I am an extremely active 32F. I am an average weight and spend around 6 days of the week at the gym. I do everything! I do cycling, weight lifting, machines, floor exercises, yoga. I have a personal trainer I see once a week to help me with the correct form.
Around 6 months ago I noticed I began having some lower back pain and stiffness, especially after walking long distances or bending over too much. I visited a physical therapist who told me it looked like a "stability" issue (my core was weak while the rest of me wasn't) and advised me to do core strengthening exercises, so I've been adding those onto my workouts.
However, I still had back pain, so today I finally went to an urgent care center to ask for an exam and an X-Ray. Imagine my surprise when I was diagnosed with scoliosis (my spine curves slightly to the left) as well as osteoarthritis in the lower back where the curve is. The diagnosis notes say that there's very minimal joint damage, and the doctor said that I can "reverse" said joint damage with resting. She said no more working out unless it's walking because I could make my damage worse.
She specifically recommended not going to the gym for 6-8 weeks and then seeing the physical therapist 3x a week. I spend so much time in the gym that I am terrified what this prolonged bed rest could do to my body.
However, as far as I know, it's not possible to reverse arthritis once its set in is it? I'm thinking of going for a second opinion. Not working out anymore seems like it would make things worse. But I also don't want to make it worse by continuing to work out. The doctor told me that if I keep overusing these joints, I could end up actually disabled, so I'm pretty scared now.
As far as I knew, I was a healthy, fit person who just happened to sometimes have some back stiffness. Now I'm in my early 30s with an arthritis diagnosis and an order for bed rest or else I risk disability.
I have no idea what to even do.

(Trigger warning, emotional abuse, health care neglect, gaslighting, a very incoherent post)
It started with my doctor not wanting to give me urgent care for therapy after I told him repeatedly that I was thinking about ending my life every day. "We can't ask for urgency unkess you are gonna jump in front of a train right now!," and then after I said I cannot have a crisis team over at my house due to the abuse at home, he said "well the abuse is in the past." And when I asked him about how I would like to GO to the crisis team myself and for them to not come at my house, he said "It is not a hotel, it does not work like that." And while I was crying and sobbing to him, telling him I have no idea what to do because I do not think I can make it until the end of the year, he said "I can't do anything about it." I walked out and he did not give a fuck. I spiraled completely and felt sick for 3 days.
I posted the incident on Reddit and one person had the audacity to say "You come off as being emotionally manipulative, probably due to your desperation and workers can sense that and not take you seriously." It pissed me off because I felt like I was being a gaslighter to my doctor and that it was my fault.
Again, I posted about my stress and worries and how I felt hatred towards my mother who is now hyper supportive of my cousin who is going through the same abuse I did as a kid, and calling it all out. It triggered me and I posted about how my niece showing up at our house constantly triggered me and how I started to feel hatred towards them, which was misplaced because it is actually towards my mother but I made that very clear in the posts that I emotionally support my cousin and would NEVER stand silently towards the abuse. (We have called cps many times, and have done it again and they are being emotionally supported by my mother, me and siblings) Someone said I was complacent in someone else's abuse and that I need to "work on my issues of hating a child," because the commentor had people stand by while they were abused. I made it very clear we never thought any of this is okay, it was just a vent. But putting me on the same level as someone who "accepts abuse" was just...not okay. They apologised, but it still made me think I was the abuser, like I was gaslighting and I was the problem. I talk to them on the phone everytime something hapoens and tell them. "You are worthy, you have value, you fucking matter and no one can tell you otherwise. The things that are happening to you are not your fault, and who you are from the inside is a kind, loving, strong person that has too much stuff on their plate. You fucking matter!" Basically telling them all the shit I was never told, but somehow I still feel disgusted with the emotions I had before due to that one commentor, even after I told them we are doing EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER to stop what is happening.
It has kind of been a pattern with psychiatrists, doctors and just random acclaimed "smart people," to either take my moms side, insult me at my lowest or just be disrespectful. And through all of this I can only think:
"Well, people who are actually abused and mistreated are way more quiet and not as angry or flamy in their posts, you ARE the problem." Which I know is just my trauma talking, but why are people so confortable making assumptions about other people's intentions. My inner voice is very tiny due to years of abuse, so whenever these things happen, I feel like I am suffocating.
I know I should probably go off Reddit, but it is the only support I have. So I wonder if any of yall have experienced that in this sub specifically. (I deleted all those posts because I felt evil posting it, despite those comments having been downvoted by the community.)
And even know I feel like people will judge me and say I am the problem or an ass for posting all of this and not having the "acceptable" and "softer" emotions of someone who has been abused. And how I should fight every battle, mistreatment and issue in the world or else I am an abuser and emotionally manipulative.

So a last time I posted a message on here I talked about how I was separating with the idea to work on myself and that my partner could get help and therapy they needed for their own problems. I wanted to touch base on my experiences from this decision.
Separated and moved in April and have felt somewhat better, obviously the bad days occur and what not, but for the most part it has been good for me. I have tried to keep some contact with WP like we both wanted but they have said it is hard for them to talk to me. I've been in therapy and have been writing again which I think are both good things. They have been in therapy and even extensive therapy for a few weeks to deal with their own issues.
Focusing on myself has been hard as they are on my mind a lot. I feel as though more now than before we separated. We have talked about these feelings but they don't really want to be a part of the conversation when we talk about these things. They feel sad and alone, and can't really function a lot outside of working and taking care of their cat. (Which is where most of our conversations start) I like talking to them but seeing them everyday was harder for me.
I want to be supportive and what not but I also know that I need to focus on me. The conversations really only turn into them regretting not caring about how I feel because they were so sad at the time of DDay and there after.
I know this sub is for people who try to make things work out and reconcile but for those that struggle converersing, how do you really get to the point of the separation and stick to working on yourself. I don't want to do NC with them, and still want to be a part of their life. I just dont know why it's hard to be a goal setter after the fact?
I know this is more of a rant than a straight update, but I don't want to deter people from interacting with this post or having animosity for the post not being about a successful reconciliation.

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

So the school year is coming to an end. I just found out this week that my kids are having graduations. My daughters is just small get together as it’s a lower grade and I put in the request to a vacation (still waiting for the results but since there was a spot open I should get it).
My other child has a grade 8 graduation need tickets to attend and a bit of a bigger deal or at least it was for me when I was in school. He’s in Jr high so I don’t know if it’s as big a deal as I remember also where I grew up we didn’t have Jr high. Anyway his graduation fell on a week that everyone usually requests off.
My ex and I are separated and my kids usually see me ever second weekend. I wanted to be there for the graduation. I know I personally didn’t actually care about the graduation ceremony when I was in school but I was aware my parents were psyched for it so I still understood the importance for them.
Advised one of my bosses about it and she totally understands and said not to fill out a request for vacation as it will be denied and just call in saying I will be absent and things will be fine. Slight attendance infraction but it’s not to much of a big deal especially considering I’m rarely absent.
After work I decided to talk go HR about anything that could be done in regards to it. I forgot that HR only cares about you if your problem is about something that isn’t directly the company. If it’s the company they will do everything in their power to keep you fucked over. They told me that if a vacation can’t be booked because there are no spots available that if there is ANY reason you are not working that day that you are the one at fault. I know that is somewhat a lie because if I’m sick and get a doctor note it would be non-culpable absence.
I asked what would happen if I don’t show up as this is important for me and my kids. She said I would be at fault and I told her my attendance is usually great so it shouldn’t be a big issue if I have that happen to me.
So I’m still going to my kids graduation. Told my Ex to get a ticket.
Don’t you love how you can be with a company for close to a decade have only taken 2 vacation days so far (we do have 2 weeks of shutdown so I’m not working all the time.). Also only missed 13 days due to illness in all this time. 5 of them was due to covid and 3 were due to the legally allowed paid days off for the vaccines. So that’s only 5 culpable absences in almost 10 years and only taken 15 working days off. Been denied a few days in the past as everyone snatches up the summer days. It’s first come first serve and since I don’t know when I need time off I tend to leave it to chance. Only reason I do this now is because this is a one time thing for my kid.

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.**(6)Expectations of You (Relationship Only):**I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

Source: https://iphone-gratuit.net/blog/good-times-2023-38/
More Memes at :
https://rextester.com/UUAUI94732
https://yamcode.com/provision-of-critical-care-at-salmon-arm-hospital-in-jeopardy-doctor-warns-k
https://yamcode.com/biden-on-memorial-day-lauds-generations-of-fallen-us-troops-who-dared-all-and-26

Our 2 year old babygirl is in the hospital as I type ❤️ Since her quality of life is rapidly declining, we had two options, get her the surgery, or euthanize her. She has complete paralysis in her two back legs and doctors are working around the clock to get her the care she needs. Please help us raise enough funds to save our girl. More of our story is explained in the link. Thank you from all of us!

Heyo, going to try and summarize this to my best ability. I'm on mobile so it might be a lil funky here and there.
For the past four months I've been experiencing abdominal pain to the right of my belly button and it's slowly getting worse. In the beginning months it was bearable and was a quick sharp pain. As time went on the pain would last and hang around longer each time. I've been able to rest for the past week which helps but I am unable to do any sorts of long walking without my pain spiking up to a 5-8.
It took me awhile to fully understand what triggered it but so far it seems to be fast food, stress, alcohol, and excessive walking(I cut fast food and alcohol).
I've been in and out of the immediate care, ER, my GP, and a GI specialist. I've have three ultrasounds looking at my abdomen, many UAs, a CT scan, colonoscopy, endoscopy and a x-ray. All come back perfectly normal.
They've looked for pancreatitis, bowel blackage, kidney stones, gallbladder stones, bowel extension, IBD, infections, ulcers, stomach cancer, and ovarian cysts.
I walk a lot at work so my pain peaks up there pretty high leaving me to have to go home. I've been out of work for about a week now.
I'm writing this because I just got out of my colonoscopy+endoscopy and honestly I am at a loss. I don't know what to do next and I'm losing my faith in my doctor's.
What should I do next?

I was driving a Nissan versa Note 2019, the other driver turned directly in front of me at a double green turning left, striking head on on the passenger side. My head bounced off the airbag, i went to the er, got a CT scan few days later. I was clear but still have bad brain fog because I already had brain fog from sibo/sifo. I saw a concussion doctor and they raised my amitriptyline, I got an increase on my pain meds from my pain doctor, i am trying to get to PT but nearly becoming homeless and recovering from concussion has made that difficult. I see the concussion docs in a few weeks again, but im going to schedule with a neurologist.
Anyway, the other driver was doing doordash and was negligent by looking at their phone and not checking for oncoming traffic. A police officer witnessed the accident at the intersection. The other driver admitted in text message that he did not look for oncoming traffic, which I believe is proof of negligence without subpoenaing his phone records.
My question is, once I attend PT for several weeks, continue to see concussion doctors for ongoing brain fog(I had another wreck and concisson that was a little worse this time last year too, super fun lol, but that one was my fault I hit anyone I ran into a bus LOL) how much do you think I should try to get out of them. Do you think I need a lawyer or would that reduce how much I get?
This situation nearly made me homeless, and forced me to move out of my home due to lost wages, idk if that factors into pain and suffering. I got raises on my ADHD meds and antidepressant because of the worsening of issues I already had. I'm worried because of the craziness I wasnt able to get to PT very quickly, but I'm going to argue recovering from the concussion and lack of transportation plus nearly losing my home made it very difficult. I'm still going to go though, i went once but they weren't adequate, I have scar tissue from a back surgery two years ago and chronic back pain and it made it worse like I said I got a raise on pain meds. I need instrument assisted soft tissue manipulation (IASTM) to break up it up and get the spasms to stop and the muscle work correctly.
Sorry for the book, but I think i have a good case here, him being a dordash driver(considered commercial driver so higher standard of care here) plus obvious proof of nrgkigence. Do you think I can get over 10k? Do I need a lawyer, or could I threaten them with a lawsuit myself showing the how their driver admitted to negligence over text in his description in the accident. Thank you for any insight. I've never been in a situation like this but I know my sister and mom got over 20k on their whiplash settlement. There is also new concussion research showing 50 percent still have symptoms 6 months later, and some never completely recover. This has messed up my life beyond recognition, but if I get a good settlement and lost wages I can turn it around.
Accident was on April 20th, I've only been able to get to PT once because of the craziness and how out of it i have been with brain fog. I hope I make a full recovery but I have gut issues which I believe is slowing the healing process. But like i said, I have a lot of evidence of pain and suffering from getting increases on almost all my meds. Thanks for any insight and sorry for the wall of text lol

I applied for Econ and I just included the financial aid bit because online resources said to. Also, I didn’t reiterate my extracurriculars here because that’s in my application. Here is the letter below:
I have significant new information that changes my academic transcript: there was an error in my CC transcript and my Calculus 1A grade for fall 2022 was entered incorrectly as a C. It is now changed to a B which raises my GPA from a 3.71 to a 3.8. The implications of this correction are crucial because it changes the timeline of my academic performance. My grades dipped after the passing of my mother and appeared to reach their lowest point with my calculus grade, but now that the grade is corrected, my transcript is a lot more consistent and representative of the student that I am.
*My CC does not do grade pluses or minuses
It was difficult for me to display my full capacity for growth and achievement in my application because of how the passing of my mother affected me; I was her primary caretaker for two years while she battled cancer and I poured all of my being into helping her fight while still maintaining a successful academic career. It was only after her passing in October of 2021 that the true gravity of her loss impacted my ability to show who I was on paper. After devoting everything I had to taking care of her, I had nothing once she had passed and my purpose had vanished.
While my peers were undertaking external formative processes, I was waging war strictly with myself. It took time, effort, patience and compassion to piece who I was back together. Although I picked up three B grades in the two semesters subsequent to my mother’s passing, I still managed to absorb the subject matter and gain valuable insights in mathematics and economics. Now that my Calculus grade is a B, my transcript reflects this performance accurately.
I believe I have moved through the immense hardship of my mother’s death by processing my grief and reclaiming my purpose. My experience and her memory have revitalized my passion and desire to fulfill my potential; I branched out, formed connections, began internships, became more involved with my community, prioritized my mental and physical health through exercise and therapy, and truly began to become more than my past.
If my appeal is approved for UC Berkeley I will enroll as I truly believe the university is the perfect place to pursue my academic interests. I will also not be applying for financial aid. I have completed an Associate Degree in Economics and my grades for Spring 2023 are on track to be a 4.0. I also have a recommendation letter from a Berkeley alumni who recognizes my potential to succeed and contribute to the university.
Berkeley believes in challenging the status quo and my experience certainly does. With my unique journey I have been enabled with a distinctive constitution of traits that have proved invaluable to me and my community. I certainly believe they will be invaluable to UC Berkeley.

I'm thirty-one and realized my parents ruined my life from the beginning. I have struggled so much and felt so alone because of them. I grew up in a poor household raised by two Mexican Immigrants. I was neglected, emotionally, and physically abused at home. My parents ignored me during the early developing stages of my childhood. When I first learned to speak Spanish and I struggled, it was apparent to my parents as well. They didn't seem to care since my parents rarely talked with me. There were many words I couldn't pronounce and use the right words, and my communication was incoherent. Only my parents - mainly my mom - generally knew what I was trying to say, and yet she never tried to correct me. I remember when my mother wanted me to speak to my grandma over the phone. My mom would hand me the phone. I would try to say something like, "Hi, grandam! I hope you're having a good day!" and a few details about my day. She would understand none of it. I sounded gibberish to her. My mother had to translate my incoherent Spanish into regular Spanish, so my grandma could understand. It made me feel constantly inadequate because I couldn't communicate my thoughts or feelings. This miscommunication not only happened with my grandmother but also with other family members. Due to my inability to express myself adequately, I never had deep conversations with my parents, merely superficial ones.
Since I could not connect with anyone, over time, I believed that no one liked me, nor was anyone interested in what I had to say. I became an observer and watched people talk to each other. It blew my mind when talking comes so naturally to people. I always got confused looks every time I opened my mouth. The negative feedback I got from people only caused me to freeze up and panic whenever I had to talk, which worsened my communication. As a result, I was hypersensitive to social environments because I knew, I felt that no one would like me. So, I used to overcome these difficult moments of social interactions by ignoring them and isolating myself. Soon after that, I developed social anxiety and became anti-social from this. I always told myself that I preferred to be alone. Even though I always wondered why I was so different from everyone else and why the world around me seemed foreign to me. I felt alone and trapped. I knew deep down I was competent, but I couldn't show it. I wished someone could understand me. Since I could not communicate well, I learned to say a few words in a very soft and quiet voice, but mostly I learned not to speak. I trapped myself in a cycle. I didn't want to attempt to make any conversations because I sounded incoherent, but by not talking, my communication just got worse.
As I started learning English, I had the same difficulties I had with Spanish because I had no one to practice with at home. I only learned English at school, but even then, I didn't speak much. I remember teachers praising me for being quiet. If only they knew the truth. I spoke broken, unintelligible English at school and spoke broken, unintelligible Spanish at home. Whenever I wanted to make friends, there was always a miscommunication and I was left alone. I had difficulty opening up to other kids because I didn't want to look stupid. I avoided everyone who couldn't understand me. Therefore, at school, I never learned how to socialize or make friends. As time went on, I got used to being alone and never talking.
While attending primary school, another problem arose. I noticed that my eyesight was blurring, so I had to get prescription glasses, but I never wore them. The whole world around me was blurry, but I didn't care as long as I wasn't laughed at for wearing glasses. My parents didn't care that I could see. My mother also has glasses, but she doesn't wear them. I lost the ability to notice many non-verbal social signals at this vital stage because I could not see people's faces. I couldn't make eye contact even if I wanted to. I didn't learn much in school because I couldn't see. It was not until much later that I realized I made a big mistake by not wearing glasses.
In middle school, we used to read aloud during English class. I struggled a lot. In general, I had difficulties in school, but English class was the worst. It was a combination of not reading aloud and not reading much in general. Even if I knew what a word read in my mind, I couldn't pronounce it. I did not grow up with books, so reading was not my best skill. Every time I had to read in class, I got very anxious because wasn't reading at the same level as everyone else. I got corrected almost every sentence. I would always read ahead to check if I knew what each word said, and because of this, I never followed the lesson that day. Although I was never fond of books, I tried to read more, but I could not find books that interested me in my school library. I eventually found a few books to read, but every time I encountered an unfamiliar word, I had no one to read it or explain its meaning to me. Eventually, I started writing down all the words I did not know.
At the same time, in middle school, I tried to fit in, but I still struggled because of the language barrier. Then I started watching many TV programs to learn the way some people or characters on TV communicated. I started writing down every sentence I thought would be nice to say in social contexts. I filled a whole notebook, but unfortunately, I was an awkward kid who only knew how to say a few phrases in good English. A friend from school asked me why I could not speak Spanish or English well. At the time, I didn't know how to answer him because I didn't know why I was so bad at speaking both languages either.
In high school, I got better with simple talk, but if I talked too much, I would run the risk of stumbling over my words or making less sense. Since I couldn't hide this, most people could sense something was off about me. I knew it too, so I was obsessed with making every conversation perfect or figuring out what I could say instead. This only made me more anxious and overwhelmed. Ultimately, I learned it was better if I didn't talk. I avoided family events because everyone there only knew Spanish. I was comfortable speaking in English to people one-on-one. When I went out with a group of friends, I didn't speak at all. I was too overwhelmed by what people thought about me. And it was not just a language barrier; most of the things they talked about were experiences and events that I could not relate having had a rather limited and isolated life. These friends who were heading to college were having complex conversations. These high school teenagers were ready to become social adults, while I felt hopelessly stuck and left behind.
I was right. After high school, I struggled to connect with people. Most of my conversations don't go beyond small talk. Even though my English sucks, my Spanish is still worse. I still have trouble pronouncing words, using the right words, speaking slowly, and sounding coherent. None of my conversations flow. Misunderstanding happens a lot. I always hesitate to talk. My interpersonal skills are atrocious. I sometimes struggle to understand people. Even though I graduated from high school, I probably read, write, and speak at an eighth-grade level. Because I do not speak much, my vocabulary is limited in person. Because of this, I am easily intimidated by intelligent and sociable people.
The most difficult part of being an adult was finding a job. Most jobs would not hire me because many perceived that there was something wrong with me during interviews. Most jobs I got became toxic environments because of my communication difficulties. I learned people like you if you click with them and show good communication skills. I had bosses and coworkers behave very demeaning to me and, in some cases, be extremely rude to me. I could never understand why since I was trying my best. At first, I hated everyone. I was constantly bullied because I was not like them. I came to the conclusion that these people had their own problems, but I know that if I had a normal upbringing, I would not have been treated that way. I was always told that hard work matters. That's a lie. I learned that in life, communication matters more than hard work. I have seen unstable and lazy people get promoted and have a good life because they can communicate and be sociable with their bosses and colleagues.
I have missed many great opportunities in life. Communication is so essential in our society. People avoid me because I am unable to build rapport with them. It is frustrating that I will never be able to have a relationship, have real friends, get a good job or have a normal life. I am alone. Every birthday I would wish I was as smart as everyone else. I hate my parents for not doing a better job of raising me and making me normal. I could have a perfect life. I wish I could naturally articulate and express myself with the right words in seconds without the anxiety of being misunderstood and build rapport with people. The only thing I understand is that I was raised to fail.
TL:DR I have trouble being a productive member of society because of my parent's neglect

I thought things would get better, logically they should’ve. I’ve done everything in my power to give her the life she wanted and I get nothing, zero in return. Thousands spent to bring her back but at night she’s gone again. Truth be told I’m writing this because whenever I start to post here I get interrupted by a call from her.
I bought her the dream pet she wanted. Over the past month she’s taken care of it 2 times and I’ve been stuck with it every day. I simply don’t have the time to take care of an infant animal alone. After a day of shopping and completely redoing her wardrobe buying whatever she wanted, having a store employee walk her through store, catering to her every need, getting her the absolute best. I get a hint of affection, I get taken to a jewelry store and shown what style of ring she wants. Immediately I’m taken to her family and pushed to ask for their blessing. I did, I was honest with them that I needed to see some changes (ie: actually showing love like she once did, putting us first). I got their blessing and we were both happy.
Truthfully I was really happy as well. I thought I was getting my life back. She talked about the future, moving back in, getting a family doctor, the whole deal.
Her family told me they had my back, that they would even cut her off financially to influence her to me. I declined that offer because I don’t want someone to only be with me for money. She has shown me houses, talked about redecorating rooms in my home. But still I sleep alone. I told her all she had to do was spend 1 week with me and we’d go buy the ring. I feel so slimy saying that because it sounds like I’m buying love but for an entire year we had an incredible relationship where we were both involved. Even financially she’d do her part. It was never just me spending money. Now that is all it is.
I told her I felt like a sugar daddy. I despise this feeling. I despise her friends saying I’m manipulative. I just want the person I love to have the best. My texts don’t get responses unless she feels attacked. She told me she needed a week to get better. To detox from the drugs. I was told that I couldn’t text her. I offered to pay for her to go back to her Dr. But like all the other promises I’ve gotten these were empty too. And she went right back to the drugs.
I’ve tried to give her everything she’s wanted. The life she dreamed of with me is within her arms reach but helping out her mentally Ill friends and being used by them is somehow more attractive. Them treating her poorly is better than an easy life with me. Her own family is telling her she isn’t good enough for me, that she’s throwing everything away. But it doesn’t change anything.
All she talks about is her friends problems, when I bring up how I’m struggling “everything isn’t about you”. This week will be 2 months since she walked out. She claims “everything isn’t on my time” I’m aware, painfully aware.

My dad abused me (and my mom and sister) a lot growing up. He hit my sister and I, sexually abused my mom, and yelled at all three of us. There was a period of time where he would scream and berate me for hours because I had severe anxiety. He terrorized me, and constantly pushed me into situations that would give me panic attacks. And if I didnt go somewhere, he wouldn't feed me. He'd also deny me medical care, and even now if I had a medical emergency, I don't know if I'd get help in time because of him. Its nearly happened before.
I tried to run away, and kill myself, multiple times specifically because of him. I ended up in the psych ward multiple times too, and after the first time, he'd threaten to send me back and leave me there whenever I had a problem. He told me yelling at me is the best thing he ever did for me. I know this is abuse. But now... things like this don't happen. My sister's almost never home. My mom and I placate him. We do what he says, as if we're his servants.
All he does now is play his videogame, and get mad at us for interupting him; even if it's to take me to one of my many doctors appointments (I'm chronically ill). I don't tell anyone in this house how I feel. I let myself be misgendered and deadnamed because I know he won't budge. I don't fight back in fear of him yelling again, and the times I do fight back I end up hurt by some lengthy lecture or "jokes." No one protects me when he's mean. Sometimes they side with him.
I dont want to live here anymore. I feel so trapped and scared and helpless here. I genuinely don't know if I can survive here much longer. But I don't feel like I have a good enough reason to leave now, since most days, nothing happens. And I don't want to upset my mom and sister or anger my dad by leaving. I don't know what to do. And I have no where to go.
Also, yes. Im an adult.

TW: cutting and suicidal idealization.
Feeling overwhelmed. To preface, I have a decently full plate on my own. 33F, got divorced last year from a chronically lazy partner who still drags me down in coparenting, a five year old to protect and care for that I have primary custody of, in a masters program, and work 48 hours a week in healthcare.
I have a partner of ten months, he just recently met my ex, parents and daughter. Everyone gets along and it’s been smooth. We have recently been talking about love, the future, and just booked a week long vacation the three of us this summer. I am happy, he’s a good partner.
Yesterday we spent time together and after I left he cut himself in the bathtub. He reached out to his mother whom he lives with that he needed help. She called me and I came back, and we took him to the hospital. He got some outpatient resources and will start an intense ten day therapy six hours a day on Tuesday. This is all good, he’s feeling supported and wants to get help.
He doesn’t drive so I offered to pick him up the next town over for these ten days. I’m feeling like I need to tip toe around him and check on him frequently. This is all normal and what a partner should do. What I’m worried about is what I tell my daughter? I probably will just tell her he’s working and busy for the next couple weeks. And how to balance more on my plate? I’m feeling overwhelmed and like I can’t really give him my all.
The really bad part is I had some reservations about moving in together and how it would affect my child. I think this “rejection” was what put him in this worse headspace when he was already feeling low. Now I’m feeling guilty and worried about future talks about honest relationship timelines and expectations.
I’m just upset and would like some advice and anecdotes.

This is the weekly meet-up thread. Always be aware of potential risks of meetings strangers online. Be careful and be safe.
To better match yourselves up, you may want to (but not required for now) fill out the following questionnaire:

1. Age, gender, party group, Nationality
2. Purpose of meet up.
3. Length of meet up.
4. Date/potential dates.

Example:

1. M,33, solo traveler, USA
2. Looking for food buddies to try Korean meals that require 2+ people
3. Just for dinner, I have plans after
4. Anytime this week, even today is possible

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Weekly CoVid/Entry+Exit Korea questions
If your primary topic is related to:-Entry/Exit requirements (K-ETA, Q-code, vaccinations, etc) -CoVid Tests (where to get tests, what tests are required, vaccinations, what happens if I get CoVid, etc)-Predictions (When do you think X will open, what will change, etc)
Please post here. They are not allowed as a stand alone question anymore. All parent comments on this thread must be questions relating to those topics. If you’re one of those people interested in answering these, reply to parent comments. Travelers, try to look over the other questions asked on this week’s thread before asking. While some members don’t mind answering, it gets weary when every week the questions are the same. We understand the rules are constantly changing but try to do some homework first. The idea is to clean up the main page with travel questions about places to go, things to see, and so on and so forth. Cheers and happy travels!
Per user mikesaidyes:
(ADJUSTED FOR RECENT REMOVAL OF PRE-DEPARTURE TEST and Arrival Test)

Entry Requirements - Testing Rules, Documents, Timeline

(FOR Visitors and NOT for Korean citizens or long term residents with ARC)
The Singapore embassy has the most up to date info, better than the American consulates.https://overseas.mofa.go.ksg-en/brd/m_2435/view.do?seq=761395&page=1
**The Singapore Embassy link has documents with Testing FAQ, how to use K-ETA and Q-CODE. Look at it and download the PDFs.**

1. K-ETA for visa free entry: http://www.k-eta.go.kr Follow the directions exactly - bureaucracy loves rules. Do as they say and don't take any shortcuts with pictures, etc. This is no longer required for some countries.
2. Pre-Departure test NO LONGER REQUIRED.
3. Q-CODE Passenger Locator Form https://cov19ent.kdca.go.kcpassportal/ . This is optional and can be filled as a paper form upon arrival.
4. ARRIVAL TEST is no longer required post Oct 1.
5. KOREA DOES NOT REQUIRE DEPARTURE TESTING. The departure testing requirements are set by the country you are going to, NOT Korea.
6. Masks are required no longer required on public transit.
7. No entry log, vaccine pass, nothing to enter when you go in anywhere. No curfews or gathering size restrictions.

Hi people, not really sure what to do with these or who to complain to so I'll just leave them here:
"Dr Baskind firstly outlined details of the work of the ADHD service. Mrs White asked about the transition from the child ADHD service into the adult service, noting the comments he had made about some clinicians believing that the condition did not exist in adults"
"Dr Baskind indicated that there was not sufficient knowledge amongst GPs and clinicians outside the service and outlined the steps being taken to raise awareness and knowledge. "
https://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/about-us/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2020/01/Minutes-for-BoD-meeting-March-2019.pdf Page 1-2
"Whilst the system shows a wait of 271 days to first appointment, the reality is that the last person on the waiting list will have to wait 10 years under the current situation and capacity. Therefore, a radical approach is required urgently to start to improve this situation. "
" Non-recurrent investment has been approved which is being used for the following; 1) Employment of 2 additional consultant Programmed Activities to support the Annual Review waiting list. 2) Extension of locum consultant, 3) Developing an Annual Review pilot with primary care employing pharmacists, 4) Exploration of use of private providers to clear 100 referrals off the waiting list. "
https://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/about-us/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2023/01/1-Agenda-and-papers-BoD-Part-A-26-January-2023.pdf Page 85
This must have been reviewed by Dr Mike Smith in Jan as he has been the service clinical lead since Nov 2022??
"There have been two recent resignations of consultants in ADHD, ward 5 Newsam (locked rehab) and West WAA CMHT. All consultants are now working their notice periods having accepted positions in the private sector. "
https://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/about-us/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2022/03/1-Agenda-and-papers-Part-A-BoD-31-March-2022.pdf Page 141
" Waits are contributed to significant staff vacancies including 50% of the nursing establishment and the substantive Consultant Psychiatrist. More positively, the Consultant post has been covered by a locum which is working well at present, with the permanent post recruited to, with them due to start in November 2022. "
"For the ADHD service, the waiting list is currently 1,800 due to historic under funding of the service and general increase in referrals over the last few years. "
https://www.leedsandyorkpft.nhs.uk/about-us/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2022/09/1-Agenda-and-papers-Part-A-BoD-29-September-2022.pdf Page 16 and Page 32
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To summarise:

1. There appears to be an existing cultural issue in the trust in 2019 that ADHD did not exist in adults
2. Both consultants had quit for the private sector and backfilled with 1 locum (private contractor)
3. The waiting list is in fact 10 years long (as reviewed by Dr Mike Smith) and they are looking at engaging the private sector to plug the gap.

After listening to Dr Mike Smith on BBC Panorama I would love to hear his plan to resolve the situation in Leeds with no staff and a Locum and why he thought bashing the private sector was the main issue we needed to hear about.

F27, 5’5”, 114 lbs, do not smoke, on Wellbutrin (300 mg AM and 150 mg PM) and Adderall (10mg XR). Occasionally Tylenol, which is more often lately due to the subject at hand. Cranberry pills for a few days two weeks ago and throughout this past weekend. No medical diagnoses beyond depression and adhd. Possibly alpha gal syndrome, in my medical chart but official diagnosis is iffy.
I’ve been having what I believe is a UTI for a bit now. Symptoms first showed up two weeks ago and I took cranberry pills for a few days, symptoms seemed to ease. On Monday, I definitely didn’t drink enough water and my symptoms came back again (pain with urinating, peeing small amounts, peeing frequently, constantly feeling like I need to pee, rinse and repeat) but now I have pain in my left side/back that is constant feels like it’s getting a little worse over the last few hours.
I’m struggling to find an urgent care that can get me in tonight and my best friend offered me her amoxicillin she has, 7 days worth. I’m wondering if it’s safe to take someone else’s medication. Like, what if I don’t have a UTI but something mimicking one and amoxicillin will not help me? I really need some relief and I’m frustrated that I can’t seem to find available medical care but I worry about taking amoxicillin without doctors orders.
Thoughts? Thank you in advance.

Hi, I have been on Mounjaro for about 2 months. As we all know it has been a miracle for me. Not just the weight loss but many other issues. I am not T2 and have been paying out of pocket. I know how lucky I am that I have been able to do that. I have been using a telehealth provider called Find Sunrise. The website is difficult to navigate and pretty basic / minimal. This health subscription matches you to a doctor who can provide care in your state etc etc… my question is this- the site itself says once you reach a bmi of 27 then you need to discontinue the medication and they will no longer prescribe it. I asked the Dr. Himself if this was the case for him prescribing it as well, or if I was just a general guide for the site. He said it would be his plan as well, once I reach a bmi of 27 (which as we know, is still considered over weight, it’s just not considered obese). I was hoping to remain on the medication until I reached my goal weight, and because of how much better I feel- eventually remain on a maintenance dose of some sort, indefinitely. Would you guys ride it out with this telehealth service until they cut me off, or start looking for a new one now? If so, has any one had luck with a telehealth provider seeing this as a long term medication, if so who? Thanks so much!!!!!

Edit: I will be removing this post as it has offended members of this community. My character and research has come into question, which is an unfortunate mirror of how we have been treated and why my research is necessary. As a member of this community I deeply apologize for any harm this post has caused.
Hi all!
I'm a researcher who is producing a short documentary on internalized sexism based on my doctoral work. In my study there was a lack of diversity and I want my next study to include unconventional populations.
I'm trying to figure out how to approach/recruit women-identified individuals who occupy intersections of nonconformist artists, spiritual practices, sexual preferences and occupations.
I want to ensure I handle this with care as I'm interested in helping give certain populations a voice rather than exploit their stories. I am acutely aware of the type of oppression these communities experience and do not want to contribute to the problem.
I'm coming to you for insight or advice on how I can approach this delicate topic?
Thank you so much!

I have been taking tia Sodium for about 4 years now. At this point, it has ballooned into a 5gpd habit. Skip to the last paragraph for the important part.
There are some strange things to note. I sleep a solid 8 hours, and sometimes I wake up without being in withdrawal, 9.5 hours after my last dose. But no matter when or how much I dose after waking, full blown withdrawal in 3 hours at best. I also have seen a recent return of my sexual function, which is strange for reasons I don't have to explain on this subreddit. I'm able to take half of my regular dose without so much as discomfort. I also experience nothing from taking it. In fact, I feel worse on the stuff than I do in the earliest stages of withdrawal.
My plan is to taper myself down back to the sub 100mg per dose range, but I borderline have PTSD from the times I was forced to go cold turkey for two or three days at a time. When I do get withdrawal, it's absolutely brutal: A bone-chilling coldness despite being drenched in sweat, full body restlessness, a racing heart, a constant rush of unpleasant emotions, and a total lack of sleep for 72 hrs. Plus, horrible body odor, extreme weakness, constant shakiness, and an inability to keep food down.
Kratom doesn't help, benzos and weed barely touch it. I don't want to be stuck on methadone or suboxone for the rest of the foreseeable future, and if I'm quitting the stuff, I won't be able to work to afford care anyway. I'm need to rapid taper and then cold turkey this. It feels like the only realistic option.
The important part: Gabapentin is the only thing I've tried that actually helps. It near-totally resolves my symptoms in relatively small amounts. I could actually kick tia if I could get enough to buckle down for 4 days. The problem, however, is that I'm not able to get it in the state of Virginia. An actual doctor at urgent care told me they're not licensed to prescribe controlled substances for withdrawal (and they don't even know what tia is), telehealth won't prescribe gabapentin in virginia, psychiatrists refer me to addiction centers, and every addiction center in my area only seem to give methadone, suboxone, naloxone, and benzos for opiates. Technically, there aren't even established guidelines for treating tia addiction here. Not to mention, my lack of healthcare would make rehab an absolute pain to pay for.
How can I get my hands on Gabapentin in Virginia? I feel like I've tried everything to get it, and at this point, I'm seriously losing steam. I want out, but no one seems to have keys for the damn door. Any help, tips, anything?