend to make full use of that function. As does my wife, God bless her. We are going to set an example.”
Joachim stood, levering himself upright via his cane. “Here I stand,” he said. “Like Martin Luther before me, I can do no other.”
After a moment, everybody else in the conference room stood as well.
“Welp, we’re all standing,” said Dwight. “Okay, so what do we do now?”
Joachim pointed his cane at the screen. “Now, my dear Dwight, we Build. That. Fucking. Thing. We’re gonna show these Coalition assholes how we humans put some serious fucking tonnage into orbit.”
“Fuck yeah,” said Clara, as an unholy light came into her eyes.
“Fuck yes indeed,” replied Joachim. “The question now is, what do we put into it?”
The other people in the room looked at each other, just before bursting out into exclamations as to what they wanted put into that first launch. It was the sound of people on an expense account to beat the band.