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Married to workaholic with Bipolar 2
2023.05.30 22:21 Infamous-Judge-5115 Married to workaholic with Bipolar 2
Hi everyone. My husband was diagnosed bipolar a year or so before I met him, and I've always known him while he's had medication that has mostly evened him out, or at least softened his edges. He says while he still gets manic, he doesn't get the massive come-down the way he used to.
He's a very hard worker and extremely dedicated to his job, he works in sales which is pretty up & down in nature and his moods bob along with it. At this point, he is on a huge high, he just got a new job and he is at his office about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, and on his phone whenever he's home otherwise. We have two young daughters, so I spend my time running the house, parenting our girls, running our side business and studying for my master's. My husband is so wrapped up in himself right now I can't even get him to look at me. He's completely drawn to his phone, if I start talking to him, he picks up his phone, if I do happen to catch his attention for a minute, he will hear his phone buzzing (texts, not calls) in the background and tells me he has to go get it. Our daughters are asleep by the time he comes home at night so he only sees them for a little in the morning but when they speak to him, he doesn't even hear their voices because he is either on his phone or thinking about work. I have to snap him out of his trance so they can repeat themselves for him to hear. If I'm watching TV he comes in to change the channel and then picks up his phone.
He's the only person I have. I don't have family nearby, I don't have any friends. I'm so sick of nagging him, I try so hard to communicate myself well and give him the benefit of the doubt but he just doesn't hear me, and if I ramp up at all, he gets extremely defensive and tells me he will just leave and go to work if I'm going to be like that.
Even though he's at a high right now, I feel this impending sense of doom. I've seen his come-downs before and they aren't the "stay in bed for weeks" type that they used to be, but they're still not easy. He had one that lasted for weeks after our wedding and it crushed me. I can't talk to him then either because he stonewalls me.
I am grateful that he doesn't have any seriously destructive behaviors, I'm glad I'm only worried about him being so wrapped up in his work that he can't think about anything else but I feel so stuck. I understand this is just how his brain works and I'm grateful that he mostly has this thing under control, no one around him would know he's bipolar, he's not wilding out or unpredictable like he used to. It's still hard though. I feel underappreciated and I don't want to have to keep reminding my husband that I'm important and that he could consider me a little. It makes me feel inadequate and needy and I hate that.
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2023.05.30 22:20 dancer15 Do I Move Up or Over?
Hi all,
So I'm presently working at a hospital in the Medical Records department. I have a degree and a credential that relates to what I'm doing, but the field is large enough that I could be doing a lot of other things, too. My present position was kind of the most entry-level and a nice starting point when I was fresh out of college, though.
So I'm now 2 years into the position, and when I had started, my bosses told me to let them know if there was a job in a different department that I was interested in shadowing. They love me but are really great people and just genuinely want us to be happy. At the time I was content where I was, so I just filed it away for future thought.
Well, recently I've been thinking of ways to expand my degree, and I've been looking into Trauma Registry positions. So I asked my bosses if I could shadow that position at my hospital, and they set it all up for me. The shadowing went super well and I found the job to be incredibly interesting. My only complaint about my current job is that it's a little boring, even though I do different things every day, because I don't find it challenging.
The plan was to maybe take some more classes and work on a future plan of getting into trauma registry work if I liked it, but then the person I job shadowed with mentioned that they were hiring for another part-time position right now. She also mentioned that they set their own hours, so a lot of the part-time people also worked at other hospitals part-time because there's tons of flexibility.
So I was considering applying while keeping my current position, but then I realized that I would go insane if I tried to work 60 hours a week. It would also be tough to get all the hours in while I was training in the new position, as that flexibility wouldn't be there yet. I then thought maybe I could ask my bosses if I could drop to part-time in my current job and then just work the two part-time positions at the same hospital. This is something that they have done for other people before, so I thought it may work out for me.
However, my boss just offered me a small promotion last week. It's my same job duties with just a couple of extra things, and a slight bump in my wages. She apologized that she couldn't do more and let me know that as soon as a higher position in our department opened, she would be bumping me up to that one. I appreciate the pay raise of course, but it all kind of throws a wrench in my plans of asking to go part-time.
So my question is, do I forget about the trauma registry job and keep working my way up in my current department, or do I apply for the part-time position and hope that I can also keep my current job but at part-time hours? Knowing that I probably won't be working my way up in my current department any more as a part-time employee? Do I ask my current bosses about dropping to part-time before or after applying for the new position if I choose to do so? I have never had these kinds of options before, so I would appreciate a little advice!
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2023.05.30 22:18 No-Instruction2026 [NE] Is it fair to ask for my start date to be extended with a new employer?
I was offered a job last Thursday and was posed the question of whether I would like to start on the 12th or 19th. I said I would be fine with either, but it would depend on when I would be able to put my two week notice in for my current employer pending background check and all that come through fine and its confirmed that all my pre-employment obligations have been met. Personally, i'm not comfortable putting in my two weeks notice without that confirmation. (I have nothing to worry about, my record is sqeaky clean, but i know mistakes can happen)
They told me the process is pretty quick and put me down to start on 6/12 and I signed the written offer and filled out the background check items on friday. I got an email from the background check company that they completed the check. I emailed the talent acquisition manager and sent an email to the onboarding team for the confirmation that I'm good to start and no mistakes came back on my background check this morning. I'm getting told through automatic replys that I will hear back from them near the end of the week.
This makes me nervous as that does not allow me to give my employer a fair two week notice. My current employer has been good to me and I don't want to screw them over. How do I address this with the hiring team that I may need to start on the 19th to allow for a two week notice?
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2023.05.30 22:17 chuckhustmyre [TH] MIRROR IMAGE by Chuck Hustmyre
William Bailey's forehead shattered the mirror like a sledgehammer. The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was the feeling that he was falling through the mirror. Sub-cranial hematoma, a concussion, maybe even a cracked skull--that had to be the reason for the strange feeling. The mirror was mounted on the wall just to the right of the bar, four feet tall by about three feet wide. As consciousness slipped away, common sense and his strong belief in the rational world told him that he couldn't fall through the mirror. He must have bounced his head off the wall and be falling toward the floor.
It seemed like just a second or two before William's eyes popped open. He lay on his back, on the hard wood floor of Fausto's, with Johnny Davis towering over him. Big Johnny probably wanted to finish him off, maybe kill him, and finally end their twenty-year-old feud. Either Big Johnny Davis and the ceiling lights above him were spinning, or William's head was spinning, but either way something wasn't right.
He raised his head and looked to his left, toward the bar. Except the bar wasn't there. Instead, he was staring at the bathrooms. That didn't make sense. It must be his brain that had gotten spun around. William turned his head and peered over his size-ten wingtips at the busted mirror. The wooden frame and most of the glass still clung to the wall, the rest sat broken on the ground. The bar had to be on his left. He looked again, and still saw the bathrooms. A brain bruise, maybe some fluid pressure building up might be the cause of it.
"Get up!" Big Johnny Davis said.
William looked up at him. Johnny stood behind him, just beyond his shoulders. Perfect place for him to stomp my head into the plank floor. Except Johnny Davis was holding out his hand.
"Come on, we've got to get out of here."
Davis looked scared. It was the first time William Bailey could ever remember Johnny Davis looking scared. William had always been scared of Big Johnny, but Big Johnny wasn't scared of anything or anyone.
Police sirens wailed in the distance.
Johnny glanced over his shoulder. William craned his neck to look where Johnny was looking, saw he was staring at the front door like a man terrified something bad was going to come through it. Big Johnny looked down at him again and pumped his hand. "Come on, get up. They'll be here any second."
"Who?" William asked. "Who'll be--" But before he finished, Big Johnny Davis reached down, grabbed him by both arms, and jerked him to his feet.
As he was dragged toward the door by the only man in town who truly hated him, William glanced up and saw the rusted metal sign nailed above the door. He had to have a concussion, probably severe; that had to be it, because the letters on the sign were backward. It said TUO.
As Johnny Davis pulled him out the door, William heard tires skid on the pavement.
"Where's your car?" Johnny asked.
William twisted away from the big man's grip, then turned to his left. "In the alley." He started to run, still not sure exactly what he was running from.
Behind him, Big John shouted, "The alley's over here."
William kept running but turned his head back toward Johnny. "I know where the alley--"
Something hit him across the midsection and toppled him to the ground. He got his hands up just in time to break his fall and managed to keep his head from slamming into the sidewalk. When he looked up he saw a shopping cart tumbled onto its side.
Once again, William found himself lying flat on his back, this time amid the spilled contents of the cart. It had been filled with junk: paper bags full of dirty clothes, canned food, bags of potato chips, a diamond shaped, orange road sign, and other trash that looked like it had been collected from back alley garbage bins.
The homeless man who'd been pushing the cart was scrawny, and wafer thin. His skin was the color of old shoe leather, and he wore a long gray beard, tangled and matted with food and bits of filth. He was sprawled on the ground next to his cart, half sitting up, staring at William with his bright blue eyes.
Car doors slammed, men shouted.
"You better get going," the homeless man said, as he cocked his head. "The police after you?"
Police!
Before William could assure the old man that the police weren't after him--he was a respected businessman and family man--someone behind him grabbed him under both arms and pulled him to his feet. William turned and found himself staring into the face of Johnny Davis. "The alley's that way," Johnny said, pointing to the other side of Fausto's. With one hand gripping William's jacket, Johnny dashed across the front of the bar toward the alley. The alley--right there, plain as day--on the other side of Fausto's, right where it shouldn't be, where it couldn't be. William had been here a thousand times. As you stepped out of the bar, the alley was on the left, Brockton's Ace Hardware on the right. Now everything was mixed up and in the wrong place.
Johnny Davis turned down the alley, dragging William behind him. After just a few steps, a spotlight flashed in front of them.
"Stop!" a voice commanded. "Get on the ground."
William couldn't see because Johnny was in his way. "Who's that yelling?" he asked.
Big Johnny stopped and William plowed into his back.
"Get on the ground," the voice boomed again.
William poked his head out from behind Johnny Davis's back. The blinding white light was in his face. He couldn't see a thing.
POP! POP! POP!
Gunshots.
Big Johnny sagged, then crashed to his knees. Instinctively, William bent forward and grabbed hold of Johnny. "What's the matter?"
More pops.
Johnny's big hand reached out and shoved William back toward the street. "Back door," he wheezed, then plunged forward onto his face.
William stood alone. Behind the white spotlight he saw blue police lights flashing. He was totally exposed.
POP! POP!
He saw flashes--little yellow spurts of flame--as something tugged at his jacket.
William had said "back door." What back door? Fausto's had a back door, but it didn't lead anywhere except to the open space behind the building used for trash and deliveries. Twenty feet of asphalt between the bar and the back of the building on the next block. William had parked his car at the end of the alley, but the police cars--or whatever they were--had the alley blocked off. The building behind Fausto's also had an alley that ran alongside it, but the owner had closed it off to keep the bums out. He'd put up a gate, padlocked it, and topped it with razor wire. It was a dead end.
Two more pops. Dead end or not it was better than standing here and getting shot. William turned and ran. He burst through the front door of Fausto's, dashed through the bar, past the shattered mirror, hit the back door at a dead run, and was outside behind the bar within seconds.
He could see the tail end of his car sticking out from the corner of the building, but with the cops blocking the alley, his car was useless to him. William glanced across the open space to the alley that ran next to the other building. The gate, the padlock, the razor wire--all still in place. To his right an overflowing garbage dumpster sat beside the back of Fausto's, jammed against the fire ladder.
The fire ladder.
An iron ladder bolted to the cinderblock wall.
William looked up. The top of the ladder was lost in shadow, but he knew it went up two stories to the roof. Last summer, when the toilet had stopped up, he'd come out back to take a leak and had stood behind the dumpster, peeing against the wall like a kid, one hand draped over the bottom rung of the ladder.
He slipped behind the dumpster. The smell made him gag. The bottom of the ladder was four feet from the ground. William reached up as high as he could, grabbed hold of the third rung, then hauled himself up.
Through the partially open back door came the sounds of heavy feet pounding on the hard wood floor of the bar.
Halfway up the ladder, he was exhausted--and scared. Shaking, he white-knuckled the ladder. Being more than ten feet off the ground terrified him. He needed a break, just a second or two to catch his breath. There was enough moonlight so he could see into one of the second story windows. Inside, junk was piled everywhere. Old barstools, a busted jukebox, furniture stacked almost to the ceiling. Years ago, old man Fausto lived on the second floor, but Jake, who'd bought the place from the old man and had decided to keep the name, used it for storage.
Below him, William heard the back door thrown open so hard it banged against the wall. He scrambled up until he reached the top of the ladder, then hoisted himself over the edge of the roof. Down on the ground a voice shouted, "There he is, up there."
Another gunshot. What the hell was going on?
The unmistakable sound of feet--fast feet, in shape feet, boot shod feet--scurrying up the ladder. Standing on the tar and pebble roof, William glanced around for something he could use as a weapon, shocked he was even thinking of such a thing. A five gallon plastic bucket was all there was. It stood upright, filled with rainwater. He picked it up and peered over the edge. A uniformed policeman was three quarters of the way up the ladder. Two more cops were right behind him.
William looked at the heavy bucket in his hands, thought about just dumping the water onto them but knew it wouldn't stop them. There was only one way to stop them, and that was to knock them off the ladder. He thought about warning them, maybe trying to scare them away. But they were cops. You couldn't scare them away.
So why had they shot Johnny Davis, and why were they shooting at him?
The first officer looked up and saw William staring down at him with the bucket in his hands. Their eyes locked for just a second and the cop stopped. In those eyes that stared back at him, William saw an almost maniacal determination that sent a shiver down his spine. The officer held his grip on the ladder with his right hand while his left dropped to the pistol resting in his gleaming leather holster. In one smooth motion he drew his gun and raised it toward William.
William Bailey tossed the bucket down the ladder. A shot rang out an instant before the heavy bucket thudded into the cop's head. Like a gruesome traffic accident happening before his eyes, William couldn't help but watch as the policeman fell, taking his two partners down with him. The last thing William saw before he turned away was a jumbled heap of black uniforms resting on the concrete below the ladder.
* * *
Hiding in the shadow of a telephone booth, thinking. Home. He had to get home. Had to get back to Marge and the kids. Maybe somehow he could explain what had happened. Vincent, his attorney, he would know what to do--maybe--but he was a civil lawyer not a criminal attorney. He wrote contracts and did personal injury on the side; he didn't get people out of jail who'd killed a cop by dropping a bucket of water on his head and knocking him and his buddies off the side of a building.
As the cab he'd been waiting for pulled up, William stepped out from the dark and climbed into the back seat.
The driver turned around. "Where to?"
William pulled the door shut. "Uptown. 1721 Audubon Court."
"Fare's gonna be about fifteen dollars. After dark, I gotta have the money up front."
"What?"
"Company policy." The cabbie shrugged. "A lot of drivers been getting stiffed."
William opened his wallet, pulled out a twenty and handed it across the seat. The driver took it and almost slipped it into his cash box, then took a second look at the bill. His face tightened. "What the hell is this?"
"Huh?"
With the bill stretched between his hands, the cabbie stared at it for a second then looked up at William. "You're either the dumbest counterfeiter who ever lived or you've been had."
"What you are talking about?"
The driver faced the bill toward William but didn't hand it back to him. "It's printed backwards."
William looked at the twenty-dollar bill in the man's hand. It looked like--it was--an almost brand new bill, nothing wrong with it as far as he could tell.
"Get out of my cab," the driver said.
William didn't know what the man was talking about but knew he didn't want to get out. This cab was his only way home. He reached for the twenty. "If you don't like that one I've got another--"
The driver pulled his hands away. "I ain't giving this back. I got to turn it in to the police." He dropped one hand behind his seat back, then came up clutching a pistol, an old German Luger by the looks of it, the muzzle aimed straight at William's face. "In fact, I bet they give me a reward if I bring you in with it."
William jerked the door handle and rolled out into the street. He sprang to his feet and ran, the driver's yells just background noise. Has everyone gone crazy or is it just me?
Home. He had to get home.
* * *
Rain. Driving, relentless rain. William was just two blocks from Fausto's. In two hours, that's as far as he'd gotten--one block an hour. Police cars prowled the neighborhood, shinning spotlights into every nook and cranny, lighting up every shadow. Everyone in Fausto's knew his name. He'd been going there three or four nights a week after work for years. The cabbie had his address. William had given it to him when he told the hack driver where to drop him.
Ten o'clock at night, with nowhere to go and no way to get there, William sat behind the closed Goodwill store, under an overhang that barely kept the rain off of him.
Huddled in the dark, head sunk between his knees, he hadn't heard anyone approach.
"You don't look so good."
Startled, William looked up, prepared to run again. It was the homeless man he'd knocked over outside the bar. The one with the shopping cart and the leathery skin. William relaxed a little. "Excuse me?"
The man pushed his cart closer. "You're not supposed to be here."
William looked around. "Why not?"
The old man grinned, half his teeth gone.
William found it nearly impossible to tell his age. The guy could be forty and maybe had lived a hard life, or perhaps he was a well-preserved seventy, pickled by a lifetime of booze. William waved him off, expecting a plea for money. "I can't help you."
The old man stopped just a few feet away. "Everything's out of place isn't it?" He had a strange lilting voice. Almost like an accent.
And he was right. Everything was out of place--from Johnny Davis to the cab driver--everything was wrong.
Strapped to the back of the old man's shopping cart was a plastic sign about the size of a loaf of bread. William recognized the sign, the words, the colors, the logo of a local supermarket chain, all were familiar to him, but the letters were backward, unreadable.
Rainwater ran down William's face. He pointed to the sign. "Why's it written like that?"
The old man looked at the sign then back at William. "Like what?" he said, then shuffled away behind his basket.
* * *
The rain came down even harder. William slouched in a darkened doorway across the street from Fausto's. Nothing made sense. Everything was messed up, backward, out of whack. Almost like this wasn't his home, like he was a stranger seeing it for the first time.
But that was crazy. He'd grown up here, gone to Brother Martin High School, dated Jenny Underhill who went to Cabrini, lost her to Johnny Davis, then got her back only to lose her again the first year of college to some kid who drove a Mustang. Two years later William married Marge at Saint Luke's. They had two kids.
This town was his home. He recognized it. He knew the people here, Big Johnny and Zeke, the bartender at Fausto's. But things were different, little things. John Davis for one. In trying to help him, the big man had gotten himself killed. That wasn't John Davis--at least not the one William Bailey had known since seventh grade. Everything looked the same but wasn't. Nothing was quite right.
But they knew him--or someone like him.
A strange sensation crept over him that made the hair on the back of his neck rise. Maybe he didn't belong here. Maybe everything wasn't as it appeared. Maybe this wasn't his home. But if that were true, then whose home was it? Another thought, even scarier seeped through his brain. If he was here, who was there--at his home?
Crazy.
William dropped his head into his hands. Just considering such nonsense was a waste of time. Yet, here he was scanning the street, thinking of going back inside Fausto's, back to that mirror.
Not much time to think about it. The bar closed at three AM and it was already two-thirty. When he'd left--run for his life with Big Johnny--most of the mirror was still in the frame hanging on the wall.
Something about that damned mirror.
But Fausto's was dangerous, so a couple of hours ago William had found another mirror. In the men's room of a twenty-four hour gas station. The Chevron on North Rampart.
He had approached it cautiously, afraid he was going mad. As he peered over the sink into the mirror, he saw what he always saw, his own reflection. Holding up his left hand, he looked at the image in the mirror, at the watch strapped to his wrist. He noticed that the man in the mirror wore his watch on his right hand. Just the opposite.
William stood in the gas station bathroom for twenty minutes before he worked up his nerve. Finally, he took a deep breath, leaned back, then slammed his forehead into the dirt-streaked mirror. The glass shattered and cut his head. Blood dribbled off the tip of his nose into the sink. His reflection stared out at him from the other side of the mirror, blood running down his face, too.
I have gone crazy!
So the gas station hadn't worked out. Ducking police cruisers, William had wandered the streets, his head reeling. What was he doing?
On the sidewalk, he found a sopping wet magazine that the wind had blown up against the side of a newspaper machine. The cover caught his eye. He picked it up. It was printed backwards, the letters reversed, words running right to left. The spine was on the right. As he flipped through the pages, he couldn't read a thing. Then William had an idea.
In the bathroom of an all night restaurant he held the wet magazine up to the mirror. Perfect. The reflected image was normal, spine on the left, words running left to right, all the letters printed correctly. He could read it clearly. But what did it mean?
Then he drove his head into that mirror. The glass cracked. Someone walked in, a skinny waiter wearing an apron. He stood gawking as William leaned over the sink with tears of pain filling his eyes.
The waiter looked at the broken mirror, then jabbed a finger at William's bloody forehead. "What the hell are you doing?"
"An accident," he mumbled, pressing his fingers against the fresh cut.
The waiter turned. "I'm calling the cops."
William Bailey ran.
Now he was huddled in the rain staring at Fausto's across the street. Because he had nowhere else to go.
He stood and walked toward Fausto's. When he was halfway across the street, a police car glided around the corner, headlights reflecting off the wet pavement. The cops in no hurry, just cruising. William forced himself to keep walking, not to run. One foot in front of the other. In the downpour, odds were that the cops wouldn't even recognize him.
But they did recognize him.
The police car slid to a stop as its high beams clicked on and its blue strobe lights started popping. Both front doors flew open.
Like a sinner seeking the sanctuary of a church, William ran straight for Fausto's door. As he burst inside, Zeke looked up from behind the bar. "William! What the hell are you doing here?"
He ignored the bartender, running right past him, eyes focused on the broken mirror and its busted frame hanging on the wall.
Zeke again, "The cops been looking all over for you. Say you killed two officers and--"
Behind him the front door banged against the wall. "Police!" a voice behind him commanded. "Stop."
But William didn't stop. He kept running--running straight for the mirror. Reflected in its fragmented pieces he saw two uniformed police officers behind him, heard their boots pounding on the wooden floor. Just ten feet separated him from the mirror. At full speed he took two strides then dove. He stretched his arms out overhead and tucked his chin into his chest as his feet left the floor.
He felt one hand hit wall and the other strike broken glass. Then his head hit. More glass cracked, more skin split.
Darkness.
* * *
William's eyes popped open. He was staring at the ceiling. Rough voices, even rougher hands. They rolled him over onto his stomach and jerked his arms behind his back. He felt cold steel on his wrists and heard the metallic ratcheting as the handcuffs tightened and bit into his skin.
He tilted his head up and rested his chin against the floor. Blood poured down the side of his face; he watched it pool on the floor then seep between the wooden planks. By rolling his eyes up he could just see the empty spot on the wall where the mirror had hung. Lying on the floor, three feet from his head, was the broken frame and the rest of the glass.
The two cops grabbed his arms and yanked him to his feet, sending waves of pain through his shoulders and wrists. As they spun him toward the door, one of the officers said, "You're under arrest."
"Why?" William asked.
The officer pressed his face into William's. "Murdering your family for starters."
"My...my family." William felt his stomach cinch and his bowels turn to ice. A thought he'd had earlier in the night echoed inside his head. If he was here, who was there--at his home.
As the cops dragged him across the floor, William glanced up and saw the rusted metal sign nailed above the door.
OUT.
He was home.
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2023.05.30 22:17 XLunarEclipse18X Can We Sue?
So, my girlfriend works at Panera. She has medical problems once in a while. Including gastrointestinal, PTSD, etc. So she has to call off work to take care of these problems. It was discussed when she was first hired, and the manager said it was completely fine and they can work with it. Well, now the same manager hasn't scheduled her for 4 weeks straight and told everyone that he is permanently cutting her hours because she is sick too often. Not firing her. Just taking all her hours until she quits.
My question is, is there any legal backing for a lawsuit? Because it seems illegal to me that he can take all her hours just because she has to take medical leave once in a while. But idk. We live in the USA, so laws typically favor the rich.
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2023.05.30 22:16 silvy1597 How to enjoy things I used to love and get motivated to workout?
For some reason, I tend to get depressed in the spring and summer. But in 2019, I didn’t. I got into a really good workout routine at a gym and had a good nutrition lifestyle. I worked out at the same time everyday and meal prepped. This lasted for about a year and a half. Now, I hold myself to that standard and compare myself to who I was then. I still go to the same gym, but I can’t get myself to go near as much even though I used to love it and I don’t have motivation to meal prep either. I used to walk everyday and right now, I look outside and it’s a beautiful day, but walking seems pointless. I did do a 20 minute walk today, but got no energy boost out of it. I should mention I am diagnosed bipolar 2 and ADHD and am medicated for both. I was only diagnosed with ADHD about 4 months ago which makes sense to me now. My question is, how do you get yourself back in the routine even when you don’t get excited to do it and don’t have motivation?
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2023.05.30 22:14 notyouravgbelle [NY] How to stand out to hiring managers?
Hello! Would anyone be willing to help a gal out? I have owned and operated a cleaning business for almost a decade. I wear all the hats- sales, appointment setting, client relations, marketing, hiring, training, etc. It has come to fruition that the work I do is actually causing physical issues due to recent medical complications. I am now on the hunt for (hopefully) a WFH job. I have been in the field for 9 years, and while teaching myself many things along the way (marketing, social media, etc), I have lacking skills in computers/programs. So I have two questions-
- What can I include in my resume that will help me stand out as someone who clearly is self-motivated, self-taught and ambitious?
- Are there any training programs one might recommend to help jog my memory/learn new skills in regards to software programs and such?
I know I do not look like an ideal candidate for a WFH job, but I desperately need one, and I’m willing to put in the extra hours to train myself and learn whatever I need to learn to help me get that job. I have sent in tons of resumes and applications. I received one response back for a quick video of me answering questions, but then was passed over for another more qualified candidate. So I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and down about what to do to help myself. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thank you!
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2023.05.30 22:11 robmichaelfield UK - Advice for Disabled Father
Hi all, first time here so apologies if this post breaks any rules.
I'm nearly 30 now and have been living on my own for nearly 10 years and in that time my dad has been blighted by a disability causing him to lose the use of his legs. As tragic as it is, it was always manageable because he had the support of our mother.
It's been nearly half a year since she had a breakdown and was permanently hospitalized due to dementia. Her absence has been huge, and most noticeable in the care my father receives. For some context, my father has always been a very unclean man and that's been a contact all of my life. He's great, but he has never understood hygiene, even when he was well. My mum was always single factor keeping the house in liveable conditions.
Since she's been gone, I've been the only one in a position to really step up and help out financially. I've temporarily moved home to try and help him gain some independence but I'm just losing hope. It's important to remember here that he is, by nature, a very piggish man, even before the disability. So I try to approach the problem to tackle the accessibility issues: I'm trying to make cleaning as easy as possible for him and remove any barriers. I paid for a private occupational therapist who was great and fast-tracked some nursing which he now receives every morning - they come and make breakfast and give him a wash (he typically refuses the wash, but I'm sure as his confidence grows he'll do it more often). I've seen some real progress in the accessibility of the house and his outlook. I do not, however, see any progress in the cleanliness of the house. And please don't read this as me putting a disabled man down - this isn't just leaving things on the floor because he obviously can't reach it - it's the kind of mess which is a genuine health concern. I hired cleaners last month and they charged me double because they claimed the house was in such a dire state. I am not exaggerating, the house was almost back to an absolute state almost a whole week after the deep clean.
It's unsustainable. I'm trying my hardest but I just can't keep up. I cannot be his full-time nurse, and even if I was, he creates too much mess for me to keep up with anyway. He'll make a slice of toast and leave the opened bag of bread on the floor next to the bin and the butter will stay open without a lid for a week, with flies and mould around it as he continues to use it. This isn't just his disability but his mindset. I've typed too much and feel like I'm ranting now, and some of this was therapeutic for me, so thank you for taking the time to read because I'm really struggling stay calm and patient with him.
I think the ultimate point of this post is to ask for any advice - has anybody been in similar situations? What can I do not just to make it easier for him, but for him to want to do it? Full-time care is off the table as the nurses believe he's capable of looking after himself, which I believe is also true. I think having a large, accessible bin for the kitchen would work well too, maybe something electric. Just any advice would be great, thanks.
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2023.05.30 22:08 mintsu_ Ideas for a Software Engineer
Hey! I'm an entry level Software Engineer and like others, would like some extra cashflow on the side. My work is hybrid with 1-2 days in office per week. I've already looked through the other posts regarding other Software Engineers for some recommendations.
My skills and knowledge is within software development, so ideally I want to lean towards that knowledge for a side hustle. I've thoroughly considered most of the ideas that were recommended. Here's my thoughts:
- Tutoring - I plan on signing up on some websites. There's competition but I can overlook that, as long as I get started. It's extremely flexible and I can charge my own rates. My only concern is I have no experience with tutoring.
- Mentoring - Like tutoring, there's a few services out there that provide mentors. This could be related for their learning, career, mock interviews, etc. I'm currently a mentor with my employer, helping other new hires and interns.
- Freelancing / Consulting - I would love to get into this eventually. My biggest flaw is my lack of experience. I am also not a subject-matter expert. This would change over time so I'm still holding onto this idea.
- Creating my own Apps - I've heavily considered both mobile and game development for the last few months. My background is within developing websites so I'd have to pick up a new skillset if I want to venture out into mobile or gamedev. I have quite low faith in this one but I'm still considering it.
- Creating my own SASS - Similar to creating my own apps, the feasibility seems quite low. I'd probably have a better chance with this one. Ideas are cheap and execution is key. There has yet to be an idea I feel passionate about. Also, I'm still considering this one.
- Content Creation / Tutorials / Courses - My thought process is similar to the freelancing idea. My professional experience is still lacking. I also don't want to fall into the stereotype of being another one of those teaching others how to code and profiting.
I prefer to rely on my background but I am open minded. I could learn something new, but I want to at least enjoy it. Some common side hustles I've seen are UbeLyft/DoorDash, Etsy, and Social Media Marketing, but that doesn't entice me that much. I currently do have a dividend portfolio bringing in some cash flow and I'll continue building on that over time.
I know I have somewhat of a list already, I just want to see if there's anything else I could have missed. I prefer something online. Both active and passive income are fine. I'm willing to put in about 15-20 hours per week. Thanks in advance!
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2023.05.30 22:05 imhyperer Alternatives to Aimovig?
Hi all, I have a question and figured the people in this sub would possibly have some advice! I was on Aimovig for a few years, and it was like a godsend; I went from near daily migraines to only having like 3-5 a month. Last year however, I immigrated to New Zealand (was living in the states) and due to how insurance and public healthcare is here, Aimovig is nearly $600-700 per injection, which I simply cannot afford. In the states my insurance tried putting me on Emgality since it was cheaper, but I ended up having adverse reactions to it and was put back on Aimovig. My migraines have been back in full swing, and I need to go back to the doctor. I was curious if anyone has advice on other medications I should look into; obviously I will go with what the doctor thinks is best, but was just wondering if there are any similar to Aimovig that I should have on mind?
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2023.05.30 22:02 viviwrldfroggie question about interview
hi, i apologize in advance if this sounds like a stupid question, but i had an interview nearing 2 weeks now and the hiring manager told me that he’d get back to me in a week (this was on a friday). conveniently, he walked into my place of work that following monday and then proceeded to tell me that he’d have an answer for me soon. ive been lurking on this sub for a while and before finding out that a week in panera terms meant during the weekday, i thought my week of getting a response back was over with but today, is when the week is supposed to end from what the manager told me. ive been constantly checking my email but no response at all. so to everyone here, is it plausible to think i didn’t get the job and to move on from it?
also, i did call the store last friday to hear any update with the application status but he wasn’t there and someone else took the call and told me that they’d leave the message for him to get to and that was last friday at 3. i also understand that they’re a high volume store so i’ve been waiting for any chance to get back to me but now im having concerns.
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2023.05.30 22:01 robmichaelfield UK - Advice for disabled father
Hi all, first time here so apologies if this post breaks any rules.
I'm nearly 30 now and have been living on my own for nearly 10 years and in that time my dad has been blighted by a disability causing him to lose the use of his legs. As tragic as it is, it was always manageable because he had the support of our mother.
It's been nearly half a year since she had a breakdown and was permanently hospitalized due to dementia. Her absence has been huge, and most noticeable in the care my father receives. For some context, my father has always been a very unclean man and that's been a contact all of my life. He's great, but he has never understood hygiene, even when he was well. My mum was always single factor keeping the house in liveable conditions.
Since she's been gone, I've been the only one in a position to really step up and help out financially. I've temporarily moved home to try and help him gain some independence but I'm just losing hope. It's important to remember here that he is, by nature, a very piggish man, even before the disability. So I try to approach the problem to tackle the accessibility issues: I'm trying to make cleaning as easy as possible for him and remove any barriers. I paid for a private occupational therapist who was great and fast-tracked some nursing which he now receives every morning - they come and make breakfast and give him a wash (he typically refuses the wash, but I'm sure as his confidence grows he'll do it more often). I've seen some real progress in the accessibility of the house and his outlook. I do not, however, see any progress in the cleanliness of the house. And please don't read this as me putting a disabled man down - this isn't just leaving things on the floor because he obviously can't reach it - it's the kind of mess which is a genuine health concern. I hired cleaners last month and they charged me double because they claimed the house was in such a dire state. I am not exaggerating, the house was almost back to an absolute state almost a whole week after the deep clean.
It's unsustainable. I'm trying my hardest but I just can't keep up. I cannot be his full-time nurse, and even if I was, he creates too much mess for me to keep up with anyway. He'll make a slice of toast and leave the opened bag of bread on the floor next to the bin and the butter will stay open without a lid for a week, with flies and mould around it as he continues to use it. This isn't just his disability but his mindset. I've typed too much and feel like I'm ranting now, and some of this was therapeutic for me, so thank you for taking the time to read because I'm really struggling stay calm and patient with him.
I think the ultimate point of this post is to ask for any advice - has anybody been in similar situations? What can I do not just to make it easier for him, but for him to want to do it? Full-time care is off the table as the nurses believe he's capable of looking after himself, which I believe is also true. I think having a large, accessible bin for the kitchen would work well too, maybe something electric. Just any advice would be great, thanks.
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accessibility [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 21:58 Constant_One_3511 Feel like a huge failure adult-child even though im trying my best
Rant time. Im almost 21 and feel like i’m a total failure in every aspect of my life. i’ve suffered from anxiety and depression since I was around 11 years old and even though it goes up and down right now I feel like I might an okay-ish place mentally. I got my GED a year ago but haven’t been able to hold down a job for a few reasons for at least two years. I was the passenger in a car accident where I lost some of my hearing and had to stay overnight in the hospital. since then I have been such an anxious driver and do everything possible to avoid it although this past year I have been going up and down and getting better at it. that is one of the huge reasons I am unable to hold down a job. Another reason is my terrible social anxiety. trying to find a job that isn’t too far away isn’t super social and where I get the weekends if not one day a weekend off to match my partners schedule feels nearly impossible. i’ve had a handful of interviews where I am honest about the hours that I desire, they still want me to come in an interview after knowing this yet don’t hire me and don’t even give me the courtesy of letting me know they’ve chosen other candidates unless I reach out after the fact. I try and get family members or my partner to help me practice driving but it never seems to go anywhere because they’re either too busy or too tired. it’s annoying because they act like they want to help me yet when it comes to this huge part of me getting better I can’t seem to get anyone to assist. even though I’m trying my best my partner likes to be passive aggressive and act like I’m not trying at all. What really pisses me off about it is that they’re the one that was driving when the accident happened so I know I can’t outright say it but it feels like it’s their fault I have all this anxiety towards driving yet they get on my ass about not being able to drive. I have an appointment scheduled with an advisor at a community college to get me enrolled in schooling for an associates in dental hygiene and I’m really excited about that yet again it seems like it’s not enough to the people around me. another thing that weighs on me heavily and affects me day-to-day is how much I hate my appearance. I know it’s such a shallow and unimportant thing but it feels like the most important thing in the world and it’s terrible. I was virtually cheated on by my partner for the first two years of our currently five year relationship. I have decided to try and move past it and just let it be as they were immature and young and probably feeling bad about themselves I know that’s no excuse but if I’m going to try and work past this I need to try and make sure I let myself know it’s not my fault even though it’s not really working right now. Im thin and feel like I don’t fit the standard beauty of a woman since I’m not curvy and it’s just very hard to try and convince my self i’m attractive to my partner. I just want to grow up. I want to have a job and be able to drive to my job and be able to move out and get an apartment and just be happy with myself but it feels like I will never attain it. I just feel like a failure in every aspect of life and I feel like I’m trying so hard to change it yet I’m getting nowhere.
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Vent [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 21:56 BDKoolwhip Quit on my 90th day (2 year old story)
I work in social work. I have been working in the field for over a decade. I had moved an hour plus from where I was working to be closer to my GF. I drove back and forth for a year or so but it wasn’t worth it financially anymore.
I found and eventually interviewed for a job 20 mins from where I lived and honestly, fell ‘in love’ with the person who would be my direct boss. The interview was 2 hours long because we got sidetracked or distracted. She hired me on the spot because of my experience and personality alone. She told me she would need a ‘right hand’ and I would be it. I took a dollar pay cut but with the distance is actually be making more. Plus there was a sign on bonus after 90 days
I start the job and there are a few bumps but nothing major to worry about. I had to prove myself to existing staff some who thought they should be in my position but weren’t for various reasons. This were okay. Which in social work is what you want. I shortly find out the place I work for has a bad reputation.
Pretty close to my 90 days (maybe 75-80? It was the holiday time so hard to recall) my boss tells me she is leaving for a non clinical social work supervisor job and if she can get me in would I want to. I tell her I would but I’d like to try to get her job first. My boss offers to go with me to go to the big boss about it. Big boss is concerned about my lack of management exp (which I have plenty) but then says we really don’t have anybody else, so yea on a ‘trail basis’ do 30 days. Also discussed is my own office and a pay increase both which my current boss had, but my office would be moved.
My direct boss leaves for her new job and almost the same day, promises are taken back. I no longer ‘need’ an office and pay will start when my ‘trail run’ is over, ect.
After talking with my GF, and now former boss, I rode it out the remaining 90 days and on the 90th day I spent it packing up my shared workspace and sending an email to the ENTIRE company my resignation letter as well as the various shouts of fraud and unprofessional things I had seen go on, I also named names. After everyone else left I sent the email placed everything that belonged to the company in front of my work space and walked out. No 2 weeks, nothing
Less than 10 days later I started working where my old/current boss went to, non clinical and it was absolutely the right call. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I was supposed to meet my boss. Also, the owner of the company we work for plans to move my boss up and me into her position by the end of the year. I remain skeptical but am told things aren’t mentioned unless they happen so…..
TLDR- moved, found a closer job, it sucked, promises were made and then taken away when it was to late. Walked out on 90th day
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2023.05.30 21:51 abz_of_st33l Lots of withdrawal posts here but I’m a mess and I need to talk about it
Hi guys, I’ve been on pristiq for about a year now. I’ve been taking it alongside Wellbutrin and adderall. My psychiatrist and I have been trying to find the best solution for me but pristiq seems to work better than some other things. I stopped the adderall two weeks ago because we were going to try concerta per my insurance’s recommendation but the pharmacy has been back ordered. I’m not heavily dependent on the adderall so I was okay to wait for the concerta.
Well I unexpectedly ran out of pristiq a couple days ago and wasn’t able to do anything about it due to the holiday weekend. (I usually have a few bottles available at a time and have never run out completely.) I was doing alright but last night randomly started feeling dizzy and sick. I blamed it on the fact that I went on a spinny ride even though I usually enjoy them.
This morning I woke up and walked around a bit and realized I was having that dizzy feeling I’ve gotten on days when I forgot to take my meds. Got super irritated with my husband because he tried to say I should have sorted this out sooner, but he thought I was talking about the adderall/concerta situation. I got irrationally angry and got after him for blaming me for not filling a prescription on a holiday weekend. Called the pharmacy and they don’t seem to have it and my old pharmacy needs to contact my doctor. I called the doctor and the receptionist tried the pharmacy but they’re on lunch. I’m just sitting here crying and suffering from being brought to only one medication when I’m used to being on three. Googling pristiq and it seems to be sort of dangerous to stop cold turkey?
Idk guys I’m just not feeling well at all and I’m supposed to go teach a class in two hours and I feel so sick. Feel free to comment with your experiences and if anything helped. I’m just waiting for the psychiatrist’s office to call me back and hopefully get this taken care of. Just want some support :’)
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2023.05.30 21:50 eastbro I get panic attacks on register
Rant post. I was hired in a few years ago as a cashier and every day was super stressful. I'm high anxiety and nearly every day I'd have panic attacks. I BEGGED them to let me switch departments, and they ignored me for MONTHS until during the peak of covid, we were struggling with staffing and I threatened to quit if they didn't let me switch departments. So they did finally and I feel a lot better in my new department. But they still call me up to register sometimes. I told them I am not willing to work register anymore as it's a detriment to my mental health and this job doesn't pay me enough to stand there in panic mode and deal with people one on one. I told them that I would be willing to help out in ANY department when my department isn't busy, but not register, and they ignore me. For a while I was the main one they would call up, too, because I'm fast and for whatever reason they were refusing to train new people on lane so I was always the first pick. I'm not first pick anymore but they do still call me up. I keep telling them that being on register literally makes me panic even if there isn't anything going on and that I don't want to do it. Yet they still call for me. I've told my TL that if they continue I will walk out. I'm considering quitting because of the disrespect. I know the rules (if there isn't anything to do, go on register) but I don't care. This job doesn't pay me enough for that stress. I could walk across the street and start out making more than I make here and I'm capped. The only reason I stay is because this is my first job and I'm scared to move on.
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meijer [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 21:47 F01i3aD3ux Advice please :)
Hi everyone! First time posting on here and would love some advice. I’ll start off with the looming question: how do you know when it’s time to see a fertility specialist, as opposed to just being seen by your OBGYN?
Background: I’ve been trying for nearly one year, and just got my OB involved about 4 months ago. She’s done bloodwork (happy to provide more numbers on those results), checked TSH levels (normal), etc. Basically, since I was 12 I only had about 2-3 periods a year. Went on oral birth control for 14 years, came off and still no periods. OB said my bloodwork did not entirely signal PCOS but could rather just be anovulation and amenorrhea.
She has since put me on Provera (I passed the Provera challenge in January). I did not subsequently ovulate. So, my next round of Provera-induced period cycle, I took Letrozole. I did not ovulate until one full month later. The same thing happened this month as well - ovulating one full month after my period, even on these medications. I just ovulated a few days ago, so I’m going to wait to decide next steps until after the TWW.
We do not use trigger shots, IUI, and she has not done any scans or ultrasounds.
Should I consider seeing a specialist?
Also - does anyone have experience with insurance coverage of infertility specialists with Kaiser insurance? Thank you everyone!
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2023.05.30 21:46 kylexyz001 23 [M4F] [Relationship] Ohio/Worldwide- Let's Be Each Other's Everything (Longest post ever?)
Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like:
https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t (5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!
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kylexyz001 to
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2023.05.30 21:46 throwaway_458062 AITA for asking my (27F) partner (23M) to provide proof he was going to therapy?
My partner and I live about 8 hours apart from each other, so unfortunately we are long distance. We play a lot of video games together and he has a beyond awful temper. Im talking really big bad outbursts where he says awful things and triggers a lot of my PTSD, as well as made the rest of our group want to be no where near him when he was online. I explained to him that if this between us was going to work he needed to go to therapy. He said he would and i told him that I would like some sort or confirmation that he was going. While I want to trust him that he's actually going, I have been betrayed and liwd too in the past so its exceedingly hard for me to just blindly trust people unless i see difinitove proof. He TOLD me that it wasnt an issue and something he would be more than willing to do. I told him i wasnt looming for anythung medical just the name of the practice, a phone number, appointment reminder card ANYTHING. He told me that this specific clinic give a summary of the session as a printout at the end of every session so he would show me that.
Well... time goes on and the first hiccup hits. He tells me that the appointment was changed from in person to virtual and that the summary was turned into a printable form to download from their website. He doesnt have a printer at home so he said he would go to the public library. After another few days of waiting he come back and tells me that its "against patient confidentiality" to print at the library and he wouldnt break the law for me. He promised me he would find a way and i gave him the benefit of the doubt because im REALLY trying to work on my trust issues... A few more weeks go by and i gently inquire about it again and he blows up. Saying that I will never trust him even if he did what i had asked i would never trust him and that he stopped looking for ways to do what i had asked because "we got better" He called me a controlling asshole who needs to get over it so now i need to know... AITA?
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throwaway_458062 to
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2023.05.30 21:46 AskMeAboutMyWiener_ I'm looking to make a change in the place I work. But torn up about leaving my co-workers stranded.
Leaving out some key identifying information to keep this as anonymous as possible.
I work for a consulting company that has me on a project right now where the site is located 4.5 hours away from the main office. This project requires me to drive 4.5 hours to the site Monday morning, work on site 3 days, then drive 4.5 hours back home Wednesday evening. I've been at this for nearly 10 months so far, with ~5 months left in our contract. You can see how this may wear down on me and my home-life in general.
On top of this, our company was bought out by an international conglomerate-like company and is making changes to policies and hierarchies. The leader of the division I work under has already put his 2-weeks notice in and left our 12 employee division in the dust; to get merged into a separate team headed by this new company (the one that bought us out). This division leader had built this division (sister-company) from the ground up and mostly ran the entire show of how we operated. So he was an irreplaceable cog in the machine - which is why the company is not looking to continue growing our division and has decided just to merge us somewhere else in the company. All of these factored into my decision to start looking elsewhere. I've enjoyed my time here, but things look to be changing in a bad direction.
I've been in contact with a couple of different companies already that I have scheduled interviews with and show interest in hiring me, and I am very hopeful that I'd be able to find a place to work and not skip a beat as far as dependable income. My moral dilemma comes in the specifics of the project I am working on:
- As I mentioned this project is far-isolated from the main office (4.5 hours). And there is only 1 other employee working part-time on the project (at a higher rate than mine). I don't believe my boss would be able to find someone to replace me internally, and would have to bust his ass to hire and train someone for this.
- My boss on this project has continually checked in on me and made sure that my time is covered under all the new company changes. Trying his best to make sure my work isn't impeded - which is a gesture I appreciate, and weighs on my conscious as I have plans to leave in the near future. In my eyes I'd be leaving him high and dry after he put in the effort to provide me with job security. And more than that he is a good person and a good boss, someone I wouldn't like to burn the bridge with.
- The other employee working on the project has run way over the allotted budget and will likely not have enough time left to finish out to the contract date. Leaving me as the sole employee that would be working on the project for the last 3 or so months. Leaving me to think, even if we hired someone to fill my role, how in the hell are they supposed to come and finish out this job with minimal training and no help?
I have gotten advice from as many people as I could and the answer is usually: "Secure a job offer and then give your boss 2 or 3 week notice - it's just business, do what's best for you." Do you guys think the same? After my boss has put his best foot forward trying to get this project to the finish line - is it normal in the business world for me to just be like "Alright I'm outta here, good luck!"? I have tried to take some comfort in the fact that my boss could sympathize with my situation, and he would have the same mindset like "it's just business". But it still doesn't sit right with me. What do you guys think?
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2023.05.30 21:43 SignificantDrawing39 My Psychiatrist has prescribed me Viagra due to difficulty with orgasming while on Lexapro.
I found this odd but he told me we will never know if we don’t try it.
Has anyone have positive experiences with sildenafil and lexapro = an orgasm ?
For extra context im 23, i have no issues with erectile function but anorgasmia is an issue. Sometimes being a 9/10 difficulty orgasming or sometimes I’m unable to orgasm.
He prescribed 15mg, im on 10mg Lexapro.
Also how often should i take it ? I have sex nearly everyday is it dangerous taking it everyday ? My psychiatrist did not educate much on how to use the medication.
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SignificantDrawing39 to
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2023.05.30 21:42 delmarman 2022 started it and 2023 has been the worst year of my life. It's all declining & I don't see a way out
I've struggled with depression all my life yadda yadda.
Getting Covid, missing a vacation (that the rest of my family went on), and the loss of my uncle last November to cancer.
At the same time realizing that I am unfortunately not cisgendered, it's impossible to deny that at the least I am nonbinary if not trans. Was already part of the LGBTQ+ community in being gay and now I get to struggle with even more confusion.
I start taking zoloft at around this time. My father and brother both take it and have had some success.
Working through all of that. December go spend Christmas with my partner's family in a different state & immediately fall ill to a stomach parasite, giardiasis. A stomach parasite which I had years ago in college, and having it before made me more susceptible. No idea where it came from but I got it.
I get the pleasure of shitting myself multiple nights in a row during Christmas time along with some vomiting here and there. Near the end of the vacation my entire partner's family knows how sick I am & about literally everything I've gone through.
Return to work in January after securing a new rental house with my partner and cousin. Never did like my job in tax and it became much more demanding as it was my second year. I struggle with my work I struggle with everything.
My partner and I fought multiple times over the past few months and were both exhibiting toxic traits. We love eachother so much but I am so, so bad at understanding myself and the moment something goes wrong I always want to bury my head in the sand.
I had always smoked weed recreationally but my consumption goes way up in January and beyond. My work was fortunately hybrid remote - we started receiving many more hires and the office was full many days. Sometimes I didn't have a choice but to work from home. I hated my job so much and any work for it made me miserable. I take a lung-busting dab to make it more tolerable for me. Rinse repeat.
It's not hard for me to WFH 3 out of 5 days. On the days I go into work you best believe I am starting the day with a dab, showering, and then taking another dab before I drive in to work. And you know the first thing I would go to when I got home from work.
After a few disciplinary calls due to poor work performance I get fired somewhat unexpectedly on May 9th. I never did see a future for my job, could never be fucked to do anything more than the bare minimum required to do the job. There goes my first job out of college, my "career", my 74k a year paying job with all those nice benefits I'll never have again.
Since then I've been trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing. I was happier at first because I really hated my job. But I have no ambition or passion for much of anything.
My mom tried to offer me another accounting style job at her school which I initially was interested in. But I talked about it with my partner and he gave the perspective of - when shit hits the fan and you have to make a decision and pick yourself up, do you work and grow or take a handout? I was told by my therapist that him thinking this way is a growth mindset. Anyways I poorly told my mom I didn't want to do it after essentially psyching her out and being flippy floppy as I always am. She's not happy with it and I feel a distance to my family right now.
My partner and I are doing better. He's going to therapy too finally, I've been at it for years although it may be hard to believe and finally he's on it too. He's in a good spot right now but I don't think he knows that I still feel this way.
The people nearby don't listen to me much anymore. I talk a lot, I always have had a lot of words and a brain that is overactive perhaps. I can talk a lot and I get that it drowns others out so I'll be quiet. A lot of the times the things I talk about aren't interesting to people anyways, and I often lose the fight in trying to be heard in any conversation. The voice that is always missed and not heard is mine, it feels like.
The interests I have, the things I like to talk about, the people around me don't engage in it as much anymore as they're growing tired. My tendency to ask questions and want to talk about things, and sure sometimes I'm not perfect. My partner told me that this housemate said they're not going to respond to me when I ask questions like that anymore. So I'll just keep my mouth shut.
The games and interests I try to spread and suggest to others, no real interest or desire. I voice myself when we try to find things to do or suggest ideas when we want things to do and they don't seem appealing to others. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
I've told everyone about my pronouns, about not wanting to identify as a man anymore or be referred to as one. And it still happens all the time in my home. Good man, are you a man?
It just really feels like nothing wants me to be here. I can't kill myself though I don't have the courage. I have a bunch of hydromorphone from a tonsillectomy last year. I could down that whole bottle and I just know it would do me in. And what stops me is the inevitable pain and the fact that I probably would regret it, statistically most people do. I tried one hydomorphone pill for ??? reason recently and it gave me stomach pains.
So if I really did want to end it all, which I probably don't, it would need to be a gun. Immediate. I would feel horrible for those around me, so yes it probably would end in a note on my desk, me turning off all my location services. Driving into a local forest or mountain range. Hopefully that way it doesn't have to be my family or loved ones that find me, just a random unlucky stranger.
It won't happen, I don't have the courage. Sadly enough that doesn't make me feel any better. All this to be such a victim. I love being a victim as you can tell.
I don't know, I just feel like I lived my life trying really hard to be courteous, nice and notice things about others. I hate being unheard, I hate being chosen last, I hate trying to speak up in a conversation and being ran over by others who talk louder and more determinedly. I try to consider aspects of them and I'm not perfect, one of my huge issues was taking my partner for granted and I'm working on it.
I'm really trying to work and grow and am still pursuing therapy, biweekly, but I've stopped taking zoloft as of this sunday. Idk. I'm still having all these thoughts and fuck, I started taking zoloft while working at my piece of shit job. I'm tired of having to worry about when I take it, about forgetting. I'm tired about feeling naseous and worrying I'm not eating enough when I take it because it does make me throw up.
Idk at the end of the day the creeping feeling that the misery I'm in, this whole situation I'm in, is my fault. I could have worked a lot harder, I could have chosen to not take some of these occurrences personally, I could have laughed in the face of despair and worked out of it instead.
But instead I'm unemployed. I think the version of me that my surroundings want is a quieter me. One with less fantasy and imagination. One that keeps to themselves and doesn't pitch in or incite. Just sitting and being there. And idk I don't think I can be that person, but being told the way I am now is bad or wrong is just making me want to completely hide myself away like I always do.
The people in my life obviously have to walk around eggshells around me in regards to what they can say and can't say. I'm so bad at taking any critique because I get insanely defensive and view any comment as an attack. It's almost impossible for me to not want to give some form of attitude. At my worst I just suck. I take it personally when it really isn't. Wish I wasn't like that either.
Idk I'm just writing at this point. Don't worry I won't KMS. But anything you can say to help would by nice I guess
TL;DR : My life has been on a steady decline due to mistakes of my own making. I got fired from my job and have no ambition or grindset to return. It doesn't feel like the people in my life want me around and they don't respect my recent gender struggles. I'm too scared of the pain of ending my life so I just wallow and fail at the things I try to do. This has been the worst year of my life and if something horrible happened to me I would be happy it was my last.
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delmarman to
SuicideWatch [link] [comments]