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Hekate's Grove: a place for all things Hekate

2013.10.10 21:09 cihuacoatl Hekate's Grove: a place for all things Hekate

Hekate’s Grove is a community dedicated to the Goddess Hekate. It’s a place to share ideas, rituals, artwork, information, and all things devoted to Her. All spiritual traditions are welcome, all we ask is respect for Her and the members of this community.

2021.08.20 10:08 nevernotdistracted Jazz_Emu

The Jazz Emu fan community!

2016.05.12 17:27 chillaxin4life Milwaukee's Bicycle Community

Welcome to Milwaukee's bike subreddit! From the urban commuters to the beach cruisers, everyone and their bike is welcome here for newbie advice, pro events, and everything in between! Bike maps and bike shops are listed in the wiki.

2023.06.02 00:08 Uranit_78 The Vexation of 3.7 Spiral Abyss' flawed design

The Vexation of 3.7 Spiral Abyss' flawed design
The day is 1st of June, 2023. We log in to our favorite game, Genshin Impact, to do our dailies, spend the day of Resin, some of us do some crazy things like walk from King Deshret's Pyramid to Mondstadt. But, since it's a first day of a month, we get to enjoy our ever so distant monthy content - the reset of the shop, new free wishes, and the reset of Spiral Abyss
To no surprise to anyone, the 3.7 version of Spiral Abyss is one of, if not the most aggravating one since launch despite the obnoxious cycle of last abyss rotations. We came from hating Golden Wolflord to Triple Kenki, from Triple Kenki to the Wenut - Abyss isn't spoiling us to be fair. And we have to deal with those Consecrated Beasts, our most beloved all the time.
Yet this round up is the worst not because the monsters are annoying as hell, not fully at least. 3.7 Spiral Abyss is inherently badly designed

Let's have an overview of the latest Floor 12, and analyze it's infuriating flaws. Sidenote - i am aware of the difficulty increase in Floor 11 as well, yet it's much more generous timers offset that spike for now.

We'll start from the whole 1st Half, since i want to go over half individually
Floor 12-1-1

1st Wave - 1 Pyro Whopperflower, 2 Cryo Whopperflower, followed by 2 Pyro Whopperflowers and 1 Cryo Whopperflower 2nd Wave - 3 Primal Constructs, followed by 3 Primal Constructs
The starting part of the Floor 12 is the probably the second least daunting one of the 6 halfs, but it's lineup still forces a certain playstyle upon you. While the 6 flowers may be annoying with their hopping and underground digging, they do fall quickly, and their inexistant poise makes them easy to stagger and quickly eliminate.
The Doritos however are a diffirent story. If you don't blitz them down, they go poof and enter stealth, unallowing you to comfortably attack them since the auto target system in Genshin will bruteforce you into one of their "beyblades" they leave while vanished. To burst the state prematurely, you ought to trigger a Quicken reaction on them, which will also stun them for a while.
Obviously then, running a Dendro/Electro duo is rather a must, that's alright, Genshin is a gacha, the amount of characters available is there for something, we cannot just blitz through everything with just Raiden National and Kuki Hyperbloom.
The other issue is the matter of the enemy spawn. The half consists of 12 enemies total, 6 for each type. However only 3 of them can be alive at a given time - once 1 goes down, it's immediately replaced with a diffirent one, providing a steady stream of foes. It might be an non-issue if you play someone like Alhaitham/Yae, but if you play something like Nahida, you constantly need to refresh your E, which may vary from a mild inconveniance (Keqing) to a serious displeasure (Cyno)

Floor 12-2-1

1st Wave - Jadeplume Terrorshroom
Chicken. Our dear and beloved Chicken. Will anyone be surprised if i say this is the easiest half of all 6? I mean, it's just one singular boss, a damage sponge who may hit you, but is rather fair to play against, it doesn't zoom from one edge of the arena to the other while chain knocking you up, right?

Floor 12-3-1

1st Wave - Consecrated Horned Crocodile & Consecrated Fanged Beast 2nd Wave - Consecrated Horned Crocodile & Consecrated Fanged Beast
Game's public enemy nr. 1 right now, and it's easy to tell why if you fought them once.
The Beasts have around a million HP each (tankier than Azhdaha), 40% resist to every element, increased to 70% for their own (Hydro for Crocodile, Dendro for Beast), have insane knockback on their attacks, deal gargantous amounts of damage and are surprisingly fast. The Fanged Beast even has an untargetability state to it.
We already had Consecrated Beasts in the Abyss. They actually are with us for nearly the whole 2023 - first ones appeared in the 2nd Chamber of 3.4 Floor 12. Up to this point, each time they were present, they fought in 2 each half. This time is no diffirent, we will face 2 of them at the same time - but this time, twice.
After defeating the 2 beasts, you fight the exact same line-up over again. This really makes the blood boil, since they were already a problem in 2, not to say 4. While this may come off as a hyperbole, shields are mandatory in this half, or at least something that grants resistance to interruption, such as Xingqiu's Rain Swords. You are going to be thrown around like a bag of potatoes otherwise.

Despite it's catastrophic finish, i'd wager to say that the First Half of Floor 12 is fairly designed. You might say right now "THe hell? How 4 Consecrated Beasts be fair desing? DOWNVOTE!" - hear me out. I am as pissed off about their existance as you are, but if you pick a Dendro Character for the Doritos in the 1st half, you will not be regretting that, despite the increased resistance of Chicken and Fanged Beast.
Second Half, however, is diffirent

Floor 12-1-2

1st Wave - 1 Cryo Abyss Mage, 1 Hydro Abyss Mage 2nd Wave - 1 Abyss Herald: Wicked Torrents, 2 Abyss Heralds: Frost Fall
This lineup is a straight up "f**k u" from Hoyoverse.
The Abyss Mages are not really an issue here - they are alone and they die fast. The Heralds are the problem.
All the issues of this half stem from one thing - their elements. Combination of Hydro and Cryo attacks will result in constant Freezes, while the wide coverage and high range of the Heralds will make it hard to avoid the Freeze. Then, given the design of Heralds, you have to deal with a chunky Hydro and Cryo Shields. This sparks a seed for a big problem of this phase's Second Half - Elemental Restrictions.
You cannot go Freeze Teams in the second half. You cannot go Nilou Bloom team (not that you'd want to, Second Half is nearly exclusively single target). Hyperbloom teams are hindered because of Cryo. Hydro Teams also do not work. That leaves us with Mono Geo, Anemo Carry, Pyro and Electro teams. Since the former elements are inert, and react in a diffirent manner, let's close up on the latter. Electro teams can certainly do this phase, but it's not worth the time, as Electro needs time to chunk both Hydro and Cryo shields, while Pyro will only slightly struggle with Hydro.

Floor 12-2-2

1st Wave - Thunder Manifestation
Remember that bit about Electro being able to do that? Yea, don't bother, there's a Mosquito waiting to ruin all your plans.
The whole boss honestly isn't too bad, however it is more unpleasant compared to the Shroom. It can blink, quickly make or close distance, and flies in the air, which may come as a discomfort for certain melee users. But it's attacks are telegraphed, easy to dodge.
The existance of Thunder Manifestation in the Second Chamber solidifies the Second Half as a Pyro-focused one. And as i said in the 12-1-1 analysis, it's ok. Genshin is a gacha game, it's made to test multiple diffirent strategies. There's nothing wrong with making a Pyro-centric half...

Floor 12-3-2

1st Wave - Iniquitous Baptist - (forget the title)
...unless it then requires other elements.
Iniquitous Baptist is a new Abyss Boss released in Version 3.6. The boss itself is actually one of the squishiests ones in the game, but it has a gimmick. Since it's an Abyss creature, it has a benefit of Elemental Shields, which are used in the battle. Shortly after the he spawns, Baptists creates 3 crystals around himself and channels, gaining approx. 270% damage reduction and a shield. To destroy the shield, you need to destroy the crystals - which require attacks from various, diffirent elements. After that shield dissapears, the Boss will cover himself in another elemental shield, which needs to be destroyed in a more traditional way.
Normally, it wouldn't be a problem. I think that it's a cool boss, and it's existance in Abyss doesn't frighten me. However, Floor 12's Second Half already excluded Hydro, Cryo and Electro from optimal usage by the way of Heralds and Thunder Manifestation. This creates a situation in which you need to pray that the Baptist never covers himself in a Pyro shield nor will he spawn a Pyro crystal which will be impossible to destroy. Aeonblight Drake did the similiar thing with forcing players to use bow characters against him, but following ASIMON did not punish you for having a Collei or Yelan the way that Baptist punishes you for going mono-Yoimiya for example.
Now, you can say "U can use supports to kill the shield". Sure, but that takes time. We are talking about Abyss 12, we have 3 minutes to complete BOTH halfs in order to get 3 stars. Some people want to 36 star the abyss for those extra primos, some for the personal achievement. The last chamber already has beasts, which can take up even 2 minutes in optimal scenarios, leaving 1 minute for a boss which sometimes will be impossible to tear down. This isn't even a numbers thing - You can whale 10k $ on Yoimiya's banner right now to get her C6 and a R5 Thundering Pulse to top that yet you still won't be able to damage the Baptist if he gets a Pyro shield. The design of this Abyss just doesn't make sense in any way, which sparks frustration.

I will allow myself to compare the new Abyss to the one from 2.5, when the rise of difficulty in Abyss started to become noticable

Now how is this one fairly designed? It has Wolflord!
Look, this Abyss cycle is practically neutral Elementally. The only place where usage of a certain element is either encouraged or prohibited is in 12-2-2 against the Wolflord. Indeed, that boss is a pain in the butt, taking a lot of time, and i agree that it's presence is not satisfactory, but it does not require us to use an element previous chamber disincentivized.

To summarise, the irritation that the new Abyss generates comes from it's bad design. First half shows us the issue of bloated health bars and overpowered mobs, while second half has inconsistant elemental requirements for it's enemies.
submitted by Uranit_78 to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:07 Hardandspikey I'm wanting to file a report with ICE but I want to make sure I'm not criminally liable for anything.

So this is a long, long story. But basically I work at a coffee shop, and we have a regular whos family is from Nigeria. After seeing her for months she approached me with an offer. Shes an immigrant and her student visa has expired. She offered me 25 thousand to marry her in order to obtain citizenship. Being strapped for cash, and having medical bills pile up. I originally agreed. I however ended up breaking it off after I came to my senses. All was amicable for a while.
However, since then she's tried approaching three other coworkers of mine, and I've come to realize she's being incredibly exploitive. Her family that's here has also approached the fast food chains across the street asking them as well. She's trying to risk someone's freedom for as little cash as she possibly can by finding someone poor enough to take it up. I feel as though letting authorities know is the only way to prevent this from happening but I'm scared my original involvement could get me into some trouble should I make a report. I do have a ton of evidence on my phone that could theoretically incriminate both of us. Even if I didn't merry her, could I be charged for originally planning to? Thanks for the advice.
submitted by Hardandspikey to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:06 ThrowRAhelpfrien My (31m) girlfriend (29f) thinks my behavior towards my best friends girlfriend is inappropriate. Is it?

TLDR: My girlfriend of 6 months feels like I treat my best friends girlfriend inappropriately, like more than a friend. I have been friends with her for years and I feel like I just treat her like all my other friends. I am dreading an ultimatum amd want to know if i am really in the wrong.
English is not my first language so sorry if I make any mistakes.
I feel like a little background is necessary. So I (31m) have been best friends with "Gabe" (33m) since university. About 6 years ago he started dating "Lizzie" (26f). I was really happy for him, they are perfect for each other and their relationship is really loving and happy. Even though we met Lizzie as "Gabes girlfriend" our friend group loved her immediately and she became a friend too. We do not invite her with us just because she is Gabes girlfriend, but because everyone loves her. If they were to ever break up we would still stay friends with Lizzie too.
Throughout the years she became one of my best friends and we are very close. They live 2 buildings away from me so we meet a lot. I had a horrible period 3 years ago where I was very depressed and both her and Gabe were there for me 24/7. She hooked me up with a good therapist, they helped me clean or cook when I couldn't because of the depression. I think you get the idea...
I am not necessarily a relationship kind of guy, these past years I only had shorter or less serious relationships. But I started dating "Mia" (29f) 6 months ago and I feel like I do want this relationship to become serious. The only problem is that it turns out she has a problem with how I treat Lizzie. She freaked out on me about it on Sunday and we are not on good terms since then. Here are some specific things that she finds inappropriate:
-We go to places together, just the two of us. It's not like I organise things like this, but if I want to go out for drinks and only Lizzie wants to come, I will not cancel. If we are the only ones interested in a concert than we will go together. Or if we need to go shopping for an upcoming holiday/trip we will not wait until a third person is available. One of us needs a ride home? We are practically neighbours so we will pick eachother up etc. These things were never awkward for us and Gabe doesn't mind at all.
Mia also mentioned some other small gestures that she thinks are signes that there is more between us.
In my opinion nothing I say or do to Lizzie is inappropriate, I never thought of her as more than a friend. She is an attractive girl but I don't think we have any chemistry. I just treat her like I treat my male friends. Gabe and I have a very strong and open friendship, so I feel like he would have told me long ago if my behavior towards Lizzie was not okay. Also, none of my past dates or girlfriends mentioned any of these. But maybe we've been friends for so long that I don't even realise them.
Now I am worried that Mia would give me an ultimatum that it's either her or Lizzie. I know for a fact that I would choose 6 years of friendship with the person who practically saved my life over 6 months of dating. But this is my first relationship in years that I feel like could be serious. Is there any way to prove to her that these things mean nothing? Any advice is appreciated.
submitted by ThrowRAhelpfrien to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:06 Technogamer7766 Leave a final message to ark 1. ❤️

I thought while ark 1 isn’t technically ending and it’s getting an enhancement I thought it would be nice to make a post were us ark players can leave a final message to the original game or maybe a memorable moment you’ve had on this post. ❤️❤️❤️
My message to ark: Thank you. Some people may find this message kinda cringe or sad but truly ark has saved me. In recent years I’ve started to find gaming really boring and also life in general but one of my few friends got me into the game like 3-4 years ago and it was the experience of my life. I truly love this game from the bottom of my heart (despite making me rage a lot) it has saved me from a really dark place, while it can’t help with everything it’s a nice escape from reality and gets my mind in a better and healthier place.
I will continue to support one of the only games that I can enjoy anymore for the rest of its lifespan. I can not wait for the release of the ryniognatha (looks terrifying) in a few days not to mention ark survival ascended and ark 2 and I will be watching all of the animated series when it arrives.
Truly I love you ark ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ps: You still owe me that max level voidwyrm you just poofed out of existence.
My memorable moment: aside from obliterating a dodo it has to be when I first encountered a Rex. I was gathering stone in a forest near the redwoods and just seeing it’s tail swing through the trees was so scary, I never went back into that forest and luckily it didn’t come out of the forest.
To everyone else please leave some kind of message or memorable moment on this post. I want to hear your experiences!
submitted by Technogamer7766 to ARK [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:06 RoohsMama Dammit, I became a TedBecca fan after rewatching the finale!

Too be clear, I was never a TedBecca fan.
I hate it when we’re supposed to assume that the two main characters will fall in love. So I was vehemently opposed to Ted and Rebecca being an item.
They’re chalk and cheese. Rebecca is sophisticated, refined. Ted is folksy, unworldly.
When Ted baked biscuits for Rebecca, I was like “that’s just his way of sucking up to the boss.”
When Ted defended Rebecca against Rupert: “yeah, Ted hates a bully. He’d’ve done the same for anyone.”
When Ted comforted Rebecca after Rupert embarrassed her at the fundraiser: “I wish I had a friend like Ted.”
When Rebecca comforted Ted after his panic attack at karaoke: “I wish I had a friend like Rebecca.”
When they made it seem like Ted and Rebecca were communicating on Bantr: “fuckit, writers. Ted and Rebecca are not compatible! Don’t pretend that Ted can write those profound quotes.” (As it turns out yes, he didn’t.)
When Ted and Rebecca gave Christmas gifts to kids: “man, Rebecca looks like an ice queen while Ted is Santa’s elf.”
When Ted sang to help out Rebecca at her dad’s funeral: “yeesh, don’t ruin Rick Astley for her, Ted. You definitely ruined him for me.”
Whenever Ted or Rebecca reached out to the other but somehow the other was incommunicado: “thank God Ted ran off/Sassy was there/the phone fell in the river.”
When the prophesy made it look like Rebecca was choosing between Sam or Ted: “what the-! Those are both workplace relationships! Neither! Neitherrrrrrr!!!!!”
Finally, when the writers trolled us with Ted waking up at Rebecca’s place, I nearly burst an artery. “What the hell, writers! These characters deserve so much more respect then just hooking up! What is wrong with you?!?” I was so relieved when I saw Beard appear in his red thong.
I was so happy when Dutch guy (whose name we find out is Mathis) appeared in “Sunflowers”. I fervently hoped it would be him. This is what “fucking lightning” looks like. In one episode, Rebecca and Mathis had more chemistry than Ted and Rebecca in 3 seasons.
Then Rebecca bade farewell to Ted at the airport, and by golly, Hannah Waddingham’s performance was so good, because I felt her anguish. Rebecca loved Ted, but with such a pure love. They brought out the best in each other. They understood each other’s pain. They supported one another and together, created a winning football team.
This is the guy who forgave her even when she tried to humiliate and destroy him. He sought ways to cheer her up and make her feel worthy of love and respect.
In return, she never lost faith in him. We focus on how the Richmond team believed in each other, but we don’t mention how much Rebecca believes in Ted. Even when they were losing, she never thought of firing him. She was the first to see his panic attacks and the first to see him through.
In that final goodbye, I became a TedBecca fan, but not in a romantic way. I want to see more of this pure, beautiful friendship. I want to see Ted doing “biscuits with the boss” every day and trying his best at girl talk. I want to see Rebecca drumming some sense into Ted and preventing him from being too whimsical. I want to see them grow old together as only the closest, dearest, most heartwarming friends do.
Sadly, I don’t think Ted will feature in any possible spin-offs. It’s a pity because it’s not often that we see such a beautiful platonic relationship.
submitted by RoohsMama to TedLasso [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:05 edenstaub My friend said this Disney Ariel Classic doll is a fake, is it?

My friend said this Disney Ariel Classic doll is a fake, is it?
I bought her from an online local shop. Quality wise, imo she is wonderful regarding hair and clothes. Her box is of good quality and the exact same from what I see from reviews on Youtube, with the exception of the added info sticker on the back in Mandarin.
Her face is slightly different though. Her eyes are looking to the left instead of right, and I think her lips are slightly misprinted because the bottom looks thin, unlike what's suggested on the mold.
I checked the reviews on the online shop, and it seems that only mine has this issue with the lips. Everyone else got perfectly printed lips from the photos they provided with their reviews, but the eyes are the same (looking to the left instead of right).
I posted her picture on IG story and one of my friends confidently told me that she's a fake. Is it true? I think it could just be a variation, since the quality is too good to be fake, but I might be wrong.
submitted by edenstaub to Dolls [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:05 scoutboot Shop vac quality?

I've been wanting to get a wet/dry shop vac for ages but can't seem to find a decent one under $70, and all the reviews I've found seem to be marketing content. Come to think of it, I've just never looked into what makes a good wet/dry vacuum... What's a good all-around shop vac that you might even be able to take on a job?
Any idea if a "craftsman" shop vac like this one here is a good deal (https://www.lowes.com/pd/CRAFTSMAN-5-Gallon-Portable-Wet-Dry-Shop-Vacuum/5001562243)? Good price, but the fact that this one looks like it's actually made by stanley/whatever foreign factory gives me pause...
submitted by scoutboot to handyman [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:05 annabellefs03 AITA for "betraying" my best friend (originally posted on May 29 on r/advice)

My (20F) best friend, "Brady" (20M) and I have known each other since we were about 5 years old. Our families have been close since his family were regulars at my family's restaurant. Brady has a younger brother named "Johnny", about a year younger, who I also had a close relationship with. In middle school, Johnny confessed his feelings for me, and I reciprocated. However, Brady strongly objected to us dating because he felt uncomfortable with his best friend dating his brother. We were upset, but Johnny and I respected Brady's wishes and didn't pursue a relationship. Brady went further and didn't even want me hanging out with Johnny. Reluctantly, I distanced myself from Johnny. I began dating my boyfriend, "Liam," who happened to be my neighbour, when I was 15 and he was 14. He has been amazing and I love him. I ended up taking Liam to my prom two years ago. Nearly a year later, when Liam and I were hanging out, Johnny showed up at my door with a flower, asking me to be his prom date. I said no, explaining that I had a boyfriend, which I thought he knew. He seemed embarrassed and left when Liam came to the door. Liam's prom was so fun. I was with Liam, my girl bestie and her date, my brother and his date, and Liam's best friend and his date. I noticed Johnny staring at me from a distance, which made me uncomfortable, so I asked my brother to switch seats with me. The next day, Brady invited me over to talk. He told me that after the prom afterparty, Johnny came home drunk and had a tantrum. He shouted at Brady, blaming him for ruining his life and pushing away the love of his life. I told him I had no idea he still had a crush on me. Brady thinks that Johnny's crush might have resurfaced after seeing prom pictures and me giving a valedictorian speech (I was not top of my class, I was voted). Brady blamed me for Johnny's tantrum, and said that I should've gone to prom with Johnny since he was now okay with us dating. I expressed that it would've been unfair to my boyfriend and I. This led to a heated argument, during which Brady said he didn't know why I was with Liam because he is short, annoying, and autistic. I told Brady that if he couldn't respect my boyfriend, I didn't want him in my life. A week later, I attended the high school graduation to support my brother, my girl bestie, and Liam. Afterward, Liam told me that Johnny seemed nervous around him, since they were put near each other because of their last names. He said it was amusing since Johnny is six inches taller and more muscular than him. Johnny came over to apologized to both of us for asking me to prom, admitting he knew we were dating and that he was being impulsive. Liam forgave Johnny, so I did as well. Now, in the present, I had noticed that I wasn't invited to my friend's birthday party, which is unusual. When I asked why, he told me I was a traitor to the friend group due to how I treated Brady. The party is today. I believed I was in the right, but my guy friends have turned against me.
submitted by annabellefs03 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:05 OceanSideDude Is it wrong if I can only flirt and be confident based on external factors of mine?

A few months ago, I was JACKED, full six pack showing, big shoulders and chest, lean and mean figure and defined chiseled jawline and face, and to top it off I had a lot of money, I could buy bottles of booze in the club, go on several dates a week, go to expensive restaurants, VIP cinema, etc etc
I felt on top of the world, I thought I was a sexy successful beast and so did the girls I was with, my confidence and energy was contagious and I may have even been a bit arrogant
Well, around 3 months ago I had some minor health complications in my neck and some wisdom tooth that had to be removed and it was very costly (yay America) and completely put me out of the gym for months
I now have around 50% of the savings I used to have, and my body, while still kinda muscular, nowhere near as big, impressive or shredded as before, my abs are gone and my face looks soft and chubby
And due to my money situation I can’t really buy drinks for every girl every time or go out that often
A few nights ago I tried night game again and HOLY SHIT, it’s like I was a whole different level, the music seemed louder, women scarier and other men more dominant and intimidating than me
Is it wrong that my confidence only came from external factors and wasn’t really coming from within?
If I has internal TRUE confidence, in theory I’d had no problems having dates now, but that’s not the thruth
submitted by OceanSideDude to moreplatesmoredates [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:05 Snap-Zipper I (27F) don't know how to navigate my relationship with my abusive parents (50 F, 50 M)

I will try and give a short backstory first.
I am the youngest of 4; I have two sisters in their 30's and a brother in his late 30's. My parents are in their 50's.My father was a smoker and drinker, who abused us mentally and emotionally. He really tore us down. Because I'm the youngest by quite a bit, I was alone with them when everyone else reached adulthood, so I received that much more of the abuse. I had no self-worth and was very depressed and angry. The depression and anger caused my parents to treat me like there was something wrong with me because my siblings had hidden their feelings well, and it just got worse and worse.
Things really reached a breaking point when I was sexually abused by a boyfriend who was much older than I was, and my parents cared very little. In fact, they seemed to blame me.When I was in my late teens, I began dating my now fiancé. My parents kicked me out as they believed he would take care of me, and he really helped me to accept my past and heal. It was a long journey, but I'm so proud of how far I've come.

So that brings us to now. Both of my sisters have children. One of them is a narcissist with extreme main character syndrome, who I will call N. She has followed in my parents' footsteps and is verbally abusive to both of her young children. One of them is already in therapy at a very young age, and I'm honestly shocked that she even let the poor kid get mental help. Their dad is not in the picture. N also has a fetish for stealing married men away from their wives, which my parents seem to have no issue with. My parents spoil her and have left everyone else for dead. It's disturbing.
My other sister is my best friend- I'll call her L. She is a fantastic mother and has overcome so much abuse to not repeat harmful cycles. However, she still puts herself in positions where she can be hurt. She'll always visit my parents when they invite her over, even though N will always be there too. L will drive all the way there just to be ignored in favor of N, who my parents see constantly anyway. She keeps insisting on going because she wants to be here for N's children, and she wants the cousins to have a good relationship, which they do. It hurts to see her put herself in the line of fire constantly, and it makes me feel guilty about not doing it as well sometimes.
My brother minds his own business. He doesn't like what my parents and N are doing, but he's over the bullshit and does his own thing.
My parents ooze judgement and negativity. If you've ever read 'the narcissist's prayer', that is pretty much their MO. Zero responsibility, zero accountability, and they've taught N to be the same way. I've had many fights with my parents over the years, trying to show them how much they've hurt me, and all I get back in return is denial. This came to a head in 2020, when N was dating a married man and his wife found out. A family friend was the one who contacted the woman, but I was blamed for some reason, even though it clearly was not me. My mother told me she didn't love me anymore. My father told me I was no longer family. I really thought that would be the end of it. How was that not the end of it?
They continue to act like NOTHING happened at all. I still get invited to holidays (but not hangouts). Sometimes fiancé and I go, sometimes we don't. My mom guilt-tripped me into going on a shopping trip for my birthday because my father is very sick, and she's been understandably stressed. No accountability for saying she doesn't love me. Nothing.
Here's the thing. I really don't want to see them anymore. I probably still would to an extent, like at L's children's birthdays, but Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.? They're nothing but stress on me, and I truly only go now because I want to support L, because this girl will not stop going over there for the sake of N's children. And I love N's kids too, very much, and I hate how they're treated, but I can't do anything. And it sucks, dammit.
One of N's kids has a birthday coming up, which I already said I would make an appearance at. It's unknown if my parents are attending. I haven't spoken to my father since late 2022 and I wished my mother a happy Mother's Day, but I was left on read. Needless to say, I do not want to see them there.
Now I'm torn on what to do. Do I send a text? Do I say, again, that how I was previously treated was unacceptable? That I've been 100% checked out of this relationship with all 3 of them since the 2020 issue and I want to make this breakup official? Or do I keep half-assing this for the sake of giving N's kids some positive interaction a few times a year, even if that is possibly accomplishing nothing? Am I secretly afraid to let go? I just feel confused and sad.
submitted by Snap-Zipper to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:04 FormerBreath5112 Fuck people that say they have seen bikes do stupid things too

Come into work and mention to a coworker that some dickhead nearly hit me, didn't want to move across even though there was an entire empty lane for him to move into and how I almost wish I was living in America so I could carry a gun for self defence when people try to use lethal force against me. Conversation following: Him "well a car is worth a lot more so I know who's side I would be on" Me "I can guarantee a pay a lot more towards roads through my taxes than that shithead in a beater" Him "well I have seen bikes do stupid things too" Me "A five year old is allowed to ride a fucking bike. There is almost no risk involved. If you choose to use a lethal weapon to move your ass around then you take on the responsibility. It doesn't matter how much stupid things bikes do, they still aren't likely to kill someone".
Why do people think it is excusable to hit a cyclist because they saw another cyclist break a rule? By that reasoning, I should have a free pass to take a baseball bat to every car in the parking lot.
Whenever someone tells you that it's not the individuals that's the problem, it's the society, don't forget that it is individuals that refuse to inconvenience themselves with a 1m swerve or a 10 second slow down to make it safe to ride that forces people on the fence back into the safety of their own cars. Fuck cars and fuck the people that think there is any legitimate reason to endanger someone's life to save themselves from two minor course deviations to ensure they safely pass someone on a bike.
submitted by FormerBreath5112 to fuckcars [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:03 Indie_Robolobo Just Got My Dream Data Science Job 🎉

Posting this mainly because I’ve seen a lot of posts lately in DS/CS areas about doom and gloom over difficulties in finding jobs. If I can get a good job I certainly hope others can too.
I fought my way back from a near-fatal injury that derailed my career and forced me to do lighter work while I recovered from disability for about five years. Now my career is back on track at a level somewhat above where I was at before I had to stop. Prolonged and protracted adversity can suck my ass because I won.
submitted by Indie_Robolobo to datascience [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:03 NoDetective8833 From dirty, to clean, to being hit while parked, and now stuck in a shop while I fight insurance to pay for it.

From dirty, to clean, to being hit while parked, and now stuck in a shop while I fight insurance to pay for it.
Car has been in the shop for over a month now and the insurance is trying to hose me. Goes to show that even when you aren’t at fault insurance still sucks to deal with and makes me wonder why we pay these jerks to begin with. I just miss my car.
submitted by NoDetective8833 to NewedgeMustang [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:03 CH0NZA1 Battery Replacement - Surface Laptop 3

Hi everyone I want to replace the battery in my surface laptop 3. My laptop dies pretty fast and its 4 years old. I don't know much about computer hardware but I assume it is the battery causing me this problem. Are there any shops in Los Angeles that you know where I can take my laptop so they can replace it for me?
I am not worried about the warranty because it has long passed since then. {letting you know in case that matters}
submitted by CH0NZA1 to computer [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:03 MinuteHunt6341 Cancelling contract job

I recently got a job offer for a contract job (J2). I've never worked contract before and I'm having trouble understanding the legal aspects around quitting.
To give a bit of background:
The job itself sounds like a terrible environment (hubstaff tracking, toxic boss with anger issues) but I'm willing to take it temporarily because I have ~ 3 months off before school starts in September. I thought it would be a good way to make extra cash on my months off to help save for a house. Even if they fire me, that’s still at least a couple thousand.
The contract states:
  1. This contract can be terminated by either party to this contract at any time, and for any reason during its term, by giving the other party to this contract 30 days notice that they wish to terminate this contractual relationship. This section only applies after three months of work has been completed by the contractor.
I'm cutting it close since I start the job on June 7 and classes start near September 7.
Does this mean I can quit without a 30 day notice in the first 3 months of starting?
If not, can I provide a 30 day notice during my second month of employment and still technically have worked for 3 months when I actually leave?
Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you
submitted by MinuteHunt6341 to overworked [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:03 AlienRobotTrex Help with asking my parents for help.

It’s pride month, and I want to finally break out of my shell and be more feminine. My parents are 100% supportive of me and know that I’m nonbinary, but I’m still nervous about taking the leap. I want to ask my mom to take me shopping for more feminine clothes and makeup, and also ask her and/or my dad for help with body hair removal.
Can you help me think of what to say, and also just hype me up?
submitted by AlienRobotTrex to feminineboys [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:02 Yousaidthat I.. don't think I'm the first one to wake up anymore...

So. I don't really know how much time I have left -- but I'm hoping I can maybe find someone else who has experienced this before ... or maybe just warn others. Before this week, I'd never had any kind of mental health issues beyond the odd bout of anxiety or depression. No history of anything severe in the family either. This all just... came out of nowhere.

So on Tuesday morning, early -- like, before 7 or something, my partner woke me up with her usual morning routine. Shower, sink, etc. etc. Nothing out of the ordinary - Usually I have my roll around the bed in existential denial and then get up to brew us some coffee. Now, I obviously fit in my denial roll but when I tried to sit up... it happened.
My dog, a small little dachshund, started growling and snarling viciously. At the same moment... it was like I lost forward motor function in body. Everything gave out in my back and my head hit the pillow. I lost consciousness. I don't know how long I was out but when I woke up, I had several texts from my partner with varying levels of concern ...basically just telling me to go to bed earlier tonight so I can get up and have breakfast with them the next day.
Weird... but forgettable.
But that was just how it started.

Because the next day, it was basically the same thing -- stirring in the morning, rustle, rustle, roll roll -- sit up - dog growls - fall back to sleep. When I woke up, I had no texts at all. Shit, she must be really pissed at me. So I texted her right away.

"Hey babe! I'm so, so sorry about that! I don't know what's going on, I swear I came to bed at a normal time."
I sat there stewing for a second. That's when I noticed my dog was sleeping on the floor on the other side of the room.. well, not sleeping. Watching me. A chime from my phone --
"What are you talking about? You got up and we had breakfast together...We did a lot more than that lol. You made me late for work... you just wouldn't stop. It was hot though ;)"
I still remember the mixture of confusion, anger and...jealousy?? that hit me immediately. All the obvious questions hit me and none of them had any reasonable answers. What was going on with me? Was I going into a miniature fugue state?? But what kind of fugue state lasts 2 hours? It fucked with me... hard, that first day. I didn't want to worry her but I knew it was going to be hard to keep it from her.
So I had an idea. I would try recording myself. I've got a small nanny cam from when we had someone dogsit (i know, I know) and I placed it inconspicuously on top of one of our shelves so it would catch my attempt to sit up. I wanted to see if it looked like anything was giving out in my back.. or even how long I stayed asleep. I just had to make it through the night without weirding out my partner too much... which turned out to not be an issue. She was all over me when she got home and, honestly, we tired ourselves out. I meant to do some sort of prep-work or something before the next day but honestly I just passed out.
And when I woke up I had 5 text messages from my partner.. and instead of it being 10 or so in the morning, it was almost 6 in the evening. My chest and body were burning with... scratch marks... all over them. The room was chaos. Bed sheets strewn around and dressers knocked over. I had dried blood all over my shirt and the camera was smashed into fragments against the far wall. I opened the texts.
"Why did you do that to me?"
"I don't know anything about that camera.. I can't believe you would act like such a psycho and not believe a single thing I told you."
"I don't think I can ever trust you again, Stephen. My brother is going to be by later to get my stuff. Don't even ask about Dobie."
The next two were from much later in the day. Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt my world come unglued.
"If you ever come near me again I'm calling the cops. I don't know what's happened to you but you need to seek professional help.. right away. I could barely keep my coworkers from calling the cops on you. What were you even trying to say?? Look I don't even want to know -- you need help."

At this point I was sobbing quietly into my hand. I felt so alone and completely unhinged. My eyes scanned the room for answers or explanations. They came to rest on something, finally, as I read the last text sent 20 minutes ago,

"Stephen... has Alex come by yet? He was supposed to be back an hour ago."

I haven't done very much since reading that text - I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't think I'm very good at hiding bodies.
submitted by Yousaidthat to nosleep [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:02 mydearlady-disdain Well, he finally admitted it.

I've spent the last 7 years in a dying to nearly dead bedroom (just duty sex as of recently), and during this time I kinda knew my husband just wasn't attracted to me any more, but I just thought I'd be okay without an exciting sex life since we got on so well in literally all other aspects of our life together. He's essentially my best friend, and my friends and family and I love him to pieces. He also does give me some physical affection like hugs, kissing my forehead, pecks on the lips, etc. But to hear his lack of attraction confirmed in a particularly harsh way now has me questioning our future.
For some additional context: I recently stumbled upon screenshots in his phone of women from his past, along with random creepy pictures of women that he took in public (gross). The screenshots were obtained through a fake Facebook he created since he does not have one of his own, and included the woman he cheated on me with during our 2nd year together, along with other women with whom I'm not familiar. I've seen porn on his phone many times, or come across him clicking away from it quickly.. and while that hurt to see since he would reject me in the bedroom, it honestly wasn't as bad as seeing so many screenshots and sneaky pictures taken of other attractive and fully clothed women. That told me it was more than just preferring porn/getting himself off over sex with me.
At first he couldn't tell me why he felt compelled to take pictures and screenshots of all these women and save their photos. Also - some of the FB pics saved were women on their wedding day and others with daughters of their own in the pictures with them, which I also found a bit concerning. Months later, I brought up the issue again and finally got an answer, but only after telling him that I'm pretty much at my breaking point because the lack of any genuine interest from him over the years was making me feel so shitty about myself. I couldn't take the duty sex any more and it just wasn't okay. He took a while to think about it and when I asked about the pictures of women in his phone, he said that growing up, he always imagined that he'd be married to that badass woman that was an 11 out of 10. I didn't say anything and he admitted it was unrealistic to think that way since he's not a 10 himself. And then he goes on to say that he really needs to learn how to be happy with a 7 or 8 and to see them as a 10, because that's what I am to him, and he needs to appreciate me more. During this time, he's kneeling in front of me and half in tears because he doesn't want to lose me...and is making all sorts of promises and begging for me to give him another shot, that he can make things better. I immediately broke down a bit, because even though I knew he wasn't very into me, he literally had to go and put a damn number on me?! Like what the actual fuck, man.
And he tried to apologize and say it came out wrong after seeing my reaction...he wanted to reword it after realizing it hurt me, but ended up saying something like.. "well you never want to be with a 10 that's a bitch". And I told him to just stop right there because I didn't want to hear anything further. I realize he was trying to tell me that my personality was what bumped me up to a 10 in his eyes, but honestly just knowing he ranks women by this fucking number scale just makes my skin crawl. He's such a good man in all other ways, but this whole conversation I had with him just rattled me to my core and even though it happened over a week ago, I'm still angry and trying to process it all. How can I stay with someone so shallow? I mean, he's likely judging all women's value/attractiveness by this damn 1-10 scale.. and that's just gross to me.
I don't know if I really want advice on this, but..I needed to get this out to others that don't know him and to just get some support and kind advice. My one friend was surprised I didn't kick his ass out of the house for that comment, but I thought that would be an overreaction, especially considering I was sitting there begging for an honest answer on why he saves those pictures and why he didn't instead have or want pictures of me on his phone.
Also, while I've had other men tell me I'm gorgeous, attractive, etc, I don't see myself as a 10 by any means - and I didn't expect/want to hear that from my husband at all. He was the one to bring up this damn scale and put it into my head..but now I'm just not sure there's any coming back from it. How can I forget that he only sees me as a 7 out of 10? Even if he did come around and actually seem interested in me sexually again, how could I ever accept any of his advances? I don't want someone taking pity on the poor 7 and lowering themselves to sleep with her. Fuck that! I want someone who treats me like I'm beautiful and attractive and makes me feel wanted.
submitted by mydearlady-disdain to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:02 Heea_kun I feel distanced

As I sit there, I feel distanced Distanced from what? Neither I know, Is it a feeling? Is it a person? Is it a memory? Is it me? Is it longing? Neither I know I jolt down these words off my mind That I feel better deep inside And look within, what can find Maybe If she was here I wouldn’t fear Maybe If she was near I would be freer Maybe If she was here She would hear Maybe If she would hear I wouldn’t feel distanced at all Because she’s the dear, only if she would appear…
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submitted by Heea_kun to OCPoetry [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:01 valtielss i have a couple questions!

i have a couple questions regarding my new argus monitor, ghost. - should i start breeding dubia roaches or Madagascar hissing cockroaches first? i plan on breeding both but i currently only can breed one of these species. the reason why i want to start breeding is because it’s very hard for me to attain roaches the day i need to restock on them. - is opening one of the doors to his enclosure and sitting near it / talking to him a good way to start off taming? i have not touched him or handled him yet. - i’m pretty sure slow tongue flicks mean something positive right? when me and my partner interact with him there are times he slowly tongue flicks. is this a good sign or potentially a sign of stress?
submitted by valtielss to MonitorLizards [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:01 Top_Boysenberry_8079 Suggestions for birth control methods?

I (22F) have just gotten off the mini pill because it was causing such intense anxiety that I couldn't function. I would have panic attacks nearly daily and could never sleep because I was so anxious. I've decided to see if the BC is my problem because it caused intense anxiety in my mother, I have no family history of anxiety, I only ever started having panic attacks until on the pill, and my anxiety peaked around 2 hours after taking the pill. So far it is going great, honestly. I've slept through the night this week! I've had a copper iud before but I pulled it out with my diva cup accidentally. My experience with the iud was so bad... they never even checked if it was in place with an ultrasound, just the strings, at my check up. They couldnt get it in at first. Then the next appt i threw up twice when they put it in. Over the next 3 months The pain was so intense that I think it was expelling itself. Sometimes I would literally double over in pain suddenly. I would cry and take 4 Ibuprofen and a warm bath and stay in bed all day. My periods were so heavy that I bled through a diva cup (didn't know that was possible!). I got so anemic that I couldn't do a full zumba class (I'm an instructor) and I had to have a student step in. I couldn't get up a flight of stairs without being winded. Honestly me accidentally removing it was such a relief. I can't have estrogen in my birth control because of a blood clotting disorder. So I've essentially ruled out hormones... what are my best options? Do I try to do the copper iud again? Was it likely the providers fault for not placing it correctly or was my body truly expelling it? What does expelling an iud feel like? Any suggestions? I really don't want a kid right now. My husband and I are currently using condoms but that feels so risky.
submitted by Top_Boysenberry_8079 to birthcontrol [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 00:01 jellysmacks I am entirely fed up with boxed-in thinking

It’s disturbing to me how little people respect their own observational or intellectual abilities, or the abilities of others around them. This seems to specifically be a huge problem when mental health is involved. Many people seek therapy or other forms of psychological help in the hopes that the one helping can teach them to understand themselves. Oftentimes they don’t understand that the one who is supposedly helping is only there to turn them into someone who fits in by societal standards instead.
I have no interest in being “fixed” or to turn my brain down a couple notches and live the rest of my days with values and goals that somebody else believes are important. I would, however, like assistance from somebody with training and knowledge in recognizing behaviors so that I can isolate my problems and correct them myself. This just does not seem possible, as I’ve never met a mental health worker who wants to help me be me instead of helping me be “normal.” In fact I’ve never even been lucky enough to converse with anybody who values neutral observations over a piece of paper with a clinical diagnosis on it.
It’s mind-numbing. What are you people doing? Is it sincerely in your best interest- whether it’s for mental health reasons, spiritual reasons, religious reasons, or any other reason- to shut up and take an unknown person’s word as law because they have a signed piece of paper from another unknown person stating that they’re qualified to speak on certain matters? I can’t imagine living my life so unabashedly unconcerned with my own intellectual integrity. Nobody ever discovered anything by reciting what someone else told them; everything new comes from finding things yourself.
I can only hope that somebody who reads this can relate, but speaking from experience it seems that it’s far more likely speaking like this will only elicit condescension. Don’t waste your time trying to convince me that what is honest is actually arrogant. I let myself believe that one for too long.
submitted by jellysmacks to Vent [link] [comments]